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Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
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This was the type of advice I was given at the beginning of my career.
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And advice doled out by people who were making the salary that allowed them
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to dress for whatever job they wanted.
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Not so easy for someone fresh out of college burdened with student
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loans, rent, car payments, and boatloads of other living expenses.
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Welcome to episode one 40 of this shit works.
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A podcast dedicated to all things, networking, relationship
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building and business development.
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I'm your host, Julie Brown.
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Speaker author and networking coach.
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And today.
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I am discussing why fake it until you make it.
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Is a shit strategy.
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Being told to dress for the job you want, not the job you have
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or to act like you've been here before or fake it till you make it.
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While intended to make us feel more confident in capable.
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It actually encourages us to present a false version of who we are when
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it comes to business and our careers.
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You know, from the very beginning, we were encouraged to
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look like something we aren't.
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Fake it till you make it.
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When in the long run, faking anything only provides temporary value and
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is quite literally exhausting.
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Just as a side note here, if you have ever listened to the podcast, Dr.
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Death, it's ripe with examples of people who faked it until they made it.
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And the consequences were deadly.
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Just saying.
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The consequences as it relates to implementing this strategy
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and networking and relationship building are well less dire than in
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medicine, but still a shit strategy.
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In my opinion.
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I don't want to meet the fake version of anyone.
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The version that you think is most palatable, the vanilla
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version of who you really are.
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I want the real deal version warts and all the warts, the blemishes,
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the messy shit is what connects us.
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Not the fake shit.
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Not having all the answers and knowing that you don't have it.
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And asking for advice is how we learn and grow and connect.
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Not faking our way through interactions, trying to be somebody we aren't or.
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Pose that we know things we don't.
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In thinking about this topic, I came upon an article in time
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magazine written by Laura and I hope I'm pronouncing her last name.
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Correct?
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Hawaiian.
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Uh, professor of business administration at Harvard business school and author of
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edge turning adversity into advantage.
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And the article, she talks about her struggles with the typical
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networking advice she got when she first started here career.
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And then what ultimately worked for her.
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I'm going to read an excerpt from that article now.
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I was clearly not as proficient and networking.
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Sure.
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I'd received advice along the lines of you need to do that.
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Invite people to lunch, invite them up for drinks, not just normal coffee meetings.
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But in the back of my mind, I remember thinking me as a young Asian female,
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I should be inviting my senior male colleagues out for drinks.
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I knew intuitively that I was not going to be able to pull that one off.
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So I didn't even try.
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But a few weeks later, I discovered that I too had the ability to make connections
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with senior leaders in my organization.
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Honest and authentic connections.
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I was scheduled to give a presentation at an industry conference and was
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taking an early flight to get there.
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When I got off the plane, I saw the senior VP of my division
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and went over to say, hello.
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He was attending the same conference and offered.
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Do you want to catch a ride with me?
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Over the course of the drive.
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He got to know me on neutral turf, where I felt confident and comfortable.
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There was no time pressure, no meeting for him to rush off to.
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We were stuck in a car for 45 minutes.
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And our conversation progressed naturally, like conversations are meant
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to when you're merely trying to get to know someone with no alternate agenda.
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I asked him for advice on things that came up organically and he saw that
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I was a smart, insightful person.
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Laura knew that faking it, putting herself in networking situations that
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were totally uncomfortable for her.
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We are.
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She couldn't be her authentic self, just wasn't going to work.
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You know me, I'm comfortable in almost every networking situation, but I
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understand that a number of people aren't, which is why I work with people
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that come up with networking strategies that work for them, where they feel
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comfortable and therefore we'll be able to incorporate them into their
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work and their life for the long run.
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Ultimately whether or not fake it to make it as good advice.
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Depends on the contexts of your individual circumstances.
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I guess I'm not saying it can't be.
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A useful tool in certain situations.
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But.
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It's important to use it wisely and with awareness of its potential
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risks and more so its limitations.
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Ah, Now.
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Onto the drink of the week, which goes so perfectly with the theme of this episode.
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And it's probably something that all of us have used in college.
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I certainly know I did.
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It's called the fake ID.
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Please note that J BBD Inc does not endorse the use of fake IDs for
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entrances into drinking establishments.
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If you are under age.
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Okay.
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Not to put the legal ease.
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On to what you're going to need.
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Two ounces of dark or black strap rum.
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Two thirds ounce of Chine are.
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One six ounce of cinnamon, simple syrup.
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What you're going to do is stir.
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All ingredients with ice in a shaker and strain into a chilled coupe,
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glass and garnished with either.
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An orange or lemon zest.
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All right friends, that's it for this week.
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If you like what you heard today, please leave a review and subscribe
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to the podcast also, please remember, please, please, please share the podcast
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to help it reach a larger audience.
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If you want more.
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Julie Brown.
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You can find my book.
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They shit works on Amazon or Barnes and noble, or you can find me.
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On LinkedIn, Julie Brown BD.
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Just let me know where you found me when you reach out.
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I am Julie Brown, underscore BD on the Instagram.
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Um, or you can just pop on over to my website to learn more about my
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speaking and my workshops and all that free and jazz at Julie Brown BD.
