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E 340: Tammy's Take #30;The 5 Reasons Your Nervous System Won't Let You Rest
Episode 3404th July 2026 • Adult Child of Dysfunction • Tammy Vincent
00:00:00 00:10:57

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Have you ever been completely exhausted... but the moment your head hits the pillow, your mind comes alive?

Maybe you replay conversations from the day. Maybe you worry about tomorrow. Maybe you wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and can't get back to sleep.

What if the problem isn't that you can't sleep?

What if your nervous system simply doesn't feel safe enough to rest?

In this episode of Tammy's Takes, Tammy Vincent shares one of the biggest lessons from her recent conversation with sleep expert Tim Thomas: many sleep struggles aren't just about sleep—they're about a nervous system that's been living in survival mode for years.

Drawing from her work as a trauma-informed coach, Tammy explains how childhood experiences, chronic stress, and unresolved emotional patterns can keep the body hypervigilant long after the danger has passed.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why being exhausted doesn't always mean you'll sleep well

• The surprising reason so many people wake up between 2:00 and 4:00 AM

• Five signs your nervous system may be preventing deep, restorative sleep

• The connection between trauma, anxiety, hypervigilance, and insomnia

• Why your body isn't working against you—it's trying to protect you

• Simple ways to begin creating safety in your body before bedtime

If you've been struggling with anxiety, emotional overwhelm, racing thoughts, or feeling like you're always "on," this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface and why healing starts with your nervous system—not self-criticism.

Your body isn't broken.

It simply learned how to survive.

And it can learn how to rest again.

Complimentary Clarity & Calm Call

If this episode resonated with you and you're wondering whether your nervous system is still living in survival mode, I'd love to help.

Schedule a complimentary Clarity & Calm Call, where we'll explore the patterns that may be keeping you stuck and create practical steps toward greater emotional regulation, healthier relationships, and lasting healing.

👉 Book your complimentary call here:

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Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

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As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.

My holistic toolbox includes nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, nutritional support, and natural healing strategies,

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Transcripts

Speaker:

Welcome back to Tammi's Takes,

where we take powerful conversations

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with our guests and turn them

into practical strategies that

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you can use right here, right now.

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So today, I wanna go back to my

episode yesterday, where we talked

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with Tim Thomas, the creator of the

Breathwork in Bed app, and I wanna talk

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about something that is so near and

dear to my heart, and that is sleep.

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Because something stuck with me, and

we talked a lot about different things.

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Not only is it an amazing episode,

but he also gives 28 days free of his

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app, Breathwork in Bed, to get back

into the habit of learning how to put

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yourself back to sleep and having a

restful night of sleep in general.

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So just for that reason alone,

it would be worth it to jump back

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one episode and listen to it.

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Something we talked about, and something

that I've been talking to my clients

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a lot about lately, is the fact that

people think they have a sleep problem.

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I don't think the problem

is actually about sleep.

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I think that the problem is that they have

a nervous system problem that's showing up

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at bedtime, because here's what happens.

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, The truth is, your body

doesn't care what time it is.

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It cares whether or not it feels safe.

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So if your nervous system believes

you're in danger, even subconsciously,

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even at night, it doesn't matter when,

it doesn't want you sleeping deeply.

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Think about that for a minute.

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It wants you ready.

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It wants you on high alert.

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It wants you ready to protect yourself,

ready to fight, flight, flee, . And if you

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grew up in dysfunction, which many, many,

many of you did, and you grew up walking

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on eggshells, You understand that you had

to stay ready and braced and ready to go.

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So your nervous system becomes so good

at one thing, and that is staying alert.

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The problem is, nobody ever taught

your nervous system how to stop that.

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So today, what I wanna do is I wanna

talk about five signs that it's your

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nervous system and not your mattress

that's keeping you awake at night.

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So number one, you feel exhausted

all day, but suddenly you are wide

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awake when your head hits the pillow.

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It's not laziness.

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It's hypervigilance.

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When the distractions of the day

finally stop, that's when your brain

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starts scanning, and it is used

to scanning for dangerous things.

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It's when you start thinking,

it's when you start planning,

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it's when you start protecting.

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So you might lay down completely and

totally exhausted, but all of a sudden

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your head hits the pillow, and you're

wide awake, and your mind is racing.

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Number two, you wake up between

2:00 and 4:00 in the morning.

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This is a big one.

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Now, you've heard me also with the

health aspect and the physiological

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aspect of why we do this, explain

a couple different things.

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One is that it's a natural cortisol

spike at that time of the night.

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So if your cortisol spikes, and

you wake up, and you're anxious

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anyway, and you're on high alert

anyway, your mind is going to start

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racing, and you start that spiral.

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That's one thing.

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The other thing is a blood sugar drop.

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So our bodies do different things

at different times of the day,

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different times of the evening.

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A lot of times when we go to bed,

we've now hit that four to six

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hours of of not having eaten, and

in that you get a blood sugar drop.

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When you get that blood sugar drop,

a lot of times that will wake you up,

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and you feel panicky, a little shaky.

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We can talk more about that,

and please hit me up, ask some

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questions about how to help that.

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one of the biggest things you can do is

have protein before bedtime, a little bit

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of natural peanut butter or a hard-boiled

egg or something, some little snack at

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night, some nuts, something that will

give you some protein and stabilize that

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blood sugar drop a little bit so it's not

so drastic in the middle of the night.

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But what I wanna talk about is the

waking up at 2:00 and 4:00 in the

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morning where you feel like your

heart is racing, and I don't believe

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it's actually your heart racing.

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I believe it's your mind racing

because your body is waking up

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shocked, hypervigilant, ready to go,

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what it's saying is, "Am I

finally safe enough to relax?"

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And if you are not feeling safe

enough in your nervous system and

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in every single cell in your body,

you're going to wake back up.

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Number three, you sleep,

but you never feel rested.

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Eight hours, nine hours, 10 hours, it

doesn't matter because deep restorative

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sleep happens when your nervous

system feels safe enough to let go.

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It needs to stop guarding.

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It needs to stop bracing, because that is

the only time then your body can actually

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do what it's meant to do in the middle

of the night, which is rest and digest,

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and restore and regenerate and heal.

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Those are the things you're supposed

to be doing in the middle of the night.

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But if your nervous system is always

on guard, you are literally doing

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things in the middle of the night

that your body should not be doing.

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It's pumping out cortisol, it's

pumping out adrenaline, it's braced,

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and it's not healing your body.

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Number four, you wake up anxious.

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So how many of you, and please tell

me, put in the comments or reach

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out to me if this happens to you.

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Before anything ever happens, before

you do anything, the minute you open

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your eyes, you feel something's wrong.

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You feel anxious.

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But really, if you think

about it, nothing's wrong.

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There's no emergency, there's no crises,

nothing bad is about to happen, but your

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body wakes up already feeling like the day

is going to be hard Guys, this is not your

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fault, and it's not a personality flaw.

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What it is, it's your

body still in survival.

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It's in survival wiring, I

want you to do something for me

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tomorrow morning when you wake up.

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I want you to wake up in the morning,

and the first thing I want you to

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do is scan your body and tell me if

you feel tension somewhere, in your

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neck, in your head, in your jaw,

in your stomach, an uneasy feeling.

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If you do, that is survival wiring,

and we can work through that together.

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So number five, you don't know

how to relax without feeling

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guilty, and this is a big one.

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This hits so many people that grew

up in those dysfunctional households.

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When you finally sit down, slow down,

lay down, whatever it is, your brain

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says, "I should be doing something."

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So what happens?

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. You feel guilty about resting.

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You feel guilty about

taking care of yourself.

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It's almost uncomfortable really

because somewhere along the way,

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productivity became your safety,

and stillness, it still feels kinda

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unfamiliar, and it feels uneasy.

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So you lay down at night, and

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your mind starts going.

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You start thinking about 1,000 things you

should be doing or could be doing, and.

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We're not gonna should've on

ourselves, as I like to say.

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So what do we like to do?

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This is where I absolutely

love Tim's message.

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He reminded us that one of the

most powerful tools that we have

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with us is with us every single

moment, and that is our breath.

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Because breath isn't just about oxygen.

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It's about communication.

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Every single breath is telling

your nervous system something.

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When you breathe fast and

quick, it's telling your

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nervous system, "We're not safe.

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we're not okay."

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But when you take a deep breath and

you breathe in and you expand that

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belly and calm yourself, you're telling

your nervous system, "We're okay.

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We made it.

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We're safe."

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Those are the things you wanna be telling

your nervous system because over time,

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your body begins to believe that story.

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I always tell my clients, Healing

is not about convincing your mind.

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Healing is about reassuring your body."

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Your body has been protecting you for

so many years, sometimes even decades.

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So instead of getting frustrated

with it, what if you thanked it?

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instead of saying, "Why can't I sleep?"

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And getting angry, you ask

yourself, "What does my nervous

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system need from me tonight?"

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That question, that one little question

changes everything, because your

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body isn't working against you, it's

working for you, but it's working

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only with the strategies it learned.

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So we have to unlearn these, and

the beautiful part is we can.

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It can learn new strategies, it

can learn new habits, it can learn

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new ways of calming itself down.

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So if today's episode resonated with

you, I have two invitations today.

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First, go listen to the full conversation

with Tim Thomas on yesterday's episode.

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Go grab the 28 days of the free

app called Breathwork In Bed.

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I've been doing it.

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It is absolutely amazing.

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I love it.

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I suggest it to anybody, and

you can get a full 28 free days.

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And then second, if you're realizing

that your sleep struggles, your

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anxiety, your emotional highs and

lows, and constant feeling of just

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being on, anxious, irritable, might

actually be rooted in nervous system

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dysregulation, I would love to help you.

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I offer a free clarity and

calm call, where what we do

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is we explore those patterns.

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and we create a personalized path

towards feeling calmer, sleeping

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better, and trusting yourself again.

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So please, if you're feeling any of these

things or this resonated with you, book

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your free call using the link in the show

notes, and I would love to help you out.

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So remember, your body isn't

broken, it's just protecting you.

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Now it's time to teach it that

it's finally safe to rest.

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So until next time, be kind to

yourself and know that your healing

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is worth it and you are worth it.

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So please, I love you guys and

I will see you back next week.

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Please reach out if

you have any questions.

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Have a blessed day.

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