Motherhood rarely unfolds the way we imagine it will. I sit down with Kayla to talk about the unexpected turns her journey has taken — from two very different postpartum experiences to navigating her daughter’s rare genetic condition and a challenging NICU stay. She shares how quickly life shifted and how those seasons reshaped her understanding of strength, identity, and resilience.

When her own health began to decline and she was later diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, Kayla was forced to look deeper. Discovering the mind-body connection and somatic therapy changed everything. What once felt like her body failing her became an invitation to understand her nervous system and begin healing. This conversation explores trauma, resilience, and how our hardest chapters can sometimes guide us back to ourselves in a completely new way.

Key Takeaways

1. The nervous system plays a foundational role in both physical health and emotional resilience
2. Trauma and chronic stress can manifest physically when left unprocessed
3. Healing often begins with curiosity toward your symptoms instead of fear
4. Learning simple somatic tools can create a sense of safety in the body during overwhelming seasons

About the Guest:

Kayla Brazier is a community builder, event curator, and Somatic Practitioner based in Kamloops, BC. She is the founder of Fullest Table, where she designs elevated dinner experiences that bring women together around beauty, conversation, and nervous-system-centered connection.

https://www.fullesttable.com/

About The Host:

Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a family physician with a clinical focus on aesthetic medicine, women’s health, and psycho-education. Her work is grounded in a holistic, whole-person approach that integrates medical science with a deep appreciation of the mind–body connection. Alongside her clinical practice, she is deeply committed to medical education and mentors the next generation of family physicians through her work with the Department of Family Medicine at the University of British Columbia.

She is the founder of Reclaim The Pink Within, a community created to support women through life’s most profound transitions. This project was born from personal experience. After becoming a mother, Dr. Oliver-Dussault became aware of a quiet but profound shift in her sense of self, one she had long observed in her patients, yet only fully understood once she lived it herself. What had once been a clinical observation became a deeply personal insight, shaping the lens through which she now supports and guides other women.

You can connect with her on Instagram at @drchristellemd and @reclaimthepinkwithin

Website: www.getyourpinkbackproject.com

Email: [email protected]

Medical Disclaimer

The Reclaim The Pink Within podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared in this podcast reflects the personal views and professional experiences of the host and guests and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

While Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a licensed physician, this podcast does not constitute a doctor–patient relationship. Always seek the advice of your own qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical or mental health concerns, diagnoses, or treatment decisions. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice because of something you have heard on this podcast.

Thank You for Listening

Thank you for spending your time with us and for being part of the Reclaim The Pink Within community. This space exists because of women who are willing to listen, reflect, and engage in conversations that are often kept private. Whether you are in the midst of transition, questioning who you are becoming, or simply seeking connection, your presence here matters.

Your willingness to show up—for yourself and for others—is what makes this project possible.

Subscribe to the Podcast

If these conversations resonate with you, be sure to subscribe to the Reclaim The Pink Within podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts. Subscribing ensures you never miss an episode and helps support the continued creation of thoughtful, meaningful content for women navigating identity, change, and reconnection.

New episodes are released regularly, each offering insight, reflection, and shared experience.

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Reviews not only support the growth of the podcast, but they also help normalize these conversations and bring them out of the shadows—where they belong.

I think probably the number one tool that I use is called somatic

tracking. I was first exposed to that through that Tell Me About Your Pain

podcast. And it is so relevant for

everything in life, not necessarily just pain, but for sensations

and uncomfortable sensations and emotions in general. Yeah, really cool.

But there are so many things that I learned along the way that I've taken

with me and that are part of my toolkit now. Super. Tell me a little

bit more about somatic tracking for those listeners who haven't heard of that concept

before. Okay. How do I start? I just, when I get into somatics, I just

wanna like explain the whole nervous system. I get really carried away.

I'm so passionate about it. But essentially the idea of somatic

tracking is locating an uncomfortable

sensation. Actually, it doesn't even have to be uncomfortable, but for the purposes of what

we're talking about now, locating an uncomfortable sensation in your body

and following it, getting to know it, understanding it, and

just watching it from a place of kind of curiosity rather than

fear. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode.

Today I have with me quite a special woman. Kayla is her name,

and we met a few months ago thanks to social

media. I was new enough to the community of Kamloops where I

live now, and I was feeling isolated and

in the need to connect with other like-minded women.

And through Instagram, I saw her company called Phyllis

Table, who curates events, uh, to

connect women. Different theme: supper club,

conversation, connection. And I went to one of

her events and absolutely loved it, made some wonderful

connections. We have stayed in touch since, and she

gave me a lovely opportunity to speak at one of her events on motherhood and

ambition a few months ago. And over our multiple coffee dates,

she just seemed like the perfect person to bring onto the podcast to talk

about her own experience of motherhood, the struggles that she

has faced, and how that's impacted her and how she has navigated that.

So Welcome. Thank you for making time

to chat to me today. Before we dive into

your journey to motherhood, would you mind sharing with our audience a little bit

of who you were before you became a mom? That's an

excellent question. I have always been

a creative, I think, first and foremost.

I have bounced around from thing to thing, a lot

of different kind of career ideas, ambitions.

Enthusiasms. And, um, right before I

became a mom, I was running my own clothing line. I had

a natural fiber loungewear line,

um, and this was before COVID hit, before loungewear was cool, so I feel like

it was at the right time. But,

um, but, uh, yeah, and I, I absolutely loved it. I loved making

clothing, um, it was such a fun creative outlet. I got to work in a

studio alongside one of my best friends who has a clothing line as well,

still does, and she kind of taught me all of her knowledge, which was

beautiful. Before I was a mother, I was a

wife. I honestly got married pretty young.

Um, and so I have been married to my husband now for 8 and a

half years. And I've always been an

extrovert. Um, I think, I think I denied that for a

really long time. Um, but I'm a people person through and

through. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that really shines through, through all the work that you

do. Um, so tell me a little bit about

your your first pregnancy and how things shifted for

you, uh, with your firstborn? Yeah, good question.

Pregnancy is not a beautiful state for

me,

to be honest. I've dreamed of being a mother my whole life. I've always wanted—

I always wanted to like have that beautiful pregnancy experience that was

like this beautiful, gorgeous goddess earth angel just

carrying life and blossoming. Um, not that.

Not that for me at all. I have

a really hard time. Yeah, I have a really hard time being pregnant.

Yeah. And, um, yeah, during that first pregnancy, my business

definitely struggled. My ambitions tanked.

Uh, I really tried hard to keep things going and

with my clothing line and, um, kind of just like

maintained for a little while. And then I got, I got pregnant again really, really

quickly after my first. I had the most glorious,

gorgeous postpartum experience. With my first, which I don't

think a lot of people get to experience. So I feel super blessed for that.

It was the best year of my life. Absolutely.

Um, and it was so good that I just couldn't wait to do it again.

And I ruined it by getting pregnant again,

thinking, oh, it might be different this time. Um, and it was much

worse. It was much worse the second time. Yeah.

So halfway through, actually not even halfway through my pregnancy, I was probably

still first trimester. Um, we were living in Victoria at at the time,

and I said, you know what, I need my mom.

I can't do this. Uh, so we packed up our whole life and we moved

back to Kamloops, which is my hometown. Yeah. Tell

me a little bit about that wonderful first year, because I think it'll be nice

for women to hear, because a lot of the times on these calls we've talked

about the struggles, but I think it's important to hear about positive

experiences as well. Yeah, for sure.

Um, I was young I was 25,

just turned 25 when I had my first. It was so novel,

I think, was the main part of it. Like, I had been dreaming of this

having a baby thing my entire life, and I was one of the first in

my friend group to have a baby, actually probably the first.

So it made me feel special. And I

was so deeply, deeply in love with my baby, just like

madly deeply. He was a great baby. He

was super, super easy. Since then, that has

changed. He has become a far more challenging child.

But that, that first year was, I don't know, it was magical. It was blissful.

My husband and I's relationship actually was still pretty new.

Um, we had a bit of a shotgun, uh, immigration marriage. So

we had known each other for 6 months before we got married. And,

um, so about a year and a half before we got pregnant, we'd only been

together. So there was still, you know, a little bit of that kind of honeymoon

phase that we were working through. Living through. And,

um, Victoria is a gorgeous place, beautiful city,

very walkable. And our neighborhood was lovely. We loved the place we were living,

and it was such a lovely time of year. It was just coming into fall,

so we would just walk around the city together every single day with the

baby and watch the leaves change. And yeah, I don't know,

it was special despite like a pretty traumatic birth and delivery. It

was a really special time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It sounds like you had some

lovely moments of bonding with your husband as well too. Oh, did you notice a

shift in your relationship, uh, once, uh, your

baby came along? For the better at first.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Just kind of, we were moony over each other. Like, look at what

we made. Yeah. Look at this beautiful thing that we made. Um,

when the second pregnancy hit, that's when things started to get

tough for us. Mm-hmm. Understandably.

Um, second pregnancy, I was like basically out for 9 months. Okay. And

my husband was taking point on parenting with

our 1-year-old. Mm-hmm. Um, and it was, yeah, it was

really hard. I had to stop working. Um, I was like on the couch. I

mean, I probably don't give myself enough credit. I, you know, I survived, but

it was really hard for all of us. Mm-hmm. For sure. And probably not what

you all expected either. Not at all. No.

A lot of unexpecteds through the journey. I'll say that.

Yeah. Tell me a little bit more when baby number 2 came along.

How did that transition from 1 to 2 go? So my

second child was born with a rare genetic condition.

So it was really awful. It was

really, really horrible. Towards the end of my pregnancy,

I could barely stand up. I was in

so much pain. I knew early on, I had an intuition

that the baby was gonna come early. I knew he was coming before

my due date. And he did. I went into labor

at 37 weeks and I was

bursting at the seams. He ended up, despite

being 3 weeks early, he was 10 and a half pounds and he was

posterior. Yeah, he was upside down. So

he actually, he came out flat. He wasn't breathing

and had to be resuscitated. I gave birth to him at home.

So he was taken immediately to the hospital And when he

got there, he, they checked his blood sugar levels, which is actually a

miracle. Like if he hadn't come out flat, that, that his blood sugar probably wouldn't

be checked. Cause that's not protocol at birth. Yeah. It is protocol in the

trauma bay at the hospital. So they checked his blood sugar and it was at

1.2, which is like nearly dead. So they were

able to get him stable, his blood sugar stabilized. And

we spent the first month of his life in the NICU. So that

was just really tough. Like I had a 2-year-old at home. He actually, he

wasn't even 2 yet. He was 1 and a bit.

Yeah. Who again, I felt I had to abandon basically to be there for the

baby. Yeah. At our NICU, in our NICU at the time,

we didn't have like separate rooms, so I wasn't allowed to stay the night there.

And we were kicked, like NICU parents were kicked out of the space a lot

and we just kind of had to stand outside while they were talk, the doctors

and nurses were talking 'cause of confidentiality reasons. So it was

really tough. It was really tough. And at the same time we were like peak

pandemic, peak COVID times. Yeah. And it

was, uh, like the worst fire

season our city's ever seen. So it was 40, 49 degrees on the day,

49 degrees Celsius on the day he was born. Started raining.

And you pushed. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so the

postpartum period was just like a disaster, to be honest. My

granny also died while My baby was in

hospital, so I didn't get to go say goodbye to her. And she was— her

and I were very close. And we were just

navigating this new thing. He got

diagnosed about 3 days after he was born with a condition called Beckwith-Wiedemann

syndrome. Okay. So there was just so much up in the air, so

uncertain. It's a spectrum disorder, so we didn't know what we were really dealing

with. So it added— there was just so many extra levels to the

postpartum period that I

wasn't expecting, and that added a lot of strain

and challenge for sure. How did it affect you?

Um, I got really sick actually. I, uh, my body

shut down when Wyatt, our second born, was about

18 months. And actually I should go ahead and say too that

during this period of time, we actually attempted to move to England

as well, which is where my husband is from. So We, at one point

during this whole thing, I think Wyatt, I think Wyatt was 4 months old.

Yeah. Yeah. I think when Wyatt was 4 months old, we put our

whole house into a shipping container and got on a plane and moved to

England. Well, attempted. We lasted 7 months before we were back again. But,

um, yeah. So, uh, just to add

some more to the perfect storm. Um, so

isolated and sick. In a country I didn't know

very well. I mean, I had my, my in-laws and stuff there, but it's still

a whole other world. And despite English culture being pretty close to

Canadian culture, it was still a culture shock for me.

Didn't have my people, was postpartum, nursing, so many

emotions, trying to navigate the medical system anew

in England. I was like on the phone crying every day

to try to get some help and to get some support with my

baby. Um, so I started getting sick,

like I started having a million different symptoms during the time that

we were in England. The first one was chronic post-viral

symptoms. Okay. So I had a sore throat

constantly. Um, my sinuses were always infected and in

pain. I had a sore ear

all the time. Um, my chest was always sore.

I started having like body aches and pains. I

became chronically fatigued. Laundry list, like

my TMJ, which I've had for a long time, but it flared up really, really

badly. Okay. I, there's so many things

I had at one time. I wrote them down and I think I had like

21 different symptoms. Okay. So I just felt like my body was

shutting down and, and, uh, I, I, I was like, I think I'm

dying. Like I must have cancer. And we came back to Canada.

I went and saw my doctor, had every test done in the book.

He basically diagnosed me with chronic fatigue syndrome, ADHD,

and depression, which all of those things were,

you know, in my opinion, a lot of them were kind of like, it felt

like they were like a catch-all for when,

when we don't know what's wrong with you, we kind of put you into these,

these buckets. He offered me antidepressants.

I said, no, thank you. Cause that's just not really my thing. I've been on

them before. I didn't want to do it again. Again. And

it kind of, after that, yeah, it was really disheartening.

I woke up on New Year's Day when Wyatt was about 18 months old and

I was like, I can't live like this anymore. I couldn't get outta my bed

for a while. And I decided, yeah, I decided

I couldn't do it anymore. So I, you know, I went down a rabbit hole

after that. And

during that time of sort of spiraling body shutting

down, was there a moment

where a light bulb went off or

you recognize, okay, this isn't— I need to do something

different. Yeah. How did you know?

Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I did what most people do when they're in health

crisis is I, I went on all the diets and

I saw all the specialists and to like rule out certain things.

And I saw all the alternative practitioners and the

naturopaths and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I still felt

terrible, honestly. Symptoms would go away for a little bit and then come

back. And then my mom sent me a podcast and it was called The

Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs.

And I listened to one episode of this podcast and by the end of the

podcast, I was symptom-free from listening to a podcast.

And I know that sounds nuts and it felt nuts, but

I was like, oh my goodness. Something's happening here.

And that's when I recognized that I had a mind-body disorder and

that there was nothing physically wrong with me. And just

knowing that that was real and that was true and that was a possibility

gave my nervous system enough safety for the first time in I don't even know

how long to turn off all those alarm signals that have been causing my

symptoms. Was there anything particular in her

podcast that she said or that was covered

that made you have that lightbulb moment? I don't know if there was like

a specific phrase or anything, but it was, um,

it was just like realizing there was nothing wrong with me, I think.

And understanding that how the nervous system works

and realizing that it was actually doing what it was supposed to be doing in

order to keep me alive, basically.

That was what really made me feel like a sense of

safety in my body. Okay. And I settled.

Yeah. And then the symptoms all came back. Yeah. How long did you

say it came back? I would say it lasted a few days

where I was just like free. Like I was like, I'm gonna go for a

run. I'm gonna eat a piece of cake.

I was so excited. But then yeah, as soon as life hit again

and stressors started to come back, my nervous system kicked back into

old familiar patterns. Yeah. But it was a, it was a starting

point. Light for me, and it opened up like this Pandora's box of possibility. And

I mean, understandably, I went down the rabbit hole

and I started learning everything I could possibly learn about the nervous system.

Um, I, I would say I was probably about 85%

healed within 3 months. Wow. Give or

take. Um, which was like a whole new lease on life.

Did you do any courses or one-to-one therapy, or what did

you find? Or is it just more listening or reading? What did you find helpful

for you? So I started with just like absorbing as much information

as I could on the subject. I listened to endless amounts of that

podcast, The Cure for Chronic Pain. I found the work of

Dr.— not doctor, he's not a doctor, he's a therapist— Alan Gordon

and Ilan Ziv. They have a book called The Way Out and a

podcast called Tell Me About Your Pain. And that was like massive

for me, that podcast. And I found the work

of Rebecca Tolin. I did a little bit of her course.

At the time there was a business called Somia International. They've

changed, or no, they were, they're Somia International at the time. They were CFS

School, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome School, by Jen Mann and Cardin

Rabin. So I did some of their course and then I got

certified. I became a somatic practitioner and nervous system

coach. So I did a whole bunch of learning and courses on

that. And yeah, here I am.

Turned your struggles and your pain into a career, really. I

mean, it's not my main career, but it's certainly—

yeah, but it's— yeah, I do see clients one-to-one, um,

and I love that, and I, I probably always will because

sharing what I learned feels so good. But actually,

it's starting to beautifully translate into another world,

into the world of, um, Phyllis Table. Which is fascinating

to watch how the nervous system affects every part

of life and how it factors so deeply

into community building. Yeah. You

mentioned that a lot of the podcasts and books that you read were related to

chronic pain. Where did you feel pain when your nervous system

was activated? Well, I've kind of everywhere,

to be honest. The worst was like the— yeah, I mean,

there was a lot of specific places I had like facial pain, I had

ear pain, throat pain. I had neck pain at one point. I had back pain

at one point, jaw pain. It was mostly focused

up here. Okay. Yeah.

And was there anything in particular along your

journey of learning that you find you still use today that's very

helpful to you? Oh yes, absolutely.

I think probably the number one tool that I use is called somatic

tracking. And I was first exposed to that through

that Tell Me About Your Pain podcast. And it is so

relevant for everything in life, not necessarily

just pain, but for sensations and uncomfortable

sensations and emotions in general. Yeah, really cool. But there are

so many things that I learned along the way that I've taken with me and

that are part of my toolkit now. Super. Tell me a little bit more

about somatic tracking for those listeners who haven't heard of that concept

before. Oh, okay. How do I start? I just, when I get

into somatics, I just want to like explain the whole nervous system. I get

really carried away. I'm so passionate about it,

but essentially the idea of somatic tracking is

locating an uncomfortable sensation. Does

actually, it doesn't even have to be uncomfortable, but for the purposes of what we're

talking about now, locating an uncomfortable sensation in your body

and following it, getting to know it, understanding it,

and just watching it from a place of kind of curiosity rather

than fear. It's incredible to see what comes

out of it. Like, it seems so simple, but it really— it

makes a big difference. Yeah, it does. And it's quite a new

feel in terms of mind-body connection and can be really helpful in trauma work as

well too. Throughout this whole process,

was there a moment where you felt like you didn't recognize yourself

anymore, like you felt completely lost, like you had no direction?

Oh, a long moment. Yes.

A big, big giant moment.

Um, I would say probably that, that 18-month period

from when my second son was born on was probably,

yeah, that it was an 18-month moment. Yeah.

Plus some, probably some scattering. Very possible.

Yeah. And there has been, I won't lie, like ups and downs and there have

been big moments where I have felt that again since then. Like it's not a

linear process at all. Yeah. Um, I have

had a lot of setbacks, but I know now that I have the

resources to come back again, so it's not nearly as

devastating. Yeah. Do you have any specific red flags that

you recognize in yourself that help you kind of take the foot off the pedal

and be like, okay, I've got a little bit too much, or

my jar is about to overflow? Yeah. For me,

because the physical symptoms were so big, those are kind of my telltale

signs. I always start to get ear pain. Ear pain is my first tell

that, that I'm overly stressed, um, and

insomnia, probably, like not being able to sleep because my brain's just like rolling

like crazy. Yeah. And then what are the

tools that you tend to connect to when you pick up on the ear pain

or the mind wandering? Yeah, so somatic tracking

is my go-to. Um, I love to use a technique called pendulation,

which is essentially like focusing on— I mean, I'm sure

you're familiar with these, but, um, it's focusing on the uncomfortable

sensation and then resourcing a positive sensation in the body and kind of

between the two. And then my other

most used would probably be like intuitive

movement or shaking. So I think that one of the most

powerful tools in somatic work is movement,

and it can feel really uncomfortable to allow your body

to move in ways that don't feel familiar,

but to allow energy to move through the body that way

is like super, super powerful. So often when I'm having a

time that feels challenging, I I will commit for like a

single song. That's my container, one song at first, so it doesn't feel too

overwhelming. I roll out a yoga mat, yoga mat, and I just let

my body move in the way that it's telling me to. That's

beautiful. Yeah, it can be— our bodies are often ahead of our minds.

Um, and so we'll get signals from our bodies like you were saying, and

then you can try to use, you know, accessing your thoughts and

working on those, but oftentimes You'll need to work on the body,

get outta your head and work on the body. Yeah. It's the foundation. Absolutely.

Yep. And I do wanna name too that like there are a lot of seasons

when I am having those kind of cues come

up that something is wrong, that I'm feeling dysregulated for a long amount of time

and I don't do the work, you know? Yeah. Like even as somebody who is

a somatic practitioner and somebody who's been doing this for a long time now,

right? Sometimes I ignore it. And I don't do the work and I lay in

my bed instead and I watch Netflix and like, that's probably not

always the right choice. Actually, it's definitely not always the right choice, but sometimes they

just, that's the way it is. Cause that's life. And eventually I find my way

back. And sometimes you do need to give yourself

permission to pause like that and just lay in bed. And I

think a lot of times in ambitious people like yourselves, these

feelings of guilt will come up when you're trying to take your foot off the

pedal and rest and It's okay to give

yourself permission to not use the tool and just

watch. As soon as it becomes a job, it's also just like

no longer like effective. I always say that to my clients. I'm always like, if

there's a should or a need attached to it, please don't do it.

If you can't approach it with a sense of curiosity and maybe even playfulness,

then don't do it. Or that's

regulation. Yeah. Is there anything else you'd

like to share for our listeners, for any maybe mom who's

pregnant or someone who's got in the throes of it, who's

struggling, that might give them a breath of fresh

air or a bit of hope?

Just because of my personal experience, I'd say like, look into the nervous system,

start learning about your nervous system, however that might look, whether

it's a book, and I have lots of resources that I can share,

or a podcast, or if you want to talk to a

somatic practitioner, even just like a discovery call.

Um, yeah, just start educating yourself a little bit about how the nervous system works,

because like I said, like even just having that information

can create such a lovely felt sense of safety. That can be a great

starting point. Thank you for that. I'm going to finish with the

quote that you sent me, which I absolutely love,

um, and I think speaks to to, you know, your ethos and how you

run multiple aspects of your life. Enter through

the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But

small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life,

and only a few find it. So thank you for sharing that with

us. Thank you. That's from the Book of Matthew in the Bible. It's

such a cool— I probably couldn't think of that. But it is. It's

beautiful, isn't it? Yeah. And something that everyone can

take with them and interpret in their own light. So

the good stuff is on the other side of challenge. All of it. It is.

Yeah. And there's so much to be gained from the work. And

I think you provide so much to our community in all the different facets

of your work. And so if someone is listening and hasn't heard about

somatic therapy, I invite you to explore it further. And

I'll include some of the resources that Kayla mentioned so that

you can explore them. Take care, everyone. Yeah, thank you.