Shownotes
Real resilience isn't about never breaking down, it's about how you get back up. Chad Betz has spent his career studying exactly that.
Chad joins host Nalga to unpack why setbacks aren't failures, how sunk-cost thinking keeps us stuck in careers and relationships that no longer fit, and why it's never too late to redefine what success looks like.
About the Guest:
Chad Betz is the author of An Authentic Success: You Aren't Too Old and It's Not Too Late, along with several other books on resilience and reinvention. He helps people navigate leadership, burnout, and career transitions.
Key Takeaways:
- Resilience isn't the absence of struggle, it's what you do when struggle shows up.
- Sunk-cost thinking keeps us investing in relationships and careers that no longer serve us.
- Comfortable negativity is still a habit, and habits can trap us in place.
- Journaling small daily reactions helps you notice patterns before they take over.
- A setback can launch you further than you'd have gone otherwise, if you stop trying to return to where you were.
Connect With the Guest
Website: anauthenticsuccess.com, with links to his social media and free content.
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] Welcome and Meeting Chad Betz: introducing today's conversation on real resilience
[03:00] (approx.) The Biggest Misconception About Strength: why life isn't a straight path
[08:00] (approx.) Choosing Who You Share Your Struggles With: not everyone is equipped to help
[14:00] (approx.) Sunk-Cost Thinking: why we keep investing in what isn't working
[19:00] (approx.) Recognizing the Signals: the quiet cues that a change is needed
[24:00] (approx.) The OODA Loop: observe, orient, decide, act
[29:00] (approx.) Bouncing Back Further: reframing setbacks as a bow pulled back before launch
🎙️ Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life?
Send me a direct message on PodMatch.
👉 DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik
🌱 About Healthy Mind By Avik™️
Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Global Mental Wellness Podcast Network - focused, credible, no more identity clutter.
👉 Subscribe and be part of this healing journey.
Refer a Guest
Know someone who would be a great fit for one of our podcast shows? Email us at [email protected] with the subject line “Refer a Guest.” Requests without this subject line cannot be catered to.
Support Our Podcast: Support this Podcast
📬 Contact & Links
Brand: Healthy Mind By Avik™️
Based in: India & USA
📌 Disclaimer - This episode is produced for educational and informational purposes only. All views expressed by the guest are their personal opinions alone and do not represent the views of the host or Healthy Mind by Avik™. The Network does not verify, endorse, or assume responsibility for any guest statements. Nothing in this episode constitutes medical, legal, financial, or professional advice, please consult a qualified professional before making any decisions. Listeners are encouraged to engage critically and independently with all content do not consume blindly. Use this content as a starting point for your own reflection and research, not as a substitute for professional guidance. Third-party content is referenced under fair use for informational purposes only. Guest speakers are solely responsible for their own statements.
If you have concerns about any content, please contact us here
By listening, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer in full. Read detailed disclaimer here.
#podmatch #healthymindbyavik #podhub.club #mindovermatter #resiliencebuilding #authenticsuccess #mentalstrength #reinventionatanyage #burnoutrecovery #sunkcostthinking #careertransition #growthmindset #setbackstosuccess #journalingforgrowth #comebackstronger
Transcripts
00:00:00 Niharika: Think about the last time something threw you off balance. Maybe it was a comment from someone you trust, a plan that fell apart, or just one of those mornings where nothing seemed to go right. And what made you keep going? That choice, that small shift inside yourself, and that moment when you decided not to stay down. And that is the heart of what we are talking about today.
00:00:40 Niharika: Welcome to Mind over Matter. I'm Niharika, and as you all know, this is a place where we explore the inner world that builds real and lasting strength. Not the kind of resilience that sounds good in the code, but the kind you feel when life gets messy and you choose to meet it anyway. Today I am joined by Chad Betts. Welcome, Chad. It's so great to have you here.
00:01:10 Chad Betz: Thank you. It's great to be here.
00:01:13 Niharika: So to start with, a lot of people think resilience means you never break down or you never feel overwhelmed. What's the biggest misconception you've noticed about what it actually takes to build mental strength?
00:01:33 Chad Betz: You're one hundred percent right. You know, society tells us we need to be strong. We need to be independent. And that seems like it's a straight path to success. And that's not how life works. You know, we have setbacks. We have things that affect us from the little things every day to, you know, big things that could really set us back, you know, unemployment or health issue. And it really takes time to, uh, focus in on that one issue, uh, to get it addressed without, you know, affecting the rest of your life, which can be challenging. Uh, so that resilience is what keeps us going. Uh, it's kind of like a very bumpy road. If we go too slow, we can get stuck in the bumps. But that resilience of pushing us forward, we can get through those bumps and, uh, get through the rough spot until we get to a smoother road.
00:02:29 Niharika: And so when someone is in that moment of feeling like they are not holding up the way they should, and what do you want them to understand about what's really happening inside them?
00:02:48 Chad Betz: When you when you're stuck like that, it could feel like it's only you that's going through it, uh, which can be very isolating and it can make you feel bad about yourself and maybe even embarrassed, uh, that you're going through this setback. So you might be hesitant to talk about it with other people, but life is a team sport. And if you share it with people who you have confidence with, uh, you know, who aren't going to be spreading your secrets, but also have a little bit of know how to help you get through it. Uh, it could really make your experience a lot better. You can see that you're not the only one that other people go through it and that other people are able to help you move forward. So that's kind of the lesson I would take is that you don't do it alone. Uh, because if you do, it can feel very isolating and you can kind of feel almost despair.
00:03:40 Niharika: So again, sharing is caring, but I think it is equally important with who you share with the kind of person or the input they are giving to your life, or the influence they have it both. Both sides would positively or negatively. It's so important to selectively choose person who you can share it.
00:04:05 Chad Betz: Yeah, you're one hundred percent right. I mean, there's, there's two things that you really need to look at. You know, one, does the person have your best interest at heart or are they just going to take you? Or information is spread around like gossip or give you bad information? The other piece is yet to be careful of friends and family because they love you and they want to help you, but they don't necessarily have the the information or knowledge to get you through the, uh, the, the hard part. So you might just get, oh, it's, it's, oh, you're so hard to see work and do this and you get that emotional feedback. Uh, but no real answers. Uh, so sometimes your family and friends can actually hold you back unintentionally, uh, because they're trying to protect you from risk and from other things. And just to help you commiserate and maybe not change. Whereas someone who has your best interest at heart but has the knowledge to help you can help you change so that you can get through the rough spot.
00:05:05 Niharika: So true. And I think we are so conditioned to think that strength is the absence of struggle, but maybe it's really about what we do when struggle shows up and that reframe changes everything.
00:05:27 Chad Betz: Yeah. You're right. Yeah. And you're one hundred percent right. We get these concepts of what strength means we have from from movies and superheroes and books. And, uh, the idea of, you know, perseverance means just being strong for everybody. Uh, but that's, you know, again, that's not how life works. We go through ups and downs. Uh, and we're humans. We're not superheroes, you know, we're not superhuman. We're just human. Uh, so there's some times where, uh, we do have these setbacks where, uh, you know, resilience is getting through the rough patch. It's not always winning. It's, you know, getting through something to get to a point where you can find success. You know, that's the strength. Again, it's life is a team sport, so you shouldn't do it alone if you don't have to. Uh, you know, if you move through and get other people with you to help you.
00:06:26 Niharika: So true. And when you look beneath the surface, what do you think are the deeper patterns or root causes that keep people stuck in cycles of burnout or emotional exhaustion?
00:06:43 Chad Betz: You know, there's a, uh, a concept in economics called sunk costs where a company invests in a product, that product is not profitable, but they keep investing in it with the hope that someday it might be profitable, where they'd be better off just stopping investment in that product and starting something new. Uh, we do the same thing, whether it's a relationship or a career, uh, some other part of our life. We continue to invest in things that don't work because we've always done it. Uh, we've built that, that inertia where we keep moving forward and invest and invest where as if we put that aside and started working on something different, uh, we would be able to move forward and get unstuck. Uh, and that takes strength too, because it's the fear of something new. Uh, the fear that we're, we've wasted our lives when we haven't. Getting over that fear takes strength, takes resilience. Uh, to get from where you are to where you really should be.
00:07:45 Niharika: So I think we, deep down know that this relationship or thing we are putting our strength and efforts into is not serving us actually in our life, but we still choose to move forward with it because we don't know if we end it, we are. Where is it going to lead us? If we end this and go out of that comfort zone again.
00:08:18 Chad Betz: And it's just comfortable. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's just comfortable staying on that path. Yeah, we've done it. It's we know it. It's our, you know, the path we've been on so long. Uh, there's little uncertainty. Whereas, you know, with like you said, you know, the going and kind of opening our minds into new things. There's uncertainty, there's a fear of failure. And the other pieces.
00:08:42 Niharika: So even even if it is something which is bringing sorrow or negativity in our life, we still choose because it is comfortable, a comfortable negativity we are habituated to.
00:08:57 Chad Betz: Yeah. And it's, it's funny. It's like, uh, sitting in warm water, you know, it just, it feels so good, but it just you don't get anywhere, you know, and that's, uh, sometimes it's time to get out of the water and move on to something else. Even if the air is a little bit cold, uh, you get over that initial shock and move forward, but that that comfort can lead to complacency. And complacency can lead to mediocrity, where you're doing the same things over and over and really not achieving anything so true.
00:09:30 Niharika: And when someone starts, starts to recognize the pattern in themselves, what's usually the first thing that needs to shift for them to break out of it?
00:09:46 Chad Betz: I would say it's recognizing that a change is needed. Uh, and that can be hard sometimes again, because of that comfort, but there's little signals, you know, that, you know, maybe you're getting a little bit bored, maybe you're a little bit frustrated, you know, maybe things aren't working out the way you thought it was. Maybe you're thinking, you know, I've been in here so long, now I'm a little bit too old to do anything but all these little ideas that pop into your head that aren't productive are signs that you might need to change. And it's recognizing those signs. Uh, is the really the first step. And once you recognize it, to start reflecting and identifying where you want to go.
00:10:30 Niharika: And that makes so much sense because it's like we are running on autopilot and we don't even realize the script we are following until something forces us to pause and look it clearly. Until that. Moment we get into, we don't recognize those patterns as we have seen, because we are often habituated to ignore the signs we are getting at the starting of the momentum which is not serving us. Our body often definitely tells us that this is not good for you, but we we just ignore it.
00:11:08 Chad Betz: Yeah. And that was a perfect example you gave. It's, you know, being on autopilot. You know, we do that. It's a, you know, cruise control in our car and just autopilot. Just keep moving forward. Uh, but it's important to reflect all the time on where you are. Uh, there's a tool that I use and I use it all the time where it's even, it's just passed. It's second nature for me. It's called the Ooda loop. Oh oh d a uh, the first O is for observe. See what's happening. You know, how is it affecting you? You know what, what's what are you dealing with? What are you getting from it? Uh, the second O is from is Orient. Okay, so I have this, but I want that. So in order to get from here to there, I really need to follow this plan. And I have to orient myself in this direction. And nothing happens without commitment. So D is for decide. You decide to move forward and then the A is act. You have to take action to move forward because you may not be confident now, but action builds confidence.
00:12:12 Niharika: Yeah. So true. And how does this show up every day in everyday life? I'm thinking about the small moments, the things people might not even connect to their mental resilience, but actually shape it day by day.
00:12:34 Chad Betz: You're right. Because it's, you know, you don't get big crises every day. You get little things every day that can slow you down. Uh, and it's all how you react to it. It's all your mindset. You know, it's like an example, uh, traffic on the way to work. So you're going into work and someone cuts you off, uh, and you spill your coffee in your lap as you're driving. Uh, and then, uh, you're mad. So, and you retain that anger all day long and you're not as productive as you would have been. Whereas if you kind of laughed it off, uh, you'd be able to get on with your day so these little things can sabotage, uh, your, your, your, your, your progress, you know. And whose responsibility is it? It's yours. You know, you, you have to be able to take control of your life. You're the guy who cuts you off, doesn't even know you existed. You know, he just pulled in, and you're mad at him, but he doesn't even know who you are. So you're giving control of your life over somebody who doesn't even know who you are. So by taking control of your life and putting things in perspective, uh, and putting these little crises aside, uh, and not get overwhelmed by them.
00:13:45 Niharika: So again, it is a matter of choice. We take in every small moments, not the biggest decisions. We take that tomorrow I'll change. Tomorrow I'll be another person. But it is in the change starts when we make when we choose to make choices. Every moment that small steps build.
00:14:10 Chad Betz: Right? That's because we're not going to have, you know, the big things happen every day. It is those small steps. And that's where, you know, where the success or the the, the delay lie. You know, I don't say failure because it's we're still moving forward. Just because things go slower doesn't mean you're not still progressing. But when you let these little things, uh, take control of your life every day, uh, that's where you can lose traction. Whereas if you control your mindset and have that resilience just to get through it, uh, and to, you know, acknowledge and move on.
00:14:49 Niharika: So true. And, and what's one practical or reflective approach you recommend for someone who wants to strengthen their mental resilience but doesn't know where to start?
00:15:06 Chad Betz: I would say start observing what's happening in your life, you know, seeing, uh, those little crises, understanding how you react to them and improving that reaction and doing that every day. A good way to do that is with journaling. You know, just to write things down. Uh, if you just do it in your head, it goes in, it goes out. But when you write it down, for some reason, it stays. Even if you don't read it, it just, it stays in your head as well. Uh, but even if it doesn't, you can kind of reflect back on it when you read it. And that way you can see, uh, what happened, how you reacted, what the result was. And by continuing to do that, you could change your behaviors, uh, so that you are more productive, more resilient, and less vulnerable to these little everyday crises that, um, that kind of gnaw at us.
00:16:15 Niharika: So let's talk about setbacks because they happen to everyone. How do you help people handle the inevitable moments that when they slip back into old patterns or feel like they've lost their purpose?
00:16:32 Chad Betz: Yeah. Setbacks are, you know, bigger crises than the the little everyday thing. So it's unemployment or a health issue or something. Uh, a lot of times, especially with an employment issue, uh, the economy changes, uh, we evolve. And that means that we need to look at different opportunities. You know, it's, we always get that call backwards, you know, this is the way we've done it. So we want to go back. Uh, and, you know, my advice is to resist that call backwards and look forward. Uh, because a lot of times what happens is we, we sacrifice our future just to dwell in the past. So it's important to acknowledge our past, to use the experience we've gained in the past, but not to live in the past. We need to take what we have and apply it, and live in the present and move towards the future.
00:17:31 Niharika: So no, I think I think the real work it does not is not about getting it perfect, but the real work lies in how quick can you get back to the normal when that setback happens? Okay, this is happening to me. And and this happened. And again, bouncing back to where you are is the real work we have to do.
00:18:05 Chad Betz: Yeah. And what a setback. You hit the nail on the head, too, with the setback. Yeah. We kind of want to bounce back to where we were. So we fallen back and we want to get back to where we were. Well, where we were may no longer exist. So we need to consider that so that bounce back might bounce us to another place that's even better. So it's important for us to open our minds to all kinds of opportunities, uh, that we could leverage that setback to get to. Uh, because the thing that set us back may have eliminated that one opportunity if we keep trying to go back to that opportunity and get back to where we were, we might find ourselves getting very frustrated. So it's important to see that setback like a bow and arrow. You know, it's like, uh, where we pulled the setback is being pulled back on the bow. And we might find that we're launched farther than we've ever been before. So it's important not to focus on where we were and where we want to go.
00:19:08 Niharika: So true. And I think that perspective is everything because it reminds that growth isn't a straight line and that every time we return to work, we are not failing. We are in progress. So.
00:19:29 Chad Betz: Yeah, it's all, you know, those little bits that we take to grow. And, you know, remember that growth can mean new things. Uh, not necessarily the same old path. So just having that open mind, uh, is really, really important.
00:19:46 Niharika: And tired of, uh, thank you for this conversation. And if listeners want to continue learning from you or connect with your work, which is the best place to find you.
00:19:59 Chad Betz: The best way to get me is probably through my website, uh, and an authentic success dot com. And you find out about me and there's links to all my social media so you can get my free content.
00:20:12 Niharika: And thank you again for joining us. It's so glad. I'm so glad you are here.
00:20:18 Chad Betz: And thank you very much for having me. It's been a great conversation.
00:20:23 Niharika: And listeners, what I hope you carry from today is this. Your strength is not measured by how much you can hold without breaking. It's measured by how you choose to rebuild and how you meet yourself with compassion when things feel hard and how you know and how you keep showing up even when the path isn't clear. That's the work and that's what matters. Thank you for being here. And until next time, take a good care of your mind. And thank you again for joining us.
00:21:01 Chad Betz: Thank you.
