On this episode, we’re talking about when you feel like a failure as a foster parent and how to manage through that.
Foster marriages opened their heart and home to helping out children in need, had good intentions, perhaps a lot of expectations of how everything would go, and now reality is setting in and you’re not handling things well at all
Types of situations when foster parents often feel like a failure:
Responses to behavior
Feeling a lack of bond and blaming yourself
Feeling like a failure to your bio-kids
Feeling like a failure in your marriage and you don’t have anything left to give
Feeling like they’re failing God or as a Christian
What’s happening at a deeper level
Importance of understanding your "Root System"
Thinking/Lies and emotions of fear, guilt and shame, and stress
Why personality styles happen
The risks of not managing yourself well:
Living in the guilt/shame and stress of it and constantly either feeling out of control or becoming very submissive
Beating yourself up / negative self talk
Feeling out of control and reacting to everyone that way
Seeking worth in other ways or in very unhealthy ways
Lots of conflict in your marriage that creates disunity
Living in disappointment with each other
How to move forward - both immediate and longer term solutions
Of each other
Of your child
Taking thoughts captive (this is a practice that’s long-term though)
Discussing struggles with each other
If that’s uncomfortable, start with little things so you practice becoming more vulnerable
Responding well to each other
Holding each other accountable and offering help
Failure is inevitable. It’s how we respond that is most important.
If you enjoy this podcast, rate and review it wherever you listen. It helps other fostering families find it.
And follow us on Facebook at Fostering Marriage.
Mentioned in this episode:
Sign up for free conversation guides.
Turn listening into connection by signing up for free conversation guides to accompany every episode of the Fostering Marriage podcast.