๐๏ธ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ: ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐๐๐ฆ, ๐ง๐ช๐ข ๐ช๐ข๐ ๐๐ก & ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ก๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ก๐๐
๐ฅณ ๐ช๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ง ๐ง๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฌ!
Twenty episodes. Two women. Hundreds of conversations. Several biscuits. Numerous seagulls. One foul-mouthed parrot. Two men missing in edible underwear. A suspicious number of Martinsโฆ and absolutely no satisfactory explanation for whatโs been going on in Bromyard.
Yes, somehow ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐ has reached Episode 20 and to celebrate, Kerry and Pauline are rummaging through the first 19 episodes to revisit some of the stories, characters and complete nonsense that got them here.
Did they know what they were doing when they started?
Absolutely not.
Do they know what theyโre doing now?
Also absolutely not.
But theyโre having a lovely time. ๐
๐ฉฒ ๐๐๐ข๐๐, ๐ง๐๐ & ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ง๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐๐๐
Some stories simply refuse to die.
And then thereโs Geoff and Ted.
What began with Geoff from Belmont and an unfortunate history involving budgie smugglers somehow escalated into CCTV in the toilet, an unhappy vicar, long-suffering Sandra and eventuallyโฆ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ.
Cheese and onion pants, anyone? ๐คข
Things got even worse when Geoff and Ted disappeared into the Black Mountains with their survival pants, prompting the arrival of survival expert Steve Chance, who was very focused on the rescue but slightly less focused on remembering Paulineโs name.
Apparently, sheโs Alan now.
The whole saga is finally honoured with the prestigious ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ณ๐ณ & ๐ง๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ ๐ฒ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐.
Theyโre not actually dead.
We donโt think.
๐คฆโโ๏ธ ๐ ๐๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ฆ, ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ช๐ก๐ฆ & ๐ง๐๐๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐ง๐๐๐ง ๐ช๐๐ก๐ง ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฌ ๐ช๐ฅ๐ข๐ก๐
Why do simple things become major operations when Pauline and Kerry are involved?
Thereโs the time Pauline became trapped underneath a mattress and contemplated the possibility of being discovered weeks later.
Pauline also recalls her cinema disasters, falling asleep and snoring through films, plus the slight problem of looking directly at an eclipse ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐.
Then thereโs Lakefestโs infamous ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฏ๐๐ฟ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ถ๐น๐น, a television reflection featuring an unexpected woman in a dressing gown, and the still very raw trauma ofโฆ
๐จ๏ธ ๐ง๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ฅ๐๐ก๐ง๐๐ฅ.
Yes, Episode 19โs printer rage is alive and well.
Poor Terry.
๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ฆ, ๐ฆ๐๐๐๐จ๐๐๐ฆ & ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐๐-๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ง๐ฆ
No Herefordshire Hearsay retrospective would be complete without the animals.
Thereโs Percy, the African Grey parrot who escaped and flew around the neighbourhood shouting โBugger off!โ in a remarkably convincing voice.
Then there are Paulineโs beloved seagulls, Ralph and Squeak, with Squeak now banging on windows for attention and enjoying a diet that apparently includes fish fingers.
And who could forget Grant the guide dog, who had his own ideas about the correct route and regularly took Pervez to Greggs for a sausage roll, whether Pervez wanted one or not.
Guide dog?
More like ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ด๐ด๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ด. ๐ฅ
๐ฝ ๐๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ข๐จ๐ก๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐
Ah, Bromyard.
A place where apparently nobody would be particularly surprised to see an alien wandering down the High Street.
The ladies revisit Dougโs extra-terrestrial encounters, including a red-eyed alien carrying a Tesco bag, suspicious cashpoint activity, crop circles, a farmer with an entrepreneurial streak and some naked dancing that caused considerable concern to one local resident.
And if aliens really did land in Herefordshire, who should make first contact?
Thereโs only one sensible answer.
๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป. ๐๐ฟ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฐ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐บ๐.
Humanity is safe. Probably.
๐ช ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐จ๐๐ง๐ฆ, ๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ & ๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ข๐
Food has played an alarmingly large role in the first 20 episodes.
There have been pies, chips, breakfasts, kebabs, donuts, cake and, of courseโฆ
๐๐๐ฆ๐๐จ๐๐ง๐ฆ.
Darren remains a champion double-dunker.
Dale remains the man who has ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐.
And Pauline reveals the food combination she simply cannot forgive:
๐ณ Eggs.
๐ซ Beans.
๐ซ TOUCHING EACH OTHER.
Apparently they shouldnโt merely be separated.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ฒ.
Meanwhile, a Jaffa Cake gets lodged somewhere it shouldnโt, and a batch of Christmas mince pies removes virtually all available moisture from the human mouth.
Delicious.
๐คช ๐ก๐จ๐ ๐ฃ๐ข๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ, ๐๐๐ ๐ฃ ๐ฆ๐ค๐จ๐๐๐ฆ & ๐๐๐จ๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ง
The English language has taken quite a battering over the last 19 episodes.
Kerry has developed the remarkable ability to invent a completely new word and then simply carry on talking as though nothing happened.
And so we celebrate some Hearsay classics:
๐ ๐ก๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐น๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป
๐ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฝ ๐ฆ๐พ๐๐ถ๐ฑ
๐ ๐๐น๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐น๐น๐ฒ๐ฐ๐
We even finally establish the official definition of a Numpolian:
โA small but surprisingly confident person who may or may not have invaded France.โ
Makes perfect sense to us.
๐จ ๐๐จ๐๐๐ฌ, ๐๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ฆ & ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐-๐ง๐๐-๐ฆ๐๐๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฆ
Recording a podcast in a kitchen comes with certain hazards.
Phones ring.
People turn up.
Seagulls attack windows.
And sometimes a large dog called Buddy wanders around farting while youโre trying to record.
The important thing is to establish very quickly that ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ปโ๐ ๐๐ผ๐.
๐ฅธ ๐ ๐ข๐จ๐ฆ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ฆ, ๐ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฆ & ๐จ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ฅ ๐ ๐๐ฌ๐๐๐
Kerry and Pauline have also somehow become undercover investigators.
Their Peterstow surveillance operation is revisited, along with those extremely convincing disguises.
Then thereโs the murder mystery and the unfortunate incident involving Tammyโs stick-on moustache.
Pauline applied it.
Upside down.
And temporarily stuck Tammyโs lips together.
Professional undercover operatives at work.
โค๏ธ ๐ง๐๐ ๐ช๐ข๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ฅ๐
Behind all the madness, this episode also celebrates something that has become a huge part of Herefordshire Hearsay โ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ.
From Mac McDonald and his unforgettable hat to the many Martins, Butter Market traders, neighbours, fishermen, friends, family members, followers and unsuspecting members of the public who have suddenly found a microphone pointed in their direction.
There are also the brilliant people whoโve played characters in the stories, including Steve Chance, Doug and a particularly outraged observer of naked crop-circle dancing.
Some knew they were going to be involved.
Othersโฆ possibly less so. ๐
But theyโve all helped turn Herefordshire Hearsay into what it is.
And Kerry and Pauline have discovered that once you stop and actually talk to people, Herefordshire is absolutely bursting with characters and stories.
๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ฆ, ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ง๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฆ & ๐ง๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ง ๐ฎ๐ฌ
So what happens next?
Will they finally interview an alien?
Will Geoff and Ted return?
Will Dale EVER dunk a biscuit?
Will Pauline and Kerry officially be banned from Bromyard?
Will they accidentally join the circus?
And will Squeak the seagull have moved into Paulineโs house by Episode 40?
There are plans for more interviews, more characters, more Story Seat episodes, perhaps some video and even a panel of unsuspecting victimsโฆ sorry, ๐ด๐๐ฒ๐๐๐.
Because after 20 episodes, one thing has become very clear:
๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐.
And Herefordshire has plenty of them.
๐ง ๐ง๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฅ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ก๐!
Whether youโve been with us from Episode 1 or youโve only just discovered the strange world of Herefordshire Hearsay, thank you for listening, laughing, following, commenting and joining in with the nonsense.
We genuinely didnโt realise when we started just how much fun this would be.
Twenty episodes later, weโre still laughing.
Weโre still learning.
Wellโฆ
Actually, judging by this episode, ๐๐ฒโ๐๐ฒ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐น๐๐๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด.
And we wouldnโt have it any other way. ๐
๐๏ธ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒโ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ป๐ฒ๐
๐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ!
Follow Herefordshire Hearsay on our social channels, send us your stories and suggestions โ and if you see Pauline approaching with a microphoneโฆ
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฟ๐๐ป. ๐๐โ๐น๐น ๐ผ๐ป๐น๐ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ. ๐ค๐
