In this episode, the guest, Lauri Smith, shares her journey of unleashing her innate charisma through a small but powerful change. She delves into the importance of being seen, embracing vulnerability, and using one's unique qualities to connect with others, thereby igniting one's voice for greater impact and influence.

Guest Bio:

Lauri Smith is a soulful speaking coach, empowering sensitive visionaries and loving rebels to speak authentically, tapping into their innate charisma. With a background in acting and coaching, Smith guides individuals to amplify their presence and connect deeply with their audience.

Key Points:

1. Embracing Vulnerability & Authenticity - 00:02:32

2. Breaking Free from Inner Critics - 00:04:18

3. The Power of Sharing Personal Stories - 00:10:24

4. Overcoming Fear: Owning Unique Qualities - 00:16:59

5. Inspiring Trust Through Openness - 00:21:04

Main Quote:

"Your voice matters. One way to help yourself when something feels off is to breathe. Literally, inhale. When we inspire air, we also tend to get inspired with our thoughts." - Lauri Smith

Guest's Website:

https://voice-matters.com/angels/

Welcome again. I can't believe a week has gone by, but I am so

thrilled that you're here to share in another One Small Change

podcast. I'm Yvonne McCoy, your host, and I bring

almost 30 years of entrepreneurial experience and passion

for discovering growth through the power of what seems like a

small change. So I'm so glad you're here with me, and I'm so

glad that you're willing to take this journey and see what's

going on. So one of the things that I like to say is

that our guests have had a major have had lots

of changes, but they've come to share one of the ones that's

important to them, something that was small and unexpected,

but sparked a remarkable transformation and growth either in their

personal life or their professional life or both. And I have to

tell you that this lady sparked a big change in my life

very unexpectedly. I would like you to meet

Laurie Smith. Laurie, thank you so much for taking

time out of your schedule to do this.

We have only met recently, and you have changed my

life. So I wanna thank you for

that. So that the audience can get to know

you a little bit better, tell them a little bit about what you do

and the small change that that helped you to do

it. I am now the soulful

speaking coach. I help sensitive visionaries,

ambitious empaths, and loving rebels who are speaking

from TikToks to TEDToks and anything in between

for the sake of some mission that they're on.

I help them to speak soulfully, which means that

they're authentic, they are themselves,

and they're also tapping into their innate one of a

kind charisma, which we all have.

And the one small change that came to me when

you asked me to do this is related to that.

Many years ago, probably 2004,

so 20 years ago, I was in my favorite

acting class ever. It was an intimate masterclass

style group at the Sideways Acting Studio in San Francisco.

And the headline of the story do you want the headline

or do you want more of the juicy? However you wanna

tell it. Alright. I'll I'll tell the juicy.

So, I had been an actor since I was 7 years

old, and there I

was in the acting class doing an exercise.

Most of the time, we would be up there with at least

one other person, possibly 4 people total. So, like, 8

people watching, 4 people up on stage working with his guidance.

And on this day, I was up there all by myself.

And people were coming in kind of throwing different surprise

improvisational scenes at me, not to be funny, but

for the purpose of stretching my capacity.

And I kept, like, doing that thing that we do as

humans to pull myself back together with

this kind of energetic armor in front of my heart and an emotional

mask and lots of jaw tension. And eventually, as he

did lovingly so many times with me over the years, he paused the

exercise and said, whatever that thing is you're doing in between the

scenes, stop doing it. And I

said, but I'm uncomfortable having everyone's eyes on

me. And he took off his glasses and he said, then you've picked

a strange set of careers for yourself. You're

an actor, a teacher, a speaker, a

leader. Part of you wants this.

Part of you knows you're meant to be here.

And it was like that cut straight through all

of my soul suckers, my name for the inner critic.

And even my inner critics trusted

him by this point and the space that he held. And I knew he

was right in my heart and soul. So I stepped

back into the up the exercise, and I

actively chose to release my

energetic armor, to let go of that jaw tension and say

goodbye to the emotional masks. And as the

exercise continued, it was like layers

of protection and resistance that had been with me

for decades was melting away.

And I felt like fire and ice at the same time.

And at the end of the exercise, I looked out at my classmates

and I could see and feel what kind of day

every single one of them was having.

And I now call it my first moment of oneness that lasted

beyond the acting because there's a way that you can have those moments all

the time when you're playing make believe with

with your fellow actors. And what I now know

the one small thing was, which is small, not

small, is that I made the choice to

be seen instead of half seen, half not

seen. It was like, really? No hiding at all. Here

is everything that's present for me in this moment.

And I believe that that was a vital step

in sending me on the trajectory of

getting a master's degree in theater and studying coaching and leadership

because that is what unleashes our one of a

kind innate charisma. Being

seen, choosing to allow people to

see us. And in doing that, then they see themselves

in us, and they're moved by us, and they're willing to

follow us if they align with us on the

quests and the journeys and the purpose that we're here trying to

fulfill. I I, you know, I think that's so

important because as, you know, the people that I work

with are entrepreneurs, and they're very good

at what they do. Right? What they're not used to

is having to sell themselves, if I can use that word.

And, you know, I don't like the word sales. I like

more the visibility, but they're not used to the

visibility. They would rather be behind the scenes.

And I think, you know, one of the same kind of

situations that you had that that for me was

really impactful was having to change

jobs and saying, I'm

gonna just say I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know the

answer. I'm gonna be okay with not having the correct answer, which

I had been my armor for so long, being intelligent

and being smart and having the right answer. And I just

remember how it was like a weight was lifted off my

shoulder. The first time I said, I don't know

what you guys are talking about. Mhmm. This is this is

it was it was actually to put together a curriculum for workforce

with some very academic people who went on for, like, an hour and a

half about this stuff. And when they they when they were finished, they

said to me, what do you think? And I said, I don't have a clue

what you're talking about. Do you

know? And they were like, well, how would you do it? And I go, this

is the starting point. This is the end point. These are the steps you need

to get from here to here. Mhmm. And they went, oh my god.

That usually takes us 3 days to come up with that.

And it was the first time that I felt like my

weirdness had value. Yeah.

Yeah. Same here. I always felt like I was weird because

I I always could feel what other

people were feeling. I

really tapped into the superpower and started to own it on that

day when I was like, wow. Like, this is part of what makes me an

amazing actor. This is part of what makes me a good speaker and a facilitator

and a coach. And yet growing up, I felt like the weird one in

the family. Mhmm. Because I was feeling things and knowing things

and sensing things that nobody else was talking about, or at

times in my life, saying, like, you're too

much in one way or another because you're feeling what

everyone in the room you're tapped in and you're feeling there's 10

people in the room and you're feeling what 10 people are feeling and you don't

know how to harness it. Other people are telling you to, like, not

feel it and stuff it down instead of learning how to

wave it like a magic wand. Well, I think, you

know, I I find

myself going back to the idea that our educational

system is based on an industrial model. You know, we're meant

to be followers. We're meant to follow the instructions. And so

anybody that does something a little bit different, you know, part of,

you know, part of the thing that we get from our family is,

you know, I say to keep us safe. So don't color outside the line.

Cows can't be purple. You know, that kind of stuff. So you're

embedded with that, and anything that seems like it's

not constructed seems strange. So I you

know, I'm the first to tell you that I I am it's hard for

me to think in terms of lulu. Mhmm.

So for entrepreneurs that are going, this is a little bit,

you know, wishy washy for me. What would you say

can you give some examples of how entrepreneurs

actually do use this and how they can get more in tune

with it? Mhmm. Using the the

small change of choosing to be seen? Yeah.

Yeah. There's seen, but being seen as themselves, not

just showing up the way some marketing person tells them to show

up. Yeah. Yeah.

Sharing their story is one that I'm you

know, lots of very good business coaches tell

people one way or another. Sharing your story, whether

you do it verbally or whether you do it in writing, personal

stories about how you triumphed in the

area that you're now helping other people with is one

way that I see people hiding from all the time. And

I and people will say to me, I

know everybody says that, and I don't understand

why anyone would want to hear that from me. Or they

wanna give the version of the story that's like,

a little bit of the introduction, and then they skip what is known

as act 2 in the theater, the the

part where it's hard. They just wanna go, this is what was

going on, and then, if it's The Wizard of Oz, you know, there I was

living my life in Kansas, and then this tornado came and took me to another

world. And then everything was roses and sunshine, and I went back home, and

it was great. They don't wanna go into the details of the

hard part. And the details of the hard part

is where people know, like, and trust

you because you are willing to be vulnerable.

It's where they understand that you are like the

Yoda for them, that you empathize

with them, that you understand

their pain. And what happens is if I'm

telling my story, people out there are making

them selves the hero or the heroine of my story. They're

going, I've felt that too. That's possible

for me too. That's one

huge way. And sometimes people think they're sharing the story,

but they're still kind you know, I was up on the stage acting,

and I still was doing this on some level.

At the very least, I had, like, a veil in front, and

at other times, I had downright armor hiding me.

I I've had 2 incredible

experiences, like, in the last couple months,

that have showed me how much I've been

hiding. For those of you that know my story, I

often say I lost a £150. What I didn't

say is that I was almost homebound and I weighed 440

pounds. And I also had another podcast

guest who basically said he made so many of his

decisions based on the fact that he stuttered. And I realized how

many decisions I was making so that

I was not being visible, that my whole self was not being

visible. And, you know,

doing videos on Zoom doing during COVID made it even

worse because you can only see me from the head up or, you know, the

shoulders up. And so between

that podcast and being in your workshop, I actually posted

a full a full picture of myself for the

first time in forever. Mhmm. And

actually started getting into, as you say, into the non

sanitized version of it. Mhmm. You know?

And, if you don't mind, I'll tell the the

the incident I had at your soulful

open mic. I had a child this is probably jumping from one

to the other, but I had a childhood situation where I

practiced a speech with a drama coach, my English coach,

for months that was memorized, and I hated to

go last because I didn't like see other people make their mistakes.

And, you know, I got up on the stage to give the talk and something

in my brain glitched, and I totally forgot the talk.

And I said, like, the first, you know, the first phrase and have no

idea what I said after that. But I came off the screen off

the stage crying because I I didn't know what I said.

And my teacher said, you did a great job. Nobody knew

that you forgot your speech. And after that, I absolutely,

you know, did not write I mean, I did bullet points, but I did not

write speeches because I didn't wanna forget it. And I had an opportunity

to go to Laurie's workshop and decided to read something.

And I have to also tell you that as a kid, I couldn't read. So

reading out loud has always been a scary thing for me even as an

adult. Anyway, so we get to the workshop. I'm so

excited, you know, that I'm gonna try something new, and

Laurie does some of her acting

production stuff, and I'm about to read something.

And honest to god, my

I was so terrified. I had not felt that way since I was in

9th grade, and we're talking multi decades ago.

But it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And so,

you know, shedding that outside, you know, finding the

things that are holding you back. And the thing

is, that was something as a

child that I don't have to be afraid of

now at all. I mean, and

and and, you know, just to release that,

I don't know, that anchor or whatever, you know, you wanna, you know

so, what it, yeah, what it

seems like to me happened is

it's like the the fear and the terror

from when you were in 9th grade came back.

Oh, yeah. And it's probably been

stored in your body the whole time. And when you

started breathing and showing up differently, what I

usually tell people is the way out is through. You can't suppress it

and unleash your one of a kind radiance. It's

about breathing and being present

and going through it. And that's what you so

courageously did in that moment in the soulful speaking

open mic. As you felt it come up, you actually said aloud

what was happening for you, and then you went ahead and

talked to the whole room, and what happens is, you know, there's that phrase, what

you resist persists. Mhmm. If you stop resisting

it, it has the chance to move. And it moved for you in, I

think, what was like a 2 minute speaking moment.

It shifted a little or a lot. Well, for me, it shifted

a lot. I mean, so it was kinda like somebody took the cork off a

bottle and it Yeah. You know?

Yeah. I I kinda wanna take us back to people who are saying, I don't

know what these people are talking about. Yeah. You

know? I think

the reason that this is so important again,

I'm going back to the industrial age. It we have

moved from having to be an expert and have

a massive amount of information to a place in the

informational age where information is available everywhere and people need to

know how to use it. And you

people need to when they can have so many

multiple choices, they need to be able to trust you.

And when they see that you're

open, that you are,

you've done gone through some of the same things that they've gone through,

that you are not you know, what

I used to say to people is don't put yourself on a pedestal because you'll

only get knocked off. I mean, one of the things I always say is I

don't know all the answers. You know, 1, because I'm not that

smart, and 2, because the answers keep changing. But I will help

you find it. If I don't know it, I will help you find them.

Right? We'll both be smarter for that. And that

takes a huge weight off. And and I think when you can

be yourself, your head sticks up above the

crowd where the people that are better clients

for you, the people who need what you have. And when

people need what you have, they're willing to pay more for it. So you

can actually work less, let work less hard.

Mhmm. Have more fun and make more money. That's why

this is important. Yeah. Absolutely. And

you you mentioned the industrial era a couple of times.

I believe that most of the speaking training that people

are being exposed to, it has its

roots in the industrial era. Leaders,

air quotes, back when, you know, we were in the industrial

explosion were managers on factory floors who all needed

to look the same, say the exact same things, and that's not where

we are anymore. And a lot of

people who are starting businesses today, they're doing so

because they have something unique to bring to the market.

And another small change or a clarification on the small change

that occurred to me in part because of your story is that

it's sort of like, where do you where are you

holding back? And what you

did was you went toward where you were holding back. You took a

full body picture of yourself. For me, it was this

sensation of physical tension and kind of walling myself

off. That's a real

key for people because if they notice where there's a

voice kind of nudging them forward, but they're holding

back, Or what do you think is weird about yourself?

And turn it around and understand

that that thing that you think is weird is

actually the thing that makes you unique and different, and it's the thing that your

clients are going to be attracted to. But you have to

find the ways to kind of expand into it, whether it's taking a full

body picture of yourself or telling your story or

I don't know what it is, but I'm guessing people listening have a, like, oh,

shoot. I know what it is for me. Go toward

it. Go toward it. Go toward it. Go toward it.

I I tell people to think about the things that your

family say to you. The the negative thing, which is like,

oh, she always does this or she oh, of

course, she did that. I mean, your family thinks that it's

weird and it makes you not fit in, but it is the thing that makes

you fantastic. I mean Yeah. So

in my family, one of the things that, people

always talk about is that I tend I I fix problems.

Okay. I come up with solutions, practical solutions for people.

Mhmm. And they're like, you know and and the bad side of

that is that, you know, my kids will say my as they were growing up,

they'd say, mom, You know, they would call and say, I'm

sick. And I'd say, did you take something for this?

And they would say, mom, say, I'm sorry that you don't feel

well. You know, you know, how long has it been you know, show a

little empathy, you know. But I'm like, hey. Got a problem? Do something about

it. You know? Mhmm. But I'm very practical. Right?

I want you to get results. But, you know,

you have kinda, you know, a muscle that's used too much can still be a

bad thing. But Yeah. But if you see the thing that

makes you I mean, I've learned that my sense of humor

is kinda wicked at times, but I enjoy it and

peep my best clients enjoy it. And so Yeah. Instead of trying to

be so professional and, you know Yeah. Go with

it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And even your

the not knowing that you said happened,

I feel like that's how when you own that and

somebody's talking to you about their business or they're planning a class

and it doesn't make any sense to you, it helps you

help them make it make sense. Like, if they're trying to market

and you don't understand it, then I'm not gonna understand it, and I might be

their ideal soulmate customer. Yeah. And you made

me remember a moment with one of my mentors, Katherine Fitzmaurice.

She was a voice teacher. We were working on Shakespeare monologues,

and I'm sitting in the corner of the room feeling like an imposter

because these people are doing these Shakespeare monologues, and everybody else in

the room seems to know every single

word that wrote by heart and understand it,

and I don't. And I'm, like, sitting there, like, hiding,

feeling like a fraud. And, eventually, she

says, I don't understand it. And that's

how I'm a barometer for the audience. If I don't understand you, there's

a problem. So I go in and we work on what I don't

understand. And by the time we're done, hopefully, I understand it, which

means your audience will understand it. And my mind felt like it

blew all over the ceiling because she let

me know in that moment that sometimes my not knowing,

instead of pretending I knew, it was, well, if I don't know,

then your average audience who's never heard a word of Shakespeare is really

not gonna know. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I hate to do

this, but could you and I think could, you know,

could just keep going on. So I wanna make sure that you tell

everybody what your freebie is for them.

Yes. I have a quiz. It

is, the soul sucker quiz. So you take the quiz

and you find out which soul soul sucker, aka inner

critic, is actually holding you back from

stepping into the charismatic speaker that you were born to

be. And not only this, that's probably also

gonna be the the charismatic coach or,

you know, healer, whatever that you were meant to be.

So,

let me do this just to make sure we don't run out of time.

We've got the free gift, so I want make sure everybody takes advantage of that.

The other thing that I like to ask my guests was when was the last

time that you did something for the first time?

What have I done for the first time recently?

I went to Paris for the first time for my honeymoon.

That was in 2022. I think I've probably done something in between now and then,

but Paris was, like, on the horizon for

many, many, many years, and it was it was

amazing. Yeah. Okay.

So whether it's travel or whether you get up and

speak at a time when you feel scared,

you know, we can always do something new for the first time.

So just to make sure that I do the things that I'm supposed to do,

make sure you subscribe and share this, and I wanna make sure that,

you take away the things that can really help you in your business.

And it's my way to kinda give back to the community to help you to

grow your business and grow your impact. Because if you're

hiding, if you're letting something in your

background hold you from getting out in front of other people, it's gonna be

really hard for you to, have the impact that you want.

And so I'm really glad that you joined me for the one small

change. And, Laurie, do you have any,

like, last words you wanna give everybody? I

think my last word of,

I'll I'll share. I want your

listeners to know that their voice matters.

Mhmm. And

one way to help themselves, whether it's

speaking or in life, when they feel like something is

off or they're freezing is to breathe.

And I mean, literally, if I could go back in time to the 9th grade

version of you who froze up and whispered in your

ear, inhale.

Inspire is one of my favorite words in the English language because when

we inspire air, we also tend to get inspired with

our thoughts. And feeling like we have nowhere

to go and we're stuck turns into, woah,

options, possibilities are flooding in as

I inhale. That

really hits a chord with me. So our time is running out,

and I wanna make sure that you remember that change can be

simple, but it's not always easy. And it requires

courage, resilience, and a willingness to step outside your comfort

zone. And so I hope that you will join me again for

another One Small Change where we embark on a journey of bold vision

and innovative possibilities. And until then, till I see

you next week, enjoy what Lori brought you, and thanks

for joining us. Thank you, Lori. Thank you.