Ever find yourself criticizing your kid…and then feel really terrible about it? You’re not alone. Parenting is hard and there’s plenty to complain about. In this episode you’ll learn how to tell the difference between complaints and criticism and how (and why) to stop criticizing your child.
Let’s face it. Kids are really annoying. They don’t really think before they act. They don’t use a lot of logic to make decisions. They are reactive, emotional, and dramatic. They don’t manage their emotions well. They aren’t usually very tidy. They definitely like to play more than work. They don’t keep track of time or their belongings well.
Complaining about the annoying things your kid does is totally normal. What we want to look out for is when your complaining becomes criticism.
Complaints vs. Criticism
Complaining about a specific behavior or event can be productive in parenting. A complaint can help to highlight a problem, which then allows you to come up with a solution.
Criticism, on the other hand, can lead to powerlessness and overwhelm for you, a negative self-concept for your child and disconnection between the two of you.
Think about how you might respond to dirty dishes in the bedroom:
Complaint = I hate finding dirty dishes in the bedroom.
Criticism = You’re such a slob. There are always dirty dishes in here. So gross.
How To Stop Criticizing Your Child
Criticizing can become a pattern and a habit, so the first step is noticing when you are complaining or criticizing.
From there, you can identify the actual problem and set clear limits around it.
In this episode, I walk you through examples of HOW to do this, and I also share one of my very favorite tools for resetting your thoughts about your kids.
The differences between a complaint and criticism
How your complaints can actually guide your parenting
3 steps to get out of the pattern of criticism
P.S. I’m so sick of mom-shaming. It’s a trap. Don’t fall into it. Everyone has moments when they think shitty thoughts about their kid. It's normal. There’s nothing wrong with you. You aren’t a bad mom.
The problem is when those thoughts become a habit. If you are stuck in a negative thought spiral about your kid and can’t get yourself out of it, that’s what coaching is for. Join Calm Mama Club and get practical parenting support, so you never get stuck again.