Shownotes
Taris Marie's life took a dramatic turn when she lost her sight, a moment that challenged her deeply and led her to question her purpose. At her lowest point, she found herself asking God for guidance and was inspired by an unexpected answer: to write a book. Despite never having considered this path before, Taris embraced it wholeheartedly, channeling her creative energy into becoming a published author. Her journey from a successful career in fashion to writing women's crime novels is a testament to her resilience and adaptability. Throughout this episode, Taris shares how her faith and newfound creative spirit helped her navigate life's unexpected shifts, ultimately leading her to a fulfilling new chapter.
Takeaways:
- Taris Marie's story highlights the power of resilience and adaptability in the face of unexpected life challenges.
- Her journey from a successful fashion career to becoming a published author shows the transformative power of creativity.
- The episode emphasizes the importance of finding purpose and meaning in life, even when faced with adversity.
- Taris' experience illustrates how faith and spirituality can provide strength and guidance during difficult times.
- It is crucial to embrace change and remain open to new opportunities that life may present.
- Listening to one's inner voice and following unexpected paths can lead to fulfilling and meaningful outcomes.
Guest Bio:
Tarris Marie is a novelist, screenplay writer, motivational speaker, and actress from Gary, IN. With a degree from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business and a background in journalism from Florida A&M University, Tarris has carved a diverse career path. She resides in Houston, Texas, where she is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., and is a devoted mother and wife.
Connect with Tarris Marie:
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Mentioned in this episode:
Thank you to Ear Worthy - Ear Worthy Independent Podcast Awards
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Transcripts
So I woke up.
Taris Marie:No lie, looked at my phone, and I was like.
Taris Marie:And I started scrolling, and I couldn't see right.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, it's happening.
Taris Marie:Like, the one thing that he said wouldn't happen, it's happening, you know, and I just started freaking out, and it was just very, very dramatic.
Taris Marie:Traumatic, dramatic.
Taris Marie:All the things.
Matt Gilhooly:Today's guest is Terrace Marie.
Matt Gilhooly:She is, in my opinion, a woman of resilience, creativity, and truly unyielding strengthen.
Matt Gilhooly:In this episode, Taris shares her journey from her dream career in fashion to facing the challenges brought by Stargard's disease, which is an inherited condition that affected her vision.
Matt Gilhooly:Despite these hurdles, Taris has embraced her journey with, I think, courage.
Matt Gilhooly:That's nothing short of inspiring.
Matt Gilhooly:Her story weaves in themes of adaptability, her faith, one major spiritual moment, and creative expression.
Matt Gilhooly:She transitions from this successful career and fashion to becoming a published author of women's crime novels.
Matt Gilhooly:Throughout the conversation, Tariss Faith and creative spirit are top of mind, and she shares how they guided her through her life shifts.
Matt Gilhooly:It is both of our hopes that this episode helps you feel less alone in your journey when challenges get in the way of your dreams or when they're actually guiding you in a new direction.
Matt Gilhooly:Without further ado, here is my conversation with Taris Marie.
Matt Gilhooly:I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is the life shift.
Matt Gilhooly:Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.
Matt Gilhooly:Hello, my friends.
Matt Gilhooly:Welcome to the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly:I am here with Taris.
Matt Gilhooly:Hello.
Taris Marie:Hi.
Matt Gilhooly:Thank you for joining today.
Matt Gilhooly:The Life Shift podcast is, like this wonderful journey that I just never expected for myself.
Matt Gilhooly:And you're the 150th person that I've been able to interview on this show, and I'm just so blessed.
Taris Marie:Congratulations.
Matt Gilhooly:Well, thank you.
Matt Gilhooly:It has been quite a journey.
Matt Gilhooly:And just for anyone listening, before we get into your story, the life shift podcast exists because when I was eight years old, my mom was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Matt Gilhooly:And at that moment in my life, when my dad sat me down and told me, everything in my life shifted from what it was going to be to what it became.
Matt Gilhooly:Because my parents were divorced, we lived in different states, I lived with my mom full time.
Matt Gilhooly:Everything changed.
Matt Gilhooly:And so growing up, I didn't really have the resources or I guess maybe the time period, people weren't talking about mental health or grief.
Matt Gilhooly:And I was a kid, and people thought kids bounced back and all those things that come along with losing someone, and I was like, do other people have this line in the sand kind of moment in which everything changes.
Matt Gilhooly:And, you know, as a grown up now, I realize that people have lots of those.
Matt Gilhooly:They have different ones and how they change them.
Matt Gilhooly:And I've just had this wonderful experience on the life shift podcast of talking to people like you about these moments and how, as an individual, these moments can change us.
Matt Gilhooly:Either that's in a good way or a bad way.
Matt Gilhooly:And so thank you again for just wanting to share your story in this way.
Taris Marie:Thank you for having me.
Matt Gilhooly:It is going to be a good conversation.
Matt Gilhooly:I think some of your story is something that maybe people can't relate to directly.
Matt Gilhooly:But I know for a fact that parts of how you felt and the things that came around that people will be able to completely relate to, because it turns out as humans, we have a lot of the same kind of feelings about different moments in our lives.
Matt Gilhooly:So I'm excited to hear your story and what you've done with your pivotal moment.
Matt Gilhooly: ttle bit about who you are in: Taris Marie:Okay, so my name is Taris Murray.
Taris Marie:I am a published author, and I write right now women's crime novels, and I'm a wife and a mother of two.
Matt Gilhooly:Maybe you can, and this is up to you where you take us, but maybe you can kind of paint the picture of who Taris Washington, you know, before this life shifting moment that really changed everything for you.
Matt Gilhooly:And we'll go from there.
Taris Marie:Okay.
Taris Marie:I'm a midwestern girl.
Taris Marie:Actually, originally, I'm from Gary, Indiana.
Taris Marie:I moved to Houston, Texas about eleven years ago.
Taris Marie:Prior to that, I lived in Dallas for a year, and I lived in Atlanta, Georgia.
Taris Marie:And career wise, I had my dream career, which was in fashion.
Taris Marie:I started off as an assistant buyer, and I worked in the fashion industry for 15 years.
Taris Marie:I did different things, like merchandising, buying.
Taris Marie:I was a merchandise planner.
Taris Marie:And so I had, as far as my career goes, I achieved them, and it was something that I was always interested in.
Taris Marie:And as a young girl, I used to draw little sketches and stuff like that.
Taris Marie:So it was, I would say, a dream job for me.
Taris Marie:And so I was doing that.
Taris Marie:And then also, as I said earlier, I'm married.
Taris Marie:So I had my husband, I had my two children, and so that was my life.
Matt Gilhooly:You were checking all the boxes.
Matt Gilhooly:Were you kind of like, feeling like you were doing the thing?
Taris Marie:That's it.
Taris Marie:I was making the money I wanted to make.
Taris Marie:I was, you know, had the career that I wanted, and I felt like I was accomplishing everything that I had in my mind of what my life was going to be like.
Taris Marie:And that's pretty much now.
Taris Marie:There were other things that happened prior to that, but right before my pivotal moment, that is what was going on in my life.
Taris Marie:So.
Matt Gilhooly:Well, growing up, you said you had dreamed of this since you were, like, six years old or something like that, drawing things, and then you were making the life happen that you had always dreamed of.
Matt Gilhooly:Were you always a go getter and someone, that achievement was a thing?
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:So I was raised by my grandparents, and my grandfather and my grandmother both were readers.
Taris Marie:They loved to read, and so.
Taris Marie:And they exposed me to the arts.
Taris Marie:So my grandfather loved musicals, and so I love musicals now.
Taris Marie:And so I kind of had this balanced life, if that makes sense, when it comes to education as well as the arts.
Taris Marie:And so I used to do a lot of things.
Taris Marie:Like I mentioned earlier, I used to draw little sketches, like fashion sketches.
Taris Marie:I also used to, like, create movies.
Taris Marie:And, I mean, I was just a child with a big imagination, but I always had, like I said, this balance between business and my artistic world.
Taris Marie:So.
Matt Gilhooly:So it wasn't always like, chase the next dream, the next achievement.
Matt Gilhooly:It was like you were living like the dream but also comfortable in the dream, and not because a lot of.
Matt Gilhooly:A lot of the people I talked to, even myself, myself, my example is probably more trauma induced of, like, having to achieve so that people, like, accepted or didn't abandon me in that moment.
Matt Gilhooly:But a lot of people I talked to, it was like they achieved something and they didn't take the time to sit in it and enjoy it.
Matt Gilhooly:It was more like, what can I do next?
Matt Gilhooly:What can I do next?
Matt Gilhooly:Were you someone that sat in the moment and celebrated yourself and gave yourself your flowers, or was it always onto the next level for you?
Taris Marie:I would say it was actually always on to the next level.
Taris Marie:You know, I want to make sure that, you know, when I say, like, my grandparents raised me, my mom left when I was six years old, and so when she left, then I was then with my grandparents, and they raised me.
Taris Marie:But I did.
Taris Marie:So I did not come from the perfect or I don't want to stereotypical upbringing, if that makes sense.
Taris Marie:And I did have, you know, certain issues and certain things that I did have to overcome as a young child.
Taris Marie:But I feel that my grandparents did a really good job of making sure that they provided a home for me that gave me the foundation that I needed in order to achieve some of the things, even though we did not have a lot of money, you know, I wanted to be a dancer also.
Taris Marie:So, like you were saying, dream chaser.
Taris Marie:And I remember my grandmother took me to the secondhand store, is what we called it.
Taris Marie:And that's where I got some tap shoes.
Taris Marie:And then my grandfather was showing me old movies like Stormy Weather and the Nicholas brothers and Gregory Hines.
Taris Marie:And he was like, they taught themselves how to tap dance.
Taris Marie:You could teach yourself.
Taris Marie:So I used to be down in the basement trying to teach myself how to dance, you know, so I tried to make the best of my life of what I had at the moment.
Taris Marie:That's something that has always been a part of me.
Taris Marie:I would say, even now, I'll get to my pivotal moment in a second.
Taris Marie:But anytime something would come at me, I would be able to take it and turn it around and find a positive in it and try to grow from it.
Taris Marie:Even as a child, I would say, and my faith kept me grounded in that.
Matt Gilhooly:I would say, is that something that came from your grandparents as well?
Taris Marie:Actually, my faith in going to church came from my aunts.
Taris Marie:So where I lived, I grew up where my cousins lived down the street.
Taris Marie:I grew up in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids.
Taris Marie:And, you know, I used to go outside, ride my bike, do all the things.
Taris Marie:And so my aunt would.
Taris Marie:Aunt Shirley would pick me up with my cousins and then would take me to church.
Taris Marie:And that's where I got my foundation from as far as spiritually.
Matt Gilhooly:And then your grandparents gave you, like, this safety.
Matt Gilhooly:It almost seems like they were.
Matt Gilhooly:They made, like, a safe space for you to explore and dream and do the things that you wanted.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, I'm making assumptions here, but is that true?
Taris Marie:That's very true.
Taris Marie:That's very true.
Matt Gilhooly:I feel like a lot of kids would not be able to find, like, the silver lining or the beauty in the madness and those kind of things if they didn't feel safe.
Matt Gilhooly:So it sounds like you had a space where, like, hey, you want to do this?
Matt Gilhooly:Try it.
Matt Gilhooly:You know, like, whereas a lot of people are like.
Matt Gilhooly:Or I felt very much like these were my only roads to go.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, you have to go to business school.
Matt Gilhooly:You have to do this.
Matt Gilhooly:You have to do this.
Matt Gilhooly:That's it.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, I didn't have.
Matt Gilhooly:And maybe I did, but I didn't feel the space in which I could explore those things in a safe way because would it lead to a good job?
Matt Gilhooly:Would it do, you know, like, those kind of things?
Taris Marie:And so now you just hit the hell.
Taris Marie:Not the hell, but you hit the nail on the head.
Taris Marie:Now, that was my childhood now, as I got older, that's when my grandparents say, okay, all of that was cute.
Taris Marie:Now it's time for you to hone in.
Taris Marie:What are you going to do?
Taris Marie:All that other stuff is a hobby, you know.
Taris Marie:And when I went to college, I guess that could be my first moment.
Taris Marie:I went to Florida a and M university, and I was on a journalism scholarship, and still writing didn't hit me.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Taris Marie:And so anyway, I went to a symposium, and they were showing the salaries of journalism majors versus a business major.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, I cannot graduate from college making that money.
Taris Marie:I need to make.
Taris Marie:I needed to go to get into the business school, you know.
Taris Marie:And I called my grandmother.
Taris Marie:I said, oh, my God.
Taris Marie:They just showed the average salary coming out of college for the school of journalism.
Taris Marie:And it's.
Taris Marie:It was 13 or $15,000, something like that.
Taris Marie:She's like, oh, hell, no.
Taris Marie:You gotta find something else, you know?
Taris Marie:And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie:You know, so then I had to pivot, right?
Taris Marie:And so that's when I looked up Indiana university.
Taris Marie:They had a 98% placement rate for minorities at the time through the Kelley School of business.
Taris Marie:And so I always made good grades, like I told you, I always had a balance between the arts and the business.
Taris Marie:And so I said, you know, for long term, for, you know, Sal, for my.
Taris Marie:To get the salary that I wanted, then I need to make sure that I, you know, built that foundation in college through the business school.
Taris Marie:So my grandmother, definitely.
Taris Marie:So I changed my whole.
Taris Marie:So.
Taris Marie:So I did not.
Taris Marie:I walked away from my scholarship, went to Indiana University, got accepted into the Kelley school of business, which I do not regret.
Taris Marie:Okay.
Taris Marie:But that is where I first did my first pivot.
Matt Gilhooly:It's interesting, too, because, you know, you said you had this balance between art and.
Matt Gilhooly:What'd you say?
Matt Gilhooly:Art and business.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Matt Gilhooly:But also, like, it's.
Matt Gilhooly:You had this balance between dreams and reality that you kind of, like, married to at the same time, in the sense of like, yeah, it's great to dream, but also you have to live and you have to be able to do the things that you want to do that involve the dreams.
Matt Gilhooly:And so it's like you have this nice balance of all these things.
Matt Gilhooly:And, like, I'm very jealous in a way.
Matt Gilhooly:That's very good of you.
Taris Marie:Please don't be.
Taris Marie:Because, listen, what I instill in my children now is when I went to my grandmother, and it's fine the way everything worked out, of course, but I told her what the average salary was, right.
Taris Marie:But it could have been.
Taris Marie:You've been doing this all your life, or don't think in terms of average, what.
Taris Marie:You know what I mean?
Taris Marie:Like, where's your passion?
Taris Marie:And so that is a conversation.
Taris Marie:I didn't have anyone talking to me in that way.
Taris Marie:It was more so about, okay, you know, you gotta make money, period.
Taris Marie:And so.
Taris Marie:And I knew I had to make money, you know, so it was more about me.
Taris Marie:But like you said, I still was able to find a career where I was making the money that I wanted.
Taris Marie:And I stepped away from the arts, not so much in college, because I still was in plays and did things like that.
Taris Marie:But my focus was on my career and making money.
Taris Marie:And that's where.
Taris Marie:What happened?
Taris Marie:When I graduated from college and I told you, I started off an assistant buyer program, and I continued that until I hit the bathroom floor.
Matt Gilhooly:Well, tell me that must be a moment.
Taris Marie:Okay.
Taris Marie:So before I hit the bathroom floor, when I had my.
Taris Marie:It was actually when I had my son, I found out I had a disease called star guard's disease.
Taris Marie:And what happened was my vision was starting to be off.
Taris Marie:And they tell you when you have a child that it can affect your vision.
Taris Marie:But after a year went by and things are getting really distorted, I was like, this doesn't feel right.
Taris Marie:And so, long story short, I went to a retina specialist, and I got tested, and I found out I had an inherited disease called Star guard's disease, which takes away your central vision.
Taris Marie:It keeps your peripheral intact, but you lose whatever it is that you're looking directly at, and it is progressive.
Taris Marie:And so at the time, when I was diagnosed, I still had most of my vision in both eyes.
Taris Marie:The doctor at that time was preparing me by.
Taris Marie:First of all.
Taris Marie:Cause I just broke down crying.
Taris Marie:Of course.
Taris Marie:The go getter at me, you know, was like, okay, so what's the.
Taris Marie:So when he told me what my diagnosis was, I'm like, okay, so what surgery do I need?
Taris Marie:Hmm?
Matt Gilhooly:How do we fix this?
Taris Marie:Yeah, what.
Taris Marie:And that's like, can I get some new eyeballs?
Taris Marie:You know, like, what?
Taris Marie:What do I need to do to get new eyeballs?
Taris Marie:Like, what is it?
Taris Marie:And so he's like, there's nothing you can do.
Taris Marie:Like, it's part of your DNA, and no matter what eyes you get, it's going to affect, you know.
Matt Gilhooly:Interesting.
Taris Marie:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:Is it fairly common or is it.
Taris Marie:This is something.
Taris Marie:Both parents have to have it, or at least have the gene.
Taris Marie:My mother does nothing have it at all.
Taris Marie:And I don't know my father, so I'm not for sure if he, you know, is walking around with it or not.
Taris Marie:But as a fact, he either is a carrier or he has it.
Taris Marie:And my mother is a carrier because she doesn't have star guards where you can, you know, see it.
Taris Marie:So.
Taris Marie:So, yeah, it was mind blowing, but at the time, when I was diagnosed, I still was able to see.
Taris Marie:Like, I still had my.
Taris Marie:Most of my vision, so it didn't really affect me.
Taris Marie:And so the doctor handed me a Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass and was like, all right, so this is going to be your future.
Taris Marie:You better learn braille.
Taris Marie:And I was like, what?
Taris Marie:Like, it was.
Taris Marie:It was very traumatic.
Matt Gilhooly:That's not very good bedside manner we got there, so.
Taris Marie:Oh, yeah.
Taris Marie:So, anyway, fast forward.
Taris Marie:Oh, and then I said, am I going to be able to wake up and not be able to read my text messages?
Taris Marie:I remember specifically asking that question, like, no, it doesn't work like that.
Taris Marie:It worked like that for me.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:Oh, really?
Matt Gilhooly:It was like an overnight.
Taris Marie:So I woke up.
Taris Marie:No lie, looked at my phone, and I was like.
Taris Marie:And I started scrolling and I couldn't see.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, it's happening.
Taris Marie:Like, the one thing that he said wouldn't happen, it's happening, you know, and I just started freaking out, and it was just very, very dramatic.
Taris Marie:Traumatic.
Taris Marie:Dramatic.
Taris Marie:All the things.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:I can't imagine.
Matt Gilhooly:Was it up to that moment, though?
Matt Gilhooly:Was it.
Matt Gilhooly:Did you notice that things were progressing or.
Taris Marie:Okay, so things were progressing, but as I said, I still had acuity in both eyes to where I still was able to drive.
Taris Marie:I was still able to do those things.
Taris Marie:And, like, I.
Taris Marie:So what happened was, which is also very rare, that one little central vision spot where I was able to see, it just, like, disappeared.
Taris Marie:And so then my central vision just went black, you know?
Taris Marie:And so I had a much better doctor at that time.
Taris Marie:And so he had told me that, you know, well, we knew this was going to come, and so he referred me to a low vision specialist.
Taris Marie:I had to call my job, and I was like, you're not going to believe this, but I woke up.
Taris Marie:I couldn't read my text message, you know, so it was just a whole situation.
Matt Gilhooly:Were they aware?
Matt Gilhooly:Was that something that, like, you had given anyone notice about that?
Taris Marie:Yeah, they knew, because once I was kind of, like, letting them know, you know, I had worked for this company for a while, and so I had told them when things were going on because we were all, you know, close what was happening.
Taris Marie:So I was like, you're not going to believe this, like, my whole, like, I can't read my text messages.
Taris Marie:And, you know, so they were like, well, do what you got to do, you know, whatever.
Taris Marie:So I took some time off.
Taris Marie:I got devices.
Taris Marie:I learned how to see through these devices.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, yeah, grooving.
Taris Marie:I'm back.
Taris Marie:You know, I went back to work.
Taris Marie:I had these big giant screens, and, you know, we made all these accommodations.
Taris Marie:What happened was, when I got to my job, I would say, and this is before remote working.
Taris Marie:Remote was part of our culture.
Taris Marie:Not most of the companies still weren't doing remote.
Taris Marie:I had.
Taris Marie:I couldn't drive at night, of course.
Taris Marie:You know, I had got these bioptics that allowed me to do driving, not highway driving.
Taris Marie:I couldn't do nighttime driving, and I had limitations on, you know, screen time and things like that.
Taris Marie:Just to make a long story short, when I got back to work, I wasn't.
Taris Marie:It wasn't very well received because of the accommodations.
Matt Gilhooly:Or did you, did you feel like you were, like the old version of you, like, working and doing the things that you were doing, or did you also notice that you weren't able to do some of the functions that you needed to?
Taris Marie:I will say that when you're working with numbers and you have all these different spreadsheets, right, when you're giving a presentation and you're saying, okay, here's the number.
Taris Marie:This is my forecast.
Taris Marie:And I would stay up late at night and prepare everything, and then they would say, okay, well, tell me what it was last year.
Taris Marie:Week two, day four and five.
Taris Marie:Well, for someone who has a vision impairment, it's going to take me.
Taris Marie:So I'm standing in front of all these people, and then my anxiety starts to get up, and I'm, like, trying to figure it out.
Taris Marie:Oh, you know, people start doing that.
Taris Marie:And so it created this unsafe culture for me, and I ended up.
Taris Marie:It was.
Taris Marie:It was very.
Taris Marie:So that was.
Taris Marie:Started my slow descent.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:Emotionally, because I came back ready to rock and roll.
Taris Marie:And then when I didn't get the response that I thought I was going to get, and I started feeling myself start to descend, so I went on disability.
Matt Gilhooly:What does that do to your psyche?
Taris Marie:No.
Taris Marie:Well, I was told that I couldn't do the job.
Taris Marie:And then I asked, well, what can I do?
Taris Marie:And they were like, well, you can't even work in the mail room.
Taris Marie:Cause you can't see the mail, you know?
Taris Marie:So it was really very traumatic.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, does that, like, break you?
Matt Gilhooly:Cause it sounds like you were pretty confident, and I was going into it.
Taris Marie:But I'm telling you, once it got to that moment, I was almost at rock bottom.
Taris Marie:Almost.
Matt Gilhooly:So it breaks you to a point of, like, you don't like soul searching, essentially, who am I?
Taris Marie:What value do I bring to my.
Taris Marie:So what does this look like?
Taris Marie:If I'm not good enough to work in the mail room, what am I going to, like?
Taris Marie:What can I do?
Taris Marie:And these are all the questions I was asking myself.
Taris Marie:And in the meantime, I'm still a wife.
Taris Marie:I'm a mom.
Taris Marie:I have these two small children.
Taris Marie:And so I'm like, well, let me try the, you know, the housewife and try to do that.
Taris Marie:And I tried that, and it wasn't quite me.
Taris Marie:And as I started to, like you said, it's just started to go downhill with my mind.
Taris Marie:I felt broken inside.
Taris Marie:Things that I used to could see, I can no longer see.
Taris Marie:I start looking.
Taris Marie:Instead of thinking about looking at things from a positive, I just started seeing so many things, you know, like what I couldn't do, you know?
Matt Gilhooly:And I think it's hard not to be that way.
Matt Gilhooly:I would imagine that a lot of people would feel that way.
Taris Marie:Yeah.
Taris Marie:And so I got.
Taris Marie:I went down to the floor, and I remember I was on the bathroom floor, and I was like, what's my purpose?
Taris Marie:Like, you know?
Taris Marie:And I just.
Taris Marie:I just didn't feel like I was even worthy to be here, to be honest.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, you know, this is it.
Taris Marie:Like, maybe that's just it.
Taris Marie:And that's when I heard God say, get up.
Taris Marie:Truly.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie:And so I got up, I looked in the mirror.
Taris Marie:I didn't recognize myself at all.
Taris Marie:I was like, you know, dirty hair, you know?
Taris Marie:Cause when you're depressed, you don't.
Matt Gilhooly:You don't take care of yourself.
Taris Marie:You don't.
Taris Marie:And I didn't recognize.
Taris Marie:I truly didn't.
Taris Marie:And so the one thing.
Taris Marie:The first thing I did when I was like, all right.
Taris Marie:I heard God tell me to get up, let me shower, you know, so I just went and kind of, like, cleansed, washed my hair.
Taris Marie:And then I heard God say, write a book.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie:And before that, let me tell you.
Taris Marie:Let me tell you what I said.
Taris Marie:I said, God, tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it.
Taris Marie:Not only will I not get on that floor, I will help as many people as I can to not get on that floor.
Taris Marie:And then he said, write a book.
Matt Gilhooly:Was this, like, your first experience in which you actually heard of, like, a yemenite voice of God of telling you, like, or helping you along?
Matt Gilhooly:Or was this something that, like, you've always kind of communed in that way and always heard stuff?
Taris Marie:So, honestly, I had been going to church since I was a little girl, and I thought that hearing the voice of God was only for pastors and things like that.
Taris Marie:So I did not know that I would even be in a position to be able to hear a voice.
Taris Marie:You know what I mean?
Taris Marie:I don't know.
Taris Marie:I thought it was just for pastors because I would hear it at church, you know, God said, or, you know, something like that.
Taris Marie:So when I heard that voice, and it was clear as day, and then when I heard, you know, write a book, I said, okay, that's it.
Taris Marie:You know, I watched my hair and I said, I'm gonna write a book.
Matt Gilhooly:Was this ever something on your list?
Taris Marie:This is, like, not on my list.
Matt Gilhooly:Totally brand new.
Taris Marie:But what I will say is, when I went back to go look in my garage and I looked at some of my old, like, things from when I was a little girl.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Taris Marie:I found in middle school a book called from my heart, mind, body and soul by Terrace Marie Rochelle Smith.
Taris Marie:That was my name.
Taris Marie:So that's what I saw.
Taris Marie:And I was like, oh, my God.
Taris Marie:And I did not remember writing that, right?
Taris Marie:So when it was like, this book is about blah, blah, blah.
Taris Marie:So it was like I was trying to get, you know, I guess it was something in me that I didn't even realize that was there.
Taris Marie:And then I told you I had a journalism scholarship to go to Florida A and M university.
Taris Marie:And so I guess it was just something I was keeping buried that I just didn't, you know, bring to life.
Taris Marie:But I sure heard it when I was in the shower.
Taris Marie:So when I heard that you, you know, I'm approaching 40, and I'm like, all right.
Taris Marie:So I sit in front of my computer in front of this blank piece of paper, or, you know, I got a big old screen that likes this big.
Taris Marie:And so I'm, like, looking at it, I'm like, you know, got my magnification on at 800.
Matt Gilhooly:So, like, you're like, what do I do?
Taris Marie:What do I do?
Taris Marie:You know?
Taris Marie:Because I told you my career and everything was in business.
Matt Gilhooly:It's so in fashion, it's like, what?
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, how he could have at least told you what kind of book to write.
Taris Marie:And so let me tell you about the conflict.
Taris Marie:Right?
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Taris Marie:And so I was like, does this mean I suppose I write christian literature?
Taris Marie:Like, I don't know.
Taris Marie:You know what I mean?
Taris Marie:So I didn't quite know.
Matt Gilhooly:Or your story.
Matt Gilhooly:I would imagine a lot of people would feel that compelled to tell your story.
Taris Marie:But you know what I did?
Taris Marie:I just opened my mind, and that's when I started hearing these characters talk to me.
Taris Marie:And so then they were like, you know, going on these adventures and doing all these things, and a lot of them come from broken places, you know?
Taris Marie:And so I just started writing, and literally, I haven't stopped.
Taris Marie: That was Juneteenth: Taris Marie:I write every single day.
Taris Marie:I published my first novel.
Matt Gilhooly:What a great day to start, too.
Taris Marie:Oh, and I didn't even realize it was Juneteenth.
Matt Gilhooly:Juneteenth.
Taris Marie:This was Covid, right?
Taris Marie:This was during COVID Everybody was on lockdown, and so my air conditioner wasn't working in the house.
Taris Marie:It was just crazy, right?
Taris Marie:And then I'm, like, super sweaty and hot, and so I'm like, you know, waiting on God to tell me what to do.
Taris Marie:And so then I was like, you know what?
Taris Marie:This is silly.
Taris Marie:Like, I don't know.
Taris Marie:And so then I was like, okay, google play Beyonce.
Taris Marie:You know, I just wanted to hear some beyonce to see what was going on.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah, who doesn't?
Taris Marie:And then the song that came on was Black Parade.
Taris Marie:And so she had released that on Juneteenth.
Taris Marie:So that's when, you know, I said, okay, well, God's going to use Beyonce to talk to me.
Taris Marie:Then let me go ahead and just.
Taris Marie:And then I started moving my fingers and looking at my big screen.
Taris Marie:And like I said, I started writing, and I just have not stopped.
Taris Marie:And I write women's crime, of all things, fiction.
Taris Marie:I write fiction.
Taris Marie:Novels.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:And love it.
Taris Marie:I love.
Taris Marie:I love what I do.
Matt Gilhooly:Do you ever think that, like, maybe, like, this was just pushed down because you had a.
Matt Gilhooly:You had your sight, you had your hear, you had all the things, so you could kind of go after all those things in your childhood that you love to do, and this was just, like, something you could do.
Matt Gilhooly:And now that you had some limitations in some of the things that you were doing, now you were able to hear the voices of your characters and the other things, because you gotta speak it.
Taris Marie:That is exactly.
Taris Marie:And that's why I said, you know what it.
Taris Marie:So as I journeyed through, especially with writing, I became more.
Taris Marie:And even before the writing, let me just rewind a little bit.
Taris Marie:I was exploring, trying to figure out, like, I told you, like, who I was, what, you know, but I did notice I started smelling things, spelling, you know, the way things smelled affected me differently.
Taris Marie:Touch, you know, because when you don't have your sight, you start depending on other senses.
Taris Marie:And so being able to hone in on those other things really helps me with my writing.
Taris Marie:I talk a lot about smells, touching, and, you know, all of that.
Taris Marie:And so these are things that you can take for granted, you know, or at least I took for granted, but.
Matt Gilhooly:I think most of us do.
Taris Marie:Mm hmm.
Taris Marie:But then once, you know, you lose your, you know, certain sense.
Taris Marie:And like I said, I have my peripheral, but I don't have my central vision, which, I mean, anything you look at, you know, for me, it's just a.
Taris Marie:Is gone.
Taris Marie:So the way that I feel and the way that I see it just, it allows me to be able to pour that into my art.
Taris Marie:And so I wrote a couple screenplays as well.
Taris Marie:I played around with some.
Taris Marie:Some poetry, and, I mean, everything just started coming out of me.
Matt Gilhooly:So it was bottled up.
Matt Gilhooly:It was bottled up for a while.
Taris Marie:I mean, I.
Taris Marie:And still, I'm just continuously coming up with new ideas, coming up with new stories, and I do voice to text, you know?
Matt Gilhooly:Is that how you write your books mostly, or.
Taris Marie:I'll use, like I told you, I magnify, like, 800 on my big screen.
Taris Marie:I'm doing this because it's, like, huge.
Taris Marie:And so I'll have, like, big words, but I'm.
Taris Marie:When I.
Taris Marie:In my beginning stages, I like to talk, you know, and then just let it type it out and then I hear it back.
Taris Marie:In retrospect, I was like, I was always a listener when it came to, even when I used to.
Taris Marie:I told you, I used to be in plays in high school and in college, and I would learn my scripts through listening.
Taris Marie:I would record my voice, and then I would listen to it.
Taris Marie:And so it all kind of makes sense now.
Taris Marie:It was all leading me to this one moment in which I was able to get up off that floor, really listen and then really hear, and then hear God and to just be obedient to what he told me to do.
Taris Marie:And so my life mission now is to inspire others, because, like I said, I just, being on that floor, I don't want anyone to feel that, and I want people to know that.
Taris Marie:It's never, ever too late.
Taris Marie:It's never too late.
Taris Marie:You can achieve whatever it is you put your mind to.
Taris Marie:I mean, who knew I would have been writing stories?
Taris Marie:I never, ever.
Taris Marie:If you would have said this to me, even though, like, I told you when I was a little girl, I used to do those things but I had forgot.
Taris Marie:I mean, I didn't even remember that I had done all of that until I was just going through some of my old stuff.
Taris Marie:But if someone would have said, you're gonna be a writer, I'd be like, ha ha ha.
Taris Marie:You know, that's funny.
Taris Marie:Even though my grandma, I remember asking my grandmother, she was a nurse, and I said, if there was anything that you could do, if it wasn't nursing, what would it be?
Taris Marie:And she was like, I would have been a writer.
Taris Marie:That's what my grandma said.
Taris Marie:I thought it was the cutest thing ever, but now I'm like, see, I just believe all these things that was happening.
Taris Marie:It's all spiritual.
Taris Marie:It was just going into my spirit.
Matt Gilhooly:Are you someone that believes that you had to hit that bathroom floor to find this new journey for you, or do you think it would have been possible had you not reached the depths that you did?
Taris Marie:That's a really good question, you know, I don't know, because all I can say is, I was on that floor, so.
Taris Marie:And that was.
Matt Gilhooly:Sometimes we don't listen until we get to that, you know?
Matt Gilhooly:Like, sometimes we don't hear the things that we need to hear until we hit that bottom, if you will.
Taris Marie:And, I mean, a lot of times, I've never heard anyone just say, oh, I was happy yesterday, and then today I'm on the floor.
Taris Marie:I mean, it's typically dissent, you know, that.
Taris Marie:You know, first you find yourself in the bed sleeping, you know, or, you know, you just find yourself just sitting on the couch first.
Taris Marie:And then, you know, it's just.
Taris Marie:It happens in stages.
Taris Marie:And so for me to, you know, like you said, I went through all those stages.
Taris Marie:I mean, I can sit here and just remember the tiredness, the feel, you know, the feeling that I had until I ended up on the floor, you know?
Taris Marie:And there's nowhere lower than that, other than death, you know?
Matt Gilhooly:Does that.
Matt Gilhooly:Looking back at those moments, does that make you celebrate where you are now even more so?
Taris Marie:Absolutely.
Taris Marie:Absolutely.
Taris Marie:I mean, even if, you know.
Taris Marie:And how do I say this?
Taris Marie:Prior to that, I never thought, and I hope this comes out properly, but I never thought that I would be a person that would end up on the floor, if that makes sense, because I was like, oh, I didn't been through so much.
Taris Marie:Like, you know, my mom left when I was a little girl.
Taris Marie:I didn't have a dad.
Taris Marie:I da da da da.
Taris Marie:Like, I did that, been there, done that, you know?
Taris Marie:And I was kind of, like, approaching life in this way to where I didn't think that I was capable of my mind getting to that point.
Matt Gilhooly:Turns out you're a human, too, right?
Taris Marie:I mean, that's it.
Matt Gilhooly:We can't predict anything.
Taris Marie:You can't.
Matt Gilhooly:You can't, you know, and you have to kind of just move through, like you said, with, like, when you can, you find these silver linings in a moment.
Matt Gilhooly:And even if it is, I showered today.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, if you're in that space, and it's like, I made a meal for the family today, you celebrate the little things.
Matt Gilhooly:Eventually, we can pull ourselves out.
Matt Gilhooly:Kind of interesting.
Matt Gilhooly:The episode that came out today, the day that we're recording this, was a gentleman, Chad foster, who at about in his twenties, he lost his vision completely.
Matt Gilhooly:And what he told.
Matt Gilhooly:Told me was that it was like this at his point in life.
Matt Gilhooly:Now it's like a gift that was presented to him in the ugliest wrapping paper that he's ever seen, because it opened his mind to things that he never even considered that he could do.
Matt Gilhooly:And now that he didn't have that one thing that so many other people do have, he was able to achieve even more than if we would just assume that we should have.
Matt Gilhooly:Like you said, kind of just, like, we just take for granted these things.
Matt Gilhooly:And now he's living out loud and, like, taught himself to ski and do all these things that I'm like, I don't even want to.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, I can't even imagine doing that.
Matt Gilhooly:And so, like, I.
Matt Gilhooly:I think we.
Matt Gilhooly:Until we hit these points, I mean, I wish we could learn before, but sometimes we have to hit these points where we're like, oh, this is the good part.
Matt Gilhooly:You know?
Matt Gilhooly:Like, these are the things.
Matt Gilhooly:And even in my sense, like, losing my mom, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, a child or anything.
Matt Gilhooly:But now that I look back, now that I'm in my forties and I look back at that experience, it taught me so much, all the things that came from, that made me the person that I am today.
Matt Gilhooly:And so to your point of finding that silver lining, finding the good in the bad things, is something that we could all practice a little bit more, I think.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:And I think that it helps.
Taris Marie:You know, I love that you have this platform because it allows people to see that I'm not the only one.
Taris Marie:Right?
Taris Marie:Because when I was going through my vision, when I was losing my vision and when I woke up and could see, I felt that no one could relate to what I was going through.
Taris Marie:And so you mentioned.
Taris Marie:What's his name?
Taris Marie:Chad.
Matt Gilhooly:Chad Foster.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Taris Marie:I watched it, and so I said, oh, my God, because he went to Harvard.
Taris Marie:I mean, he did all these amazing things, and seeing that motivated me.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:A legally blind woman.
Taris Marie:And I'm seeing this man talk about all these wonderful things that he's doing and the things that he's accomplished, and so it motivated.
Taris Marie:He's a public speaker.
Taris Marie:So I'm, like, taking notes.
Matt Gilhooly:What else could I do?
Taris Marie:You know what I'm saying?
Taris Marie:Taking notes.
Taris Marie:And so.
Taris Marie:And that's what your platform did for me.
Taris Marie:So that's what the hope is as we have these conversations.
Taris Marie:And hopefully someone will be able to watch it.
Taris Marie:And even if they're not legally blind or whatever, haven't had my experience.
Taris Marie:Well, if they feel themselves, like I'm saying, going to the floor, it's like, you can stop yourself before you get there.
Taris Marie:And like you said, celebrate those small wins.
Taris Marie:And I'm going to tell you what else.
Taris Marie:I got therapy.
Matt Gilhooly:It's a good thing.
Matt Gilhooly:It's helpful.
Taris Marie:I got professional help.
Taris Marie:You know, once I got up and I was like, okay, I can't do this alone, you know, I need some help.
Taris Marie:And so I do that with no shame.
Taris Marie:I talk about that all the time.
Taris Marie:I thank my therapist.
Taris Marie:In my book, you know, she got a special acknowledgement line because she said, are you okay?
Taris Marie:And first I was like, yeah, I'm good.
Taris Marie:And then I was like, no, I'm not.
Matt Gilhooly:That right there, that's.
Matt Gilhooly:That's the important step, I think, is when we can admit to ourselves that we're not okay, and that's okay to not be okay, because, again, we're human, and life will hit you in all sorts of ways.
Matt Gilhooly:We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
Matt Gilhooly:And so, like, it's okay to not be okay.
Matt Gilhooly:And I love that, that you found therapy and you found someone that would listen to you unbiased, not that our family around us.
Taris Marie:Oh, absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly:They want to hear us, but they're not listening to us in the same way as, like, a therapist, a third party might, you know, and absolutely, sometimes we just need to be able to say the thing, and maybe we skirt around the issue with the people we love because we don't want them to be worried about us.
Matt Gilhooly:But, yeah, I'm glad that you brought up therapy.
Matt Gilhooly: d I think we're, you know, in: Matt Gilhooly:It's not like a stigma, maybe as much as it used to seem like it, if you admitted you were going to therapy, they were like, what's wrong with you?
Matt Gilhooly:And you can go to therapy and nothing's wrong with you, you know?
Taris Marie:Absolutely, absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly:So I love that that helped you in that way.
Matt Gilhooly:Tell me a little bit more about, like, your first book and how you got it to publishing.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, okay, like, what does that journey look like for you in this new version of Taris?
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:So, as I said, I wrote, and I started writing.
Taris Marie:I was like, oh, my God.
Taris Marie:I kind of got, you know, I'm googling.
Taris Marie:I'm going to YouTube university, and I'm doing all these things, trying to teach myself.
Taris Marie:And so I'm like, I kind of came up with a little idea, and I'm like, okay, this feels right, you know?
Taris Marie:So I start sending out my manuscript to different publishers, and this editor is like, you need a writing coach.
Taris Marie:I'm like, what?
Taris Marie:Say what?
Taris Marie:Like, I can't get this published.
Taris Marie:Like, let's go.
Taris Marie:You know, it's just like, yeah, there are some key elements that you need in order to make a novel, you know?
Taris Marie:So I call this man.
Taris Marie:He's my Yoda, my literary Yoda.
Taris Marie:And so I hired a writing coach named Pallister.
Taris Marie:He's amazing.
Taris Marie:And so he basically, he was a professor for 30 years.
Taris Marie:So even though he's a writing coach now, he was a teacher at heart.
Taris Marie:And so I was a fast learner, and I was, like, soaking in all the information.
Taris Marie:And so he just took me to school, you know, just teaching me scene development, character development and all the things.
Taris Marie:And so it took maybe about a good 90 days for me to revamp my whole manuscript.
Taris Marie:And he said, well, this looks good.
Taris Marie:Like, you know, he couldn't.
Taris Marie:We couldn't believe it, right?
Taris Marie:And so he was like, let's just do a test and see what happens and see if you can get an agent.
Taris Marie:And so I sent it out and, you know, to six different agents, and then one of them I actually, you know, got.
Taris Marie:And within a year, I had my first, like, publishing deal.
Taris Marie:It's crazy.
Taris Marie:Yeah.
Taris Marie:And so that's.
Matt Gilhooly:How does that make you feel when you get that, like, yes, you had a publishing deal?
Taris Marie:You know, I couldn't.
Taris Marie:It was.
Taris Marie:It was.
Taris Marie:I was able to sit in it, you know, and it was so.
Taris Marie:It was such a beautiful, beautiful moment for me.
Matt Gilhooly:Did that feel different than the other wins in your life?
Taris Marie:Oh, my goodness.
Taris Marie:You're asking the most wonderful questions.
Taris Marie:I would say yes, because once you've gone to that bottom place and once you do something and realize it, that it's not about me, right?
Taris Marie:Because as you.
Taris Marie:As I said, and I want to make sure I'm saying it's right, but it's not going to be perfect.
Taris Marie:But, you know, I was chasing the money originally, and, you know, I had a career, and as you can see, what happened was I still hit rock bottom, right?
Taris Marie:So it's like, all the money and all the things that I had, it didn't even matter.
Taris Marie:So once I figured out and found something that gave me a purpose where, you know, and I say, even if someone doesn't buy black Pearl, if I can help someone not get on the floor, if I can be, you know, some.
Taris Marie:Or if I can help or just someone hearing my voice or hearing my story can help them in some way, then I've done my job, right?
Taris Marie:So getting published was the icing on the cake, because when God told me to write, I didn't know where it was gonna lead me.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:I didn't know if it was just gonna be.
Taris Marie:I'm just gonna write just for fun.
Taris Marie:And even though you said, write a book, you know, I didn't know exactly what.
Taris Marie:Where it was gonna take me.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:So when I was telling, you know, friends and family, like, what my book was about, it was like, that sounds like a movie.
Taris Marie:And actually, I did get a movie deal, but I turned it down.
Taris Marie:That's a whole nother story.
Taris Marie:But, yeah.
Taris Marie:Like, it was.
Taris Marie:Everything was just right.
Taris Marie:It just felt right.
Taris Marie:And it definitely was just a beautiful moment.
Taris Marie:And more so, just about that, I was doing something that I was meant to do, you know, and that.
Taris Marie:And realizing, like I said, it is not just for me, and it's not just about me.
Taris Marie:You know, I start thinking in terms of legacy, and, you know, it's like, no one can take this from me.
Taris Marie:Like, I have a published novel.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:And I have another one that's coming out in January.
Taris Marie:Yeah.
Taris Marie:And so it's just.
Taris Marie:It's just opened the doors and just being true to who.
Taris Marie:You know, I'm in a space in this place where I'm being true to who I am, you know, no matter with the imperfections, you know, I talk a lot about that.
Taris Marie:No more mask.
Taris Marie:You know, taking the mask off.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:Living out loud.
Taris Marie:Yep.
Taris Marie:Cause that's what I was doing for a while.
Taris Marie:You know, I was just like, oh, I'm good.
Taris Marie:I'm good.
Taris Marie:Everything's good.
Taris Marie:You know, when it.
Matt Gilhooly:To be fair, I think a lot of us were taught, like, society taught us to be that way.
Matt Gilhooly:So I don't think it was just you.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, I think we're all just like, you don't show your flaws, and you don't show the broken parts.
Matt Gilhooly:And, like, I'm sure you understand this now.
Matt Gilhooly:Those things are what make us interesting.
Matt Gilhooly:Those are the things that make us connect.
Taris Marie:Correct.
Matt Gilhooly:I can't relate to someone that just got this crazy promotion or some crazy award, but I sure can relate to when they're feeling, like, really crappy and, like, we can talk that through.
Matt Gilhooly:And now we both feel like humans together versus, you know, the celebrations that I think growing up, I was always taught, like, you just gotta get the next promotion.
Matt Gilhooly:You just need to buy the bigger house.
Matt Gilhooly:You just need to get a better car, you know, like, and now it's like you publishing, getting a publishing deal, getting a book published that didn't exist.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, that book didn't exist.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, you created that from nothing.
Matt Gilhooly:Whereas in your.
Matt Gilhooly:In your former life, you were just getting the next job that someone else decided what that job looked like, and maybe you made it your own, but you were still kind of following some kind of formula.
Matt Gilhooly:This started with a blank page.
Taris Marie:Oh.
Matt Gilhooly:You know, and you created something that now you can celebrate and sit in and be like.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, it's kind of like, I guess, like having a kid.
Matt Gilhooly:Right?
Matt Gilhooly:Like, you created that, right?
Taris Marie:Absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly:So I can see how that would be just, like, so fulfilling in this, like, indescribable way.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:And it felt.
Taris Marie:It was like, you know what?
Taris Marie:And I don't like to recognize the negativity.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:You know, how people like, you know, tell the haters, blah, blah, blah.
Taris Marie:I don't really like to do that, but, like, I don't even like to give it energy.
Taris Marie:But I will say that, you know, I did have a moment.
Taris Marie:Like, I remember when I was told that I couldn't even work in the mail room, you know.
Matt Gilhooly:Hey, but that's funny because you also said you listened to, I don't.
Matt Gilhooly:Wouldn't call them haters, but you listened to someone that was like, you need a writing coach.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, that's.
Matt Gilhooly:That that could be seen in your previous world.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, you're not good enough.
Matt Gilhooly:Right?
Matt Gilhooly:But you took it as, no, you're right.
Matt Gilhooly:I could use this.
Matt Gilhooly:You know, like, so there's a.
Matt Gilhooly:There's a flip in the way you described your former life and the things that you were doing and how you approached that.
Matt Gilhooly:So even that you, like, gave it air and you.
Matt Gilhooly:And it helped you.
Matt Gilhooly:So.
Taris Marie:Very true.
Matt Gilhooly:There's that element to that.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, congratulations on first book, but also congratulations on upcoming book.
Matt Gilhooly:That's so cool.
Taris Marie:Thank you so much.
Matt Gilhooly:Are you just going to keep, like, banging them out?
Taris Marie:Like, yeah.
Taris Marie:So Black Pearl is my first one, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary, and then I have the Empress creed that's coming out in January.
Taris Marie:And then that following November, I have one called Black Juliet that's coming out.
Matt Gilhooly:I guess that's what happens when you write every day.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Taris Marie:I told you, I just couldn't stop.
Taris Marie:You know, I started writing, and I.
Taris Marie:One of the things I know I will say that I had to learn also is I went too far on the.
Taris Marie:On that end, because when I was writing every day, I wasn't sleeping, you know, so I started going too far over because I was like, oh, I got to get it done.
Taris Marie:I gotta get.
Taris Marie:Because to be honest, for a minute, I was scared that I was gonna lose it, right?
Taris Marie:Because I was like, where is this even coming from?
Taris Marie:Like, all of this, like, ideas.
Taris Marie:And, you know, it was like, that makes sense.
Taris Marie:Space in place for me, and I truly was scared that I was gonna maybe lose it.
Taris Marie:I was like, well, what if it goes away?
Taris Marie:So I was just like, you know, wasn't sleeping.
Taris Marie:I'm walking around like a zombie, you know, wasn't getting any sleep.
Taris Marie:And so I had to then, you know, find a balance and be able to be present, you know, for my kids and my husband and, you know, making sure that I have work hours and, you know, do all the things and treat it, you know, like a career, like a job.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:But still.
Taris Marie:But still.
Taris Marie:Now, don't get me wrong.
Taris Marie:You know, there may be times when, you know, like, I'm working on this new baby, and it's a little western, and so, you know, if she starts, like, talking to me in my sleep, I have to get up and just, you know, write down what she's saying real quick, and then I'll get back into bed, you know, so that does.
Taris Marie:That is part of the, you know, because I want things to happen, you know, naturally.
Taris Marie:But also, I hope I'm making sense, just finding that balance, making sure I'm not going too far to where I'm depriving myself of, you know, sleep and all the things that you need in order to make sure you stay healthy.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah, that's important.
Matt Gilhooly:Otherwise, you won't be able to write any more books if you're not healthy.
Matt Gilhooly:So you need to.
Taris Marie:Oh, my goodness.
Matt Gilhooly:You need to find that balance.
Matt Gilhooly:Do your kids or your husband say anything about who you are now compared to who you were before?
Matt Gilhooly:Did they notice a difference.
Matt Gilhooly:Are you different?
Taris Marie:Mmm.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, are you more joyful because you're kind of living in this space or.
Taris Marie:Yeah, you know what?
Matt Gilhooly:Or they're just like your mom.
Taris Marie:I was gonna try to separate it, but, yeah, like, with my kids, I just feel like, you know, I'm mom.
Taris Marie:I hit a lot, you know?
Taris Marie:So they didn't really, like, they hear.
Taris Marie:They know now.
Taris Marie:I mean.
Taris Marie:Cause they hear me talking.
Taris Marie:They've seen some of my podcasts.
Taris Marie:They're like, mommy, we didn't know you were on the floor.
Taris Marie:Like, you know.
Taris Marie:So then I try to be open with them and say, mom, just like I talked to you.
Taris Marie:But I make it age appropriate.
Taris Marie:But I say, you know, mommy wasn't being.
Taris Marie:You know, mommy wasn't feeling well, and, you know.
Taris Marie:So now I make sure that if I'm tired or something's going on, I don't just say, oh, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
Taris Marie:It's like, mommy, take a nap.
Matt Gilhooly:You're teaching them.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, they're seeing that, and that's gonna be great for them as adults.
Taris Marie:Yes, I'm telling you.
Taris Marie:And that's.
Taris Marie:Again, taking that mask off in all forms.
Taris Marie:And my husband reads my work, and he's supportive.
Matt Gilhooly:Does he tell you when it's not good?
Matt Gilhooly:Is it ever not good?
Matt Gilhooly:It's not good.
Matt Gilhooly:I knew you were gonna say that.
Matt Gilhooly:Somehow I knew that.
Taris Marie:No, no, no, no.
Taris Marie:I'm my worst critic.
Taris Marie:And to be honest, I don't really give him, like, I don't tell him.
Matt Gilhooly:You're just like, read it.
Matt Gilhooly:Don't tell me what to say about it.
Taris Marie:No, no, no.
Taris Marie:I take his feedback, but it's like, I usually wait until I'm at a good space and place to be able to, like, when I know that I've already done it, you know?
Taris Marie:Cause it's like I can kind of feel it where, you know, it's like, ooh, this feels good, you know?
Taris Marie:So then that's usually when I share, because I am the only child, right?
Taris Marie:So sometimes I like my me time.
Taris Marie:And so, you know, I get kind of, like, in this little beautiful space and place where, you know, I create.
Taris Marie:And not all those ideas are good, and I know that.
Taris Marie:Right.
Taris Marie:But it's just fun to just play around, you know, and just see.
Taris Marie:Because sometimes something beautiful may come out of it, you know?
Taris Marie:So I don't.
Taris Marie:I don't always share all those little things with him until it gets to the point where I feel comfortable to get, like, feedback, where it's like, you know, what do you think about this versus that, you know, especially if I write from a male perspective, you know, so I'm, like, helpful.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:You know, so sounds like you know what you're doing.
Taris Marie:I'm trying.
Taris Marie:I'm learning as I go.
Matt Gilhooly:Hey, you know, I love to kind of wrap these conversations up with a question, and I'm wondering if you could go back to the terrorists that woke up that day and couldn't see the text messages on her phone and this version of you, what would you want to say to her about this journey that she was about to go on?
Taris Marie:If I could go back and talk to myself?
Taris Marie:Is that what you're asking?
Taris Marie:Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, if you could talk to you knowing what you know now on this journey that you found this joy again.
Taris Marie:Yes.
Matt Gilhooly:And that.
Matt Gilhooly:That terrace that woke up that morning and looked at her phone and didn't see the things she was expecting to see on that phone.
Taris Marie:What do you want to say?
Taris Marie:I would tell her to be true to herself.
Taris Marie:Put faith over fear, and it will be okay.
Matt Gilhooly:Just believe in yourself.
Taris Marie:It will be okay, Faith.
Taris Marie:You know, don't be scared.
Taris Marie:You know, Faith, make sure you keep your faith intact and just be true to who you are.
Taris Marie:I think I would.
Taris Marie:I would, definitely.
Taris Marie:And then it's okay.
Taris Marie:I think a lot of times, when we're going through things, just hearing that you're okay is important, because a lot of times, that's the part that's the kicker, because you don't feel like you're going to be okay.
Taris Marie:You're like, it's so painful.
Taris Marie:It's like, I'm not.
Taris Marie:I'm not.
Taris Marie:It's like, yeah, you may not feel it in this moment, but you're going to be okay.
Taris Marie:Like, the sun is gonna come up tomorrow, right?
Taris Marie:So you.
Matt Gilhooly:She'd probably be like, you did what?
Matt Gilhooly:You wrote a book.
Matt Gilhooly:You wrote two books.
Matt Gilhooly:You wrote a third book.
Taris Marie:Oh, my goodness.
Taris Marie:Like, I can't.
Taris Marie:Even.
Taris Marie:When you say, go back, I just felt.
Taris Marie:When I looked at that phone, it just took me back to truly, like, I could remember what that feeling lost and just feeling like, what am I gonna do?
Taris Marie:And that, you know, I just remember just feeling all over the place, but, you know, just.
Taris Marie:Just knowing that, you know, you're going to be all right and to, you know, do not be scared.
Taris Marie:And that is that, you know, my anxiety goes up all the time, but it's like, you know, making sure I just have my.
Taris Marie:Keep my faith first and just know that, you know, God got you.
Matt Gilhooly:Yeah, well, I mean, look where you are.
Matt Gilhooly:Like, you did it, you know, and you're still doing it and you're, who knows what the next ten years are going to bring in this journey that you're creating for yourself now and you trust yourself.
Taris Marie:So I think, oh, I love that.
Taris Marie:Trust yourself.
Taris Marie:That is so major, you know, and it's so hard, you know, because you start thinking about, well, I got this due and that due and all these bills, you know, but, you know, God had me and in more ways than one because, you know, I was able to hear his voice.
Taris Marie:Thank God.
Taris Marie:Thank you, God.
Taris Marie:I was able to.
Taris Marie:I was able to hear his voice because, you know, sometimes, like you said, people don't get to even hear that.
Taris Marie:So I was able to actually hear that and listen and yes, and I made a commitment.
Taris Marie:And that's why I'm like, no matter what platform I'm on, I make sure I tell my story and, you know, and make sure that, you know, I give God the glory and also that I want people to know that it's never too late.
Matt Gilhooly:I mean, give yourself some of that credit, too.
Matt Gilhooly:I think you've done the work you've done a lot.
Matt Gilhooly:So if people want to get in your orbit, they want to learn more about your books or connect with you, what's the best way to find you?
Taris Marie:Okay, you can find me on social mediarismarie, that's on Facebook and Instagram.
Taris Marie:You can go to my website at www.terracemarie.com, or you can go to blackodysy.net dot.
Taris Marie:That's where you can see all my books that are going to be coming out as well.
Taris Marie:So any of those platforms, you should be able to find me.
Matt Gilhooly:We'll definitely put those links in the show notes so people can easily find you and connect with you and read your books and order your books and do all the things and connect with you or even reach out and tell, tell you that you made a difference and what you said connected with them and made them feel less alone.
Matt Gilhooly:Because I'm sure that someone listening right now is feeling that way.
Matt Gilhooly:And so if you are, I'm sure Taris would love to hear from you and hear that.
Matt Gilhooly:So thank you for allowing me to hold this space and have these questions for you and for you to answer them.
Matt Gilhooly:Thank you for that.
Taris Marie:Thank you.
Taris Marie:Thank you for the wonderful questions and thank you for having me.
Taris Marie:I truly appreciate you.
Matt Gilhooly:Well, thank you.
Matt Gilhooly:Thank you for listening.
Matt Gilhooly:If something that Tara said resonated with you or you think someone in your life needs to hear this story.
Matt Gilhooly:Please share this episode with them.
Matt Gilhooly:We would love that and I will say goodbye for now.
Matt Gilhooly:I will be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly:Thanks again Taris.
Taris Marie:Thank you.
Matt Gilhooly:For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
