Hello, everyone, Joy, and Jason is back. It has been a minute. But we are here to talk about the bullet train. Yes, I know it's a bit strange, but a bullet train as in, you know, where are you currently in your life? And are you going to stop at garbage'ville or is it going to be like a smooth sell to you? Hi there. My name is Nicholson. I'm an entrepreneur, digital marketer, coach, and mentor. I've been diving in deep for the last year to discover what it takes to become a successful entrepreneur, not just the fluff that you see on the outside when you see people that are already successful, but what it takes behind the scenes to become successful. What I have discovered was mind-blowing, millionaires think differently. They have unique habits, focus, discipline, and so much more. Follow along in this podcast, I'll be sharing my journey, the journey of other entrepreneurs, what makes them successful, but most importantly, how it can help you to become successful.

01:07

Let's do this. Oh boy coming to you live from garbage'ville. Never let's do this smooth sailing ball alright.

01:18

Let's dive into this. So I and Jason was debating about what are we actually talking about today because we have a lot of topics but sometimes we really want to make sure that it's where people are currently in their lives we try to make sure that it's at least in line with what people are experiencing as much as possible. And there's a lot of stress and uncertainty going on today. And you know, in the world that we are in today, and it doesn't help you know, and like Jason was saying like you it's uncovering your weak and your strong points right. And yeah,you want to explain a little bit, please.

01:53

Well, first off, it has been a minute so I Joy how are you doing? Hi everybody out there, hoping everybody's doing well. It has been crazy around here lately. For those of you that haven't caught any previous episodes, I'm coming to you from the States. And it is madness over here. We seem to be the best in the world at being the shittiest right now. And so that's the train that I'm kind of riding. Nice. The garbage will train.

02:24

The garbage will train. I'm telling you, we're full speed ahead over here. Yeah, so, you know, like Joy said, we come up with these topics to talk about. And sometimes you just have to talk about, you know, what you feel is right, and what's going on right now, and just start there. And so, as Joy mentioned, you know, it's a stressful time out there, you know, particularly with the Coronavirus, so whether you're in a country that is in the thick of it, or it's coming back, or you're in a country like Joy that they've been doing really well and it's kind of subsiding. It doesn't take long for you to turn on the TV or pick up a newspaper and see what's going on around the world and it's a scary time right now. And the thing is, all of us, we are interconnected with one another and with the universe, and that's pretty deep, but it is super important. Okay, why? Yeah, stress and uncertainty really have a magnificent way of uncovering our weak points and strong points of where we are currently in our lives. So like right now is an extremely stressful time. Take a look at what's going on that's really going on really well in your life right now, and what's not going so well, and you can guarantee that this is where you would have been in a normal situation, five to 10 years from now. It's just this scary time and uncertainty is really put you on a bullet train and fast-forwarded your life and giving you a glimpse of where you would have been five to 10 years from now, which gives you an opportunity to make things happen now, kinda like, hey, welcome to the future, here's what your life would have looked like, what are we going to do now to put you on the better train?

04:16

So do you think because people have been in lockdown, and I've been forced to deal because that's really what it is forced to deal with the situations at the end forced to like, think about things that I would not have thought about in 10 years, or five years, whatever? Do you think that is the thing that is putting people on this train? Because I mean, I've heard of so many people that are getting divorced, and so many people that you know, it's just like, it's family things that have just gone down the tubes and things where they thought it's like, oh, I'm actually in a good marriage, but meanwhile, they're getting divorced. Or my kids are actually doing pretty well. My kids are happy but then the kids actually turn out to not be happy, you know, little things like that. Do you think it's because we are just brushing it to a side and not dealing with it?

04:59

Yeah, of course, I mean, wisdom how do you know a leader as a great leader? Not when they're leading in times of amazingness? No, you're not looking to someone for help. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Great leaders make certainty out of uncertain times, right? These are uncertain times, place yourself in this uncertain time. What are you doing well, who is looking up to you? What are they looking up to you for? Who's looking at you going dude, you're on a bullet train to garbage will. Do you know what I mean? Take a look right now, at your strengths and weaknesses. They're more prevalent today, right now than they have ever been. Yeah. And which gives us an opportunity to say hey, what do I have to work on and be ready for the next wave of whatever comes along in our life? Do you know what I mean? Now's the time.

05:59

Is there like a framework to look into their strengths and weaknesses as a person? Like is there like something that you can just you know, like work or like a framework or a point system or something? You don't need no. Just asking. No, no, I get it. No, no, no, you know, where you suck. But sometimes people know where they suck, but they are too proud to admit where they suck.

06:29

If you know that, Jesus then goes to a car on the shit train, where there's nobody and start drawing it out. Work it out for yourself, pick up your? Goggles. We haven't had them in a while.

06:52

Yes, and I've got one too. Jason is very proud of me. We actually did an episode on journaling, like three-four episodes ago, and I also have a general so see I've also been doing it so

07:03

It works. I can say that much it does work, it works. It's an opportunity for you to not have to go to anybody else on the train. Like I don't have to come to sit in Joy's seat and poke around the shoulder and go, hey, am I sucking, do I suck? And Joy's not going to tell me because she's thinking, well, I know he sucks but I suck too. It's an opportunity for you to go sit by yourself open up your journal and write down here's where I know I suck. And it needs some questions to ask yourself in your journal to find out what train you're on because you're not quite sure we can give you those for sure. But this is a great place to start. This is also a great time that you might have some time on your hands more than you normally would. To start putting some plans in place. Start taking some action. We have done episodes on this before. This is nothing new. The world might be a little bit scarier than it was a few weeks ago. Which is all the more reason to watch these videos that we do listen to what we're saying, get off the shit train?

08:20

Yeah, you can get on touch make sure that you don't miss any of these episodes because they're good. It's a good value. And we've had quite a few comments of people just saying like this episode really changed my life. Thank you. So just guys, it's like it is value Jason no one is talking about.

08:36

Okay. Sorry, if you're not sure what if you're really really truly not sure what train you're on? You give me a call I will get your ticket. I'll tell you exactly where your next stop is. And be crystal clear and honest so will Joy. We met each other on the shit train. We were passengers together. That is actually very true. We have the same ticket, this train headed to you here about where we're going it sucks let's get off here. Should I do a better train?

09:19

What exactly we did and it's a decision that you have to make and this is the thing it's not going to be one of those things it's like yeah, okay I'm on this journey actually sticks it's not really working for me and you know, I've got some issues and so many this and so many that I just don't know if I can deal with this. That is all a form of procrastination. And you just honestly scared to change you are fearing the step the stepping stone and I mean, I've been there, you know, I'm not judging in any way shape or form because I was that person. And I can say firsthand, and I'm sure Jason can do the same like that stepping stone is scary, but it is worth it. And once you get off, you know once that train is getting into garbage will you decide no, no, no, no, no, let's get off before it hits, you know, garbage will, it really makes a massive difference in your life change so much. I mean, like, and Jason, I had so many issues with journaling. I didn't want to journal. Because I know myself and I even said to him before we started recording this. It hasn't been that fun journaling, because it hasn't, you know, I had to deal with unresolved issues of things that 10 years ago, 15 years ago, which I've been dealing with in my journal, so I'm not telling the world about my issues. I'm not dealing, I'm not sharing it with any other person. I'm just sharing it with my journal. And I have uncovered things about myself that I didn't even realize was a problem. And therefore you grow because you actually become better. You know, so.

10:45

And again, all valid points but understand no matter what train you decide to get on, yeah, the train will have curves and turns and it will go up and it will go down. But the destination, that's up to you. Yeah, that's up to you anticipate turns and curves and ups and downs and changes in elevation. Yeah. But where you're going to stop that? What ticket do you buy? That's up to you. And now more than ever, you know what train you're on. And again, as I said, if you don't call us, we'll read your ticket for you. We'll let you know where you're headed.

11:29

Because, yeah, yeah, direct inbox that's for sure. Okay, so so journaling is one thing that can help us to just uncover our weak points and our strong points, right, because, I mean, firstly, that really helped me a lot and okay, so we're stressing with stress and uncertainty we've mentioned this at the beginning of this episode. So Jase what is that thing that can help you except for the journaling part what can help you with the uncertainty, the uncertainty because obviously it journaling is a big part of the stress thing that can help you to sort that out. But that's not enough. What else can we help you know, that give people to help them with that stress and uncertainty in the current times?

12:06

I mean, you there are besides like, okay, well I can go out and do my breathing exercises or, or what have you and these little things to keep the moment or clear your head at the moment. It's about being centered with yourself. So you can be honest with yourself at all times. Yeah. And we've gone over a lot of these things before. And it's not only journaling is paying attention to how we talk to ourselves. It's getting ourselves into a state of mind on a daily basis. We're always doing a self-audit, and always looking at our ticket and seeing where we're heading. And all kinds of things we can do. There in every episode that joy and I talked about and these episodes, we come up with an idea of what we want to talk about but largely it comes from who we are inside and our personal experiences. We don't read a story about someone and go hey, look at this guy. Look at this guy. Let's talk about him. You know this stuff comes from us. Yeah. And so it's getting yourself centered with you your relationship with you. If it's not centered by default your relationship with anybody else or anything else on this planet cannot be centered. That needs to be taken care of first.

13:31

Okay, so let's this I don't want to talk about like divorce as being the thing but it's just like so common because seriously, there's been so many people that have rocky relationships. Now with you guys still being on lockdown luckily, we're in New Zealand we are out of it now. But it really takes a toll on relationships. And I'm not just saying divorce. I'm talking like parents with their children. I mean, even for me, I had some issues with my kids. And it's not because there were really issues it's just behavioral issues because things come out. You know, you're getting frustrating being in each other's space the whole time and being in lockdown and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like having a relationship and having issues with either your spouse or your children, or one of those, do you have any advice for people? How did I deal with that uncertainty because that is quiet that is hard for a lot of people, right? Because it's not something that you're used to doing.

14:19

When it comes to your personal relationships with your children or your spouse, your significant other, whatever it is, what a great time to start really understanding what's going on. It's much more than just been around this person for so long, it's just getting annoying. It's not that there are there's something going on that is making you feel that way and you are now succumbing to those feelings of he sucks I see it now. It's not that and this goes back to where I said this time of uncertainty, especially if you're getting stuck with one person or another, you're getting a glimpse of to where you were headed. Five to 10 years from now in your relationship more, more often than not. Either you're, you know, your basic human needs that we all have there's five or six of them, maybe you're starting to realize that, where you place your top two are not the same as your partners. I mean they're not there, this was going to fall apart anyway. But now we have an opportunity to see where we were headed relationship garbage'ville and we have an opportunity to check now say, how can we figure this out rather than just say, I knew you were always shit.

15:52

I knew it. And God sent us this disease to show me that you're garbage. Now's the time we can fix things with our children, with our spouses with our loved ones, people that we are now being forced to spend more time with than we normally would have it's a great opportunity to try to say, let's see if we can get out on a different train together.

16:18

So what if you're in a family situation? And  I'm just thinking, like the majority of people out there that could have potentially this problem? How do you deal with that? Like, do you have family gatherings? Do you just hit on, you know, like, because you can't just say like, okay, honey, we're having issues let go out for dinner and talk about it with the kids being around because you can't go out for dinner right. I am laughing about it, but I'm just thinking of the situation. So how do you actually how do you do that then?

16:48

Joanna and I fought for some time when we met each other we've now decided, no, I can't. That's not how we can go. Do you know what I mean? I would first start, you know if it's a whole family dynamic that seems to be crumbling. Again, I would really go back to the basic human needs that we all need as people and we find a way to make it happen and I would go through each one of those, each of those. Can you name them? Basic human needs go through those, talk about it with somebody who knows what they're talking about. And look at how you are satisfying those basic human needs. And that gives you amazing insight into why you might be clashing. And then once you understand how to do that you do it for the kids. Yeah. And now once we all understand our basic human needs and how we're satisfying those needs, now we can look at our interrelationships with each other. I'm not getting along with my son in this area. I understand why because he really values he values being, you know when kids are growing up, they want to be what is it different from everybody I want to stand out, and I want to grow up and I want to be an adult, you know what I mean? This is how he is prioritizing some of his needs, where mine is, I'd like to just be quiet. And you know what I mean and just let things be and not rock the boat. And I like certainty. That's very different from a child that is growing up and when you can understand that dynamic and that push, now you can understand how to work with your work with each other a little bit and better understand each other. And now it can happen with everybody in the family.

18:47

I'm trying to say this in Afrikaans, the five basic human needs. I know we  mentioned them before but can we just mention them in this episode? Yeah. Let's, I'm gonna have to write them down because I don't always keep the names right in my head. Number one would be a certainty. Yeah. And uncertainty. Yes.

19:17

We have the need to feel loved opposite of that will love being different, opposite of that we have the need to feel well, love would not be different. Loved, the opposite of love would be the need to be different.  This is what separates me from everybody else.  Your fifth human need would be giving back to others.

19:57

And finally, would be growth, how am I growing? We all feel the need to grow every single day in some sort of way. Right? If we're not doing that we're dying. Oh, yeah, we are actually designed to grow.

20:15

So you know, again, certainty, the need to have a regimented something, I need to know that these things are going to happen every single day. And I mean, opposite of that uncertainty. I need some sort of action, some sort of adventure in my life, something that's different from the norm. Right. Yeah. To be loved, I need to know that I'm accepted as a whole, by the group, by the family or by the people at work or whatever it is. Yeah. The difference I need to know that I'm different from everybody else. Yeah. I need to know that people love me for a different reason then they love everybody else. And I just needed to be a part of it. Yeah, exactly.

21:04

The opposite of each other. Yeah. Right. I need you to need to be able to give back. A person cannot be healthy and grow,if they're not feeling that as they go along in life, they can help people inherently love to help. They want to help. It's part of our DNA. It's how we survived as a species. We're not doing that in some sort of away, you may not know it, you're dying inside, and then growing as a person. These are basic human needs. And if your top two are not the same as somebody else's top two, it's not a bad thing. But there is going to be some of this going on. Yeah. A lot of times when there's this going on. Now we've given up on each other because we don't understand our basic human needs and we go to a therapist and if they don't understand and they're just reading it to you out of the book. And they're giving you the textbook answer, you're gonna walk out of there and you'll be even more confused. And that's why they say therapy is sometimes a place where relationships go to die. I love you all therapists. I do, but it doesn't work for each and every person. It's the truth. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. That's basically the gist of it. But yeah, so that's important. It is it's very important. That's good stuff.

22:33

I think that this is an episode because we...