It’s easy in fostering to lose focus on making your marriage the higher priority. Learn how to change that mindset and keep your marriage priority #1.

Introduction

Today we’re talking about making foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around. 

What holds couples back from keeping their marriage the higher priority:

• We place more importance on fostering than the marriage
• Seeking worth from fostering and your kids 
• If your beliefs (possibly driven by lies, assumptions, “kids are more important”, etc) then your decision/behaviors will follow those beliefs
• Fostering being possibly the only important thing you have in common
• Therefore, it’s what you talk about and focus on constantly

2 keys to keeping your marriage the higher priority:

Key #1 - Mindset 

• Both people actually believe that the marriage is more important
• Beliefs:
• It’s critical to lead and shepherd your family
• It’s our job to make our kids healthy, strong, and good decision makers
• Our family will do better when we’re unified
• Every team needs 1 leader and the more unified you are, it’s as if there’s only 1 leader (but we bring different gifts and talents to the family)
• Communication is better
• Gives the kids more consistency and therefore, security and stability

Key #2 - Healthy accountability

• Healthy accountability is lovingly helping someone succeed
• In this case, it’s to succeed in marriage and as parents
• Discuss what holds people back from having healthy accountability
• Taking things personally
• Pride
• Defensiveness
• Fear
• Making assumptions
• Not asking questions
• Losing worth in the discussion
• Feeling out of control
• Approaching your spouse in a loving way to discuss the problem
• Humility and practicing receiving what your spouse is saying

Conclusion

Two BIG keys to make foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around.

1. Mindset
2. Healthy accountability