Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

Robb and Tina explore what a good life looks like today, considering factors like money, free time, security, and personal fulfillment. They share personal stories and insights on how perspectives shift with age and circumstances.

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This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email [email protected]. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always Tina. How are you doing Tina?

I'm doing all right, Rob. How are you doing?

Nice and cool.

my god, the weather's been amazing. Right?

amazing. Yes, I I had a very, very nice day today. It was so nice.

Yeah. I sat out on the back patio and colored with some acrylic markers. Who does that? I I don't know, I just didn't have much to do and I was like, I'm gonna sit out here and enjoy my day and I did.

That's not too shabby.

Yeah. I hardly ever have time like that. Like where you could color.

You know it's I I will tell you though, California was not ready for this storm. I don't know if you heard about like Long Beach and H the coast. They got hammered.

No.

Yeah, there's houses that are they're yeah. And and some that are right there on a on a needle. Yeah.

In the ocean. Yeah, it's pretty bad. But Yeah, there's like teetering. Yeah. How what about where you live? Did you get a lot of rain?

No, it rained for literally ten minutes. It rained good and then it was gone, everything dried up and it went right back to being normal. It was weird. It was hot though. Yeah. It was hot.

On Sunday? no, not where I live. It rained no. so I took my dog at five in the morning. I ran the hell out of him for like forty minutes because it started raining and it didn't stop raining until about two thirty in the afternoon. no, and it yeah, and it ran it rained hard the whole time.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

Yeah, we did not get that. We got maybe ten minutes of a good rain. Like it it got the ground wet and then everything just dried up and it went right back to normal. But humid, 'cause, you know, it was still hot. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you're right. Wild. No, dude, it was and it was chilly here all day. Like it it probably didn't on Sunday it probably didn't get above I would probably say sixty seven. Yeah. It was it was nice. It was chilly the whole time. I really enjoyed it.

Mm-hmm.

It was probably like about seventy here. And then it got to seventy five today, but really that's like perfect weather if you ask me.

Okay, yeah.

The funny thing is, is those Sunday here it was 67 and no sun. It was just cloudy the whole day, so it was kind of nice. I enjoyed it. so today, I was always as always looking for things to talk about today, and I came across this one. And I think right now, what does a good life look like now?

Yes.

Yeah, I did too.

Mm.

It says as money worries and fast-changing technology shape people's choices, success may look different than it did for our parents. would you choose more money, more free time, or more security? boy. That is such a loaded question these days.

It is. It is. I I don't know, I'm kind of I'm kind of at a point right now where I'm really digging my life. You know, I'm doing what I wanna do. I have a lot of freedom, a lot of time to do me. and I'm I'm busy. I I just said before we got on here, I'm I'll never have time to sit and do nothing. I always got something planned going on, going to visit, I mean

I I like having my freedom. I I guess that's my answer is I would choose my freedom but security does make me nervous because there is no security right now for me.

I mean, I'm good where I'm at, but

It it's a wild question. It's a wild question if you look at like only those three, right? I mean, everyone would like more money, because I think with more money comes more security, right? You're less likely to have to worry about getting kicked out of where you live, missing bills, having your car repoed. Like there's lots of things that can happen when you don't have money.

I wouldn't say secure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

So I think money and security kind of walk hand in hand. but also s I think I look at security from the standpoint of just like knowing what you want. Like life is hard enough as it is to have to stress every day. So if you're in in theory, if you're breaking even, let's just say you're making you're making money, but not a lot.

There's security in just that, right? There's security in getting by. And you know, a lot of people don't want to hear that, but the reality is it is. There is security because there's a lot of people who aren't getting by. So, I see that. But free time. free time is amazing. When you have when you have a lot of free time, like I

Mhm. Right. Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

You know, you you pushed me to go on a vacation. no, no. I mean, with the exception of what it cost, it was awesome. 'cause it it it was short term, so it did cost me a little bit of money. But I ended up going to South Dakota, and you know, we went to the Black Hills, my parents ran me ragged, pretty much had me doing something every single day. And I mean

Sorry.

Yeah.

South Dakota is known for its national and state parks. And you don't get on a scooter or a golf cart and go around those parks. So w you drive a lot of them and then you get out and you walk all over the place. but having the time to do that was nice. And and as much as we did, you know, our front end of the days were always busy and then the back ends were always like at home chilling and doing our thing.

Yeah.

So I got kind of the best of both, right? I had these busy days where I got to see shit I've never seen before. And then in the afternoon to evening, they were just free time of bullshitting and going out on the the deck and looking at the sunsets. so

That's another that's what I did when I was in West Virginia. We need more decks in California because that is like such a nice way to end the day. We used to go out and watch or we used to when I was there we went and watched the sunsets because you could see them right out the front door on the deck and a a glass of tea or or a

Yes.

mug of coffee and we would sit out there and just discuss how beautiful life was. There we don't do that here in California. We don't have decks like that.

Mm-mm. No, and because there's pretty sunsets here. I I'm not gonna argue there's there's pretty sunrises here. unfortunately, sunrises are kind of hard because you have to chase them in California because you have a very, very small amount of time to see a pretty sunrise. Where the sunsets are great because the sun sets in the west and the

There are, for sure,

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

There's a long time period of watching the sun come down. so I think that we as Californians, we cherish sunsets, where the east and the south they really cherish the sunrise because it happens there and it happens a lot before work. You know what I mean? Like I'm driving when there's really cool sunrises here.

Here we are. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

They're sipping coffee on their deck. So and even in South Dakota, which is only an hour ahead, like I walked out and saw some really nice sunrises as well. So I I like that free time. It look, a a good life is is all always gonna be subjective, right? A good life to you and a good life to me may have similarities.

Yes.

But they're subjective to whatever we're looking for or into or whatever.

So what is a good life to you?

Gene. You know I will tell you at least for the last seventeen years my good life was making sure my kid was okay. Right? I when you're a single parent and or when you're a parent, I'll just say that because

Yeah.

When you're a parent, for sure.

But as a single parent, I I think that you put a lot on yourself to make sure everything is taken care of. Right.

Yeah. And that is like a huge it's a huge responsibility that you put on yourself. Like even more so than probably what it is looking looking at the situation, but still i I yeah, huge.

Yeah.

It it is. It's and and like I said, I remember when I first moved when I moved out where I'm at now, I started making a lot more money. And we had really good months in sales, like really good. so I was buying myself some stuff and I remember my kid was like, Man, you're sure buying yourself a lot of stuff and I was like, Yeah, dude, just so you know I had the same pair of shoes for five years. But you didn't know because I didn't tell you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So to me a good life is that. things are changing for me. we talked before we got on. My son's gonna move out of state. It'll be the first time I've been alone since he was born. So he'll be twenty four in December. So twenty-four years I've No no no for sure, but I mean taking care of him. I mean I haven't I haven't let's see f I was with his mom f

Yeah.

Well, since before he was born.

Four years before he was born. So I really haven't been alone. And I really wasn't even alone in that condo because I had roommates, but alone, alone. For like, yeah, twenty-eight years. So my life is about to change. And what a good life is, I'm gonna have to reevaluate what that is. I don't know.

Yeah.

I mean money is obviously a great thing to have because it makes it makes getting things better. That's really it though. Yeah, and and how many things can you have? Like you know, I where I work I I sell lots of different things, TVs, a bunch of other stuff. I

Mm-hmm.

Easier.

At work, there's a open box TV that's I can get for incredibly cheap. A big one, like an 85 inch. Hey, kitty. Yeah, so so for me, I look at like, yeah, it's just things. Yeah, am I gonna buy it? Yeah, because it's in the price range of doing it.

Right. Sorry. She just barged in and decided she needed to talk. Sorry.

But after he leaves, it's just gonna be me. So I think I will need less things. So I you know, I mean, I think like we've talked about her a million times and how I always say that I don't want to have be in a relationship. But I will probably tell you that I would like a companion. I would like someone to do things with. I just not sure I want the responsibility of having to worry about people's feelings.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

You know, it's that's a difficult thing. But I think that's part of a good life is having a companion or being in a relationship. I I don't know. Right now I have a pretty good life. I'm getting by, things are paid, I'm not stressed out over bills. so we'll see. But I I I think that a good life is what you make it regardless of what it is. You gotta find out whatever the good life is. I think that I'm

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

You know, look, I I hang out me and I me and my dog are like basically my life right now. I love going and driving places with him. So I'll probably find things to do like that more. Go hiking, take places to take him, go to the beach with him, drive around. I'm I'm definitely going to take more pictures. I you know, I do photography and I really kind of put that on the back burner for some reason. Just kinda

I I go through phases of like wanting to do it and not wanting to do it. and I'm in a phase of like I'm getting ready. Me and a friend of mine who lives out in Ventura County, we're setting up some studio shoots. I'm gonna, you know, I'm really gonna kinda get back on that train. And then and obviously this. You know, I think putting more it'll be I'll be able to put way more time into this. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You should, 'cause you were good at it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not that I we don't now, but I mean I will pro we'll probably get ahead. 'Cause I'll it'll be much easier for me to just go, I don't have any place to go. I don't have to worry about anything. and I'll probably eat way less once he leaves. Because I won't I you know, I'll be less likely to go out and get fast food. I'll just eat something here and

Hmm.

you know, make more things like that. But you know, a good life is a good life is what you make it. So but but I will agree with you for me going forward after I'm a a a lonely person in an apartment, my free time will be will be probably measured a lot better. I will do things more and

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And then I'll be more apt to like, you know, drive to you and and do Chi Chis or like do more things. Like just get it, you know, yeah. The pizza place. The the Yeah, yeah. For those who don't know, yeah, it's it's a pasta and pizza place in the San Fernando Valley where we we res I resided for many, many, many, many moons.

Two cheeses. The pizza place. That could go bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Delicious.

And and Tina still resides there. So for many more moons, right? Yeah, I've been I've been away a couple of moons. I've nine, nine and six, four six yeah, like fifteen years I haven't lived in the valley. Yeah, I was yeah. I mean, here's the thing too. Part of having a good life is

Many more moons. Yeah.

Damn. I've always lived here, so

liking where you are. Like I I I did two years in Vegas and as much as I I enjoyed it there, it was harder for me because my kid was so small, I couldn't do things. Then when I came back this direction to California, like where I I lived in Camarillo, it was nice. I had a good roommate. It was it was a very positive experience. So

Excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

That's part of having a good life. Finding your routine and finding a place you enjoy to live and finding so I think as human beings, like let's say you you're over California. Let's just, you know, if the if you're one of those people, move. Like you you only have a very, very small amount of time on this planet. Stop.

Yeah.

messing it up by going, Well, what am I gonna do?

Well, I think the thing is in order to have a good life, you just need to be okay with the now. I I don't know what the future's gonna bring and if you asked me twenty years ago did I thought did I think I'd be in the place that I'm at now, I'd say absolutely not. We don't we don't know that. Nobody knows that. So the trick is that you have to be happy within you.

in order to have a happy life because there's never enough money. There's never enough free time. I've got a lot of free time. I do a lot of things with my free time, so I fill it up. But could I use more? Hell yeah. Like if I was retired and I didn't have to work, you bet your ass I'd have things to do and places to go and people to see. You your passion for life is on a day to day basis. And if you wanna have a good life

You need to quit with your excuse my French fucked up attitude. You need to change what's really broken in your life. You need to take responsibility for who you are. You need to drop other people's expectations. I mean, literally, you just got to live for you. And if you have kids, then it doesn't mean drop off somewhere and leave But but still your life is your life. Somebody asked me the other day if

Yes.

if you had to choose between your kids and your mate, who would you choose? And I said, Well the answer is you choose your mate 'cause your kids are gonna move on and they're gonna have their life and they're gonna do their thing. But the person that's your mate, the person that stands next to you every day, that is your life. And and I've been shown that, you know, that that it's i

You know, you you have to live for you and what you need and what you want. Now it doesn't mean you don't take care of your kids, you take care of with everything you have. It doesn't mean that you don't love Love with everything that you have. But at the end of the day, they're not gonna be the ones sitting with you. They're not gonna be the ones that made the financial choices with you. They're not the ones that bought the house with you. They're you know what I mean? There's so many things. And and

You know, if you're in a relationship that needs to be your number one and you need to work on that continuously all the time, just as you would if you had kids.

I totally agree. I I had told somebody a few years ago who was very

very much worried about their adult children.

And for good reason. Like they're they're like one was way older, thirty, twenty something, and then had a a young man who was like my son's age, twenty something years old. And I get it. And and I think that y you should live for your children, but for how long?

My mom always said, You live with your children, you live for your your husband.

I I posted something to the other day, and don't know if you saw it, but I thought I thought it was a very poignant Instagram post. there it if you guys want to look it up, it's called Thinking Mind. Thinking Minds page. It's really cool. It's a bunch of quotes and stuff. But this one

kind of goes along with what you said. It says your death is way more guaranteed than your wedding day. So instead of looking for love of your looking for the love of your life, start living for the life you love. And yeah, I mean look, I I I remember joking with my dad, you know, seeing my dad

Yeah.

in his eighties. You know, I used to make jokes about him when he was in his forties that he was old. Like, you're an old man. And and now my son kind of does the same thing. Like, you're old. It's like, yeah. But we're not. I mean, we are, but we're not. So I I don't know if I've said it on here before, but years and years and years and years, years and years and years ago.

Mm-hmm.

Me and my dad were at some I don't know. It was like a grocery store. But in the old days, if if you're an old folk like us, there used to be a magazine rack at the at the grocery store that you could pick up, you know, whatever. Comic books. It was great for me. But I remember my dad looking at a Playboy. And in my head, he was like 40-something years old. Right? He was young.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And I in my head then I was like, I don't understand how you could look at this 20-year-old girl and like find her pretty. Like that could be your daughter. Well, because inside your mind, you're still 15. That never changes. So I think part of having a good life is being an adult when you have to, but always be a kid inside.

Yeah.

Too many of us

There's a lot to be said for th maybe not even a kid, but you know, I know a lot of people that I ask to do things and their first answer out of their mouth before they even have a chance to think of it is no. And then my one of my friends said, I call her the yes girl because she'll say yes to anything. You wanna go to a concert? Yeah, I'll go with you. Do you wanna go off roading? Yeah, I'm there. Do you wanna go to Pismo and just take a ride for the day? Sure, let's go.

You know, but I think that I do feel like the reason and this is just for me, I know no you don't have to be this on the go, but part of it is just I like to go and experience new things and and say yes and see where see where life is taking me because right now I feel like a kite in the wind without a string. Like truly, other than taking care of my dad right now, 'cause he's, you know, kinda going through it, I

Right.

I don't have any reason to say no to anybody or anything and I do a lot of really cool things because of it. And I think that sometimes living and taking chances or risks or trying something new is it it helps you to be happy and enjoy life and and stay young at heart even when your your body and your mind and everything's turning on you, you know?

Right. Yeah I guess you're right. Young at heart. Like, obviously you can't go, you know, dirt bike riding at sixty. I mean your body generally can't take it. But

Yeah.

Can you? 'Cause I went at fifty five and I'm okay.

You went dirt bike riding? Yeah. I mean, I I I I guess it all matters well how your b I mean, I'm messed up anyway. So like I I already did my my 20 years of 30 mile an hour car wrecks. You know, I I abuse my body enough wrestling. I I think that's I mean, I'm still okay, but I I think that you I agree with you. You have to you have to try to say yes more.

Yeah.

I think that maybe that is having a good life. Saying no less. You know what I mean? Like, I'm I don't want to say I'm a hermit, but I like home. I'm a homebody. but I b have definitely tried my best to get out more. It's you know, you you can only do so much, and it's gonna be worse.

It's been great for me.

Yeah.

You know, my kid now, as much as he's here, he's in his room a lot and he'll come out when he wants to talk and then disappear and I see him twenty five to thirty minutes a night. So I kinda live I kinda live alone now.

If you're lucky. Yeah.

But you know, I think this next going into the future for me, if I end up staying in California or if I end up leaving, like there's nothing's off the table for me now because I'm going to have the luxury of being able to just switch. Just do what I want. So yeah, if if something comes up, like I I was at one point thinking of moving to North Carolina.

Mm-hmm.

At one point, I was thinking of moving to Arizona. You know, and not that you should move. Yeah, I mean, and look, you know, was I gonna move for people? Yes, but I think that's also part of your life. You know, if if you find somebody who you think is going to work for you in your life, you should definitely take the chance. And and I think that

Yeah.

But isn't that cool that you can?

Now that I'm going to be alone, I'm I will probably be more open to at least giving people a a try. where because I've I've gone through some self-made nonsense of chasing people I probably shouldn't for a long time. and and it costs me, you know, probably good relationships for chasing somebody who wasn't gonna be there for me.

Mm.

So my good life now is going to be do the things that you want, you know, with a little less saying no. money is money is money. You know, like you're gonna make it back. Like I just not

Yeah.

Well, and if you look at your life, you got here having enough, right? So you're always gonna have enough because history has told you you're gonna have enough. It may not be everything that you want or need, but your needs are gonna get met. So you just have to believe that.

Yeah.

Correct.

Yeah, and you you have to look at the you know, look, I I think a lot of people are I don't know what you are. I think you're a half glass full person. Knowing you for for for who I am definitely that the glass is just full of piss. Doesn't matter if it's half full or half, and I I need to get away from that.

Yes, for sure.

Yeah.

because it's not a good way to live. And and I but I know this. I I have so many people going, you need to go to therapy. And I was like, No, I don't need to go to therapy. I know what's wrong with me. I just need to work on myself saying, you know, stop doing this shit. Talk to yourself.

Yeah, you do.

I think too a lot of a lot of expectations of where you should be or what you should be doing, that will drive you crazy. 'Cause again, I thought I'd have five or six kids, I'd be the mom with all the grandkids, I'd be the the one that, you know, big parties on Sunday, should all even throw down some mariachis, like, you know, have like big barbecues and big family things and that's not what's going on these days.

yeah.

Right, yeah.

You know, so it's like I I could be sad or I could feel sorry for myself that it didn't turn out with an exp an expectation that I had of myself when I was seventeen. Or I could say, Well, shoot, like this this world's not all that conducive for raising kids right. So maybe I'm grateful that I don't have any and and I move on with that and I do other things and I f and I

feed other parts of my life that I have time to do. And that's what it that's truly what I do.

I agree with you. You can't you can't just sit in a pile of shit. Even though you're shit sitting in a pile of shit.

Sometimes it sucks, but you but you gotta get up and clean yourself off, regardless of whatever that means to the person listening. It could mean your job is shitty, you're in a bad relationship, you're in no relationship, your parents are dying, whatever it is. You can only sit in it so long to where you can't get the stink off of you. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And also, you know, like you said about your parents dying, like worrying about it and and and putting yourself in a place where you fear it is is not healthy either. Like my dad and I have had conversations as of late and he you know, he he's tells me, he goes, So, are you ready for what comes next?

And he's done that to me my whole life with things. It's one of those like I hate talking to him like this. But this is what we do. And you know, I always say, No, I'm not ready for what comes next. Like I but but I told him, you know, this last time I said, But I will be when it happens because you get everything that you need to get through, whatever you're going through at any given time if you have faith, and I do.

Right.

And and so, you know, I told him I said, Hey Dad, we don't have do we have any drama or any beef or any anything? And he's like, No. I said, Then I think we're both ready. And and I think that that's like a big part of life is I do live in the moment. I do tell my people I love them. I do try to be the best person I can. I don't worry about things that I can't fix or change or support.

I could only do what I could do and I and I put my all into it and and the rest it's just life. It's just life. No you know, nobody gets over anything. Like we all have to go through it. You know, we we all have our our things that we have to go through in life and just take it on the chin and and find a way to get through it and and

Yeah.

Take that time and be happy and be grateful and be be busy and and take a look around because life could be way worse if that's what you want to look for. Or it could be like the most amazing thing. It just depends on your persp your perspective and what you want to see.

I I think the way that you're thinking these days. Look, I I went and saw my dad, right? my dad's not young. So I am in that kind of twilight zone of like, you know, I I don't know how long he has to live, right? So I'm glad I went and saw him. we had a good time. My brother was there. it I

Mm-hmm.

You needed to see him too.

No, no, I yeah, I we all needed to see each other. And and my stepmom, who's twenty years younger than my dad, is gonna take care of my dad. And I have no qualms about it. She's really good. but for the first time, you know, i his mortality hit me.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

so yeah, I think you you just see the world differently as we get older, and you should. Like I'm not saying that you know life isn't the same as it was when we were 20. But a good life, it's not. It's nowhere near it. It's nowhere near it. But I think a good life at 20

It's not though. It's not. No.

is is probably the same as a good life now. We we just didn't strive for it as much 'cause we didn't have to. You know, 'cause when you

A good life? I had a great life when I was twenty. What do you mean?

No, but well that's what I mean though, but we we all thought that like we didn't have to strive for this thing because we didn't have job a lot of us didn't have jobs or I and not even just 20, let's say 18, 17, 16. Like young people, you don't strive to say, I'm I'm gonna have a good life. Because you think your life is forever. You know what I mean? Like you're like fucking, I'm bulletproof.

Yeah, you do. Absolutely.

Nothing's gonna get me. And for the most part, I think we're lucky. the last high school reunion we went to, you didn't go to the 30, did you? You didn't. Okay. We didn't have a we didn't have a lot of people die though. There wasn't a lot we were still pretty good. I mean, you know, obviously we had we had some the fucking tenure.

Yeah.

I did not. I was over it.

Good.

Yeah. Quite a few actually.

Like we were quite a few. But it's it's not like this huge, huge, huge number. It's gonna get that way though. so I I think for the most part we've had a good life. Like, really. one of my favorite quotes is from an old movie, older movie, but not really, eighty-six.

Yeah.

yeah.

Ferris Bueller Days Off, Ferris Bueller's Day Off has one of the greatest quotes I think ever written. It says, Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. That should be on every single person's calendar, wall, in their car on a post-it. Going forward, because I'm gonna get this printed for my kid when he leaves.

He

Yeah.

And I'm gonna tell him, I'm gonna put it in a frame. I'm gonna say, hang this on your wall wherever you live. And every day before you leave the room, read this. Because if you don't look around, you're gonna miss it. And I think I've I've missed things in spite of my own face.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Because I was looking down my nose at something else, thinking this is what I needed when I missed out on a lot of good. And I and I mean people, relationships that I should have been in, that I look back now and said, in spite of myself, I kept going towards this thing because I, you know, I thought stupid. And it's the same thing. I think I've missed out on jobs. Because I was like.

Hmm.

I don't need to do this. I'm comfortable where I'm at. And then I, you know, when I moved out here, well a couple of times, but when I moved out to where I live now, I was comfortable in Camarillo, like very comfortable. and it and it would have just gotten nothing but more comfortable because they weren't gonna rise raise my rent. It was just a good situation. But I knew that other things had to change. I had a a young lady tell me one time

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Look, you're a good guy, but you live your roommate's a woman. How long are you gonna wait and have to tell the next woman in your life that you're living with a woman? And I was like, that's a good point. And it kind of pushed me to see the world differently, that yeah, you you still have to be a functioning adult.

absolutely.

You know. And like I told you before, the best time of my life in a long time was the first night I moved in here. I remember sitting on my couch in my underwear and just clicking on the television. My son was in his room set in something. I and I just sat there for a second and I kinda giggled. I was like, yeah, like I haven't the for the first time in a long time, it's me. And I'll and I'll probably do the same when he leaves.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

He'll move on, get on an airplane, whatever boat. And the first night I'm sure I'm gonna sit here and and I'll probably cry. But I will definitely sit and go, yeah, this is the next stage of my life.

Yeah. And there is life after your kids leave the house. There is. It's it's kind of mm, how do you say that? It it's jaw dropping how different it is. At first, like you're like, Whoa, this is this is happening? Okay, you know, but then it is, but then again, you you know, you're sitting in your underwear.

Yeah, it's I'm sure it's very surreal.

And you ate a bowl of cereal for dinner because you don't need to cook a whole meal for anybody. You know, that and I and I've had that moment, you know, and you're like, Wow, like Yeah, 'cause like when, you know, when I was married, I cooked every night or we went out, you know, there was something and then I I came here to dad's and and dad was really giving me some space. You know, he was like, I don't know where Tina's gonna go.

Right.

Right. I didn't even think about that.

Right.

I I'm sure. Yeah.

And I think everybody was like that. You were like that. Everybody was waiting to see what I was gonna do, you know, or how I was gonna be or whatever. And I and I I grabbed a bowl of cereal and I sat down to date and I was I said to myself, I got this. Like I got this. It was the bowl of cereal though. There was something about having a bowl of cereal instead of cooking a meal for for people and I was like, Wow, I got this. Okay, you know, I I didn't

Right.

Right.

Maybe I should eat some vegetables tomorrow because I had a bowl of cereal for dinner, but other than that I got this, you know, and I I I wish that moment for you, Rob, because it's kinda cool. And and you will be okay and you will adjust and you will have more time for you and and I'm I'm excited this is how I see life though. I'm excited for what comes next for you.

'Cause that's how I look at life. What's gonna come next? Let me get my popcorn, put my feet up and watch 'cause things happen.

Right.

agree. I and I like I said, I think well, and kinda like you, I I'll give you an example of like the flip side of that. Good life. You know, people questioned you about certain things like, why would you want to get a motorcycle? Why would you want to do this? And well, that's a whole that that's a whole other podcast, but yes. Right.

No, they still do.

Why would you want to get divorced? You were I I got that from a lot of people. Why do you want to get divorced? I I thought you had such a great life. Everybody was blown away. I've had people most recently saying, Yeah, I didn't know what the hell was going on. Were you having a midlife crisis or what and then I saw that you needed to be away. But it took them some time to get that.

Mm-hmm.

Right. Well and and that's because they don't live our life. But I think something is because I know you got a lot of shit over getting a motorcycle. from from several people. I remember you telling me

Right.

A lot. A lot.

People that had no business asking or saying shit too, by the way. Just throwing that out there.

No, but that's the whole point. I think that's that's the point in general with and everything we've been talking about. Like if I want to go out and spend money on whatever. I want to buy a new microphone, let's just say. I don't give a shit what people think. I'm gonna go buy it. Like, I'm I'm past that worry stage of like I look, they they can't take any of this shit with us. I'll be in debt when they bury me.

Mm mm.

Fuck him. You know what I mean? Like, and and I'm gonna make sure that my son doesn't have to wait through probate to get any of my shit anyway. So, like the day I'm dead and he puts me in the cooker, poof, everything's his. He's not gonna have to wait for anything. And he won't pay my debt because he'll write him letters saying, he's dead, I didn't get anything. So, like, you know what I mean? Like, so be done with it. Like, I I'm gonna put.

Right.

It's here in the cook.

Yeah.

Yeah.

His name on my all my accounts. There'll be an ATM card here waiting for him. The day I drop dead, he can come in here. There'll be a note saying, You're on the you're on the account. You can go get money out right now. It's all yours. Don't wait. Be done. Yeah. Go and you're good. It's your name's on the account. It's your account too. They can't, they can't hold it. No. He'll just he'll just have a new ATM card and he'll live off whatever's in my account.

Do it right now. Right now, right now.

Yeah, he doesn't even need to get it out.

And and then all the bills that I owe, he'll write a letter and go and he's dead. Here's a copy of his death certificate. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, and be done. He'll move, he'll live on with his life. so at the end of the day, live for the now. And I'm going to really start doing that. And I've been doing it. I don't want to say that I haven't, because I I have. I've whenever I want something now, I don't question that shit. If I want to go get it, I'm gonna go do it.

Yeah.

Yeah. You definitely should live for the now with the exception of take care of your teeth and your skin. Like seriously, there are things like I always I always as a child had moisturizer. I don't know why my skin was on the oilier side, but I always felt the need to wear a moisturizer and sunscreen. And now I look at my skin and I'm like, Wow, it could have been

I I've

Yes.

Crap had I not paid attention as much as I did, 'cause I still have very light skin, so I've had issues with it, but couldn't imagine what it would be like had I not taken care of it. And your teeth, you need them in your mouth. In your mouth for them to work.

Yes.

Yeah. And not in your pocket. Cause I will tell you I I have missing teeth. And I and I will tell you that you're a hundred percent correct. Take care of your teeth. and your skin is a whole other monster. My dad had some my dad worked outside. He worked for Caltrans. If people who don't know, that's like the state of California, who does like freeway work. And my dad had lots of skin issues because he was always out in the sun. me, I'm

No, not in your

Yeah.

I tan really well. I am very light complexed right now because I don't go in the sun. Also, I have thousands of dollars of tattoos. So I really take care of my skin because I don't want them bleeding out and looking shitty. But a hundred percent like skin cancer is very prominent. People don't understand how prominent it is. but you're right. There's certain there's a lot of things you should take care of, but

He

Yeah.

You but live for the now within those rules. Like, yeah, brush your teeth every day, but you know, go party. you know, make sure you have sunscreen on, but go to Vegas and lay in sun. Like whatever it is you you want to do, do it. and within reason. Whatever I will the only thing I will say of everything about living whatever you think a good life is, don't fucking hurt other people.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And try to try to mend the fences if it's worth anything. Like, you know I one of my very dear friends had a bout in the hospital where she thought she was gonna die and was on oxygen and and and just got some really bad news. And she was in the hospital thinking, I can't die 'cause Tina will kill me

You know, we hadn't talked in a while. She she was holding a grudge. I didn't even understand completely what was going on because it wasn't like she told me why she was mad or what she was mad for.

But sh she sat in the hospital for like nine days thinking, my god, I need to I need to get in touch with Tina. I need to fix that. Why why did I think I had forever? 'Cause I don't. And I remember her coming to me and telling me that and I'm like, You could have just called right then and there. Like I don't you know i if that if if something was bugging you shit, tell me next time, you know. It works much better when I know what I did.

And and so I we made the rule, you know, that you you can't stay mad or whatever and you fix stuff like that and I'm and I'm I'm good. Like if I s I've said this before, if I die tomorrow, everybody knows I love them. There doesn't need to be any any animosity, any anything, you know, if if they're in my life they were in life my life 'cause I love them.

Yeah, I've

I I have mended I have mended many fences as well. I think that there's that look you you you shouldn't mostly if you've hurt somebody or you think you have. Because here's the other thing too that I've really found out is that you thought you hurt somebody and you didn't.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like it's just it's a very weird thing when they're like, no, I didn't see it that way, but thanks. awesome. Like, super cool. so there is some interesting things when it comes to that where you're like, I thought I was kind of a dick. And they're like, you know, it was life, and blah, blah, blah. You're like, cool. That's fucking awesome. I've done pretty much everybody with the exception of one girlfriend that I can't find. and obviously it's not meant to be, but

Yeah.

Right.

When the internet became very prevalent, I started looking for a lot of different people just to kinda

you know, touch base, say sorry, touch base, say hi, find out what people were doing. the funny thing is, is a lot of the people that we've done this with or found weren't on the internet. Like weird things like in passing or people that like there was a friend of ours that you found like in front of her mom's house.

Mm.

And you were like, Hey, I found this person. They were you know, blah blah blah. And I was like, no way, like

Who is that?

Tina (48:35.482)

You gotta tell me after this.

My my friend from when I was eighteen years old.

yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. You you found them I remember you called me and you're like, hey, guess who I saw? And I was like, fuck, I don't know. And you're like, them and I was like, no way. Like, yeah. We were driving down the street and they were right there. And I was like, that's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ex but I think it's happened to me a lot. We're like

why don't I remember that? But that stuff happens to me a lot, so

When I I worked for a place called the Good Guys, which is like let's say Best Buy. It's the best way of putting it for the people who live out of state. I it was in the the San Francisco where me and you went to high school and junior high. So like people would walk in and I looked very different from when I was younger. I had really long hair at the time and I was much bigger. so I would Yeah.

Yeah.

And you weren't wearing a hat, you weren't wearing a jacket.

And when they people came in, I would be like, yeah, you went to blah blah blah. And they're like, yeah, how do you know? I got to school with you. And they're like, Really? And I go, and then I would either go, I knew you, but you didn't know me. Or I would go, Yeah, I just look way different now. So, you know, it's but look, at the end of the day, you know, have a good life, whatever that is.

Yeah.

a choice. You choose to be happy. You choose to be present. You choose to find the things that make you happy. And really that's it doesn't take much. It's a mindset.

The other thing on top of that is don't don't down people for trying to have their good life.

Yeah. I like to cheer everybody on, do you?

Just, you know, and if you're not cheering them, shut the fuck up. You don't it you know what I mean? Like you don't you don't have to like rah-rah them, but also don't put an anchor around their neck. If you if you don't agree, just go, well, good luck. And be and be okay with that. It's I've seen a lot of people poo-poo on people, and they're I'm like, why? Like.

Yeah, there's that.

Hmm.

Don't. and again, mostly with with my son leaving. I I'm before I probably would have like told him, you probably shouldn't do this and blah blah. Now I'm like, look, you have to be your own person and I'm patting him on the back and going, Good luck. I wish him and I do. I wish him the best. He's a great kid and he's smart. He'll be fine.

I think that I'm more worried about being alone than him leaving.

Mm. I would agree with that actually. Yeah.

You know, yeah. My ex-wife said did something when he was two years old. I don't know what a lot of people call him, but we called the pacifier a binky. I remember coming home and my ex-wife said, There's no more binkies. And I was very, very scared. I was like, What's he gonna do when he goes to sleep?

Yeah.

And she goes, not have a binky. And I was like, whoa, but what if he doesn't want to sleep? And she said, You know that you need his binky more than he does. So I'm doing my best right now to look at life that way. That I'll be fine, he'll be fine. we live in a world of of FaceTime and text messages. I can find out what my son is doing within two minutes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

You know

When when my when my daughter di when my mom died, sorry, and my daughter left, that was fifteen years ago. And everybody's okay.

Good point. Yeah.

Everybody's okay. That that was the worst year of my life. We've talked about that. Anything that could have been taken from me was and I would still, without a doubt, say I've had a really good life. So get ready for what's next, Rob, because it's gonna be kinda cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. And for the people out there, you know, whether it's money, which is cool if that's your thing, if it's time, if it's security, like we talked about the first three, find whatever makes your good life good. It's it's okay to want certain things, it's good to strive for certain things, and it's a good time when you get up in the morning.

Mm-hmm.

Grab that cup of coffee or tea and look at the sunrise or sunset in the afternoon and realize like life isn't as bad as you think.

Yeah. Be happy. We we live in a place where, you know,

Hundred percent.

women are allowed to read and people are allowed to speak their mind and we're allowed to own guns. Like I've read books on people from other countries and the shit they have to go through and I think to myself, man, am I lucky? So I'm gonna take advantage of everything I can because I can. Those people wish they could. I'm not gonna have that thought. I'm gonna be like, Well

That was not the best idea I've ever had, but it makes for a good story, so let's just go with that. Yeah.

And and look, tomorrow, look, the best part about our life, generally, tomorrow's a new day. So if you had a shitty one today, there's always tomorrow. Go to bed, have a good night's sleep, and then the next morning wake up and go, time for a new one.

And remember a lot of it is just your perspective. So if you wanna wake up and find that it's a good day, that'll be your choice. If you wanna find that it's gonna be a bad day, that's what you'll get. It's your choice. So make a better decision. Just be happy.

All right. Well, on that, make sure you keep on listening. Thanks for sharing everybody. It's it's nice to see lots of today there was like eight or nine different countries, not states, countries today, all over the world. All over the world. So thank you if you are in another country and you're listening, or if you're on a VPN and you just want to pretend you're in Brazil, awesome. That's good as well.

Mmm nice. That's crazy.

Mm-hmm.

And I probably know who you are if you're doing that. and look, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. I'm Rob, that's Tina, and we will talk to you in a week. Bye.

Yeah.

See ya.