Navigating divorce can be complex. Get your frequent queries answered directly by Jonathan Breeden, an experienced divorce attorney, in our latest episode of The Best of Johnston County Podcast.

Jonathan Breeden: Yes, a couple can negotiate their own settlement agreement and we actually strongly encourage couples to sit down and see if they can come to a settlement themselves. I do believe that if they have reached an agreement that they should employ a lawyer to represent one, not both of them in getting that agreement signed, written up into a formal separation agreement, a formal contract.

that has consideration and all the things you need to have a valid contract because we see a lot and consideration is there has to be a bargain for exchange. in a contract to make it valid. So if I give you a dollar in exchange for the dollar, you give me a cup of coffee that makes a binding contract because in separation agreements, that's not always the way this is going to work.

Jonathan Breeden: Hello and welcome to another episode of the best of johnson county podcast. I'm your host, Jonathan Breeden. And today we're going to have a special episode where I'm going to answer some questions from Raina Birch who's our social media coordinator here at the Breeden Law Office. About some questions that we often get here in our office.

And so that's, what's going to happen here. I do not know what these questions are going to be. I'm a little nervous about that. But we'll see how it goes. I feel like I probably know the answers since these are common questions that are asked in my office, even I don't know what they are. And we'll go from there.

So hopefully y'all will enjoy learning a little bit about the questions that were asked in divorce and a divorce lawyer's office on a somewhat regular basis. Welcome Raina. Thanks a lot. Thank you.

Raina: All right. You're ready. I'm ready to get right into it. Okay. Okay. Can a couple negotiate their own settlement agreement?

that has consideration and all the things you need to have a valid contract because we see a lot and consideration is there has to be a bargain for exchange. in a contract to make it valid. So if I give you a dollar in exchange for the dollar, you give me a cup of coffee that makes a binding contract because in separation agreements, that's not always the way this is going to work.

The consideration really is the end of the marriage. When people do these sort of We're going to write it out on a napkin which I've seen, or we're going to, we're just going to write out on a yellow pad on the kitchen table, they don't always make sure that there's the consideration is listed in the contract, which can make it invalid.

We'll tell you what we think and if everybody agrees, we'll be glad to write it up for you. Awesome.

Raina: Okay. Next one. How can an attorney help me with domestic violence allegations?

Jonathan Breeden: Well, I guess the first question is it allegations against you? Like somebody who's accusing you of committing domestic violence or you're a victim of domestic violence?

Raina: I think somebody is accusing

Jonathan Breeden: you of domestic violence. Accusing you of domestic violence. Okay. Well, if you've been accused of domestic violence there's several things.

If you're convicted of assault on a female, it's a It's an A1 misdemeanor, it's sort of an aggravated misdemeanor in North Carolina, and you can get five months in prison for that, and so you definitely, if you've been charged with a crime, you need a criminal defense lawyer to be able to advise you of your rights and make sure that your rights are protected in the criminal sense.

If you've been accused of domestic violence. What we see the most in our office is their allegations of domestic violence, and the other side is going and taking out a domestic violence restraining order against you, which is called, in short terms, a 50B restraining order. It's under North Carolina General Statutes 50B.

Those orders, while they are entered ex parte, meaning the defendant didn't have any say in what happens and it can put them out of their house and take their car away and right. You can't see their kids or a lot of things, a very powerful order that a domestic violence protective order. Can be entered and you didn't have any say in it at all.

The good thing is if you've been accused, it's only good for 10 days. And so there's going to be a hearing in front of a judge within 10 days. In Johnston County and in Hornet County, those hearings are on Fridays. And in Wake County, they're every day of the week. And you know, so you have to react quickly because they're only good for 10 days.

Not that it wasn't. Maybe domestic violence or something that happened, but you know, it has to be kind of bad to be able to get a restraining order. You have to place the person in reasonable fear for their safety. There has to be an act of domestic violence. You have to cause so much emotional abuse that they're having physical symptoms of illness and stuff like that.

Now if you've been charged with a crime and a restraining order, you know, you probably want a different attorney for each one. The standard of proof is different. The advice you may get is different but you definitely want both of your attorneys sort of working together because anything you say and can say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

And that restraining order is going to come on for hearing a lot faster than the criminal case. And you have the right to to remain silent in the restraining order case. And so they can't compel you to testify, but they don't have to give you a continuance. And so if you're unable to testify, then it may very well get granted so that you remain that right to remain silent.

Raina: Yeah. Anything you say in a court, it's public record, so

Jonathan Breeden: Right. And in and in a civil courtroom in North Carolina, it's recorded.

Yes.

Raina: Okay, next one. What do I need to do to get ready for my court hearing?

Jonathan Breeden: Well, it would depend on what kind of court hearing you're having. But in general, regardless of what kind of court hearing it is, to get ready, you need to make sure that you've met with your attorney and y'all have a plan or strategy for what you're going to do in whatever type of hearing you're going to have.

Make sure that. If it's a custody hearing or a child support hearing or anything with the finances, post separation support that you've completed your financial affidavit and you've given your attorney the supporting documents so they could make it in to exhibit and exhibit binders to be able to show to the court and to the opposing party so that you can go through.

You want to make sure you know where the courthouse is. You know where the parking at the courthouse is, you know how long it takes to park and walk to the courthouse, particularly in Wake County. You may have to park several blocks away and you'd be dealing with a lot of traffic. You don't really have traffic in Lillington and Smithfield but, you know, you want to make sure you know where the courthouse is.

If it's known before you get there. which courtroom number it is. So you can go to that courtroom. You could be on time. You know, and not everybody has to be there right when the court starts. If your hearing is going to be at two o'clock and court starts at nine, you talk to your lawyer, you might not be there at nine.

And you know, and if you're going to be called to testify, depending on what kind of hearing it is. You know, know kind of what you want to say stick to the facts, don't get into the emotions of, you know, why you hate your spouse or whatever, like you need to stick to the facts, like, like, you know, just stick to the facts as to what happened is that will support whatever case you have and the law you want the court to apply to ruling your favor.

Okay.

Raina: And I think something else I was told one time

Jonathan Breeden: was,

Raina: Just how your demeanor while court's happening, while you're sitting there, like don't be making faces or anything like that. Like kind of keep it as neutral as

Jonathan Breeden: possible, Right. The judge sees all of that Right. And don't react, right? Yes.

And you know, and the courts, you know, and while your case is unique to you and it is very important to you. I highly doubt that any judge, when they hear your case, is going to be looking at a fact pattern they have not seen or heard hundreds of times before and probably heard that debt. I mean, you know, divorces, separations, the causes of them.

The root causes, the underlying cause of what, why people get separated and divorced, you know, they're, often very similar and you know, how it affects your particular children and what the court should do, what's in their best interest or in your financial situation, it would be child support, that is unique, but the underlying facts are going to be similar to other cases.

The truth is often in the middle because everybody's telling their version of it, which is perfectly fine. Three sides to every story. There is three sides to every story. What's that country music song? Like where they're talking about breaking up and they're singing the song. And you know, he's like, We both know that, we both know the truth, so let's not go out and just tell some story that's not true or something.

You don't lie on me, I won't lie on you, I think, are the lyrics of that song, right?

Raina: Right, yeah. So, anyway. That's, yeah, country music, man. It's always true.

Raina: Alright, so, next one. What do, oh, never mind. What's the difference between an at fault or contested divorce versus a no fault or uncontested

Jonathan Breeden: divorce?

Okay, well, in North Carolina, there's only one kind of divorce, and that is a no fault divorce. You know, other states, California and stuff, they have these fault divorces and the other. In North Carolina, It's a no fault state. So, the only way to get divorced in North Carolina is to live separate and apart from your spouse for 365 days with the intent of one of the two spouses for the separation to be permanent and you not get back together.

The, you know, when you hear contested or uncontested, what I hear is, do the parties have an agreement on the underlying issues as it relates to the property, the custody, the child support, the post separation support? And the Alamo. Okay. If there is some complete agreement on that, that can either be wrapped into a separation agreement, or they just don't do any agreement at all.

And they just get divorced and everything sort of stays where it is. And they come to some verbal agreement about who's going to pay what if you think the other person can do it, then that's kind of uncontested or actually. You know, when you think about it, when you think about the divorce and in North Carolina is a bifurcated state.

It's not going to take you but a couple of hours. And I go through all of this in the book where we talk about that North Carolina is a bifurcated state where each issue in the divorce is a separate standalone issue where in almost every other state. When you say divorce, that includes property, that includes children, that includes child support, that includes alimony.

That is not the case in North Carolina. In North Carolina, the way I try to explain it to people is, all of these issues are battles in the war. And when all the battles are over, Whether they are settled or their fault and the judge makes a decision, the war ends. So, child custody is a battle. Child support is a battle.

. And you know, if any of those issues are contested, then to me that is a contested quote unquote divorce. They mean the divorce itself Yeah. Is probably gonna be uncontested because it's rare that you disagree whether you've been separated a year and a day. Right. So, but all these other things. Is where people spend a lot of time fighting and that's where it's kind of contested.

Be glad to get anybody a copy of the book. I've got some blog posts on my website. We'll be trying to talk about this very issue. There are other videos on my YouTube page. You may be seeing this on my YouTube page that answer some of these questions. So we have plenty of information out there, but everybody, you know, don't make any decision unless you have the information that you need, you know, an uninformed decision.

Is not going to be the best decision because you can only make decisions based on the information you have. So you should gather as much information as possible before you make a decision. I agree

Raina: with that. Alright, last one.

Jonathan Breeden: You ready? Okay, last one. Okay.

Raina: How do I find the right family law attorney for

Jonathan Breeden: me?

I would search the internet. I would talk to friends and see if you can get referrals from any friends or family that have had um, Good experience. I think the Google reviews that you see out there, we have lots and lots of five star Google reviews, which we're very, very thankful for.

You could definitely look at those reviews and see what other people with similar situations had experiences there and then, you know, and then I would narrow it down. You know, I would look and, you know, I would look and see and maybe bear it down to one or two, maybe three. And then I would call their offices and schedule a consultation and go in and say, I want to meet with one of the attorneys and get a feel for the place and see, Can I book an appointment within a month?

So, I mean, that's important. When you call their office, are they able to systematically build a relationship with you and get your information and book you a time and send you the follow up information that you need and a questionnaire and stuff like that? You know, is that systematic? Are they, do they act, do they sound like they care on the phone about you?

Or are they just answering the phone? Law office. Like, you know what I mean? You call the green law office. You're going to, you're going to get up, you're going to get up, you're going to get a five star experience where people care about you. They want to build a relationship with you. They're going to make it as smooth as possible.

I mean, it could last particularly in Wake County. It's nothing for divorce last more than 2 years. Yeah, I mean, I mean, Wake County could go forever. And even in Johnson Hornet with the backups now, you know, these cases can go for. 12, 18 months. And so it's going to be a long time. You know, you know, you feel comfortable.

Do you feel like you were listened to? You feel like your questions were answered. Do you feel like, do they know the answers to your questions? You know, those types of things. Can you afford the attorney that you're meeting with? Because you know, the initial payment, unless you're paying a flat Which we don't do here at Breenwall, but some firms do, is only going to be the beginning.

But if everybody can sort of check their emotions to the side, start focusing on their future and what their future is going to look like and get there. You know, it might not be as expensive. You'll be able to move on with your life a little bit quicker. But yeah, so I would say is. Do your homework, look at their training experience.

Read the reviews, ask friends and family for referrals, go and meet with one or two of them, see how long it takes to get in, see how responsive they are. Even after the consultation, they follow up with you. Do you, they send you emails, you know, that kind of stuff, because I can tell you that whatever experience you have.

It's a month to a consult. That's what it's going to be throughout the process. And I don't know that's you should want, but you just need to know, but you're not, I tell my children, I tell my friends, I've told you Raina this before. You do not have unique experiences with people. You just don't.

The experiences you have with people are the experiences that other people are having with those same people. You do not have a unique experience with business, right? Your experience of a business is often the same experience other people are having with the business, which is why those five star reviews that we have on all four of our Google My Business pages are so valuable and we have so many, and we're so proud of all of them because those people.

You need to be comfortable in your church. You need to be comfortable in your relationship. You need to be comfortable in your job and you definitely need to be comfortable with your divorce attorney. Yeah, because you might be spending a lot of time with them. Correct. And paying them a lot of money. And you need to trust them because ultimately, you really probably should listen to their advice based on their training experience when they tell you this is a reasonable settlement.

Raina: Yeah, well, and I think that's probably why I go into, you know, at least a couple of attorneys at the very beginning just to see, okay, are they, being truthful with me? Are they being honest? Are they just telling me what I want to hear so that I'll come back and keep

Jonathan Breeden: paying them? Well, yeah, you never know.

These things are to be assumed. This could be a likely successful outcome. I like it. Okay. Well, that's all I have. Well, thank you. Thank you So anyway, if y'all have enjoyed this, Special edition of the best of johnson county podcast that we're calling ask jonathan breeden anything make sure that you subscribe Like or follow this podcast wherever you are listening, whether it be on apple spotify youtube So that you'll be made aware of future episodes when they are posted every week, which include lots of interviews with lots of community leaders and business leaders here in Johnston County.

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That's the end of today's episode of Best of Johnston County, a show brought to you by the trusted team at Breeden Law Office. We thank you for joining us today and we look forward to sharing more interesting facets of this community next week. Every story, every viewpoint adds another thread to the rich tapestry of Johnston County.

If the legal aspects highlighted raised some questions, help is just around the corner at www. breedenfirm. com.