Divorce, mortgages, and the marital home can become one of the most costly mistakes women make after divorce. In this episode, divorce mediator Lesa Koski is joined by mortgage expert Tami Wollensak to break down what really happens when you try to keep the house after divorce—and why so many women regret the decision later.

Divorce mortgages and keeping the marital home after divorce can derail your financial future. Learn what most women are never told before signing.

Tami shares her own divorce story, the hard lessons she learned by keeping the marital home, and why emotional decisions around housing often lead to long-term financial stress. Together, Lesa and Tami unpack mortgage assumptions, interest rates, lender timelines, hidden costs, and why divorce agreements don’t bind banks.

If you’re divorcing—or advising someone who is—this episode will help you avoid common traps, ask smarter questions, and create a Plan B that protects your future.

This is an essential listen for women navigating divorce, post-divorce decisions, and housing uncertainty.

⏱️ Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction & why this is Lesa’s return to divorce work

(04:30) Tami’s divorce story and the mistake of keeping the marital home

(09:15) Why keeping the house feels safe—but often isn’t

(14:20) Mortgage assumptions explained in plain English

(19:40) Why lenders are not bound by divorce decrees

(24:10) The hidden costs and timelines of mortgage assumptions

(30:00) How HELOCs can completely derail an assumption

(36:30) Why attorneys and mediators must plan beyond the paperwork

(41:15) The importance of Plan B when the house doesn’t sell

(47:00) Today’s mortgage rates and why the market is different now

(52:40) Post-divorce fallout and why issues resurface years later

(58:00) Empowerment, hope, and making informed decisions during divorce

(01:02:30) Final advice for women navigating divorce and home decisions

✅ Key Takeaways

1. Keeping the marital home after divorce often creates financial strain, not stability
2. Mortgage assumptions are complex, slow, and frequently denied
3. Divorce agreements do not bind lenders or banks
4. HELOCs and hidden liabilities can make mortgage assumptions impossible
5. Having a Plan B is critical to avoiding post-divorce litigation and stress

👤 Guest Bio

Tami Wollensak is a mortgage consultant who specializes in working with women navigating divorce and major life transitions. Having lived through divorce herself, Tammy brings both technical expertise and deep empathy to her work. She helps clients understand mortgage options, assumptions, refinancing risks, and long-term financial consequences so they can make informed decisions—not emotional ones—during divorce.

🔗 Resource Links

1. Connect with Tammy Woolens: https://www.tamiwollensak.com/
2. Divorce Mediation & Coaching with Lesa Koski: https://www.lesakoski.com/
3. Related episode: Divorce Planning & Financial Clarity After 40

🏷️ Tags / Keywords

divorce mortgage, keeping the marital home after divorce, divorce and housing decisions, mortgage assumption divorce, divorce financial mistakes, women and divorce finances, divorce mediation, post divorce planning, refinancing after divorce, divorce real estate issues, divorce podcast for women, doing divorce different

Welcome listeners.

2

I can't tell you how excited I am to have

my friend Tammy Woolens with me again.

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Um, I don't, we've like done

a couple projects together and

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Tammy is my inspiration for my,

like my divorcing clients because

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she's been through the hard.

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And she's gonna share her story, and

you might have heard it if you've heard

7

her before on the podcast, but, um.

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I wanna hear her story because

she's done so well through it.

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And she, I think she's one of those

people that looks back and says,

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I'm so thankful that I went through

that, even though it was hard.

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And then we're gonna talk about divorce

and homes and home mortgages because

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that is usually the number one question.

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And Tammy, this is kind of exciting.

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Um, I am doing divorce work again.

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Speaker 2: Oh,

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Speaker: I know.

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I just started, I just, this is kind of

like, you're probably the second person

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I told, I mean, besides my husband.

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Speaker 2: No, no, congratulations.

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But you know what you, you're

so good in this space and people

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are so fortunate to have you.

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So when you're not helping people in that

capacity, it's almost like a disservice.

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'cause you do it so

well and it's so needed.

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Speaker: Honey, that is

so nice of you to say.

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And it was so interesting

because, you know, after that

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little stage one scare Yeah.

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I think I, I just ran away from

divorce 'cause I hate divorce.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: And then just like, I've

really been thinking through things

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and nothing has really felt quite

right since I haven't been doing 'em.

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So I was like trying to do a little

meditation and praying and this thought

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came into my head and the thought

about my oncologist and I'm like.

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She hates cancer

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Speaker 2: for sure.

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Speaker: And she still like cured me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: And like walked me

through and was positive and made

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it so much of a better experience

that I'm like, what the hell?

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These divorcing ladies need

me and I'm not gonna stop.

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And I've just been so excited about

it and it's like a, it's just like

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I'm right back into my calling in my

life and I just took a little break.

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To just learn more ways

to help women, right.

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How to be healthier.

44

And so it's, it's so exciting.

45

So you're kind of my first

like True Divorce podcast, so I

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Speaker 2: love that.

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I love it.

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And yeah, you're right.

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I mean, divorce is a terrible subject and

it's dealing with people at a very dark

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moment of their lives and it can feel

overwhelming and scary, but you know.

51

Part of the thing that drives

me is knowing that I'm really

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giving people amazing guidance and

guidance that I didn't get when

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I went through my divorce and I.

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I actually just wrote an article

about it, um, and posted it because

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it was like I almost choked myself

by making the decision that I did

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about keeping my marital home.

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It was so, you know, common.

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I see it so much and so many people do

it, and they think that they're winning

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something by trying to keep a home.

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Together because it feels like

stability, but it's really not stability.

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It's really built on a sand and you know,

it's such a short term solution and you

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are trying not to make big decisions

as much as you can, so it feels safe.

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Um, and then only come now.

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Everything's written, everything's signed.

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You're sitting in this big

house and you're like, oh my

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gosh, how do I, what do I do?

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How do I do this?

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now you have to do it.

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You have to do the work, you

have to pay for the bills, you

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have to keep the maintenance up,

you have to do all these things.

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And that alone almost

sent me over the edge.

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So,

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Speaker: and Tammy, that's why I love

you, is you went through something hard

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and you used it, you learned from it,

and now you're sharing it with people.

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And I always have my clients

connect with you first.

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When they're thinking about divorce

because it's besides the kids.

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Yeah.

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It's a really, really important factor.

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And a lot of times the kids are kind of

part of the decision, you know, they don't

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wanna sell the home because of the kids.

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Well, do you wanna be

able to afford your kids?

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Yeah.

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You know, being in sports and, and now,

I mean, since we've talked, a lot of

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weird stuff has happened in the mortgage

world, and I know I went through, uh,

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a moment in time where people were.

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Almost like they didn't want to

give up the house because the,

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the mortgage rate was so yes.

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And then they wanted to try to keep

that mortgage or transfer the mortgage

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because a lot of them were finding

that staying in the house was actually

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financially better if they could.

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You know, take over that

mortgage, but you can't always.

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So there's even been a lot more of

a mess thrown into this tornado.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: Can you like, kind of fill

us in on what's happening lately?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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So, yeah, that, that, that's

a really great, so now we have

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some history behind us, right?

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It was almost kind of unprecedented.

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Nobody really understood what

a mortgage assumption was.

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It was this new term that was being thrown

around because people were trying to

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keep their 3% interest rates, and so they

wanted to try to assume their mortgage.

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Well, assumptions have been

around forever, but they weren't.

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Um, typically acted on because, you

know, most of the time rates were pretty

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stable and you could refinance and pay

out the equity and not have this huge

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difference in an interest rate, right?

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So legal professionals and people

could write things up and people could

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carry that out without there being

such a big discrepancy going from

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a 3% to a 6% or an 8% or whatever.

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And so, you know, this term started

getting thrown around and people

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tried to start enacting on it.

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And, um, some lenders.

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Would do it and some wouldn't.

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Well, there's thousands

of lenders I know, right?

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Thousands.

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And you, the lender itself has to have

a specific department to handle this.

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So whether or not they manned that

department and had somebody that

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was skilled to do it, more than

likely they were gonna put like a

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clerk in there to be a box checker.

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Mm-hmm.

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Right.

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I'm a consultant.

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I can, and my job in mortgage lending

is to get people through the process

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of the mortgage, and it's a big loan

and there's a lot of complexities,

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and I try to simplify it and walk

them through it and hold their

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hand and answer their questions.

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As a consultant, just like

you would in a divorce, right?

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Mm-hmm.

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You're helping people.

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You're walking them

through the legal process.

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I'm walking them through

a very large transaction.

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Well, in an assumption

that is not gonna happen.

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It's a box checker that's gonna

be like, do you hear, you know,

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do you make the money check?

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What's your credit?

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Like, check does this happen?

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Check.

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And then people were signing up that that

was gonna happen with no backup plan.

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Right.

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Speaker: Okay.

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So you're saying that people

would be, they'd call and they'd

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be like, okay, I can assume it.

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And they would,

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Speaker 2: that's all they

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Speaker: heard.

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Assume that they could assume it

because that's what they were told.

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Speaker 2: Like, is my loan a receivable?

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Well, it, yes it is.

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Okay, great.

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Thank you.

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And they hang up

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Speaker: and you're

like, warning, warning,

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Speaker 2: warning.

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It's, you know, there's

criteria behind it.

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You have to know what the timeline is.

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That to, to do the assumption.

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You have to know what the,

um, you know, criteria is the

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timeline, the criteria, the cost.

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People don't know that

there's a cost to do this.

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Speaker: Hmm.

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Speaker 2: Well, sometimes it's

thousands of dollars that you're

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having to come to the closing with and

write a check for with a refinance.

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When we refinance people's mortgages,

a lot of times we just roll that

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cost into the new loan, so they're

not having to necessarily come to

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the table and write a check for it.

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They don't really see there's cost.

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There's always costs.

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Well, with a mortgage assumption,

what you're doing is you're just

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keeping the terms of the current loan.

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So if it's, you know, if you owe

250,000, that's all you're doing

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is keeping 250,000, you're not

doing 250,000 plus closing costs.

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So those closing costs have

to be paid for at the table.

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Um, so that can cause a lot of distress.

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People not understanding that,

people that understanding that, like

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these are large institutions like.

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Chase or Bank of America or Wells

Fargo, they sometimes take six

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to eight months to process these.

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You know, if you go through all the

paperwork, you jump through all the hoops.

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I know even in a refinance, a lot of

times people feel like it's a pain.

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But if you're jumping through hoops,

after hoops, after hoops to try to do

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this thing that you agreed to do, only

to find out that it's gonna take six

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to eight months, and then at the end

of that six to eight months, somebody

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tells you, sorry, you don't qualify.

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Speaker: You're in a pickle.

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Speaker 2: You're in a pickle.

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Speaker: Okay, so Tammy, what I'm

hearing is if you are getting divorced.

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And there's a home involved and

you're wondering about it, call Tammy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: The best thing to do and

also to be aware that if you try to

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do this yourself and you call and

you say, well, here's another thing.

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I remember this happening.

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I don't know if this is still happening.

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People would call and say,

is my mortgage assumable?

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And they'd say, no.

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And then sometimes they were

assumable and they just didn't

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have the right department.

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So you call,

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Speaker 2: yes,

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Speaker: you say, can I

please have the assumptions?

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Speaker 2: The assumption department,

you're, first of all, you wanna

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call the servicing department.

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Like,

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Speaker: okay,

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Speaker 2: look at your loan

statement, your mortgage statement.

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And on that mortgage statement it

always says for servicing call.

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Right.

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Speaker: Okay.

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Speaker 2: It always says that for

servicing call and there's a phone

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number, and then so you're gonna call

that number and then you're gonna say,

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do you have a loan assumption department?

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Right.

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And if they say, yes, we do.

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You can either talk to that department and

you can say, I am going through a divorce.

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Is people are afraid to say that

they think that that's gonna like

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trigger, like doing something.

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No, you need to tell them,

I'm going through a divorce.

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Is my loan assumable?

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And then they're gonna say yes or no.

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Speaker: And is that gonna be true?

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Speaker 2: That's the right answer.

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Speaker: That's the right answer.

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Speaker 2: If they say no.

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Then it's then they don't have a

department for it, and they don't have

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the ability to assume, you don't have

the ability to assume it if they say yes,

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but you cannot apply for the mortgage

assumption until you're divorced.

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Because the reason is Lisa, because they

wanna see your settlement agreement.

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You're dividing not only your income,

your assets, your your liabilities.

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You might be liable for support

payments you might be receiving support.

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All of that stuff is all spelled

out in that legal document, right?

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: And so they wanna, they

wanna see that because, um, sometimes

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even there's a, maybe there's a

liability that was in your spouse's

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name that you're gonna take on.

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Like maybe there was a car

loan that your spouse took out.

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Well, you're gonna keep the car,

so you're gonna keep the loan,

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Speaker: right?

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Speaker 2: But it wasn't in your name.

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That's written in your settlement, right?

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Right.

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That you're gonna take, so the lender's

gonna read that document, they're

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gonna read that document, and it's

gonna say, oh, you also have a car

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loan that you're responsible for.

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We are gonna add that

to your liabilities now.

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Even though it's not on

your credit report, right?

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Speaker: Oh, really?

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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And so people don't understand that

the things that they're agreeing to

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in this legal document, such as, I'm

gonna take out a home equity line of

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credit to pay my spouse the equity.

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Taking out a home equity line of credit

could make the assumption deniable,

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Speaker: ooh.

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Okay, so we have to be

really, really careful about,

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Speaker 2: lemme explain why.

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Because people, this is something

that I just talk about a lot

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to my clients because they

think that's the magic bullet.

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I'll just take out a heloc, right?

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And when you're doing an

assumption they are not going

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out and getting a new appraisal.

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Right.

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They're going off of a value of when

they place the financing on the property.

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Okay, so let's use real math.

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Let's say that you bought the house

for 500,000 and now you owe 300,000.

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Okay?

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You owe 300,000, but

now years have gone by.

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Now the house is worth 700,000.

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Right?

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: So, 700,000 being the

current value, you owe 300,000.

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So there's $400,000 of equity, correct?

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: Like when we use that math

in, in the legal world, 700,000 of value.

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300, you owe 400,000 each

spouses gets 200,000, right?

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You're gonna go take a line

of credit out for 200,000.

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To pay your spouse, their portion, the

lender thinks the house is worth 500,000.

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Speaker: Yes,

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Speaker 2: you owe 300.

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You're taking a line of credit for 200.

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You are at max capacity.

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Your loan de what we call loan

devalue loan, meaning the amount

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of money you owe against the value.

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You're now at a hundred percent.

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No lender is gonna let you be at

a hundred percent loan to value.

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It's, we're not back in, you know, 2008.

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Speaker: Right.

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You know, and as I'm listening to this,

it's really alerting me even more.

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I mean, it's pretty imperative

that people have someone like you.

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Isn't it?

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Or I mean, I, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I don't wanna

toot my own horn, but yes.

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I think that it's really important that

they're very clear on what, because a

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legal document, as you know, Lisa, they

can put, you know, I'm gonna turn into

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a unicorn after my divorce is final.

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That doesn't mean you

can turn into a unicorn,

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Speaker: right.

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Speaker 2: You can write a lot

of things and agree to a lot

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of things and they can get you

through the legal process for sure.

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Right.

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You that'll get you through the

divorce and you can write, write

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it and sign it all, but can

you carry it out post-divorce?

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Speaker: You know?

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And I'm just, yeah.

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I mean, how many attorneys are aware

that this can happen because they

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kind of take 'em through the steps.

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Do they come back?

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Do they hear about it or

is it just kind of a mess?

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Speaker 2: Well, people do hear

about it and it causes a lot of

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post-divorce litigation, right?

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Because they didn't write in the

settlement agreement that, you know,

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I'm gonna assume the mortgage or sell.

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That's the other option.

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Speaker: So you have to make

sure that you have a backup plan.

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Speaker 2: Plan B, right?

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Speaker: Plan B.

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I don't think people used to

worry about that so much, Tammy.

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Speaker 2: No they didn't.

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No they didn't.

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And not only a plan B, but sometimes

the timelines that people are

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agreeing to are unreasonable.

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If they're gonna agree, if they're

gonna agree that assumption is gonna

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happen, they need to know what the

timeline of that li, that lender

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is not bound by the divorce decree.

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Right.

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They're not gonna care that you

agreed to 90 days when they are

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gonna take six to eight months.

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So knowing that the timeline, so that

you can set yourself up for success and

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say, Hey, would you be in agreement that

a year, it may take a year to do this.

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Give yourself a buffer.

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Don't.

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If the lender says it's gonna take

six to eight months, don't say it's

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gonna happen in six to eight months.

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'cause then you're gonna be

completely stressed out on month

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six when nothing is happening.

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Speaker: Right.

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Speaker 2: Um.

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You really want to make, be clear

about the timelines and sometimes

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timelines create, um, agreements

that sometimes timelines people

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don't wanna agree to, right?

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For whatever reason.

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Sometimes people don't want to

wait a year for things to happen.

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And so sometimes that does create, um,

a decision that needs to be had because

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the, you can't be in agreement that you're

gonna be on the hook for another year.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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It's so interesting as you're talking

about this, I did do one divorce.

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I helped a, a couple, and

they were selling their home.

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They're, it's going up for sale soon.

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And they're like, yep, we'll

just split the proceeds.

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You know, they had it all

figured out and then we're done.

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And I'm like, well, I think

we better talk again, because

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what about if it doesn't sell?

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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: And so I'm glad that

I was thinking that way because

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that's what we're here for, right?

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Yeah.

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We're here to go, wait a minute.

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So what if it doesn't sell?

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Then what are you gonna do?

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Because right now they're

splitting the cost of the house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: What about if it doesn't

settle and September rolls around?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: Are you gonna

start renting it out?

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What are you gonna do?

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You know, and so we put some language

in there and I'm glad we did.

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Now that I'm talking to you, because I

feel like this is such a crazy market.

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I don't even know what our rate set now.

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Speaker 2: They're at

probably the low sixes.

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Speaker: Okay.

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What were they, how high did they go?

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Speaker 2: The eight, you

know, I had set high sevens.

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Yeah, at one point in time.

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So I think, you know, low sixes, mid

fives, anything in that neighborhood

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that's a reasonable interest rate.

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You know, reasonable is all relative.

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: When you have a 3%

interest rate, that was unprecedented.

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That was like un, you know, people

were flocking to do get those type

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of mortgages, but that was not.

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Um, in the history of

mortgage financing, right?

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It was unprecedented.

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So, um.

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You know, somebody's gonna make money

on mortgage financing and paying 6%

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when interest rates have been in the

history in the double digits before.

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So even in the eight,

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Speaker: I actually remember now,

this is long, like in the eighties

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when my parents sold a house, I

think they sold it and it was 13%.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, probably

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Speaker: when they built a

house and then they refinanced.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: We fortunately, were on

the low end now, but it's like.

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I can't ever, I mean, I wouldn't

have near what I have now.

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Speaker 2: Also though, Lisa, prices of

homes weren't as much as they are now.

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That's true now, right?

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They weren't financing 5, 6, 7, $800,000.

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Finding, you know, so, you

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Speaker: know, it's so crazy.

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Tammy, and I watch my kids now.

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Okay, so the baby's in college.

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One's a medical doctor.

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One guy's got a big job

and his wife is a nurse.

400

And they are like, I mean, my

son's like, are you kidding me?

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This is all I can afford.

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You know, he's like, I

mean, I want a house.

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I

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Speaker 2: know,

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Speaker: and I want a little space.

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And he is just like.

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I can't believe.

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And then, you know, even my, my daughter

and her husband, who's an engineer,

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they're just like, what on earth?

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And it took them, they actually

ended up, so they moved back

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here from Iowa, which is awesome.

412

Mm-hmm.

413

Um, because I'm closer to my

grandson, but they couldn't,

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they didn't sell their home.

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I think I talked to you, I think I

sent you a note about that because

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I'm like, can I assume that?

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What are we gonna do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker: But they, so they did end up

selling it, but not before they got here.

420

So then they had to rent.

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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: And then that's competitive, so

they got like a two year rental agreement

423

and they love where they are, but it's

just a very, very different story than

424

when my husband and I started out.

425

Over 30 years ago, you know?

426

Speaker 2: Yeah.

427

Speaker: I mean we

428

Speaker 2: absolutely,

429

Speaker: we just, you know, we're buying

and selling and it was so different.

430

Speaker 2: It very, it very much is

different and people, you know, just

431

need to empower themselves with the

information and that's really critical

432

to understand that, not to rely on.

433

An attorney not to rely on a mediator,

not to rely on anybody to give you the

434

guidance regarding your future and your

finances, other than the people that

435

can give you that information, right?

436

So we all have our lanes.

437

I don't give legal guidance.

438

I don't tell you what's what

the judge is gonna sign off on.

439

I don't give you any direction on

what you should or shouldn't do.

440

You know, that's not my job,

is not to say what's best and

441

right for you and your family.

442

My job is to give you all of the

information so that you can make the

443

best informed decision for yourself.

444

If it means staying on a mortgage

together, that's an option,

445

but what does that mean to you?

446

Speaker: I know your

447

Speaker 2: spouse, right?

448

Speaker: And I, and I feel like

I'm seeing more people do that.

449

Um, or I was, you know,

450

Speaker 2: they're, they're coming

back around now though, Lisa, because

451

they made agreements to stay a

mortgage for like two years or a year.

452

Right.

453

And now all this, uh, all

those agreements are coming up.

454

It goes fast.

455

You know, you're just, it

does a can down the road.

456

Speaker: Yep.

457

Yeah.

458

I, I remember even having people,

having young children and just

459

saying, till this one's 18.

460

Speaker 2: Yeah.

461

Speaker: You know, or, or whatever.

462

Um, and, and that works.

463

And so I think what you're telling

me is gonna make me better when

464

I'm helping people come to their

agreements to make sure they're

465

connecting with more professionals,

you know what I mean, than just me.

466

Speaker 2: Yeah.

467

Speaker: And that they're aware that

even though you come to this agreement.

468

We don't know for certain

what the bank's going to do.

469

Speaker 2: Right, exactly.

470

Yeah.

471

And if you're, if you're comfortable

with that and now parties know it,

472

then it, it eliminates a lot of,

um, post-divorce litigation or any

473

kind of, even a arguments about it.

474

You know, you wanna

eliminate any possible.

475

Stress over any of these

decisions that were made.

476

Um, you don't wanna go back to

have to deal with court again.

477

You don't wanna have to deal with,

you know, you wanna try to work on

478

co-parenting if there's children

involved and there's like, right.

479

Any other bigger things fish to

fry other than, you know, some

480

of these agreements unraveling.

481

Speaker: Well, and it's so interesting

because I think the first thing

482

I'm doing coming out of the gates.

483

Is working with a couple that I think I

did their, uh, divorce mediation probably

484

three years ago, two or three years ago.

485

And something's unraveling, you

know, now there's attorneys involved.

486

Speaker 2: Yeah.

487

Speaker: But, and something's not

working with one party, I don't think is.

488

Doing what they said they

would do with the home.

489

Yeah.

490

So, you know, it'll be

interesting to see what that is.

491

And so this is going to enlighten me too.

492

Um, but I have a feeling that's gonna be a

bigger part of my post-divorce mediations.

493

Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.

494

Speaker: Sadly.

495

Speaker 2: I mean, it is unfortunate, the

whole thing's really unfortunate, but.

496

People need to be aware.

497

I, you know, somebody needs to start a

business about the education of marriage.

498

Speaker: Oh,

499

Speaker 2: you know, what

does it mean to get married?

500

People think that it's

some grand gesture of.

501

Love, which it is.

502

Right?

503

Right, right.

504

But it also, you also are

involving your, the state.

505

It's you, your spouse, and the state

laws that you're getting married in.

506

And you need to understand

what that means for you.

507

It's not, um, it's, it, you know, there's

a lot of legality around marriage.

508

They make it sound like you're gonna,

you know, spend all this money on a

509

wedding, you're gonna walk down the aisle.

510

It's gonna be all bliss.

511

And then.

512

You know, nobody talks about the

financial impact of you're building

513

basically like a business with somebody.

514

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

515

Speaker 2: Your business partner can sit

on the couch and eat bon bonds all day.

516

If you choose.

517

You, you signed up to be

business partners with them.

518

Yep.

519

And you are going out and you're

building a, a balance sheet.

520

You're building a financial.

521

Bucket of assets that are growing and

doing things and everybody's trying to

522

do their part, and some people aren't

doing their part and other peoples are

523

going outside the law or outside the

rules of what you guys agreed to and.

524

There's just so many nuances with that.

525

Speaker: There are so many,

and that is one thing that I've

526

found too with a lot of couples.

527

They're like, what?

528

But this is mine.

529

This is my money.

530

No, it's not

531

Speaker 2: my 401k,

532

Speaker: my, this,

533

Speaker 2: my

534

Speaker: that.

535

It's really hard.

536

Even, I mean, I think they get it.

537

But it's like, well, no, can't,

they don't wanna know, do this.

538

They don't wanna, we don't have to.

539

Yeah.

540

And they don't wanna tell the court.

541

I'm like, oh, you gotta put it

on the spreadsheet, you know?

542

Speaker 2: Right.

543

It's

544

Speaker: your assets, so.

545

Speaker 2: Right.

546

Speaker: But I, I don't wanna,

okay, so we're getting towards

547

the end of our conversation.

548

Yeah.

549

And I, I do not want to be.

550

All gloom and doom.

551

I, yeah.

552

'cause this podcast is to help

people so that they're not as afraid.

553

Yeah.

554

Right.

555

Because it's a scary time.

556

And I don't want you to be afraid.

557

I want you to use this as

a information gathering.

558

Right.

559

And so just be sure.

560

That you really look into the home

and that you ask the, the right

561

questions and that you know that

what the criteria is If you're

562

looking into an assumption, and yay.

563

If you can do one.

564

If you want one, but then

dig a little bit deeper.

565

Call Tammy, get that figured out.

566

Speaker 2: Plan

567

Speaker: B.

568

Um, but I

569

Speaker 2: plan B.

570

Plan B too.

571

Speaker: Yeah, plan and have a plan B.

572

Always have a plan B.

573

But I also wanna say that you have been

through this and you ha made it out.

574

You are.

575

So I think you're grateful for what you

went through and I think you've had a

576

tremendous amount of growth and I think

that you can make, feel people feel

577

better just by the life you're living.

578

Tammy don't, I mean, I just feel like that

579

Speaker 2: that's so sweet of you

to say and Yes, I did and I do

580

try to tell my clients, you know,

I, it's not a transaction to me.

581

It really is, you know, helping people.

582

Feel that there's hope and that they

can hit the reset button and that they

583

can start again, and they're gonna be

okay and that things are gonna work

584

out and they're making good decisions.

585

And um, and you know, I get close

to, a lot of times I get close to

586

my clients and I feel like they,

you know, are, are in a, in a.

587

That life transition is really dark.

588

It's like a death, right?

589

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

590

Speaker 2: They have to grieve it.

591

They have to go through a process,

and when you're going through

592

it, it's a really foggy time.

593

So I really do try to help my

clients feel supported with their

594

decisions, and no question is a

bad question, and sometimes you've.

595

They feel a lot of shame because they

weren't involved in the finances, right?

596

They weren't, didn't know.

597

They didn't know what they were signing.

598

They didn't know, you know,

what any of this meant.

599

And a mortgage is a really big transaction

and it comes with a lot of compliance

600

and complexities along the way.

601

And so.

602

You know, having somebody that

can stand by you, by your side.

603

And I get text messages at night and

stuff like that, and I'm like, it's okay.

604

It's all right.

605

We're gonna figure it out, you know,

and we're gonna get through this

606

and you just have to do X, Y, and Z.

607

Now let's just take one step at a time.

608

Speaker: Yep.

609

Speaker 2: Um, but anyways, it's

very, it's very meaningful to me,

610

so I appreciate you saying that.

611

And I do feel like this

is what I went through.

612

Helps me understand what that

feels like, um, so that I can have

613

empathy to my client's situation.

614

Yeah, because I don't think that

if they go to a normal, normal

615

mortgage broker, right, somebody

doesn't focus on this lane.

616

They're looking at it

like it's a transaction.

617

What's wrong with you?

618

You need to sign these documents.

619

Right?

620

You need to, you know, like,

I need all this documentation.

621

I had a woman.

622

That I'm doing a loan for Now,

you know, she's got four kids.

623

She is, um, trying to do all

this stuff and she doesn't

624

work with computers every day.

625

You know, we're a technology

based institution.

626

We need things scanned and documented

and uploaded to our secure portal.

627

Just couldn't do it.

628

Her computer was broken, blah, blah, blah.

629

She, we.

630

Printed the documents

I drove to her house.

631

Got 'em.

632

Now I can't always, 'cause

I do national, but you know,

633

look, you know, it was

like, she's like, really?

634

What'd you do that?

635

I'm like, yes, just print 'em.

636

Leave them at the front

desk of your office.

637

I'll come get 'em.

638

I mean, we do that for each other because

639

Speaker: Right.

640

Speaker 2: Sometimes that's

the right thing to do.

641

Speaker: Yes.

642

Amen.

643

And I think too, they can see you made it

through this and you're doing even better.

644

So I just think that hope in the middle

of all that, you know what I mean?

645

When you see somebody who

survived something that you're

646

going through, thriving.

647

It's always brings you hope and it

always makes you feel better and

648

that is what you wanna clinging to.

649

And I think that is another reason

that you're fabulous at your job.

650

Not just because you're got this, you

know, math smarts and the mortgage smarts.

651

I think that's a big part of it too.

652

Speaker 2: Yeah.

653

So, and it's so great to have, um.

654

Friends and professionals like you that

we can work together and collaborate

655

and help people through this process.

656

So I'm really excited that you're back

at what your, what you do so well,

657

and thank you for having me talk about

this because I, you know, we're both

658

really passionate about making sure

that people are going through this in

659

the best possible manner that they can.

660

Speaker: Amen.

661

Amen.

662

Tammy, thank you so much for your

time and thank you for being here.

663

Of

664

Speaker 2: course.