In this episode of “Life is a Circus”, host Stacy Yardley shares her journey of overcoming self doubt after being fired from the circus for not meeting show weight standards. Through heartbreak and personal reflection, she discovered the truth of her worth and how healing led to self mastery. Tune in as Stacy explores the power of self love, recognizing your inherent worth, and stepping boldly into your dreams. This episode will inspire you to embrace your value and pursue your goals unapologetically.

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Stacy Yardley is a Certified Life Coach and Transformation Catalyst specializing in guiding women in business to create more joy, self fulfillment, and satisfied life. Her work includes working with high performance women to create better boundaries, release perfectionism and breakthrough imposter syndrome through self mastery. Drawing from her experience as a former professional circus showgirl, Stacy is passionate about empowering individuals to realize their dreams and unlock their inner potential. Through empathy and intuitive guidance, Stacy helps women harness their personal power to achieve greater well-being and thrive in all aspects of their lives. Based in Vancouver, WA, Stacy enjoys exploring hiking trails, preparing fresh vegan meals, and cherishing moments with loved ones in her free time.  

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What if I told you that no matter what you've been through, no matter how many times you've been told you're not enough, you've always been worthy? Today, I'm sharing a story that took me years to understand, a journey from rejection and self doubt to finally realizing my worth. And here's the thing. It's not just my story. It's yours, too. So let's dive in and talk about how to claim your worth and step boldly into the dreams you've been holding back on. Welcome to life as a circus. So let's step into self mastery, where we explore the balancing act of unlocking your inner potential while navigating life's chaos. I'm Stacy Yardley, your host.

A former circus showgirl turned transformational life coach. If you're juggling multiple roles or responsibilities and feeling like life is a circus, you are in the right place. Join me each week for captivating tales from my circus days and insights on realizing your dreams. Whether you're an entrepreneur, business owner, or an aspiring leader, this podcast is your guide to self mastery. So grab your top hat and let's step into the greatest show of all, the circus of life. Ready to embark on this transformative journey together? Let's begin. I was just 18 years old when I joined the greatest show on earth. A young woman with a dream in my heart and hope in my spirit, I got on an airplane and flew across the country to join a three ring world of adventure, excitement, homesickness, and heartbreak.

Just two weeks before leaving, I was terrified of not being enough. I wrote in my journal, I'm scared sometimes. I'm afraid that I'm going to fail. You know, I just get scared of being rejected. Like, I get scared they're going to say, you need to lose weight or you're out. Little did I know. 345 days later that's exactly what happened. First I was fined for not meeting unrealistic show weight standards that were set for me.

Then I was docked from performing. Then I was fired. And while I had wonderful support around me that got me through it at the time, the effect of that experience left a mark on my soul. It wasn't just about being fired. It was the deep sense of rejection that influenced me for years. Following that experience, I questioned my worth, my ability, and even my place in the world. It also sent me on a trajectory where I would continue chasing my own unrealistic expectations of what I should look like. I spent years trapped in the never ending cycle of yo yo dieting and hustling for my worth, I acted in ways that continued to harm my spirit as I failed to love myself in the ways that I needed to in order to escape the trappings of low self esteem and low self worth.

But what I didn't realize at the time was amidst the pain that I experienced, something remarkable awaited me. One day in the year following my departure from the circus, I received a letter in the mail from one of my fellow showgirls who was still on the show. Enclosed there was a photo that left me in awe. It was a photograph of the new giant 42 by 22 foot mural painting that was displayed in the lobby of the circus headquarters. On it were various performers portrayed along with lions, tigers, horses, elephants, and dogs. Legends from the greatest show on earth were also included, from the famous clown Lou Jacobs to our beloved animal trainer, Gunther Gable Williams. Even the famous elephant known as King Tusk was a part of the giant mural. And sitting on top of him was a beautiful showgirl.

That showgirl is me. I couldn't believe it. I was now immortalized in this historic painting by the renowned artist William Woodward. That gigantic mural painting has since been donated to the Ringley Museum of Art in Sarasota, Florida, where thousands of visitors see it every year. This discovery that I was on the mural was a moment that left me feeling both proud and ashamed as I recalled over and over again how it all ended. The message was clear as mud for me here. I had been let go for what appeared to be because of my physical appearance. And yet I was immortalized on a painting to be forever displayed as an iconic image of beauty and wonder.

Talk about a mind fuck. As the years progressed on, I would share this fun bit of trivia, mostly as a way of making interesting conversations when meeting new people or sharing stories over the bar top. When I was a bartender in an upscale restaurant, I'd also talk about the dream of one day writing a book to tell my story to the world. The problem was, I never knew what the point of telling my story would be. Was it just to share my heartbreak and rejection with the reader? But why? I mean, that just didn't feel right to me. It didn't feel empowering nor inspiring. I didn't want to live in the story that I was a victim of corporate greed and discrimination. And yet that's what it felt like for a very long time.

So I stayed silent. The truth is, I needed to heal. I needed to uncover the purpose behind my journey. I had to figure out what the point of it all was before I could actually talk about it. And I couldn't do that until I figured out how to heal the pain that was caused from being fired. Healing became my priority. It wasn't until decades later that I would finally understand what it was all about. And once I did, everything changed.

The clarity came in an unexpected moment. I had decided to speak at a storytelling event in January of 2020. I wanted to tell my story for the first time to a small, intimate crowd of roughly 30 to 40 women. Even though I felt like I still wasn't totally clear on what the point of telling my story was, I decided to take the leap and do the best I could to speak my truth. And while the event went great and I was applauded for my efforts, I left that event still feeling like I didn't understand what the point was that could come from my story and how it could help others. Then, that night of the storytelling event, in the early morning hours of about 03:00 a.m. I woke up and unable to sleep, I decided to have a very personal conversation with my higher power about it all. It was through that conversation that I received a download like never before, and I wept as I let the truth of the message seep deep into my soul and my spirit.

I heard the message because you are worthy. You deserved to be there. You have always been worthy regardless of what others said about you, you are worthy. Regardless of what you think about yourself, you are worthy. Nothing you do or don't do changes that. And I, the God of the universe, say it is so. This is your message for others, too, that they are worthy of pursuing their dreams, just like you are worthy of pursuing yours. And that was it.

It was at that moment that I really understood what it was all for. I was given this opportunity not just to learn this truth about myself, but to use my platform and my power of influence, whatever it may be, to share with others that they are worthy of pursuing their dreams, too. But here's the thing. I wasn't ready to receive that message until I had gone through the hard work of healing. For years. I carried around this deep sense of unworthiness, always feeling like I was chasing something, but never quite reaching it. I would get so frustrated with myself, I'd ask, what's the point of all this pain? What am I supposed to learn from this rejection? Even though I knew there had to be a reason, I couldn't see it, and the reason for that, I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't at the level of awareness I needed to understand the lesson that was right in front of me.

Healing didn't really begin until 2010. And even then, it took another decade to fully grasp just how important it was for me to learn to deeply love myself. Ten years of doing inner work, of peeling back layers, of confronting my own shame, my patterns of self sabotage, and finally learning what it really meant to value who I am. Not based on my body, not based on external validation, but based on the truth of my worthiness as a human being. When we talk about healing, it's easy to think it's a one time thing, like flipping a switch. But healing is a process, a journey that unfolds over time. For me, it was years of undoing the damage caused by years of self rejection and external expectations. And one of the biggest lessons I learned through this process is that healing doesn't happen on our timeline.

It happens when we're ready to receive the lessons that we need. You see, I couldn't fully embrace that moment of clarity until I had learned to love myself. And that took time. It took years of learning how to be kind to myself, how to stop chasing approval, and how to let go of the toxic beliefs that I had internalized for so long. I thought self love was something that you did, a checklist of activities, like going to the spa or practicing self care. But what I learned is that true self love is a relationship with yourself. It's about giving yourself the grace, patience, and compassion to grow. It's about being willing to face the parts of yourself that you'd rather hide away and saying, you are worthy, just as you are.

And this is where self mastery comes in. Because self mastery isn't about controlling everything in your life. It's not about perfection. It's not about fixing yourself. It's about learning to master your relationship with yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, and the stories you tell yourself. For me, understanding my worthiness was the key to unlocking self mastery. Once I knew that my worth wasn't tied to anyone's opinions, not even my own critical voice, I was able to make decisions from a place of power, not fear. I realized that pursuing my dreams wasn't about proving myself to anyone.

It was about living in alignment with who I am, knowing that I am worthy of the life that I desire. That is the foundation of self mastery, recognizing that you are enough, and from that place of worthiness, making choices that honor your highest self. Now, I want to turn this on to you, because just like I discovered that my worth was never tied to my weight, my performance, or anyone's opinion, I want you to know that your worth has always been inside you, too. It's not something that you have to earn. It's not something that you have to prove. It doesn't matter what you look like, how much money you make, what job you have, or how many mistakes you think you've made. It doesn't even matter if you feel like you're damaged goods. Your worth is inherent.

You were born with it and nothing can take that away. Maybe you felt like you weren't good enough at times, that you had to hustle to prove your value and that you weren't worthy of your dreams. If that sounds familiar, I want you to take a deep breath and really let this sink in. You are worthy. Right now, right here, exactly as you are. This isn't something that you have to wait for. It's not something that will come when you lose the weight, get the job, or hit that next milestone. It's here now, and it's always been yours.

I know it's easy to get caught up in the external validation. We live in a world that often tries to tell us that we need to be more, to do more, or to look a certain way, to be accepted, to be loved, or to even matter. But I'm here to tell you that's just not true. What others think about you does not change your worth. What you think about yourself, your inner critic's loudest whispers, none of that changes the truth, that you are valuable simply because you exist. And I'm not just saying this as a feel good mantra. I'm saying this because once you truly understand your worth, everything changes. The way you show up for yourself changes.

The way you pursue your dreams changes. The way you handle setbacks and challenges. It all shifts when you know deep down that no matter what happens, you are worthy. I'm going to say it again because it's important that you really let it sink into the core of your being. You are worthy just as you are. You don't have to hustle for your worth or prove yourself to anyone, including yourself. When you embrace this truth, you unlock the ability to pursue your dreams from a place of knowing and trust that no matter what happens, you're okay. And that changes everything.

So you may be asking yourself, how, Stacey, how do I do this? Let's start simple. Start by beginning to shift your focus to embracing your worthiness. Here are some key points to recognize your value. Every single person brings something unique to the table, including you. There's only one you no one else has. Your experiences, your perceptions, or your gifts. Acknowledge your strengths and celebrate them, and continue to pour into them. Practice self compassion.

Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with some love and understanding that you'd offer a friend or a child, and challenge your negative beliefs. When those thoughts of unworthiness creep in, you've got to challenge them. Ask yourself, is this true? Often it's not, and it's rooted in fear, not reality. And then lastly, surround yourself with support. Build a circle of people who uplift you and remind you of your worth. You deserve to be around those who celebrate you. As you reflect on these points, I'd like to encourage you to take a moment to not just hear these words, but to actually take action on them.

Because action brings clarity. So here's your action plan. I want you to take a moment to think about one area in your life where you've been doubting yourself, whether it's your career, your business, relationships, health, or even a personal goal that you've been putting off. Write it down. Then next to it, write these words. I am worthy of this. I am worthy of my dreams. This week, take one intentional step toward that goal, believing that you are already worthy of achieving it.

Whether it's sending an email, making a phone call, or just scheduling time to work on it. Do it with the understanding that you deserve to make progress, not because you need to prove anything, but because you are worth it. And if you're stuck, need support, or want to dive deeper into these topics, I'd love for you to join me for centering conversations of backstage paths to life as a circus. It's a special event where we go behind the scenes, answer your questions, and have real conversations about life, self mastery, and everything in between. You can sign up using the link in the show notes, and I'd love to see you there, whether it's for an upcoming event or one in the future. In closing, here's the truth I want you to carry with you from here. You are enough, just as you are. Your worth isn't something you need to earn.

It's not something you have to hustle for. And it's not based on anyone else's opinion of you. And it's not something that can be taken away from you either. It's inherent, it's unshakable, and it's yours. Every single one of us walks through life with dreams, fears and challenges. But remember, your dreams were given to you for a reason, and you are inherently worthy of pursuing them. Not tomorrow, not one day, when you feel ready right now. So as you go about your day, your week and your life.

Keep this in mind. No matter what challenges you face, no matter what setbacks or doubts creep in, you are worthy. And when you live from that place you'll find the strength and clarity to take bold, beautiful steps towards your dreams. Because the world needs you. It needs your unique light, your voice and your story. So go out there and shine. I believe in you. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Life as a circus.

So let's step into self mastery. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to carry with you on your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. Remember, in the circus of life, the greatest show is the one you create for yourself. Until next time, keep embracing your dreams and stepping into self mastery. Take care and I'll see you next Tuesday.