🚫💔 Let's break the myth!

The Law of Attraction, suggesting we 'attract the same energy,' can be toxic for healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse. Healing isn't about blame, it's about empowerment and understanding. 💪💕

In this episode I'll explain why and how this can be so detrimental to your healing journey.

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#HealingJourney #NoToxicBlame #EmpowermentOverAttraction

welcome to the impact of the rising podcast, where we are healing

from narcissistic abuse, with human design, taro, and astrology.

I'm your host, Raven, Scott.

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the toxic myth of the law of attraction and healing from

narcissistic and emotional abuse.

You know, we all know the journey to healing from narcissistic and emotional

abuse is a complex and challenging one.

Many survivors seek solace and guidance in various approaches, including

psychological therapy, support groups, and self-help techniques and spirituality.

One popular concept that has gained traction in the recent years is the law

of attraction, which suggests that we attract similar energies to our lives.

And I've had a couple guests speak on this throughout the podcast.

When I'm in the conversation with them, it sounds good, but if I really

start to analyze it and think about outside of my own situation and other

people's situations where they were born into abuse, it just doesn't work.

It just doesn't seem to line up.

It doesn't quite make sense.

So while this concept can be empowering in some context, It can be highly detrimental

when you yourself are listening and trying to find answers to the question of why

we all ask, why did this happen to me?

And the law of attraction can take you down a very dark and guilt ridden road

when you're trying to heal from abuse.

So part of our episode today is exploring why the law of

attraction can be a toxic concept.

For you dear Empath, as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, of emotional abuse,

of an alcoholic parent of oppression, living in religious oppression, uh, male

dominant society oppression, and more.

So understanding the law of attraction, let's just recap and make sure that

we have the correct definition.

The law of attraction is a belief that the energy that you emit into the universe

attracts similar energy back to you.

It's often summarized by the adage like attracts like.

This concept has gained popularity through the books like The Secret and has

been embraced by those seeking personal development and positive life changes.

The idea is that by focusing on positive thoughts and emotions, you can manifest

the outcomes you desire, but the problem is this isn't always the case.

You can't manifest yourself out of.

Horrible parents, you know, abusive parents.

You can't manifest yourself out of

. Being prey of the predators of the dark entities.

That is the narcissist or, yeah, abusive people.

And while the law of attraction, it can be motivating and uplifting in

various scenarios, it seems like it's.

The law for the privilege its application in the context of healing from

narcissistic abuse is deeply problematic.

So let's explore /why.

First of all, it is victim blaming.

One of the key concerns when applying law of attraction to abuse healing is

the potential for the victim blaming.

You'll automatically think, oh, well, I did something wrong and I attracted.

They're bad energy.

That must mean I have bad energy deep down in the root of my shadow.

It's like, no, you could be this bright, open-hearted, loving, light healer, and

the moth is being attracted to the flame.

It could be just as simple as that.

Sometimes we're surging for such a deep answer to our why that we

forget and we completely ignore the real simplicity in front of us.

And sometimes we don't always know the real answer.

That's not actually our quest here is to know the why.

Our quest is to heal and tap into our amazing energy.

And this law of attractions suggests that survivors.

Attracted their abusers due to their own negative energy.

And this implication is really harmful.

And for some reason you start to feel like you're responsible

for the abuse that you endured.

But maybe you just were born into a shitty situation.

Maybe you just were too naive and open-hearted and didn't realize

the wolf and the sheep's clothing.

That's it.

As simple as that.

Doesn't need to be any more complicated, any deeper.

It's not gonna erase the past.

Once you find that answer, trust me, I've tried so many different avenues of trying

to find the answer of why, and you know, the truth will always set you free, but

that that requires time and that requires surrender and going, you know what?

I don't know why.

I just know it happened and now I get to choose to rise up and move forward.

But this perspective, If you're stuck in it.

This is, I think, why so many times there's this victim stuck cycle.

Is it completely disregards the manipulative tactics

employed by the narcissist?

I mean, you are not manipulative.

Therefore, I.

You're not attracting manipulative, but the law of attraction states

that, so this is almost like a bit of the narcissist ploy.

You know, when they make you feel like you're the narcissist, even

though you're not, and you're questioning, am I the narcissist?

The law of attraction can do the same thing for you on your healing

journey, and it's really, really toxic and you, you didn't attract.

Their energy because you have bad energy, they're just predators and they

know that they can see weakness, right?

They can smell blood a mile away, and you potentially had some

weak chinks in your armor, either because you were not conscious or

mindful because you have wounds.

Just like everyone has wounds.

Uh, and they're just, it.

It minimizes the abuser's responsibility, which is number two.

When we're like, oh, well, I had something wrong inside of me.

I did something wrong.

I was weak.

Like I know.

I'm guilty of thinking that in my own healing process, and it's placing

the focus on you, the survivor's energy to shift the attention

away from the abuser's actions and behavior when it simply is just no.

They did not take responsibility.

They made the wrong choice.

They went down their dark path.

They were the predator.

And all of a sudden we're all paying attention to what we can do.

Yes, it's what we can control, but we're not putting up certain boundaries

or consequences and holding as a community, as a society, holding

the abusers actions responsible.

For instance, I have a great tiny example of how this can

microaggression happen in childhood.

You can have a child, a girl, Who is being chased by boys at school?

You know the grade level, school level, and you know, you tell the girl, okay,

well stop running, and then the girl will say, well, if I stop running, then they

like still taunt me and hang out around me and like make weird faces at me.

That doesn't really stop them from sending bad, weird, creepy vibes to you that's

just now making you surrounded by them.

And why, you know, come to the, you know, go tell the teacher why is the

teacher not scolding and reprimanding the boys and their behavior?

Why is it always whoever is complaining and telling the teacher that they

have to do something like this?

This is the micro stuff that really drives me crazy.

That then just keeps on going, keeps on shifting and taking the energy

away from the actual bad predators all the way up into adulthood.

Emotional abuse is about power.

It's about control.

It's about being able to make you feel something, right that's control and not

about the survivor's perceived energy.

So blaming survivors for their abuse, perpetrates a harmful

cycle that allows abusers to avoid accountability and for everybody.

Looking at the situation to avoid accountability, I just saw on Netflix

there's , the depth and the herd trial up.

It's a documentary.

I'm so excited to watch it.

It's gonna be fascinating.

I have yet to still conclude which person was the Predator

for the Prey in that scenario.

Um, I really, it was, it just felt so triggering to me.

I wasn't really into it when it was actively.

On because I just like, I don't know.

I can't pick a side.

I can't do this.

Like, I can't even handle this crazy mess that is out here on full display.

But it, it's, it's, it is what it is.

And this is a great example of what happens when we minimize /responsibility.

And number three, this law of attraction is the invalidation of trauma.

It invalidates your trauma If you're like, well, I, I.

I attracted this, so I deserve it, right?

It's my fault.

No survivors.

You impasse of narcissistic abuse and emotional abuse.

You often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self blame, number

one from your automatic thoughts.

Number three, from the actual perpetrator telling you number three, from society

who isn't really, you know, holding accountable these perpetrators.

And then now you've got the spiritual world saying, oh, well you attracted it.

So now you have all the shame and guilt.

He's like, how do you heal from that?

You can't heal when you're always feeling guilty because now the

source that you're searching for or looking to is giving you blame.

And it's propagating this idea that your energy attracted the abuse and

it really does worsen the feelings 'cause you already feel so confused

and just isolated and awful.

So in validating the real trauma that you've experienced, Is definitely one

of the biggest problems with the law of attraction, speaking to this energy.

Number four.

There are so many complex dynamics of abuse.

Emotional abuse is characterized by intricate manipulation tactics.

Employed by the abuser, making it nearly impossible for the survivor to recognize

the toxicity until it's too late.

So blaming the survivors for attracting this type of predator and abuse, it

oversimplifies this complex dynamic and it really isn't the truth.

It isn't.

You didn't attract the predator 'cause you're a predator.

Like I've said in the past, in the podcast, maybe the attraction was

just that you were looked like a vulnerable, weak lamb, and the wolf was

ready to strike, and or, and or, yes.

Both of those, you were strong, bright light, and the moth who is weak and

insecure was attracted to your flame.

I would say there's, those are just two out of the millions of different

complex scenarios of why different energy and personality dynamics

/attract so many different complexities.

But I do know that there is a common thread with most all of you who I've

drawn your chart is that you, almost all of you, I'm not gonna say all,

'cause there's a percentage of you that do not have an open will center, but

almost all, maybe I'll call it 90%.

I'll need to pull the data 90% ish of you have an open will center just like myself.

And so you're amplifying the other person's will subconsciously.

This is a complex dynamic of interacting on the energetic level.

Then you also may have an open solar plexus, the emotional area of

your chart that you are amplifying.

So when it's open, you are more vulnerable to being conditioned

to be swindled, to be, , Persuaded jump on someone else's bandwagon.

And that emotional solar plexus, you're just more of an empath.

You are amplifying and feeling what the other person feels,

and you don't like the feeling.

So you'll do anything that you can, even if it's a toxic behavior

yourself, you know, not holding to your boundaries and people pleasing.

You'll do, you'll do all that to get it out of your

energetic body, to not feel it.

So there's so many other complex dynamics, regardless of just the basic

predator prey to the emotional abuse tactics, the manipulation, the neglect,

the lies, the gaslighting, all of that on top of the energetic play, right?

And then you're like, then you're sucked in.

You're into deep and now it's too late and you're really.

Wrapped in this relationship.

Of course you can get out of it, but it's a lot more complex

and difficult to get out.

And the last one of how the law of attraction can be toxic for you,

healing from narcissistic abuse is the disempowerment and the stigma.

So applying the law of attraction to healing from abuse can create

a sense of disempowerment for you because it suggests that you have

the power to control your abuse experience through your thoughts, right?

Thoughts become things that's true.

So it doesn't quite line up if you're attracting like energy to

like energy, that means that your.

Thinking about being abused?

No.

Like in your, in the subconscious depth of your mind?

No.

Still probably not.

It just is what it is.

And so this stigma of your thoughts, control, or that you can control your

experiences through your thoughts, it's I think just too simple.

Like it's a way more complex.

We can't control everything, and that's a bit of a narcissistic type of

idea that you can control everything, that you can control your thoughts.

Therefore, that controls your future.

There's so much more at play that we don't know, right?

That almost takes away the faith element, that takes away the

complexity of the unknown of the future and so many other dynamics.

And you can't control other people.

So other people are gonna do unto you.

Whatever the hell they wanna do.

But if you can speak up and draw your boundaries and you teach people

how to treat you, and if that means that they don't like it and they

discard you, then that's their fault.

That is not your fault.

That is not something that you couldn't control and you failed.

Like the outcome was never going to be a happy ending with that person.

The outcome was always going to be, they don't like the healthy dynamics of it.

Boundary.

They don't like to introspect and take responsibility, so

therefore , you can't control them.

So this law of attraction is saying that you can control the abuse

experiences through your thoughts.

It's BSS because you can't control how the other person is treating you.

You can only control what you tolerate in your life.

And it's just so far from reality.

So it's just another like spiritual bypassing type of like, Victim

blaming lingo, which is really dangerous and it's not okay.

You can form your reality by your choices, but not always by your thoughts.

And you never, even on the subconscious level, whatever, choose to form

a reality that you're stuck in an abusive relationship that just

happened because Earth other person did not have good intentions and.

Is weak, insecure is an abuser, is a predator, just is what it is.

And so again, moreover, it's stigmatizing you as a survivor is stigmatizing us,

making us feel as though we somehow invited the abuse into our lives.

And it's just not true.

So be careful with the information you're receiving out there on

the social media, especially your YouTube about the law of attraction.

Using it for good and positivity and healing, but not allowing it to hurt

you and make you feel more guilty.

Shame and blame because healing from narcissistic abuse, especially

emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, it requires a compassionate.

And a holistic approach that centers around self-care boundaries, your

own finding, your own strength, your inner strength and truth

therapy, support and education.

And you can find that help through therapy with a therapist in the privacy

of your own home through our sponsor.

Better help.com.

The link is in the show notes because survivors, we need to understand that.

We are not responsible for the abuse that we endured and that our healing

is not tied to the law of attraction.

The law of attraction is just another concept, idea, and or tool to help your

mind kind of get out of the victim mode possibly, depending on how far deep

in the rabbit hole, how toxic you get.

It's supposed to help attract abundance and love and light.

, but it, it's just such a slippery slope.

But then it's like, but on the other hand, if you apply the same things, then it's

also attracting darkness and abuse and all this stuff, which just isn't true.

So maybe it's not the law of attraction that's bringing you love and abundance.

Maybe it's just you and your light and your choices.

/So while the law of attraction can be a valuable concept in certain

life contexts, Applying it to healing from narcissistic abuse and

emotional abuse, I think personally is counterproductive and harmful survivors.

We need dear empaths to be empowered to recognize the manipulation tactics

used by the abusers and to seek support without shouldering unwarranted blame by

dismantling the toxic myth that survivors attract abuse through our own energy.

We can pave the way forward for a more empathic, inclusive,

and effective healing journey.

/ Thank you so much for investing in yourself today to become

more empowered and listening.

And tuning into your own inner voice.

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