In this episode of Reclaim The Pink Within, I open up about my own journey into motherhood and the belief that I had to do everything on my own. Like so many moms, I bought into the idea that needing help meant I wasn’t doing enough. Over time, that mindset started to fall apart, and I realized that asking for support wasn’t a weakness—it was wisdom.

Motherhood challenged my identity in ways I didn’t expect and pushed me to embrace vulnerability, let go of unrealistic expectations, and lean into what truly lights me up. This conversation is a reminder that we were never meant to do this alone, and that community, honesty, and connection make the journey not just manageable, but more meaningful.

Key Takeaways:

1. Motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone, and releasing the pressure to “do it all” creates space for a healthier experience
2. Asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not failure
3. Embracing vulnerability helps deepen connection and practice self-compassion
4. Community support isn’t a bonus—it’s essential for a more sustainable, supported motherhood

About The Host:

Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a family physician with a clinical focus on aesthetic medicine, women’s health, and psycho-education. Her work is grounded in a holistic, whole-person approach that integrates medical science with a deep appreciation of the mind–body connection. Alongside her clinical practice, she is deeply committed to medical education and mentors the next generation of family physicians through her work with the Department of Family Medicine at the University of British Columbia.

She is the founder of Reclaim The Pink Within, a community created to support women through life’s most profound transitions. This project was born from personal experience. After becoming a mother, Dr. Oliver-Dussault became aware of a quiet but profound shift in her sense of self, one she had long observed in her patients, yet only fully understood once she lived it herself. What had once been a clinical observation became a deeply personal insight, shaping the lens through which she now supports and guides other women.

You can connect with her on Instagram at @drchristellemd and @reclaimthepinkwithin

Website: www.getyourpinkbackproject.com

Email: [email protected]

Medical Disclaimer

The Reclaim The Pink Within podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared in this podcast reflects the personal views and professional experiences of the host and guests and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

While Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a licensed physician, this podcast does not constitute a doctor–patient relationship. Always seek the advice of your own qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical or mental health concerns, diagnoses, or treatment decisions. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice because of something you have heard on this podcast.

Thank You for Listening

Thank you for spending your time with us and for being part of the Reclaim The Pink Within community. This space exists because of women who are willing to listen, reflect, and engage in conversations that are often kept private. Whether you are in the midst of transition, questioning who you are becoming, or simply seeking connection, your presence here matters.

Your willingness to show up—for yourself and for others—is what makes this project possible.

Subscribe to the Podcast

If these conversations resonate with you, be sure to subscribe to the Reclaim The Pink Within podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts. Subscribing ensures you never miss an episode and helps support the continued creation of thoughtful, meaningful content for women navigating identity, change, and reconnection.

New episodes are released regularly, each offering insight, reflection, and shared experience.

Leave Us a Review

If you found value in today’s episode, we would be grateful if you took a moment to leave a review. Your feedback helps this podcast reach more women who may be quietly navigating similar experiences and wondering if they are alone.

Reviews not only support the growth of the podcast, but they also help normalize these conversations and bring them out of the shadows—where they belong.

A lot of these limiting beliefs we set ourselves or that I'd

set myself. They bring on feelings of guilt,

feelings of shame for struggling and

for needing help. I at times was also met

with some resistance when I tried asking for help. One of the key

learning things I learned throughout this resistance is that I needed to

leave the guilt and the shame behind and readjust my

mindset. I needed to accept that it's okay to ask for help

and that it takes a village to raise a family and that you will

need a tremendous amount of support if you're going to try to have a

career. At the same time, I also realized that there isn't one size

fits all. You can't give 100% in each facet of your life.

If you do or attempt to, you will burn out.

Welcome back. Today I'll share with you my personal

journey, my ever evolving pink journey.

When I was thinking which direction to go with this episode, I

thought it might be helpful to paint a picture of who I was before becoming

a mum. Some of you listening know me, others

don't. So who was I before becoming a mum?

I would have described myself as strong,

independent and full of life. I'm someone who's

always put a lot of passion into what I do. My my work, my

relationships, my hobbies. I had a fulfilled and very

vibrant life. I worked as a family physician in a busy

practice, had great friendships, a wonderful social life and a loving

relationship with my husband. I lived independently, with

purpose and direction. I thought

I was prepared for motherhood. Having cared for so many women

throughout their pregnancy, postpartum phase, having cared for

infants and children. I knew the

rhythms of my life would change my focus, my priorities.

But in all honesty, I wasn't prepared

for the shift that would occur. I wasn't

prepared for the guilt. I didn't

realize the unrealistic expectations I'd set myself.

I also didn't realize how much I valued my independence,

my my alone time and the role that I had

within my community. So let

me take you back to 2019 when my first daughter was born.

Those first few weeks are a blur. There were incredible moments

of bonding staring at this beautiful little being

we just created. In awe of the way she

slept, breathed, moved. There were sleepless

nights and worrying, asking myself, am I doing

this right? And we also happened to be packing up

our apartment at the same time. When she was four weeks old,

we moved into my mother in law's home. When she was six weeks old,

my husband moved to the west coast of Canada for his New job and

I followed four weeks later. During that time,

my grandmother also passed away. So

a lot of big life changes in a very small amount of

time. No time to process or digest

what was unfolding when I arrived to the west coast of

Canada, my maternity leave, which wasn't

really maternity leave, and I think for most women it isn't.

It really shouldn't be called leave. It's, it's hard work,

it's constant, no breaks. For me,

I was busy trying to look after my little girl, but I was also

dealing with filling immigration paperwork, getting our driving

licenses sorted, transferring my medical license to Canada from

Ireland. She came everywhere I went,

including job interviews. During that time, I kind

of felt invisible. I felt I wasn't able to go

as I pleased. I felt guilty for

wanting time to myself, to the point that I barely

knew how to ask. I deeply craved

space, yet felt this yearning to be close to my

daughter and felt

off if I wasn't near her. I remember talking to my husband about this

and explaining that I was starting to feel jealous of his commute to

work as it gave him 30 minutes to himself.

Then came the task of finding childcare.

I never realized how much fear I would feel trusting someone else I

barely knew to care for my daughter. I eventually found

a nanny and I opened up my practice in early

2020. This was just a few weeks before

all our worlds would change and we were

faced with a lot of uncertainty in the face of a global

pandemic trust. During that time, my days

were spent caring for patients, reassuring them as best I could.

My evenings and virtual meetings trying to stay up to date with the

quickly changing landscape of the virus, which left very

little time for my family and for me.

My nights were spent worrying, feeling lost,

feeling overwhelmed. I lost myself in my

work. I used up my empathy tank on my patients and

I had very little left for my family. I

never anticipated the guilt I'd feel

between trying to be a present mother and a

polished professional. I missed my

village, my close friends, many of

whom were also first time mothers navigating similar

struggles, motherhood, isolation and

their careers. I longed to meet them in person for a

coffee, to have them over, to see each other in our

raw, unpolished selves. I longed

for the safety to unravel without having to put on

a mask every time I went out in public. Not just a physical

mask because it was the pandemic, but you know, the type of mask, the one

that we'd all put out to make ourself presentable to the world.

Fast forward to 2021 and we find ourselves moving again,

relocating to where we live today, starting over once again

and looking for new work, looking for childcare, trying to find a more

sustainable way to both a physician and a mum.

My second daughter was born in 2022. I took a bit more

time. I asked for help and something that

I've always struggled with. But once again I fell into

familiar rhythms. I was trying to do

it all. I constantly felt like I was running on empty,

not stopping to take a breath. I felt like I was

just getting by in one aspect of my life

and if I was doing well in another, it meant that another part of my

life was failing. Parts of me

were holding on to and yearning for my old self.

I was mourning the woman I once was. But I

was also ignoring a lot of the changes that had happened. When

my youngest was nine months old, I started to break out into

hives. It started around my abdomen

and they would come and last for a couple hours and then fade.

I didn't think much of it at the time. It was summertime, they kept coming

and spreading, but the fact that they kept coming back was

concerning. And then I started to develop

severe lip swelling, thinking a very bad lip

filler job or like you've been stung by a bee on your lips.

And at the time

I wasn't really paying attention to the stressors in my life.

I convinced myself I had breast cancer.

I happened to have a lymph node under my left arm

and some very rare forms of cancer have skin presentations

and sometimes, you know, knowing too much isn't always helpful.

And I also kept flashing back to a patient I had

in my early career. I'd met her when

she was 34, along with her nine month old baby

girl, which was the same age as my youngest.

She'd presented not with a rash but with a lymph node under her arm

and was quickly diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.

So my mind spiraled. Luckily no underlying

cause was found and eventually the penny dropped.

I had to work on me. I had to navigate

the stresses in my life from a healthier place. And with

that work, the hives eased, as

did the chest pain and palpitations I had been ignoring

for months. Motherhood cracked me

open. It taught me the importance of the pause.

It showed me how awful I was at setting boundaries

and really struggled to say no. During this

time of self discovery and renewal, I came across a book by

Dr. Gabor Mate called When the Body

Says no. The Hidden Cost of Stress

and all of a sudden, everything started to make sense. You

see, our minds, our nervous system

is connected to our other bodily systems, so to our immune system,

to our skin, to our gut, to our endocrine system, which is our

hormone and system. And it has a way of telling us

when things just aren't right.

And if we're willing to listen,

it will point us in the right direction. The

more I started to listen to my body, the more I started to

recognize certain patterns and that things needed to change.

The change wasn't quick, it wasn't overnight,

it was slow, and it took a whole lot of

self reflection and realignment.

Personal growth emerged as I healed and faced some of the

limiting beliefs that I had set myself. Entering motherhood, I

had this mindset of I must and I can do it all

on my own. I shouldn't need help, I should be able to do this.

I, I put myself on a pedestal telling myself,

well, I am different. I can do this. I have the training to navigate this.

And a lot of women, most women think we all do

this. And recognizing that

wasn't a weakness as I thought it was. But

in time, I came to realize it was wisdom. It was

wisdom for me to recognize that the areas that lit me up

and the areas that I was less resourced

in because we were never

meant to do this alone. And a lot of these

limiting beliefs we set ourselves or that I'd set

myself, they bring on feelings of

guilt, feelings of shame for

struggling and for needing help.

I, at times was also met with some resistance when I tried asking for

help. One of the key learning things I learned throughout this

resistance is that I needed to leave the guilt and the shame

behind and readjust my mindset. I needed

to accept that it's okay to ask for help and that it

takes a village to raise a family, and that you will need

a tremendous amount of support if you're going to try to have a career.

At the same time, I also realized that there isn't

one size fits all. You can't give 100% in each facet of

your life. If you do or attempt to, you will

burn out. And I burnt out.

I wear many professional hats, and one of these is in

the realm of psychoeducation. There is an exercise

we do within that work that I found extremely helpful to me.

And this exercise entails writing down a typical

day from morning to nighttime. It's a little bit of an

energy audit. Beside each item you

write down, whether that activity or item that you have to do

energizes you, fills your cup of tea or if it depletes you.

So when I did this exercise, most of my days were filled

with depletion everything

on that list, while the majority depleted me. So I

was faced with a choice either to change

my mindset or change the way I organize my day

and my week. And it was really a mix of the two that helped

me. Making sure that I penciled time for myself in the

week. I realized that all my to

do's, everything in my schedule

was around everybody else. I didn't make any time or any space for myself.

I also realized that some of the more tedious things on my

list needed to be interspersed with some more energizing or rewarding

type activities. So for example,

evening routine. Who has to struggle to get their children to

bed? I find the bath time,

brushing of the hair, brushing of the teeth, putting on the pajamas and running around

while they don't want to put on their pajamas extremely draining

because I use usually have very lift very little left in the tank by the

time it gets to that time of day. But

bedtime stories, those I absolutely love.

So focusing on the bonding and the cuddles I get during story

time, that gets me through the madness of the

evening routine. I mentioned

that making time for myself is really important. And I think that's something as

mothers we forget. We don't tend to make

it to our to do list. And if we do manage to make it

our to do list, we're at the very bottom. So scheduling

myself in has been extremely helpful. We all have

our own quirks and our own mix of things we do just for us.

It took some time for me to realize what I was missing.

Because when you're in the depths of the chaos,

you sometimes forget who you are. You forget what you enjoyed in the

first place. So it started with very simple things

for me. Going for a walk by myself,

noticing what was around, what was in nature.

It meant opening up a book again and starting to read something

that I'd always loved to do and completely forgot.

And something I found quite hard at first, I was just so exhausted.

But eventually reading a couple of pages

turned into a couple of chapters. And then it became

a habit that once the kids are down, the nights that they do go down

at a reasonable hour and everything is done, I lie down in my

bed, I get a few moments to myself to read,

to escape. I'm someone who's also been

always been very creative and I'd ignored that part of me for a very

long time. It took reflecting back on what I enjoyed

as a child and trying to dive into those things. I

love to dance and I found a group of mums that enjoy the same

thing. And so for one hour a week initially,

I got to meet other mums who have the same passions.

And we get to dance let loose without any care. We leave

our cares at the door. That has been a lifeline.

Around the same time, something interesting happened

as I started to get back to me. And this to me

was a sign of, oh, I'm back. Here she

is. So one morning I was driving

up Highland Road on the way back from the school drop off and listening to

the music in the car as I usually do. But for the first time in

years, and I still can't remember how long I'd lost this,

I started to see movement, choreography,

color synesthesia, or more

specifically, chromaesthesia is something I've always experienced.

And if you're a dancer listening to this, you know exactly what I mean.

We often get our best ideas when driving or doing a mundane task that doesn't

involve much thinking. I bring this up because I

had lost this and I didn't even realize I'd lost it until I came

back. It was like a breath of fresh air. The

joy I felt in that moment, the. The realization that the

me I had known was still there

and starting to re emerge

was invigorating and brought me a lot of

hope during the pandemic.

So going back a few years, I didn't realize how

much the social isolation affected me. I'm someone who's always

enjoyed the company of my friends and I invest a lot in my

friendships. Not only were we separated by a continent

and an ocean, we also didn't even have the ability to make new bonds

within the pandemic. At the time. Zoom, FaceTime,

WhatsApp, they were lifelines. But now that things have opened up

and I've had the chance to connect with people where I live, it's shown me

the importance of that human to human contact and

connection. So where am I

now? I still have good days, I still have

bad days, but I'm better at recognizing when I'm feeling

overwhelmed and I'm including myself in my to do list.

Introspection has allowed me to get me to know myself,

know my new self. I'm clear on what matters to me.

I'm clear on what my priorities are.

Connecting with other women, speaking about my experience

and listening to theirs. Reconnecting

with activities that once brought me joy, scheduling me time

moving my body and getting out of my head, particularly when

it's a bit of a storm up there and supporting my

senses as silly or simple. That may sound nourishing.

What I see, what I hear, what I smell, what I touch and

feel, those are all things that I've helped. And

can you help? They ground me

because being a mom can be extremely rewarding,

but it's really hard. It can make you see life in

a different light, and it shows you facets of

yourself you didn't know were there. I cherish the moments of

connection with my girls. I'm learning to let go,

to ride the waves of chaos that come with motherhood

and take things one day at a time.

A big part of why I'm sharing my story and inviting others to share

theirs is. Is to break down the invisible barriers we've all

internalized, the ones that society still

holds us to. The more we name and

share these experiences, the more we normalize the

transformation of matricence and the complexity of becoming

a mother, we begin to honor the

transformation of matricence for what it truly is.

A rebirth, not a loss.

So if any of this spoke to you today,

please get in touch and share your story. Let me know if you've

experienced similar struggles. What's helped you navigate your

matrices? In our next episode, I will

interview our first guest, and each episode there

will be an everyday extraordinary woman to share her journey.

Until next time.