Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last time we were together, we discussed the risks of staying in the comfort zone. The comfort zone is all about what is known. It is the place or situation in which we feel at ease and without stress.
For a reminder, if we fail to heed the risks of the comfort zone, we fall prey to only feeling over doing - our sense of ease over taking action. The good of the comfort zone is that we see that our being - our very existence - is more important than any action we could ever take. Being over doing is the good of the comfort zone.
A good biblical example of the good of the comfort zone is Mary of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary stopped her “doing” and entered into a place of “being.” She sat at the feet of Jesus, focusing on the very purpose of life and her existence within His kingdom. Our families are to be comfort zones like when we sit at the feet of Jesus. Our family comfort zone offers safety, security, peace, rest, and support.
Let’s start with the first two: safety and security. Those words are often used together, almost synonymously as adjectives, and while safe can also only be a noun and secure can also only be a verb, safe and secure (safety and security) are two sides of the same coin. Safe or safety is more readily defined as the personal feeling or condition of being free from harm whereas secure or security more readily involves the act of protection the efforts or measures that are outside of the person.
Proverbs 18:10 demonstrates that “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” When the family holds tight to God’s word and his power, the family comfort zone should be secure. Job 11:18 “And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security.”
How? When a family member is struggling, the family comfort zone allows for a space that is both safe and secure. Think of a child being bullied at school. Having home a respite where the child knows he or she will be able to relax and know that others cannot hurt them there is part of the job of being a parent. Moms and dads, this means that you MUST be monitoring your children’s devices, especially if your child has any social media, texting, or gaming app that allows for more than pre-fab comments. Home is not secure if people are allowed to attack us from the false anonymity of their devices.
Next, the family comfort zone should offer peace and rest. A website I found summarized the difference this way, “Peace is a state of calmness and tranquility, while rest is a physical or mental state of relaxation or recovery.” John 16:33 reminds us of God’s peace, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” And, in Exodus 33:14, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
How does a family comfort zone provide peace and rest? First, we need to remember that we are all wired differently. Some family members will need much more sleep than the others. Some will need quieter spaces to find their peace and rest whereas some will feel rested after a fun, loud family game night. To have a family comfort zone that works for each of you, you will need to stay observant and open to different options as needed.
And, lastly, a family comfort zone must offer support. Support means to bear all or part of the weight of something. It means to literally hold up if needed. Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Every single one of us will need support at some point in our lives. By choosing a family life of one anothering, a family member will always know that even if they mess up royally, they will have the loving support of their family, and yes, that even includes holding them accountable for any bad behavior. God calls us into His righteousness, so support is holding one another up even when we must face the full consequences of our bad actions.
Five minute families, is your home a comfort zone? Can you find peace, rest, safety, security, and support from one another? Take a breath, read God’s Word, and ask for forgiveness if you haven’t created a positive and encouraging family comfort zone. Be blessed!
