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52. What will other people think?
Episode 5214th April 2022 • Drink Less; Live Better • Sarah Williamson
00:00:00 00:05:56

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Well, what will they think and how will you know? Are you going to ask them or are you going to guess? Is there another choice you could make here?

Listen in today to find out what I think!

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Transcripts

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink

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less live better dot com. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life. Join

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me here each week to find out how. What will other people think? When I first decided to embark on my alcohol free adventure,

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there were a lot of thoughts running through my head. I became a bit paralyzed and unable to move forward for a while because

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my thoughts were running my feelings and emotions, emotions which were keeping me in that stuck place. Side note here, have

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a little listen to episode 27 if you are in the messy middle One of the reasons I was so stuck was because I became overly

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worried about what other people would think about my choice to stop drinking. I found all sorts of ways to soften the blow

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for friends and family and to change their way of thinking about my choice. I'd say, oh, I'm just not drinking today, or I'm

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taking a break for a month to illustrate that I didn't have a problem with alcohol and to stop them trying to encourage me

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to drink. But, of course, trying to make someone think a certain way is a surefire ride to disappointment town. People are

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going to think what they're going to think, and there's only so so much you can do to influence that and absolutely nothing

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you can do to control it. So maybe just stop trying. And while we're here, in that place where we're talking about what other

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people are thinking, you do know that's none of your business, don't you? I say this with love and kindness. What you think

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of other people is your own private world, and the same is true the other way round. It's really easy to get hung up on explaining

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ourselves from why we've made the alcohol free or sober choice we have to explaining our drink of choice on a night out. Perhaps

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you've got a night out planned either with people you know well or with acquaintances. These might be people who have seen

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you in your drinking heyday or people to whom you are a drinking clean slate. We might think, oh, what will I say if someone

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asks what I'm drinking? What if they ask me why I'm not drinking? What if the waiter says there's no alcohol free beer? Well,

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I'm gonna tell you this. If someone asks what you're drinking, you tell the truth. Tonic water, lime and soda, ginger beer,

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whatever. If someone asks why you're not drinking, you kick them in the shin and say it's none of your business you nosy dib.

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I'm kidding joking joking. You smile sweetly and either tell the truth, I'm taking a break at the moment, I feel better not

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drinking, I don't feel like it tonight. Or you tell a white lie if you have to. I'm on antibiotics. I'm training for a marathon.

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I'm pregnant. With those last 2, be careful. You may need to actually run a marathon or produce a baby at some point. The

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point is we think people are interested, and we think they care, but I'm here to tell you they really aren't. Once they had

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1 or 2 drinks themselves, they won't even notice who else is or isn't drinking around them. People occasionally question us

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when they feel defensive about their own drinking habits, but again, that's on them and not on you. Who cares what other people

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think? Really? Which are the other areas of your life where you think, oh, I wonder what x, y, z, friends, or colleagues will

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make of my choice to be, I don't know, vegetarian, or get a new dog, or paint my sitting room dark green. Never. You just

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never feel the need to explain or justify your choice feeling defensive, would you? I chose the dark green sitting room example

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as that was the colour used in our house when we moved in. Why? Why did no one consult on that? I ask myself. Perhaps they

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should have done. Yes. What will other people think of my choice? The answer is is we have no way of knowing unless we ask

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them. So you can either ask them, or you can be left guessing. But how about this? Don't ask them, and don't guess either.

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It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It really, really matters what you think, and what do you think. I hope it's something

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along the lines of, I'm choosing not to drink because I don't want to or need to. I think better, I feel better, and I behave

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like a more authentic version of myself without it. And that's a goddamn rockstar feeling. Thank you for listening in today.

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Come back again next week, and PS, I believe in you.

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