In this episode of Saint Louis in Tune, hosts Arnold Stricker and Mark Langston review shows from the past year, share Christmas songs you may want to avoid, and highlight some of the best jokes of the year. The hosts reflect on the community-driven aspects of their show, celebrating some of their top episodes on topics like tariffs, local festivals, personal stories of loss, and historical figures.

They also provide a humorous take on often-overlooked Christmas tunes and share a plethora of puns and jokes to keep listeners entertained. The episode also acknowledges their sponsor, Better Rate Mortgage, and encourages listeners to listen, like, and share Saint Louis In Tune with their friends.

[00:00] Introduction and Show Overview

[00:41] Santa Claus Stories and Jokes

[03:14] Top Shows of 2025

[06:04] Memorable Interviews and Guests

[16:15] Worst Christmas Songs

[25:34] Fruitcake Memories and Heavy Metal Christmas

[25:56] Hilarious Christmas Song Reactions

[29:07] Jokes Galore: From Neighbors to Teachers

[33:29] Misquotes and Famous Lines

[35:03] Language Fun and Puns

[44:32] Van Gogh's Family Tree and More Jokes

[50:30] Wrapping Up with Christmas Cheer

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we review our 2025 show lineup, reminiscing about our favorite moments and guests, and trust me, there were some real gems!
• We share our least favorite Christmas songs, which you absolutely do not want to hear while sipping your eggnog, because some of them are just plain awful!
• The podcast reflects on the importance of community, highlighting various local events and discussions that shape our society—it's all about staying connected!
• We also dish out some wonderfully cheesy jokes that will make you groan, laugh, or maybe even both, proving that humor is still alive and well in St. Louis!
• There's a heartfelt segment discussing coping with loss, showcasing how sharing experiences can foster healing and connection among people.
• We get into the nitty-gritty of our top episodes from the past year, from talking tariffs to the vibrant music scene in Washington, Missouri—there's something for everyone here!

This is Season 8! For more episodes, go to stlintune.com

#stlintune

Welcome to St. Louis in tune, and thank you for joining us for fresh perspectives on issues and events with experts, community leaders, and everyday people who make a difference in shaping our society and world. I'm Arnold Stricker, along with the smiling Mark Langston. Have you ever played Santa Claus?

Have I played Santa Claus?

Yes.

Isn't it fun?

It is, it is. I used to.

Do you put pillows in and everything like that?

Oh, yeah. You got to put a pillow in.

How many pillows do you need?

I don't need many.

Did you use feather pillows or did you use, like those.

Like they have those heads, the foam, whatever's available usually. So sometimes it looks like I have a big midriff bulge or it's a. I don't know, it's just.

Or a quilt underneath a quilt.

Yeah, there's something down there. I know. I did it years ago for my son's early childhood center.

Yeah.

So I had a Santa Claus around. A Santa Claus costume around. A couple of years ago, everybody was enjoying Christmas. I went upstairs, put it on, it came down. Ho, ho, yeah. So.

And the jokes prevailed. I was able to look up some adult Santa jokes. We were all adults, so they were pretty good. I'll spare you from them right here.

Not suitable for the air.

No, but they were fun and it was fun. So now every year it's. Is Santa coming? So my advice, Arnold, is don't do it unless you want to do it. Every year I've tried to pawn it off on my kids.

Hey, it's time for. Yeah. It's time for you to be Santa.

Absolutely.

I'm not doing that.

But once they do it.

I know. Have you ever been Santa?

I have.

How? Have you? Yeah.

For some really young kids. Yeah, it was fun.

Nothing for the family?

No.

We should try that sometime.

Yeah. We wear antlers, too. Yeah. Yeah.

When everybody's in there eating and talking and carrying on and everything goes slip off to the bedroom and sticking on, all of a sudden. Come through. It would. It'd be a big hit. And then people getting pictures with me.

Do you remember those Santa pictures? Were you ever. Did you ever take. Get those taken when you were a child? Yes. Down at Famous Bar or Sticks. Baron Fuller.

Oh, yeah. Art Crestwood Plaza.

Yeah. I gotta wait in line.

It was a big deal.

Oh, absolutely.

Is it that big anymore?

No. Isn't that occasionally Galleria they do something like that.

Yeah, it's a little sad. That was a lot of fun for.

Sign of the Times.

Yeah, sign up for a lot of fun. I'll be saying that sometime.

There you go.

Ho ho ho.

Folks, we're glad that you've joined us today. We want to thank our sponsor, Better Rate Mortgage for their support of the show.

You can listen to previous shows@stlintune.com please help us continue to grow by leaving a review on our website, Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast platform.

And this is just not all the shows that I mentioned to you have a year's worth of listens to them. In other words, there may be a show that we did four weeks ago that has X amount of listens to it.

But to compare these really you have to do a year to year comparison. So these are just the shows so far this year. But the tariff show was the number one listening show and we did that one of all days, April 1st.

Or it was released April 1st.

That was a good show.

I was remember that very well called Buckle up for tariffs glory days or Chasing a Mirage. And we had a guest talking about what tariffs were good and bad. Got a lot of listens and a lot of comments on that one.

Yeah, and that was back in like you say, April 1st when the tariff.

Onslaught was getting ready to hit and was being talked about quite a bit.

We have a little history now with the tariffs. I don't want to bring the show down. They got repealed, but I don't think I know. But there's stuff going on right now with tariffs.

Hey, but all that money is going to be going to come back to us.

Oh my gosh, never mind. This is the whole show again. Yeah, it's not working too well I don't think. But.

And if you've never been to the Washington, Missouri ock fest, you better go because that was the second number one listen or the second listened to show and we released that one that was in late August because they had that oxfest. I think it was right around that time. The show was right before then.

And a lot of good things happening down in Washington, Missouri for that music festival.

We're talking triple digits on these downloads too. And that's Just in a couple of months. That was the end of August.

And we've, like I said, at the front end of the show, we talk about a variety of things. And I always get the question, what's your show about? Or what do you talk about? Or what do you do?

And it's really things that interest Mark and myself and maybe reading something, maybe hearing something, watching something on other media, or somebody's talking to me and I'm like, I'm curious about that or I'm interested in that. We also have some people that bring things to us. The New Jewish Book Festival or the Jewish Book Festival brings things to us and some.

The movie festival brings things to us. And so we do some occasional things like that.

We also have a publisher in town, Reedy Press, that bring books to us, which are with some interesting topics, too. And we're going to talk more about that in a few minutes. The third was coping with Loss, Embracing the pain and cherishing the moments.

And that was a woman who lost her son and a tragic kind of situation and how she was dealing with loss. And that's a tough one for people go through and how they deal with that and the lingering kinds of things. And it was more.

She's created more of a memorial to her son and doing this because the more she talks about it, she explained, the more it is healing for her. And she's impacted other people who have gone through similar things like that.

Wow. It's just sad. Just such a sad. The next one, though, on the list was pretty interesting, I thought. Yeah.

Harry Weber, sculpting history. Went out to Harry's studio out in Wright City and talked with him for. Gosh, I actually talked with him probably for about four hours and then come.

Then wheeled the show down to about an hour. And Harry is famous for the sculptures outside of Busch Stadium. Many people will know those ballplayers. He's done those.

He's also done other national and international kind of bronzes, some in New York City, some of them hockey players. Jackie Joyner, Kersey. He's done things around the state, so he's very well known and had a great time talking with him.

He also came to Webster groves at McConnell Burr and did a show there and was very well attended. And he had some of his artwork up and all of the bronzes laid out there. He did a big Lewis and Clark statue, actually, down on the Mississippi River.

You see it? The Captain's Return.

Okay.

And when it floods, the captain was underwater. I think they moved it out. He Also did the statue of Dread and Harriet Scott in front of the old courthouse in St. Louis.

Now, how old is Harry Weber?

I think Harry is 83.

Wow.

Okay.

And he's still. When I talked with him last, he was working on a large piece at the time, and we're talking like 8ft tall or something like that.

Well, that's young. 83 is nowadays. Yeah. And didn't he do a couple of. Is this. Can I tell a couple of baseball players that they put in the basement kind of.

Yes.

Tucked away, just in case Mark McGuire is done.

If Mark McGuire gets a chance to get to the hall of Fame because of the quote unquote, steroid usage. And also he has completed Albert Pujols, and I believe he's completed Yadier Molina.

Ah.

And there's. Because I think those two players are. They're destined for the hall of Fame in Cooperstown. They're ready. And a great relationship with the Cardinals.

Just in case.

Yes.

Just in case he doesn't reach a hundred.

They said, why don't you get these done? And he goes before. He is a very, very kind gentleman. And that's his personality.

That's great. Yeah. And after that interview last time I was at the Busch Stadium, I went up to those statues and I could see his little scribbles on there.

An HW or something, I think. I can't remember what H. Weber. That's what he put on there.

I'm gonna sneeze here.

Okay. So that was. And that was. Bless you.

Excuse me.

Yeah, but that was interesting to see.

Yeah, it is very interesting.

Especially after hearing the interview.

He's done a lot of sports things then we had. That's. There was a cutoff there a little bit.

Not much, but. No, there was.

Boy, there was. Let's see. Oh, my. There. There's quite a few. I'm looking down the list right now because there was the Holocaust, the hidden her.

I think that was at the bottom of the list, unfortunately.

But because it was one of the last shows we did.

Was it? Okay. Yeah. That was really one that I. And the boxing and wrestling and beer show that we did.

Yes.

Because wrestling has been such a big thing here in St. Louis.

Yes.

I think there's a big wrasslin match coming up. Too. Savvy or something like that. Yeah.

So some of those out there was the outdoor enthusiast show with the big expo, which I found to be pretty interesting. Yeah.

Especially if you're an outdoor kind of person. That's the place to be.

Yep. And there was an anti Semitism one. Those kind of things are important to me.

And one thing I like about the show is that we don't just stick to St. Louis. I know it's called St. Louis in Tune, but it certainly by no stretch of the imagination is restricted to just what's going.

Yeah, we do the Jewish festival and those kind of things, but we deal with subjects that are important not only to the nation, but to the world.

As an example of that, from Spruce Goose to space, the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum, which is in McMinnville, Oregon.

There you go.

We're doing a show about something that happens in Oregon. Another one that would be very similar to that would be. We did a show about. I'm trying to find it here. There it is.

Behind the glitz, the dark side of Vegas and sex trafficking.

There you go. Yeah.

So we're talking about Las Vegas and what's going on there. And this is either through a book or it's through somebody who's an executive director or somebody who's an expert in the field that we.

We go seeking these people out. And that's how we come up with.

Some of the shows in St. Louis. We have so many people that are from all these different areas. So it becomes really a fascinating thing.

So I love history, and so I lean to that. I lean to music.

But a couple that jumped out to me that were some of my favorites were one on Meet Thaddeus Stevens, the original civil rights advocate. And sometimes, folks doing these shows, it's to inform you to like, wow, I didn't know that. Wow, I didn't know that.

And we are always amazed at what we don't know and what we learn by doing the show and talking to the guests. So we talk to. I go to try to find the. Who's the source? Who's the best person to talk to on Thaddeus Stevens? And that's who we went to.

And then another one was John Andrew Jackson, the escaped slave who inspired Uncle Tom's Cavern. Who would have. Nobody knew about that. Maybe they did. We didn't know about that. And so what do we do? We go to the source.

Who is the best person to explain that and give us the history of that. And that's where we went.

We had one show with the prosecuting attorney for the Holocaust people.

That was Fritz Bauer. That was the Holocaust hidden hero. Okay, Fritz Bauer.

What a great. And 314 day. There's a. That's kind of a local twist. I had no idea how 314 day was. It's nice to know how it was created. What they're doing now.

They're not making any money at this. This is all out of love of community for those guys.

And those are the kinds of things we like to have groups, nonprofit groups, because they don't get their fair shake or their fair due. One of the groups related to that was on stuttering.

And we had some experts come in and talk about stuttering and the impact that has and how stuttering is now changing, how they're approaching people who stutter, what the way to deal if you do stutter. Just let it all hang out. It's like this. Don't apologize. Don't try to cover it up. But that was a very interesting show.

I'm looking for the name of that one.

That was a fascinating show. We even had a show on the Letters from home, World War II. Very touching. What research that author did on that. I don't remember his name. I'm sorry.

But there was a lot of History of St. Louis Letters that were sent from World War II from the front lines, also from home to the front lines. And just such an emotional. People forget about World War II, and I really wish they wouldn't.

And people forget about. I think we go through our lives. I don't know about our listeners, Mark. The listeners listen in on this one.

If we just go through life, we've got our own situations going on, and maybe we're not as, no pun intended, in tune with what's going on around us. And there's a lot of things happening with people and why people do some of the things they do.

And some of the information that came out of those letters was just incredible. I was able to link from those letters to some of the things my father was involved with. So that was cool.

Wow. Yeah. It's a whole lost generation.

Yeah. That stuttering show was called Understanding Stuttering, Personal Stories and Professional perspectives.

We had three experts in from St. Louis University, the National Stuttering association, and unbelievable kinds of things.

Yeah, that was an amazing show.

And if you're approaching Medicare time, there was a master class we did Essentials for All Ages. You need to check that one out. That was really good.

Yep. It was called Essentials for All Ages. You should go to stlintune.com and look it up. Stlintune.com and essentials for All Ages.

If you're getting up there or you're just Thinking about it or you're heading that way, it's always good to know, hey, what's going on there?

And if you need some mortgage assistance, this is our sponsor, Better rate Mortgage. Sean Zelmanoff came in and talked about tips and advice.

Oh, yeah.

On unlocking some mortgage secrets. And there was this things like I didn't even know about that. I didn't know about what's right. Why don't people tell us about this?

That's why we have these folks on the show.

And it's hard to get a house. I can't imagine buying a house now. Yeah, I know. You're building onto a house right now.

Yeah, that's the problem of problematic enough.

I know. But I can't imagine. I don't know how the kids do it now.

So that's a rundown, folks, of some of that stuff. And we hope that you, like Mark said, go to st.luntune.com and check out what's going on there. We're on all the podcast platforms.

You can check us out on Facebook or on Instagram or on YouTube and see what's going on there.

Yeah. And we've been. How long has this show been running?

We are completing our eighth year, Mark.

Wow. And this is show number 367.

Wow.

Eight years in show 367. I don't know of many. You say we didn't do 52 shows last year, but we did pretty close to it. And we did really close to that. So that's.

It's pretty good clip.

Yeah.

Pretty good clip.

So we're moving pretty good.

So we're gonna take a little hiatus here and we're gonna be right back with some of the worst Christmas songs that you should never listen to right here in St. Luis Antune. As strange as it may sound, at Better Rate mortgage, we love talking to people about mortgages. Everyone in St. Louis promises a better mortgage rate.

But what you really need to turn that perfect house into your dream home is a better mortgage. At Better Rate mortgage, we open the door to so much more. So where are you in the home buying process?

Researching, maybe wondering how much you can afford? House hunting. Get a pre approval from better rate mortgage ready to buy.

Our team is ready to make your mortgage process fast and easy, whether you're purchasing your first home or taking cash out to make your dream home even dreamier. Our door is open. Come on in and get started. Today. We'll show you how. Call Sean directly at 314-375-329.

Lender.

The decision declared that Dred Scott could not be free because he was not a citizen.

The Dred Scott Heritage foundation is requesting a commemorative stamp to be issued from the US Postal Service to recognize and remember the heritage of this amendment by issuing a stamp with the likeness of the man Dred Scott. But we need your support and the support of thousands of people who would like to see this happen.

To achieve this goal, we ask you to download, sign and share the one page petition with others. To find the petition, please go to dredscottlives.org and click on the Dred Scott Petition drive on the right side of the page.

On behalf of the Dred Scott Heritage foundation, this has been Arnold Stricker of St. Louis in tune.

This is one of the favorite things we like to do around this time of the year and we've done this in previous years and sometimes we've played the whole song. We're just gonna play a portion of the song because some are so bad you don't want to listen to any more than we have.

These are some Christmas songs are really good and you hear those and they're catchy, they're in your head. And some of the songs are the words and the music's good, but it's the performance of those songs that actually makes them bad.

So it's not necessarily the lyrics or this music in some of these situations as much as it could be the performance, but it could be both.

Is it bad that you have to set the thing up like this?

How about Funky Christmas?

Ho ho oh little train, my little elf Another great Christmas Ah man A great fun. It's fun. Same thing every year. So let's have a funky Christmas no, I'm down.

Let's go.

Come on. Come on.

Huh?

Where's that coming from? Check it out. Hey, yo, that's my homeboy. New Kids on the Block hey, this is pretty funky.

Have a funky, funky Christmas. Have a funky, funky Christmas.

Kids on the Block it's Christmas time.

We'Re going to celebrate with Daddy D. Are you ready? Ready as a lady.

Jordan and John.

Yeah.

Come on.

Oh, my.

I think I see what you're talking about.

Oh, my.

Yeah, I don't think I could have taken a whole lot more.

That was the New Kids on the Block.

Is that right?

Yeah, I guess they should move.

They should. Different neighborhood, but. Oh, gosh.

I'll let Mark cue this one up and play it, and then I'll tell you who it was afterwards.

Okay. Ready?

Ready.

Here we go.

Archie, where are you? Oh, there you. If you come over here, you'll find a wonderful surprise. You'll have to plug into the central computer to hear what it is. That's right.

No, it's not a phase letter. It's your Christmas present.

I do deeply wish you a merry Christmas. I do need to. We love you. It's true. I just need to wish you a merry Christmas we hope our little message gets to you we look.

Up at the winter star we know.

Okay, hold on a second.

Oh, my. Jon Bon Jovi. What are you thinking, dude? R2D2. We wish you a merry Christmas.

And that was Bon Jovi?

Yes.

What's wrong with that guy?

He must be hard up for money. A lot of these folks like to do a Christmas album. They record it in July or something. Who writes this stuff?

I don't know.

Wow.

What record label allows that?

Oh, my goodness.

Gosh.

Okay, here's. I only chose five. Oh, really? So here's number three, folks.

But do you recall, was that the most famous reindeer of all? Come on. Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose and if you ever saw it, you would even say it close. Come on. Come on.

All of the other reindeers. You still have to call him names. Benevolent. Poor Rudolph Join any reindeer games in one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came.

Dmx.

Dm. Oh, dmx. Okay.

Dmx. Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer.

I would have never known or thought that at all.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was like. What's that? I like those background vocals on that one.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh. This, I think, is probably one of my favorites.

Really?

You have a Favorite Blue Monty. Dominic the donkey.

Yeah.

It's Dominic the Dunk. The Italian Christmas donkey. La la la la la la la la la la. Santa's got a little friend. His name is Dominic the cutest little donkey.

You never see him kick. When Santa visit, visits his pisans with Dominic he'll be. Because the Reindee cannot climb the hills of Italy.

Hey, Jing.

It's Dominic the Donkey. Jing the Italian Christmas donkey.

And that was actually you singing in the background.

I like that. The Italian donkey. Dominic the Italian.

We're gonna save that for later. That's quite a song there. I would say that's.

Yeah. And I only did part of that one.

Maybe we should.

That one actually is like a 2 minute and 25 second song.

Is that right? That's it. He's an Italian donkey.

Italian donkey.

Wow. This is. This is classic.

Yeah, Santa must be part of the Cosa Nostra.

We'll put that in heavy rotation for the Christmas music.

Oh, I don't know, folks, if you go find these things, but this is why you listen to our show. Because we find these things for you.

You don't. You turn it off.

That's a great thing to play when you have a bad Christmas sweater party.

Oh, perfect.

You play all the bad Christmas songs because it complements the bad Christmas sweaters.

This is a great idea. See, that's. That's why you're in charge.

And you can serve fruitcake. I always thought that was the nastiest stuff. You buy that.

Have you ever eaten fruitcake?

I think I had it once.

I. I've never. And I can't.

I think my parents used to pass the same one around.

Oh, sure they did. That was. That was the thing back then.

It was disgusting.

When you gave me 10 years ago and it still looks like the day.

You made it, it's hard as a stone. Oh, and then for, you know, now there's folks out there who really like heavy metal music. Okay, I'm not one and I don't apologize for it.

You don't like this? Don't like heavy metal.

You'll be very curious about this particular song because you're going to hear the Little Drummer Boy and Silent Night in A Heavy Metal Christmas by Christopher Lee.

Pay for your.

Little Drummer Boy must be lost.

Yeah.

There's still time.

Transitioning to Silent Night.

Okay, wait one second. I just can't do it.

Can you imagine playing that at night, like on Christmas Eve with the speakers blaring?

Oh, my gosh. Man, they were making them guitars talk.

Oh, My gosh.

That was like that. We were jamming.

I heard that one. That was as good as Izzy Pop. White Christmas.

Oh, I don't think. I don't remember that one. Maybe if I heard it, I'd know it for sure. Wow.

Just unbelievable.

That is. That's some Christmas song.

Unbelievable.

Mariah Carey to shame.

Make me want to listen to Mariah Carey every day. I know.

Or this guy here.

Hey, Jingity, it's Dominic the donkey.

Okay, hold on. Dominic. Oh, Dominic the donkey.

Dominic the donkey.

That's going to be our new Christmas song. Wow.

So there you are.

No matter where you go there, we've.

Done 10 of those. We've done 15 of those. I thought, hey, let's just cut it down to five and have a bigger laugh.

We can't take any more than five. Oh, my God.

All right, all right, all right.

No, go ahead, go ahead. No, I was gonna say you have jokes. I thought you said you threatened us.

I have 18 pages of jokes.

You threatened us. I don't know if I have that many. No, they don't want. No, don't. Don't encourage them.

Folks, Pistachio Gallery.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Here we go. We got a lot of jokes. All right, all right. Okay.

My neighbor's dog is always chasing people on bikes. It's gotten so bad, we had to take his bike away. And Mark.

Yeah?

You see a lot of different wreaths made out of pinecones and holly and stuff like that. What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills? Not on my door, you're not Aretha Franklin's.

Wow.

That's actually clever. I don't want to admit it, but it's clever.

The local movie theater is cracking down on people sneaking in outside. Candy and snacks. That's okay. I have a few Twix up my sleeves. And teachers are really.

They're on top of kids with problems when they write and things like that. My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that, I'm eternally grapefruit.

You warned us about this.

Yeah. And another teacher, the chemistry teacher, asked a class, what is barium? And some student yelled out, it's what you do after you kill him.

There.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, I might tell some wife jokes, but it doesn't have anything to do with my wife. Love her dearly.

It's my wife.

I had accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of her Chapstick. She's still not talking to me.

Wow.

And one spelling mistake can ruin your marriage. I accidentally texted my wife, I'm having a great time. I wish you were her.

You are in trouble. Oh, wow. I don't know how you get out of that way.

What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court?

I don't. Standing. Let's see. Let's see. Wait a minute. A farmer in this field is standing outstanding in this field? I don't know.

A girl standing in the middle of a tennis court is called Annette.

Would have never got that one.

And you ever seen this? Tag on clothing for best results. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low, never iron for worse results. Drag through puddle behind car.

Blow dry on roof rack.

Take a mile with you.

Speaking of clothing, the man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

Wow.

These are really bad.

And for all of you who are going to get through the holidays and you'll have these New Year's resolutions to work out and all that stuff, I'm terrified of elevators, and I'm taking steps to avoid them. And that relates to getting back in shape by taking steps. One of the new guys at the auto shop said, there's a problem with the tractor.

This tractor has water in the carburetor. And another mechanic said, water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous. Guy said, I'm telling you, the tractor has water in the carburetor.

I said, you don't even know where the carburetor is. Where's the tractor? It's in the pond.

We knew it was coming.

Last night. I yanked out a couple of nose hairs just to see if it hurt. And judging by how fast my wife woke up screaming, I guess the answer is yes.

These wife jokes are gonna get you in big trouble.

And for those of teachers, you teachers out there, my son got sent out of class at school for being too sarcastic. The teacher yelled at him, what would you parents say if I called them? He replied, hello.

I'm not encouraging you.

And apparently stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people that are stressing you.

That is.

Now, these are some kind of serious things, but they're famous misquotes that everyone still repeats. So there's the misquote is mirror, mirror on the wall. And the actual line from Snow White says, magic mirror on the wall.

Another one was, luke, I am your father. And the actual line is, no, I am your father.

Oh, really?

And then we hear this, elementary, my dear Watson. But Holmes never said it in the books, only in later Films I'll be.

Darn, I never knew.

And Casablanca.

Huh?

1942. It was Humphrey Bogart. People say, play it again, Sam. The actual line is, play it, Sam.

No.

Yes.

This is good information.

So you learn things on St. Louis every time.

Every time. I know.

And Star Trekkies out there. You Trekkies. You ready for this one? Beam me up, Scotty never spoken in Star Trek.

You mean star.

The closest line was, scotty, beam us up.

I'll be darn, I never.

And then from the Apollo 13 mission. Houston, we have a problem, right? Nope. Houston, we've had a problem.

What?

I can't. I've never. Yeah, yeah.

Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. Nope. If you build it, he will come.

Who? This is all.

Let's see here.

Those are pretty good. I never. Yeah, you could do a whole show around that stuff.

Yeah, that's just getting your language correct and stuff like that. Speaking of language and interesting things, a piece of string walks into a bar mark. Bartender says, hey, we don't serve your kind in here.

So the string goes outside, twists himself around, rubs himself up and down. He walks back into the bar. The bartender says, hey, aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out the string says, no, I'm afraid not. See?

Language, it matters. That's kind of like when Uncle Frank passed. He wanted to be cremated and put in his favorite beer mug. Now he is Frank Instein. Art.

It's that awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and just walks right by you. If you ever think English is not a weird language, just remember that. Read and lead, rhyme and read and lead, rhyme. But read and lead don't rhyme.

And neither do read and lead.

That's Paysco.

I had it right.

I bet. I bet that's not an easy one to do. No.

And you've heard the saying about give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and Suddenly he's out $3,000 on rod reels, flies and waiters. Then he boat in a truck.

That's right.

You know, I told a joke on a zoom meeting. No one laughed. It turns out I'm not remotely funny.

Yeah, that's a foul. That's a foul ball.

And I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic, thinking I was late for work. And then, thankfully, I was at work.

What is that?

I just saw this fellow going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet. And I Thought to myself, man, he's really pushing his luck.

That scares me.

And it's been discovered that William Tell and his son belong to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors. So we'll never get to know for whom the Tell's bowled.

Knew it was going to be really bad. That was really bad.

And there's been some accidents recently. A truck was loaded with Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours. Now back to some language.

Minute and minute shouldn't be spelled the same. I'm not content with this content. Oh, I object to that. Object. I need to read what I read again. Excuse me, but there's no excuse for this.

That's good. That's good stuff. You're educa. Lighting me.

Yeah. Okay.

Educalatin.

Edukalatin.

Yeah, whatever that is.

And folks who have a dog, pay attention. Ring your doorbell on your way to bed at night. This will clear the dogs off your bed long enough for you to get in and get comfortable.

That's right. And then you can't move.

Speaking of animals, I've wondered if songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words.

Yes, they do. I think that's probably a lot of truth to that.

Yeah. And if you're in St. Louis, you got to watch this one. My youngest daughter had her driving test today. She got eight out of 10.

The other two jumped out of the way.

Oh, no, this is more then there was.

Sometimes at funerals, you really don't know what to say. So this one guy, he was asking somebody else and he says, I hate funerals. I never know what to say.

And the other person said, just say, I'm sorry for your loss and move on. So the guy goes to the widow, I'm sorry for your loss. Move on. And have you ever wondered this? Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who's not buying it?

Oh, that's really true. That's. Boy, that's.

Yeah. And Mark, the next time your wife gets mad, drape a towel over her shoulders like a cape and say, now you're super angry.

Maybe she'll laugh, but maybe you'll die.

Bury me in the backyard by the tree.

And I just cleared out some space in the freezer. It sounds so much more productive than. I just polished off another pint of ice cream. Three golf clubs went into a bar. The putter asked for a beer.

The wedge ordered tequila. The third said, nothing for me, I'm the driver?

No, sorry.

For his birthday, I took my grandson to an orchard and we stood there looking at trees for half an hour. Not the apple watch he was expecting, apparently.

Hands on those buzzers, please. Please don't pop those buttons until an answer is exposed.

I once worked at a bakery. To get by, I needed the dough.

These are. You're scaring me a little bit.

And dog lovers again? My dog swallowed my entire bag of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet. I asked my wife when her birthday was.

She said March 1. So I walked around the room and asked again.

That's really bad. That's really.

And here's the problem I have with fruit. It's very inconsistent. Some apples taste great, some taste bad. Some grapes are delicious, and sometimes they're gross. But you know what?

The same's every time? Oreos.

I think that's true.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting in a fruit salad. And philosophy is wondering if that makes ketchup a smoothie. Wow.

You'Re on a roll here.

The sailor said. While I was on shore leave, I went into a shoe shop and asked to see a pair of loafers.

Salesperson brought the general manager and the chief accountant.

Wow.

And if you have a partner who snores, get this. Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep so loudly that it stops other people from sleeping.

It's like lying there screaming, I'm having a lovely sleep.

Boy.

Can I? Yes.

And, Mark, you're a Disney fan.

Yes.

Mickey Mouse's wife drives a minivan. And if A is for apple and B is for banana, what is C for?

Cherry?

Plastic explosives.

Oh, God. I think the FBI's outside the door right now.

Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the Alphabet was. It was a complete guess, but I was right. And I'm writing a book about beer. I'm on my fourth draft.

Oh, of course you are. Chilled mug. Though.

For me, a teacher put four worms in four separate containers. One in beer, one in wine, one in whiskey, and one in mineral water. The next day, the results were. The worm in the beer, dead. The worm in wine, dead.

The worm in whiskey, dead. The worm in mineral water, alive and squirming. Teacher asked the class, what lesson. Class can we learn from this?

Student raised their hand and said, if you drink beer, wine and whiskey, you won't have worms.

I think that's smart. That's a smart kid, don't you think?

I agree. And after fixing My computer. I overheard my grandson chatting with one of his friends, saying it was just an id10t error. They both laughed.

Not wanting to appear dumb, I walked away and wrote down the phrase ID 10T. He never was my favorite grandkid anyway. You get that one, folks. Id 10. It's like an i0 and then T. Idiot.

It's not good when you have to explain it.

No, it's a visual. It's kind of a visual.

Well, I get that though. Okay. But it's. It was a stretch.

Yeah. I threatened to work out this morning. Didn't work out. You know, the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve.

It was an apple with a very limited memory. Just one bite and everything crashed.

Now that is creative. That is.

And this is also very creative. A young artist exhibits his work for the first time. And a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, would you like to hear my opinion of your work? Yes. The artist replies, it's worthless. The critic says, I know, the artist replies, but let's hear it anyway. Good comeback.

Absolutely.

Good comeback. Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Yes. Yes. That's your New Year's resolution right there.

I'm gonna save that one.

Oh, good.

That's a good one. When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

Sorry.

That's true, though. I know.

And you know the family of family tree of Vincent van Gogh?

Huh? No.

His dizzy ants was called Vertigo. The brother who ate prunes was called Gotta go. Oh, it gets just like 10 more. I gotta take my glasses off.

I can't see it because I'm squinting so hard. The brother who worked at a convenience store. Stop and go. The grandfather from Yugoslavia, Yugo.

Oh, no.

His magician uncle. Where did he go? His Mexican cousin, amigo.

Of course. Why didn't I think of that?

Of course. Oh, gosh.

Is there more?

Oh, my gosh. I got seven more.

Oh, no, no. Okay.

The nephew who drove his stagecoach. Wells Fargo. The constipated uncle. Can't go. I'm crying. Oh, my. Oh, the ballroom dancing aunt Tango.

Of course it was.

The. An aunt who taught positive thinking. Way to go. The little bouncy nephew, Pogo. A sister who loved disco. Go.

Oh, yes.

Of course. It was the brother with low back pain lumbago. His niece who travels the country in an rv. Way to back up. Oh, I'm laughing and crying. There you go.

Oh, my.

Gosh that is.

Wow. Oh. Yeah. No kidding.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

So if you're watching, that's all the Van Gogh.

That's all the Van Gogh's family tree. Yeah. Okay. So I go to KFC to get the kids something to eat. They wanted the kids meal with a leg. So I said, kids meal with the leg.

And the lady says, which side? Yeah. I was like, what? I guess the right side. I don't know what the difference is. And the ladies laugh.

She goes, no, hon, which side do you want to go with the leg? Mashed potatoes or wedges?

Wow.

Did you know your fingers have fingertips but your toes don't have toe tips? And yet.

Oh, sorry.

No, I'm sorry. And yet you can tiptoe, but not tip finger.

Ah, tiptoe.

And mark. When you find out that the human body has 90,000 miles of nerves, getting on your wife's last one in reality is quite an accomplishment.

Are you listening to the. How many nerves do they have?

90,000.

90,000 miles of nerves.

And some guy suggested to his wife that they go to the pub separately to relive their first date. She walked over to the bar and asked, can I buy you a drink, handsome? He replied, get lost. I'm not falling for that again.

Wow, this is. Yeah, these are great.

For a woman got a pet parrot. But she was horrified to discover that all it did say was mean things and insult her. Nothing she did could stop it.

She was especially worried because her whole family was coming over for Christmas dinner. But when the dinner finally came, the parrot didn't say a word the entire time.

After the meal, the parrot turned to its owner and said, please forgive my behavior from before. I was entirely out of line. Wow. The woman said. Glad to hear it. If I may ask, said the parrot, what on earth did that turkey say to you?

Prepared for dinner?

Yes. I can't decide which one of these I want to do last. Oh, let's see. Let's do this one first. All right.

Past gas at a dinner party at my boss's house, he was annoyed. He said, how dare you pass gas before my wife. I told him I didn't know it was her turn.

Oh, these are life jokes.

And then lastly, folks.

Oh, no.

Due to the really cold weather, I asked my 84 year old neighbor if she needed anything from the store. She did. So I gave her my list. No reason we both should go out in this weather.

That is great. I love it. That's true. Why not?

Hey, Jing, it's Dominic the donkey. The Italian Christmas donkey.

Arnold's on the back, backup vocal on this.

Santa's got a little friend. His name is Dominic, the cutest little donkey. You never see him kick. When Santa visits his pines with Dominic he'll be.

Because the reindee cannot climb the hills of Italy.

Hey, Jing. It's Dominic the donkey.

Jing the Italian Christmas donkey. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

Okay, that's it. We're gonna stop right there.

Oh, I'm telling you. What. Yeah. Yeah. Now put them away, will you? Maybe. Good kindling.

They were pretty good.

They were pretty good.

I had probably another the wife jokes, though.

They're.

Yeah, yeah. My wife and I get along really well. I would never say anything about her like that. I love her very much. I know. And I know you love your wife.

I do too. But I'd love to use some of those jokes. I'm gonna use the 90 miles of. I am. I'm using the 90 miles of nerves.

I thought you were gonna put the cape on her.

That's a good one, too.

You look super angry now.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, anything, man. It's been a heck of a year.

We are already scheduling shows and have some wonderful guests lined up for you and encourage you to tune in on the terrestrial air if you're in St. Louis, or catch us on the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Or go to st.lintune.com and you can catch us anytime that you want. Folks, that's all for this hour. Thanks for listening.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you can listen to additional shows@stlntune.com consider leaving a review on our website, Apple Podcasts, Podchaser, or your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue to grow.

I want to thank Bob Berthisel for our theme music, our sponsor, Better Rate Mortgage, and co host of the year, Mark Langston. And we thank you folks for being part of our community of curious minds. St. Louis. Louis in Tune.

It's a production of Motif Media Group and the US Radio Network. Remember to keep seeking, keep learning, walk worthy and let your light shine for St. Louis in tune. I'm Arnold Stricker.

And never brought to mind.

Should old.

Acquaintance before God and all things I.

For all.

Will take a cup of kindness yet full.

Blown ra.