For their fourth episode, Tog and Parker record from the muddy shores of Lake Corncrop, sponsored by Wunder Wurst Kale Dogs.

Their attempt to tackle this week's theme "corporate jargon" is quickly derailed by Parker getting stuck in surprisingly warm magma-like mud, attempting to reclaim a spilled macchiato, and both hosts face a ritualistic attack by the lake's venomous bully geese.

Parker receives another call from his mother, and this episode features a brand new bumper made by their salty producer, Jen.

============

Support this Show

Your support will help this show continue. Funds go towards hosting and music licensing for this show and others on StereoForest. This show is produced by an independent artist directly affected by the state of the industry, and StereoForest does not have any funding or additional support.

If you find value in these shows, please consider supporting them with a one time donation at https://stereoforest.com/tip

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Credits, contact, and more info

This comedy audio drama / audio fiction series was created, edited, directed, and produced by Jen deHaan. Some elements of this show are scripted, but most of it is improvised by the cast.

WATCH "PRODUCER JEN'S" VIDEOS between each episode for bonus content! Find them on YouTube Shorts here, Instagram, TikTok, or Bluesky.

You can also find the character Tog Chesterfield in the completed audio drama Unf*ck Your Life: An Audio Drama wherever you find podcasts.

Cast (season one):

• Jen deHaan as Tog Chesterfield, "herself", Maureen Faucet-Clooder, Mrs. Spoon, and additional voices
• Adam as Parker Spoon

Any guests noted in show notes above.

=============================

Production and Links

Artwork, logo, and graphics: Jen deHaan.

Transcript: For each episode on their page on this show's page at StereoForest here.

More show info/contact: stereoforest.com/grack

Support the show (one time tip): stereoforest.com/tip

Review this show: On Podchaser here podchaser.com/grackpublicaccess

Comedy and audio fiction newsletter: StereoForest.com/subscribe

Follow on social media: YouTube, Bluesky, TikTok

This podcast is a StereoForest production. Made and produced in British Columbia, Canada.

WEBVTT

:: 00:00

[MUSIC PLAYING]

:: 00:03

You're listening to "Grack Public Access" on 101.7 FM,

:: 00:17

The Grack in Grackleton.

:: 00:20

And I'm Tog Chesterfield, and I'm here with my co-host,

:: 00:25

Parker Spoon.

:: 00:26

Hi, Parker.

:: 00:27

Hi.

:: 00:28

Good to see you today in episode four.

:: 00:32

This is our fourth episode of "Grack Public Access."

:: 00:35

And we have a sponsor and a location as well.

:: 00:39

The location is where we're sitting.

:: 00:41

And our sponsor is the Wunder Wurst Kale Dog today.

:: 00:45

And where we're sitting is Corn Crop--

:: 00:48

Lake Corn Crop is the official--

:: 00:50

It says Lake Corn Crop under the sign over there.

:: 00:53

It does.

:: 00:53

Yeah.

:: 00:54

That's how I knew where we were.

:: 00:55

And it's a wonderful place for family and friend

:: 01:01

and flora and fauna and all wonderful other Fs to be together.

:: 01:07

And there's mud.

:: 01:11

There's a lot of mud.

:: 01:12

Lots of mud.

:: 01:12

A lot of mud.

:: 01:14

Like too much mud, I would say.

:: 01:16

Yeah.

:: 01:16

So the audience-- so we can immediately

:: 01:18

paint a seascape for the audience.

:: 01:21

We are sitting in this wonderful chair.

:: 01:25

Did you supply these?

:: 01:26

Or did the public--

:: 01:27

No, I brought them myself.

:: 01:29

Oh, Tom, these are just glorious.

:: 01:31

I guess these are what we sit in every day,

:: 01:32

but I'm finally noticing them.

:: 01:34

Yeah.

:: 01:35

There are public access show chairs.

:: 01:40

That's what I call them, anyways.

:: 01:41

And mine has a very light caramel scent to it.

:: 01:45

And that's because I was drinking a caramel macchiato,

:: 01:48

and I spilled it earlier.

:: 01:49

Oh, that's why.

:: 01:51

I didn't realize.

:: 01:53

Yeah.

:: 01:53

But I'm OK with that if you are.

:: 01:55

Oh, I'm perfectly fine.

:: 01:56

I like that smell.

:: 01:57

Wonderful.

:: 01:58

I'm in a wonderful mood today, aside from our quarrel

:: 02:03

that we had in the opening that the audience didn't hear

:: 02:06

because we cut it.

:: 02:06

Yeah.

:: 02:07

We cut it, or somebody will cut it,

:: 02:09

because I don't cut the tapes.

:: 02:12

That's OK.

:: 02:13

Yeah.

:: 02:13

Hey, do you know what I just found out?

:: 02:15

What?

:: 02:15

We can listen to these shows.

:: 02:16

You and I can.

:: 02:17

We can actually listen to them?

:: 02:19

Yeah.

:: 02:20

Now, I didn't know that we were allowed to listen to them.

:: 02:24

And then I don't know where I was,

:: 02:27

but I was walking along and someone on the side said,

:: 02:33

hey, did you hear what they said on the crack public access?

:: 02:37

Oh, that's us.

:: 02:38

That's us.

:: 02:38

Yeah.

:: 02:39

And that's when I didn't say that because I didn't want them

:: 02:41

to know my face.

:: 02:43

But I said, where did you listen to it?

:: 02:46

And I didn't don't remember what he said,

:: 02:49

but we're allowed to listen to these.

:: 02:51

Oh, that's that's really good.

:: 02:53

That's really good because I knew that it went on the radio,

:: 02:55

but then I'm usually busy and I don't really listen to the radio.

:: 02:58

So maybe I need to figure out when it is on the radio and then listen.

:: 03:03

Yeah.

:: 03:03

So apparently we're we're we're we're famous theater.

:: 03:10

We're not theater, but the theater of the mind.

:: 03:14

I like that.

:: 03:15

Is that right?

:: 03:15

Yeah, theater of the mind because you're listening to us

:: 03:18

with your ears, which go into your mind.

:: 03:22

Yeah, that's what by the ears are direct connection to the mind.

:: 03:26

And oh, so I see everything.

:: 03:28

You're already yeah, we're doing painting a seascape,

:: 03:31

even though we're at a lake just so everyone remembers what Lake

:: 03:34

Corn Crop, which is a lake, because we're nowhere near the sea.

:: 03:37

In Gragas, again, to we're turning the phrase.

:: 03:40

Yeah.

:: 03:40

So we are there was nowhere else to set up and we are in a field

:: 03:46

of what appears to be mud.

:: 03:48

Mm hmm.

:: 03:49

Yeah, my my new balance shoes, which I love new balance,

:: 03:53

then my favorite brand of shoes, but they've they have some mud on them.

:: 03:57

OK, with that. Yeah.

:: 03:59

You talk me off of off of a bed.

:: 04:02

Yeah, there's a man out on the lake.

:: 04:04

What are you doing on the floor there?

:: 04:06

It's like an inflatable.

:: 04:08

Is that what they call that?

:: 04:09

An inflatable. Yeah, an inflatable.

:: 04:11

It's filled with air.

:: 04:12

You have like a little pump and then you can pump it up and then you can float.

:: 04:16

You have to use your for your body seems like he's fishing

:: 04:19

and I somebody when we were walking in,

:: 04:24

you know, you had gone up ahead to set up and I went because I was distracted

:: 04:29

by the woodpecker. Yeah.

:: 04:31

Oh, we're doing behind the scenes.

:: 04:34

Oh, that's good. People will like that.

:: 04:36

Yeah. Yeah. Should I?

:: 04:39

Is there that we don't have a bumper?

:: 04:41

Oh, yeah. Let's let's.

:: 04:43

Yeah, we'll do a bumper for this.

:: 04:45

Let's hold for bumper.

:: 04:47

Behind the scenes.

:: 04:50

Get ready for disappointment.

:: 04:54

OK, OK. Yeah.

:: 04:58

All right. Now let's go.

:: 04:59

Oh, OK, we don't have to do

:: 05:01

if that's too much work for Jen to put the bumper.

:: 05:03

Oh, no, we'll make it.

:: 05:04

Well, she's bad enough at me.

:: 05:06

Oh, that's OK.

:: 05:07

I think Jen gets creative when there's anger involved.

:: 05:10

So. Oh, wonderful.

:: 05:12

Yeah. So she'll probably like making a bumper for that.

:: 05:15

Oh, so anyway, when I was

:: 05:18

when I was waiting for you,

:: 05:21

I and an older lady approached me and ever see

:: 05:26

the ever see that movie,

:: 05:29

Snow White from back in the 1930s, which is a wonderful film.

:: 05:35

Yeah.

:: 05:36

But there was a witch who gave her an apple

:: 05:40

and she had like a black cloak on over her head a little bit.

:: 05:45

That's what this lady looked like.

:: 05:46

Oh, wow, that sounds really scary.

:: 05:48

Oh, it was. She was she seemed lovely.

:: 05:50

But she told me that there was this lake.

:: 05:53

Apparently, there's a submarine in it.

:: 05:55

In this in in Lake Corncrop, there's a submarine.

:: 05:58

That's what she said.

:: 06:00

Wow, that is like the sea.

:: 06:02

Yeah. So it's, you know, I don't know how they fit in here.

:: 06:05

But yeah, I mean, what were they doing?

:: 06:07

Submarining around Lake Corncrop.

:: 06:10

Oh, no, it's like it's active right now.

:: 06:12

It's active.

:: 06:13

That's what she was saying.

:: 06:14

She was saying that there's a cab.

:: 06:16

There's like all different types of the

:: 06:18

and I guess there's an engineer and I don't understand how it works.

:: 06:21

Yeah, there's a submarine.

:: 06:23

Wow, that is that.

:: 06:25

I didn't even know that.

:: 06:27

I'm Yammer. Oh, no, that's OK.

:: 06:29

I'm sorry. I mean, Lake Corncrop,

:: 06:31

there's also the campground here and and we can we can see the parking lot

:: 06:35

so we can see people, I guess, coming to camp.

:: 06:39

And and there's hi.

:: 06:42

Hey, oh, there is somebody right there.

:: 06:44

Oh, yeah, that's one of our fans.

:: 06:48

I'm assuming hi, everybody.

:: 06:49

And yeah, don't look at my face.

:: 06:53

Yeah, they can maybe see our faces.

:: 06:55

But I mean, maybe they don't know what we're doing because, you know,

:: 07:00

um, so anyways, there's the parking lot there.

:: 07:04

And and I've been here before.

:: 07:07

I came here camping once with Joe Roost and Joe Roost's dog James.

:: 07:12

And there was a lot of mosquitoes.

:: 07:15

And I've seen a few mosquitoes around here today, but hopefully not too many.

:: 07:20

Hopefully we don't get swarmed.

:: 07:21

Yeah, this is this is so to me,

:: 07:26

everything on earth is a wonderful gift.

:: 07:30

You know, yeah, every life except for mosquitoes, except for mosquitoes.

:: 07:35

They're terrible.

:: 07:36

Yeah, that just the worst.

:: 07:38

The worst like the wonder.

:: 07:40

Oh, like our sponsor, the Wonder Wars killed dog.

:: 07:44

Yeah. Yeah.

:: 07:46

You see how I did that?

:: 07:47

I just peppered that right in.

:: 07:50

Should we talk?

:: 07:51

Do we talk now about that?

:: 07:52

Or do you talk more about mosquitoes?

:: 07:54

Well, we're also supposed to talk about our theme of today,

:: 07:57

which is corporate jargon.

:: 07:59

Oh, oh, corporate jacket.

:: 08:02

So yeah, the.

:: 08:05

OK, so you you take it because I'm so confused right now.

:: 08:07

Yeah, I'm just sitting here.

:: 08:09

Me too. I me too.

:: 08:11

I mean, I got this post it note, which is, I guess, kind of corporate

:: 08:14

that says corporate jargon.

:: 08:16

And I guess I guess we need to just talk about the the words that they say corporate.

:: 08:23

I used to work in a corporate place called Apocalypse.Cloud.

:: 08:27

And we used a lot of jargon in the workplace.

:: 08:29

And I guess my job right now would be to get everyone on the same page

:: 08:37

because you're confused.

:: 08:40

So I need to get us on the same page.

:: 08:41

That's corporate.

:: 08:42

Get us on the same.

:: 08:43

Yeah, that's a corporate.

:: 08:44

Let's get us on the same page.

:: 08:46

Let's get on the same page is corporate jargon.

:: 08:49

So great. Yeah.

:: 08:50

I don't know how to put like Wonder Wars

:: 08:54

to Kale dogs into this, but I guess I need to some

:: 08:59

because if you go camping like like corn crop,

:: 09:02

we might be eating Wonder Wars.

:: 09:04

Kale dogs.

:: 09:07

That would be me getting us on the same page.

:: 09:10

And that's our corporate jargon.

:: 09:11

So I kind of looped it all in.

:: 09:14

Maybe there's corporate jogging around that looping in.

:: 09:16

Looping in.

:: 09:17

So I'm not exactly sure what corporate jargon is.

:: 09:20

And your examples don't make sense to me because.

:: 09:22

Yeah.

:: 09:24

Not that they're not good, but they're, you know, they're just not great.

:: 09:28

Yeah. So, yeah.

:: 09:30

But it's in my mind, corporate jargon might be.

:: 09:33

And after all, you're my Wonderwall,

:: 09:36

like from the wonderful band Oasis.

:: 09:40

Maybe that's corporate jargon.

:: 09:42

Yeah, that might be.

:: 09:43

I mean, I don't really I don't think I've heard that in

:: 09:47

my days in corporate land.

:: 09:50

Yeah. But that could be a corporate jargon.

:: 09:53

Yeah. Or pour some sugar on me.

:: 09:56

Right. That might be one.

:: 09:57

Pour some sugar on me.

:: 09:59

It was from a song from the 19 guess the 1940s.

:: 10:03

I don't know, big band, but it was, I guess it was like a little

:: 10:09

they used to do the thing where they put their hands on their knees

:: 10:12

and put their knees together, but then their hands would transfer

:: 10:15

to the other knee and it would look like it was here.

:: 10:19

I'll show you. Hold on.

:: 10:20

OK, let's see. Hold on. Let's see. Yeah.

:: 10:22

A lot of sack. OK. Here we go.

:: 10:27

Oh, my. OK. I don't know. Oh.

:: 10:29

OK, my my my foot is stuck in the mud.

:: 10:34

Yeah. Oh, OK.

:: 10:37

Yeah, it's kind of.

:: 10:38

Yeah. Yeah.

:: 10:40

Can you do you mine?

:: 10:42

Oh, let me see if I can help you.

:: 10:44

OK, that's wonderful.

:: 10:46

I have the boaters.

:: 10:47

Hi, just wait to the fence.

:: 10:49

Hi. Yeah. No, we're OK.

:: 10:51

We're OK.

:: 10:53

I can come over.

:: 10:54

Oh, no, no, sir.

:: 10:55

No, don't don't come in.

:: 10:56

Yeah, no, we're OK.

:: 10:57

We're OK. Don't have to come.

:: 10:59

Yeah, don't come seaside.

:: 11:01

Don't come shorts.

:: 11:02

Seashore. Seashore.

:: 11:03

Lake shore.

:: 11:05

Yeah. Oh, Lake shore.

:: 11:06

Lake shore.

:: 11:07

Oh, he's he's signaling us.

:: 11:10

I think he has a flare in his hand.

:: 11:12

So yeah, he does.

:: 11:14

Yeah. I don't know what if he's.

:: 11:16

We're good, buddy.

:: 11:18

Yeah. Thank you.

:: 11:19

I just I'm kind of worried about flares.

:: 11:21

I want to sit down in the mud

:: 11:24

because I don't want him thinking that.

:: 11:26

I could shoot you. Yeah, but you you are kind of stuck.

:: 11:29

I am just can you pass the microphone back over?

:: 11:31

Here you go. Just sit down because I can't have him

:: 11:33

shooting a flare in our direction.

:: 11:35

Yeah, there you go. OK.

:: 11:37

All right. Oh, let me just. Oh. Oh.

:: 11:40

OK. Oh, that that mud is warmer than it seems.

:: 11:45

Yeah. I'm just going to also move the bleep box over just in case.

:: 11:49

Just in case it gets. Yeah.

:: 11:52

Just in case you want it.

:: 11:53

You can say some some curse words.

:: 11:55

And then I can bleed them out just in case because it's it's

:: 11:59

you're really stuck in there. So we are not.

:: 12:02

Oh, I do this.

:: 12:04

In my days, first of all, this mud is like 15 times warmer

:: 12:08

than I would have expected. Oh, I think it might be some kind of magma or something.

:: 12:13

Because it is lie feel like I'm in a Turkish bath.

:: 12:17

Oh, well, that's quite nice.

:: 12:19

Oh, this is wonderful.

:: 12:21

And I'm very relaxed.

:: 12:22

And oh, wow, there's that.

:: 12:25

I think there might be a root or something that's touching my leg,

:: 12:28

but that's OK. I'll leave it there.

:: 12:29

I hope it's a root. And yeah, yeah, it's fine.

:: 12:32

Yeah. But I am.

:: 12:34

I might just I'll paint a lovely little

:: 12:37

where you see the guy who used to.

:: 12:40

He was a painter of light, but he passed away and I loved him and.

:: 12:44

And but anyway, I'm going to paint a

:: 12:51

I'm going to get to sleep, actually, I think, if you don't mind,

:: 12:54

because I'm so tired right now.

:: 12:55

That's OK. That's that's fine.

:: 12:57

You can go to sleep.

:: 12:59

I can just I'll just start it up.

:: 13:01

I'll start up. I'll start up the next segment and I will catnap.

:: 13:06

You'll just catnap and I'll just I'll start.

:: 13:08

I'll start the next segment.

:: 13:11

All right, listen here.

:: 13:12

So our first segment of today is community connections, community connections.

:: 13:17

I'll hold for bumper.

:: 13:19

Gratkin.

:: 13:21

I have a vice.

:: 13:23

Happy birthday.

:: 13:26

Where are you?

:: 13:28

All right.

:: 13:29

So our first community connection is a piece of advice that we received.

:: 13:35

Let me just get it here.

:: 13:37

All right. I heard where you were headed for one of your little shows.

:: 13:42

So here's my advice.

:: 13:44

The rocks at the north side of Corn Crop Lake are really good for getting

:: 13:49

the lake corn crop mud and even that crust off the bottom of your feet

:: 13:54

like a pumice stone, but free.

:: 13:57

Also, dogs like jumping off them into the lake.

:: 14:00

So that's our first piece of advice from the community.

:: 14:03

Thank you, caller or writer.

:: 14:06

Thomas Kincaid was his name.

:: 14:08

Tom. Oh, who painted the light?

:: 14:10

The paint of the light. Right.

:: 14:12

He was wonderful.

:: 14:13

And he had these beautiful paintings and I'm not sleeping, by the way.

:: 14:16

This is not I'm not sleep talking.

:: 14:18

Oh, OK, so you're actually with us, Parker.

:: 14:20

That's good. I couldn't sleep.

:: 14:23

But I'll be quiet because I know you're just

:: 14:25

he said something wonderful about the pumice and the lava.

:: 14:28

Yeah. So this might be useful.

:: 14:31

So it's just lakes that are kind of like that pumice stone that you can get for

:: 14:35

cleaning that, you know, that kind of layered, hard, crusty skin

:: 14:39

that you get on your feet.

:: 14:41

I don't know if Parker would know.

:: 14:42

I can't see them right now because they're covered in mud.

:: 14:45

But it also apparently gets that mud off the feet.

:: 14:48

The the rocks at the north side of the lake.

:: 14:51

Well, Parker is just drooling right now.

:: 14:56

I think I see a little bit of drool out of the I'm painting the seascape now

:: 15:00

of Parker's face, which has drool on it from sleeping.

:: 15:05

OK, I'm going to move on to the second community connection, which is a birthday.

:: 15:13

Right. So this one was given to one of the checkers at bulk bins for us for the show.

:: 15:20

But no one is too sure what day it was left.

:: 15:23

And it says it's tax birthday today, T-A-C-K, TAC.

:: 15:30

I don't know who TAC is or what day this note was left.

:: 15:35

But it was tax birthday somewhat recently.

:: 15:38

And that's all we know.

:: 15:41

All right.

:: 15:42

Oh, oh, hello. Oh, hello, Parker.

:: 15:45

You're back. I'm back.

:: 15:47

Oh, that was wonderful.

:: 15:49

Oh, well, what was wonderful?

:: 15:52

Oh, I know you don't you probably didn't notice, but I had your voice was very soothing

:: 15:59

because you have that radio voice as you know you do.

:: 16:03

And I had dozed off to a wonderful

:: 16:09

faraway land of, you know, this year, those, you know, those candies that have

:: 16:17

the that they're caramel on the outside and they have cream on the inside.

:: 16:22

But it's not real cream.

:: 16:24

It's like some kind of sugary stuff.

:: 16:26

Is it kind of like the the Werther's original, but the special ones?

:: 16:29

This is a soft candy.

:: 16:35

Yeah, I don't know.

:: 16:36

But I love Werther's.

:: 16:37

But anyway, I had a dream that I was skiing on a slope

:: 16:43

that was made of that wonderful soft cream.

:: 16:45

Oh, that's really good.

:: 16:46

But it was the mud, you see.

:: 16:48

Oh, oh, it was the mud like on your feet.

:: 16:51

And that's what made you dream of it.

:: 16:53

That makes sense.

:: 16:54

Yeah. And I think it was the caramel that I'm smelling from the chair.

:: 16:58

Right. That makes sense.

:: 16:59

And some of the spilled coffee has dripped down and I can

:: 17:06

you know, I can smell it from the mud and there's a little puddle by my mouth.

:: 17:10

Oh, I see. Yeah.

:: 17:14

Can I can I get a little shock?

:: 17:15

Yeah. Oh, of course.

:: 17:17

Yeah. And ladies and gentlemen,

:: 17:23

right now, I am trying to figure out whether to lap up the

:: 17:28

the caramel macchiato from the mud with my tongue.

:: 17:32

That is.

:: 17:34

Yeah.

:: 17:35

You're going to get really sick, Parker.

:: 17:37

I'm not going to get.

:: 17:39

Don't you worry about that.

:: 17:40

I'll be fine.

:: 17:41

I think I think you're going to get sick.

:: 17:43

I mean, watch, watch, watch.

:: 17:45

Yeah. Oh, watch me.

:: 17:47

Lap it up. Oh, don't do it.

:: 17:49

There's a lot of geese around here.

:: 17:51

There's a lot of geese.

:: 17:53

No, you shouldn't.

:: 17:54

Parker. That was. Oh, Parker.

:: 17:57

We share a bathroom for goodness sake.

:: 17:59

We share a bathroom.

:: 18:02

You're going to get all gone.

:: 18:04

Oh, all gone.

:: 18:06

Oh, no, I'm a rascal.

:: 18:08

I did. I I licked my

:: 18:11

it's in my belly. Oh, no.

:: 18:14

And had a very it tasted almost like the way that oil paint smells.

:: 18:20

Right. But in a good way.

:: 18:21

In a good way. OK. OK.

:: 18:24

Well, we should probably spend by one of the

:: 18:28

like shoppers drug mart on our way back to get something for your stomach.

:: 18:32

OK, OK, I'm OK.

:: 18:34

Oh, he's looking at us again and waving with his flare gun.

:: 18:38

Can you just see I can't lift my arm right now?

:: 18:40

Hi. We're OK.

:: 18:42

We're OK. No, we're OK.

:: 18:44

We're good. I'm giving a thumbs up as well.

:: 18:47

Just a thumbs up sign because that means that we're good.

:: 18:50

Just in case. He's putting the flare gun now.

:: 18:52

Oh, if he's trying to show up, he's he has.

:: 18:56

He's making like a teapot with the flare gun up in the air, though,

:: 18:59

like the other way.

:: 19:00

Yeah, is he going to shoot that off for us?

:: 19:02

He might. You know what?

:: 19:04

I would have him.

:: 19:05

I would really like to see the flare gun,

:: 19:07

but as long as it's pointed towards us, because that makes me feel very, very scared.

:: 19:12

Now he put it back. I was hoping you would.

:: 19:15

I'm kind of hoping to.

:: 19:18

Yeah. OK, you continue.

:: 19:19

This is so much fun. Yeah. This is the best episode.

:: 19:21

Oh, I think it's our best episode as well.

:: 19:23

I'm just kind of worried a little bit about the geese as well.

:: 19:27

Missed connection is our next one here to the person who put that sign

:: 19:33

on the lampposts along Gerard Street that say quotation marks.

:: 19:39

I will place a used litter box in your ex's open garage

:: 19:44

the next time they leave it open while taking in groceries.

:: 19:47

Close quotation marks.

:: 19:51

Can or will you go any lower than thirty five dollars?

:: 19:55

I could do twenty five dollars or thirty dollars if you have time next week.

:: 20:00

Also, how do I contact you?

:: 20:02

Question mark. And that's it.

:: 20:05

That's all it says. Miss connection.

:: 20:06

OK, I have no idea.

:: 20:08

But maybe it's just because I'm so my muscles now

:: 20:13

are like being tenderized from this mud bath. Yeah.

:: 20:15

But I don't know what you said.

:: 20:18

Right. Something about a garage.

:: 20:21

And, you know, I'm going to be honest with you.

:: 20:25

I don't give a fudge right now because I have deeper.

:: 20:29

No, don't don't don't worry.

:: 20:31

I am relaxed.

:: 20:33

You can you can put that on the air because guess what?

:: 20:35

I don't care right now.

:: 20:37

I don't give I don't give a fudge about anything.

:: 20:42

No, I I am.

:: 20:45

I am feeling wonderful.

:: 20:47

And if that person has an X, then good for them and good for their garage.

:: 20:53

Good for their garage. Thank you.

:: 20:54

Well, I mean, I'm quite amazed to learn that somebody is going around

:: 20:59

with a service to put a used litter box inside people.

:: 21:03

Oh, Parker. Oh, no.

:: 21:06

So I didn't mean it, Kurt.

:: 21:08

Oh, I just realized that's OK.

:: 21:12

I thought I was being funny.

:: 21:14

Oh, I oh, I see. See, I didn't realize that you were trying to be funny.

:: 21:18

I thought you actually were that relaxed because of the mud.

:: 21:21

I was trying to pretend I was.

:: 21:24

I mean, I have relaxed, but then I thought the relaxing made me feel funny.

:: 21:28

And I well, I thought I'd curse to try something.

:: 21:33

You know, understanding the new context that you were saying that in,

:: 21:36

I think it was pretty funny.

:: 21:38

It now I realize with with that context added.

:: 21:43

Can we can can you please tell

:: 21:46

gosh, Jen to cut that and she won't because she's she won't because she's yeah.

:: 21:55

I got a note that I'm bad.

:: 21:56

She has that you like she's willing to listen to our show with your voice in it.

:: 22:00

But she's probably not going to listen to any special requests.

:: 22:04

OK, well, so just what can I apologize to other than the bumper?

:: 22:08

The bumper will give her the creativity. Oh, wonderful.

:: 22:11

Yeah, she's fueled.

:: 22:12

She's her creativity is fueled.

:: 22:15

She says by piss and vinegar, which I think means anger.

:: 22:18

OK, so we'll ask her if you can just make a note down because I can't move my hands

:: 22:24

right now because I'm in the, you know, I guess the mud has formed a natural section.

:: 22:30

Yeah. But can you just write down to believe the word that begins with P that you said?

:: 22:35

Oh, right. Yeah.

:: 22:36

Well, thank you for not saying it again,

:: 22:38

because then we don't need to worry about bleeping that because I don't think I bleeped it in time.

:: 22:43

PI double silly snakes.

:: 22:45

PI double silly snakes. I like that.

:: 22:48

Yeah, that's how you say it.

:: 22:49

Yeah, that's a good way. We're not going to say that again.

:: 22:51

I just said it because that was like the actual phrase that was used.

:: 22:56

So it was kind of a technicality.

:: 22:58

I wasn't cursing. I was just it was descriptive.

:: 23:00

Oh, my gosh, you did what you said you were going to do.

:: 23:03

What's that? You just you distracted me till I stopped crying.

:: 23:06

Oh, it worked.

:: 23:07

You did stop crying. I didn't even notice.

:: 23:10

Yeah. Yeah.

:: 23:11

So just so we could get we can

:: 23:14

we can pierce the ethereal veil of the radio.

:: 23:22

Guess we have like an unspoken agreement with our audience.

:: 23:25

Yeah, we're going to we're going to break it for a second.

:: 23:28

OK.

:: 23:30

Because I'm going to tell them what you said.

:: 23:32

OK. You said that because I I said to you back in the apartment

:: 23:37

that I was very upset about crying so much.

:: 23:39

And you said I'm going to try something new.

:: 23:41

And I said what?

:: 23:43

Because I thought that you were going to give me some kind of a

:: 23:46

potion or something. Yeah.

:: 23:48

Or apothecary or sludge.

:: 23:52

And you didn't.

:: 23:54

You said I'm going to distract you.

:: 23:55

Parker, there's two geese behind you.

:: 23:57

They dressed in blue and white stripes and straw hats.

:: 24:04

I'm assuming that is based on the way your face.

:: 24:07

Absolutely not. No. Yeah.

:: 24:09

No, I mean, that would if they if they were dressed like that,

:: 24:12

which I believe is a gondola.

:: 24:14

You were telling me earlier that that's what gondola people wear.

:: 24:18

If they they're doing the boat version of gondola,

:: 24:21

they are not dressed in anything at all.

:: 24:24

They're just they're just in their birthday suits, I guess.

:: 24:28

Well, OK.

:: 24:32

And I think so are they because I smell them from here.

:: 24:36

That's for sure.

:: 24:39

And I can feel their breath that close to my.

:: 24:42

They're they're pretty close.

:: 24:44

Yeah. And your suction is really good.

:: 24:46

You can't get out because I would maybe suggest moving if you can.

:: 24:51

At this point, let me just try a lot of things here.

:: 24:53

Oh, boy. OK.

:: 24:56

Yeah.

:: 24:58

Oh, I can't move one and two.

:: 25:03

There's something happening with my digestive.

:: 25:08

Yeah. Right.

:: 25:12

With the right.

:: 25:13

Oh, I don't know if you remember this, but earlier when I drank the.

:: 25:16

The mud, the Machado, the Machado that was filled in the mud.

:: 25:20

And I said, hey, geese poop around here.

:: 25:23

This might not be good.

:: 25:25

Yeah, but it's OK because the sound is insulated.

:: 25:28

So the because I'm stuck in the mud.

:: 25:30

So the viewer will not be able to listen to what's about to.

:: 25:33

OK. Yeah. All right.

:: 25:35

Well, that's that's good.

:: 25:37

That's good.

:: 25:38

That's good for me here listening in my headphones as well, I suppose.

:: 25:42

Yeah. Yeah. OK.

:: 25:43

OK. All right.

:: 25:44

Well, I think you're still there.

:: 25:47

Is the the.

:: 25:48

Yeah, they're both definitely they're flanking you right behind you.

:: 25:53

And they're like, oh, it's almost like a battle.

:: 25:57

Yeah, it almost looks like well, it definitely looks like they're frowning

:: 26:00

because they're geese and they're one of the angriest and meanest animals

:: 26:03

on the planet. And I'm really scared.

:: 26:06

Oh, God. Oh, no.

:: 26:08

Oh, no. Oh, OK.

:: 26:10

Yes. Yeah.

:: 26:12

Parker. Yeah.

:: 26:13

Get out of my ear.

:: 26:15

Yeah, definitely.

:: 26:17

And your the cable.

:: 26:19

Oh, they're pulling their headphones now.

:: 26:21

Stop it.

:: 26:22

Oh, God.

:: 26:24

Oh, there's so many.

:: 26:27

Oh, there we go.

:: 26:29

Oh, listen, Parker.

:: 26:32

Parker got loose. Parker.

:: 26:34

Oh, my God.

:: 26:35

I got to go to the bathroom.

:: 26:37

I'll be back. OK.

:: 26:38

Well, listener, it's a perfect time for us to go to a friend of the show

:: 26:43

with their message about probably the Kale dogs.

:: 26:48

So let's go to that and maybe we'll see what happens with Parker when we get back.

:: 26:53

This week's show is brought to you by Wunderwurst Kale dogs.

:: 27:01

You might think that they're the worst instead of the best.

:: 27:04

And that might make you wonder why we call them that.

:: 27:07

But we're actually talking about worst as in the German word for sausage.

:: 27:11

W, you are, S, T.

:: 27:14

You might also wonder why they're made of kale, but they're pretty good that way.

:: 27:18

Try them out.

:: 27:19

Find them at Bulkbinds in bin number 32 in aisle four.

:: 27:23

Tells them, Tog, sent you for an additional 13 percent off six kale dogs or less.

:: 27:30

Black public access.

:: 27:35

And we're back.

:: 27:36

You're listening to one oh one point seven FM, the crack.

:: 27:40

And today we're near the parking lot in a field of mud at Lake Corncrop,

:: 27:47

our theme of the show is corporate jargon and our sponsor,

:: 27:51

which you probably just heard about, is the Wunderwurst Kale dog.

:: 27:55

And we're back and Parker is back.

:: 27:59

How are you doing, Parker?

:: 28:00

I'm I guess I guess you can say I'm better than I look.

:: 28:04

Yeah. So I went behind the outhouses

:: 28:09

and I well, I'm going to have to say this in a way that's not offensive.

:: 28:15

I got sick.

:: 28:16

You got sick. All right.

:: 28:18

Yeah. And for multiple things, the pain from the geese venom.

:: 28:24

Geese venom.

:: 28:27

Yeah, the pain stinging my ear.

:: 28:29

And, you know, they say I don't think it was the actual cut that is hurting.

:: 28:33

It's the venom. The venom. Yeah. Yeah.

:: 28:36

Because the well, that's the other one, the old lady that I spoke about earlier.

:: 28:41

Yeah. The one that kind of looked like the Snow White Witch that sounded really scary.

:: 28:46

Yeah. Yeah. After I, you know, got sick in the woods,

:: 28:50

you know, she she gave me an anti venom.

:: 28:54

I guess it was. It was, you know, it tastes it tastes like, you know,

:: 29:01

apple apple juice and some kind of a parsley.

:: 29:05

Oh, well, that sounds very pleasant, actually.

:: 29:07

I got I, you know, she was talking very fast.

:: 29:11

So yeah, I didn't catch everything she said, but I told her about the geese venom.

:: 29:15

And then she had she handed me the drink.

:: 29:17

Right. And it seemed to work.

:: 29:19

That's interesting, because they did say that the geese of Lake Corncrop

:: 29:23

are a special type of goose.

:: 29:25

So maybe they've got special defenses that I'm not aware of.

:: 29:30

Either way, I feel absolutely wonderful right now.

:: 29:33

Oh, well, that's good.

:: 29:34

Yeah, I'm just going to sit here.

:: 29:36

I'm very ruined, your chair.

:: 29:37

I'll have to pay you back. Oh, no, that's fine.

:: 29:39

I can just hose it down.

:: 29:41

Oh, OK. Wonderful.

:: 29:42

So I guess we can end the show.

:: 29:45

We have segments left.

:: 29:46

Oh, we do have segments left.

:: 29:48

Yeah, we got lots.

:: 29:48

I mean, you were sleeping, but not for very long.

:: 29:51

So we've got a lot more segments to do.

:: 29:53

To me, it could have been a minute or a day.

:: 29:56

OK, well, it wasn't either of those things.

:: 29:58

So fair enough. Yeah.

:: 30:00

All right. So we should go on to taste the grackleton now that you're cleared out.

:: 30:05

And hopefully you have your appetite back because we're going to talk about

:: 30:09

something we've ate or something we've enjoyed this week.

:: 30:12

Oh, I should hold for bumper.

:: 30:14

Taste of grackleton.

:: 30:16

Oh, yum.

:: 30:21

All right. Taste of grackleton.

:: 30:23

So Parker, have you eaten anything interesting this week,

:: 30:28

something you've enjoyed or something that you'd like to tell the listener about?

:: 30:32

Yes, I have.

:: 30:34

I'd like to thank you.

:: 30:35

And I think you know what I'm going to say,

:: 30:38

because I have not shut up.

:: 30:41

I'm going to get close and do some ASMR.

:: 30:43

They'll love that, especially the box of their listening.

:: 30:46

Do you know that they email me again?

:: 30:48

Oh, I didn't know.

:: 30:49

But I I guessed that they might because you think you called them out on the last episode.

:: 30:54

Yeah. And so remember, they used to do those birthday cards

:: 30:59

where they used to you could put somebody's face into the birthday card.

:: 31:04

And then it would be like them singing a barbershop quartet with like,

:: 31:09

you know, all politicians and stuff.

:: 31:11

You know, I've always hoped I'd receive one of those.

:: 31:14

I never have, but that sounds so cool.

:: 31:16

Yeah, they it wasn't they instead of my face,

:: 31:22

they put a picture, a close up picture of a naval like a belly button.

:: 31:27

And not an itch, not not even not.

:: 31:30

There's some navels that you'd want that to be your face, but not this one.

:: 31:34

That sounds pretty horrifying, actually.

:: 31:36

And then I guess they could put on the name of your

:: 31:39

the name of you put your name there. Yeah.

:: 31:42

And they they called me clumpy.

:: 31:44

They called you clumpy.

:: 31:45

It was an A.I. voice.

:: 31:46

So it was like, yeah, we're going to sing a song about clumpy.

:: 31:52

Oh, yeah.

:: 31:54

Yeah. So like they're really dubbed over kind of sound dubbed over.

:: 31:58

Yeah. And I didn't like that because I'm not a belly button.

:: 32:01

You aren't a belly button.

:: 32:03

I mean, I guess partly.

:: 32:05

I mean, you have a belly button.

:: 32:07

I would assume I haven't seen it, obviously.

:: 32:10

Oh, here it is. Oh, yeah.

:: 32:13

Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, there it is.

:: 32:16

I saw I do have it.

:: 32:17

I just wanted to prove it.

:: 32:18

Sorry. Excuse me. I sneezed.

:: 32:20

There's a lot of pollen around here.

:: 32:22

Yeah. Now that was.

:: 32:25

It was yeah, there's pollen.

:: 32:26

There's a lot of pollen.

:: 32:27

And and also I think something maybe some lint came out of your belly button there, actually.

:: 32:32

I didn't want to say anything, but then I had to say it because I'm an honest person.

:: 32:36

I'm an honest person.

:: 32:37

I've noticed it recently.

:: 32:39

Yeah. And I didn't want to do anything because I did not.

:: 32:42

They always say you have to be careful with like antibiotics

:: 32:45

and antibacterial soaps.

:: 32:48

Yeah. And anything that's going to disrupt the flora and fauna that are better in my system.

:: 32:55

Well, you've got a lot of it because, I mean, you're mud right now.

:: 32:59

Yeah. You know what happened to me one time?

:: 33:01

What? Do you know that belly buttons can go like the hole can go really far back

:: 33:06

for some people? No, I did not.

:: 33:07

It can. And you know what?

:: 33:09

The lint can go way back into the back of the belly button and get stuck there

:: 33:14

and clump up over a long period of time.

:: 33:16

And you can get like kind of like a plug thing in there if you aren't careful about it.

:: 33:20

Speaking of clumps.

:: 33:22

Smokes like it would it be like USBC or USB 3.0?

:: 33:26

No. I'm joking.

:: 33:28

I was wondering because I wouldn't try to do that.

:: 33:34

I mean, I've tried a lot of things, but I haven't tried to do that.

:: 33:37

OK. Oh, hold on.

:: 33:40

Just so the ladies and gentlemen, oh, boy, ladies and gentlemen, no, that wasn't joke.

:: 33:46

Just so they know.

:: 33:49

Yeah. But anyway, sorry, I think my sneeze kind of interrupted everything.

:: 33:54

What happened? We were talking about belly buttons.

:: 33:56

Oh, they had a picture.

:: 33:58

Yeah. And OK, so I'm ready to talk.

:: 34:00

Oh, oh, dirt desert. Desert. OK.

:: 34:03

Dirt desert. Dirt desert.

:: 34:05

Yeah, that's what I had.

:: 34:06

That's what you had.

:: 34:07

This is kind of fitting because of the mud.

:: 34:08

All the mud that were here.

:: 34:10

Yeah, I was kind of almost wondering if that was what you did with the

:: 34:13

Machiavo thing before, where you kind of. Oh, you know, dirt desert.

:: 34:18

But this was totally different.

:: 34:19

Yeah. Oh, this was absolutely real.

:: 34:21

I went down to to the grocery store, I say, I often do on on Tuesdays.

:: 34:26

And I got myself they had their weekly special was a dirt dessert.

:: 34:31

Oh, well, what's that like?

:: 34:34

What on earth is a dessert?

:: 34:35

Oh, it's wonderful.

:: 34:36

So they take they take chocolate cookies that maybe like

:: 34:41

an Oreo type cookie, which is my favorite.

:: 34:44

And they crumble it up with icing.

:: 34:46

And that's like the or maybe it's chocolate cake, too.

:: 34:48

And that's like the dirt part.

:: 34:51

And they mix it up with icing.

:: 34:53

And then they put like a coconut that's dyed green for grass on top.

:: 34:57

Oh, I see.

:: 34:59

And then they put gummy worms.

:: 35:01

And yeah.

:: 35:03

And so I went through all the pieces in the cabinet

:: 35:06

because I wanted to get the one with the most gummy worms.

:: 35:08

And so I asked the store manager for a trolley.

:: 35:13

I guess it's called a trolley cart.

:: 35:15

And he said, well, why do you need that?

:: 35:18

And I said, because I'm going to look for the dirt desserts.

:: 35:21

And he said he said, get the.

:: 35:25

Oh, no.

:: 35:27

Yeah, I'm sorry.

:: 35:28

He got upset at you.

:: 35:30

Yeah, because I because I told him my plan that I wanted to go through

:: 35:34

all the dirt deserts and he said, you don't cause that trouble for me.

:: 35:38

And he said, get the.

:: 35:41

I've got the bleep box ready just in case.

:: 35:45

Did he did he say a bad word?

:: 35:47

He said it was a very bad word.

:: 35:49

And he said that he said, get it out of get out.

:: 35:52

Get get that get the I'm not going to say it.

:: 35:55

Well, I have my finger ready over the.

:: 35:56

Yeah, but I'm not going to say it.

:: 35:58

But it was a very bad word because it happens and ends with it.

:: 36:03

And then she T.

:: 36:05

Yeah, I'm just I'm trying to do some mental spelling here.

:: 36:11

Get the F. You know, the F.

:: 36:15

A. R. T. Yeah.

:: 36:17

What? Yeah.

:: 36:19

That doesn't even make sense.

:: 36:21

That doesn't even make sense.

:: 36:23

He said, get that word out of my store and.

:: 36:27

Get the F. A. R. T. out of my store.

:: 36:29

Yeah. And I left and I didn't have any dirt to serve, but it looked wonderful.

:: 36:36

Honestly, I'd be in a lot of trouble because I do silent in a grocery store all the time.

:: 36:41

I mean, I luckily they're silent so nobody can know.

:: 36:45

What? I do silent for the grocery store all the time.

:: 36:50

Looking at all that food, I like I love a bean.

:: 36:54

I love beans.

:: 36:55

I mean, everyone knows that.

:: 36:57

I mean, obviously, I'm mostly a potato file, which is somebody who is quite obsessed by potatoes.

:: 37:02

But I also love beans and and I so I go up and down the bean aisle.

:: 37:08

And I think it triggers a lot of F. A. R. T.

:: 37:11

But I they're usually silent, luckily, usually, not always.

:: 37:15

Can you do me a favor?

:: 37:17

Do you know how sometimes they when they want to protect somebody's identity,

:: 37:23

they scramble it so the pictures look all.

:: 37:25

Yeah, it's like a jigsaw puzzle that squares.

:: 37:29

It's like it's like eight bit video games from the eighties.

:: 37:32

Like that's big pixels.

:: 37:34

I wouldn't know what that is.

:: 37:36

But can you do that to the conversation we just had?

:: 37:40

Because I don't think anybody should have to hear any of that.

:: 37:42

That was well, I'm going to have to put in a special request to Jim.

:: 37:46

Well, I could put it under my name and see if she does it.

:: 37:49

Yeah. She might be mad at me, too,

:: 37:51

because I'm obviously associated with you as being doing the same show

:: 37:56

and everything, but I can try.

:: 37:58

I'll put a post it on the tape.

:: 38:01

OK, OK, I am going to take over the host's duty.

:: 38:05

All right. Second. OK, I'm going to say,

:: 38:07

talk, right, what is your favorite?

:: 38:11

What am I?

:: 38:14

Just a food, a food, something we thought about or ate or plan to eat this week.

:: 38:21

Be quiet so I can do it. OK, all right.

:: 38:23

Yeah.

:: 38:24

Talk, what is your favorite food or something?

:: 38:29

Right. Food this this week, this week.

:: 38:33

All right. So what I was my my food, I thought about this week

:: 38:39

was a hot dog festival that I had at Apocalypse

:: 38:45

Dog Cloud in the War kitchen.

:: 38:47

And that's because I was trying to combine in my head a corporate jargon

:: 38:53

and veggie dogs and and food, I guess.

:: 39:00

Anyways, a hot dog festival that I that I had.

:: 39:04

And it was I did a special event once where I got a whole bunch of hot dogs

:: 39:10

and I cooked them up in the work microwave.

:: 39:13

And in the corner of the work kitchen,

:: 39:16

we had a little hot dog festival and I put a little sign up.

:: 39:19

It was just paper like paper that I found in the photocopier

:: 39:23

and I wrote it with a Sharpie.

:: 39:25

It's a hot dog festival.

:: 39:28

That's it. That's that I thought about it this week because I was that was amazing.

:: 39:32

So yeah, like so, I guess I guess I follow up now.

:: 39:38

OK. At the festival, whether any

:: 39:41

because you gave me this earlier.

:: 39:43

Yeah, the store is OK.

:: 39:44

So I guess so the listeners know

:: 39:48

because we were going to practice this session where I would be the host.

:: 39:53

Todd gave me the question that I was supposed to ask earlier and the answer

:: 39:59

and the answer.

:: 40:00

So yeah, so I knew you were going to talk about the festival.

:: 40:04

Yeah.

:: 40:05

But so my follow up question that I wrote down

:: 40:07

is

:: 40:11

is whether he rides at the festival?

:: 40:14

Um, not really unless you consider sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs,

:: 40:20

kind of like a ride, which it kind of is because a lot of them

:: 40:22

are missing one of the feet on the bottom and they kind of jiggle a little bit.

:: 40:27

You know, when you sit down, that's that's that is that is a ride.

:: 40:30

It's kind of like a ride. Yeah. Yeah.

:: 40:32

If you could look that. Yeah, that is a ride.

:: 40:34

You could you look it up on the world, wonderful worldwide web.

:: 40:39

And that will say ride.

:: 40:41

So you got it. OK.

:: 40:42

It's wonderful. Oh, excellent.

:: 40:43

I'm glad. Like, do you think this sounded pretty spontaneous to people?

:: 40:47

I don't know.

:: 40:49

Maybe they can write in and tell us if it did. Yeah.

:: 40:51

Yeah. No, no, no. Oh, right.

:: 40:54

I shouldn't encourage them. I shouldn't encourage them.

:: 40:56

You're right. Thank you.

:: 40:57

Because we don't need any more if I see another belly button where my face is.

:: 41:01

Oh, it's OK. It's OK.

:: 41:04

Now I stopped. I stopped.

:: 41:05

I was going to cry and I stopped.

:: 41:06

But I don't want to see the I don't want to see a belly button where my face is.

:: 41:09

Thank you. Yeah.

:: 41:11

I'm more than just my belly button. Yeah.

:: 41:13

You you you are.

:: 41:15

Oh, I am we're getting a call.

:: 41:18

Oh, all the way out here.

:: 41:20

I'm going to OK.

:: 41:22

I'm going to I'm going to answer it.

:: 41:23

See who it is. Hello, Collar.

:: 41:26

You're on Greg Public Access.

:: 41:27

Is my baby boy Parker there? Parker.

:: 41:30

Parker, it's your mom. Your mother, Parker.

:: 41:32

Hello, Tom. It's my mom. Hello, Parker.

:: 41:36

How are you doing, my baby, baby, baby?

:: 41:38

Oh, I was I saw there was a

:: 41:40

I'll give you a quick just rundown of everything.

:: 41:43

So we came out here by the lake and there was a mud bath and a

:: 41:46

geese, but the geese wasn't the gondola goose.

:: 41:48

And then there was the old lady with the apple, but she didn't have an apple.

:: 41:52

But instead it was apple juice with kind of a

:: 41:55

parsley, but it wasn't a mojito because I know you weren't me against those.

:: 41:58

And then there was a man in a boat and there's a derogable too.

:: 42:03

But it was not a derogable.

:: 42:04

It's a kind of derogable that goes underneath water that the lady warned me

:: 42:07

about and then I got sick because a bunch of geese.

:: 42:10

They were running on my ears.

:: 42:12

And yeah, Parker, Parker, listen to me.

:: 42:15

What are you telling me about geese?

:: 42:17

You're around geese.

:: 42:18

That is so dangerous, Parker.

:: 42:20

Yeah, Todd brought me here.

:: 42:22

And I'm doing OK. I'm just have you taking your vitamins, Parker?

:: 42:26

That's why I called the blue ones, the red ones, the yellow ones.

:: 42:30

Yes, today I took them because he told me to.

:: 42:33

And but they might not be in my system because I took them and then I got.

:: 42:39

Well, I got sick near the old lady behind the outhouse.

:: 42:43

Thank you, mom. What?

:: 42:44

What, Parker? What are you telling me?

:: 42:46

You got sick again again.

:: 42:48

Yeah, because I the part that I didn't.

:: 42:51

Is it your tummy, Parker?

:: 42:53

What were you doing to get yourself so sick?

:: 42:55

My baby boy. I mean, don't say that, mom.

:: 42:58

I am so worried about you.

:: 43:01

No, you don't all the way out there and you got sick and now.

:: 43:04

So I don't make me drive out there, Parker.

:: 43:07

Spoon, I I I I lapped up a caramel macchiato that there might have been

:: 43:11

that might have been it was in the mud and the mud mixed with the camel macchiato.

:: 43:16

Parker, you were eating mud that was around geese.

:: 43:20

Are you joking me right now, Parker?

:: 43:22

I really hope that you're joking.

:: 43:23

That is absolutely terrifying.

:: 43:26

Were you at least wearing that nappy around your neck, the one that I gave you

:: 43:30

last Wednesday, the little nappy, the one that you wear around the neck?

:: 43:34

Tell her I was talk.

:: 43:36

Talk to her.

:: 43:37

She he was a Mrs.

:: 43:40

Spoon, Parker was wearing.

:: 43:42

He he was definitely wearing that around his neck as a bruise.

:: 43:46

He was certainly was.

:: 43:48

I don't know if I believe that at all.

:: 43:51

I mean, that doesn't sound like it was accurate at all.

:: 43:53

That sounds like Parker.

:: 43:55

I can I can I think I can hear your hand through the phone.

:: 43:58

I just want to talk.

:: 44:01

Hang up, mom.

:: 44:03

My baby baby boy.

:: 44:04

Did you take the blue?

:: 44:05

I took the blue vitamins, mom.

:: 44:07

Did you take the red?

:: 44:08

I take the mom.

:: 44:11

Mrs. Spoon, he's being a very, very good boy.

:: 44:14

I don't know if he is.

:: 44:15

All right, I just need to check my baby boy.

:: 44:17

Oh, by the way, talk, I want to say hello to your parents, Lester and Hester

:: 44:21

Chesterfield.

:: 44:22

Oh, that's really good time doing our pickleball last Thursday.

:: 44:26

It was an excellent match.

:: 44:27

Talk. That was wonderful.

:: 44:28

Yeah, I'm glad to hear.

:: 44:31

They they they are wonderful.

:: 44:34

Roommate and laws.

:: 44:36

Parker, how's your stomach feeling right now?

:: 44:38

I mean, it's it's it's evacuated at this point.

:: 44:41

And evacuate every single bit.

:: 44:43

Do you think you got them all?

:: 44:45

I'm sure some made their way through to my intestines.

:: 44:48

But that will be a later on conversation.

:: 44:51

Parker, I want you to come to my house.

:: 44:53

I want you and talk.

:: 44:54

No, Lester and Chester are going to have to Lester and.

:: 44:58

My goodness, this name.

:: 45:00

Let me think. Lester and Chester.

:: 45:02

Lester and Hester Chesterfield.

:: 45:04

My goodness, talk.

:: 45:05

Your parents have talk.

:: 45:07

Hang up, talk.

:: 45:08

All right. You know, Mrs.

:: 45:10

Spoon, will will buzz by on the way home?

:: 45:13

We won't. We won't.

:: 45:15

Parker, we won't.

:: 45:16

We won't. OK.

:: 45:17

Well, we'll we'll buzz by on the way home.

:: 45:20

I'm just going to I'm going to let you go now.

:: 45:22

All right, my baby boy, make sure that you make sure that you come by

:: 45:26

and you bring your vitamins so I can do a refill for you.

:: 45:29

OK, love you, mom.

:: 45:31

All right. Goodbye now. Goodbye.

:: 45:33

Bye. Bye.

:: 45:35

Bye now, Mrs. Spoon. OK.

:: 45:37

My goodness.

:: 45:39

Well, we don't need to pop by in Parker.

:: 45:41

Oh, boy. OK.

:: 45:43

We better get to the talking about Wunderwurst.

:: 45:47

Do we have to do that still?

:: 45:48

Because the Kale dog, the Wunderwurst Kale dog.

:: 45:51

Right. That's right.

:: 45:52

When I was waving to signal you, the person on the inner tube

:: 45:56

thought that I was DCM out there.

:: 45:58

Yeah, I see him.

:: 45:59

You need me to scare off your.

:: 46:00

He's pointing the flare gun.

:: 46:02

Oh, in our direction. Oh, my goodness.

:: 46:04

I don't know if you thought I was signaling him for a flare.

:: 46:06

Yeah. But yeah.

:: 46:09

Oh, and the geese are back behind me, too.

:: 46:11

So yeah, I saw them when your mom was on the phone

:: 46:14

and I didn't say anything on purpose because I knew that your mom

:: 46:17

would probably drive out here if I did.

:: 46:19

You want to hear a joke?

:: 46:21

OK.

:: 46:22

To lighten up the situation, the severe situation that we're in.

:: 46:25

Yeah.

:: 46:27

When you said on purpose, I imagined that you had said on purpose.

:: 46:32

And there was like a you ever see like how there's the corpus is can.

:: 46:41

Oh, now in my head, the porpoises are wearing the blue and white stripes

:: 46:46

and the straw hat.

:: 46:48

There's four geese behind you.

:: 46:50

There's four geese behind you.

:: 46:52

There's four of them.

:: 46:53

OK. And he's he's pointing the the flare.

:: 46:57

He's going to shoot.

:: 46:58

Oh, my God. He just fired.

:: 46:59

Oh, boy.

:: 47:01

OK.

:: 47:02

OK.

:: 47:03

Well, do you miss us?

:: 47:05

Yeah. But do you think he's maybe pointing at the geese?

:: 47:07

Maybe I don't know.

:: 47:09

Luckily, it got.

:: 47:13

Look, I'll paint the seascape for the viewer as he's

:: 47:16

because he seems to be of lost interest in us.

:: 47:20

Yeah.

:: 47:21

The flare gun went into the the the bagma.

:: 47:24

The mud and it has it has been put out.

:: 47:31

So yeah, that's that's good.

:: 47:33

Yeah, I was wondering because I can't see behind you at this point.

:: 47:36

Yeah, it did move the geese a little bit.

:: 47:40

They've shifted. Yeah, they are. Yeah.

:: 47:42

They seem to be doing some kind of a circle.

:: 47:45

Is some kind of a circle?

:: 47:46

You see them there like walking in a circle.

:: 47:47

Uh-huh. They actually look way angrier now.

:: 47:52

So angry. They did shift.

:: 47:53

But they look like they're doing something.

:: 47:56

Ritualistic.

:: 48:00

They say that most communication is body language.

:: 48:04

And it seems like this ritual is that kind of communication to us.

:: 48:07

Yeah, it definitely seems like they're trying to display a message of sorts.

:: 48:12

So wonder wonder worst hail dog.

:: 48:16

Yeah, we'll try to finish this up.

:: 48:19

We'll try to finish this up.

:: 48:20

Well, we need to go to another ad.

:: 48:24

The second one.

:: 48:26

So let's do that and try to recollect ourselves.

:: 48:31

Is that a word?

:: 48:32

I don't know what what corporate jargon should I use for this one?

:: 48:36

Just play it place so we can get out because I don't like.

:: 48:40

All right, let's peel back the onion and go to an ad.

:: 48:43

Oh, wonderful. Yeah.

:: 48:45

One of the show sponsors this week is Curious Richter's used books.

:: 48:56

Curious Richter's used books is down by the town square at 59 59 town square.

:: 49:02

You have a special relationship with that store, don't you, Parker?

:: 49:05

Oh, my gosh, you know, every it's it's you ever have one of those places

:: 49:09

where you walk into it and it's almost like in your mind, it's like you're in a far way.

:: 49:16

It's like an immersion.

:: 49:19

And you walk in there because because Curious Richter always has a candle going

:: 49:24

that smells like something from yesteryear.

:: 49:27

And yeah, you know, he doesn't mind if you go into the bookstore

:: 49:31

and if you pretend like he'll tell if you talk to him like you're

:: 49:35

a knight from like the you know, the 1870s, he'll answer you as if he's a knight as well.

:: 49:42

I know. And you love that particularly.

:: 49:46

Yeah, so.

:: 49:47

But I'll go in and I'll be like, you know,

:: 49:50

oh, good day, sir, how are you like a knight would and you know,

:: 49:56

he'll respond back with a night.

:: 49:58

It's kind of like if you are into LARPing, this is the place for you to go.

:: 50:03

Like there's no other bookstore for you if you are a LARPer.

:: 50:07

And we have a lot of LARPers in Greckleton.

:: 50:09

It's going to surprise you, but I know what that means

:: 50:12

because I see them all over the place.

:: 50:14

That's right. Live action role play.

:: 50:17

That's right. You just walk in through the door

:: 50:19

and it's like you're LARPing immediately and there's books and it smells like sandalwood.

:: 50:25

It's a beautiful scent of sandalwood, which is, you know,

:: 50:30

it's one of those things because you can then pretend like you're any place

:: 50:33

where there's sandals or wood south of the beach or a forest or.

:: 50:37

Or men from the eighties from the.

:: 50:43

Yeah, but then and, yeah.

:: 50:46

So he this is the our official.

:: 50:50

Promotion for him and his bookstore.

:: 50:54

Yes, curious.

:: 50:55

Richter's used books, used books.

:: 50:58

Thank you.

:: 51:00

Thank you.

:: 51:01

Greck public access.

:: 51:05

All right, we're back.

:: 51:07

You're listening to one on one point seven FM, the Greck and this is Greck public access.

:: 51:12

We're at Lake Corncrop this week.

:: 51:14

We're talking about corporate jargon and our sponsor is the Wunderwurst Kale dog.

:: 51:20

And we have a lot of geese around here and we're watching people go camping, which is nice.

:: 51:27

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's wonderful.

:: 51:29

And just so the viewers know, we actually took a break this time because

:: 51:34

normally we don't.

:: 51:36

But as we did, the geese have encircled us.

:: 51:39

Yes. Yeah. And they are.

:: 51:43

Well, they they you see that thing where the geese, they put their

:: 51:48

they put their arms up like this and they walk around all kind of proudly, but like tough guys.

:: 51:54

Parker kind of looks like a bear right now.

:: 51:57

Listen, yeah, yeah.

:: 51:58

Arms up kind of arms up like a like a bear that would be stalking you or something.

:: 52:04

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what they're doing.

:: 52:05

They're actually tough guys, which is fine.

:: 52:07

Because my my mom said we can stand up to stand up to bullies.

:: 52:12

Yeah. And that's what we're going to do with these bullies.

:: 52:15

With bullies. Yeah.

:: 52:17

I'm really glad I didn't mention that to your mom when she called in to the show.

:: 52:21

And worse comes to worse.

:: 52:24

We know where the lady with the anti venom is.

:: 52:26

So we're prepared. That is true. Yeah.

:: 52:29

Yeah. So I wonder how they evolve to get venom.

:: 52:32

I wonder if one of them did something enamorous with a snake.

:: 52:36

No, thank you. OK. God, I'm going to I'm going to make my run through the line.

:: 52:41

I don't care if they tough, tough or not.

:: 52:44

OK. Parker is is dislodging from the chair

:: 52:50

and is running after the circle of geese is.

:: 52:54

Oh, my goodness. Oh, is getting.

:: 52:57

Oh, the geese are encircling Parker Parker Parker.

:: 53:02

Parker, are you OK?

:: 53:04

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Parker is not.

:: 53:09

Oh, no, that's OK. OK. OK.

:: 53:13

And I'm back. Oh, my God.

:: 53:15

Goodness, I'm sorry, God.

:: 53:17

Hello. Hello. OK.

:: 53:19

Parker. Hi. OK.

:: 53:21

Well, I am bit multiple times. Yeah.

:: 53:23

But I don't know if you saw they never see that thing in when Ozzy

:: 53:30

Osborn, the people will jump into the

:: 53:34

the pit of other people and but they won't fall through.

:: 53:38

Like, it's not water, but they'll be on top of the people of the people of the

:: 53:44

people that was happened with me and the geese.

:: 53:46

Yes, they were by the.

:: 53:46

You're kind of like crowd surfing, but the crowd are angry venomous

:: 53:50

like corncrob geese. OK.

:: 53:53

Well, I'm I'm going to sit here till the end

:: 53:55

and then we'll get some anti venom and then we'll head home.

:: 53:59

Yeah, we'll find this the scary woman with the anti venom.

:: 54:03

Oh, well, it's time for the weather. So that's always fun.

:: 54:07

It's a sunny.

:: 54:09

Rainy.

:: 54:12

Wind.

:: 54:13

The weather is brought to you by wonder worst kale dogs.

:: 54:18

You can get them at all of Gragelton's grocery stores, except Barton's,

:: 54:22

who has a beef with kale as a food item,

:: 54:25

which is kind of weird phrasing when you think about it.

:: 54:28

Ready for the weather.

:: 54:31

Um, wet.

:: 54:32

You just burnt all about the weather.

:: 54:35

And that was the weather brought to you by wonder worst kale dogs,

:: 54:38

which are food items delivered in a tube format.

:: 54:42

We used to advertise our kale dogs as totally tubular,

:: 54:46

popular surfing vernacular at the time.

:: 54:48

It should have gone over better than it did,

:: 54:50

especially since Landlock Gragelton is so fond of the sea.

:: 54:54

Oh, it really should have.

:: 54:56

And we're back.

:: 55:02

Parker, you don't look like you're doing so good.

:: 55:05

I'm fine.

:: 55:06

I'll pay the seascape for the audience.

:: 55:09

Yes.

:: 55:10

We are here.

:: 55:12

Wonderful Lake of Magma.

:: 55:18

But.

:: 55:19

But.

:: 55:20

You need me to get those teeth for you there, but.

:: 55:22

Guy with flares.

:: 55:23

I can get it for you with those flares.

:: 55:24

Who's very pointing the flare gun at us again.

:: 55:27

He's not good.

:: 55:28

He's got poison.

:: 55:29

OK.

:: 55:30

And I'll get them for you.

:: 55:31

They've got poison in them.

:: 55:32

OK, he's.

:: 55:34

OK, he shot.

:: 55:36

He shot the shot.

:: 55:37

The flare shot.

:: 55:38

Yeah, he shot the flare.

:: 55:39

He got. OK, the geese are running.

:: 55:41

Oh, they're angry.

:: 55:42

OK, the geese are running towards me.

:: 55:45

OK.

:: 55:48

The geese have Parker again and Parker is definitely like

:: 55:55

crowd goose surfing.

:: 55:57

So Parker Parker is being taken off by geese.

:: 56:00

Parker is OK.

:: 56:03

Gone.

:: 56:04

They've taken Parker into the forest and Parker.

:: 56:07

I just see Parker's feet.

:: 56:08

Parker's feet are kicking and kicking a lot.

:: 56:12

OK, I should go find Parker and we're going to definitely be

:: 56:17

popping by Mrs.

:: 56:18

Spoon's house on the way home because Mrs.

:: 56:21

Spoon has a lot of remedies and I don't know if I can find

:: 56:25

that scary lady in time.

:: 56:26

Anyways, this is being a crack public access.

:: 56:29

I'm talk Chesterfield and you heard.

:: 56:33

Parker Spoon were at Lake Corn Crop.

:: 56:36

So be careful of the geese if you do come out this way,

:: 56:38

but it is quite nice for camping most of the time.

:: 56:41

And make sure that you check out Wunderwurst Cale Dogs

:: 56:46

at some point in the future.

:: 56:47

We'll be back hopefully with Parker.

:: 56:49

Take care. Bye for now.

:: 56:51

You have been listening to

:: 56:58

crack public access a StereoForest production.

:: 57:02

This episode was created, directed, edited, produced

:: 57:04

and talk Chesterfield was improvised by Jen Dahan.

:: 57:07

Parker Spoon was improvised by Adam.

:: 57:10

Additional voices and writing by Jen Dahan.

:: 57:12

You can find our shows, transcripts and sign up for a free newsletter

:: 57:16

to get notified of everything we release at StereoForest dot com.

:: 57:21

[Music]

:: 57:24

[Music]

:: 57:26

[Music]

:: 57:28

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