World-renowned medium Alison Dubois engages in a heartfelt conversation with Talinda Bennington, widow of Chester Bennington, the late frontman of Linkin Park. Talinda shares her intimate journey navigating the complexities of grief while cherishing the beautiful memories of their life together. As Valentine's Day approaches, the discussion illuminates how love transcends even the deepest of heartaches, revealing that such connections remain an integral part of our existence in this life and the next. Through this conversation, we explore the lasting impact of love on our lives, emphasizing the necessity of remembrance and emotional resilience amidst sorrow.

Welcome to the Dead Life.

Here's world renowned medium Alison Dubois.

Today on the Dead Life, I want to talk about love stories.

Every story is different, but all love stories follow us.

They're part of us in this life and the next.

Today I have a very special lady here to tell us about her journey through loss.

Talinda Bennington is the wife of Chester Bennington, the frontman of the famed musical group Linkin Park.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, many are in full love mode.

But there are also those remembering their own love story.

Fame adds another layer to a love story because it's so public, yet to them it's very private.

She's going to share her love story with you today and how she copes after great loss.

To book a reading with me, email us@bookinglisondubois.com you you can follow me on Instagram Medium Allison or you can watch me on YouTube.

To see new and past episodes of the Dead Life, please like and subscribe.

If you're searching for love and you're tired of dating apps and would like to join us on March 1st at Handlebar J in Scottsdale for our singles mixer, go to divination22.com for tickets and information.

It's sponsored by Divination 22 Lifestyle with Jules and master matchmaker Brandon Rader, the founder of It's Just Lunch, a wildly successful dating platform.

He's a professional matchmaker and will be there on the 1st to give you and guide you on your love journey.

We'll also have a tarot reader, dance lessons, cocktails and more.

Well, Talinda, welcome to the show.

Thank you for being here.

Hi.

Thank you for having me.

Oh my gosh.

You know, I'm sure both of our schedules are just kind of crazy, but I think yours is actually a little bit more chaotic than mine.

So with Valentine's Day being right around the corner, I just thought this is such an important episode to do because as I was saying to you earlier, a lot of people are looking for their love story and many have found it and then others are remembering it because they've suffered a loss and nothing in their their life will ever match what they had with that person.

And I know there's a lot of people out there that just say, oh, get out there.

You know, you'll meet another nice guy or somebody else, you know, that you can spend your life with.

But for many, there's one, there's one that leaves that indelible mark on your heart.

And no amount of people can erase or fill it or even or match it.

And so Valentine's Day becomes something different.

On a side note, do you get things for your kids on Valentine's Day?

Do you like to give them little treats?

Yeah, I do.

I've always been the mom that sends them things to school on Valentine's Day, so especially when my step kids were younger, I would send them, like, big bouquets of stuffed animals or balloons and mainly to embarrass the boys because.

Funny, but.

But yeah, I like doing that kind of stuff.

And then my twins, they're just so all about it, so they love that stuff.

How old are your kids now, if you don't mind my asking?

So my son Tyler is 18.

Wow.

And then the twins, they're 13.

Time flies.

Goes by fast.

It seems like you were just telling me about taking them to the movie Coco.

Oh, my gosh.

And you said, you have to get.

You have to see that movie.

And I actually did just rent it and watched it with my husband.

Yeah, that was a movie.

That was the first family movie we watched after Chester had passed.

And I can't help but think that was his way of saying, like, still here.

Yeah.

So parallels to our life, actually, for an animated.

For a cartoon, really, but an animated movie.

It was strangely very him, wasn't it?

A little bit dark, but very light and very love involved.

And so I could see that and what a sign.

That was great because there's not a lot of Disney flicks that focus on death, but that was.

That one was exactly.

So how did you and Chester meet?

Because I know he's an Arizona boy, I know he's from here, and he's got a lot of fans here, but how did you two meet?

We met through a mutual friend, our friend Ryan.

And yeah, he.

We had had, like, we had run in the same circles for years, but we never met.

And so, yeah, Ryan was like one of my closest guy friends.

Gosh, probably for like, seven years.

And I always knew he had, like, his friend was like, this guy in a band or whatever, but I didn't really pay much attention to it.

And I don't know, I just never intersected with that part of Ryan's other friends until I did.

And then that was.

We met and locked eyes, and then we were together from that moment on.

Was Ryan an LA friend?

Yeah, yeah, he was an la.

That makes sense to me because when you're in la, they'll say that he's in a band, but it'll be like Slash or like Chester Bennington.

You know, he's in a band, he plays a guitar or something, he sings.

I don't know.

So that's not a surprise.

And then you find out that they do have gigs, but in la or are actually iconic, but in la, it's just.

It's such a different animal.

Yeah.

So did you know it was love at first sight or did he have to really work to get your attention?

No, it's pretty much love at first sight.

Yeah, it was pretty much love at first sight.

And.

And it's.

It's interesting because, you know, we were younger, like late 20s, and, you know, just kind of naive to a lot.

Just a lot like, of.

But we were just.

It was just always like, us against the world.

And so we really well paired up like that.

We were just instant friends.

You know, you just have like an easy flow with somebody that you are connected to, you know, and so it was really fun.

And like, when I met him, I felt like I had known him forever.

Yeah, that's something.

You'll hear people that are in love say, I can't remember my life without you when we weren't together talking.

And it just seems strange them that their life actually occurred without that person in its stratosphere.

So I completely get that.

Did he write you any love songs or anything?

I mean, I would expect poetry from him.

Yeah, he did on his album, the Dead by Sunrise album.

There's many songs on there that are written about us.

Yeah.

And he wrote our Wedding song, which is on that album as well.

So it was really.

Yeah, very sweet.

I don't think people understand how the fame aspect to relationships actually, you know, changes it.

It's an added pressure when.

It is.

When you're in a relationship with somebody famous and then you become famous adjacent because you're with them, all of a sudden, people write about you.

With.

With our relationship, it was always.

We wanted to, like, keep our kids safe and protected from the public eye.

So that was kind of.

That was kind of the deal.

Like, if we were out in public, you know, and fans approached him, I just kept walking with the kids and we'd call each other up later, like, where'd you go?

I'm like, I'm over here.

Come catch up.

That's why I had them change our daughter's names in medium.

Cause they used Allison and Jo Dubois.

But when it came to the girls, I didn't want somebody to abduct them to see if I could find them.

Right.

Yeah.

So that was a bit of a concern for me.

So we changed their names, so.

I understand.

Go ahead.

Oh, it was a.

You have to, like, worry about that stuff.

We actually had a.

A fan.

She's.

She went to prison for this, but she tried to kidnap Tyler when he was two.

Wow, that's scary.

Yeah.

She got backstage and went back to the bus and was trying to enter on the bus and thank God our bus driver was there and wouldn't let her.

Like he had closed the doors to the cabin or whatever.

And yeah, it was pretty scary.

She.

She was not well, but she had been stalking Chester for pretty much that whole tour and following every show.

And yeah, she was very delusional.

She thought Tyler was her son.

And so you do have to be careful about that.

Stalkers are another level that people don't really understand with the whole fame card.

They're like, oh, you're so lucky.

But I didn't have them that close to kidnapping my child.

But we did have one that called 40 times a day to our business line.

And when I lived in la, I had to take her or I tried to get a restraining order against her and the judge looked a little bored with the whole case.

And it was Beverly Hills Court and we played the recordings and he.

He brought the gavel down.

He said, I'm giving you a five year restraining order.

That was basically some crazy shit.

Yeah.

So.

And I let a friend of mine sl.

You know Slash.

I'm friends with Slash because you and I have had that conversation before.

We let him listen to some of her recordings once.

And he.

Because we were playing a little game like, who has the worst stalker?

That's a fun one in la.

And we were playing recordings back and forth and he's like, all right, you win.

I was like, yeah.

So I get the delusion, though.

It's.

It's amazing how people fantasize about somebody so much that it becomes a reality.

It's just a trip.

Yeah, it really is.

So how, with his passing, I mean, were you caught off guard or was it, in a way something you saw coming?

No.

At that time?

No.

Like, had it been a year earlier, maybe because he was in a darker place.

But no, when he passed away, it was really very shocking because we all thought he was doing quite well, you know, And I don't know, it took a long time to process that, like, to.

To be able to accept, you know, that I couldn't have done anything, you know that.

Yeah, it just took a long Time, but.

But, yeah, no, it took us all by surprise.

I was very, very shocked, given what I do.

You know, obviously I've brought many people who have passed that way through, and there's always this where they go dark and then they give it everything they've got to be happy and to engage and plug in.

And sometimes, often I'll see that they run out of the energy to be able to try to find joy in things that make other people happy.

And they somehow feel numb and they just can't feel anything.

And they feel as though their loved ones are going to be better off without them.

Somehow your life's going to be easier without them.

And obviously that's not how we feel, but that's the energy and thought process that I see go through their minds leading up to that moment.

But it has nothing to do with how much they love you or what you mean to them.

It has more to do with their own pain and not being able to live with that void inside of them, that pain that they can't get rid of.

So I'm really, I'm sorry to hear that.

It's one of the passings people really struggle with because it was in the control of the person they love.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, and the kids, how have they been able to process it?

Because I know there's a lot of parents out there who've lost a spouse and they have their own children.

Did you have any methods that you were able to bring in for the kids that were able to help them through the coping?

And I'm sure they're still coping.

It's a lifelong journey that you go through.

But was there anything that stood out to you that helped?

Just having a really good therapist for them and keeping them at their appointments every single week, twice a week if needed.

And yeah, we just kept pictures up all over the house, you know, talking about him.

We still talk about him to this day, you know, all the time.

I, you know, anything comes up, I'll be like, oh, this is your dad's favorite song.

Or this was this, or whatever.

You know, the kids have access on the computer to all of our videos and stuff.

So, yeah, it's pretty.

It's been quite the road.

But I think the key for, like, as a parent, the key for me was having a therapist that I was really able to trust and the consistency.

Keeping them in therapy.

Yeah.

Whether or not they wanted to go.

I find that stories from mothers or fathers, even the little details, little moments, memories that you share with them, is everything to Them and maybe even giving him a journal to write down some of these memories that you're recounting to them, because they're gonna forget after a while so that they can look back on him when they miss that person or taking one of his T shirts and putting a pillow in it and tying it off and putting it on their bed.

They can smell dad, you know, and feel connected there.

I had a blanket made of his shirts for each of the kids.

That's perfect.

That was good.

Something you had said in.

In the reading that I had did.

Right.

Like three months after he died, like before we.

I actually ever met, you had said something about how Chester saw the girls.

And I have to tell you, I won't say what it is, but it's true.

To this day, almost eight years later, like, it came to fruition, so it's really interesting.

So I let them listen to that part of the recording and.

Cause it was something you were saying that their dad was communicating, like, how they would be.

And that's.

They weren't like that before and they're like that now.

And it's just like, oh, my gosh.

It's like.

That's so true.

That's the cool thing about them.

They can see further than we can and they just sort of report back like, this is who they're going to be.

This is what you can expect.

It's kind of cool, huh?

Yeah, it's really cool.

It's totally, totally happened.

It's just so interesting.

Yeah.

So they really liked that.

They thought that was cool.

Kind of like a message, you know?

Yeah.

That he sees them and he knows where they're going and what they'll be.

That he's part of them.

And I think that's the most important thing to kids, is to know that Dad's along for the journey and he's not gonna drop off.

He'll be there for all the hard times and my good times, to see me succeed.

And when I fail to say, get up.

Get your ass up, you know, you can do this.

I've done harder things.

Come on.

So all of that means everything to them.

Your 18 year old.

Don't be surprised if a tattoo comes back on the arm of that 18 year old for dad.

But you'll have to.

I believe it.

Yeah.

It was just a feeling I had.

I just.

When you said 18, the 18 year old.

I just saw a tattoo on the arm and sort of that kid becoming dad, like, being his energy.

Yeah.

And also with kids, for your younger ones especially, because they're 13, which is a hard age.

Nobody looks back at 13 and goes, oh, my God, those are my glory days.

Like, I looked amazing.

So 13, letting them pick out a pet, you know, just like that built in.

We call them pets, but it's like straight up pet therapy for people when they lose someone is they get attached to that animal.

That animal lets them know that dad's there, you know, when he's in the room.

And it just brings them such comfort to have that connection with something physical and that's connected to dad.

For sure.

For sure.

Yeah.

They all have pets.

Each one of them has.

Well, two of them have two cats, and one of them has a dog and a cat.

Oh, nice.

So you've got a full household.

Yeah.

So whether or not he's in the room is always in fashion at your house.

Yeah.

You always know that.

That's awesome.

Have you.

Other than Coco, because I know that resonated with you that he got us here.

You know, he.

He wanted us to know that he's not gone and to celebrate his life and that we're still connected.

Have you had any other spiritual experiences since he died?

Have you dreamt about him or felt him around you?

Yeah, of course.

Of course.

Yeah, I've definitely had dreams, you know, in the first couple of years, the dreams at times were, like, so intense.

I could actually, like, feel his touch.

And, yeah, it, like, it was.

That was very emotional to get through, but now more, it's like.

It's real light and positive.

It's.

It's, you know, song on the radio or just the feeling, you know, just like, just that feeling that he's around.

But, yeah, again, I feel like I'm more.

I mean, for today, you know, I'm more in a state of acceptance.

I've worked through a lot of my trauma surrounding his death, and the pain kind of moved into gratitude.

Yeah, like, gratitude for, you know, the.

The family he left me.

You know, the.

The.

The life that we had together, the memories, and then that moved into, you know, hope for the future of, like, just having, you know, beautiful days ahead and enjoying things.

You know, you had mentioned earlier in the beginning of the podcast about, you know, having that one and that one person and.

And I.

I think that's true.

But I also think that, like, in love, like, for me, I feel like losing Chester taught me not losing him, having him in my life taught me what that deep love feels like.

What that.

That it feels like to be loved like that and to be whole.

And I know that That I can have that again, you know, and it won't be the same, of course, because it's not the same person.

And.

But you can.

You.

You're.

It's like having more kids.

You know, your heart opens in a different way.

You don't.

You know, you.

You love them deeply and stuff, but it's a different person.

So I think you also love things about that new person that comes in that wouldn't have mattered to you had you not been with the first person.

So, for instance, if you fall in love with somebody who understands your pain because they've been through it.

Exactly.

And you wouldn't have had that pain if you hadn't had that first love to them.

So.

No, I get that.

And I think the thing that I love about watching the entirety of people's lives, because I read people of all ages, you know, and I get to bring people through, and there's like, they're at, like, It's World War II and they're at the USO and they're dancing, and I see their hair and the lipstick, and I hear the music, and I see the food and the drinks, and I'm like, this is amazing.

This is your heaven.

This is so great.

So I get to see that gamut of it.

And so those moments that you had with Chester, him writing you a song, you know, listening to it, maybe sharing a little champagne or a glass of wine with them and celebrating an engagement or getting married, those are all versions of your heaven that you're going to relive on the other side when you die, as if they're happening for the first time.

So those moments stay with you.

They're part of you.

And you.

When you fell in love with him, that was young love.

That's like notebook love.

That's like hot love.

That's passionate love.

That's excitement.

And then I think as we get older, it's not that you can't feel butterflies and so sort of that excitement or sensation, but I don't know that it's at the same level, the same magnitude as being young and sort of growing up together, you know, and going through it together.

So I think that's why people reflect on young love as being so special and romantic.

And so, yeah, yeah, it teaches you.

Things, you know, it really teaches you.

Teaches you a lot.

And sadly, like, my young love didn't.

Wasn't able to develop into, like, the forever mature love, you know, but that's okay.

Like, I'm.

I'm in a beautiful relationship now with A love who.

Pretty sure he's going to be the rest of my life, you know, and the way I love him is so deep, and it's.

It's.

It's solid and.

And.

But I feel that I couldn't have appreciated that in him and been where I'm at if I hadn't known the love I had.

Had before.

Right.

So it's just kind of like a beautiful segue into the next part of my life, you know?

Yeah.

I'm sure Chester had a little hand in bringing that person into your life, because I see patterns of that in readings where they'll say, I'll bring you someone I would have liked.

That's another thing about that first reading.

You actually said that, and so did he.

In that first reading.

I was listening to that, and you actually named the country where he's from.

And you.

Because you were saying that I, like, I need to move.

Yeah.

And I was, like, thinking, oh, it's because we were moving houses, and you said the specific country to move to.

And listening to it now, I was like, what the heck?

Like, of all the places.

Because it's not like a.

It's not like England or something.

It's like a common country.

Yeah.

Name is one random country.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, gosh, okay.

I know I'm on the right path.

I love hearing that, though.

I love.

I love people recounting back to me because I always say I'm just a secretary.

You know, I take notes, I pass them on.

You know, I'm a glorified secretary.

But I do love hearing the information and how it evolves in people's lives and.

Oh, yeah, you were spot on.

I'm happy for you.

And Chester would want that.

You know, he would want that person to be there and be able to put his arm around you so that you're not alone and you're not crying and.

And that you're not suffering.

So I have no doubt he brought him into your life because Chester would have quite a bit of willpower on the other side.

I have no doubt.

No doubt.

So you and your family, you obviously are.

You have to evolve through time.

I think it's harder on the mom because you have to take care of the kids and explain it to the kids over and over and over and be their reassurance.

So I think moms deserve, like, a big round of applause on the being strong in the being strong category, because you're suffering alongside of them, but you don't have time for yourself as often because you're focused on worrying about them.

And so I, for you, did you have any getaways?

Did you find any escapes for your own coping?

Yeah, I mean, I was in therapy myself.

But I have to say, I really, for the better part of the last seven years, I really focused on the kids and I've taken care of myself enough to, like, you know, be okay for them.

Yeah.

But it was just, just recently I was able to really dive into some of my own self care, which was really nice.

I did a lot of.

A lot of.

A lot of therapy.

A lot of different modalities, energy work, a bunch of stuff to just kind of feel more centered.

And it, it was good.

And it was really nice to be able to, like, sit down with my kids and say, like, look, I need to.

To take a few weeks and, and focus on myself and go, you know, go to therapy and do this.

And they were like, okay, yeah, you need to, you know, like, we're here.

They're at the right age too.

They're like, so, yeah, 18 and 13.

Whatever, mom, go ahead.

Can I go to Matt's house for the summer?

That'd be great.

Because that's their opportunity to ask for a favor.

Back when you put a big so with the moments that you'll have on the other side with Chester, but also what helps you through your grief.

I notice a lot of people will have one or two really grounding moments that they like to look back on, whether it's their wedding or when their baby's born, or the first time they said I love you, or just making each other laugh, like pillow talk, you know, in the morning.

Is there.

Is there something that you look back on with him and say, you know, like, get into that moment and feel more centered and zen in that moment, in that he's here, you know, and that.

That love doesn't die.

Yeah.

It's more around, like, occasions.

Right.

So, like when the girls have a birthday or Tyler has a birthday or, you know, Tyler graduated high school, things like that.

I will give myself, you know, like a half an hour or so just to sit and be with memories.

And so there's not one specific memory.

It's just whatever comes to me.

It's almost like I meditate in that moment.

Yeah.

And just allow whatever to come to me.

To come to me.

And whether it's sadness or, you know, just fond memories, like, fill me with happiness and joy.

Just whatever comes, I try to be open to it because just let it, like, move through me.

So then during the moment, like the birthday, you know, or the, you know, whatever it is that we're doing in the moment.

I could be present with, with the kids and present with myself and enjoy the moment for that and not be, you know, not have like a emotional bomb come and annihilate me out of nowhere.

Yeah.

When this.

You have the 18 year old, when there's a graduation or a wedding, are you going to bring something of Chester's and like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Alyssa, she's my childhood best friend's daughter, but I helped to raise her since I was 17.

So she got.

And Chester and I always called her our oldest.

We had custody of her for a long time, but she's 29 now.

But she got married a little over a year ago and she had, you know, full, like, seat for him and she honored him in her wedding.

And she honored him.

Her father made a speech and like, honored him that way.

So he was very much there and honored.

That's beautiful.

And we do they love.

I know they sound kind of egotistical maybe in a little way.

I don't think it's ego.

I think it's more that it makes them feel good to know that they left a lasting impression on so many people.

When they're honored in some way, they're always there, front center.

It's just so cool to see them enjoy being in that moment with the people.

So.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's.

He's very much part of our, our lives and our conversation.

Well, I'm sure a lot of his fans feel inspired by the music as well.

Yeah, of course.

Do they.

Do they always reach out to you and say, I played a song in our wedding or at, you know.

Yeah, I've actually.

Yeah, I mean, I've been off social media for a while, but when I was on it for sure, all the time getting really.

We got a lot of fan mail for a long time after he died.

And that was really nice, you know, to see memorials and just, you know, just see people's letters and writing expressing how they felt.

Had really beautiful energy to it.

We kept a lot of that.

He touched a lot of lives.

I'm sure.

You don't even know how many lives you touch.

I still hear from people about Medium.

They're like, it saved my life or thank you for that.

I don't feel like I don't fit in anymore.

I know what I'm doing is normal, it's human, it's good.

And so I think being a public figure is an absolutely Amazing platform to be able to touch people's lives.

And I'm sure he's got many tattoos of Linkin park all over people walking around the world.

No doubt.

No doubt.

And I'm sure he would thank you for making all the years that he was with you the best time of his life and for giving him all of those versions of heaven for him to live now until he sees you and the kids and whoever else he loves again.

Because they always come through, and people will say, why do they stay?

Why are they here?

And I said, because their heaven isn't complete, so they wait for us, because without us, their heaven just isn't a full picture.

And that's why they stay, and that's why they buffer us and help us through our life, because they love us, but.

And they want us to evolve and experience all the things we're supposed to.

But in the end, they can't feel settled, as though it's a utopia that they're in without us.

And that's such a big thing that I don't think the living always grasp that you have so much power in how you affect other people's lives that somebody would actually wait for you to cross because they're not whole without you.

So I just thought that was kind of beautiful.

So.

Well, is there a place that people can find you?

You said you're off social media, so it sounds like not so much.

Okay, okay.

Leave her alone, people.

You can come find me, bother me.

I'm there, so.

Well, thank you so much for sharing your love story with us, and happy Valentine's Day.

I hope you do something really fun and make some new memories and safe travels.

I know you're leaving abroad or out of the country today, so safe travels there.

Thank you.

You're so welcome.

And happy Valentine's Day to my husband, Joe.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you.

Remember, you're creating your versions of heaven right here, right now.

So don't hold back.

Take a chance on love.

It's worth the risk.

Thank you to my listeners for tuning in.

Tune in next week for a fresh episode of the Dead Life.

I'm Allison Dubois.

This is the Dead Life, and to all of my believers out there, don't stop believing.

Join us next week on the Dead Life.

And don't forget to subscribe now to get notified of every new episode.