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#206 - Matrescence Will Change the World with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz
Episode 20610th August 2022 • Happy Mama Movement with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz • Amy Taylor-Kabbaz
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The Mama Rising Movement was born out of a desire to revolutionise the way motherhood is seen, valued and supported in this world because the world really needs mamas to rise. Since it’s birth four years ago I have wanted to tell stories of matresence far and wide, wanted to see success for women and connect us throughout the world. Because, at the core, matresence is an acknowledgement that we are not machines. We don’t just show up and do motherhood without a deep, significant and lifelong change. Afterall, we are divine complicated human beings who need to grow and grieve and figure it out together.

I reflect today on what Mama Rising has evolved to. What she is destined to become. The lives she has impacted and the lives she will impact into the future. Listen as I touch on:

  • The diversity, range and amazing community that has been built inside the Mama Rising space.
  • Supporting, inspiring, seeing, valuing, cheerleading those who are out there supporting Mamas and creating a change.
  • Rituals, powerful questions, guidance needed to arrive in our motherhood and how Mama Rising supports that.
  • When we heal the mother, we heal the world.

The Mama Rising approach to supporting mothers is unique: we guide them through the beauty and confusion of this discovery process and help them get to know themselves again - as a woman and as a mother. If you would also like a deeper understanding of matresence and how we support women differently, the Mama Rising facilitator training opens just once a year. You can find all the details at www.mamarising.net/open.

Be part of the much-needed and long over-due change.

Transcripts

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Welcome to the Happy Mama Movement Podcast.

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I'm Amy Taylor-Kabbaz.

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I would like to start by acknowledging the Gadigal people of the Aura nation

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on which this podcast is recorded as the traditional custodians of this land.

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And pay my respects to the elders past, present and emerging.

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And as this podcast is dedicated to the wisdom and knowledge of motherhood, I

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would like to acknowledge the mothers of this land, the elders, their wisdom, their

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knowing and my own elders and teachers.

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Welcome back Mamas.

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This week, we are opening the doors for enrollment to Mama Rising again.

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The coaching certification and facilitator training for anyone to share the wisdom

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of matresence and to be a part of the change that we need to see around how we

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support and value mothers and to guide a woman's perspective and understanding

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of herself through motherhood.

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This training began four years ago now.

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After coaching for many, many years, so many different women.

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Women all over the world with different experiences of becoming a Mum.

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Women who knew from the day they were born, that they wanted to be a Mum too.

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But now they are a mother, they're struggling with what that means and it

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not being what they thought it would be.

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Other women who never assumed there would be a Mum at all, didn't think

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they had a maternal bone in their body is how they would describe it.

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And now are experiencing the changes and transformations of motherhood

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and wondering who am I now?

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So many different experiences, different countries, different languages, solo

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Mums, Mums who have done IVF, same sex marriages, partners, all of it.

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And what I realised was that I was not able to do what I felt I was here to do.

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So much of what I wanted to be a part of in this world,

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was this change for mothers.

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I grew up with such a deep passion about telling the stories and being

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part of the change in culture for women.

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I thought as many of you would know if you've been listening

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for a long time, I thought I would be a foreign correspondent.

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I thought I would be out there finding the women's stories and bringing them

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to the world, just like this podcast.

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But I didn't think I would be part of the change.

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I thought I would tell the stories of those who want the change

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and who are part of the change.

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I would simply be the storyteller.

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So when I found myself in the trenches of coaching and supporting so many

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women listening to so many stories, creating online programs that then

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hundreds and hundreds of women would take, I found myself in a role.

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I didn't know I would ever do.

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And that has been a part of the change.

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I knew I was an activist.

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I knew I was a feminist.

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I knew I had big dreams.

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But it didn't feel like it was me who would be doing all this change.

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Another part of me also realised that there's only so many women

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that I can have in my groups.

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There's only so many conversations I can have.

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And so with the deep guidance of my mentor, Dr.

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Aurélie Athan, and some pretty phenomenal women in my life.

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I began to explore this idea of what if my role was once again

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about telling stories, supporting those who were making the change?

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What if my job became supporting, inspiring, seeing, valuing, cheerleading,

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those who are out there supporting the Mamas and creating the change.

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And so four years ago I created a program Mama Rising.

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It was before the book was written.

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It was way back 2019 before COVID and thought maybe some would take this option.

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My business was sustainable.

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It wasn't a runaway success, but it was sustainable.

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And I thought maybe I'll have 20 women who would be interested in

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learning about how I coach Mums.

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Because the coaching industry as phenomenal as it is, and I truly say

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that because I feel so deeply grateful I'm a part of the coaching industry.

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The coaching industry traditionally is very formulaic in a way it's

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quite a masculine structure.

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It's goal orientated.

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It's outcome driven, traditionally.

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Now there are some phenomenal coaching institutions, academies and training

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schools around the world that are so much more feminine embodied.

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Many of them have been interviewed on this podcast and the way I was trained by

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Julie Parker at the beautiful U coaching academy was not goal driven by any sense.

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It was driven by self actualisation, self empowerment.

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You are there as a cheerleader, a guide, a mirror, but you are

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not by any means a task master.

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But through my experience of coaching so many Mums, I discovered that

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there was a particular formula, a particular way that we can hold space

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as if there were stepping stones out.

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That, no matter what she was experiencing, if we just gently

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guided her to the next stepping stone, she could find her own answers.

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This wasn't a definitive, you need to follow this and you need to do

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this in two weeks and you need to meditate or you need to do that.

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No, it was completely in her control, completely her own answers, her

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own words, but there was a formula.

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I think of it as if back in the day, the elder in the village, she would have

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her set ritual that she would do with the girls who are entering womanhood.

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Their first bleed, their first period, they would call her into the tent.

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And yes, there was a ritual that she would be walked through.

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No one was sitting there and telling her, you need to do it this way.

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But there was a guide, questions that were asked, ceremonies that were performed so

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that she could arrive in womanhood, ready.

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It's the same with the Mama Rising formula.

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It's the rituals, it's the questions, and it's the guide that she needs

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to arrive in her motherhood.

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Whether she is pregnant, whether she has three children at school, whether

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her children are leaving home, it is the same ritual and guide the same

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questions, the same tiny pebbles that she follows to her understanding of herself.

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So I used that formula that I had seen work over and over again for thousands of

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women in that 2019 version of Mama Rising.

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And as I said, I thought 20 women may say yes, that would be a success.

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And I got 76 and suddenly, that desire to change who I am in this space.

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And to instead, once again, step back and support those women who are out

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there wanting to create change began.

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Suddenly, I wanted to tell their stories.

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I wanted their success.

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I wanted to hear about how they connected with a woman in their local community and

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changed the way she felt about herself.

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Suddenly there was connections all over the world of how this was going

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to work in different parts of the world and in different cultures

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and even different languages.

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And since then every year, the program has matured.

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You know, I do see myself stepping into more of that elder role in

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the sense of not that I've got the answers, but in the sense of, I hold

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the space for those who hold the space.

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The team, and I hold the space for those who hold the space.

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Because that's the way it's meant to be done.

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We're not meant to be creating change one by one by one.

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We're meant to do this together.

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Matresence in my belief, my core belief has the potential to not only

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change how a Mum feels, of course.

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But change how we educate, how we work, how we honor our bodies and our health.

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Because at the core of it again, matresence is an acknowledgement

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that we are not machines.

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We don't just show up and do this motherhood thing and then go

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to work and do this work thing.

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We are human beings, divine complicated human beings who are growing and

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grieving and figuring this out.

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And if we can have this formula of support, if we can have these rituals

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and guides to understand how this has changed ourselves, we can do anything.

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We can go into a workplace and say, Hey, instead of assuming she's

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the same person she used to be before she went on maternity leave,

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she's actually very different.

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And she has new gifts and skills to share.

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And instead of ignoring the fact that she's a Mum let's bring that to the

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surface and say, actually, now that you're a Mum, how should this work?

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What do you want to contribute?

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Because here's the thing I know if possible, if possible, acknowledging

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that some women do not have a choice to go to work or not.

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But if she does have a choice, she wants to be there for a purpose.

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If she needs to be away from her baby, then make it purposeful.

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Something has activated in her.

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She wants to make a difference.

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She wants to be a part of something.

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She now knows the world needs to be fixed, needs to be changed.

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And so within this training, over the last four years, we have

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birthed so many versions of it.

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I have birthed so many versions of myself as that person who holds that space.

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And now here we are in 2022, having had nearly 300 women go through the

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training over the last three years.

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This is our fourth year.

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Nearly 200 women accredited as rising coaches around the world.

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Here we are.

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And the time has never been better.

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What we've been through with COVID.

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I don't even need to tell you, you know what the last two years has been

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like to stretch on women and mothers.

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Is bigger than I think any of us understand right now we've held

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space for our children while we've also tried to keep life

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going as normal, and it's showing.

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So many are talking about the great resignation, because so

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many working mothers are saying, nup I'm not doing it anymore.

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Now is the time for us to come together, support each other and rise up.

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Whether you can talk about matresence and the experience of motherhood

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differently to the people in your circle, to your work colleagues,

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to the Mums at the school gates.

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Or whether in this time of your life, it is time for you to step into

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something like this, to be a part of the change, to be a part of Mama

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Rising we can all be a part of this.

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And I really mean that, I'm not saying that dismissively.

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Recently in a call, I said to women who were considering Mama Rising if

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you are in the middle of the trenches yourself, the greatest thing you

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can do is do this for you first.

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Look after yourself, say no to being even more productive,

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ask for help, speak up at work.

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Put some things in place to make sure that you are not depleted,

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that is a revolutionary act.

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But if you have the capacity and the calling right now to step into

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Mama Rising even if it's terrifying, then we are waiting for you.

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This year, we've changed the training to be a five month certification program.

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In those five months, you learn about the matresence theory, feminism

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and motherhood, workplace culture, birth culture, what it means to be

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a woman, a mother, so many things.

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The second module, we work through the redefined program.

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The program for me, that started at all the program that Mama Rising is based on.

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We do this so you can experience it yourself.

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We can't teach from a place of not knowing.

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We have to move through this process ourself, even if you've done hundreds

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of hours of self development.

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As a Mum and as a woman, this is what we need.

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We need to sit in this together.

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And the third module is how to coach, whether you are in the birthing suite,

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in a women's circle, in a coaching business, or at work coaching skills

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is what we need because basically it's active listening, and powerful

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questions, guiding her to her own answers.

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And that is a skill, but gosh, it's the most rewarding role.

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So rewarding.

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And for those of you that are just starting out and really want to build

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a business and a presence in this work, we've added on a fourth module, a bonus

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module you can sign up for on building a business business, 1 0 1, everything

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from how to pitch to a podcast, how to build a social media following, how to

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write copy, how to find your audience.

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Because I truly believe as you've heard me say so many times that when

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we heal the mother, we heal the world.

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And we really need to be doing this right now.

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So, if Mama Rising is calling you, we are open for enrollment for just a few weeks.

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We start in September.

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All the details are in the show notes or go to mamarising.net/open.

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Any questions, reach out to me and the team.

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And no matter what thank you for being here for these conversations, cause this

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is how we change things for mothers.

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