Cindy Wageman joins us to share her remarkable journey of recovery from multiple sclerosis and the lessons she learned along the way. Her latest book, *Completely Healed*, dives deep into the connections between trauma, stress, and autoimmune disease, offering a beacon of hope for anyone facing health challenges. We discuss the importance of taking responsibility for our own healing and the vital role that emotional well-being plays in physical health. Cindy’s insights on boundaries, forgiveness, and self-care shine a light on how we can reclaim our lives from the grips of illness. Join us as we explore her transformative story and the practical steps she offers to help others on their path to wellness.

Cindy Wageman's remarkable journey from battling multiple sclerosis to becoming a beacon of hope for others is at the heart of this insightful discussion. We dive deep into her experiences, as she candidly shares the struggles and triumphs that shaped her path to recovery. Cindy's story begins with her diagnosis, a moment that thrust her into a decade-long struggle with her health. She recounts the emotional toll and the physical limitations she faced, but more importantly, she highlights the invaluable lessons learned during this challenging time. With a focus on personal responsibility, she emphasizes the importance of taking charge of one’s health and well-being, encouraging listeners to research and advocate for themselves in the face of medical challenges.

Her latest book, "Completely Healed," serves as both a memoir and a guide, providing readers with actionable insights on linking trauma, stress, and autoimmune diseases. Cindy shares her holistic approach to wellness, which encompasses not only physical healing but also emotional and spiritual growth. Throughout our conversation, we explore how her experiences have influenced her coaching practice, where she now empowers others to reclaim their lives. The discussion is packed with wisdom, encouragement, and practical tips for anyone facing health crises or emotional trauma, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration and guidance on their healing journey.

Takeaways:

• Cindy Wageman's journey emphasizes the importance of taking personal responsibility for our health and well-being.
• The link between trauma, stress, and autoimmune diseases highlights the need for emotional healing in recovery.
• Understanding one's past traumas can lead to profound personal growth and healing from chronic illnesses.
• Cindy's experience shows that healing is a process that requires time, patience, and often a shift in mindset.
• The podcast stresses that women are disproportionately affected by autoimmune diseases due to societal pressures and stressors.
• Cindy's story encourages listeners to seek help and support in their healing journeys, emphasizing community and connection.

Links referenced in this episode:

• cindywageman.com

Welcome back to the show. I am your host, Reverend Dr. Keith Haney.

Today's guest is someone whose story will inspire anyone who's ever faced a health crisis, emotional trauma, or the challenge of rebuilding their life.

Cindy Wegeman is a speaker, life and relationship coach and best selling Author with over 25 years of experience helping clients to restore physical and mental wellness.

She's been featured on how to Live a fantastic life with Dr. Alan Lichta, read My Lips, Cool Conversations with Creatives and recently spoke in the Cloverdale Women's Ministry of Idaho Frontier Wellness.

Her latest book, Completely How Understanding the Link Between Trauma, Stress and Autoimmune Disease Helped Me Get My Life Back, shares her remarkable journey of full recovery from multiple sclerosis and offers hope and guidance to others walking the path to healing. We welcome Cindy to the show. Thank you very much.

Good to have you all.

Good to be here. Thank you.

Looking forward to this conversation.

Yes.

So, Cindy, I'm going to ask you my best, my favorite question to start off this conversation. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

This is the best piece of advice that I have ever received is that, you know, we can dream big dreams and we can move the hearts of men, but taking responsibility for ourselves and who we are and what we decide for our lives, that will help us to accomplish all of those dreams. And I would say responsibility, taking responsibility is the biggest advice that I was ever given.

Yeah. That is so true.

It's hard, it's easy to always blame something else, just someone else for the things that happen as opposed to going, you know, what role. When I counsel couples, that was always the thing we had to get to. It's like, what did you bring to this relationship?

Yeah. Yes.

And I found that just going to the doctor and they tell you give you drugs or whatever to help you with your symptoms, that you have to take responsibility for, to research the information yourself. I'm. I mean, that is with spiritual things too. You know, you can't just listen to your pastor. You have to, you have to research God's word yourself.

You have to take responsibility for everything in your life.

Right. I always tell my congregation, make sure you bring your Bible to church so you can, you can check the references.

Not that I would lead you astray on purpose, but.

Right. But it's a very important thing for ourselves to do that.

Exactly. So your book, Completely Healed is deeply personal. I can tell from as I looked at it.

Can you share what led you to write it and what you hope readers Take away from your story.

It is a deeply personal story, and I. I wrote it after a lot of years of being sick. So I had to go backwards and recount all of those things that. The experiences that I had gone through.

And really, the reason that I am here today, I wrote my book was because I went through that season of my life of being very, very ill for about 10 years. It taught me so much.

It was my greatest teacher in my whole life, actually, because I was so open to what I needed to know and what God was trying to tell me. So after it was about 10 years, and, oh, man, I was feeling great. My life was getting back.

I was getting my life back, and I was feeling so wonderful, and I was telling people about my experience. But when I told people, I felt like it was becoming part of my identity, and I was so tired of it that I wanted to move on. So I went back to work.

I'm an artist. So I started painting commission work for people. I absolutely loved it. I had a wonderful life. And so our daughters.

I've got two daughters, they remarried. I mean, not remarried. They got married. They had children of their own. And my oldest daughter's married to a pastor in Florida. And we went to their.

We went to see them. We have these darling little grandchildren, you know. So we went to see those darling little grandchildren.

And my daughter asked, mom, we're going to have testimonies. Can I tell the testimony of when you had multiple sclerosis and how it affected our family? I was flabbergasted.

I could not believe that she felt like it had affected our family because I had done my best to keep it from my girls. And I had. That was a very dark time in my life. So I had pushed it down, down and down. And so when she said that, I was like, oh, no.

And so I said, yes, because I'm a good mom. I said yes. So she got up front, and she has long, long hair, and she had a dress on. To me, she looked like she was 8 years old.

And so, because my daughters were 2 and 4 years old when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. So they helped me a lot. They helped me. They knew everything that was going on. And so she got up there and she told us stories. And I started crying.

And I started crying. So I stepped out of the room and I asked, God, I said, why am I crying, God? What is this about? And he said, cindy, this is your story.

You need to be helping other people with your experiences and how you are able to Heal from multiple sclerosis. So I was like, oh, you're right, I had forgotten. And I knew that God was talking to me and.

But I. I didn't know where to take it or what to go with it because my life was so great. So I went back to school, became a life and relationship coach. I did that for a lot of years.

And over time, I decided that I wanted to help more people in a bigger. In a bigger communities. So that's why I wrote my book. So that's what that's about.

So as you went back to relive that time in your life.

Yeah.

How did you deal with the fact that you had to unearth all that pain again? I'm sure that you had buried and thought you'd moved on with. How did you work through that?

A lot of tears. A lot of tears. Because I really. I could see how it had affected my family. And that was the hardest part for me.

And I tried to keep it from everyone because I wanted no one to know because I had so many naysayers telling me what I should be doing, how I should do it. And so I just didn't want anyone. I didn't want any negative. And I. And I. Believe me, I had plenty of that. And I had to learn to combat that.

What I did is I learned to go to God's word, and I believed in his promises, and I would go to his word and he would say, cindy, I'm going to give you prosperity. I am not going. This isn't your road, your route. Right now. You're just in a season and you're learning. I would have to go back to that.

He was teaching me to trust in him.

You mentioned that it was a very dark time for you. How did your. From your initial thoughts. How did your perspective of the. What you were going through shift over time?

Um, it was. It. Well, when I went to the doctor, he didn't give me any hope. He just said that you will possibly be in a wheelchair.

And all my mind could do is go to. Oh. I had seen a girl in high school that she had gone through, had been diagnosed with ms, and she was in a wheelchair.

And I thought, oh, I don't want to go through that. How's this going to affect my family? And so it was very difficult for me during that time.

But over time, when I started studying and I took the responsibility because there was no one to help me, I took the responsibility. And it was back in the 80s where you just didn't have any kind Of Internet service, You didn't have anything. I had to go to books.

I had to go to the library, and I went to every health seminar that I could find. And you know what? Over time, when I started learning more and more, I found that I could heal myself of any disease.

There wasn't a lot about multiple sclerosis. I couldn't find a lot of information.

But about disease, I found that I could heal myself of any disease if I just changed the way that I was thinking and my lifestyle.

So let's dig into that because you make a strong connection between trauma, stress, and autoimmune disease.

Yeah.

What led you to explore that link, and how did that change your approach to healing?

Well, as I started studying, I studied more and more. I went to. I don't know, I went to all these classes. I tried to figure this out because I'm a person that I love. Wisdom, knowledge.

So I did my best to try to figure this out. So I was learning that, am I codependent? So I'd go to codependent classes. And so the more I learned, the more I realized that my emotional state.

I had learned some things through my lifetime and through my childhood that I needed to change. And one of those was being a pleaser. And what was wrong with that was you lose your identity, you. You lose your autonomy. And I.

So I started learning those things during that time that I needed to have boundaries and stand up for myself. In fact, there is a doctor, his name is Dr. Gabriel Mate. Read his books, and he. He.

He'd been practicing for 30 years, and he found that people that have diseases, they have the same personality traits. And multiple sclerosis is pleasing habit. Guess what? That was me.

So it's taken me a lot of years and a lot of time because those things become habits through the years, it becomes part of who you are. So I had to learn strict boundaries. I had to learn a lot of people were not pleased with me. Believe me.

We do love the pleasers in our life, don't we? Yes, we do.

But I learned that I was pleasing so much that it felt so good to please other people at the time. But later I would just feel terrible because it really wasn't who I was. So I found that I needed to take care of myself.

And so tell us what that looks.

Like a little bit more. I'm curious as you, because I'm curious when you say that, it just sounds so simple. Stop being a pleaser.

But there was more to it than that, I'm sure. So Tell us how you made that mental shift to. Out of that pleaser mindset.

Well, we all, actually, we all, when we have loved ones or bosses, we want to make them happy. Okay? So it's a part in us that is really a good part.

But the pleasing habit is that you want to please so that you will make the other person like you, that they won't reject you. Because when that happens, then you don't feel good later on, you have betrayed yourself.

So let me think of an experience that I've had, for instance, with my family, because I'm in the middle child of three daughters, and I'm. And a very strong family, very strong family. And I became the helper child. And so I helped my mom with everything.

I helped my mom with my sisters, older and younger. I helped my mom. My dad, he had a stroke when I was in my 30s. I was right there helping my parents all the time.

And I'm not saying it's bad, but I didn't stand up for myself. And believe me, I learned through all of this lifetime that I have to take care of myself. Because if I don't, then people take and take and take.

And you have to have your boundaries.

You have to know who you are and stand up for yourself, because I went through each family member having those boundaries, and it didn't go over really well some of the time.

I get that you mentioned in your book that 80% of Americans are dealing with autoimmune disease are women. Why does it affect women, you think so much or so seems like out of proportion to other parts of society.

It is. It is. Yeah. I've had a couple of men clients, some men clients, but most of my clients have all been women.

And I think that what I have found women underneath, tremendous stress. Tremendous stress. And what that does, you know, we have a nervous system that is. Has two components, the parasympathetic and the sympathetic.

And if that gets out of balance, our whole bodies are out of balance and we become susceptible to all kinds of diseases. And I feel that women today, because we're.

We have careers, we're trying to work, we're taking care of children, we're taking care of our husband, or we're going through divorce. And women are relationship people more than even men. We're relationship people people. And we're in that.

If we're in that sympathetic part of our nervous system, we are in fight and flight. And what that produces is the hormones, you know, cortisol and adrenaline, and it tears down our bodies. It Tears down our immune systems.

And that's one of the things that I feel like the components of the autoimmune diseases in women today is we. We're not. We're not balanced. We're not taking care of ourselves. Another one is we're an overweight nation. We're just overweight because we've had.

The food is very accessible, and we. I feel that it isn't as much. I feel like the food, maybe we could make different choices, but we need self control.

We need to learn self control so that we can lose weight because that leads to metabolic diseases. It's just diseases. Yeah. And I feel like as women, we're using food as an escape, as a vice. And I know that is very.

That's, you know, we all can have that tendency because it's there and it's available.

So for the woman hearing this podcast going, I think she's onto something. What steps should women take to combat this?

I would say you need to go to.

You need to either have a friend or you need a good friend or a therapist that you can talk to and find out what your underlying grieving is about, your grievances, as far as what you're going through, what you can do to change that. Because we're using things as comfort and their vices, and it's out of control. We're busy. We're not thinking about it.

Our taste buds are totally out of control. So I would say it's getting help. It's helping. And it. And it will. It takes time. Things don't happen overnight.

Everything takes time to change our mindsets. And so we have to be compassionate and loving with ourselves.

You also talk about trauma in your book and how trauma can manifest physically. How can you. How can we.

Can you share unresolved trauma, pain that you showed up in your body as you were kind of going through, reliving your accounts about happened to you.

Yes. And, you know. Yeah. Recounting about what I went through really helped me because it helped me to see that.

It helped me to review my life and why it was the way it was, because I feel that with even my clients, it helped me to go backwards a little bit because our past has a lot to do with who we are today. And if we don't deal with it, because our trauma. Trauma affects every cell in our bodies.

Okay.

And until we resolve those traumas, they're still there. And we can add damage to our. To our genes, to our cells, and it causes disease. Yeah. When I was a year and A half old. And my older sister was four.

I had a baby sister that died. She was three months old. And so during that time tells my age. But we had doctors come into the home.

And when doctors came into the home, they were your doctor and they took care of you. And so my parents frantically called the doctor and he rushed over to our home and my little sister had died. And he tried all kinds of resuscitation.

He tried all these different things to try to revive her. And my sister, my older sister, she remembers it all. She's four years old. And so I've asked my sister what was I doing.

She said, you were in the corner with your hands in your mouth. But my sister and I were watching everything. And that goes into your subconscious. And through life. I have felt.

Well, my mom went back to work because she couldn't stay home any longer. And she had been home with us. So she put us in daycares and we had people, you know, babysitters. And then I felt. I think I felt abandoned.

And I felt lonely, really lonely. And my sister has felt the same. We've talked about this, and we both felt the same. So this had a real. When I was had Ms. And in my book, I have.

I have revealed this story. I have, you know, told this story and told what it had done to me, that it made me feel lonely and I feel abandoned.

And so I had to work through that and that. Rewrite it. I had to rewrite that story that I was never abandoned. Kat was with me the whole time. My parents were right there.

They were just in their own trauma and they couldn't. They couldn't be there for me. And my mom was just dealing with her own trauma.

And I have had wonderful parents, but that we've all had small traumas or big traumas in our lives, and it has affected us. And it's just dealing with it and rewriting, rewriting and being compassionate with yourself. And it resolves a lot.

It just resolves a lot of pain and suffering.

Sounds like the words that you were talking about, the resolving of pain, are two words that we know a lot in the church. But one of them is forgiveness and kind of acceptance are kind of highlighted as part of your healing tools.

Can you tell us how you cultivate those to bring about healing?

Okay. Well, when I was sick, I went to seminars. Like I said, I went to all these health seminars. I met a doctor. His name was Dr. Singley.

He was from Weimar Institute. And he was studying the cell. He was studying the cell during the 60s and 70s, 80s.

And he was talking about epigenetics back in the 80s, and that gave me so much hope. And he was talking about healing your genes. So he was telling stories about himself, and these stories were like, okay, so he's a doctor.

He's an allergy specialist. And he said his hair was falling out, he had acne. He had all these things that were wrong with him, arthritis. So he.

He wondered how he could get well. And so his wife left him. And so he had these things in his mind because he felt that he wasn't helping his patients get well.

So that's why he started studying more and more and more about the cell, trying to figure it out. And so his wife left him with three small children. He said he was so angry. He was so angry with her, because how could you leave.

How could a mother leave the children? And so the kids would cry at night. He'd have all these angry feelings toward her. And. And this is what he said. He became a Christian.

And he said that he decided that those booming boys was Satan. Try to discourage him, trying to take him down the path of death. So what he did is he started singing hymns out loud.

He would go through the house and sing hymns out loud. He would say Bible verses out loud. He would pray out loud. And as he did, those. Those booming voices started getting less and less and less.

And I heard him say that, and I thought, I need to forgive Gary because some things have happened in our marriage.

When we were first married, because we had been married like, five years into me being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I thought, I need to forgive him. I need to forgive him. So this is what happened. I ended up talking to him because I wasn't a very good communicator and either was he.

So we communicated and we talked through things, and I learned that I could really trust him and that he was the man that I had always married. Because what happens is we build up things in our mind that actually sometimes don't even happen.

But even if they do happen, even if we have been betrayed, even if people do really bad things to us, it doesn't mean we have to be their best friends, but we need to forgive them. And they may never even know about it. We never even get a please forgive me. But guess what?

We need to move on, and we need to forgive those people, because there are some people in this world that they really can hurt us.

Wow. That's a powerful story. Thank you for sharing that. That's really helpful.

Yes.

One of the things that we deal a lot with in America and in our lives is stress. And you have some stress techniques, some practical tools in the book. What can Listers start doing today to relieve some of the stress?

And so many of us are just overdone by stress every day.

Right? We are. And I've learned some techniques that I use every single day. Okay, Those are breathing, and it's radical. Shoot. Oh.

Benevolent detachment is what it is. Benevolent detachment. So you can breathe. And the breathing, it actually lowers your blood pressure and it will help you relax.

So it's through your nose. It's three breaths in and then three breaths out. And you need to do that several times.

And as you're doing that, and you can even do that while you're listening to this podcast, you can start letting go of the worries in your life, the stress in your life. You can let those go. They could be financial problems. They could be, you're going through divorce and it's letting go.

And what happens when you have that? You're detaching from that.

You are letting your brain actually rewire so that you can start thinking of other things and even solutions to the problems. But when you're so obsessed and you're just so geared and so obsessed about what's going on and you can't get it off your mind, you.

You can't think of anything else. But when you have that detachment and it's very benevolent to yourself, it's taking care of yourself, you can start thinking differently.

Okay.

So I would recommend that.

Yeah, yeah, no, the breathing is very helpful. I know. My. My apple, iwash sometimes has a little breathing app, and I'll take the time to do that.

Oh, it does? Yes.

You know, it's so valuable that most people don't realize how valuable it is, but if they would just try it and try it several times during the day, it will make. It can change a lot in your life.

Actually, I've done it in doctor's office. I'll go in and do that during. Right before they do the blood pressure exam.

Yeah, there you go.

Like, oh, your blood pressure dropped. I'm like, yeah, so you're making me. You're stressing me out. Right.

And that happens.

That's right. So, Cindy, what's. What's your mission? What's next for you in the mission to help people with their healing.

I'm thinking about writing another book. I feel like people need spiritual walk every day. Those that are suffering deeply, healing doesn't take place most of the time. Overnight.

I'm not saying that God can't heal instantaneously, but I'm saying that he's usually very. He's very interested in our characters and who we are. He's more interested in our salvation, I feel, than healing us.

Although living on this earth and being healthy is very beneficial, I wouldn't want it any other way. So I'm thinking about writing another book just to help people along in their journey of healing.

That's great. As we wrap up today, and this has been a great conversation, what do you want your legacy to be?

You know, I thought about that. That's a hard one because I have grandchildren and I have children that I want to leave a legacy with.

And I. I feel that I want my legacy to be that I've helped people, especially in, in health wise, with their medical problems. I want my legacy to be that there's hope. There's hope. You don't have to be sick. You can be well. Life is so different when you're well.

It's just different. And God can use you. He can use you either way, but he can use you if you're well. And I want my legacy to be that I've helped.

I've helped people to be able to find that, to find that hope and to go on that journey of getting well.

No, that's amazing. Thank you so much. So on season six of the podcast, we have a special surprise guest question. I mean, so picking them between one and six.

How about five?

All right, this is the greatest among my favorite questions. If you're stuck in an elevator and were forced to listen to one song over and over again, what would you pick?

The Sound of Music.

The whole soundtrack. I love it. That's great. I love that. So, Cindy, where can people connect with you on social media and buy your book?

Yes, I'm on YouTube, on Facebook, Instagram, and I have a website that cindywegeman.com and I just want to encourage everyone to connect with me because I'm on Facebook and YouTube and I'm. I'm a car, I'm a gardener, and so I can. And freeze and you know, the younger generation like that. And so get on my website, get on my.

Get on my Facebook and you will see. You will see me, and you'll see me doing those things, gathering from my garden and how I plant and what I do.

Well, thank you, Cindy. Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom.

Your journey from diagnosis to full recovery is a testament to the power of understanding, resilience and hope you've shown us that healing is possible and it begins with believing we deserve it. To our listeners, or if someone you know as love is facing chronic illness, trauma, or emotional burnout, pick up Cindy's book Completely Healed.

It's more than a memoir, it's a guide to reclaiming your life. If this episode has resonated with you, please share it, subscribe, Leave a review and help us spread the stories of healing and uplift.

Until next time, take care of your body, honor your story, and never stop believing in your ability to heal.

Yes. Yes, I loved it.