Transcripts
Night two after birth is about to wreck you, and not many people warn you that it's coming.
Trish:I am Trish.
Trish:I've been a labor and delivery nurse for 16 years, and I have had six babies myself.
Trish:So I'm gonna tell you something that's going to save your sanity on night too, because what I'm about to.
Trish:Plane isn't in your hospital pamphlet or your birth classes, and most doctors won't mention it.
Trish:And it's the reason so many new mamas and dads are crying in their baby's nursery, especially if they went home before night too and they're thinking that they're failing when actually this is absolutely normal and baby is doing exactly.
Trish:What they were designed to do.
Trish:So by the end of this episode, this video, you're gonna understand why night two feels impossible and what your baby is actually trying to tell you, and the one thing that stops the crying faster than anything else.
Trish:So let's talk about second night syndrome.
Trish:Second night syndrome and your baby isn't broken, but maybe you just weren't prepared for this.
Trish:So I'm hoping this will get you prepared.
Trish:You just survived birth.
Trish:You survived the first night, and your baby was sleepy and calm and maybe even wide-eyed and peaceful.
Trish:Then night two.
Trish:Hits like a freight train and a lot of you guys will go home before night two happens.
Trish:Hopefully you're not.
Trish:Hopefully you're in the hospital, but suddenly your sweet little newborn turns into a tiny screaming alarm clock that will not be put down.
Trish:They're rooting like they're starving, they're crying.
Trish:The second they leave your chest, they just want to nurse for three hours straight.
Trish:And you're sitting there at 2:00 AM thinking, what in the actual heck did I do wrong?
Trish:Is my milk not enough?
Trish:Am I already feeling my little baby as a new mama?
Trish:Here's the thing.
Trish:You didn't do anything wrong.
Trish:This is completely normal.
Trish:This is second night syndrome, and if you think about it, your baby just came from this perfect environment and it is a shock to their system, and this happens to almost every single baby.
Trish:But here's what makes me a little aggravated, is that most of the time you're not warned about it.
Trish:So I wanted to do an episode.
Trish:We also have a blog post all about second night syndrome that we will link to in the show notes.
Trish:They send you home with a diaper bag, a car seat, but nobody sits you down and says, Hey, tonight might be hard.
Trish:And you might think, oh my God, my baby hates me.
Trish:They were so good for the nurses, but that's not the truth.
Trish:They do not what's actually happening.
Trish:We're gonna talk about.
Trish:So let me be the person for you right now that's gonna prep you for night two, because here's what's really going on inside your baby's tiny brand new nervous system for nine months.
Trish:Your sweet little babe lived inside your body.
Trish:They never had to regulate their own temperature.
Trish:They never had to breathe on their own.
Trish:They didn't have to do any work.
Trish:They never had to wonder like, where is my mama?
Trish:And where is that noise that, that voice and the heartbeat, where's my next meal coming from?
Trish:Your heartbeat was like their white noise machine and your body was their little thermostat.
Trish:Your placenta was their 24 7 buffet.
Trish:And then boom, they come through the vagina, out to what I call the lights of God, and they're into this cold environment and they're born.
Trish:The world is cold, bright, loud, terrifying, and the only thing that feels familiar.
Trish:I guessed it is you.
Trish:So when they're crying and they're rooting and they're refusing to sleep unless they're glued to your chest.
Trish:That is absolutely normal.
Trish:They're not being difficult.
Trish:They're just like, what in the heck actually happened to me and I need my mama?
Trish:They're not starving.
Trish:They're just saying, where's the place I came from?
Trish:Like, I need to go back.
Trish:Like how could I get back there?
Trish:And the closest thing.
Trish:Is you, and the part that's gonna blow your mind is this isn't just emotional, it's actually biological because what your baby is doing on night two is actually triggering something massive also inside your body.
Trish:And I'm gonna tell you exactly what that is in just a second.
Trish:But first, let me tell you what most moms do wrong on night two.
Trish:Actually what most parents do wrong a night to, because this mistake makes everything so much harder for you.
Trish:Most new moms panic on night two.
Trish:They didn't know it was coming.
Trish:And when you panic, the baby senses that because mama is thinking my milk isn't in yet, so my baby's starving, which is not true because your chorum is milk.
Trish:They're thinking I should give them formula so they'll be happy and they'll sleep.
Trish:Or maybe I'm not cut out for this, like I'm sucking at this job.
Trish:Maybe I'm not cut out for breastfeeding, but I want you to listen to me now.
Trish:Let me just also say this.
Trish:If you feel like you need to supplement, that is your choice.
Trish:I support you guys.
Trish:I lay out what I know so that you guys can choose.
Trish:But what I want you to know as a labor nurse who's seen this many times, and a mom who's had six babies, your baby stomach on day two is the size of a cherry.
Trish:So those little drops of chorum, which is milk, and you are making it, that's exactly what they need.
Trish:They don't need more.
Trish:The constant nursing isn't because they're hungry.
Trish:And it's not because you're failing and it's not because your milk's not in, it's because your baby is literally programming your body to make the milk they need.
Trish:It's so cool.
Trish:I I like I, it blows my mind how crazy our bodies are.
Trish:Every time they latch, they're sending a signal to your brain.
Trish:Hey.
Trish:I need more of this.
Trish:And within 24 to 48 hours after this second night a hill, your milk is gonna come in and you're gonna look back on night two and realize your baby knew exactly what they were doing.
Trish:So now that you know what's happening, let me give you the five things that will actually help you survive night two and the fifth one.
Trish:I feel like that's the game changer and that's the one I used with all six of my babies.
Trish:Mama, here's your survival guide for second Night syndrome.
Trish:Are you ready?
Trish:I hope you are number one.
Trish:Girl, take your shirt off, get your jammies off, and go skin to skin.
Trish:Strip your baby down to their diaper, take off your shirt, lay them on your chest, and it needs to be a bare chest, right?
Trish:Skin to skin, as much skin as possible.
Trish:And I know you don't wanna take the diaper off, I get you.
Trish:This isn't just for bonding.
Trish:It literally regulates their heart rate, regulates their breathing, regulates their blood sugar, and regulates.
Trish:Their body temperature and it's telling that little nervous system that's trying to figure things out, you are safe in your home.
Trish:The second tip that I have for you is feet on demand.
Trish:Even if it feels like they're nursing nonstop, just let 'em like turn on Bravo on night two and just be prepared to like have the boobies out and have the baby on them.
Trish:This is how your milk supply gets established, and I want you to prepare yourself that day.
Trish:Two is your milk supply establishment, right?
Trish:This is when we have to trust the process.
Trish:Your body is learning your baby.
Trish:The third.
Trish:The third is dim the lights.
Trish:If you're watching Bravo, you're watching, you know, whatever, put it in a AirPod and lower the noise.
Trish:Your baby just spent nine months in a muffled, dark, quiet, warm space.
Trish:Bright lights, loud voices are overstimulating them.
Trish:So create a warm like environment, soft lighting, white noise, your scent.
Trish:They like that, that that stinky booby smell.
Trish:Girl, they like it.
Trish:Don't worry.
Trish:Just.
Trish:Get as simple and quiet and just calm.
Trish:Number four, share the load.
Trish:If you're, if you have a partner, let them do the diaper changes.
Trish:Let them do the burping.
Trish:Let them hold the baby between the feeds, doing skin to skin as well.
Trish:You don't have to do this alone.
Trish:They also know your partner's voice.
Trish:Number five, lower your expectations.
Trish:This is not the night to follow a schedule.
Trish:Screw the schedule.
Trish:This is not the night to sleep train, which we shouldn't be doing with a newborn anyway.
Trish:This is the night to survive.
Trish:To bond and to remember, girl, this will pass.
Trish:Night two is hard, but it's also the beginning of your bond and your breastfeeding experience, and this sacred attachment, this sacred.
Trish:Holy night.
Trish:A hill is wiring your baby's brain for safety, and that's what we want as moms, right?
Trish:Every cuddle, every breath, every boob in their mouth, every tear you wipe is literally teaching your baby that you are there and their world is safe because you are in it.
Trish:Now, let me tell you what you don't need to panic about.
Trish:If your baby has wet diapers and is nursing often and settles when their skin to skin with you, you're doing everything right.
Trish:You only need to call your provider if these things happen.
Trish:Your baby has fewer than two wet diapers in 24 hours, or they're lethargic or not waking up to feed, or they have dry lips or a mouth or.
Trish:If your mama gut says Something's off, girl, I don't care if you bug the hell outta your provider, call them otherwise.
Trish:Second night syndrome is completely normal and it's temporary.
Trish:It is a one night deal, right?
Trish:So instead of asking, why won't my baby sleep, why won't my baby stop crying?
Trish:Why won't my baby stop nursing?
Trish:Try whispering to yourself.
Trish:This baby misses the place they came from, and I get it.
Trish:Speak softly.
Trish:Tell them how much you love them and how safe they are, because that's the truth.
Trish:So a little bit of a recap.
Trish:Second night syndrome usually hits 24 to 48 hours after birth.
Trish:your baby's normal adjustment to life outside the womb, frequent feeding.
Trish:Skin to skin and a calm presence.
Trish:That's your best tools.
Trish:I promise you are not failing.
Trish:This is normal.
Trish:I know you get sick of hearing that you're just synchronizing up with this little person, and this night can feel endless, but it's only one of many that you guys are gonna get through to together as a family.
Trish:And here's the thing I didn't tell you at the beginning of this video.
Trish:Everything I just taught you about second night syndrome.
Trish:It's useless if you don't know what to do on day three when your milk comes in and your baby suddenly refuses to latch, which we'll have another episode about that because that's when most moms like are freaking out and have such a hard time breastfeeding.
Trish:Y'all know I recommend you do a virtual consult or a consult with a lactation consultant so that you're prepared for all of these things, because when you know what's normal and what's not, you're gonna be able to navigate this period.
Trish:So look for another episode or video coming soon about that third day milk rush.
Trish:Because we're gonna talk about what to do when your milk comes in, how to handle engorgement, and the one latch position that saved my life.
Trish:Okay, with baby number four.
Trish:All right, mama.
Trish:Again, I'm Trish Ware, labor nurse mama, and I am telling you you've got this.
Trish:Even when it doesn't feel like it, as always hit subscribe.
Trish:Please leave a review.
Trish:It means so much to me, like it really does.
Trish:I look at them all, leave a comment, tell me what you wanna hear more of, and as always, I will see you again next Friday.
Trish:Bye for now.
