“We learn from an early age that ‘masked and armored’ is the safe and sane way to live” writes Parker Palmer in A Hidden Wholeness. We are wired for connection - we need each other. Yet there is an epidemic of loneliness in the world and it’s getting worse.

Loneliness has the same health impact as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases risk of premature death by 29%. A 2021 Canadian survey reported that more than 1 in 10 people are always or often lonely. 3/10 said they are sometimes lonely. And a 2020 loneliness report shared that 52% of Americans feel lonely and 47% say their relationships with others do not feel meaningful. 

As an HSP and strong introvert I crave deep heart-to-heart connection. But I’ve also had to learn to move against my instinct to withdraw or isolate and instead make a bid for connection when feeling low, and to risk vulnerability and get creative about forging healthy relationships and community.

We need to grapple with this paradox: We are wired for connection and we need each other. But also, it’s often better to be alone than to remain in unhealthy spaces / relationships.

SOME KEY IDEAS

• There are many factors that contribute to midlife women feeling lonely or disconnected. We all have an internal story of connection or protection - what’s your story?
• Loneliness has many negative health impacts. Loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.
• Social support and social connection are not the same thing; they are both important. If we have social support without social connection, we can still feel lonely.
• All of us have a bidirectional Circle of Impact; we need to choose our inner circle(s) wisely. Emotions (including loneliness) are contagious as are mental states, positive or negative.
• Not every relationship is forever. 
• Healthy relationships must include healthy boundaries and brave conversations.
• EQ is a predictor of happiness in relationships. 4 key components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness or empathy, social skills.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6 (registration closes Sep 1): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/
• The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community, early registration for Autumn Session runs Sep 4-16 (join the BB early / join the Seasonal Transition Call free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/
• Boundaries Workshops: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/workshops-for-your-life-in-progress/
• The Circle of Impact Exercise: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-circle-of-impact-exercise/