EPISODE OVERVIEW

Duration: Approximately 42 minutes

Best For: Trapped entrepreneurs who keep saying yes when every part of them is screaming no

Key Outcome: A clear sense of what your own success actually looks like, and permission to step back before your body forces you to

She was running mental wellness events. Advocating for mental health. Then she sat in her bedroom wondering if she should carry on living.

THE BOTTOM LINE

LaKisha Mosley had a successful business. That was the problem. Her events sold out, she was on stages and tours, the money came in, and one night in November it all stopped working. A twenty minute breakdown that felt like a panic attack mixed with a heart attack. She did not crash because the business failed. She crashed because she was saying yes when she should have said no, never resting, never listening to the quiet voice telling her to sit down. If you have ever felt physically present at your kid's show while your mind was somewhere else entirely, this conversation is a mirror. LaKisha took 60 days off and the business held. Out of that recovery came Soft Simple CEO, a way of running a company that does not tax your sanity. The reflection running through it all is simple and uncomfortable. What if success never required you to abandon yourself in the first place.

WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS TO YOU

You built this thing for freedom and somewhere along the way it became the prison. LaKisha names exactly how that happens, and what it costs when you ignore the warning signs your body keeps sending.

Most owners chase a number because everyone else is chasing it. LaKisha hit six figures during the pandemic with no plan to hold it, and that pursuit is what damaged her health the most. Listening to this could stop you repeating the same mistake.

The guilt of stepping away keeps you chained to the desk. Roy and LaKisha take that guilt apart. When the corporate CEO took a holiday, nobody fell apart. Your business will not either.

If you keep waiting for permission to rest, the cost is your longevity. The statistics on how long leaders live are not kind, and pretending you are the exception is the most expensive bet you can make.

KEY INSIGHTS YOU CAN IMPLEMENT TODAY

Regulation before strategy. LaKisha does not touch email until 10 or 11am. Devotion, journaling, a morning walk. None of your productivity apps work if the person running them is depleted and in survival mode.

Stepping away does not mean the business collapses. LaKisha took 60 days off during recovery and client events still ran. The fear of letting go is rarely matched by what actually happens when you do.

Know what fills your cup, then book it. Roy's trick: see something that calls to you, book a flight or put a deposit down before the moment passes. LaKisha now does the same when she feels the depression coming. A staycation, room service, her journal. No guilt.

Redefine success on your own terms. Roy had a million pounds and was miserable working 14 hour days, seven days a week. LaKisha decided she does not need to be a millionaire, she needs a life that takes care of her family and leaves a legacy. Decide what enough looks like before the number runs you.

Stop self abandoning. LaKisha's one piece of advice. We lose who we are inside the roles we play for everyone else. Getting back to your own inner voice is where your best self shows up, in business and in life.

GOLDEN QUOTES WORTH REMEMBERING

"Success for you can look like a rest day. It can look like taking three months off and knowing that your business will not fall apart." - LaKisha Mosley

"The first big mistake that entrepreneurs make is their freedom ship becomes their prison." - Roy Castleman

"My business was very successful. The thing is, I was doing too much and what I was doing wasn't sustainable. I had betrayed myself and my body by not listening." - LaKisha Mosley

"I felt regret for the things I hadn't done. I didn't regret any single one thing that I had done." - Roy Castleman

"We have to stop self abandoning ourselves. Get back to who you are." - LaKisha Mosley

QUICK NAVIGATION FOR BUSY LEADERS

00:00 - Introduction: Meeting LaKisha and going back 20 years to a scary time of marriage, divorce and growth

04:30 - Failure as a redirect: Why owning every decision gives you the power to fix it

08:15 - The accidental entrepreneur: How a layoff and a severance cheque started a 13 year business

13:00 - Your business is your baby: The teenage years where so many owners get stuck

17:40 - The breakdown: A successful business and a night in the bedroom wondering whether to carry on

24:30 - Freedom becomes prison, and the loneliness nobody warns you about

30:00 - You cannot pour from an empty cup: Regulation, morning walks and not opening email till 11

35:00 - Redefining success: Why you do not need to be a millionaire to win

39:00 - Guilt, white line moments and booking the trip before the regret builds

41:30 - Conclusion: Stop self abandoning and get back to who you are

GUEST SPOTLIGHT

Name: LaKisha Mosley

Bio: LaKisha Mosley is a mental wellness led leadership strategist and the founder of Soft Simple CEO, a philosophy and operating system centered on clarity before complexity, regulation before strategy, and calm execution as a core leadership skill.

Connect with LaKisha:

Website: https://lakishamosley.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lakishammosley/

YOUR NEXT ACTIONS

This Week: Notice the moment your phone hits your hand in the morning. Hold off on email for one hour and do one thing that regulates you instead. A walk, a journal, your breath. See what changes in how you make decisions that day.

This Month: Take one thing off your plate that you have been saying yes to out of habit. Write down what you fear will happen if you stop. Then watch whether it actually does.

This Quarter: Decide what enough actually looks like for you, in a real number and a real lifestyle. Build the plan to reach it and hold it, rather than chasing a figure because everyone else is.

EPISODE RESOURCES

Soft Simple CEO, LaKisha's leadership philosophy and operating system, available through https://lakishamosley.com/

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READY TO ESCAPE THE TRAP?

Take the Freedom Score Quiz: https://scoreapp.atpbos.com/freedom

Discover how trapped you are in your business and get your personalised roadmap to freedom in under 5 minutes.

Book a Free Strategy Session: https://www.allthepower.co.uk/contact

Let's discuss how to build a business that works WITHOUT you.

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CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST, ROY CASTLEMAN

Roy is the founder of All The Power Limited and creator of The Owner's Thrive Method, a business coaching system for entrepreneurs ready to grow without burnout. As a certified Wim Hof Method Instructor and the UK's first certified BOS UP coach, Roy combines AI as a thinking methodology, wellness practices, and business operating systems to help trapped entrepreneurs reclaim their freedom.

Website: www.allthepower.co.uk

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roycastleman/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@allthepowerltd

1

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are in

2

the world today. I'm here with lakeisha, Lakeisha Mosley. And

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we're gonna just talk about some fun stuff. Lakisha helps

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ladies in business. Yeah. Find the most powerful self. Easy

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for me to say. I'm not getting my words out

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today. So welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much,

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Rory, for having me. I'm excited to be here. So

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let's go back. Let's go back to young Lakeisha. What

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were you doing 20 years ago? What was life like

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20 years ago? I was a mom of two, just

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finishing one degree at that time, working a good government

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job like my mama wanted me to do it. So,

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yeah, I was in the workforce back then, trying to,

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like, navigate being a mom and finishing school. It

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was a scary time. Yeah. Yeah. And how much growth

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happened in that. That time of your life? Oh, my

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gosh. From. From a marriage and a divorce to

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a mental breakdown, diagnoses. So now just so much growth

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has. Has happened. And I don't regret any of those

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things that have occurred. I think they helped build who

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I am today. But when I look at where I

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was back then and to who. Where I am now,

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I'm just like, oh, my gosh, like the growth, just

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the knowledge, the wisdom that has come from 20 years

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ago to now. One of the things that I. I

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often argue with my partner about is I love failing.

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Yeah. Because failure is where I learn. Right. My biggest.

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My biggest lessons have come from. From failing. So I

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said, oh, I failed that. And you know what the

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power in that is? It's when you can own every

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decision you've made and say, I failed. Yeah. Then you

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have the power of actually fixing it. Exactly. I love

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that you said that. Most people don't see failure that

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way. Most people see failure as something bad, but I

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feel like it's a redirect, Roy. It's really a way

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of whatever you believe in. I'm faith based, so I

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feel like it's a way that God's telling me, maybe

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you should have went another way. Or is that gut

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feeling that I probably should have listened to at first

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that told me, don't go that way, and I went

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that way anyway. So I feel like without failure, what

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are we really learning if everything we do succeeds? Yep.

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Absolutely nothing. Yeah. Absolutely nothing. So

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now you are an entrepreneur. Yes. Tell

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me the story of how you became an entrepreneur. I

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love. I love entrepreneurs. I think entrepreneurs are the best

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people in the world. Right. We see. We see a

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problem in the World. And we don't just talk to

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our friends about it. Right, right. We get off of

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our asses, excuse my language. And we do something about

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it and we go out and we try and help.

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Right, Exactly. I'll tell you, my story is funny because

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entrepreneurship was accidental. It was never something that I ever

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aspired to be. I come from a family. My dad

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was a preacher, my mom was a hard worker. So

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it was always, go to school, get your education, get

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a good government job, and retire. So entrepreneurship was never

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on my radar. It wasn't until my then husband and

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I had planned our kind of like five year wedding

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renewal that the event planning thing came into mind. I

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was like, I really like this. Like, I love doing

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this. Two weeks later, my job laid me off. And

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with my severance, I'm like, I think I'm gonna start

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a business. And hence, I started my event planning business.

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So it wasn't like, oh, let me just do this.

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It was all. It was just like. It just kind

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of happened because I was like, I never aspired to

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be an entrepreneur, but I do feel like it was

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in my bones because everything grew very, very fast.

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I started off doing weddings. You can't pay me to

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do a wedding now. I will absolutely not do a

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wedding now. I hate bride. I will not do a

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wedding now. But it started with just doing weddings. Then

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it morphed into more social events. And now my company,

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13 years in the making, has now morphed into a

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hub for mental wellness events. And so not only do

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I curate my own, but I also help clients curate

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their own events. And it, over the time, it just

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grew at to where I redirected, pivoted, changed, shut

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down, reopened. I've done all the things when it came

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to this business, but the journey was so worth it

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because now I feel like I'm really in my calling.

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I feel like I'm really where I need to be,

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and I get to help people build lives and businesses

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and things, putting their mental wellness at the forefront of

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it. You know, the thing about a company, any

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company is a company is your baby. Yeah,

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yeah. You start out and you have this idea. Conception.

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Right, Right. Yeah. And then you're like, okay, I'm gonna

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do this thing. Pregnancy. Right. Yeah. While you're just. Yeah.

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Going through. Then birth comes and you don't sleep for

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six months, And then

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the terrible twos arrive. Right? Yes. Yeah. And. And slowly

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you go through those years 6 and 7 and 8,

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where they're actually quite nice. Yeah, yeah. Nice job. Exactly.

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Then Teenage comes along. Yeah. And

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the thing is that when teenage comes along, this is

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where so many business owners get stuck, right? Yes. Because

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what you're trying to do with this. This. This baby

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that you birth is you're trying to teach it how

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to go and survive and serve your mission in the

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world, right? Yep. By itself. Exactly. And that's when you

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know you've arrived. Yeah. You don't have to worry about

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your kid going out and playing on the swings when

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they shouldn't play on the swings. Next one. Yeah,

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true. Yeah. So where are you in that stage now?

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Are you at teenage years or you at. Can you

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go on holiday for three months and not worry? I

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wouldn't say three months, but I could possibly go for

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maybe 30 to 60 days. I don't know. I haven't

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tried three months. I've had to. I have had to

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because of health issues. When I had a breakdown, I

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literally had to step away. I did think I stepped

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away for about three, four months, and the business was

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able to sustain itself. So I'm probably in between teenage

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and maybe the scaling part, because some parts of the

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business are new, so the. The focus only on mental

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wellness is the new piece. But the eventing, the event

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piece, the curation, all of that, none of that really

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changed. So I think I could be like, in between

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those two, where you still gotta kind of keep your

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eye on it, but you can relax and know that

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it can still sustain itself. Yeah. Because one of the

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curses and the pleasures of being an entrepreneur is that

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there's so many ideas, right? Yes. Yes. It's

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like, stop them, please. I call it. I call it.

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Excuse my language, but I call it the shiny syndrome.

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That is true. That is true. I'm glad you said

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it like that. We have to be real. That's one

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thing about entrepreneurs. I love us because we're real, real

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with it. Some people, you know, they may say, we

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have a potty mouse. But listen, it sustains me most

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days. So. Yeah. One of the things

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I like talking about is vision. Yes. Yeah. Because I

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feel when you have a vision. Right. When it's solid,

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and when you've given your vision to your company and

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your company owns a vision, you know, that's the thing

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that takes you through those dark nights, right? Yes. Yes.

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What's your vision? My vision is kind of twofold. And

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I say that because, you know, like we say we.

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Your vision is what you want your company to achieve

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in the future. But I have a vision of what

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I want my company to be like now or what?

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I'm hoping it is now. And it is a safe

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space, a beacon for women leaders who want to just

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build a life that is sustainable for them. A life

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that does not involve the hustle culture, that does not

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involve pressure, that gives them a soft space to land.

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I'm hoping that that's the vision that I am giving

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people. Now. When I look forward, I look at a

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global conglomerate of. Of a business that's aspirational

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for most women leaders, that has taught women leaders how

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to lead very differently, how to lead from a place

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of softness, using discernment, using their self trust to

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be able to grow not only just their business, but

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build a life that's sustainable for them. And I know

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people are like, oh my gosh, you keep saying that

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over and over. Sustainability is what keeps you common. It

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keeps you visible when we go in and out. Ebb

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and flow. Who knows your business or who knows your

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life? It's hard to separate the two. You know, a

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lot of people say, well, this is my business life

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and this is my personal life. I'm sorry, honey. Mine

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blends in the same. I don't stop being an entrepreneur

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because I'm being sassy, you know, at the time, which

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is what my grandkids call me. I don't stop being

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an entrepreneur because I'm spending time with my kids and

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I'm being a mom. I'm still an entrepreneur. It's just

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the role at that time is I'm being whatever it

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is at that time. However, I really want women to

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learn that you can have a business that

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does not tax your sanity. That success for you can

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look like a rest day. It can look like what

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you just said, Roy. Taking three months off and knowing

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that your business will not fall apart. 100. You've. You've.

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You've mentioned twice about your breakdown. Yes. Do

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you want to go into that? We can go there.

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This is how all this came about. Let's just. I'll

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just say that. Well, my initial first breakdown. So I've

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had two y'. All. My initial first one was probably

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two years into the pandemic. I was curating mental wellness

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events. Then I had tapped into this network of women

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and men who wanted to talk about mental health. And

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culturally, we don't talk about mental health in the black

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community. And I was proud that a lot of us

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was coming out and talking about it. So this was

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around probably like my 46th birthday. I started to feel

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really weird. But I'm thinking, what, girl, you getting old

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Just go get a pill. You gonna be okay? And

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the doctor was like, no, ma', am, you are severely

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depressed and I need you to go see a therapist.

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So here I am, the person who's putting on mental

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health events, who is advocating in the mental health community,

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and I needed help. That was a huge eye opener

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for me that says you can have all the resources

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at your fingertips and still need help, still not utilize

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them. They were right there. People that are in my

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phone, I could text and say, I'm feeling weird. I

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wasn't utilizing them. And so that was when I felt

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really alone. Because there was no spaces where entrepreneurs, especially

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women entrepreneurs, could go and say that they didn't feel

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a certain way, that they didn't feel okay. And I

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made a vow then that I would be the last

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person, if possible, that would sit in a bed in

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their bedroom questioning should they carry on life and not

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have a safe space to go to? So that was

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2022, when I was like, okay, I'm not doing that.

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So then we launched things. And I'm doing all the

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things, Roy. Like, I'm doing all the events, I'm on

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the stages, I'm doing tour, I'm doing all of the

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things. And here we come to November20, and your girl

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crashed. Not because my business wasn't successful, my business was

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very successful. But I was doing too much and what

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I was doing wasn't sustainable. I was saying yes when

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I should have said no. I wasn't resting. I wasn't

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nourishing my body properly. I wasn't listening to the still,

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soft voice that was saying, girl, sit down, rest, relax.

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I had betrayed myself and my body by not listening.

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And I knew that I couldn't go on that way.

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It was so bad. It was literally probably a 20

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minute breakdown, Roy, to be honest with you. It was

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like a panic attack mixed with, like a heart attack.

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But I wanted to die. I felt like the relief

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would be in me not being here anymore. And I

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was okay with that. Because what I was feeling was

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just way too much. And in that time, all I

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could do was cry and pray, cry and pray. And

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from that recovery, you now have the soft, simple CEO.

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Because I knew the way that I was going, I

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couldn't sustain it. Here I am knocking on 50, and

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I'm looking at statistics that say that women leaders, especially

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black women leaders, don't live long. We don't have a

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longevity as men because, not to say y' all don't

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worry about stuff, y' all do, but it's just a

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different way statistically that they say that women leaders just

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don't have a long life. Most people don't live very

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long if they're in a leadership position. And so I

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want to change that. I know I'm only one person,

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but I feel like if we could have different things

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that are like, show a different way of doing things,

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that longevity for women leaders could be a thing. And

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so I just think journal, prayed, walked, relaxed. I took

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60 days off from the business. It was sustainable. We

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still had client events, still had things going. But

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I really had to go back to me. I had

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lost me in all of that. And from that came

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the soft, simple CEO, which is just a softer, simple

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way of leading both in business and in life. Beautiful,

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beautiful. You know, entrepreneurs, the

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first big thing that they step into the role for

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is for freedom. Yes. I want the freedom. Yeah. And

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the first big mistake that they make is their freedom

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ship becomes their prison. Right, Exactly. Oh my gosh, I'm

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glad you said it like that. That's so true. Yeah.

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The second thing that we came up with that we

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never realized is a thing is entrepreneurship is lonely.

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Very. You know, you, you get super excited about this

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thing. Yes. Then you tell your family about it and

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after you've told them three times their eyes laid over.

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Yeah. Then, then

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you get to a situation where actually you can't tell

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your staff what the problems are because you need to

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be showing this, this positive face. Yes. You can't tell

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your suppliers and there's nobody. Right, right, right. There's nobody

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there. And yeah. I have a business owners community just

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because of this. Right. Yeah. Because we need to get

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together with other 2% of people in the world, will

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start a business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's

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not that many of us out there. Nope. Nope. Not

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at all. We need, we need to get together and

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we need to kind of come together and share. I

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mean, to be able to sit in a room with

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20 other people, you know, and, and actually have everyone

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have the same problems as you. In different flavors, of

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course. Yeah. But which is the same, the same kind

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of, you know, the same problems and different problems and

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be able to share those and to feed off of

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each other. That's so powerful, right? Yes, it is. Very,

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very. Community is big. And I think people miss community.

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Piece collaboration is another thing that's big. I love connections,

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collaborations and community. They are my three Cs. They actually

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help get me out of the pit. When I go

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into the pit. As someone who lives with high functioning

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High functioning. You, you sometimes are depressed, don't even know

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you're depressed. But when you have this close knit people,

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they can tell the signs like if I'm doing too

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much and I won't sit down or I'm texting like

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back to back to back. My friends are like wait,

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hold up, what's going on? They know the signs. That's

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a community. That's because I've connected with them and collaborated

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with them. They know what to look out for. So

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I love that you have a community for business owners

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because we need a space that is just our own

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that we can go to of like minded people that

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may not have the same problems. Like I, because I

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have a service based business, I wouldn't have a supplier,

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you know, issue, but that's an issue all the same.

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And I could maybe give insight on that because I'm

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on the outside looking in. Yeah, for sure. And then

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we go into this other space. Back to the mental

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wellness. Back to the wellness. And yeah, I see business

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owners going out and they start building the business and

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what they do is they build the business for their

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families. Yes. They build the business for the families and

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they put everything in for their families and they lose

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themselves, they lose their own wellness, they lose their own

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stability because they're giving so much of themselves. Yeah, yeah.

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And you, I know it's, it's a bit of a

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cliche, you can't pour from an empty cup, but it's

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so true, right? Yeah, yeah. You wake up in the

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morning and you've got a pot of energy, 100 energy

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and you start thinking about those things that were, that

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you did wrong yesterday and you give your energy away

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to that. Yeah. So you give 30 of your energy

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away to yesterday and then you start worrying about that

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report and the payroll and the supplier invoice. So you

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give your, your energy away to tomorrow. Yeah. And yeah,

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as, as a society we now have all of these

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tools that we can use. I do breath work, I

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do meditation, I do cold exposure. Yeah. And fitness. Then

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I try and do that on a daily basis because

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I know if I do my breath work in the

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morning it clears my mind. Right? Yes. It takes

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away, I know what I need to do for me

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to make me as strong today as I can be.

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So by putting myself first. Right. I'm able to be

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more for my family, I'm able to be more for

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my friends, I'm able to be present in the day

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to day life that when

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I was, or 20 years ago, when I was Starting

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out in business and you know, I would be at

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my daughter's show, but I wouldn't be there, right? Yes,

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yes, yeah, yep, that's true. Your mind's elsewhere.

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You're, you're physically there, but mind wise you're not there.

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I really wanted to start challenging that, Roy, by asking,

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what if success didn't require self sacrifice?

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Because nothing works in business. When your mental health is

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out of alignment, strategies are going to fail. No

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matter what apps you do or use for productivity, none

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of that works. If the person responsible for them is

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overwhelmed, depleted, disconnected, or you're operating in survival mode, none

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of that stuff is going to work. Mental wellness is

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not separate from leadership. It is really the foundation of

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leadership. So I love that you have things that you

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do. People ask me like, well, what is a, what

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is a soft, simple CEO day like? And I'm like,

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well for me it starts with being regulated because again,

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our nervous system regulates a whole lot of things for

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us. So nothing works if I'm not regulated. So I

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do devotion, I do pray, I journal. I go for

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a morning walk at least three or four mornings, you

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know, out of a week. Those things regulate me. I

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don't tap into email the first thing when I wake

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up. Like I may not get to email till 10,

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11 o' clock in the morning. You know, I don't

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really do those things like right away. I've learned to

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find what regulates me and what regulates me are the

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things that fill my cup. Some people, Roy,

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honestly don't know what fills their cup. So you know

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what they do? They just don't do anything. They don't

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do anything at all. So for me I'm like, listen,

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I'm not about to jump into anything that is going

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to throw me off of my game for the day.

364

I'm just not doing it. So if that's the case,

365

then hey, I'm okay with not being cool with somebody

366

or not doing the cool thing. I think we're so

367

focused on what people see on the outside. When we

368

have to really work internally for us, we got to

369

work on us first. You know, one of the things

370

you, you spoke about there was success and defining what

371

success is. Yes. Because success. Yeah. 2017,

372

I had a million pounds in the bank. I had

373

two, two IT companies. I was working 14 hours a

374

day, seven days a week. Yeah. But I wasn't happy.

375

Yes. Yeah. Now in

376

the last three years, I've been to 30 countries with

377

my partner. We've been free diving in, in between the

378

continental plates In Iceland, skydiving in Italy, you know, seeing

379

sacred sites in France. And is there a million pounds

380

to make? No, I spend it. All right. Yeah. But

381

I'm happy. Right? Yeah. So what is your success? Whether

382

it's going for a walk with your dog, spending time

383

with your family, what's your success? It's not just money,

384

right? Right. I love that you say that. So I

385

get dragged when I say this, but everybody doesn't need

386

to be a millionaire. I don't need a million dollars.

387

I look at what it takes for me to sustain

388

my lifestyle now and future wise, what I want to

389

do, I want to be comfortable. So a million dollars,

390

yes, that would be great. But am I striving to

391

be a six figure earner? A seven figure earner? No.

392

I'm striving to be successful at a level that takes

393

care of me and my family, that allows me to

394

leave legacy, that allows for me to have a fund

395

that my grandkids can use to go to college where

396

their parents are not taxed on doing that. I am

397

okay with being able to do just what you just

398

said. Hey, let me call up one of my girlfriends

399

and hey girl, let's go to the Maldives for a

400

week or one of the kids. I have a son

401

and a daughter. Tell my daughter, hey girl, let's pack

402

our bags, we going to Miami beach or what? Whatever

403

it may be, for me, that's success. That does not

404

involve a million dollars. So when we look at these

405

goals, I, I do this in quotations because I'm like,

406

if the goal is seven figures, what's the plan to

407

get there? And when you get it, then what? Because

408

I made six figures. I made six figures during the

409

pandemic. Ask me where it's at now. Because I didn't

410

have a plan for how I was going to maintain

411

it, Roy. I just wanted to get there because everybody

412

else was getting the six figures. I was doing what

413

I needed to do during the pandemic because everything was

414

really good during that time. But that was probably what

415

taxed my mental health the most, was trying to get

416

to that six figures with no plan and no strategy

417

of how I was going to maintain one of the,

418

one of the most foundational moments in my life. Picture

419

19 year old me living in South Africa. Had a

420

fight with my girlfriend. She told me to go play

421

in the traffic. It was at night. I

422

left home and I just hitchhiked away, full of testosterone

423

and, and I was walking up the motorway, hitchhiking up

424

the motorway on a Bad motorway. And a drunk driver

425

fell asleep and he came across the motorway. I heard

426

the sound, turned around, and as I turned around, this

427

Mercedes Benz was right there. Wow. Hit my leg. Broke

428

my leg in two places. My head went through the

429

windscreen. I flipped around as I went. As I was

430

coming down towards her, I saw the two people in

431

the car, flipped over. I broke my arm on the

432

side mirror and I fell into the white line. Fell

433

into the white line. Luckily, these two Samaritans were there.

434

They stopped, they saw it, and they put their car

435

in front of me, and I was laying there on

436

the white line. I call it my white line moment.

437

And I was in all sorts of pain. And you

438

know what was the most foundational thing? I felt regret.

439

I felt regret for not saying telling my mom I

440

loved her. Yes. I felt regret for not jumping out

441

of airplanes. I felt regret for the things I hadn't

442

done. I didn't regret any single one thing that I

443

had done. I regretted the things I hadn't done. Yeah.

444

And I didn't think I was going to make it

445

out of that. And I was like, I'll never feel

446

that feeling again. Yeah. Yeah. And since then, I mean,

447

that's why I say it's been. It was one of

448

the. The blessings. Yeah. Of my life since then. I

449

go, I decide, I do. And I live. Right. Right.

450

If I walk out this door now and I get

451

hit by a bus, I'm happy. Yes. And this is

452

really where. Yeah. What is the thing that gives you

453

peace and happiness and joy and. Yeah. I love learning.

454

I love digging into all sorts of things. Exactly. Do

455

I give myself time to do that or do I

456

really push for a number? Right, exactly. And. And when

457

you get to the number, then what, you know, what

458

is the big thing? My aunt taught me a lesson.

459

This was years ago when Hurricane Katrina came and hit

460

Louisiana, because I'm originally from Louisiana and I moved to

461

Houston like, 25 years ago. And I remember when Katrina

462

hit and she had bought her house like, a year

463

earlier. And, yeah, I want

464

to say it was probably about a year earlier. So

465

she had been building up things, like she was saving

466

to buy this appliance, and she was saving all these

467

little trinkets and decorative things for when she got into

468

her house. Well, she had only been in her house

469

about a year before Katrina hit, and guess what? Her

470

house was washed away. All of those things were gone.

471

They were. They were gone away. And so my aunt,

472

now she's 74 and just as spunky as can be.

473

But I remember her telling me during that time that

474

she would never do that again, that the next house

475

she got, she was gonna do whatever she wanted to

476

do with it. But we fast forward probably a year

477

or two after Katrina happens, and she gets, you know,

478

like, money was coming from all these different places. My

479

aunt is the type, like, she gonna get insurance on

480

the insurance. Okay. She don't get insurance

481

on the insurance. So she was able to get back

482

to a lifestyle that she was used to. And she's

483

a retired educator. And I can remember going to her

484

new house, and it was decked out, Roy. Like. And

485

she was. And I remembered what she told me, and

486

she said, I told you I wouldn't do that again.

487

So even now, to this day, at 74, if she

488

sees something, she's gonna get it right then and there,

489

and she's gonna do whatever. If she wants to do

490

something for me, the kids, or the grandkids, she does

491

it. If she wants to go on a trip, that

492

lady be gone. Okay. I'm like, wait, where you at?

493

Oh, I'm in Chicago. Oh, I came to Vegas. I

494

wanted to see a play in New York. Like, she

495

gives zero Fs about time or any of that. That

496

lesson taught her. Katrina taught her that I

497

don't have time. I don't know what will happen. And

498

we live in a. We have lots of time right

499

now. Right now. Exactly, Exactly. Exactly.

500

Why do we wait for things? And neither one of

501

us are saying not to plan for things. We're not

502

saying that, but we are saying, if it's something you

503

want to do, what are you waiting for? I have

504

a little trick that I do. Something comes past my

505

email on my desk. If I see an advert and

506

I sound like to do that, I book an element

507

of it. I'll book a flight, or I'll put a

508

deposit down, or I'll. Yeah. I've ended up in some

509

of the craziest places. Yeah. The top of a mountain

510

in France. You know, looking at a sacred sacred site

511

with my partner. Yeah. Free diving under the ice in

512

Finland. Yeah. Mexico or wherever. So I

513

want to do that. Okay. Book something. Yeah. Because we

514

have this idea in our head, and we layer up

515

all these things that we want to do, and that

516

builds regret. Right, right. Exactly. And

517

then what? Then what? There's a saying that says that

518

in the graveyard, there are more dreams and businesses and

519

ideas than that are present. And for me, that was

520

scary. Like, even in those breakdown moments where I felt

521

like, no Longer being here was. Was the relief I

522

felt, like you felt the regret of not doing X,

523

y, and Z, not saying certain things. And I think

524

this last breakdown was so pivotal and transformative for me

525

because my parents are no longer here. And for me

526

to stand before a casket of someone that you love

527

so deeply that it hurts. You can't get no lower

528

than that for me. But just for that moment to

529

pass, to say, like, you made it through that. Let's

530

get our breathing together. We can make it through something

531

else. And I think I came back with a vengeance.

532

People were like, oh, my gosh, girl, you got this

533

little pimp. And I didn't know I was still in

534

recovery world. Like, I was literally recovering from years and

535

years of saying yes. Years and years of a dysregulated

536

system, years and years of just doing things, just to

537

be doing things. Like, what was the purpose? And so

538

now things are more intentional. I don't waste my time

539

with people I don't want to spend time with. I

540

don't do things that I no longer want to do

541

just because somebody else is doing them. I no longer

542

do those things. There's a lot of intention in what

543

happens, because, again, I don't want any regrets. We just

544

booked a trip to Chicago, like, on a whim for

545

my birthday in August. And my daughter was like, we

546

doing this. Oh, we doing this. And for Christmas, we

547

going somewhere else, and New Year's, we're going, you know,

548

like, let's do the damn thing. What are we waiting

549

on? And she's 30, and she's like, oh, I'm down.

550

Let's go. But what a lovely kind of legacy to

551

leave her in that. Right? Yes. Yeah. That's so powerful.

552

We don't. Yeah. We wait for other people to give

553

us permission to live. Yes. And we're envious, Roy.

554

When we see people doing things that we want to

555

do, we're envious of that. And that's crazy to me.

556

Yeah. And I think that that piece with the entrepreneur

557

feeling. You know what the biggest thing that I speak

558

to entrepreneurs about is? What's the biggest emotion that you

559

think I'd be speaking to entrepreneurs about? I would say

560

their mindset. Guilt. Oh, gosh,

561

yes. Every entrepreneur. Oh, my gosh, yes. I work with,

562

we have to work through the guilt. Yes. Why the

563

hell are you feeling guilty? Listen, dude, that you're sitting

564

here, you've got 20 staff that all have food, that

565

all have houses, that all these things in their lives

566

because you made it happen. And you're feeling guilty because

567

you want to go away for a weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

568

I. I don't know where we get that from. Because

569

when we're in corporate America, because again, you mentioned prison.

570

We leave one prison and then we build another one

571

on our own. Number one. But when the CEO takes

572

vacation, you think they give a damn about how we

573

feel? When we worked in corporate America, they was gone

574

half the time. We didn't even know they was gone.

575

We had no idea that they were gone. When your

576

supervisor or your manager or your leader leaves, goes on

577

a vacation, you think they care about how the team

578

feels about that? And why do we care if we're

579

doing our part? So you're right. Like that guilt. I

580

think we all carry it to some degree. I just

581

got to a point where I ain't care. Like, my

582

team knows I'm out. They know it could be at

583

a moment's notice. I love that you say, I see

584

an ad, I book a flight. Like, I am leading

585

up to that now. To where, like, if I start

586

to feel the depression, what's my happy place? What's something

587

that makes me happy? Oh, let me book it and

588

go. Even if it's a staycation right in here in

589

Houston, I may say, oh, let me go stay at

590

one of the nicest hotels and I'm just gonna order

591

room service and I'm just. It's gonna be me, God,

592

and my journal. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm not

593

feeling guilty about that. Amazing. So before we wrap up,

594

I just want you to think about something. Yeah. What

595

one bit of advice would you be give the ladies

596

that you're talking to? Yeah. What's the one thing that

597

can make the most difference in their lives? I think

598

the one thing is to. To stop self

599

abandoning. Like, that's one thing that I feel

600

like we sometimes, as women tend to do. I. I

601

love how you even gently corrected me when you asked

602

me, well, who are you? And I'm telling you all

603

these other things, and you're like, but who are you?

604

We lose who we are with our roles, with the.

605

The parts we play in people's lives. We lose who

606

we are. We have to stop self abandoning ourselves, get

607

back to who you are. Get back to what that

608

inner voice tells you about who you are. Because I

609

think that's when your best self will come forward. Magic.

610

Well, thank you so much for joining me. It's been

611

such a pleasure talking to you. And yeah, I wish

612

the company all the strength in the world. And even

613

more. I wish you peace. Thank you. It was exciting

614

to be here.