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Breaking the Fear Barrier | S2E03
Episode 324th January 2023 • Mavericks Do It Different Podcast • Paul Finck
00:00:00 00:24:03

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Most people believe that they cannot do what they want. Why? Because they have let that fear of failure and inadequacy take over even when there is no evidence of negative consequences. What keeps us in the fear mode? Paul breaks open the truth about fear. You absolutely do not need to conquer them but you do need to learn how to live with them.

Key Highlights:

03:05 - Fear can motivate people to take action to make positive changes in their lives however excessive or chronic fear can be harmful and debilitating.

07:15 - The six reasons why people might fear things even when there's no evidence of negative consequences in their life.

12:49 - Facing your fears, doesn't mean you have to conquer them or eliminate them. It means you learn to live with them and use them to your advantage. 

15:38 - Fear of failure can often be rooted in negative self talk. Reprogram your mind with positive affirmations.

20:12 - To take action is the bold move that has the most success and the greatest outcome.

About the Host:

Paul Finck is The Maverick Millionaire™. Paul brings to the table a vast array of knowledge and skill sets from 36+ years of sales, marketing and entrepreneurial life experience. He has consulted in numerous industries, including the Medical, Dental, Financial, Retail, Informational Marketing, Direct Sales, Multi-Level Marketing and Speakers/Coaches/Trainers. He is a former mortgage broker, real estate agent and investor. Starting with a desire to be great, Paul learned from several of the biggest names out there and Dared to be Different – he dared to be a Maverick. His successes include moving multi-millions of dollars in Real Estate, and over $20 million in informational products. With his primary focus on multiple streams of income, he has built up several businesses in Informational Marketing, Network Marketing, Real Estate Investing and now speaks and coaches internationally, teaching others how they can create this success in their own lives while Doing It Different – The Maverick Way.

Paul is well known for his success and his awesome family, and has appeared on Good Morning America, CNN, CNN Live, The Jane Pauley Show, The Montel Williams Show, local Channel 8 and Channel 11 News, Parents Magazine, and most local newspapers in his home state of Connecticut.

Connect with Paul

https://www.themaverickuniverse.com/

https://www.instagram.com/paulfinckpro

https://www.facebook.com/groups/maverickuniverse/

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Transcripts

Paul Finck:

Hi everyone. This is Paul Finck the Maverick Millionaire of the Maverick Universe and you're listening to the Mavericks Do It Different podcast. Today I want to discuss how most people don't believe they can. They don't believe they can do it, whatever that is. And I know they can't. Why I know what we're going to talk about, this discussion is gonna go into and focus on fear and the emotional blocks that keep us from living the life that we say we want living the life that we were meant to have. I'm going to do a deep dive into fear, why it's good, why it's bad. Why you must learn how to navigate these emotions in life to create a great one. When you want a different future, when you want a different life, when you want to create even more results in your business and personal life, this podcast is for you. So grab a coffee, your notebook, and let's get busy.

Paul Finck:

I haven't achieved an amazing level of success. And I'm not saying this to brag. I'm expressing the fact I have created success in my life. I want to focus you in on the rest of the story. Most people see my success and others like me and think to themselves, well, of course look at you, of course you've become successful. You have confidence, obvious talent, and you're fearless. I can never do what you do. The reality is I wasn't always this person. I had to work hard to overcome my fears, my blocks my anxieties, to reach a level of success that I now cherish. I had to walk with fear until the day it decided it was not going to show up anymore. And truth be told, they're still chit chat in my head to this day. I think to myself on a regular basis sometimes, and all too often that I hate to admit. Am I worthy? Am I good enough? When people really care what I have to say. You don't see any of that. You see what's presented in front of you nothing more. And you believe it's the whole story. It never is. As an entrepreneurial coach and business consultant, I work with people all over the world. I work with them to be more to achieve more to have more in their life. Unfortunately, all too often people back away from the opportunity because of fear. They feel they can't do what ever I did. They feel like they couldn't quite make it couldn't quite go through that process. And in turn whatever I tell them to do to succeed. They believe they couldn't do that either. So what is this thing called fear? Fear is an emotion and a response to perceived or imagined threat certain danger with mental physical, chemical and emotional manifestations and responses. This emotion is understood to be an evolved trait for quick response and quick response time under extreme danger. Although our need for life and death movement is few for the average person, this evolved trait will protect us nonetheless. And this becomes even more extreme and troublesome when combined with past similar experience. Our fear then triggers the release of certain chemicals in the brain, such as adrenaline which prepares the body for fight or flight. Fear can have both positive and negative effects. Obviously, the fight or flight response is a real one. On one hand, fear can be useful to protect ourselves and protect us from serious danger. It can also motivate people to take action to make positive changes in their lives. Excessive or chronic fear however, it can be harmful and debilitating. It can interfere with a person's ability to function and lead to anxiety and other mental health issues. It can also cause physiological effects such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. And over and above all that fear can keep you from living the life of your dreams. All too often I have potential clients that get frozen in the decision making process. They know they want to change they know they want more in their life. They know I know how to create the change and deliver what could be considered magical results in their life. Yet, they get stuck, they get stopped. They just don't believe they can make it happen. They know they're afraid, and they believe they can never have will never overcome these fears to take action on what I'm teaching them. It's so painful for me to watch, and even more painful for them to experience knowing they're inches away from changing their life, and yet cannot bring themselves to do so.

Paul Finck:

What you may not know is I have faced many of fear in my day, I was afraid to speak in public for sure. I was really good one on one. However, as soon as I had the speaker, even ask a question in front of a group and small as a few people in the classroom, and clam up. Even in my 20s and 30s, I would shake and get nauseous, my palms would sweat, my voice would crack. Every time I was asked to speak in front of a group. Why? Why did I have this emotional response? This physical response? I think back to those days and wonder, what was that about? Now speaking in front of groups is one of the most natural things I do. However, back then, I remember thinking my thoughts are not as good as theirs. What I might say, Oh, they might ridicule it. They know more than I do. They think I am stupid, or they will. Who knows where that came from, or, frankly, who cares? He is I can now speak in front of large groups all over the world. To get from there to hear, in addition to the fear of speaking, I had to face a long list of other fears. I had to overcome fear of being rejected. Fear of looking stupid, like I said, fear of success, fear of failure. I learned the techniques and strategies to move past all that and now I'm able to lend a hand to my clients to help them through the same challenges, fears blocks.

Paul Finck:

So why would you hesitate? Knowing what I deliver can bring you to new heights in your life both personally and professionally? Well, there are several reasons why people might fear things even when there's no evidence of negative consequence in their life. Number one, evolutionary response I touched on this earlier, fear is an evolved mechanism that helps individuals respond quickly and effectively to potential harm. Number two, we have past experiences our past experiences can shape the way we perceive and respond to certain situations trauma abuse, negative experiences, can cause people to develop phobias or irrational fears. Number three is we have learned associations, people can develop fears through learning associations where a certain stimulus becomes associated with a traumatic event or a negative experience. Cognitive dis distortions This is really key and overt overgeneralization, we can exaggerate the potential harm from a situation and make it seem more dangerous than it actually is. These distortions are real and at least to the person they are to the individual. So often, I hear I can't do that it will cost too much. I'll be financially destroyed, will you they believe they are going to be financially bankrupt by risking what they have. Usually the truth is they don't have anything now to speak about nothing worthwhile. And as such, they're worried over nothing. The non distortion, if you will, is they don't want to risk nothing that have real value to get something of much greater value. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? By the way, there is no better investment than investing in yourself. And we know that. Number five social influence. social influence can also play a role in the development of fears. People can develop fears due to the influence of others, such as parents, friends, or even the media. All these factors can make it difficult for people and may cause them to become frozen within action when faced with something they fear. This last one is especially prevalent in this day and age, social influence what will other people think all too often we care more about what people wouldn't think about our actions then we actually care about the people themselves. Surprisingly, most of the people we would worry about not liking what we're doing are not worth caring about.

Paul Finck:

At All and you know that in 10 years from now, will you care about what that person thinks? Will you even be in communication with them? And yet, you're willing to give up your future, your future life, your destiny, because of what that person might say, again, silliness, don't you think? There is the expression, face your fears and do it anyway. It is the understanding that it is better to confront and overcome the things that we are afraid of, rather than avoiding them or letting them hold us back for from our dream life. This can be a powerful approach to tackling challenges and achieving our goals as it helps us to build confidence resilience can ultimately lead to personal growth and fulfillment. I remember hearing about the great Barbra Streisand some of you may or may not know who this is, look it up. Barbra Streisand, one of the most successful and talented singers and actresses of all time. And the one thing that she was always struggling with, yep, you guessed it, public speaking. Despite her incredible success, Barbara was always plagued by the fear of speaking in front of large crowds. In one famous story, Barbara was set to give a keynote speech at a major industry conference. But as the day of the event approached, she became increasingly nervous and anxious. She tried everything she could think of to calm her nerves, breathing exercises, visualization techniques, nothing seemed to work. Finally, the day of the conference arrived, and Barbara took the stage as she always did to the professional. As she began to speak, her hands trembling, her voice shook a little. And she persisted. And she went along, she started to realize that the audience wasn't judging her. They were rooting for her. They wanted her to succeed. Of course they did. She was amazing. And as she spoke her, her fear began to dissipate. She found herself getting into the flow of the speech. And by the end, Barbara gave an amazing speech and received a standing ovation. One of the most amazing parts of the story is that despite her success, but we never fully overcame this fear of public speaking. Instead, she learned to work with it, and channel it into a force that helped her deliver an unforgettable performance and performance over and over again.

Paul Finck:

So the moral of the story is that facing your fears, doesn't mean you have to conquer them or eliminate them. It means you learn to live with them, chattel them and use them to your advantage. It's okay to be scared and can actually be good for you to move you forward to get you going. What is not okay is to let your fear stop you from doing what you want to do, what you were meant to do. As a business person, there are several strategies you can use to overcome these fears. Whether it is the fear of failure, the fear of success, going to be proactive and taking action without hesitation. One of the key components is reframing your thinking. Instead of focusing in on the potential negative outcomes of failure, reframe your thoughts and focus on the benefits and opportunity that will come from taking higher perceived risks. I say perceived risks because just like fear risk is subjective and susceptible to major cognitive distortions as well. Learn from your mistakes. Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow instead of dwelling on your failures. Learn from them and use that knowledge to improve your future actions. Be prepared. Educate yourself about the risks and opportunities involved in your venture and have a plan in place for alternative ways to hit your goals. Being prepared can help you feel more in control and less fearful of the failure or the potential failure. Be aware often people use this aspect to procrastinate or delay action on getting prepared weighing all the options. Stop overthinking get into action, getting the doing you'll do so much better. Another great technique, surround yourself with supportive people. Seek out the supportive friends family, you'll have a mentor who can provide encouragement and guidance and community even you're the average of the five people you hang out with the most. This goes down I'm all for your fears. Your fears are the average of the fears of the five people you hang out with the most P aware of who you're hanging out with who you are listening to. It is an amazing truth that people will take advice on important life changing events or financial opportunities from people that have no life and no finances. Why would you ever do that? Be aware of where you're getting your advice from. Another great technique, do some self programming and do this daily. Fear of failure can often be rooted in negative self talk, time to get busy and reprogram your mind and positive affirmations. Doing this daily and several times a day can be a powerful tool anyone can take advantage of at any time. For neuro remember that failure is a normal and natural part of the process of taking risks, and pursuing success. Taking action despite the fear of failure is the key to achieve success in all business. Color we share with you a couple other stories, which are always amazing and I love success stories of celebrities who have gone the test the time gone the distance, and how they face fear.

Paul Finck:

Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time has spoken about his fear of failure. He stated that he used his fear as motivation to work harder, push himself to be the best. He said I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed because they dare to fail. JK Rowling, the author of Harry Potter series, she was all about her struggles with depression and anxiety. She talked about all of this She stated that writing was a form of therapy for helping her deal with her fears and negative thoughts. Despite her struggle, she persisted and became one of the most successful authors of all time. Oprah, Oprah Winfrey. She's spoken about her fear of public speaking and how it held her back early on in her career she stated that she had forced herself to speak in front of others and eventually she overcame her fear by facing it head on similar to what I've done in my career. Today Oprah and successful media mogul and one of the most influential public speakers in the world. For me this tactic called Dean sensitization worked. Continuous persistent exposure to the fearful situation helped me overcome the fear for good. It didn't take more than once, which meant it was repeatedly knowingly putting me myself in a fearful situation. I started by standing on stage with without a mic, no expectation, I would say a word. Then gradually, I would say my name, then a few sentences, then step by step over lunch worked up to a 10 minute speech, then a 20 minute speech and so on. helped me build the confidence and overcome my fear step by step. Marilyn Monroe, the legendary actress Marilyn Monroe has spoken about her fear of rejection and how it affected her life. Despite her success, she was plagued by self doubt, insecurity. She said, I am good put, I'm not an angel. I do sin, but I'm not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. To spite her fears. She became one of the most iconic actresses of all time.

Paul Finck:

Then we have Abraham Lincoln, the 16th, President of the United States, had a fear of public speaking also, he stammered and had a high pitched voice which made it difficult for him to speak in public. Despite his fear of Lincoln persist and worked on his speeches in delivery. He eventually became one of the greatest speakers of all time in American history, and delivered some of the most famous speeches in history. And the story show that fear is a common experience for many, many people of all types, and even those that are highly successful. What it also shows that success is not the absence of fear, but the ability to overcome chattel and work within it. These people have shown that with determination and hard work, they were able to overcome their fears and achieve great success. It's when I have achieved as well and experienced. And so can you. Reach out to me share your fears let me guide you pass them to the life you were meant to have. Overall to take action is the bold move that has the most success and the greatest outcome. Let your body tell your mind the direction you are going in versus the other way around. Ultimately, the key and effective move is to be proactive take action, even when it feels difficult or scary. By facing your fears and pushing through them, you can develop the skills and confidence to tackle new challenges and achieve all your life goals. There are a number of strategies that you can use to help overcome fear and build confidence. Over and over we have clients who hesitate to move forward, some hesitate for minutes or days. Some even take months if not years. One of our clients laughs and kicks herself regularly at the fact her fears kept her stuck and stopped in her tracks for over four years. When she finally faced her fears then follow the maverick doctrine of trust the process. She moved from a low five figures to multi six figures almost overnight. Too bad she wasted four years of not having this abundance available to her before she took action. Don't make that mistake yourself. Reach out to me today. I asked you do you want to face your fears? Do you want to create a new life? Do you want to get control of all use these techniques face your fears trust the process and join forces with the maverick universe. Become on stoppable. Ready to do a different excited to be a maverick. We are here for you on this journey.

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