"Asking ourselves these hard questions can be difficult." ~ Are You Caught in a Cult? Part 3
Looking closely at something we've trusted takes courage, and it's okay if that feels tender. Part three offers a few gentle questions for reflection, a chance to pause and check in with your own sense of what feels true, at whatever pace feels right for you.
Part four continues with what comes next.
Takeaways:
I outline specific questions to assess whether loyalty to a group overrides my personal moral compass and truth.
We describe common leader hypocrisy, including private behavior that contradicts public teachings, and how that signals abuse.
I explain how information may be altered, miracles fabricated, or facts twisted to serve leaders' personal objectives and commit fraud.
We identify classic con tactics such as manufactured urgency, fear inducement, specific demands, threats, deflection, and rapid emotional pressure to ensure obedience.
I acknowledge that recognizing deception and leaving is painful, and I advise seeking our next guidance resource and support contact information.
Welcome to the Back2Better audio blog where we take life one day at a time.
Speaker A:
This week's topic Are you caught in a cult?
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The Questions to Ask this is the third in a seven part series.
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If you or someone you know feels like they may be in an unhealthy, controlling environment, here are some questions to ask with the purpose of gaining clarity.
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Does loyalty to that group override my own moral compass, causing me to believe things that no longer align with truth?
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Is anyone getting hurt by the organization through harsh words or actions?
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Am I seeing hypocrisy?
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For example, the leaders may deliver a good message, but perhaps they don't live by it.
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This could involve fasting or a diet they promote, but yet they eat the forbidden foods privately.
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They ban certain movies or programs, yet they indulge if they get caught.
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They convince people they were watching for research purposes.
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They require sacrifice from the group, but either hoard money or spend as they please.
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They excuse foul behavior from their own family members, but punish others harshly.
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Has information been altered?
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Perhaps false news about other people?
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Instances, world events, maybe fake reports of miracles?
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Are they adjusting truth to achieve their own goals?
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Are they conducting fraud to fix outcomes?
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God wanted me to have this money.
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Have they twisted facts to accommodate the story they want you to believe?
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Do they require others to abstain from things like food, drink, sex, but they themselves do not?
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Are they taking unfair advantage of others for personal gain?
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Whether it be people or systems, asking ourselves these hard questions can be difficult.
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We may have been so attached to the cult family that we really don't want to believe what has been right in front of us all along.
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It can be as emotionally charged as coming to the realization that my partner has been cheating on me with my best friend for years and I never saw it.
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This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.
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It's painful and scary, yet necessary to be willing to look at the truth so we can see the lies that have entangled us.
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No one likes feeling as if they've been naive or taken advantage of by others.
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Another word for this is that we were conned.
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The term con man comes from the phrase confidence man and refers to a person who is really skilled at getting people to believe them in order to gain their trust.
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Once they have won them over emotionally, they artfully convince them to hand over money, property rights, etc.
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A con man may be a woman and can also be called a grifter or a scammer.
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They trick people into believing lies and leave them holding an empty bag of unfulfilled promises.
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The telltale signs of a con man are these.
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They act as if they are a trusted person with a history of success.
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If anyone did a deep dive, they would discover none of that is true.
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It is indeed an act well played.
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To deceive people, a con man creates intense urgency.
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This is manufactured to pressure people into doing exactly what they what they want quickly.
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The con man doesn't want anyone to have time to think.
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They want action taken immediately so they can benefit.
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By the time anyone can process what happened, it's too late.
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The con man uses fear.
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This creates an emotional hook to the one listening to the con.
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Then the use of an immediate psychological jolt causes people to feel that they are about to lose something if they don't follow his lead, do what he says, and do it now.
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They use specific demands.
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They want our allegiance, our money, our buy in, our donation, our vote, our presence at their event.
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They want our commitment.
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If you don't obey, there will be hell to pay.
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Threats are not uncommon and are generally tailored to the targeted crowd that the Khan has in his sights.
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They use deflection.
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The Khan may accuse other people of doing what he's doing in order to get the victims to look the other way.
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He wants them to focus on someone else's behavior so they don't realize what is really taking place.
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Now that we realize the signs are there and we may have been pulled in unknowingly, what do we do next?
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I invite you to read or listen to our next audio blog titled what's next?
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Are you caught in a cult?
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Part four.
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To learn more, this information has been provided to help people who have been drawn into an unhealthy, controlling environment.
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If you wish to learn more or care to share your story to help others, please contact [email protected] the back to.
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Better Audio blog is based on the blog at glueyourlifebacktobetter.com and produced in partnership with Brilliant Beam Media.
