This episode is about how you try to force your body into routines that don't align with your natural rhythms.

From Abby, who spent hours on the toilet each morning, to others struggling with similar challenges, I share five diverse experiences illustrating the pitfalls of forcing your body against its will.

These stories highlight the importance of understanding and respecting your body's needs, especially when managing IBS.

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The information in this podcast is not medical advice and is not designed to treat, diagnose or provide personalised health advice. This podcast content is information only and any changes you make are at the user's own risk. Please consult with your doctor or healthcare provider before implementing any new treatment.

Client Abby first started working with me.

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She was stuck on the toilet

for about an hour each day.

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She felt she had to force herself to go

every morning because she was very anxious

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about needing a poo out of the house.

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She was trying to make her

digestion fit to her schedule,

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but it just wasn't playing ball.

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In this episode of The Inside Knowledge,

I'll share five different experiences

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of how separate clients Have been

trying to force their body to do

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something that ultimately it just

couldn't do all for different reasons.

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But maybe this is something that could

be relevant to you too, if you've got IBS

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and you're trying to manage it yourself.

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Welcome

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to episode 61 of the Inside Knowledge

Podcast for people with IBS.

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I'm Anna Mapson.

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I've picked this topic about forcing

your body to do things that you don't

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want it to do because it's something

I've seen more and more, or maybe I've

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just noticed it more, over the last

year with a couple of different clients.

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And I've picked five really different

examples of how sometimes our body

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wishes or our desires for our lives

just don't really align with our

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normal human physiology or the

current health conditions that you

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have, which could include IBS among

other health conditions as well.

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So what I mean by that is You have

desires and things that you want to do

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in your life and sometimes you feel like

you're being held back by your digestive

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conditions or other health conditions.

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I think there are three main reasons why

people with IBS experience this more.

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Firstly is that IBS is a kind of chronic

flaring type condition, so you never

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really know when it's going to be bad,

and that can be really challenging.

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It's hard to plan, so With some

conditions, you might have more of

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a sense of, it's every time you have

your period, or it's every time you get

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exposed to a certain deodorant, you get

a rash, or something like that, which you

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can know the results will be different.

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such a way.

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But with IBS, you don't always

know what will set off your

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trigger or when it will occur.

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So it's very hard to plan.

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The second thing is that it's quite

embarrassing and people don't really

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want to share much about how they

need to spend hours on the toilet,

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or they're going to need to go to the

toilet every 20 minutes because they've

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got diarrhea, or they're in work and

they're farting a lot and they're just

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embarrassed about the smell or the sounds.

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We have a lot of shame about

using the toilet and all of

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these different conversations.

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So that again, makes it very difficult

for you to navigate having IBS and

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moving through the rest of your life.

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And then the third thing is just that

our lives are quite stressful and,

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you know, you have your work, social

lives, travel, and all of these kinds

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of expectations that you will partake

in life and do all of these, you

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know, often very fun things and great.

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But.

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There can be quite difficult when you

have IBS and it can be quite difficult

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to explain that to friends and family.

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There are three kind of push and

pulls on our lives and sometimes

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we just want it all to go away.

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We want all the IBS to just not be there.

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So you try to put in place either a lot

of routines, tricks and scaffoldings and

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supplements and all of these things to

hold you in place and keep you going.

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Or you try and put in various habits that

are quite excessive, like I was mentioning

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sitting on the toilet for up to an hour

every day just to get a bowel movement.

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So those are the kind of things

I'm going to explore a bit today.

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The first example that I wanted to talk

about today is somebody I worked with

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who was a young woman who was running

her contraception pills month after

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month without a break, which is easily

possible to do and I think doctors will

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say it's okay to do that So she wouldn't

be having a period because when she

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did have a period it was inconvenient.

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She didn't really enjoy it So she just

started one pill pack straight after

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the other But, throughout working with

me, what we noticed is that certain

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types of digestive symptoms would get

worse around that time that the end of

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her pill packet would be coming along.

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So she was trying to kind of avoid having

periods by running the pill packets

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one after the other, but the digestive

symptoms would build up, and so her

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bloating would get worse, her water

retention would get worse, and to some

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extent mood symptoms would also worsen.

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Throughout working together, I was

encouraging her to try to allow time

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for your body to do what it needs to do.

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Now, I fully understand that when

you have a break in your pill

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packet, it is not normal period.

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It's not your body's

natural menstrual cycle.

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However, it does release

some of the hormones.

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In your womb lining, so as you

release them, it can change the

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levels of hormones in your body.

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Not for everybody, but for some

people, they feel better having

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a break in their pill packets.

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Although, there is a little bit of

research, I think, that means that it

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could be a little bit less effective.

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So actually, taking it every

single day for three months,

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in terms of contraceptive

value, may be more effective.

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But, for this particular client

Her problems that she was noticing

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was that she was getting a build

up of bloating, a build up of water

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retention around her middle and

hips, and also changes in her mood.

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And actually by changing that and

by doing the inconvenient thing, it

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helped her to get better control of her

digestive symptoms by doing something

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that was actually more inconvenient.

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The next two examples they've both got

an angle of trying to force your body to

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have a bowel movement first thing in the

morning in order not to have one later on.

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So the first example is somebody

who worked in a school and it

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was very difficult for her to

go to the toilet during the day.

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because she was face to face with a

lot of children and just couldn't nip

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out of the classroom in order to have

a long time sitting on the toilet.

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She was somebody who had more constipation

predominant symptoms and was really

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struggling to try and go first thing in

the morning so that she wouldn't have

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to face, you know, a lot of people.

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Having to go later in the day.

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She just kept saying it's

not convenient to go at work.

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I can't go at work it's not convenient

and This happens to quite a few of my

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clients because of the types of jobs.

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Whether they're in a medical setting

in a school or educational setting A

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lot of frontline jobs where you are

dealing with the public, maybe you're

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on a cash desk and you just can't

keep nipping off to go to the toilet,

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this makes it really, really difficult

to properly respond to your body.

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With this example, this client that

I worked with, she was really loathe

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to try and eat the way I was eating.

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suggesting or guiding her towards

which was increasing fiber and actually

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increasing the amounts of foods that

she had to eat because she was worried

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that it would lead to more trips to

the toilet later on during the day.

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So this is where we have one of the

conundrums, where the, the challenge is

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really is trying to force your body to

do something that is not biologically

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normal can lead to more problems.

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For example, not responding to your

body and not going to the toilet when

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you need to can actually lead you

to lose touch over time with that

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nervous, system impulse that says,

actually I need to go to the toilet,

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we need to go to the bathroom now.

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You lose that connection

if you keep ignoring it.

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In a way, it can kind of hold you

back from implementing the things

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that logically you know will help.

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So with this client I worked with, she

understood that she needed to eat more,

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she needed to eat more fiber and to

regulate her bowels better, but the fear

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of having this additional, inconvenience

during the day was very real.

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We had to talk through quite a lot

around In order to get an easier

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normal bowel movement that didn't

take 20 minutes sitting on the toilet

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that you could just go quickly get

it out and then go back to the job.

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That was going to make life much,

much easier in the long run.

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Although there was a period of adjustment

and a period of working out like how,

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effective the dietary changes are going to

be in order to normalize bowel movements.

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She needed to eat more fiber, more

food, to regulate her digestion.

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She needed to eat three

meals a day instead of just

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like one and a half or two.

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And these things did help, but there

was a big transition period where

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it was kind of getting easier in the

morning but still a fear that eating,

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pushing it too far, like maybe eating

too much might be quite challenging.

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The other example that I have which

is pretty similar is somebody who

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was just petrified about having to go

to the toilet outside of her house.

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She wouldn't even go to the toilet at

her mum's house where she'd grown up.

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Just really concerned about

anybody hearing, anybody smelling.

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Just the thought of anybody knowing

anything about her bathroom habits

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was just completely overwhelming.

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This person was also spending about It's

half an hour on the toilet every morning

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and having to leave a lot of time in

her morning routine in order to just sit

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there and wait for something to happen.

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Now she also wasn't eating enough

fiber and that was more down to the

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fact that she'd really prioritized

quite a heavy protein diet in order

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to meet training macros from the gym.

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Really trying to bulk up and lose

weight, but in order to do that had

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really deprioritized vegetables and

fruit and much more focused on muscle

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building protein and protein shakes,

but over time that had probably led to,

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slightly slow transit time and not enough

bulk to form a better bowel movement.

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The things that she needed to sort of work

on and accept was, again, like trying to

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cope with the thought of maybe going to

the toilet outside of the home, but also

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making it a lot easier so that if that

eventuality ever did occur, it wouldn't

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be such a nightmare because It wouldn't

take half an hour to go every time.

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So the root of those two was quite

similar, that it was needing to

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force your body to get it out

in the morning, even though it

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didn't really actually need to go.

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They weren't having an urge to

go, but they were doing it both

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for different reasons, but in

order to avoid the potential to

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go to the toilet later in the day.

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Now, my next client was almost the

opposite of this, who also wanted to

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control his bowel movement timing,

but was working from the opposite

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direction, and actually wanted to have

a second bowel movement every day.

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And almost needed to do that

in order to feel better.

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He felt that if he didn't have a second

bowel movement during the day, then he

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would become more bloated and it would

ruin his enjoyment of his evening meal.

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Which felt really stressful because then

he felt he had to restrict foods for

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his evening meal in terms of variety.

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So he had to eat very boring food

and so it was like, Oh, if I can't

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get this poo out in the afternoon,

then it means I'm going to need

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a really boring dinner again.

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So I've really got to get it out now.

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And so he was.

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Sort of scheduling this time and again

spending about half an hour sometimes

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just sitting there waiting for it to

happen When actually his body wasn't

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really Needing to pass another stool.

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There wasn't really enough or it

just wasn't always the right time.

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This urge to want to go twice a day,

and if you're not going twice a day,

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then it's not healthy, came from another

nutrition program that he had done,

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where they told him that it was good to

have more bowel movements, and so he'd

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really taken that to heart and really

tried to work on it, feeling that unless

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he was doing that, it wasn't normal.

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If you haven't listened to my very

first episode of this podcast, I would

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urge you to go back and do that, it

talks about what is a normal poo, what

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is normal digestion, and the reason I

started with that episode is often when

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I'm working with my clients, We're trying

to get to some level of normality with

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bowel movements, that's just the nature

of working with people who've got IBS.

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But, what's normal is not only just

to have a normal bowel movement once

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a day, it is often to have a day

where you don't go, or a day where

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you go three times a day, or something

that's out of the normal for you.

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That's also normal.

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Like, it's okay to have some range

of flexibility with different types

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of stools, different frequencies,

different timings, and yes, some

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people do go on the dot of 7.

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30 every morning and it's the same

shape and they pass it easily, but

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I would also say that's quite rare.

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It's quite normal for people to want to

go twice a day, or not to go twice a day.

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If that's the case, that's also okay.

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So go back and listen to that, What's

Normal, if you want a little overview

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of my thoughts what you can aim for.

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I think the reason I've chosen both

of those two examples, though, is that

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they're both examples of people wanting

to control their physical, biological

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processes in their body in order to meet

either Something that's come externally,

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that's telling you this is how your body

should be behaving, or trying to fit in

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with a kind of schedule, like a work

routine or, you know, social anxiety

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about using bathrooms outside of the home.

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The final example that I wanted

to bring up in this episode

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is a little bit different.

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It's somebody I worked with a few

years ago who lived on her own.

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She had a history of like

childhood trauma., had had quite

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a lot of anxiety in her life.

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We worked a lot on her digestive symptoms,

which were coming and going, you know,

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typical IBS symptoms like bloating and

constipation and gas and those kind

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of things, as well as abdominal pain.

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But the thing that she was trying to

Or the sort of routine that she was

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trying to mould her body into was

about drinking alcohol every night.

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So she loved to have a glass of wine as

she was cooking her dinner, relaxing,

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she just found it soothing at the end of

the day and she said it helped her sleep,

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particularly when she was on her own.

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She did have a partner, when they were

together they would often, have a few

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drinks and then when she was on her own

she would also have a few drinks and she

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felt like it helped her get to sleep.

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Although her sleep was also very bad

and she would wake up very early.

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Alcohol can sort of almost help you

feel like you're having a good

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night's sleep because you might drop

off to sleep a little bit easier.

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But it's a bit of a sedative

and it doesn't actually

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put you into a deep sleep.

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Anyway, that's a whole separate thing.

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Go back and listen to my sleep

episode on, episode 60, if

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you want an overview of sleep.

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Anyway, so this client that I was talking

about with alcohol, she found it very

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difficult to adjust to a new routine of

not drinking alcohol under my guidance

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because she felt that the alcohol was kind

of keeping her going and she didn't want

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to believe that the alcohol was in some

way contributing to her digestive symptoms

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because she also felt it was relaxing.

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This example is a bit different in

that she wasn't scheduling her body

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to do it in the same way, but She

had the same, kind of, expectations

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that her body should be able to cope

with a glass of wine every night.

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Because, for some of

her friends, they could.

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They can have a glass of

wine and they don't have IBS.

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So why shouldn't she be

able to cope with it?

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That was what she kept coming back to.

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It's unfair.

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That sensation that it's unfair.

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Why should you have to

deal with all this stuff?

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is also very common with anybody

with chronic health conditions.

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It does feel unfair.

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Like, why should you have to put up with

this stuff when somebody else doesn't?

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But the situation is that, that is

what your body is like at the moment.

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This is how your body is.

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This is your physiology, your genetics.

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And to get to a point where you

accept that to begin with, then

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you can work from where you are.

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So I'm not saying give up and everything

should just be accepted and you should

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learn to live with your symptoms.

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I don't mean that, I just mean

there's a level of accepting that

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This digestive condition that you've

got right now is affecting your life.

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It's probably stopping you socializing

as much because a lot of socializing

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is done around meals and drinks and

stuff, so you might be avoiding seeing

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people, maybe you're avoiding going on

holiday, maybe you're avoiding going for

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promotion because you know it involves

travel to a different city for example.

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When you get to a place where you can

accept that you have got IBS and what you

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need to do in order to get on top of it,

then you can start to make some changes.

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And sometimes it does involve making

some compromises with either expectations

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about what your body should and

shouldn't be able to achieve, and

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starting with the reality of where it

is, and maybe involves some compromises

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in terms of your wants as well.

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What you want to be able to do, you

might not be able to do all of that

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for a short time while you try and get

on top of your diet, your digestive

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regularity, you know, supplements,

anything that you can throw at it.

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It's a little bit like when you're

starting an exercise program and you just

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say, well, I should be able to run a mile.

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So therefore I'm just

going to go and run a mile.

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And actually it might not be the case that

you can, maybe you've got a knee injury

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or maybe you just haven't even walked a

mile for quite a long time, so there's

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no way you can start running a mile.

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That's what I mean by just being a

bit conscious of where you are now

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and where you want to get to and what

compromises you might have to make

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in order to get to a better place.

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Sometimes you have to make a choice.

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I'm going to be talking about how

to make small kinds of compromises

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in order to improve your digestion.

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And I guess that is what

I'm aiming this episode at.

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Anybody who is struggling with how

their digestion, and what they need

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to do to improve their IBS is not

fitting into their current lifestyle.

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There's no easy answers, I'm

afraid, and there's no simple way.

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I just wanted to talk about it, I suppose,

with a few examples, because maybe

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some of those will hit home for you.

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And if you want someone to help you

through all of that, I can do that, in

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my three month gut reset, which is where

I work with people online, over three

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months, from anywhere around the world.

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And we have loads of coaching

calls where we explore all

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of those kind of challenges.

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There's no one size fits all solution.

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Whatever works for you might

not work for somebody else.

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And that is why individualizing it

and personalizing it is really the

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only way to get on top of your IBS.

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Hopefully that has given you a few

things to think about for this week.

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, and so I'll leave it there.

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Thank you very much for listening to

this episode of the Inside Knowledge.

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Better digestion for everyone.