In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life.

We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.

These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey.

Key Takeaways

Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.

Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.

Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.

Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.

Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.

Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.

Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.

Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.

Mentioned in This Episode

Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:

• Visual timers
• Laminated visual timetables
• Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing
• U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush
• Ear defenders
• Bach's Rescue Remedy
• Orange Essential Oil
• Tiger balm
• The Early Bird course by the National Autistic Society
• Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback

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Hello and welcome to the Autism Moms podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips, shared strength and expert advice, whether you are celebrating a win.

Surviving a meltdown or just trying to make it through the day. We are right here with you. Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion: Hello and welcome to the podcast. Today we're going to talk about ways you can support your autistic child with day-to-day life.

And I reeled off a load of stuff and it just got me thinking this would be a good thing to share.

Victoria Bennion: 'cause you've been dealing with this now for a few years,

Natalie Tealdi: I think it's four years probably since we started getting help.

Victoria Bennion: so we pick up tips, that we can certainly share things that work for us that are not obviously gonna work for everybody, but they might give you a starting point some things that you can try.

Natalie Tealdi: Definitely. So one of the big things for us is our son really struggles with transitions particularly when he was younger and he wasn't able to voice his frustrations so well, it all came out inside of behaviors instead of words. One of the things that was suggested to me was visual timetables.

You've got 20 minutes, that means nothing to them. They dunno what that means. So it is really good to see that visual counting down. And you can when it gets closer, you can say, oh look, we've only got a few minutes left. And we found that really helped reduce an anxiety. When we're trying to move on to something else.

With the visual timetables. They are, it's like a time, it's just like a laminated piece of paper really, that we use. And you can stick lots of pictures on it. So you can say, breakfast, games tv. Then we're gonna go in the car, then they're gonna go to the park, then we're gonna go in the car and go home and you can break down their day.

Victoria Bennion: No. And we don't have that. My mine is quite glad when it's the holidays. But we also use the timer that you talked about. It's just I think we have the same one, don't we? It's just, it is not expensive off Amazon. I'll see if we can find it and put a link, because I find, so my son, I don't, he doesn't struggle in quite the same way, but.

Sometimes if there's something that he needs to do like shower, it can be helpful to say to him to give him a choice. Like you can either shower now or you can shower. Later you choose and just to make that basic choice so he doesn't feel he has no choice in the matter or something that's hard.

'cause he knows that's coming up and he knows and he'll go and get in the shower he's slightly older, he's 10. So I dunno if that makes the difference, but we find that a really useful tool for so many things that, little timer counting down.

Natalie Tealdi: I'm only guessing here, but I think it takes away a sort of surprise element to them. If you suddenly announce okay, it's time to go, they're like, whoa, what, where's that come from? 'cause I dunno about you, but my son doesn't always hear what we're saying all the time.

So we can say, oh, we're going out. Later, and it might go completely over his head, but if you put a timer in front of him, it, it concentrates his mind. Which makes it easier for him,

Victoria Bennion: I think that's a good tip.

We've realized this has taken quite a long time to understand that it is actually layers upon layers. I think it's the different materials rubbing together. He does not like that. Like he won't wear pajamas in bed because he doesn't like the feel of pajamas or the duvet on top. So he's will usually only wear one layer.

Doesn't like to wear jumpers. So wintertime can be tricky. 'cause I think also there's a temperature element there as well. I don't think he necessarily realizes when it's cold he has to be reminded to wear a coat and things like that. So we deal with that by looking for really soft fabrics, looking for things that don't have too many seams or labels, that kind of thing.

My son is more sensitive to the cold. He feels the cold. But in the same way, he does go for the soft materials. He's much more comfortable in. He likes a really soft dressing gown, for example. Or he has things like fleece lined, jogging bottoms for the school that he goes to.

'cause it's on a farm. So he is outside quite a lot, but he needs to be warm. If he's not warm, he'd rather be too warm than cold. 'cause if he's cold, he starts to, not want

Natalie Tealdi: get dysregulated

Victoria Bennion: Get dysregulated if he's cold. Yeah. So it's more about bundling him up. And he really liked soft pajamas.

under a fluffy blanket.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, we have that too.

we're just taking everything off. Sitting around in his pants. I did negotiate for boxer many years ago. Yeah. I was like the boxer shorts they have to

Victoria Bennion: stay.

Natalie Tealdi: I know it could be a freezing cold day But whatever they need. Another thing is teeth cleaning. And I think you might struggle with this too.

Some find it really difficult to clean his teeth. He just hates it, hates the whole sensation. We have been through so many different toothpastes. You can get ones that aren't flavored at all. You try different ones that aren't supposed to foam We've settled on, he will now use minty toothpaste like us. But he does have two special toothbrushes.

So one of the ones we've got is, this like a U Shape

He doesn't like to do it himself. He occasionally will that's something we'll work on. But yeah, those things have helped

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, we have real struggles around toothbrushing It's that. I think it's the brush, the bristles, the brush it going in your mouth. I have to allow half an hour, I would say usually. Not that it always takes that long, but it can do to work up to being able to brush the teeth.

Natalie Tealdi: It's all about picking your

Victoria Bennion: So we brush before bed. But actually as I say, it can take a long time to work up to with those anxieties and everything has to be perfect. He has to. Be in the right position. Everything needs to be as he needs it to do it. And I do it for him. He can't contemplate doing it himself at the moment, so I brush around them.

They are looking so much better though than they were

Victoria Bennion: Even if it's gone the day before, it doesn't mean. That it will the next day. He doesn't think okay it, it doesn't seem to be like, oh, that's getting easier.

It's still, it depends on how he's feeling on that day, at that time. If the rest of the day is going well, then it's gonna be easier. If it's been a trickier day, then the toothbrushing is gonna be that thing that is too much.

Natalie Tealdi: Hopefully that helps. Visiting places is another thing. If we're going for a day out. We try to plan as much as we can ahead. So that's researching. If we can, jump cues. If it's like a theme park type thing.

Victoria Bennion: my son, started off wearing them at school, and I do wonder if he got self-conscious about it So he would bring a phone with music and headphones because he didn't want to wear ear defenders. He hasn't used that too much? In recent months, but for a while that was absolutely key.

Music gives another focus as well. And it was something that the autism specialist that he worked with at first School suggested to try music and music of his choice. 'cause actually there was some debate 'cause that at the time was gonna be used to help him access the classroom.

And last year when we went on holiday, it was the autism specialist who said. Make sure he's well prepared. So we actually had an itinerary for every day we were there. So no, no room for spontaneity at all.

We went through it. This is what we're doing, this is what when we're eating, this is all that. And then he went, okay, I can eat my breakfast now. And then he was able to move forward. So I think is, you shouldn't underestimate

how useful those tools are, even though they take time.

Natalie Tealdi: They seem so simple, don't they? Just A few pictures. But I really do think they make such a big difference when they can see it all mapped out like that. It, I dunno. It helps calm

Victoria Bennion: Definitely.

Natalie Tealdi: The other thing is sunflower lanyards so either your child wears some or you do just to, you're visiting places.

'cause it is something they look for. And they can give

you assistance

if you need it.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, we found that really helpful Again, when we were traveling

at the airports.

Both ends actually, it got recognized and we didn't have to queue so long 'cause it's a very challenging environment in an airport for a lot of children. We were taken to a quieter space and moved through quicker,

I Keep it in

Keep it in the bag,

We both have a bag, for our children with fidget toys and snacks and the lanyards

If my son, if he's feeling really anxious, he almost wants to disappear. So if things are really bad, we have one of those in there. We also keep, those Covid masks. He's got very sensitive smell and. We've arrived at our restaurant before pizza.

Victoria Bennion: Hut. It was someone's birthday, so he'd managed that and then they were gonna have pizzas, which to my son is just appalling. He hates. pieces, but he really wanted to go. As we walked through the doors, I remember him like recoiling going, oh, it smells so bad.

that he can use to

mask other

smells. So they're very key in our bag. But I think again, it was, we only, the Early Birds course that's run by the autistic society, that was one of the things the trainer recommended, just having a bag ready to go. And I find that he also has this sense of security and having his red bag with

him. , and I know that most. Things that we could need

are gonna be in that bag.

Along with rescue

Remedy,

The gummies, he finds them helpful in in stressful situations or if he's getting

overwhelmed,

Natalie Tealdi: We have the

Stretchy bands

because our son really likes that feedback he likes to hit and these can be quite good. If he's just sitting in a car or something getting frustrated,

Victoria Bennion: Hope these tips have been useful. We will add links to the show notes to some of the items in case they're useful

until next time. Take care.