Loneliness is a huge feeling in entrepreneurship. Come and learn how to mitigate this loneliness and how to make sure you don't mistake feeling lonely with the act of doing things alone.

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All right. Hi, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Be A Boss Coaching Podcast. I am drinking bubble tea. I love bubble tea. I love it. That's all. There's a place near where I live called Bubble U. It's so good that I need it as I sometimes I do it as a dessert. So That's what i'm currently chewing on right now, so excuse my Boba chewing.

All right Today I want to talk to you about how to feel less alone In your entrepreneur journey,

I want to talk to you about this because sometimes we are okay with doing things alone, but it's hard to differentiate doing things alone versus being lonely. There's a difference. And if you're comfortable with doing things alone. Like me. I love doing things alone. I enjoy doing my podcasts alone. I mean, of course, I love interviews.

That's not what I mean, like interviewing other people. But what I mean is I, in terms of literally working, editing my podcast, creating content, working on my website or whatever, I don't mind doing things alone. I can stay home. I don't need co workers to be around me all the time. I enjoy it. It's, I'm an introvert.

It's, I, I'm comfortable being alone. I enjoy it. Very much. But I don't enjoy being lonely. Especially not alone. And my entrepreneur journey. And I want to remind you of the differences between being okay with doing things alone and being lonely in your entrepreneurship journey. They're not the same.

One of the examples that I can give you is

when I was in high school, well, I was in middle school in eighth grade, my parents. Their home and it wasn't too far. It was actually maybe five miles from where we were living where they bought a new home and Being in eighth grade it I was supposed to go on to high school right in the u. s. After graduating eighth grade you go on to ninth and it's it's officially high school And I was supposed to go to a high school where the rest of my friends from middle school were going to Everyone was moving on to the same high school, but being that We had just moved to a new home.

We, my parents had just bought their house and me moving out of the zip code where I was living to a new zip code, a new area, even though it wasn't that far from where we lived, it changed my school zones and it changed the school, the high school that I was supposed to go to. So I no longer was going to the high school that I was going to go to with the rest of my friends.

I was going to a completely new high school where I didn't know anyone. And I remember thinking how I was going to make new friends. Would I make new friends? I had all these questions, right? But I, I felt like I had no choice, right? I moved to a new school. I had no choice but to go to this school. And as humans, that.

is the type of experience that reminds you that no matter how comfortable or how good you are at doing things alone, you still need community. You still need to be part of a group, part of a larger collective. You can't go through high school being alone. You just, I mean, I know that people have done that and.

That's an experience that a lot of people have, but that's not supposed to happen. That is actually trauma, in my experience, in my belief, that's not supposed to happen. But if it does happen, that's trauma, right? So, You're not supposed to go through such a momentous time in your life alone high school right your teen years when you're developing an identity and I remember going to the school and for the first week or two weeks.

I remember Trying to figure out who where am I supposed to hang out? Who are my people? Who do I go hang out with? Who do I feel comfortable with? I don't know how I did it I think I just I I do remember my first friend that I met there shout out to my friend Gilma Um, I don't know if she listens but i'll send her this episode but um, I remember just Picking her out of All these people and saying i'm gonna be her friend.

Let me go talk to her but

I say all of that to say that You might be comfortable Being alone, but you shouldn't mistake that for being lonely. So in your entrepreneurship journey Even when it is comfortable Loneliness gets hard Even when you are comfortable being alone loneliness gets hard and we need connection no matter what You We need connection.

We need two sided relationships. We can't have these parasocial relationships or count on just parasocial relationships in our entrepreneurship journey. And if you don't know what a parasocial relationship is, this is actually something new that I just came across, which I really thought was interesting and I think a good concept to be aware of and know about.

A parasocial relationship is a one sided connection that a person develops with a media figure or fictional character they don't know, such as a celebrity, sports team, or cartoon character. And the person experiencing the parasocial relationship may feel a close connection with the media figure Even though the media figure is unaware of the relationship.

So even if we feel a connection to an aspiring person that we would like to get to, or a role model that we really look up to, even if we feel a deep connection to them, we don't have an actual connection. That's a two sided connection where they also are aware of who we are. We can't rely on just that type of connection.

We need two sided relationships where we can, that we can tap into, connect to, relate to, vent to, and. In return, we are validated. We feel part of a collective. And so in order to feel less alone in your entrepreneurship journey, if you are comfortable with being alone, know that you may need to get out of your comfort zone to actually begin to build relationships,

you have to make a conscious effort to make new connections. new two sided connections and face the fear of any judgment you might fear you might receive

or rejection that you might fear you might receive and learn how to create those coping skills.

Sorry, learn how to create those coping skills, coping skills that will help you deal with your Actions behind making true authentic relationships and you need a support system Right your support system could be your partner a close family Or a close close friend that is there to help you through the discomfort of making new connections

one of the things that I feel really grateful for is my partner and even though I'm not It's always really nice to meet people. Now it feels comfortable. Now it's sort of second nature to me to go and network and really connect with people. Before it was, it was scary to put myself out there and say, I am a business coach.

What kind of business do you have? How can I support and, and It's always nice to meet people. guide you in this process or any challenges that you may have. But that is not a confidence that I had before. Let me tell you, it was totally not a confidence that I had before. There was a time that I couldn't even say I'm a business coach.

I'm a business coach, but I'm a business coach. It is so wild to me that that just rolls out of my tongue now. And it's something that I can say to you right here, right now. And I mean, I, I'm just, I feel so proud because I've come a long way. But the reason why I'm telling you this is because I want you to come a long way.

I want you to get to that point, get to that time where you are like, yeah, I am a business coach. I'm a social media coach. I'm a social media manager. I'm an executive virtual assistant. I am a, a. expert consultant or innovator. I'm thinking about my, one of my business besties, Angel, um, who says she's a expert social worker and innovator like that is confidence to say you are an expert, like, damn, I have just.

Put on my LinkedIn bio strategy expert. And, uh, that was something that I was debating. I'm like, is that something I'm going to put? Yeah, why not? I do know strategy. I know the fundamentals of strategy. I know what it looks like to put it down on paper and then execute it. What? That's a different level of confidence that I didn't have before.

And. Any fear of judgment or like whatever random Dude who comes at me and tells me like why would you call yourself an expert? What have you done and where have you worked and where are your credentials? Some random dude could come up to me and ask me all those questions But i'm ready like hey, I may not have the giant roster of clients of people that i've worked with but I know my shit.

So I don't know, I don't know how I came to this point in my life,

but having a support system that is there to support you even in your moments of delusion is so important. So make sure that you have a support system and remember that everyone at some point in their life was afraid of being in charge. Even if they're the most confident person now, at one point in their life, have they have been afraid of being judged?

Everyone is afraid of being judged because again, it all comes back to the need of being part of something bigger, to the need of being part of a larger group or collective. We want to feel accepted. And if that is a human basic need, Then that means that we're going to fear being judged by others so the two Coincide toward the same goal the two The two fears are there for the same purpose but Remember that everyone feels that way everyone needs connection and everybody has a fear of being judged So your fear of being judged is normal

It's rational and there's nothing wrong with you.

Knowing those and remembering that is a small step toward that confidence. Toward the confidence that you want to feel in your journey. As an entrepreneur or whatever you are trying to do, whether maybe it's simply getting yourself, giving yourself the courage to make a YouTube channel or a podcast.

There was a time that was not the case for me. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be doing a YouTube channel where you see my full on face, right? But here I am.

And remember that it just, Takes a small step. It's just a small step every day What is a small step look like in the direction of your own confidence? ask questions surrounding your experience one thing that helps to Create community and build community Is sharing your experience and if you ask questions, does anybody else feel this feeling?

I will guarantee you 100 percent that at least one other person is feeling that way. And that is the genesis of a connection right there. If someone else can relate to your experience or your feelings, that is An authentic connection and when you finally feel safe to be yourself, express yourself authentically in a group of people in a supportive space, then you can say that.

You've done the work to not do this alone, to not be lonely in this entrepreneurship journey and make that conscious effort to make sure that you build community around you.

It is tough. I think, especially for those of us who, again, are really. In that stage of our lives where we're connected to that fear, connected to the judgment, connected to perfectionism, connected to shame or any sort of stigma that we associate with failure or, or, you know, Simply showing who we are or being vulnerable.

There's a lot that

Can hold us back in those moments and in that fear of of all of these things that I just named that leads to doing this alone and to

be okay or be comfortable with feeling only because even though you might be comfortable with doing things alone, you shouldn't be doing things alone. So I hope this was helpful. This was a very quick, I wanted this to be a very quick. Podcast episode, but I I was inspired by this episode because

no matter where we are in our journey I feel really grateful that I've come to this point in my life or in my journey where I Can come and be vulnerable and authentic with with you with my audience with whoever's watching this But there's a lot of peoples that are still inside of themselves that are still dealing with their own whatever On their own and

there is so much that you can open yourself up to so much community that you can open yourself up to so much acceptance so much connection that you can open yourself up to if you take the step forward, make the conscious effort. To be a little courageous, to talk about your experience, to be a little vulnerable.

And it just takes one moment of you stepping out of your comfort zone to begin to make that connection, to begin to create multiple connections and to Moving the direction of your confidence.

All right, that's all for me I hope this was helpful if you felt called or connected to this episode or you really want to connect with me Please send me a dm over at be a boss coaching Come on over to be a boss coaching. com and send me inquiry via my form or you can sign up to be part of my newsletter where you get more content, more blogs, more of my thoughts, my opinions, my own coaching, and my own questions to you that will help you be introspective in your journey as an entrepreneur.

All right, y'all have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you all soon. Bye.