In our society, we’re often taught that success and happiness are synonymous with achieving our goals. We strive to acquire power, money, and influence, believing that attaining these things will bring us inner peace and joy. But what if I told you that these things may actually be stealing your joy?

In this solo episode, I explain how this kind of thinking keeps us in a perpetual state of seeking the next phase in our lives, overlooking the opportunities for happiness that are right in front of us. By releasing the need to control our inner experience through external achievements, we can experience a profound sense of freedom and peace. Tune in to learn how to find true contentment in every day!

View full show notes here.

Adam: One of the most popular questions that we get from people following 200 percent in life model or people that are in business, people that are just started pointing themselves in the direction of wanting to go down this kind of inward path. And I love this, this intersection because essentially you, you wake up one day and wake up so word, we can put a pin in and come back to you later on, but essentially you wake up one day and you realize that getting what you want is overrated.

Getting in. And what I mean by that is all these goals that you set out to do and get that you. Bought into the fact that the goal themselves would bring you this inner experience of peace and joy and lightness that everyone describes and everyone's talking about. And that's how people define success.

And that's really what you're doing. You're just, you're now starting to put this, you put this whole facade on, this whole waking up every day of trying to get and keep the things the way they are, so that you can control your inner experience. I don't use, it's the one that you want, just meaning that you're going to control.

To a degree that it feels bad or to the degree that it feels good, you start to control that. So it feels like you're the one who's playing with the dials in there to kind of give you this inner experience that you're looking for. So then people say, well, if you can become more successful, if I get more of something, then I will be able to control the dials more.

Just like everything else. In your entire life, you've set out, hey, as long as I get my driver's license, it's going to be amazing. If I get my first date, as long as I get somebody to the prom, as long as that, you know, I get my first business, as long as I can get this deal this next week, as long as I can get a certain amount of money or whatever it is in this next phase, there's always this next phase that you're going to go out there, get what you want, and by getting what you want, you're going to, you're no longer going to have to do this anymore.

I think that's what people buy into. It's like, if I just go get what I want, then I can relax. Then I can live life, then I can enjoy what you've bought into this mind concept. That's by saying, if I go out and get something and get what I want, then I no longer have to deal with this inner experience that I'm having in the times that you do go out and get what you want.

And I just remember wanting to army cargo pants and I got them and they were great. I wore them. But. It was on to something next a few weeks later, or a month later, then I wanted a bunny, or whatever it was that, and I wanted a Nintendo, and then it was the next Nintendo thing. And so you just, it's not even about the big things that we're looking at now.

And I understand problems can be more difficult now than they have been in the past. But this is where we wake up and go, Okay, getting what I want is way overrated. I don't mean it's wrong. It just means that yes, if that's the game that you want to play, then you better go get what you want, and you better play it really well.

And you all know what I mean, meaning that you don't have to go out there and try to manipulate the world anymore. And it's like, look, it's, it's the same thing, uh, about like when the mind says, I don't want to do this. Right. Or that I'm sad or angry. It's, it's the mind can also say, I'm happy. I'm happy to do this.

There's no one else that's in there that is listening to the mind. Tell you that you don't want to be doing what you're doing or all member. That's where people start suffering. And that's why the Buddha went away and said, I figured it all this out. He was away for five years, left his family. Everything came back and said, all, everybody's out there suffering.

But the reality is, is when there is an infinite number of possibilities that you can get higher than that, you realize that, wow, I am actually suffering. And the only person that's causing this is. Me paying attention to my mind, which is causing the suffering. If an event occurs outside, again, get what you want, right?

Let's just take this as an example. You go get what you want, whatever that is, whatever goal you, you, you've set yourself for. Remember, I've goals of beginning and end. They're wonderful in business. They're great to use. If it turns you on, let it turn you on. If it feels good to accomplish the goal, of course it does.

You know, yesterday I was skinning with, um, my son for Valentine's Day. And, uh, we had like four kids out there. It was negative 23 degrees with windchill. It just snowed. It was dark. It was 545 in the morning. And it was a bear. It was a rugged skin. It was hard. It was an hour and 45 minutes. The elements were hitting.

That was a goal to get to the top of the mountain and ski down it. And it felt wonderful. Great. Those things should open you up. Of course, they should. You should allow them to. But we don't do that with the expectation that this is going to permanently open us up. If something outside has opened you up, let it.

Let it, that's beautiful. The same thing if you have a goal in business and you go win, that feels wonderful too. That feels great. It's let that open you up as well. It's just all different experiences that you're having. It's where we start going. I don't want this experience and I only want this one. So therefore, if that other experience starts to show up or what it really shows up as.

In fact, if I, as running organizations, watching people show up and being asked to do something that everyone knows that they don't want to do, and they go do that with, Pure inspiration, enjoying creativity, that person gets promoted. Whether it's my company or somebody else recognizes that and steals them away, they're going to get promoted or anybody else's company and sees that.

If you do that over time, people will take notice that you show up that way. And they're looking for great culture fits, people that are putting their head down and enjoying what they're being asked to do. I promise you, people will always get rewarded that way. So it's not even like you won't get noticed or have to stay in there.

It's the whole point of untethering yourself from all of this. It's the whole point of having a business or having kids or interacting with life, because the whole thing that you're doing here is you're recognizing the fact that getting what I want is not going to permanently give me this joy that I'm looking for or the inner peace.

I keep changing the words because whatever makes sense for you, but it's all a better inner experience is what you're looking for. The only way to get a better inner experience is to stop paying attention to what you like and dislike and you bring your whole self into whatever you're doing. And therefore, the mind can jump on board and say, well, I love changing attire, right?

And I'm I'm okay at setting those things up, but I'm not great. And I found myself getting frustrated having to set this thing up. And I just, and I was like, well, if my mind can say I'm frustrated and I'm not, I shouldn't be having to do this. Can it say that I am privileged to be doing this and that I can enjoy this?

And the minute you just change that tone around, it's not like instantaneously I felt this eruption of joy, but you know what it did? It took away the suffering that I was doing this because I knew I was going to do it anyway. So I was like, well, I'm going to do this. Why can't I just start saying, I enjoy this?

I'm spending time with my family, spending time with my son. I'm learning something new. This is a wonderful practice. So why can't I change it? I just, every time it started showing up, I started getting frustrated. I would just pause and go, this is great. Look at this. I'm spending time learning something new.

I shouldn't be doing this. Now, there's a difference between you prioritizing your one thing or a couple of things that are more important. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm saying because typically Your one thing or what you need to be doing is the prioritization, is the thing you'd be doing.

But it's also the thing that the mind is screaming at that's saying, I shouldn't have to do this. I really shouldn't have to do this. So this is why the power of focus in business is so important or in life, right? Because we start recognizing That we can actually enjoy whatever it is that we're supposed to be doing.

That's going to have the biggest contribution service. You know, there's a mechanical nature to money, obviously. So you can make money that way. All of these things are wonderful things. And again, that's why I started off today with that, you know, with, with the question or also by indicating that it's not about It's more about just recognizing that you can, you can bring yourself into anything.

And if you're truth, the reality is, is you're probably maybe somewhere in the middle. Maybe you are listening to some of it, but I bet most of it is that you're listening to the mind going, I don't really like what Adam just said right there. Yeah. It's easy for him to say whatever, whatever it's commenting.

Now you're bought into that. So we can't use. If we're going to play that game, sure, you can play it. There's nothing wrong with doing that. A lot of people want to play that game. They don't even want to go down the other path. But if you go down this, understand the game that you're playing. Which means that now I have to go out there and work all the time to make sure that the experiences that I want are happening the way I want them to so that I can feel this little energy of joy.

And the fact that you're, there's birds and animals and different color people and different sizes and people of different interests and different personalities. And they show up different. Some yell at you, some hug you, right? It's just all of life. And it's just, that is a wonderful experience. But you go, I only want people that love me and hug me.

I don't want anybody to yell at me. It's going to be a tough, right? Like there's going to be people that just don't like you. There's going to be people that love you and everything in between. That's fine. Let them, let that experience be just as comfortable as the one where people liking you. Who's to say that you can't do that?

And really what I was saying is everyone told me to go be successful and get money and get power and get fame. And to a certain degree, In my bubble, I did that and, and I realized this was not going to work and I said, well, what is the truth then? And that's really the question that I was asking was, what is the truth around this?

Because this doesn't work. It doesn't, it's not that it's, it's wrong. It's just this path, going to get what I want doesn't work and it just sneaks up in there. So then you wake up and go, well, then what is the truth? What is it here? And earth is a place where souls come to evolve. You're just evolving. So it's not about your business.

I don't, I don't mean that's wrong. You're just doing it and it's not going to last forever. So therefore you're now committed to this practice of having to get the world the way you want it, live up to an image, live up to being the best parent, living, give up to being and giving more, whatever it is. You know, I was talking to a, Individual that lives in Stowe and he's got thousands and thousands of followers on Instagram and he does these skiing videos.

And the thing that he said, he goes, you know, I've been in this for a couple of years and he's like, it's actually become a burden. I go, well, what do you mean? You've got like 60, 000 followers and people love your videos and they're awesome. And he goes, yeah, but now I can't go out and ski anymore. Now I got to go out there and I have to perform and I have to post a certain number of videos because now I have this identity and he used the word around this whole thing.

The minute you're not attached to being the best parent, you can be the better parent. So that's the whole point of these lessons of what. The exploration that you do is that everything that you're doing actually makes you better. It makes you better at what you're trying to get better at by doing that because you're no longer attached.

There's no longer a need. There's no longer this dependency on that because you go, I'm fine. And I'm just going to have this experience. So now I'm going to show up with my whole self and do whatever is being asked in front of me. That's why I heard this a long time ago and I've never lost it. I heard it a couple of different places, but it's, I've adopted it as my own mission statement.

You can adopt it as yours. I mean, I didn't make it up. It was that my goal is my mission every day is to raise the moment that's in front of me. So it's better off for having passed by. Me, my consciousness, right? So you just raise the moment up. Sometimes there's nothing to do. In fact, the majority of time, there's nothing to do.

And again, everyone that follows me know that I love my kids and I spend a lot of time with them and I love doing it, but it's not even about my kids either. In fact, the clearer I get, the better I get, the more impactful time I can spend with them, the more lessons that I can give with them. The same thing in business, the same thing with your partner.

So it's not about how much time or energy of these things that you give, what it's really about. It's about you getting Waking up and realizing that this entire game that I've played, I'm done. I'm not going to play it anymore. I'm actually going to lean in differently. I'm going to enjoy the process, the experiences that I have.

It is just negative. If we didn't, we wouldn't need positive affirmation if it was great in there. I mean, when you're feeling ecstatic, you don't need positive affirmation. So again, all of these things are just clues. And again, this is, this is not for you to believe this or not believe this. This is for you to explore the things that you've done in the past.

Are you sitting here in permanence of joy and energy? And you wake up and realize, I'm not. In fact, if I'm really honest with myself, I, you know, I was talking to a friend of mine who his, uh, a family member of his sold his company for hundreds of millions of dollars and, you know, it's been a couple of years now and the first year was great and now he's in one of the worst head spots that he's been in because, and I'll tell you from just even personal experience, part of that reason is because you buy into the fact that I now have so much money That I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

It just doesn't work. It's not, and again, it doesn't mean that you should, you shouldn't strive for that goal or shouldn't strive for that goal. It just means if that's part of your experience and that's part of your goals and those things that happen, that's wonderful. You just, you're not doing it going, I know if I get all this, that it's going to be permanent for the rest of my life.

And we know this because people win the lottery just about every week. And 85 percent or I read this recently, 87 percent of people that they've studied that have won the lottery earn a worse off mental and financial position within seven years, five to seven years. It's because for a few moments, it's the world's opened up and it's amazing.

So this is why we just got to stop going through life thinking that, okay, I just got to work to get through the weekends. No, why can't I just really put myself into each experience that I'm having? It doesn't mean that it's going to be the way you want it to. It doesn't mean that every experience is going to be this, this inner one.

That's wonderful. It's going to be times where it's windy. It's going to be times where it's snowy. There's cycles of winter. There's cycles of summer and they're all experiences worth having. But remember this, that it's only the mind that says, I don't like something. I don't like this. Just, that's all I want you to pay attention to for the next week until you listen to this next episode or you just, whatever, you move on to the next, you know, tactic that you want to bring in.

And that's all it's identified with. It doesn't mean that there's not other things around or grass or other people or trees or any house or any of that stuff. The light is just fixated on the pumpkin. And it's only until you take the light off the pumpkin that you realize there's a whole bunch more out there.

Well, it's the same way with your inner experience. Right now, you are so glued to your mind, i. e. the pumpkin, that you don't even realize there's a whole other world out there. There's, you don't have to be identified with your body. You don't have to be identified with your roles. You don't have to be identified with your, the, the incessant chatter of your mind.

I just realized I don't have to look at the pumpkin the whole time and something is just, just inside, just kind of moving. It's not a voice. It's just this movement of going, this itch that can't be scratched. It's just a sound that's playing in the background and you know, it's there and you're going, what is that?

And it's all along with somebody humming and trying to get you to stop paying attention to that pumpkin. That's it. Remember, the mind can say what the mind wants to say. You don't identify with it. You can use the mind. It's a wonderful tool. It's amazing. It's such a gift. But so aren't you. Remember, you are aware that you're aware that you're aware.

Let's just stop with two. You are aware that you're aware. You're aware you have thoughts. You're aware you have your body. You're aware that you have these roles. Okay, so you get the point, right? Is when we first start to have this intersection here. Again, you can use this in business, in personal life, and all of these things.

If the mind instantly jumps in and goes, well, I feel great. That's why I'm going after this thing. All I want you to do is stop for a second, realize that was the mind saying that you've now identified with that. Look back the rest of your life. This is what the beauty about history is. How many times have you said, if I just get through this, if I just get that, if this situation just unfolds, then I'll never do this again.

How long did that last? Exactly. What about your car, or your house, or the dog, or, you know, whatever. I was going to get married, or find a partner. All those things have come and gone. And are you any better? You know, so again, and that's not, that's not judgment, that's just purely questions. These are questions I ask myself all the time too.

It's not just about 100 percent inner world. It's about the interaction between both of them. And every day life is your guru. It's your education. It's going to give you the opportunity of saying, Oh, you're blocked here. The only reason why you don't feel this energy is because you've stored some, some experience that you've had.

And now you're paying attention to that experience that you want to happen again, because either you didn't like it or you really liked it. And the ones you didn't like, you just Push away, you never want to experience again, so therefore you stay away from them. So that's what you end up spending and concentrating your entire inner experience on, which is trying to move these inner experiences that you've stored around so that the energy can flow through them.

Or you could just let them go, which is the entire point of spirituality and yoga, which is just relax, release. You're a sojourner, which means that you just allow the experiences to come in. That's the first step is you don't block or put any more story experiences there. You allow them to move in. And as you do, you eventually start catching on.

And I don't mean you're great because it's morally or ethically wrong. It's just you feel great. Now you understand there's a situation that needs your attention that can feel shitty, but you're still okay. And so you deal with it. That's the whole point of trying to, you get to people as you actually now deal with it clear.

It's like, look, if you're a doctor and you can't handle the sight of blood, you are no good in the situation. If you are a leader and you can't handle reality, you can't handle it. You're no good at being a leader. That's it. So the, the way out of this is always first being aware for actually, let me back up.

There's some truth that needs to be discovered. There's something that I'm just not quite able to put my finger on because your mind can't touch it. And that's what you're looking for. That's your intent. So you bring that every day. That in itself will bring you the entire process. But after intent, you become aware and then you start relaxing and releasing as you're aware and you start cleaning yourself out and it starts to build this virtuous cycle.

Thank you for listening. Appreciate you all. We'll talk to you soon.