Listener Question Episode: Bec drops the kids at school, the kitchen's a mess, and she can't let herself eat breakfast until it's clean. Loads the washing on too — wouldn't want to waste time. She finally sits down at 11am. She's wondering if it's an ADHD thing or if she's just weird. She's not weird. She's been trying the wrong strategy on the wrong problem for years.
What We Cover
- Bec's voicemail, the kitchen, the load of washing on while she eats, 11am breakfast
- Why "you deserve rest, mama" advice slides right off — and why feeling worse after reading it isn't a personal failure
- The four different drivers underneath one behaviour — same cry on the surface, completely different things going on inside
- A four-question audio quiz to figure out which one is the loudest in you
- Why every behaviour you're stuck in is meeting a need — and you can't change it until you know which one
- Why my dad and my 80-year-old grandma chainsawing down a tree while telling each other to sit down haunts me — and why I'm watching my daughter start to do it too
- The advice isn't wrong. It's just for the wrong problem.
Free Resources
Facebook Group — come tell me and join the fun: https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
Breaking Free from Unhealthy Habits Kit — for the loops you can't seem to break: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/breaking-unhealthy-habits-adhd-mums-kit/
Paid Resource
ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/
Related Episodes
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313
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👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
References
Volkow et al. — Deficits in the brain's reward system in ADHD. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090908193432.htm
Furukawa et al. — Abnormal striatal BOLD responses to reward anticipation and reward delivery in ADHD. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3935853/
Aarts et al. — Reward modulation of cognitive function in adult ADHD: the role of striatal dopamine. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25485641/
Panagiotidi et al. — Altered somatosensory processing in adult ADHD. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11323665/
Neurodivergent Insights — Sensory Overload in ADHD (cites Miller et al. 2017). https://neurodivergentinsights.com/sensory-overload-in-adhd/
Attachment Project — Unrelenting Standards / Hypercriticalness Schema. https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/unrealiting-standards/
Bay Area CBT Center — Unpacking the Unrelenting Standards Schema. https://bayareacbtcenter.com/unpacking-the-unrelenting-standards-schema/
IFS Institute — Internal Family Systems Model Outline. https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline
Positive Psychology — Internal Family Systems Therapy: 8 Worksheets and Exercises. https://positivepsychology.com/internal-family-systems-therapy/
