The fused half-cat, half dog created by a teleporter accident struggles to understand themself while seeking a way to reverse the accident and return to their original, separate selves.

Today’s story is the second and final part of “Crystal Fusion” by Mary E. Lowd, the prolific author of the Otters In Space trilogy, the Entangled Universe trilogy, and many other furry sci-fi books and short stories.  You can find more of Mary’s stories on Deep Sky Anchor and in the Deep Sky Anchor Podcast. You can read more about the cats and dogs of the starship Initiative, boldly going where no cat or dog has gone before, in Tri-Galactic Trek, published by FurPlanet Press.

Last time, Lt. Vonn and Lt. LeGuin were combined into a fused half-cat, half-dog by a teleporter accident and were struggling to make sense of their own melded mind.

You’re listening to The Voice of Dog

and Today’s story is the second

and final part of

“Crystal Fusion” by Mary E. Lowd,

the prolific author of the Otters In Space trilogy,

the Entangled Universe trilogy,

and many other furry sci-fi books and short stories.

You can find more of Mary’s stories on Deep Sky Anchor

and in the Deep Sky Anchor Podcast.

You can read more about the cats and dogs of the starship Initiative,

boldly going where no cat or dog has gone before,

in Tri-Galactic Trek,

published by FurPlanet Press. Last time, [Lt. Vonn and Lt. LeGuin were combined into a fused

half-cat, half-dog by a teleporter accident

and were struggling to make sense of their own melded mind.]

Please enjoy “Crystal Fusion”

by Mary E. Lowd (part 2 of 2,

read by the author herself)

LeVonn raised their voice and said,

"Computer begin Lt. Vonn program five.

Easy mode." Usually, they ran the program on Extra Hard mode.

But they weren't sure how much their skills would have dropped from having their body changed

to be half feline.

At least, Lt. LeGuin seemed like he'd been

a fairly agile and fleet-footed cat...

but completely untrained in martial arts or,

really, any physical activity.

He'd lived entirely in his mind,

and now that mind

was a chaotic, disordered place.

Martial arts were orderly.

The glowing blue hexagons inscribing the walls all around them

flashed a blinding shade of sky blue,

so bright that it was like a million summer days in an instant.

When the flash subsided,

their surroundings had changed:

instead of an empty room,

the lumo-bay had become a crowded dojo filled with large, hulking ursine aliens

dressed in simple white gis,

tied at the waist with differently colored belts.

The bear-like aliens were attacking and throwing each other,

rolling and shuffling their paws on the floor of rectangular green mats

in a complicated dance.

It was beautiful.

Usually, Lt. Vonn was a black belt in Urs'aido,

the martial art that she'd learned from Ensign Grawf,

an ursine exchange officer aboard the Initiative.

The bear-like alien and yellow lab often practiced martial arts together.

Today, LeVonn supposed they'd be lucky to maintain the skills of a purple belt.

Maybe blue belt.

They'd see. That's why they'd set the program to "easy mode.

mode." In hard mode, the lumo-projected bears would have all attacked them by now.

LeVonn raised their arms to the side in the opening pose,

closed their eyes, and drew a deep,

centering breath.

They visualized the air currents in the room around them,

flowing around the dance-fighting bears,

swirling up to the corners of the ceiling,

and flowing into their own lungs

and back out again.

They tried not to get distracted by thinking about how they'd be able to

actually see those air currents perfectly well

if they'd just get over themselves and put on Lt. LeGuin's techno-focal goggles.

Get over themselves.

They meant, get over their Lt. Vonn half.

Their dog half. Was it more dominant?

Was that a problem?

Frustrated with their inability to focus, LeVonn opened their eyes.

Perhaps teaching Dr. Wolfgang would be easier to focus on

than being alone inside themself.

"Put your arms out to the side,

like mine," LeVonn said.

"This is the first pose.

pose." The Bengal cat gracefully extended her arms.

She seemed even taller to LeVonn,

now that they were fox-sized instead of yellow lab-sized.

Dr. Wolfgang had always been taller than Lt. LeGuin,

but she'd been shorter than Lt. Vonn.

Now they were about the same height.

"That's good," LeVonn said.

They guided Dr. Wolfgang through the chants,

visualization, and breathing exercises meant to prepare an Urs'aido

artist for their practice.

The Bengal cat exuded exactly the kind of calm centeredness

that kept escaping LeVonn.

She was a natural.

When they got to the opening moves --

tucked rolls and simple attacks where one practitioner guided the other's energy from a punch into a harmless roll --

the Bengal cat had no problem gracefully executing the rolls herself

and effortlessly throwing LeVonn into them.

The tabby fox, however, landed flat on their back,

slamming painfully into the green mat.

Over and over again.

Several times, they flipped their tail right under themself, crushing it during a roll,

and their chin didn't

tuck forward quite like they expected,

so they kept bumping the back of their head.

Even when they managed to tuck their head right,

they slammed their right shoulder into the mats repeatedly, always hitting in the same increasingly tender place.

It was not relaxing.

It was not centering.

And LeVonn was getting more and more bruised and frustrated.

"Shouldn't you be working on the math to get me fixed?"

they finally roared at Dr. Wolfgang, after she'd thrown them to the floor for the umpteenth time.

"I am," she replied testily,

tail waving behind her.

She was hardly winded from their exertions.

Whereas LeVonn was practically panting, like they'd forgotten how to breathe properly.

Their whole body felt like a mess of tangled and discordant muscles,

pulling at each other in the wrong ways,

clumsy as a puppy or kitten.

"What do you mean?"

LeVonn asked, still lying flat on the mats where they'd been thrown.

"My mind's been working on the math while we..." She

smiled, an especially feline and mysterious smile. "...

"...dance." "This doesn't feel like dancing,"

LeVonn grumbled.

"It's supposed to.

It used to." They couldn't bring themself to say more words.

They were too disappointed in themselves. They'd

thought, for sure, even if everything felt different and their skills were decreased, they'd

simply be starting out again.

But this wasn't what starting out had been like for Lt. Vonn at all.

She'd always known

how to place her paws where she meant to;

she'd been a natural, like Dr. Wolfgang had proved to be.

Bitterly, LeVonn realized that Lt. LeGuin had never taken an interest in many physical activities because

he wouldn't have been very good at them.

They'd preferred imagining it was the other way around -- he wasn't any good,

simply because he'd never chosen to take part.

If he'd put the time in, surely, he could learn to be as fine a martial artist

as... Lt. Vonn. With a deep sigh, LeVonn said,

"Tell me about the math.

Because I can't do this."

"Are you sure?" Dr. Wolfgang asked.

"Because I have a different idea.

idea." LeVonn pushed themself into a sitting position,

intrigued. "What is it?"

Dr. Wolfgang raised her voice and said,

"Computer, do you have any dance studio programs?"

A melodic yet sterile, disembodied voice answered,

"Three hundred and twenty four varieties.

Please narrow your search parameters.

parameters." Dr. Wolfgang negotiated with the computer,

eventually settling on a program labelled

"Dr. Keller program six.

six." Apparently, the ship's doctor liked dancing.

The fighting bears disappeared,

along with the sound of their paws slapping and thumping against the floor.

The green mats beneath them shimmered

and were replaced by beautifully grained mahogany hardwood.

The dance studio was empty,

except for Dr. Wolfgang and LeVonn,

but cheerfully spirited orchestral music filled the air,

along with bright sunlight slanting in through tall windows

at the far end of the room.

In spite of themself, LeVonn felt uplifted by the atmosphere.

"This is a nice program,"

they said. "It does look nice, doesn't it?"

Dr. Wolfgang turned around, long tail following her,

to get a look at the room from every angle.

"Very nice. This is exactly what I came here for." With

the deftest of paw steps, the Bengal cat shifted from simply turning

to gracefully twirling.

Her tail swung to the music,

and everything about her brightened.

"You're a dancer and a mathematician?"

LeVonn asked. They could feel themself developing a little crush on her.

Or maybe, it was just that Lt. LeGuin would've probably had a crush on her.

They couldn't tell their own feelings, and they were starting to think it was better when they didn't even try.

"Well, come on, stand up,"

Dr. Wolfgang said.

LeVonn stood up, but they said,

"I don't dance. Neither of me."

"Perfect," Dr. Wolfgang said,

twirling closer. She stopped spinning, held her arms out toward LeVonn,

and swayed in place.

"If you didn't dance before,

then both of your sides will be new to this.

No expectations. No disappointment.

Just learning. You like learning new things,

don't you?" LeVonn quirked a

smile. They did like learning new things.

That was something both their feline engineer

and security officer dog halves had in common.

Sure, Lt. LeGuin liked learning about new types of technology and

Lt. Vonn preferred learning new martial arts.

But they both loved learning.

"That's a safe guess among Tri-Galactic Navy officers, isn't it?"

LeVonn jeered wryly.

"It would be hard to get anywhere in the Tri-Galactic Navy without a love of knowledge and a thirst for adding to it,"

Dr. Wolfgang agreed.

"Now give me your paws.

paws." The tabby fox placed their pale orange paws in the Bengal cat's dark ones.

"Now look at my feet

and follow the pattern,"

she said. LeVonn looked down and saw the simple, repeated pattern of steps --

left paw forward,

left paw back, step to the right,

step to the left.

Simple. Yet, somehow, even with that level of simplicity,

LeVonn managed to keep stepping at the wrong moments and in the wrong directions.

Dr. Wolfgang raised her voice and said,

"Computer, slow the music to half speed.

speed." The orchestral music slowed from a lively rhythm

to a languorous one,

and suddenly LeVonn found their paws able to keep up.

Their muzzle twisted into a lopsided smile

as they felt their movements finally line up with the music,

and their tail began to swing along.

"That's better," Dr. Wolfgang said.

After a few more repetitions of the pattern, she stepped closer,

and lifted one of LeVonn's paws to her shoulder.

She then placed her free paw at LeVonn's waist

and stretched out her other arm,

still holding LeVonn's other paw.

"Now just keep stepping,

and follow me." After a few minutes, LeVonn found themself whirling around the room, spinning out from Dr. Wolfgang's steady paw

and then being pulled back in.

All they were doing was a simple step pattern,

but by following Dr. Wolfgang's skilled lead,

they found themselves truly dancing.

The lopsided smile on LeVonn's muzzle brightened to a full grin.

"This is wonderful,"

they said. "I think I'd even enjoy doing this as Lt. LeGuin."

"Well, typically, you'd probably be expected to lead as Lt. LeGuin,"

Dr. Wolfgang said.

LeVonn's grin faltered a little,

but they were enjoying the whirling, twirling rhythm of the dance too much to be too troubled by the idea

of what one of their halves would be expected to do

if they were ever successfully separated.

Right now, both of their halves were happy.

They felt fancy and free.

"Is leading harder?"

LeVonn asked eventually.

"It's different," Dr. Wolfgang said.

"You're very good at it."

"It's the way I danced for many years.

years." Her ears skewed to the side --

a brief flicker before standing tall again.

"I was about to tell you earlier...

but then I got shy about it.

When I said that there were different versions of myself,

I was talking about...

Alan Wolfgang." "Alan?"

LeVonn asked. "A brother?"

Dr. Wolfgang smiled.

"No, an earlier version of me.

I was assigned the wrong gender at birth,

and it took me longer to figure it out than some.

So, I lived as Alan for many years.

My earliest academic papers were published under that name.

name." LeVonn didn't know what to say.

Then they remembered Lt. LeGuin reading a few papers

on rudimentary crystalline mathematics by Dr. Alan Wolfgang.

"Oh, I saw those papers.

Why didn't you change your name on them?"

Dr. Wolfgang shrugged,

somehow fluidly working the gesture right into their dancing.

"Being Alan was a big part of my journey.

I still might change my mind and change the name someday,

but so far, I kind of like leaving them that way."

"Does this mean you picked the name Ada for yourself?"

"That's right. Oh, I didn't ask:

what are you going by? Have you picked a name for...

well... until we get this fixed?"

"LeVonn. Fact picked it for me.

me." They continued to dance in silence.

Then Dr. Wolfgang said,

"Would you like to pick a name for yourself?

It can be very empowering

and unifying. Perhaps a first name

instead of a surname?"

LeVonn shook their head emphatically.

But they found themself thinking that

Natalie (Lt. Vonn's first name)

and Jordan (Lt. LeGuin's)

combined rather nicely

to Nathan. They could imagine someday feeling like a Nathan.

And learning how to lead while dancing might be kind of fun.

LeVonn wondered if Fact would be interested in learning to dance.

And then they realized,

they weren't afraid of the idea of asking zir.

Lt. LeGuin wouldn't be afraid to ask Fact --

his best friend -- if zhe was interested in trying out a new activity that the orange tabby cat found interesting.

And Lt. Vonn would have loved the idea of sharing an activity with Fact

where she could play to her strengths --

physical movement and social interaction.

Most of Fact's interests were too

abstract for her,

and she hadn't had much luck connecting with the android fox, no matter how infatuated she was with zir.

For once, LeVonn felt at peace,

doing something both of their sides would enjoy.

They didn't know how long it would last before something that their two sides disagreed upon violently upset their current feeling of placidly calm happiness.

But for the moment,

they were enjoying themselves.

That was enough. Sometimes,

all you can do is get by from moment to moment.

"Do you ever think about how the previous version of yourself would feel about things you're doing

in the moment?" LeVonn asked.

Dr. Wolfgang's ears skewed, but righted themselves quickly.

"Not really," she said.

"I mean, it's all just me --

Alan, Ada. So, I'd feel exactly the way I feel.

There was only one path forward for me,

and that path left the name Alan behind."

"I don't know if there are two paths forward for me...

or just one," LeVonn said.

They certainly hoped they wouldn't be stuck like this forever.

But if they were... maybe it wouldn't be untenable.

Maybe they could figure out a path forward.

"I guess it depends on the math you're doing in your head.

head." Dr. Wolfgang stopped dancing.

She stood completely still as the music continued to lilt in the air around them.

Then her ears started flicking,

and her tail tip twitched,

but only at the very end.

"Why did you stop dancing?"

LeVonn asked. "What are you thinking?"

"Two paths..." she repeated,

slowly and ponderously.

LeVonn could hardly stand the suspense.

The nature of their future might hinge

on what was happening in Dr. Wolfgang's mind,

but there was no way to hurry her into saying words faster.

The last thing LeVonn wanted to do was disrupt her thinking process,

possibly derailing an important train of thought

or even just slowing it down.

Finally, Dr. Wolfgang's wide owl eyes narrowed,

and she said, "Computer, can you create a simulation of the inside of the geode asteroid from Lt. LeGuin and Lt. Vonn's last mission,

based on the videos they transmitted back to the ship?"

"Yes," the computer answered.

"Please do so." The computer said,

"According to our analysis, there was no gravity inside the asteroid.

Do you want us to turn off the artificial gravity for a more complete simulation?"

Dr. Wolfgang's whiskers lifted in a grin,

and she said in a whisper under her breath,

"I can't believe I didn't think of this before.

before." Then raising her voice,

"Yes, computer. But of course, please maintain a breathable atmosphere.

atmosphere." The computer replied,

"Safety controls require it.

it." LeVonn's stomach flipped as the gravity vanished;

their paws floated up off the floor,

just slightly. The cheerful surroundings of the empty dance studio vanished,

replaced by a vaguely spherical cavern rising above them,

crenulated with the angular, faceted surfaces

of purple-blue crystals all around.

It was nice seeing them without the translucent pane of a spacesuit helmet in the way.

The computer had even simulated the crate of spider-radios

and lantern floating in the middle of the crystal-lined cavity.

But the brightness of the lantern couldn't compare with Dr. Wolfgang's grin.

The Bengal cat was grinning like a Cheshire cat --

a grin bright enough to melt the polar ice caps of a habitable world.

"I've tried generating simulations before,"

Dr. Wolfgang meowed.

"But they never looked like this!"

"You never had video footage to work with, right?"

"Right, just math, and scans from external sensors.

sensors." She touched a hind-paw down to the faceted crystals beneath her

and kicked off in a way that started her twirling around.

She wasn't dancing to music anymore;

she was dancing to math,

geometry, and beauty.

Her reflection twirled in the faceted crystals all around.

LeVonn watched Dr. Wolfgang revel

in this first-hand experience of her work.

Abstract concepts had become hard crystal surfaces,

things she could look at and touch,

without having to imagine them.

She floated through the cavern, swishing her tail like an ineffective rudder,

and trying to swim through the thin air by pulling and kicking at it with her paws.

She laughed. "Oh, this is wonderful.

It makes me wish I'd gotten the training necessary to actually come on the real mission.

Until today, it never seemed worth getting certified for a bunch of field missions I'd never actually go on.

on." The Lt. LeGuin half of LeVonn could sympathize,

but the Lt. Vonn half couldn't imagine the point of joining the Tri-Galactic Navy if you weren't planning on going on field missions.

Visiting strange new worlds and exploring the universe was the whole point,

wasn't it? And yet...

LeVonn remembered spending hours and hours as Lt. LeGuin,

totally contented,

working on the starship Initiative's engines,

tweaking the machinery

and fine-tuning the Zephyr Drive.

Everything the orange tabby cat had wanted was inside the engine room --

all the strange new worlds and exploration that he could ever need.

Dr. Wolfgang floated up to the far side of the cavern.

LeVonn kicked off and followed her.

When they arrived at her side,

they found her staring at the reflection of her face,

just like she'd wished she could

back when LeVonn had been inside the geode asteroid for real.

Back when they'd been two separate people.

Somewhat fearfully, LeVonn followed suit

and let their gaze fall on the reflection of their transformed,

melded face. The pale orange striped fox face stared back at them

with its swampy brown-green eyes

and semi-floppy ears.

It wasn't right. It was like looking at a photograph of yourself, where all your features look backward, because usually you see yourself in a mirror.

Or maybe like seeing yourself wearing a costume.

LeVonn could see pieces of herself

and himself in the face.

But not the entirety of either of their separate selves.

Just pieces, facets even.

They felt like a crystal that had been smashed,

and then glued back together,

mixed up with the pieces of a different crystal,

so the end result was something new.

Something wrong. But...

also beautiful. Because LeVonn couldn't deny that

they kind of liked being a half cat, half dog.

They liked looking more like Fact,

who both of their sides admired deeply.

They liked getting the good traits of both sides

-- Lt. LeGuin's sharp mind

and unflappable patience;

Lt. Vonn's friendliness,

eagerness, and physical coordination.

They blended well together.

LeVonn stopped staring at their own face and turned to look at Dr. Wolfgang.

"Why are we here?" they asked.

"You seemed like you'd had..." They were

reluctant to say the word, afraid of making it untrue.

Or maybe afraid of the opposite? "...

"...a revelation?" Dr. Wolfgang laid one of her dark paws reverently against a particularly large crystal facet.

She sighed like one might

if they'd finally met a long-time pen pal,

a deeply intimate friend

who they'd never before seen in person.

Then she lifted her paw and turned her head, returning LeVonn's gaze.

"Yes," Dr. Wolfgang said.

"All the time we were fighting and dancing,

I was trying to figure out the geometry of the crystal facets

that could have caused the two teleporter streams to combine so perfectly into one.

But when you said

'two paths,' I realized --

it was never about the geometry of the crystal facets.

facets." Dr. Wolfgang turned her gaze toward the perfectly round, dark hole of the passageway that the Initiative had carved into the asteroid with its blazor beam.

She pointed at it.

"That's the answer,"

she said. LeVonn felt their brain spark in a way that was familiar from all of Lt. LeGuin's memories but felt

exciting and new to the parts of her that still identified most with Lt. Vonn.

"You mean," they said,

"that the gap in the crystals-

-" Dr. Wolfgang was too excited to wait and rushed on with her explanation:

"The two teleporter beams bounced around the inside of the asteroid

until each of them found the only way out --

straight through the corridor!"

Her excited grin faded,

and a haunted look filled her owl eyes.

"If... if there hadn't been a corridor,

then the teleporter beams might have bounced uselessly around inside the asteroid forever...

forever..." LeVonn laid a reassuring paw on her shoulder

and pointed out, "If there'd been no corridor, we couldn't have gotten inside in the first place.

place." Dr. Wolfgang nodded soberly.

"Yes, of course." "Does this solve our problem?"

LeVonn asked. Dr. Wolfgang tilted her head,

expressing far too effortlessly that she expected a being who was half composed of Lt. LeGuin to be able to figure the answer out themself.

To their surprise,

LeVonn realized they knew the answer:

"Two corridors..." "Yes!"

Dr. Wolfgang agreed.

"Two paths forward.

We'll carve two passageways into a similar asteroid's shell,

and then--" "Teleport me out of the center, and the teleportation beam

will be divided by the two pathways!"

LeVonn's tail started wagging in excitement.

Or was that agitation?

It was a scary prospect, the idea of being teleported out of a geode asteroid a second time.

How else could it go wrong?

What new ways might their body and mind be deformed?

They didn't want to think about that.

They wanted to put the thought out of their head entirely and just forge forward.

"Come on," Dr. Wolfgang said.

"We've got work to do." #

The work went quickly,

but it still took days.

The captain declined to reinstate LeVonn's rank or duties,

but Fact and Dr. Wolfgang

let them help where they could.

Fact surveyed the asteroids, scanning them for the information necessary to make mathematical models of their interiors.

Dr. Wolfgang ran one mathematical simulation after another,

checking for an asteroid similar enough to the original one to produce the desired results.

LeVonn worked on building replacements for the spider-radios,

so that in addition to reversing their own teleporter mishap,

it would be possible to run the original experiment through to completion.

Building spider-radios was a simpler, more mechanical task

than analyzing the crystalline interiors of geodes for the right mathematical structure.

LeVonn felt a little frustrated with their inability to keep up with Dr. Wolfgang's and Fact's effortless mathematics,

but they did enjoy putting together the spider-radios.

And it was necessary work.

In the evenings, when all of their brains were too tired to think about math or electronics, Dr. Wolfgang continued teaching LeVonn how to dance.

They thought about asking Fact to join them,

but LeVonn didn't want to risk making any serious changes to their relationship during such an unstable, liminal period in their life.

Their life. There wasn't even supposed to be such a thing as

their life. And yet,

they found themselves enjoying their life anyway.

When the time came for LeVonn to carry the crate of new spider-radios to the teleporter bay

and put back on the weirdly melded spacesuit that had been created by blending Lt. LeGuin's and Lt. Vonn's suits during

the original teleporter accident...

they hesitated. What if the fix didn't work?

What if the teleporter beam bounced around inside the geode asteroid until their signal was completely garbled,

or they were split into something worse, something

less functional? Their current state wasn't ideal,

but... LeVonn could live this way.

What if trying to fix themselves...

killed them? "I'm scared,"

LeVonn said. "That is a rational emotional reaction,"

Fact replied. "Fear is a common response to uncertainty,

especially in situations with high stakes."

"The stakes feel... too high,"

LeVonn said, standing beside the crate.

As Lt. Vonn,

they'd be able to pick up the crate easily. As Lt. LeGuin, they wouldn't feel like they should be able to pick it up.

Carrying heavy crates was physical labor,

and the orange tabby cat

had simply known that wasn't what he was best suited for.

LeVonn knelt down beside the crate,

grabbed it from the bottom with their paws, and tilted its weight against their chest.

They lifted it and stood there,

awkwardly holding a heavy crate.

It was hard, but they could do it.

"Maybe... maybe I should just stay this way.

I could do the rest of the mission -- setup all the spider-radios in the right places -- and then just...

come home." Fact tilted zir head quizzically.

Zir eyes might be made from real gold irises encased in translucent polymers,

but they showed as much compassion as any pair of biological eyes.

"Is that what you really want?

Most likely, you'd need to return to the naval academy to regain your rank,

as this version of yourself has not been tested or proven to have the mettle of a full Tri-Galactic Navy officer.

officer." LeVonn shifted the awkwardly large and heavy crate in their arms and sighed.

They didn't want to start their life over.

But they didn't want to risk their life either.

Yet risking their life was a day to day part of a Tri-Galactic Navy officer's job.

But not for nothing.

They risked their lives for meaningful advances in diplomacy, knowledge, science...

Real changes in the state of progress among all thinking beings in the universe.

Dr. Wolfgang approached the pair of strange foxes --

white-furred android and pale orange-striped tabby fusion.

"I am sure of my math," she said.

"I didn't know what would happen before,

but I know what will happen this time:

it will work." "I know," LeVonn said.

They didn't doubt Dr. Wolfgang's math.

Not really. LeVonn smiled weakly and nodded, as if they'd been reassured.

Then they began the long trek through the corridors to the teleporter bay.

As they walked, LeVonn began to wonder --

were they scared because they thought it wouldn't work...

or were they scared because they knew it would,

and they were afraid of being disappointed and, maybe,

lonely, once they'd been separated out into two people?

They kept moving, mechanically, through the steps of the mission --

teleport into space,

watch the Initiative carve two holes into the asteroid with blazor cannons,

fly with their jetpack inside,

and setup all the spider-radios.

This time, they weren't interrupted by any marauding Pollengi

vessels. And they took their time, knowing that each

spider-radio they placed brought them one step closer to teleporting out

and dissolving their current identity.

LeVonn remembered worrying as a small kitten --

in Lt. LeGuin's memories, obviously --

that when he went to sleep at night,

he'd forget the train of his thoughts and wake up in the morning a different kitten.

A kitten who looked the same,

had basically the same memories and same life,

but because his brain had been reset by sleeping,

he was worried he'd lose a piece of himself.

An important piece that he didn't want to let go of...

He'd been a terror for his poor parents, never easy to put to bed,

always popping back up with one more question or needing one more drink of water.

LeVonn felt like that now.

If they just kept checking and rechecking the positioning of each spider-radio,

then they wouldn't have to call back to the ship, say they were ready,

and teleport into two separate pieces.

Fragmentary selves.

When had that happened?

Somewhere along the way, Lt. LeGuin and Lt. Vonn had become facets of themself --

instead of whole people

who would have longed to,

been desperate to -- return to their own lives.

Dr. Wolfgang's voice crackled to life over the radio,

"Sensors show that the radios are all properly positioned.

Is there a reason for the delay?"

There was only one correct answer --

no. No reason. But LeVonn didn't want to say it.

Because then their life would

be over. Dr. Wolfgang spoke again,

her voice softer than before:

"You know, there are always a multitude of paths in front of us. I said before that there was only one path for me,

but I was simplifying.

I'm a mathematician.

We like to simplify things.

things." LeVonn laughed, halfheartedly.

Half of two hearts, though,

makes a full one.

The thought made them sad.

"It only seemed like there'd been one path -- and only one path for me --

in retrospect, because

I found the right one.

A path that made me happy.

happy." Commander Wilker's voice joined Dr. Wolfgang's on the radio,

"Excuse me for interrupting, but are you scientists about ready to proceed?"

"Don't take a path just because it's the one you're expected to take,"

Dr. Wolfgang said.

Then the line went silent, and LeVonn found themself alone with their thoughts,

surrounded by crystal faces

reflecting their singular body into a multitude of slightly skewed versions.

What did they want to do?

"I have a question,"

LeVonn said, "before I teleport back.

back." After a moment, Commander Wilker barked,

"Go ahead." LeVonn was afraid to say the question out loud, because once it was shared with the crew members listening over the comm,

then it would be known that they had doubts.

Doubts about who they were.

But they couldn't proceed without asking.

Asking the question was the only path forward for them in that moment.

"What if I change my mind?"

LeVonn said. "Could we use another geode,

drill only a single corridor into it,

and put me back like this?"

The aftermath of the question hung in the silence,

echoing in LeVonn's own ears.

Dr. Wolfgang broke the silence:

"Mathematically? Yes.

Yes." A moment later, the voice of the ship's doctor, Dr. Keller woofed,

"Biologically, I don't see any reason why it couldn't be done.

done." The silence returned.

In spite of LeVonn's fears, no one asked,

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Okay," LeVonn said. "I'm ready.

Teleport me back." #

When the fizzy champagne bubbly feeling of quantum energy cleared from LeVonn's vision,

they saw Fact standing

at the teleporter control panel

and filled with relief at the sight.

They were about to say,

"It didn't work..." But before they could, Fact said, "Lt. LeGuin! It's so good to have you back!" Zhe

stepped around the control panel and toward the teleporter pad,

and then walked right

past them. LeVonn turned, face falling, and saw Lt. LeGuin --

completely feline, bright orange with perfectly erect ears, and totally blind without his techno-focal goggles --

standing beside them on the pad.

Beside her. She looked down and saw her paws --

yellow, big, and blunt clawed.

She reached up and touched the side of her face,

the tip of her floppy ear.

She was a yellow Labrador.

She was Lt. Natalie Vonn again.

And a rush of cold loneliness filled her belly, replacing the fizzy, giggly feeling of teleportation.

They'd made a terrible mistake.

She felt like half a person, and she reached toward her other half.

Lt. LeGuin reached out too...

But he wasn't reaching toward her. He was

reaching toward Fact, who held out a pair of techno-focal goggles.

The orange tabby took the goggles from Fact's white paws.

He placed them over his eyes and sighed

with evidently deep relief. "Oh goodness," he meowed,

"it's so wonderful to be myself again.

again." Lt. Vonn felt crushed.

She didn't feel wonderful.

She'd been discarded by her other half,

deemed unnecessary.

A flaw in the perfect crystal that was Lt.

LeGuin.

Fact turned toward her.

The arctic fox's gold eyes shone warmly.

"Welcome back, Lt. Vonn. The ship has not been the same without you." Lt.

Vonn's tail wagged tentatively.

She wanted so badly to interpret Fact's words in a positive way.

Surely, the android

meant them kindly? Lt. LeGuin stepped closer, and he took hold of Lt. Vonn's paw.

She felt steadied by his grasp.

"Fact," Lt. LeGuin meowed,

"would you mind giving Natalie and me a moment alone?"

"Most assuredly," Fact agreed.

"I will see you in engineering later.

later." The fox nodded at zir feline friend. Then zhe

nodded at Lt. Vonn.

She thought she saw a wisp of a smile on zir angular muzzle.

Once Fact was gone, and the two halves of LeVonn were once again alone together, Lt. LeGuin took hold of both of Lt. Vonn's paws.

"You helped me remember how much I love being myself," Lt. LeGuin meowed.

"I'm deeply grateful for that."

It felt like he was twisting the knife.

"In return," he said,

"I want you to know that --

yes, Fact is genuinely happy to have you back.

back." Lt. Vonn caught a sob in the back of her throat before it could escape.

"I know you have trouble reading zir," Lt. LeGuin said.

"So, I thought I'd say it plainly for you.

you." Lt. Vonn nodded,

not trusting herself to say any words.

"You're worrying that you're the lesser half,"

he said, continuing on in a way that was

uncharacteristic of him.

He was usually someone who got lost in thought and forgot to say those thoughts out loud.

"But that's not why I'm happy to be myself again.

It's not that I wanted to be rid of you. It's not

that I didn't... kind of think we were better as one.

It's just, I needed to be..."

"You." "Yeah, me." The yellow Labrador and orange tabby stood in silence together,

paws clasped tightly,

as if squeezing hard enough could make them into a single person again.

Then Lt. LeGuin's hold loosened.

Lt. Vonn tried to loosen her hold in return.

It was harder for her.

"This is a rough transition,"

she said. "We already had a rough transition," Lt. LeGuin countered. "And you

handled that okay.

okay." His feline face twisted into a smile.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Are you sure it wasn't you who handled it?"

He shook his head.

"No, I'd have never thought to get out of my head and throw myself at the floor repeatedly until I figured out how to live with my new, more confusing, more complicated self." Lt. Vonn laughed. "Yeah,

rolling around on the floor is more of a dog thing." Lt.

LeGuin swished his tail jauntily.

"Dancing turned out to be both of our thing though,

right?" Lt. Vonn nodded.

"Maybe we can go dancing again?"

he asked. "I'd like that."

"Now that Dr. Wolfgang's experiment is completed, she won't be around to dance with us much longer..."

"But we have two bodies now..."

"Exactly my thinking!" Lt. LeGuin's face brightened, whiskers rising with his grin.

"Would you mind, though, if we took turns learning how to lead?"

"It does seem like --

gender roles aside -- I'd probably be better at it,"

Lt. Vonn mused.

"Consider it a plan.

plan." The orange tabby turned,

ready to rush off to engineering.

But Lt. Vonn said,

"Wait... when you've analyzed the results from the experiment...

you know, from those radios we set up...

Will you tell me about what you find out?"

His grin grew even brighter.

"You know it'll mostly be complicated math that will take years for us to sort out, right?"

"I know," Lt. Vonn said.

"But I'd still like to hear about it."

"It'd be my honor,"

he replied. Then Lt. Vonn watched her smaller, cleverer, clumsier, feline half walk away.

She thought she was sad to see him go,

but then she felt her tail wagging.

She might miss the sharpness of LeGuin in her mind,

but she felt the happiness of being herself again,

flowing throughout her body.

This was the second and final part of

“Crystal Fusion” by Mary E. Lowd,

read for you by the author herself.

As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,

or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

And if you have a story you think would be a good fit,

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