Get ready for an insightful conversation with our special guest, Bob Wheeler. He will present an enlightening framework to enhance our decision-making process: the Four W's: What? Why? Why? What?

Dive deep with us as Bob teaches us to explore the depths of our desires, understand the core of our motivations, and confront the barriers that hold us back from achieving them. Whether you're contemplating life-changing decisions or everyday choices, this episode promises to equip you with a non-threatening way to evaluate what truly drives you.

Join me, Tiffany Grant, as we unravel the maze of wants and wishes and discover the power of intentionality in shaping our financial independence and personal fulfillment. Prepare to challenge your intrinsic motivations and align your aspirations with your values, all here on Money Talk with Tiff.

About Our Guest

Bob Wheeler, a CPA and somatic therapist, merges financial expertise with emotional insight in his approach to personal finance. Author of "The Money Nerve: Navigating the Emotions of Money," Bob explores the psychological aspects of money management, aiming to guide individuals toward financial freedom. He hosts the "Money You Should Ask" podcast, sharing personal finance tips and stories from various guests. Bob also leads seminars internationally, focusing on Radical Abundance and Money at its CORE, drawing from his certification in ‘CORE Energetics’ and Radical Aliveness.

In addition to his professional pursuits, Bob has a passion for standup comedy, blending humor with financial advice. He serves as the CFO for The World Famous Comedy Store in West Hollywood and La Jolla, California. A graduate of Rhodes College, Bob's adventurous spirit has taken him to high altitudes around the world, including Mt. Kilimanjaro and the Everest Base Camp.

Connect with Bob

Website: https://themoneynerve.com/

Email: info@themoneynerve.com

Facebook: The Money Nerve

Instagram: @moneyyoushouldask

Instagram: @bobwheelerr

Connect with Tiffany

Website: https://www.moneytalkwitht.com

Facebook: Money Talk With Tiff

Twitter: @moneytalkwitht

Instagram: @moneytalkwitht

LinkedIn: Tiffany Grant

YouTube: Money Talk With Tiff

Pinterest: @moneytalkwitht

TikTok: @moneytalkwitht

Timestamps

[00:00] Understanding motivations is key to achieving goals.

[05:32] Seeking benefit and joy in self-care.

[06:18] Internal payoff is crucial for intrinsic motivation.

[09:34] Accountant weighs cost and benefit of actions.

[13:42] Excited about newfound clarity and direction.

Key Themes

• Asking the Four W's framework.
• Importance of intrinsic motivation.
• Exploring personal wants and desires.
• Analyzing reasons behind personal goals.
• Identifying obstacles to achieving objectives.
• Willingness to act for goals.
• Aligning actions with personal values.

Support this Podcast

Copyright 2024 Tiffany Grant

You know what it is. That's right. It's time to talk money with your money,

nerd and financial coach. Now tighten those purse strings

and open those ears. It's the money talk with Tiff

podcast.

Hey, everyone. I am so excited because I have Bob Whaler on the line,

and he's here to talk to us about the four w's. You should ask yourself,

what? Why? Why what? And I just want to say that because it's so fun

to say, but. Hey, Bob, how are you, Tiffany? I'm doing great.

Thanks for having me. Yes, thank you so much for coming on. So let's just

hop right in for the audience. Why the four w's?

What? Why? Why what? Why is this important? Yeah,

what? Why? Why what? It's so important because I think whether it's money, whether

it's relationships, whether it's diet, like anything, I think

it's a really great blueprint, because I think we need to know

more than what do I want? And so that

first question is, what do you want? Why do you want

it? Why don't you have it? What are you

willing to do to get it? And for me,

it's great that I want to have a fancy car. Why do

I want it? I want to feel worthy. I want to impress people.

I just love fancy cars. And why don't I have it?

Oh. Cause I don't want to do the work. Oh. Oh. It's too, like,

what's my story? And then what am I

willing to do? For some people, it's nothing. I'm just going to be

take what I get. Or, you know. And for

me, when I ask that question of what am I willing to do, I, of

course, want it for me to be in integrity. I don't want to do things

illegal, and I don't want to take from other people and create

harm. But regardless of what the answers are,

I think it's really important to be curious and not judgmental.

If I want it to impress people or because I don't feel worthy. There's not

a judgment there. I don't need to take myself out. Oh, wow. That's interesting.

I don't feel worthy, and I need this thing to fill the gap.

And there's so many people, I think, that I want that, and I want to

be rich without really knowing what's rich.

How much money do you want? What will satisfy the

itch? What will satisfy that hole

that needs to like whatever it is? And for some people, it might just be.

I just. It makes me feel comfortable. And so for

me, the what, why? Why? What really gets to the

core of whatever it is we're seeking,

whether it's financial abundance, whether it's a slimmer

or bigger body, whether it's a, you know, a

lifestyle, whether it's a relationship. What, why?

Why? What is it? I'm yearning. What am

I. What am I calling for? Yes, yes. Doing. And

I love that framework. And I feel like that

first question will really hang people up. So let's go back. Let's

go back. So what do I want? Let's

zoom in on that a little bit, because I know some people are like,

I don't even know what I want. Like, what I think I want may not

be what I want. So how do they get into what do they

truly want for themselves versus what their parents are saying, what their

family's saying, friends, social media, all of that good

stuff. Such a great question. So what I like people to do

is brainstorm, right? Just top of mind, write down 20 things you want. I

want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. And just write it

down. Don't judge it. Don't judge it. Long term, short term, crazy.

Write it all down. And then

take a breath, take a moment, and then go back and start to look at

the list. Oh, that's for mom. Oh,

that's. My friends will shut up. Okay, now

what do I want? And then. And really go through that list. What do I

want? And for me, this is actually not just done in the moment. Like,

for me, this is a couple of days of process. Like, I spit it

out, I look at everything, I think about it, then I sleep

on it, and then I go back because I realized, ah, that

was for my grandparents. Oh, that. Oh, no, that one.

Yeah. That's something that really rings true for me. Right? I gotta. I gotta sift

through it a couple of times because I've got so many layers of social

conditioning, guilt from mom and dad,

church, whatever it might be. And we want

to really, like, look at it with curiosity and not

judgment. So maybe, oh, that's selfish. Oh, you want to do that? That's great.

No, no, take away that judgment. Yeah. I really want to

travel to other countries. I really want to see how the rest

of the world lives their life, you know, whatever it might be. And

so to really get curious about stuff and for

a lot of people that want to judge, just say, wow, isn't that interesting? Isn't

that. I always go back to this. That's so interesting.

And really just hone in on the things that actually feel true for you.

Yes. And, you know, I can see this being so simple as I want a

nap. Like that is exactly what I want right now. Yeah,

yeah. And no, I'm not lazy for wanting a nap. And

no, I'm not a bad parent or a bad spouse. I just want a

nap. And so I can definitely see this getting, not

just for your financials, but for everything like you said. Now

let's get into the first why. How would people like, let's say, for instance,

we narrowed down our list of wants. We have our perfect list of wants. How

do we get into this next step?

So it's really start to reflecting what are going to be the benefits

of this thing. What's the payoff? Right?

It's, oh, well, people are going to love

me or I'm going to. This is self care.

This brings me joy. Oh, I saw other people

having this and they looked happy and I want their

happiness. So maybe I'll duplicate, replicate this.

It's just starting to find out all the little, what are the little, oh, this

is how it's going to pay off. What's my benefit? What's my benefit? Oh,

people think I'm cool. I'll get noticed. People

won't notice me. I'll have like all, just

the, what do I think I'm gonna, what's the

payoff? And what's the payoff? Internally? Right.

That's what I'm hearing. So what's the payoff for you,

not for other people? Because, you know, a

while ago, a meme or something was going around where it was

like, you know, you buy a car to have other people look at

it. But, like, how do you feel about the car? What is

the car for you versus externally? People

looking out, back up.

People outside looking in at your car. Oh, it's a nice car.

But how does that car feel for you? So I love that

you hit on that. And that's so important because I'm a firm

believer in intrinsic motivation, having

something internal that is pushing you

towards what it is that you're trying to accomplish. So now

that we have the what, the why, what about the second?

Y, the third? W. Yeah, I

think it's important to look at. I want this. I desire

this. Why don't I have it right? And it

may be right, the work we haven't done yet, I don't deserve

it. There are more deserving people.

Those rules don't apply to me. The why,

maybe I didn't want to take a second job. I don't want to work

for it. I just want things given to me. And again, it's

not a judgment. We just need to get to know ourselves.

Why don't I have it? Because I'm afraid that if

I actually get it, it won't actually fulfill me in the way that I was

hoping it would. And then I'll have to feel my disappointment.

I know they're simple questions, but it goes deep. This

stuff is so deep. Why don't I have it?

Because my parents will judge me. My parents won't love me anymore.

My friends will leave me. I won't be part of my

tribe because I'll be different then.

And so, looking at that, why don't I have it?

I'm afraid. I'm afraid if I get what I want, it'll

ruin my narrative that I can't have what I want. There's

so many, so many things at play here of why I

don't. Why don't I have it? That is deep. That

last one you just said, I'm afraid if I get what I

want, then I can't keep the narrative that I can't get

what I want. That is super powerful,

and I've seen that play out in many different instances. So

that is a gem right there. Please

catch that one, because that has me over here in deep thought

for me. What is my second? Why the third? W

why don't I do the things that I say that I'm going to do? What

is that block? What is that block? And getting

deep into that. I love that. So, we talked

about what, why? Why now there's another what and

how do we step into this? What. So, after we've

evaluated what we want, why

we want that thing, and why don't we have it? How do we

step into this fourth. W.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm an accountant, so cost benefit, right? So the first

why is, what are my benefits? This fourth one is what's it going to

cost me? What am I willing to do? What am I willing to

do to get it? Am I willing to work harder? Am I

willing to set boundaries? Am I willing to draw a line?

Am I willing to say no to something else?

And for me, again, it's, I want to stay in

integrity, but there might be a, you know, for some people, I

might be. Well, I'm willing to put myself above other people at their

expense. Right? Me, I'm not. But what are

the. What are my lines? What are my lines

in how far will I go to make this happen? What am I willing. And

for some people, and this is surprising sometimes, and

I've had people, well, I'm not willing to do anything. Okay, well,

that's good to know because then maybe I can stop wanting it so bad

when I know at the end of the day, yeah, I'm not willing to do

anything to get it. That's great information. Because now

I can stop the spinning in the hamster wheel because I'm not going to do

anything for it. I just want it, but I'm not going

to move towards it. And so that what am I willing to

do is so important because am I willing to give up my

values? Am I willing to harm other

people? Am I willing to stay with

myself? Like, these are important questions. And when

we can start to answer these things, I think our life can take off in

such powerful ways because when we get intentional, when

we get conscious in our choices, we can stop

with the stories that are just costing us our lives and our

souls and our passions because we're,

like, being in our truth. And when we're in our truth and we can

name these things, the universe wants to give us

what we're willing to name and claim. Oh, I love that. I love that. And,

you know, I was thinking when you were talking and I wrote this down,

actually, you know, we start off with values and we

end with values because when we're looking at what we

want, you know, that's where our values lie. And

when we're going to the last, what of what are we

wanting to do or able to do to get to that first? What that

also looks at values. And one example that I

give my students when we have the values discussion, I'm

like, I would love a million dollars, or I would love, you know, a

significant amount of money. Am I going to go rob,

steal, kill for? Absolutely not. But that was because my

values are now stepping in and saying, you know, you

might want this, but is this the route that you're going to take? And, no,

I don't have to do all of that to get to my million dollars. If

that's what I really want, I can do it in a good way. You know,

I don't have to run over people if that's not where my values

lay. So I love that we start with values and we end with

values. Yeah. And I think that's. I just think

that's so important. Right. Because

if we're looking at our values and whether it's the million

dollars, whether it's I want to be an entrepreneur. Right. And I

just want to be able to say I own my own business, and then I

actually look at the work that I have to do, I

might decide, yeah, I really actually don't want to

do all that stuff because I want to spend time with my family or I

want to do these other things. And actually, the cost

benefit, the cost is outweighing. And

so I'm okay with it because once I've

actually gone through this process of what? Why? Why? What? Then I could sort of

be at peace. Like, yeah, I'm good with not having it.

I've actually evaluated. I, yeah,

it's not something I want to pursue, but it was a moment of impulse that

sounded really fun. And I've been telling myself for a while, but when I actually

sit down and get realistic and actually look at it and

how that affects me internally, yeah, I think I'll take a hard pass

on that. And you know what? Y'all can't see me, but my

head is bobbing so hard, like it'll practically fall off.

But as Bob is talking, I'm just thinking about all the different things

that I can apply this to right now. Like, as soon as we get off

the call, I'm like, I need to go through some major life

decisions that I've been struggling back and forth. Like, do I want

to do this? Do I not want to do this? So on and so forth.

But now having this framework, I feel will put things in perspective

and I don't have to keep bouncing back. Like, I can say, you know what?

I feel good with this decision, and this is what I'm going to do because

I've evaluated everything and this is the right direction to go.

So I appreciate this. Like, this was really helpful for me as

well. No, absolutely. Well, I use it.

I use it for myself because I get into situations,

and it's a. To me, it's a non threatening way

to get really curious about what's driving

my desire or my want,

and then to get really clear about, is it something I really want? Is this

something that other people want me to want?

That's it right there. And it's a wrap. No, just

kidding. But you know what, Bob? This

was amazing, and I'm so glad that you shared the four w's with us.

What? Why? Why what? And how we can implement that in our lives

to make better decisions. So with that being said, if people were

interested in finding out more about you, learning more about

this process, hiring you, whatever it is, how could they.

Find you the best way is our website,

the money nerve.com. That's nerve, not nerd. I'm a

nerd, but it's themoney nerve.com. And they can reach

out to through infohemoney, you nerve.com,

and we will reach back out. So check it out.

We love these conversations around money and empowerment.

And you can also find us on social media.

Instagram is Bobwheeler with two r's

and money. You should ask. All right, perfect. So I

will make sure I have all of those links in the show notes. So if

you didn't get everything, don't worry. Just check out the show notes. I'll have it

linked up there. So thank you so much, Bob, for coming on the show and

sharing these gems with us. I definitely picked up some. Hopefully the audience

did as well. And I appreciate you coming on. Well, thank you so much. I

always appreciate the opportunity. Bye. Thank you

for listening, joining and being a part of the Money Talk with TIFF podcast this

week. You can check Tiff out every Thursday for a new Money talk

podcast. But if you just can't wait until next week, you can listen to

previous podcast

episodes@moneytalkwitht.com or

follow TIFF on all social media platforms at Moneytalk

with t. Until next time, spend wise by

spending less than you make a word to the money wise is always

sufficient.