Meet 97-year-old Mary Alice Husted, a devoted wife, mother, and grandmother, whose deep faith and family-centered life have guided her through nearly a century of joys and challenges. In this episode, Mary Alice shares her reflections on growing up in Monroe, Louisiana, her marriage to the love of her life, Bill, and how her faith helped her navigate the loss of loved ones, including her father, husband, son, and great-grandson.

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Wisdom of Age is a Raine Media production. It was produced and hosted by Stacy Raine, with editing and sound design by Sandra Levy Smith. Learn more.

Wisdom of Age, Episode 4

Mary Alice Husted: You Cry, and Then You Keep Going

Stacy (as narrator): Well, you sure are beautiful at 97.

Mary Alice: Are you kidding?

Stacy: Not at all.

Mary Alice: I'm glad you brought her. She's making me feel good, Lindsey.

Stacy (as narrator): Welcome to the Wisdom of Age podcast, where we journey with our elders back in time, learning about life as they lived it. And the lessons they learned along the way. I'm Stacy Raine.

When I first met 97-year-old Mary Alice Husted, she wasn't so sure about me or what I was doing with all my recording equipment.

But, she told me, she'd do anything for Lindsey. Lindsey is her granddaughter, and when she heard I was doing this project, she suggested I talk with her grandmother. I'll tell you more about Lindsey in a bit, but first, I want you to meet Mary Alice.

Stacy (as narrator): Mary Alice, better known as Mike to her friends and family, was born and raised and spent nearly all her life in a small city in North Louisiana called Monroe. She was an only child, doted on by her parents. She said her mom was a country girl from Marion, Louisiana, who came to Monroe and got a job in a jewelry store.

And her dad was an immigrant from Syria.

Stacy (as narrator): I looked this up and didn't see that Syria was having a civil war at that time. But I did see that there was a lot of instability in the area due to the decline of the Ottoman Empire and the lead up to World War I. Louisiana was a common destination for Syrian immigrants, apparently, as it was known for being a diverse place.

And Monroe was growing at that time, making it a good place to come and eventually start a business. It wasn't uncommon for immigrants to come and join family members that were already there. She named several families who began lives in Monroe as Syrian immigrants. Mary Alice was raised in a Christian home, she said, with examples set primarily by her mother.

Stacy: How did your mom teach you to be faithful?

Mary Alice: I guess she lived the Christian life. But when I went to college, I never went to church. Four years.

Stacy: Really? That surprises me. Why didn't you go to church in those four years?

Mary Alice: I guess nobody else was going.

Stacy: Hmm. How did you get back to the church?

Mary Alice: When I married my husband.

Stacy (as narrator): Her husband, as she stated earlier, was a man by the name of Bill Husted. I asked her to tell me a little bit about him.

Mary Alice: About the finest Christian man in Monroe and the best looking. He worked for the Salvation Army, the Gideons, the Mercy Ministries, deacon and Sunday school teacher at the church.

Parkview Baptist and First Baptist. He was just a wonderful Christian man. And you can ask my son, Mike, Mike loves to say that he spent more time at the church than he did with him.

He was always helping other people.

Stacy: Sounds like it. How did y'all meet?

Mary Alice: Real Interesting. After I left Stevens College and I had failed English, I went out to Northeast and took it over. And Daddy had given me a car when I graduated from Stevens. And I was picking up one of my friends on Rochelle Avenue, June Ellis, June Griffin.

And Bill, and Sonny Bub, and another Boy, we were standing out there catching the bus and Grif said, can they ride with us out to Northeast? Cause they'd just gotten out of the war. So that's how I met him.

Stacy: And he just asked you for a ride?

Mary Alice: Uh huh. And then we went to LSU together and he pledged Deke and I pledged Tri Delt.

And my daughter in law, Mike's wife, when she met Mike and he brought her to our house. She was at LSU and she said, Ms. Husted. I can't believe Mr. Husted was a deke at LSU.

Stacy: Why'd she say that?

Mary Alice: I guess because at that time the dekes were real bad. But they weren't during, you know, when the war was over. Cause all those men had been in the war and they were not, you know, boys, they were grown men.

Stacy (as narrator): I asked her if he ever talked about the war, and she said he never went overseas. Instead, he was in California, working in the dental school there. When they went to LSU, he studied dentistry, and also got engaged to Mary Alice. They graduated, came back to North Louisiana from LSU, and were set to get married.

Mary Alice: And we were getting married on the 3rd of June. And we came home from LSU, and my father dropped dead with a heart attack the week before the wedding.

Stacy: Goodness.

Mary Alice: So my mother pulled off a funeral and a wedding in one week.

Stacy: That must have been a difficult time for everybody.

Mary Alice: It was very, very sad and hard, and they just canceled the church wedding and we got married at home.

Stacy (as narrator): She doesn't remember a whole lot about the wedding, but later, after we talked, she showed me her wedding portrait, displayed proudly in her room. Mary Alice's dad left not only his family behind when he died suddenly, but his business as well.

Stacy (as narrator): Her new husband stepped in to help.

Stacy: So you probably paid pretty close attention to those stores starting to close down? Close their doors, huh?

Mary Alice: None.

Stacy (as narrator): I pressed her a bit on this, asking if her husband worried to her and she said no. So I'm not sure if they grew concerned about this or if they already had a new business plan in mind, perhaps making it less stressful than I would think, but they did, it seems, have a plan.

Mary Alice: They opened some sporting good businesses and opened three or four, one downtown, one in West Monroe, one out by the college, and then the one on Forsythe. And they didn't last real long, but the one on Forsythe is still going.

Stacy (as narrator): Mary Alice and Bill had three kids. Their oldest, Carol, then Billy, Lindsey's dad, then Mike, their youngest. Billy, who ran the business after his dad retired, recently passed away. Mary Alice said they kept telling him he had six months to live, but he ultimately lived 14 more years. Before he eventually succumbed to cancer. What was clear from my conversation with Mary Alice is that family and faith are extremely important to her.

Mary Alice: I married a man raised exactly like I was in a Christian home with Christian parents who were crazy about each other, you know? And all three of my children married Christians, and have Christian children, and I have eight grandchildren, and twenty-three great grandchildren, and they're all into the Bible.

Stacy: How does that make you feel?

Mary Alice: Putting God first. That's all I care about.

Stacy: Why is that so important to you for your kids to put God first?

Mary Alice: Because that's the truth. There's no other way to live except with God.

Stacy: What do you feel like faith has done in your life for you?

Mary Alice: Everything.

Stacy (as narrator): I said to her that she's parented for quite a long time now, and I wondered if she had any parenting advice. True to her values, this is what she said.

Mary Alice: Put God first and your husband and wife next.

Stacy: Mmm. And do the kids come after that?

Mary Alice: Mm hmm.

Stacy: Why do you say, Husband and wife before the kids.

Mary Alice: Bible.

Stacy (as narrator): Simple as that, if you ask Mary Alice.

Mary Alice: So I went out there every day.

Stacy: Every day?

Mary Alice: Uh huh.

Stacy: To see him?

Mary Alice: Never missed. And I'd get out there on Loop Road and head to 165 and I'd start praying. Cause you talk about a busy, dangerous place, 165.

Stacy: Mm. Didn't like driving on that road, huh?

Mary Alice: Tough.

Stacy: Yeah. What was it like when you would see him every day?

Mary Alice: What was it like?

Stacy: Yes, ma'am.

Mary Alice: Well, I mean, I was crazy about him. He was crazy about me, you know. I just got very educated about Alzheimer's. Now, a lot of people don't do that, you know. They get upset when they act up, but you know, I knew I just never, ever, ever criticized him. I'd always bet on him, kiss on him. He took care of me for 50 years. Loved on me. He was a good lover.

Stacy: When you say that, what would, how would he show you his love?

Mary Alice: Affection, you know, and the way he treated me. I was his first concern. We just had a good family marriage. Because, that's the way he was raised. His mother and daddy were crazy about each other. And, crazy about their children and they were poor and didn't know it. You know what I mean? They lived a beautiful life. Had lunch in the dining room with china and silver and said the blessing and he was always kissing on her and telling her how beautiful she was.

Stacy (as narrator): If someone wanted to learn something from your marriage. You said that y'all put each other first and that you always showed each other love. What would you say to young couples today that are just getting married? What advice would you give them?

Mary Alice: Put God first, you know, and don't criticize. That's what I tell my children.

Mary Alice: Don't criticize your children. I don't care what they do, build them up. Don't criticize them because then that's when they'll, you know, live up to it. Just, you know, when they act wrong, let it go and raise them up.

Stacy (as narrator): Mary Alice has a very deep faith, and when I asked her whether the important part was a home being religious or Christian, I received a very stern reprimand in return.

Mary Alice: There's nobody but God as far as I'm concerned. And you're off on the wrong track, if you don't trust the Bible and God.

Stacy (as narrator): But her faith has carried her through some dark times, like the death of her father just before her wedding, and I'm sure the days when Walmart came to town, and her husband's battle with Alzheimer's, as well as the recent loss of her son Billy.

Her faith has also helped lead her family through their dark times, most probably, most especially, her granddaughter Lindsey. Lindsey has experienced a lot of dark times over the years. First, with the passing of her mom from cancer when her children were very small. And then her dad's passing within the last year.

And then most recently, Lindsey and her husband Brett lost their 16-year-old son Tarver in a tragic accident. It seems that faith is what brings Mary Alice strength and helps her guide her family through unimaginable loss.

Stacy: I can tell that faith is something really important to you.

Mary Alice: Positively, but because of faith, my family has always been down to earth, hardworking people who trust the Lord and, you know, just move on. Just like we're doing, you know, losing Billy and Tarver. That's just life.

Stacy: But it's a hard thing.

Mary Alice: Real hard.

Stacy: So what do you, what do you do in times like that?

Mary Alice: You cry, and you keep going, one day at a time. And you know, she'll be crying till the day she dies, but she'll keep going just like she's doing.

They're doing a beautiful job helping other people, and that's what it's all about.

Stacy (as narrator): This was a really hard part of the interview. Lindsey was there with us, and so really, Mary Alice was talking to her at this point more than me. The room was thick with emotion, and honestly, I could hardly breathe at just the thought of the pain that Lindsey wakes up to every single day.

But the incredible thing is, the thing that we never think we'll be able to do in the face of such devastating loss. Lindsey has done. She has just kept going and even more. She's taking the light that Tarver had in him and carrying it forward. Tarver was known for his hilarious, fun-loving nature. He always seemed to be on a mission to make people smile, to make them happy.

In the wake of his death, Lindsey and Brett started the Tarver Braddock Foundation with a mission to spread love, laughter, and happiness through random acts of kindness. So far, they've surprised a young man who has overcome incredible obstacles with a car so he can get to work. They've donated to the local children's museum that's in the process of building a new building. And they supported a nonprofit working to build an inclusive playground at the local city park, just to name a few of the random acts of kindness they've created recently.

Mary Alice: You know, we've all been through, we go through the same thing. See what she's gone through, I've gone through with her. It's hard, but it's life and you, you know, you can't give up because she has a husband and she has Stella.

Stacy: Mm hmm.

Mary Alice: And she has to put her whole being on her husband and then on Stella.

Stacy (as narrator): Later, she talked a bit more about Lindsey and loss and getting through it. And as you can hear, she's hugging Lindsey as she's telling her this.

Mary Alice: She's such a fine person. I just want to be behind her and help her and keep her going because it's not easy, but you can do it. God will give you the strength and anything you need, just trust the Lord. And that's the way my mother was when my father died, and she was trying to pull off a wedding. Can you imagine?

Stacy: No.

Mary Alice: Putting a funeral together and pulling off a wedding. She and Bill's mother had been down to Baton Rouge and set us up in a GI apartment, you know, for him to finish his college thing. So then had to go back down there and unload all that. But you know, you do whatever you need to do. If you've got any sense.

Stacy (as narrator): Mary Alice and I talked about what life is like at 97. She said her mind right now has gotten not real good. That she has some trouble pulling up words sometimes. Lindsey and I said to her that at 97, that seems normal. She said, who wants to be 97? At this point, she said she can't walk, she can't see, but that she prays to God to give her contentment with her life as it is, and he does. She's perfectly content, she says with the life God has given her at 97. So when I asked Mary Alice what advice she would give to young people today based on all her life experience, it will be no surprise that this was her answer.

Mary Alice: To have God in their life.

Stacy: Mm hmm. What do you feel like that would do for them?

Mary Alice: Everything.

Stacy (as narrator): At one point I asked her if she ever looked back and thought about whether she'd change how she handled something in life. Here was her response.

Mary Alice: I wouldn't change one thing about my life. There's nobody I'd rather be than myself, and I wouldn't change, uh, 97 years of my life. I had wonderful parents, wonderful husband, great children, great grandchildren. Lived in Monroe all of my life. Good Christian town.

These days though, the downtown, and maybe the city itself, is in the midst of a revival.

Mary Alice: Been here almost a hundred years, haven't I? And see, my parents have been here way over a hundred years. Been right here in Monroe, and there isn't a better place in the world to be your whole life than Monroe, Louisiana.

And of course in New Orleans and Baton Rouge and Alexandria, they don't even know we're up here. And we probably have more culture than they do. And I don't know It's just, this town is full of culture that's been here for a hundred years. The Biedenharns, the Massurs, the college, you know, the symphony, a lot of art, just everything, music, the little theater is still going.

That last play, they said it was so professional. They could have been on Broadway. And of course, most of it is due to the college, talented people.

Stacy (as narrator): I really loved hearing Mary Alice say that there's nobody she'd rather be but herself. So I asked her to tell me more about that.

22:30

Mary Alice: It happened, it didn't happen until I was in my 90s.

Stacy: Really?

Mary Alice: Uh uh.

Stacy: Tell me about that.

Mary Alice: Well, I guess, you know, I just have learned to be talented. Peaceful and content with where I am because all of my friends that I from kindergarten have died, all of my friends from college have died, and now I have 40 children, you know, to keep me happy, and God. And I listen to my Bible radio all day.

Stacy: Mm hmm.

Mary Alice: I'm a big Bible person.

Stacy: And you always have been.

Mary Alice: Not really.

Mary Alice: Well, and, you know, raising children and all of that. But of course we always went to church and Sunday school and taught Sunday school and Bill was a deacon and Bill did a lot of church work.

Mary Alice: I don't know, what would you say?

Stacy: I just, I love that you said there's nobody I'd rather be but me.

Mary Alice: Mm hmm. That's the truth. And I probably wouldn't have said that when I was 60, you know. It's just, you know, I got to the point in my life where I realized how blessed I was.

Stacy: Mm hmm.

Mary Alice: It's just something that, you know, happens to you the older you get. Because there is nothing I want right now. Nothing I, you know, I've got these children who are just, how about this one, brought me the most delicious pot of soup last week and cornbread.

Stacy: Oh yeah?

Mary Alice: I mean, my children are so good to me. They take care of me.

Mary Alice: Well, I don't have anything to say, except good.

Stacy: Yeah. You know, hearing somebody say, Oh, there's, there's nobody I'd rather be but me. It's, it's a really powerful thing for other people to hear.

Mary Alice: Well, God made you who you are. Nobody else is like you.

Stacy: Yeah.

Mary Alice: You need to be happy with who you are and do the best you can with it, right?

Stacy: I think so.

Stacy (as narrator): At this point, Tami, her helper, had arrived with her fried fish lunch. She invited me to join, and I really wanted to stay, but I had plans to meet my sister, so I had to decline. Before we ended our conversation, I asked her my last question.

Mary Alice: God ... I'm ready.

Stacy (as narrator): What do you mean by that?

Mary Alice: I know where I'm going. When I die, I'll be with Jesus. That's what I know for sure.

Stacy: I thank you for letting me come over to your home today.

Mary Alice: Well, thank you for being interested in this old lady.

Stacy (as narrator): That was Mrs. Mary Alice Husted. I hope you learned something from her reflections and the wisdom she shared. Thank you to Mrs. Husted for being on this show and to Lindsey for being with us during the interview.

If you would like to support the Tarver Braddock Foundation, please visit tarverbraddockfoundation.org to learn more about their mission to spread love, laughter, and happiness through random acts of kindness. In the next episode, you'll hear from Kimiko Koyanagi, a Japanese born artist who lived in Tokyo during World War II.

Stacy (as narrator): If you have a guest suggestion or just want to share your thoughts, head over to wisdom of age podcast. com. If you enjoyed this episode and want to support the podcast, you can follow the show in your favorite podcast app, leave a rating and review and share it with a friend. Wisdom of Age as a Raine Media production produced by me, Stacy Raine with editing and sound design by Sandra Levy Smith. To discuss how we can help you bring important stories to life through sound visit rainemediaco.com to get in touch.

Thanks for listening.