This episode was sparked by a listener who was unexpectedly made redundant after 13 years. If you've ever had the rug pulled out from under you—or fear that moment might come—this one’s for you.

I break down what really happens emotionally when you’re let go (spoiler: it’s not just fear), why shame is the quietest but most damaging response, and how to gently move through it. I also share two key steps to help you figure out whether you simply need a new job—or a new career strategy entirely.

You’ll find links below to my most-read article on navigating redundancy and all of my midlife career redesign tools.

If you're feeling the wobble, you don't have to figure it out alone. The Midlife Unstuck Community is here when you’re ready to begin your redesign.

👉 Join the Community

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Article: The Emotional Anatomy of a Redundancy
• Blog Archive: All Career Design Article

Hello and welcome to the Joy At Work podcast.

I'm Lucia Knight, and here's this week's question from a listener.

Hi, I’m in my late 40s, and last week I was made redundant

— first time that’s ever happened.

I’d been at the company for 13 years and, honestly, I didn’t see it coming.

Turned up for my usual one-to-one with my boss and, well… he wasn’t there.

It was HR instead.

I'm embarrassed to say that it took me a minute or two to get what was happening.

They asked me to leave straight away, walked me back to my

desk, and that was that.

I’ve been at home for a week now, trying to get my head around it.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.

In my former career, I've been the person on the other end of the

phone, thousands of time, no exaggeration.

Speaking to clever, experienced, deeply talented professionals who had just.

Have been unexpectedly exited from the companies they gave

years of their precious lives to.

When I say the word exit, I mean their role was made redundant.

They've been laid off from a company that was going through

downsizing, right sizing, reshaping.

And here's what I wish I had back then.

A way to emotionally help people prepare for what happens when

you get surprised by an exit.

Because here's the truth, great people exit companies every day.

And in this economic climate, I see no reason that trend's gonna slow.

It's become part of the way we do business.

So.

Let's reframe it.

Imagine this, you've been in a long-term relationship.

You've had plenty of ups and downs, like all couples, but things are going well.

Just last week you were planning your next holiday together.

Then today you walk in the door from work and boom, your partner says it's over.

Not only that, but you discovered during the conversation that they've

been planning this for months.

They've even told all your mutual friends, you just didn't notice.

That's what a surprise exit feels like.

A relationship ended and one side forgot to tell the other

until it was already over.

What happens next?

You're left a guzzle, an emotional cocktail you didn't order

. When talking about redundancy, layoffs, downsizing, or

reshaping, whatever you call it.

Over the years I've seen these emotional reactions fall into three categories.

Here are the three categories and the language I've heard people

use to display these emotions.

Number one, fear-based emotions.

A flash of fear hits fast, like an electric shock, and then it spreads.

These fear-based emotions always come first, but they can also be

peppered throughout a period of processing what's just happened.

Anger, they can't do this.

To me.

It's wrong.

I'm gonna fight it.

Anxiety.

How will we survive without my salary?

We've got school fees, birthdays, the mortgage.

Doubt.

Is this the end of my career?

Bloody hell am I now corporate toast.

Low mood.

I just want to get into bed and stay there while this blows over.

The second kind of emotions are pain based emotions.

These are slower burning feelings, but they cut just as deeply.

Broken trust.

I'll never give a company this much of me ever again.

Worry.

Will I ever find a role that pays as well or gives me,

insert things I really enjoyed.

Dented confidence.

Was I just deluded?

Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought.

Anger again, how could they do this to me after all those years, all

those late nights and weekends?

Then finally, the third type of emotional reaction I notice

are shame-based emotions.

Now, these ones we don't talk about enough, but they can be like hot

coals, seared into self-esteem and self-confidence, and it can

take years for the scars to heal.

Early shame.

What will people think?

What do I even tell them?

Self bashing.

I should have seen it coming.

I should have known.

I should have been better prepared.

Imposter syndrome.

Oh, it was only a matter of time.

I always knew this would happen.

Just not now.

And resignation.

I guess I'll just have to start applying to jobs on LinkedIn.

Any jobs.

Now, not everyone is hit by the emotional rollercoaster that we're talking about.

I bet you know, a story of someone who breezed through a surprise

exit layoff or redundancy.

In my experience, the emotional dips and dives are less painful, if the

individual has been gifted any or all of the following, a generous payout,

plenty of paid gardening, leave a longstanding network ready to help

or, and this one doesn't happen too often, a heads up from someone on the

inside so that it reduces the surprise.

Those circumstances are rare.

For the rest, it's usually a situation when we are caught off guard and when

we are surprised with bad news, we feel vulnerable, stripped of our precious

feeling of control over our lives.

When this happens, our nervous system goes into overdrive.

That's why preparing emotionally, financially, and mentally before

anything happens is the best defense.

If you are listening to this and haven't experienced redundancy being laid off or

exited yet, don't wait for the surprise.

Lift your head up from your daily work and start thinking about designing

or learning how to design your next decade of work life, to make sure it

fits you, to make sure you have a Plan B in place if or when your current

plan takes a turn you didn't expect.

And if you have just experienced a surprise, redundancy, or layoff like

our listener, here's what I recommend.

Step one, pause.

Give yourself permission not to know what to do.

You've just been hit.

Let the shock pass.

Give yourself some time to have a break from the world to move your

body more than you normally do.

By moving your body, it helps you process, walk and think on repeat.

You might feel like talking about it, but most people need a little

time alone first, walking and thinking, processing, deciding what

language to use to communicate what's happened, beyond your loved ones,

in a way that makes sense to you.

Don't make any decisions about actions yet.

I know you want to have a plan of action yesterday, but instead,

give yourself a little time to walk and think, walk and process.

Step two, mourn.

Then move.

Move into designing the next chapter of your career story.

Yes, mourn.

It was a big chapter in your life.

It deserves its place, but don't build and settle long term

into your house of mourning.

This is the end of a chapter in your career, not the end of your career story.

So when you feel some of the dust settling, it's time to do some research

to decide and answer one question.

Do you simply need a new job?

Or do you need a new strategy for the remainder of your career?

I've included a link in the show notes to a short video to

help you answer that question.

Now, if you decide you simply need a new job that's similar, get out into the

world and get recommendations for good or great headhunters, brilliant recruiters

who are well respected at your level in your specialism or across your industry.

Invest some time redesigning your CV or resume and have a conversation

with people who know you well and your work well across your industry.

And if you decide you need a new career strategy, start a research project on

how to go about designing the rest of your career to be deeply satisfying,

meaningful, and enjoyable to you.

A good place to start is the Midlife Unstuck website.

For almost a decade now, I've been writing articles and creating resources

and programs to help professionals who want to actively build and

implement more joy into their work for the remainder of their work lives.

In the show notes, I'll include a link to an article called The Emotional

Anatomy of a Redundancy or Other Surprise Exits, and a link to all the articles

I've written on career design for professionals in their forties and fifties

who want to optimize for satisfaction, fulfillment, and you guessed it, joy.

Here's the big truth I want to leave you with today.

You can't control every eventuality in your career, but you can design

a future where you're valued in demand, and dynamic enough to

pivot regularly without breaking.

If you know someone who has experienced a surprise exit

recently, share this with them now.

And maybe this isn't the end.

Maybe it's the beginning of your best career chapter yet.