Transcripts
Speaker Name,Start Time,End Time,Transcript
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:Minerva Perez,00;00;00;12,00;00;31;15,"Hi. I'm Minerva Perez, Executive Director of OLA of Eastern Long Island, in partnership with WLIW-FM and The WNET Group. Tonight, we kick off a series of special programs drawing attention to the issues of mental health and addiction in our area with a focus on teens, parents, and health care providers. This three-part series aims to raise awareness about addiction and mental health to help people find prevention and treatment resources along with mental health support right here in our community."
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:Minerva Perez,00;00;31;15,00;01;07;06,"Funding for this program is provided by the New York State Education Department, WLIW-FM, and OLA. We start with a frank discussion with local teens who, with permission from their parents, offer their personal stories, and open dialog about the issue of mental health struggles, addiction and isolation due to COVID. But before we begin our conversation, we also want to share that if at any time you or someone you know needs help, you can call the New York Helpline at 988."
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:Minerva Perez,00;01;07;10,00;01;39;10,"Or you can call 877-HOPENY. Or you can text 467369. Or visit the New York State Office of Addiction Services And support the website at oasas.ny.gov. For youth ages 12 to 24, OLA's helpline can be texted in Spanish or English seven days a week from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. for substance abuse and mental health support. That number is 631-810-9010."
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:Minerva Perez,00;01;39;26,00;02;24;24,"A Spanish language transcription of this program is available on wliw.org/radio and olaofEasternLongIsland.org.
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:As a result of growing need and worsening gaps in mental health care access, OLA created Youth Connect, a bilingual and bicultural initiative that serves to support all middle and high school students through access to our helpline from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. seven days a week in Spanish and English. We also offer in-school workshops, parent workshops, and ongoing community engagement on this topic."
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:Minerva Perez,00;02;25;10,00;02;44;09,"Recently we were awarded a grant from Suffolk County to include opioid prevention, education and awareness into our Youth Connect initiative. Today, we are honored to have two very important guests to share their perspectives on this topic. We have Delani Beavers, a 16 year old student currently attending East Hampton High School. Welcome, Delani."
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:Delani Beavers,00;02;44;11,00;02;46;15,"Hi, thank you, I'm really excited to be here."
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:Minerva Perez,00;02;47;18,00;02;53;01,"And we have Karen Huachisaca, a 17 year old student also attending East Hampton High School. Welcome, Karen."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;02;53;13,00;02;55;00,Hi. Thank you for having me.
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:Minerva Perez,00;02;55;11,00;03;20;22,"Thank you both for choosing to be here today. You are both leaders among your peers and have a lot to share. I have personally watched you offer insightful, thoughtful and compassionate dialog and ideas on this topic, so I'm really excited to talk with you about this today. So we're going to jump in. You were both key facilitators at a parent workshop conference that we offered to help parents learn different approaches to support the adolescents in their lives."
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:Minerva Perez,00;03;21;06,00;03;24;21,"Delani, can you share a couple of the challenges that stood out to you?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;03;25;10,00;03;29;16,I commonly saw anxiety and depression parents were seeing within their kids.
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:Minerva Perez,00;03;29;27,00;03;39;13,"Okay. And we then broke up the parent group into a few different, smaller circles of parents. And you were with one of the parent groups. What did you do with that parent group?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;03;39;26,00;03;51;08,We worked on exercises in role-play to see how the parents would initially react to their kids coming to them or having issues. And then we altered it to see what would be more effective to help the child and the parent.
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:Minerva Perez,00;03;51;21,00;04;01;17,"Okay. So for something along the lines of depression, a parent seeing their child depressed, their adolescent depressed. Did you play the child or the parent in that role play?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;04;02;08,00;04;12;16,"I played the child and they would play- for the initial one, I'd be the child and they'd be the parent. And then we'd swap to show how parents- what a more effective way of reaction would be."
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:Minerva Perez,00;04;13;03,00;04;19;05,"So if you can remember back then, what were parents kind of not quite getting right?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;04;19;24,00;04;35;29,They weren't necessarily listening. They were more throwing things to fix the issue right away rather than working through the issue. They weren't as understanding as to how prominent these issues could be in the kid's life and how huge they could be to the child.
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:Minerva Perez,00;04;36;09,00;04;51;26,"But remember, the parents were the ones who actually wrote down these challenges. We asked the parents, hey, what's challenging out there for you and the adolescents in your lives? What are you seeing? And one of the areas was depression, that many parents seem to have written it on their little pieces of paper."
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:Minerva Perez,00;04;52;16,00;04;55;15,And then with anxiety- What kinds of role plays did you do with that?
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:Delani Beavers,00;04;56;03,00;05;13;28,"Parents asking questions to their child, like how they could help their child. Their biggest fears in the area of anxiety and how they could battle it together, work together to push through it rather than just telling them to work on it on their own that it's in their head. They found questions to more- be more understanding of what the kids are going through."
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:Minerva Perez,00;05;14;17,00;05;22;02,"Fabulous. Karen, what stood out to you? Among the challenges that you heard parents describe during that parent conference?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;05;23;07,00;05;37;10,"I think guilt was very surprising to me and really stood out to me because I realized that whatever the kids are going through, the parents feel guilty for. So that's a problem because it's-"
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:Minerva Perez,00;05;37;23,00;05;38;08,
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;05;38;29,00;05;41;13,It's not a good relationship.
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:Minerva Perez,00;05;41;29,00;05;48;22,It doesn't it doesn't really lead you anywhere because you had mentioned to me that some of the topics were related to eating disorders.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;05;48;28,00;05;49;13,Yes.
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:Minerva Perez,00;05;49;13,00;05;59;08,"And so with eating disorders, I know that you had worked on a couple of role plays there. Let's talk about some of those role plays and then how guilt is sort of a negative factor in all of that."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;05;59;22,00;06;22;11,"Yes, I for the role play, played the parent and the parent was the child. In the role play, I realized that it's very hard to communicate with a teenager because they just can't really seem to find the problem, like in them, in their selves and the parent, like they're just trying to figure out a way to like get them to see reason."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;06;22;11,00;06;25;23,But it's so hard. Like communication is not efficient.
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:Minerva Perez,00;06;26;06,00;06;29;20,Mhm. And so then how does guilt kind of play into all that?
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;06;29;25,00;06;39;22,I think parents feel guilty that they can't help their child and they can't help their child figure out what's going on with them. And they think that it's their fault that they're going through this.
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:Minerva Perez,00;06;40;01,00;07;01;04,"Mhm. And I think that what we hear also from parents is that ... and as a parent myself, sometimes the feeling of guilt can be so encompassing that it- it's exhausting and it kind of feels like you're actually doing something because you just feel guilty. But in reality, what you're doing is just putting more weight on the shoulders of your child."
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:Minerva Perez,00;07;01;13,00;07;10;26,"Because they don't want you to feel guilty. I mean, you and I were talking about that a bit, that it's not helping them, that the parent is feeling guilty. It doesn't lead anywhere."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;07;11;05,00;07;22;25,"Yeah, I think it doesn't lead anywhere, because whatever the parent feels, the child would also feel it's the same way as whatever the child is going through. The parents will feel it. And, you know, they feel guilty about it, although it's not their fault."
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:Minerva Perez,00;07;23;03,00;07;25;19,Mhm. So it's just the cycle that doesn't get anywhere.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;07;25;21,00;07;26;05,Yes.
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:Minerva Perez,00;07;26;14,00;07;30;03,And you had brought up a word to me when we were talking: equilibrium.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;07;30;13,00;07;30;26,Yes.
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:Minerva Perez,00;07;30;27,00;07;32;18,And you feel that there needs to be more of that?
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;07;32;25,00;07;53;17,"Yeah. What I mean by that is that parents should control their emotions in order for their kids to control their emotions as well. Parents need to not feel guilty in order for teens to not feel guilty. You know, you need to have, like, stable emotions in yourself. You need to be, like, emotionally okay."
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:Minerva Perez,00;07;53;25,00;08;18;22,"Which is hard as a parent. So I'll say that. But it's true. And and if and if our goal as a parent is to protect and sort of create this environment where, whatever our child is going through, that we're able to support and bring them the support and the help that they need, whether that's mental and emotional health support, whatever kind of help that we need to be able to be kind of solid or at least recognize when we're not feeling solid."
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:Minerva Perez,00;08;18;26,00;08;23;19,"So we don't bring some of our worst emotions, you know, to the table. Delani, what are some thoughts that you have on that?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;08;24;17,00;08;43;00,"On parents and children being in equilibrium with their emotions? I think that's really fair to say because children are sometimes a reflection of how their parents act and how they deal with emotions. And so if a parent is able to feel stable within themselves, like Karen said, I think that would reflect on the child as well, to know how they could deal with their own emotions."
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:Delani Beavers,00;08;43;07,00;08;52;16,And just working together to explain how parents' actions and child's actions affect one another would really just create a better relationship and a more stable groundwork.
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:Minerva Perez,00;08;52;24,00;09;11;14,"Wonderful. Wonderful. And I would think anyone listening to this, I mean, in terms of reaching out to either nonprofits in your area or other resources that you can find out about. But I think it's important that we recognize there's a lot to learn. And we're always learning, especially as parents. We're always learning I wanted to move on to the area of teen challenges."
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:Minerva Perez,00;09;11;23,00;09;26;07,"So Karen and Delani, share what you're seeing to be some of the most concerning mental challenges that your peers are facing, whether they're peers in the school that you're in right now or other schools, but your peers. What are some of the challenges that you're seeing presenting themselves?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;09;26;29,00;09;44;10,"I believe peer pressure is a big challenge for teenagers because we're still learning about ourselves, we're still growing, and the fact that we get pressured to do certain things that are not okay can really lead to problems and mental problems as well."
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:Delani Beavers,00;09;44;25,00;10;03;27,"Yeah, I agree. I think peer pressure can be seen in lots of ways. I think a way that we see it is also living up to a standard or putting yourself at a standard that you see others should be, as in with grades and schoolwork. I think there's a lot of pressure and it builds a lot of anxiety within students to just be as best as they can."
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:Delani Beavers,00;10;03;27,00;10;10;05,"But while they're trying to be as best as they can, they disregard the things that are just as important, such as mental health and self-care."
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:Minerva Perez,00;10;10;15,00;10;30;08,"So with those kinds of challenges that everyone's going to have, peers are going to have, and maybe at a higher degree, we certainly are reading a lot more in the news and hearing a lot more about heightened challenges that teens are experiencing. And at least it seems to be put out there in the public and not downplayed as much."
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:Minerva Perez,00;10;30;09,00;10;46;24,"I think it was being downplayed a lot more before, and now it feels like- it's terrible, but it feels like the worse it gets, people are finally actually listening. What are some good and positive coping mechanisms that you would share, whether they're your own or that you've seen work? What are some positive coping mechanisms?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;10;47;15,00;11;02;01,"I think talking to someone, either your therapist, a trusted adult, or even a trusted friend that's mature enough to understand what you're going through. Or maybe a simple thing as just writing it down in a journal could really help."
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:Delani Beavers,00;11;02;13,00;11;16;28,"Yeah, I'd agree. If you don't feel like you have a trusted adult or a trusted friend, because you guys are both going through something difficult, I think writing it down is a good way to see what you're going through and just feel it and try and take the steps to be better. Or talk to a trusted adult or someone that you feel like you can confide in."
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:Minerva Perez,00;11;17;17,00;11;44;22,"What about any of the other stuff? What about any of the... Well, here's the thing that I think everyone loves. When a parent says to them, [sarcastically] ""just go out and take a walk, take a walk around the block."" I mean, some of these things can maybe be good, but what other are some other mechanisms to cope? Maybe you don't have that trusted adult, that trusted person with you in a moment and you're really having a hard time. Are there are other mechanisms to cope that you found are healthy and work?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;11;45;01,00;12;03;11,"I think some simple things that I know lots of teens do, just turn on some music. Any music is kind of uplifting and I feel like words have power. You can just put on headphones or play it from your phone or computer and just try to get yourself out of any funk or emotion that you're in. But it is much easier said than done."
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:Minerva Perez,00;12;03;28,00;12;11;13,Mhm. So we'll switch it up a little bit. What are some of the negative coping mechanisms? We certainly know that they exist. What are some examples of those?
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:Delani Beavers,00;12;11;19,00;12;39;00,"Definitely drugs and alcohol and just harming yourself. I think that's a common thing that many teens go through because our brains aren't fully developed and there's so many things going on in our lives. It's just, quote-unquote, ""the easy way out."" It seems like it's really attainable rather than getting help. Seems like a really long process and journey to be better while turning to these bad coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, harm, just seem like an easy way to numb the pain for a second."
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:Delani Beavers,00;12;39;06,00;12;42;10,I think that's really common and it just seems really easy for teens to go to.
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:Minerva Perez,00;12;42;15,00;12;43;06,Mhm.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;12;43;19,00;13;12;09,"I think silence and violence are really bad coping mechanisms. Silence, because most teens just, you know, they're silent about their problems. They don't like to talk about it. And that just fills them up with bad emotions in them, which lead to anger and then anger leads to violence. So I think another reason why teens are so, I guess, violent in some way, or aggressive, is because they're just going through so much stuff and they have strong emotions in them."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;13;12;18,00;13;15;28,And I guess violence or aggression is just a way of letting it out.
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:Minerva Perez,00;13;16;10,00;13;43;10,"That connection between mental/emotional health, support, and finding a coping mechanism that might not be that healthy, you know, such as drugs or alcohol or self-harm, I mean, that's- the link between those two seems pretty obvious. But at the same time, I think it's- we're finally coming to the point where we can acknowledge that, so that the care that we're offering adolescents, it's not just the policing of the drugs."
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:Minerva Perez,00;13;43;18,00;14;05;08,"And then separate from that, the mental and emotional health support. I think there's more of a line being drawn to connect the two to understand that and I think from a parent's perspective, it's important that while you might not be happy with what your teen is doing and how they're choosing to cope, that it should be something that is opening up a conversation and not closing the conversation."
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:Minerva Perez,00;14;05;08,00;14;30;27,"And I think that that's where we need to make sure we're putting more attention and offering more support for adults. Parents, caregivers, whomever, to understand that those links are very important, and that it's not just about rebellion, or ""I'm going to do this cause I feel like it"", and not just about peer pressure all the time, but sometimes because there's no other way that they feel they can handle these massive emotions that they're going through."
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:Minerva Perez,00;14;30;28,00;14;47;15,"These massive emotions that are not just easily described away. And, you know. And do you- Given that, And to say that, let's say we would have access to mental and emotional health support, do you feel that there's a lack of access to this?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;14;48;13,00;15;16;16,"Yes, I do, because although we do have therapists, I think the lack of knowledge and I think information. I think people still believe that going to a therapist is something wrong or something for quote-unquote ""crazy people,"" which is not really okay. I think it's something that everyone in their lives should have a therapist, a person that they should be comfortable with talking to."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;15;16;29,00;15;20;09,"And, you know, it's it's a good way to just cope."
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:Minerva Perez,00;15;20;21,00;15;23;28,"And do we have the access that we need to that, Delani, do you think?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;15;24;02,00;15;39;27,"Some people do. Like Karen said, some people might just not want to go or the access is kind of hard So also going to people in school, that's a little difficult because some teens, we just don't know what's wrong with ourselves, we don't know what we're feeling. Like you said, our emotions are so massive, so we don't even know where to start."
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:Delani Beavers,00;15;40;08,00;15;48;20,So that starts questions that don't really lead to any answers. We don't have the answers to go to somewhere. So I think it's hard to access the mental health that we need.
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:Minerva Perez,00;15;48;25,00;16;10;12,"Mhm. And I'll speak to the fact that there are certainly not enough bilingual, bicultural, I mean, in our area, in our particular region, not having access to enough Spanish speaking mental health providers is really terrible. And so we are hoping to see more and more of that kind of access. Also a point that got brought up, I think maybe by both of you at some point,"
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:Minerva Perez,00;16;10;13,00;16;30;03,"was how much- and we see it as well when we're doing our teen workshops in the schools, how much adolescents are leaning on each other. How one adolescent that we spoke with was the go-to person for, I think, three of her friends who were seriously depressed to the point of self-harm and more, and yet she was the one that they went to."
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:Minerva Perez,00;16;30;09,00;16;35;03,"They didn't go to anyone else. And so why is that dangerous, Delani, do you think?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;16;35;05,00;16;52;15,"Because all those emotions putting on one person especially another teen, a friend, feels like they have the weight of the world on them and they can have things going on in their own lives as well and feel like they have no one else to go to because they are that person and it's also really difficult to deal with everyone's emotions while also trying to deal with yourself."
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:Delani Beavers,00;16;52;15,00;16;54;05,You get lost in all of it.
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:Minerva Perez,00;16;54;08,00;17;09;27,"And in all of this, what about anonymity? How important is it for an adolescent to feel as though they have someone to talk to who's truly going to either hold their anonymity or their confidentiality? How important is that, do you think, in a person reaching out for help?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;17;10;08,00;17;23;18,"I think it's essential, because if you have someone you can trust and talk to, I think so many bad things wouldn't happen because if you actually spoke to the person about the problems you were going through, maybe you were able to find a solution with that person."
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:Minerva Perez,00;17;24;08,00;17;41;11,"And ideally that's going to be a trusted adult or someone or even a professional mental health provider, so that that person really knows how to handle kind of where you're at and how to guide you best. So let me ask you this question. So middle school can be seen by adults as a relatively safe and sheltered time for children."
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:Minerva Perez,00;17;41;12,00;17;42;02,Is that true?
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;17;42;08,00;17;42;29,I believe not.
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:Delani Beavers,00;17;43;00,00;17;44;05,"No, I do not believe that is true at all. No."
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:Minerva Perez,00;17;44;05,00;17;54;07,"Yeah, I'm sitting between both of you shaking your heads. Absolutely not. So tell me a bit more. So, Karen, tell me why that's just not true."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;17;54;08,00;18;13;27,"I'm going to talk about my personal experience. I just think that middle school was my time where I found myself, where I went through a roller coaster of emotions. And I really went through some things that, you know, changed my mindset. I got a bunch of mood swings. So I think I'm better off in high school than I was in middle school."
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;18;14;01,00;18;17;05,I grew more in middle school than I am in high school.
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:Minerva Perez,00;18;17;13,00;18;18;08,Mhm. Mhm.
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:Delani Beavers,00;18;18;15,00;18;41;13,"Yes, definitely. Middle school is like, that's a huge transition from elementary to middle school. You feel much more older than you actually are. So you feel like you're so much older. But then all the emotions and the changes come at you all at once. And I think it's much more difficult than people think. All the growing and the emotions that you're just putting out on everyone else and yourself are just- there's lots of hurt in lots of change in middle school."
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:Delani Beavers,00;18;41;13,00;18;44;16,And I don't think it's the safest place because everyone's going through that.
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:Minerva Perez,00;18;44;28,00;18;46;10,Everyone's going through it at the same time.
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:Delani Beavers,00;18;46;10,00;18;47;03,"Yes, exactly."
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:Minerva Perez,00;18;47;03,00;19;05;16,"And it does seem as though sometimes in those environments, especially in school environments, that there's a desire to keep that- and maybe there's a better word- to sort of keep that innocence, or keep the difficulty off your shoulders. And it can be- it can feel and seem to an adult as a warm and inviting and a safe place, location."
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:Minerva Perez,00;19;05;22,00;19;18;09,"But what's going on internally? And what's going on, like you said, Delani, is that everyone is kind of experiencing this at the same time. It's not that safe. It doesn't feel that safe for you as you're living it. Is that correct?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;19;18;10,00;19;19;23,"Yes, that's correct. Definitely."
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:Minerva Perez,00;19;20;05,00;19;26;17,"How would we describe that? I mean, you kind of did, but how would we describe that to an adult that says, ""yeah, but you're a little kids. You're like, look how little you are"""
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;19;26;24,00;19;37;13,"Well, I think that middle schoolers look like kids. They definitely do. They act like kids as well. But I don't think they feel like one and I don't think that the problems they're going through are kid-like problems."
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:Minerva Perez,00;19;37;22,00;20;00;05,"Mm hmm. I'm going to ask you the million dollar- actually, not even million dollar because, you know, inflation and all that, this is like the mega-billion dollar question. If you had those kinds of funds and you were going to start to do what needs to be done to support the teens, support teens as they need to be supported, what would be some of the areas that you would start in on first?"
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:Minerva Perez,00;20;00;07,00;20;02;04,"Delani, what's one of the first things that you would do?"
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:Delani Beavers,00;20;02;15,00;20;16;19,"I would make it mandatory to have the first period of school be meeting with a mental health provider or a trusted adult, or someone, just mandatory for school to start off that day by talking to someone and letting anything out that you're holding on in that morning."
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:Minerva Perez,00;20;17;01,00;20;17;25,"And how about you, Karen?"
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;20;18;00,00;20;29;21,"I'm going to talk a little bit about that as well. I think having a therapist. I would give every teenager or middle schooler a therapist, their own therapist that they can talk to in their language and everything."
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:Minerva Perez,00;20;30;02,00;20;51;15,"I love that. In general, it's been brought up to me that creating more of a positive environment, not just in school, but also at home in every capacity possible, that we're kind of recognizing what the difference is between a positive environment and a negative environment. That's something that I feel that you've mentioned to me and that's very important Karen."
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:Minerva Perez,00;20;51;29,00;20;57;21,Can you share with me some ways that you would see the difference between a positive and negative environment? Let's just even say at home.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;20;58;09,00;21;28;07,"I believe that, you know, parents learning to control their emotions is a big thing for a positive environment because, you know, teenagers, we can get angry, but we follow our parents emotions as well. So if a parent reacts in a bad way, a teenager will react in a worse way. So I think controlling our emotions and being able to just calm ourselves down when something bad is happening at home. I think it's a really big thing to keep a positive environment, you know, just being able to communicate and not fight."
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:Minerva Perez,00;21;28;11,00;21;35;10,"And the last couple of words from you, Delani, on ways that we can make it better for ourselves and also we can, you know, guide people in that."
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:Delani Beavers,00;21;35;22,00;22;00;27,"Just be really open with communication, ask how the parents are feeling, ask how the child's feeling, just making the home feel open for everyone to be real with how they're feeling in their emotions so that there's no gray area and that everyone can grow together rather than just being by themselves. Like Karen said, you reflect a lot- kids are a reflection of how parents act. So if the parent is open with their emotions and is willing to communicate then so will the child."
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:Minerva Perez,00;22;01;05,00;22;27;14,"And listening. I've been hearing that a lot, that parents often times are ready with a response because they're not actually listening. They're just ready with their response. So good on all sides for everybody to truly practice active and empathic listening with each other. But I want to thank you both for being here and for being so honest and brave and keeping this topic high on your list of public discussion even. Thank you both."
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:Delani Beavers,00;22;27;24,00;22;28;09,Thank you.
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:Karen Huachisaca,00;22;28;09,00;22;28;25,Thank you.
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:Minerva Perez,00;22;29;27,00;22;59;07,"I'm your host, Minerva Perez, Executive Director of OLA of Eastern Long Island, in partnership with WLIW-FM and the WNET Group. Thank you for listening. Tomorrow night, we hear the perspective of parents grappling with some of the same issues related to mental health, addiction, and COVID isolation. We want to share with you that if you or someone you know needs help, you can call the New York Helpline at 988."
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:Minerva Perez,00;22;59;21,00;23;32;26,"Or you can call 877-8-HOPENY. Or you can text 467369. Or visit the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports website at oasas.ny.gov. For youth ages 12 to 24, OLA's helpline can be texted in Spanish or English, seven days a week from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. for substance abuse and mental health support at 631-810-9010."