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Complete Without Should
Episode 13628th November 2022 • Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending • Kelly Mobeck
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We are in the final stretch of 2022 and it’s a great time to look back at the results you either created or did not.  As you look at the results, do it without shoulding on yourself because it is not necessary.  Join me today as we go through some powerful questions to help you stay playing the long game, harness your learning, and keep going. The end of the year does not mean it’s the end of the dreams you had for it, keep going!

Don’t miss the FREE workshop I’ve got for you this Wednesday 11/30 at 6:00 p.m. PST for an hour of fun designed to have you “Complete It” and finish your year strong capturing and leveraging the learning you created all along the way.  

Check out all the details here, register, and let’s go!!

Here are the highlights from this episode:

(02:10) Getting creative in December

(05:28) You will not always hit your goals

(09:49) Commitment shows through action

(13:55) You choose to overcome

(17:12) I have some powerful questions for you

As mentioned in this episode:

Share your Curiosity Challenges, learnings, and any questions here!

Episode 115 Don’t Should on Yourself


We are so excited that LIFT(her) the 12 month group coaching program for women is back and a new Cohort starts April 5, 2023.

Are you a woman in business? Been thinking about taking a leap? Ready to make bold and massive moves? Love collaborating with highly committed and motivated women?

CLICK HERE and apply to join us for the LIFT(her) 12 month coaching program for women where you will get the results you want as we dive into the four pillars of "The LIFT Method" to create an EPIC year of impact, growth, and success.

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Hey everyone. I'm Kelly Moak, a coach and a leadership trainer, and I'm super passionate about helping you. Find out who you are authentically as a leader. Own it, and go out and make an impact in your life and the lives of others. This world needs your leadership, your gifts, your unique brilliance. And I believe that real leaders don't wait.

They create, I know firsthand that life is gonna throw us curve balls, that we're gonna doubt our greatness, our ideas, and our contributions. And my goal is that you believe in yourself beyond. And I get to be a coach and a champion for you each week so that you feel inspired, motivated, and most important in action toward your unique impact in this world.

So let's jump in. Hey there everyone, it's Coach Kelly. Welcome to another edition of, let's Be Honest, before we start Pretending. And it is officially getting towards the end of November. It's November 28th, and so we only have like 1, 2, 3, 3 more days left and then we are hitting December. Wow. Wow. Wow. For those of you that celebrate Thanksgiving, I am sending you a very happy Thanksgiving and I truly hope that you have a wonderful time with family, friends, and create wonderful memories and connections.

I wanna just say thank you and let you know that. So grateful for all of you that are listening to this podcast and, um, I love hearing what you're learning along the way. So thank you to all of you who jump into the curiosity challenges or leave me messages through the curiosity challenges, just to let me know the impact this is creating for you.

My heart is full and I am super grateful. We have an exciting December coming up. I've got two amazing. That are gonna be joining us. Um, I'll tell you more about that next week. And we're gonna be getting creative. We're gonna be getting creative in December. That's what it's about. And what we're going to, what we're gonna do today is we're gonna finish the monthly theme of doing things without should.

So we have, we talked about creating yourself without should. We talked about having downtime and managing yourself with downtime without the should. We talked about holidays without the should, and I shared with you a tool called Pop it to help you design the holidays. I. Next week, we're going to drill it down even further as we get creative about the holidays.

So that's where we've been and that's where we're going. And today, what I thought would be really great is to talk about. Creating next year's success without should . How about that? And I wanna remind you before we dive in that this Wednesday, so on November 30th, if you have not yet signed up for the complete IT workshop, That is happening on Wednesday, November 30th at 6:00 PM Pacific Standard Time.

It's gonna be amazing. We are gonna really workshop harnessing your learning for the year so that you can leverage that into your next year. It's gonna be amazing. Priceless. So awesome. It's free. So if you have not signed up yet, go to the show notes. The link is there. Come join us. We have a really cool group forming and I'm excited.

I'm excited. So I wanted to remind you about that. And so today what we're gonna talk about is a little bit about what we're actually gonna be working with on the workshop as well, because. As we're, as we're coming close to the end of the year, this is the time people start really looking at where, where am I with my goals?

And we can get really hard on ourselves. We can get super hard on ourselves during this process. And it's not necessary. It's not necessary. There's this quote from Hillary to piano and I love it. She says, you can get excited about the future. The past won't mind. Isn't that great? You can get excited about the future.

The past won't mind. It is so true, and here's the thing, you can get excited about creating new results because whether you hit all of the results that you were going for, all the goals, all the outcomes, or whether you didn't, the past won't. The past won't mind you get to go again. And here's the thing, when we are setting up goals and outcomes and we're looking to our future, we set some pretty big, hairy, scary goals, right?

Some bodacious goals. In Lifter we call them, whoa, goals, right? And I wanna share something. You will not always hit all of your goals. Okay. You'll hit a lot of them. You'll hit most of them, and some you won't. And that's okay because it's telling you that you are stretching outside your comfort zone, that you're willing to declare some things and go for it.

Okay? You might not hit. Be willing to play the long game. Do not give up. Just because we end the year doesn't mean that we end your vision for what you want in your life. We certainly do not. Okay? We certainly do not. So you get to go again. Now, here's the thing about goals and creating results. Here's the.

It's great when we hit it. It is awesome, right? It doesn't always feel great when we don't, but I'm gonna give you permission to let it go and go again. Let it go and go again. If it's important to you, let it go and go again. And here's what I want you to know. When we hit it, it's gold. And when we don't, it doesn't feel great.

Those are feelings. Those are feelings. And I'm not saying don't discount your feelings. Please feel your feelings. Feel the feels. Feel 'em. And realize also that they start to dissipate. Okay? The feeling of hitting your goal. And I want you all to just for a second, think about that, the feeling of hitting a goal.

Think about one that you've hit, like one that was a big. You hit it and it felt great. It was awesome. You were probably in your zone and riding the biggest wave possible, right? Cloud nine. Okay. It felt great. But then think about like a week later, two weeks later, a month later, quarter later, a year later, 10 years later, five years, whatever the feeling dissipates, you can go back to the moment, but it's never gonna feel exactly the same way.

Here's the thing, same thing. When you don't hit your result, when you don't get it, when you. You can go back and maybe remember, sort of feel it, but it's not gonna be the same feelings diss. But here's what stays the learning. The learning is what stays. Okay? That is what I call platinum and priceless the two P's, platinum and priceless.

And I think that we often move through, like hit the goal, what's next? Hit the goal. What's next? What's next? What's next? And we don't stop to really capture. The learning, and here's the thing. What we learn, whether we hit a result or miss a result is priceless because you can leverage it ongoing. You can leverage your learning ongoing.

In fact, oftentimes when I don't get a result that I wanted, I will literally make sure I have a, I have a notebook. I have so many notebooks. I have a notebook that is dated and sometimes I will go back even to my planner, like it just woo. Okay. Get a notebook or a planner, whatever that is where you're putting your goals, putting your outcomes, and have a section in there.

What did I learn? And I'll tell you what, when you don't hit the result, there are so many things. You're learning what got in my way. That would be important to know because when we know what stops us or when we know what we may have been more committed to than the. It's golden because we can get some help with that.

Okay? We can leverage that. So you heard me just use this wonderful world, world high, wonderful, wonderful word called commitment, and I want you to know commitment shows up over time and through action. It does. We've talked about it before on this podcast, and you will know what you're committed to. When that deadline you set for yourself arrives, okay, you'll know what you were committed to because results don't lie.

A result is a result. That's it. A simple example, losing weight. Say you wanna lose 20 pounds in three months. When three months is up, you will know what you were committed to. Was it 20 pounds? Was it 25? Was it 15? 10, 2 0? Did you gain. Okay. Results tell you what you were committed to. Okay? And we are always committed to something.

We're always committed to something. Now, that's a pretty big concept, honestly, because we're not stopping and asking ourselves that question. What? Am I committed to ? What am I committed to? We can say I'm committed to losing the 20 pounds. We could say it until the cows come home, but we won't know until we hit that date.

Commitment shows up over time and commitment shows up in action. Okay? It shows up in action, and so sometimes, There might be some things that stop us get in our way. Some things called self-limiting beliefs. We've talked about this on the podcast too. These are beliefs that limit. Okay. I'm not good enough.

I'm not smart enough. I don't know how, what if they don't like me? I mean, I could go on and on and I have an episode on Beliefs and I will click it and hook it into the show notes cuz you can review it. It was way back in season one way, way, way back in season one. Really great episode. Go visit it and.

It is going to like when you know what was I committed to, and you own that. It's gonna give you so much information that you can leverage. Because if I say I wanna lose 20 pounds in three months and whether I lose it, Lose more than less than gain weight, not weight. That's gonna tell me what I was actually committed to see.

We love to make things about circumstances or excuses and things like that, and I say this every week, we don't wanna lead our life through our circumstances. No. We wanna take the lead in our life. So you wanna look. What was I committed to? It is not always easy to say. I was committed to gaining weight.

I was committed to sabotaging my success. I was committed to being right about the fact that I just can't lose weight. Okay? We don't love to admit that, and more often than not, it's probably not even true. It's just what is stopping us. So when you look at. When you look at your result and you look at what was I committed to?

You can own it, and then you can start to look at what worked and what didn't work, what would be different. You can get into that ownership position. You can get accountable about it. It's powerful. Powerful. It's a super superpower. Okay? The same thing is true when you do get the result, what did you learn?

What did you learn about your commitment? What did it take to be awi, as we like to say, doing whatever it takes legally, of course, doing whatever it takes to get that result. What did it take? What did it take in your commitment? What were some of the barriers that you had to overcome or you chose to overcome?

you level up as you move into:

t what did I set out to do in:

at did I set out to create in:

Did you miss it? And then what I want you to ask yourself is, what was I committed? What was I committed to? What was I committed to, more so than actually getting the result? And if you got the result, what did it take in my commitment? What did it take? So these are some great questions that you can ask yourself as you are closing down your year.

Okay. As you're closing down your year, these are fantastic questions. That is going to be like a platinum. I was gonna say goldmine, like a platinum goldmine. , can that even be a thing? It's like a platinum goldmine that's going to help you leverage into the next year your commitment. Okay? You're gonna leverage your learning so that your commitment is solid.

You're gonna let things go, and it's like I said, feel your feelings. Celebrate your wins. Learn. , right? It's when we don't hit it. When we have our losses, feel those feelings, they're important. Why am I feeling this way? Ask yourself those questions. Ask yourself those questions. So those are some of the things that we're gonna do at this workshop.

These are great questions for you to ask yourself as you are looking at closing down your year and capturing the learning. You might add a final question. I just thought of this in this moment. What will be different for me as I move into this next year? What might be different for me? Where will I stretch a little bit more?

Okay, so there's some questions. I know they're useful. I use them myself. They're powerful. They will help you create much more of the results you want. And again, sign up for that workshop because again, we're gonna, we're gonna look at that and we're gonna dive a little bit deeper even. And you will walk away with a solid.

Okay, so remember, we have a choice to lead our life from our circumstances or lead our life because we said so and create more of the results that we want through our commitment and our intention and our purpose and our passion. We are smart. So capture what you're learning. That's what it's. It's great when we hit the result.

Oh my gosh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. It's great when we hit the result, it feels wonderful. It's gold, and the platinum is what you learned along the way. I promise you. I promise you. Okay. Have a great week ahead. Finish your month strong, whatever strong is to you, whatever success is to you. And you know, if you know, have a great week and if it's not shaping up the way you want it to take the lead and create something different.

I look forward to seeing many of you at the workshop and I look forward to. December. We've got some goodies coming your way. All right, everyone, have a great week ahead and I will talk with you all next week. Take care. Thanks for listening to another episode of, let's Be Honest, before we start pretending for more resources on taking the lead in your life, head over to kelly j and connect with me on Instagram at Coach Kelly moc.

If this episode was helpful for you, please feel free to share it with friends. Rate and review it on iTunes. That's Apple Podcast now, and at any time, feel free to connect with me and let me know what you want to hear next or what you're working on. I'm happy to help. Thanks again for listening, and here's to you taking the lead in your life.