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Description

What happens when dreaming feels out of reach because daily life is so heavy?

This conversation sits with the steady, sometimes invisible work of walking alongside young parents who carry more than meets the eye. Their stories invite us to pay attention to the small gestures that build real community—the quiet courage to trust, to stay, and to share even when nothing feels easy.

Time Stamps

03:45 Starting a teen moms program

09:12 Moms supporting each other

10:07 Building and relying on community

13:36 Learning to build trust

19:39 The importance of choice and dignity

22:14 Supporting new moms and babies

25:25 Giving and receiving in community

Guest Links

https://yfc.ca/winnipeg/program/young-parents/

Other Links

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Email: podcast@careimpact.ca

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Their dreams are more, you know, having enough food, having

a safe house, having a yard for the kids to play

in. Just safety and stability. Some

of them have some dreams about things they'd like to do.

Most of the time, it's how to make the system work better. And

I think some of them will be system changers one

day once they can think further than the

present moment. Some care is easy to

notice. A meal dropped off, a gift given,

a moment that feels complete. But most care

doesn't look like that. I'm Johan, producer of Neighborly.

In this conversation, Shannon sits down with Deb Richards,

someone who has spent years walking alongside young moms, many of

whom are caring more than we ever see. There are no quick wins

here, no instant transformations. Just the

steady work of showing up, building trust, and staying when

things are hard. And over time, something

begins to grow. Not just support, but community.

A kind of care that doesn't fix everything, but makes sure that no

one is carrying it alone. Let's join Shannon at

the table. Good morning, Deb. I am so glad

that you are here today on the podcast. Well, you

are just such an incredible leader

in our community, really. You work at

Youth for Christ and are overseeing the Young Parents program.

And I can't wait just to hear some of your background and your

stories of how you've gotten into this. But first, we always start off

with the same question for everybody growing up, who was a neighbor

that you'll never forget? My best friend's

parents. They were my favorite. They just welcomed everyone in,

and the house was always light.

There was a lot of laughter. They loved to be silly. They loved to tease.

Everyone was just brought in with one big, giant hug.

That is beautiful. It's crazy how

much we remember how people make us feel,

whether it's somebody that we, you know, you had a relationship

with that family or if, you know, even just strangers. Like, we never forget

that. And it's so neat how that

stayed with you. How old were you, I guess, when you first met them?

Eight, maybe? Yeah. Okay. Well, I'd love to hear a little

bit about how you found your way into the work

you're doing now. Where did that. That start from?

And why are you here?

Yeah, it started back in high school. You know,

one of my good friends found herself pregnant,

and I lived in a small community,

and it was a very churchy community. And

I was scared for her, that she'd have a lot of judgment. And

instinctively I just was like, she needs support, not judgment. You

know, that just always stayed with Me, and I just always had that soft spot

for teen moms, for people who

found themselves suddenly on the outside, for people who needed

a lot of support. And so it was always kind of playing

in the back of my heart of like, I'd love to serve

young teen moms and help them get established, help them

stabilize. And so I

first heard about the Crisis Pregnancy center way back in the

day and started volunteering with them. Learned a lot through them.

And through them, I learned what love looks like in a

whole new way where you just, again, you walk into that space and it's

just love. And so

when Youth for Christ started a teen moms program way back

30 years ago, I helped get it started in our church

and worked with that for a while and kind of bounced in and out of

it as I was raising our kids and

then found that it wasn't really working for us. And I just needed

to get a job to help pay the bills and raise the kids. And

then I was feeling really bored and

unsettled in the job that I was at. And I was just like, God,

you've grown me so much, to the point where I just felt like I had

such a good relationship with him, and I just. I wanted to serve him.

I wanted to do more than what I was doing. And so

God brought this young mom as an intern to the place that I was

working at, and one morning he says, well, what about

her? Are you ready to go back and love the young mums again?

I was like, oh, let me think

about that. Because

it's not just a walk in the park. It requires a lot

of effort and showing up for people in hard spots.

Yeah, well, that's kind of what I was going to ask next. Like, I imagine.

I imagine you experience so much, and it's probably really

powerful to walk with these young parents. But what

keeps you showing up when the days do get hard or when

maybe you see setbacks?

Something that we do here a lot that my boss encouraged

me to do right from day one, was to keep something that he

called a journal of celebrations, or what sometimes I

like to call evidence of God at work. And really

it's a practice of noticing the little things.

Because when you're working with people that have experienced a lot

of trauma, that are often in crisis,

it's not a fast work. And so in order to keep

showing up every day and just walking alongside of them, you

have to notice where God is showing up. And it might

be that they responded to a message that you sent them.

It might Be that they actually showed up for group. Wow. It might

be that they shared something really hard with you or they let you pray with

them for the first time. There are so many things written in our

journal of celebrations over the year, you know, and often

it really is just those little things, you know, I mean,

holding a baby for the first time, being with a mom when she's

giving birth, all those things are amazing. And they're kind of

like those watershed moments where God, like, really shows up. Right. But

noticing in the hard, where God shows up, where

they're willing to just trust a little bit more,

where they've shared something hard and you haven't walked away, so

they trust you a little bit more. That keeps you coming back

and waiting to see what God will do. Yeah. I

love that you gave some of those specific examples of what

it looks like, because I think it's

easy for people to be drawn to ways to

serve that have kind of an immediate result and kind of instant

gratification. And that's not inherently bad. But

that longer term, walking with

somebody that, like, deep relationship, just being

consistent, that takes a lot of patience, I

think, and takes persistence. Can you tell

me about some of the young parents that you get to walk alongside

and what that's like?

There was a couple of moms way back in the day.

They were both 15 maybe. Wow.

And they were due about a month apart. They

came from very different backgrounds, but they really bonded over

their pregnancy, and it was really fun to watch. They were both so excited

to have babies. Aw. And

it ended up that they were both born same day,

nine minutes apart. So we affectionately called them our twins.

Yeah. And it was really fun to watch

these little girls grow up and also watch their moms grow up and

just walk with them through the good, the bad, and the

ugly, you know, just to watch them keep showing up for their

kids, be able to keep showing up for them and encourage them.

That was a real joyful time. I mean, there was lots of heart in

there too, but it just makes my heart smile when I think about them.

That was quite a while ago. That was near the beginning of when I started

at yfc. And, you know, some of the moms, like,

we've walked with them, one mom since the beginning of

COVID You know, I met her when she was 18 years old

and just had her first baby and just growing that trust

and she. She became the mom that invited all her mom

friends to come and get support and really build up the community,

you know. Wow. She's the mom that was always

looking for things and it was always for other people,

you know, oh, I know this mom who needs this. Can we go

get that for her? Yes. You know, can I, can we

go help this mom over here? This mom needs help, you know, and

so she's building up that village and

seeing beyond herself in so many ways, which was

really cool to witness. One of our favorite

things right now is watching how our moms come into community

and support each other. And we have like a chat that we

have going. And so one mom says, oh, I need prayer. And then

all the moms are like, I'll pray for you, I'll pray for you. They're sending

Bible verses, they're encouraging each other and

that just sometimes we just don't even enter that conversation because it's just

so beautiful to see them care for each other. They've built

that village for each other that they're not alone.

And so that is what everyone needs. They need a village. They

need people to be in their corner. Yeah, that's

been on my mind recently is my sister in law is about to have a

baby and they had. Daycare was closed. They have a two year old

also and daycare was closed for

spring break about a week ago and I was on the phone with

her and asking about, oh, where's my brother, you know, what's he up to?

And she said, oh, he's driving our 2 year old 4 hours

to my parents so they could watch him. During this

time that daycare was closed. And she says it takes a village.

And we hear that phrase. And

something I've been thinking about too is like, you have to be a villager

in order to have that village and being

willing to invest in others and receive

it. It's not one or the other. No, it really isn't.

I love, I love that. Even said sometimes you guys

don't even engage in that chat when, when women are supporting one

another because like that's the goal. I would, I would imagine, right,

that you are supporting women who then get to support each other.

That's incredible. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

And it always makes me sad when they isolate and don't let anyone

in because that's when things go wrong. That's when

you fall into a deep state of depression. That's when

life gets really, really hard. If you don't have anyone to share your burdens

with, I don't know how you do it. So we're

always encouraging them to like reach out, respond back. And

that's why even it's so important when you just get those messages back,

you know, because it's easy to just say, no, I don't want to talk to

anyone. But when you do reach out, your life automatically

just gets that little bit brighter. Right. And you don't feel so alone

anymore. Yeah. What are some of the

realities that these young moms are carrying that

people might not see? They're carrying

their childhood, their teenage years that didn't quite get lived

out how they thought. They're carrying a lot of

baggage. A lot of them have been through the foster care system themselves,

and so there's always that background fear of their

kids entering the foster care system. And

they know very well their experiences. And

while some foster experiences can be very

good, there can also be a lot of bad. And just that

separation from your biological family is

a trauma, even if it means that you're safer.

You never stop missing your parents or your

grandma. And so there's a lot of

articles going around about that gap of not

having a mother yourself and then becoming a mother. And

that is a very real thing. You never stop missing your

mom. And a lot of these

moms and the dads, they didn't have

stable parents growing up, or they were removed

for whatever reason. And so they're learning how

to parent without that mom to guide them without

that mom maybe to call when the nights are long.

So that's very real for them. And their

losses in their lives are very significant. And the

trauma is real. Jesus provides healing. But

when you've never had anyone that you can really trust,

how do you learn to trust Jesus? It's a slow process

when you think of how long it takes us. Like, for

me, I grew up in a Christian home learning about Jesus all my life.

And still sometimes it can be hard to trust.

Right. And so when you've never had that, it's that much

harder to trust. So that's why we really celebrate when they do choose to trust

us, you know? So, yeah, there's a lot of hidden baggage. And they're still trying

to get up every day and take care of their kids and just get

through each day. And there isn't a lot of room for

extra emotional energy. There isn't what we would think of

normal. Like, their normal looks completely different. And so, like,

the question is always, like, what do you want?

Where do you see yourself? Can you even dream right now?

If you have one dream, what is it? It's always about their kids.

I want my kids to be healthy and happy and safe. I want to

Give my kids everything I didn't have. I want to. It's all about their

kids every time. Wow. While you're talking

about that, something I wonder is how much of

what you're doing through this program is helping

people learn how to dream. Good question.

And I don't know, it just came to mind because I think about, you know,

so many people who are experiencing trauma

and. Or poverty that, you know, it can kind of be

like, I'm just trying to get through the day or get through the week and

provide the next thing that there isn't this even,

like, thought to consider or time to think about the future to think

about. Like, what are my dreams for myself? I guess. How do you see that

show up? Maybe that's a better question.

Yeah. That's something that is really hard.

And we sometimes do try to talk about it with them.

It sometimes goes farther than other times.

Sure. Depending on where the mums are at. Yeah. And again, they're not

dreaming about going to the moon or

traveling all over the world. Maybe in odd moments they

do, but their dreams are more,

you know, having enough food, having a safe house,

having a yard for the kids to play in,

just safety and stability. Some of them have some

dreams about things they'd like to do. Most of the

time, it's how to make the system work better. Yeah. And

I think some of them will be system changers one

day once they are

stabilized, once they can think further than

the present moment. Yeah. Yeah. In this podcast,

we've, over various episodes, talked a little bit about

CarePortal. And in the last episode, I shared

kind of some of my experiences, helping to oversee this.

This network of requests coming in and helping train

churches. And for those who don't know, the Young Parents

program, you and your staff sometimes are ones that

submit needs into care portals so that nearby churches can help

come alongside those moms and dads that you're serving.

Can you think of a time where a request went out and

something about the response stood out to you or

just a story from any of those connections?

Yeah. We've received quite a lot of support from Careportal. And whether it's like a

stroller or a crib or some groceries,

the moms are always really appreciative. This Christmas,

we got to try a new experiment with you guys with

having people buy gifts for our kids.

And I was a little hesitant at first, honestly,

but the response we got from our moms just really blew me

away. One of the moms, when I messaged

her to ask her if this was something that would be helpful.

She just said, thank you, Jesus. Like, this had

been such a heavy burden on her heart,

wanting to give her kids Christmas. Yeah.

And so knowing that

someone else was gonna go out and buy her kids

Christmas presents to make sure they weren't forgotten

on Christmas Day was

just such an answer to prayer for her. So when I asked her

what she thought her kids would like, she said, it

doesn't even matter. It's just that someone thought of us.

Wow. And you know what? It's really humbling

when you hear something like that, because we get caught up in our own

concerns and everyone does, but

just that mother's heart to want to do

good for her kids and not sure how she's going to do it. Right. And

then Jesus steps in. Yeah. With Christmas gifts. Yeah.

And that's a beautiful thing. Wow. Yeah. Another

mom from that Christmas gifts drive was.

She was thrilled that the person from the

church through careportal would like, message her and

also ask what her son would like and gave her choices.

Said, I was looking at these things. Which one do you think your son would

love? And that giving that mom a voice

to choose was a

wonderful experience for her. It wasn't someone just being like, ah,

here, here's something for you because you need it kind

of thing. It was treating them like valued

people. Yeah. You know, everyone wants to be seen,

known, and loved. Right. And so every time

you do something like that, you're adding value to their person. Yeah.

And so often I think for me,

it's. It's easy to take for granted the amount

of agency and choice I have when it comes to just

how I live. You know, I can choose, do I want

to go work at a coffee shop today, or do I want to work from

home, or, you know, do I want to make a coffee or

do I want to go buy a coffee? You know, like, just these, like, simple

choices. Or. Or even when it comes to, like, Christmas, like, oh,

thinking about, what do I want to get my mom for Christmas this year? Not

am I going to be able to give my mom. You know, I think it's

so important that we create ways for people

who often have a lot of choices made for them,

can have that choice and can have that

sense of dignity and that. That just being a human that

you. You can decide what do you want to give your kid this year?

And someone's going to help support you with getting that item,

but you get to choose what that is, and you get to wrap it and

give it to them on Christmas morning. That's community.

Yeah. And that even just the wrapping the gift yourself was something

that I requested for each of the gifts. Just like, send wrapping

papers, send tape, let the mom do the mom

thing. Every mom wants to wrap that gift to put it under

the tree for their kiddo. Yeah. And it's sometimes in those little details,

right? Like, yeah, just even in the gifts we

give them or in the ways we show up for them, sometimes it's just those

little details. You know, during COVID when we

couldn't go have group, we'd just go to them. We'd call it our coffee

ministry. And we'd just show up at the door with coffee and timbits and like,

stand on their doorstep and chat for 15 minutes just to make sure. Yeah.

That they saw another human face. Yeah. I love that we're talking

about again, kind of we said this at the beginning, but just how

people feel, because that makes so much difference.

When you feel supported, when you feel cared for, you can

ideally be more confident and feel like, okay, I might not have

all the answers for how to, you know, be a mom today, but

I, I, I know I have people in my corner and that I can do

it. So one question. Yeah, one question I have is what have you

learned that actually makes a difference in those early

parenting seasons? And as a mom yourself, I don't

have that experience. And so just from all that you've gotten to walk with people

through, what have you learned? Wow.

A lot. And I feel like also not a lot sometimes.

Yeah. Because every experience is new. Right. And so

you have the years of built up wisdom, but, but

not assuming that, you know, what they need would be

step number one, based on my own experiences in life,

like from my neighbor, from my grandma, of just being

that welcoming presence, you know, like

for every mom and child that walks through the door, you're excited to see them.

You're going to check in with them, you're going to make sure that they're

seen, make sure that someone knows them,

make sure that they feel loved. And so in those early days

of parenting, you know, celebrating with them, this

is a new life, this is their new child.

And it's someone that God has created and loves.

So rejoicing with them, having the privilege

to hold that new baby and to pray over that new

child and to bless them, sometimes bringing a

meal, sometimes just those texts

to say how it's going. For a little while, we had a doula

who could go and do all the supporting things

after children were born, and so she could go and hold

the baby so the mom could have a shower, she could wash the

bottles, she could help with nursing, you know,

do laundry. This last week, we had

a mom come by for a group. Her baby is a week and a half

old. She had that exhausted new mom look about her, and

she's, like, trying to hold it all together. And I said, right now, your only

job is, like, holding the baby, feeding the

baby, and keeping the baby clean. Laundry will

wait. Everything else will wait. Just, like, be good to

yourself. Yeah. You know, like every new mom, you need to

remember to be good to yourself, because life just changed.

You're doing something that you haven't done before. Even if you've had

three kids, this is a new child with new needs.

And your body's gone through a lot, so it's

doing what anyone would want done for them,

you know? And when you stop to think what has supported

you, then go and do that for someone else.

That's what being a village is about. When you've received,

give it back out to someone else. And, you

know, if you want to learn generosity, like, these moms

blow me away every time they're in the midst of

all their own stuff, and another mom comes in that's more

needy than them. They just love

her. Wow. They speak words of love over her.

They hold her while they cry. They stop everything

else they're doing to be there for them. Oh, you need this. I'll

give you this. Oh, there's. There's a homeless person over

there. I'm gonna give them this leftover food that program gave me to

take home. Like, their hearts are generous

to those who are also suffering.

There's so much to learn from them. That

kind of goes back to this idea of, like you said, not assuming what

people need. And so I think taking that a step further, of not having an

expectation that there's always others that need the help

and we're not. But actually, like, those that

were serving and loving and helping actually can serve in

love as well. And I think that's not always maybe

something we say, but I think sometimes this kind of internal, especially in

church communities, like you said, very churchy worlds.

And I love what you said that, you know, it might not

seem like on the outside someone has a lot to give, but then they

still give. I think that's really important that people understand,

is we can have a lot going on in our

world and a lot of needs ourselves, but that

doesn't have to stop us from finding ways To Care.

That's right. You know, all. All those ways you listed of sending a text or,

you know, making extra of your own dinner and bringing that to a

new mom or bringing that to your neighbor, all of these

small ways actually become. Become how we live

in community and how we be a village, just like you said.

Yep, exactly. Deb, thank you so much for coming

on today. I have just loved getting to hear your

wisdom. And I think about when I become a new mom, I'm going to have

to call you and. And get all the tips. You bet. Just thank you

for. For being willing to share. We are so blessed by

you and love that

through this ministry and through really

relationships, people are finding community and finding

hope. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And

you know, the community that is being built up in

Winnipeg to serve people, to serve families.

Care Portal being a big part of that and, you know,

all these other ministries that we work together with, like, that's building up

a village where none of us feel like we have to do it all

and we can go, oh, I can call so and so for this and they'll

help you with that. Just like we ask the moms to share their burdens with

us so that we can help them carry their burdens.

When we're all working together, the burden becomes lighter

because, you know, you don't have to carry it all. Right. So

I'm really thankful for all the different organizations that are

coming together in Winnipeg to create that village for each

other and for the communities that we serve. That's right.

The stories we share here remind us that CARE does not have to be perfect

to be powerful. It just has to be present Neighbourly

is an initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity equipping churches,

agencies and communities with technology and training to care better

together. This episode was produced by CARE Creatives Co, a

social enterprise of Care Impact. If you're building a podcast and want help with

strategy, editing or full production, visit CareCreativesCo

CA to connect with us. I'm Johan. Thanks for

listening and keep being the kind of neighbor someone will never forget

in a good way.

Breaking all chains When I see you

in a stranger I no longer stay

Turning over tables Tearing

down walls Building up the

bridges between the

souls of these Turning over

tables Breaking.