🔥 Ever argued with your meds at 3 AM because your brain’s like “Sleep? Never met her”? Girl, perimenopause just crashed our ADHD party uninvited – let’s talk survival hacks that don’t suck.

This episode’s chaos includes:

• Why 93% of ADHD women hit career walls by 40 (spoiler: your boss isn’t texting HR about your hormones)
• The freezer incident™ that exposed corporate gaslighting (yes, we’re suing the patriarchy)
• How Jenna turned “overthinking” into a $200K consulting gig (her secret weapon? An Excel spreadsheet color-coded to hell)

This is for you if:

☑️ Your to-do list has sub-lists…that have their own Pinterest boards

☑️ “Time management tips” make you want to throw planners into the sun

☑️ You’ve Googled “am I broken?” more than your ex’s new partner

Real Talk Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:09 The Reality of ADHD and Burnout

01:22 Navigating Hormonal Changes

04:49 Workplace Challenges and Solutions

07:16 Rebuilding Energy and Thriving

11:21 Career Pivots and Success Stories

15:45 Conclusion and Next Steps

P.S. If you finish this episode feeling 10% less alone, do us both a favor – smash that subscribe button like it’s the last chocolate in your PMS stash.

Welcome back!

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Are you like me and sometimes

you feel like your brain is like

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a browser with 47 open tabs?

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Well, let's get real for a sec.

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Did you know that 93 percent

of us, ADHD women, hit full

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blown burnout by the age of 40?

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But it's not because you're failing,

it's because the game is rigged.

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Last month for instance, I left my

laptop charger in the freezer twice.

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Why?

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Because perimenopause is currently

fist fighting my ADHD for

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control of my dopamine levels.

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It turns out that when estrogen

nosedives, it's like your brain's

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GPS just starts rerouting through

construction zones permanently.

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So if you've ever apologized for spacing

out during a meeting while actively

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googling how to fake focus, or you've been

called too much at 25 but disorganized

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at 45 for exactly the same behaviors,

Or even if you felt like your superpower

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suddenly became your kryptonite,

completely overnight, stick with me.

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Today we're going to talk about why

your meds might be ghosting you at 42.

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We're also going to talk about how you

can ask for accommodations at work without

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sounding like you're making excuses.

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I mean, of our problems, science

says that 30 percent is hormonal and

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70 percent is corporate bullshit.

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And we will discuss the career pivot trap.

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that every burned out neurodivergent

woman seems to fall into.

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So for those that are new to my channel

and do not know me yet, I'm Sonja.

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I'm a neurodivergent mom of four and

I have a thriving career in tech and

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multiple businesses under my belt.

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I have been where you are.

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I've been juggling chaos, chasing

dreams, and trying to make it

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all work without burning out.

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And this is the space where we get

real about navigating life with ADHD

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and turning what makes us different

into what makes us unstoppable.

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Whether you're here for practical

tips or just need someone who gets

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it, you're in the right place.

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But first, have you ever started crying

about something as silly as a misplaced

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stapler or something crazy like that?

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Well, that's not weakness.

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That is your nervous system waving a

white flag at the system that expects

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neurodivergent women to contort

themselves into neurotypical boxes.

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And then, when we're finally able to,

the box changes shape midmenopause.

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Fantastic!

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So, are you ready to stop bending?

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Alright, let's dig into why burnout

feels like it's coming for you

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harder than ever after your 40s.

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It's not because you're lazy or

disorganized, it's because your

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brain and your body are going

through hormonal rollercoaster

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that no one warned you about.

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So let's break this down.

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Here's the deal.

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Perimenopause, that lovely phase

before menopause, can slash your

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estrogen levels by up to 30%.

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And if you've got ADHD,

this is a really big deal.

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Estrogen isn't just about periods

and hot flashes, it's actually

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also your brain's dopamine booster.

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And dopamine is what helps you focus and

stay motivated and regulate your emotions.

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So less estrogen means less dopamine,

which means, well, you know, brain

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fog, emotional meltdowns, and

forgetting why you walked into

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the room for the third time today.

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So that's why I said, raise your

hand if you've cried about something

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ridiculous lately, like a stapler

or a text that somebody didn't

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read but didn't answer, whatever.

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I did too.

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And that's not just stress,

it's your nervous system.

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It's telling you that it's

overwhelmed by these hormonal shifts.

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And you know what makes it worse?

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ADHD meds, they rely on

dopamine to work effectively.

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So if your meds suddenly feel

like they stopped working around

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your 40s, it's not in your head,

it's actually in your hormones.

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So let's talk about how this

affects the workplace when things

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get extra messy for ADHD women.

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So if you've been labeled as high

potential in your career, congratulations.

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But also, I'm really sorry, because

that label often translates to, we're

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going to pile on more work because

you seem to be capable of handling it.

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And when you start to struggle because of

hormones or burnout or both, then suddenly

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you're no longer seen as ambitious.

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Now you're disorganized and difficult.

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I have a client that I coach regularly,

let's call her Lisa, who was killing it

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at her job until she hit her mid forties.

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She asked her boss for flexible

hours to manage her ADHD

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and perimenopause symptoms.

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But instead of support, she actually

got demoted because her boss

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said she wasn't committed enough.

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And this is what I call

corporate gaslighting.

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Making you question your worth and

abilities, when the reality is that

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they are refusing to adapt to you.

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If this sounds familiar,

know this it's not you.

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It's not you failing at work.

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It's your workplace failing you.

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And then there's the masking.

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That exhausting act of pretending

to be neurotypical just to fit in.

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Studies show that women with ADHD

spend an average of 7 hours a day

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masking their symptoms pre diagnosis.

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7 hours!

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That's like working an extra shift

every single day just to appear normal.

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Now, add in the energy drain from

hormonal changes after 40 and guess what?

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You don't have the reserves to keep

up with that level of masking anymore.

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And honestly, we shouldn't have to.

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So what is the takeaway?

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Well, burnout at this stage

isn't a personal failure.

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It's the result of a perfect storm

of biology and broken systems.

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But don't worry, we're not stopping here.

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Let's now talk about how to rebuild your

energy reserves and how to speak up for

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what you need without burning bridges.

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So now we know why burnouts

hit harder after 40, we need to

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talk about how to fight back.

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Because there is a thing.

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You don't have to just survive this phase,

you can actually start thriving again.

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You just need to have the right tools.

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So first, let's talk about hormone hacks.

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If perimenopause is throwing your

dopamine levels off a cliff, you've

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got to meet your brain where it's at.

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Hormone replacement therapy can

be super helpful for a lot of

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women, but it's not a magic wand.

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But pairing it with ADHD

friendly strategies is where

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the real magic happens.

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Here's a tip.

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Why not sync your most mentally

demanding tasks, like presentations

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or brainstorming sessions, with your

follicular phase, if you're still cycling.

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That is when estrogen levels are

at the highest and your verbal

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fluency and focus tend to peak.

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And for those of you who

are thinking, what phase?

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I haven't tracked anything

since my last failed diet.

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Don't worry, there are easy

tools like period trackers

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that can help you figure out.

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without adding any more mental load.

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Now, if your postmenopausal or your

cycle is really irregular, focus

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sprints are your new best friend.

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You should set a timer for 25 minutes,

which is Pomodoro style, and tackle

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one task with zero interruptions.

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Then you take a five minute break

just to reset your brain and to relax.

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It's really simple but wildly

effective when your brain feels

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like it's running on fumes.

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So, Now, let's shift gears to work,

because burnout isn't just about hormones.

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It's also about systems

that don't work for you.

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And if you're struggling in a

traditional workplace, it might

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be time to ask for accommodations.

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And no, that doesn't mean that you need

to walk into your boss's office and

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say, Hey, I have ADHD and menopause,

and my brain is not working so well.

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So please help me.

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But here's how you can frame it.

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You should focus on your strengths first.

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For example, I've noticed that my

ability to hyper focus on complex

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projects saves so much time and money.

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To deliver at this level, I would

like to discuss some adjustments that

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could make me even more effective.

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See what we did here?

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We're not asking for favors.

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You're not telling him you

want to be treated special.

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You're showing how small

changes might benefit them.

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And it's called strength

based negotiation.

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And it works.

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So, do you need some more ideas?

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Why not start with flexible hours

or noise canceling headphones if

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sensory overload is an issue for you,

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or request clear deadlines in

writing if verbal instructions tend

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to evaporate from your brain five

minutes after the meeting ends.

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I usually ask them to confirm our

agreements or our actions by email.

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It also is great to look it up later

when I've forgotten all about them.

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these are just small tricks

that can help you a lot.

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So, now finally I want to

really talk about the big one.

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And that's career pivots, because

sometimes the best way to recover

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from burnout is to stop trying to

fix a broken system and instead

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build something better for yourself.

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And I mean, that sounds

like a great plan, right?

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But there is a trap.

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Too many women jump ship without a

plan and end up just as burned out

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in their new role as they were in

their old role, because they didn't

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address the root causes first.

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So, how do you know whether

to quit or to reboot?

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You should use what I call the Burnout

Return on Investment Calculator.

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And no, this isn't some complicated

spreadsheet, it's just three questions.

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Question one.

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Is this job draining me

more than it's growing me?

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A yes or a no.

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Question two.

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Are my unique strengths being

used here or are they wasted?

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And lastly, can I realistically

get what I need from this workplace

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if they accommodate me better?

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If you answer no to all three,

it might be time to pivot.

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But do it strategically.

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Look for roles or industries that

align with how your ADHD brain thrives.

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Think about creativity, flexibility,

and purpose driven work.

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The bottom line is that burnout

recovery isn't pushing through

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or pretending everything is fine.

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It's about rebuilding systems

that actually support you.

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And trust me, once you start working

with your brain instead of against

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it, Everything gets so much easier.

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Alright, so now let's flip the script.

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We've talked about the challenges

and now it's time to show you what's

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possible when you stop fighting against

your brain and start working with it.

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A dear friend of mine, Jenna,

she is 47, and she has ADHD.

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And she was this close to

quitting her corporate job after

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years of feeling burned out.

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This might sound familiar to most of us.

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And here's what's happened.

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Jenna came to me as a client feeling

like her over preparation, you know, the

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hours spent triple checking every email,

creating color coded spreadsheets for

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even simple tasks, that it was a weakness.

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Her boss saw it as wasted time and she

started believing it too, and after a

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while she found out that same annoying

trait turned out to be her golden ticket.

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Anyway, Jenna decided to leave her

job, but not in a blaze of frustration,

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instead she pivoted strategically.

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She took that knack of overpreparing and

launched a consulting business auditing

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corporate trainings for neuroinclusion.

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Within six months, she had a 200k

niche helping companies create

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environments where neurodivergent

employees could actually thrive.

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Do you see what happened there?

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The thing that she thought made

her too much was actually exactly

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what made her irreplaceable.

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She just had to find the

right audience for it.

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And here's what I want you to remember.

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Your most annoying trait, the one that

you've been told to hide or fix, is

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someone else's million dollar solution.

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Maybe you're hyper focused on details,

or maybe you're a big picture thinker

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who struggles with follow through,

whatever it is, there is a space

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where that exact skill is not just

valued, but also absolutely necessary.

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So ask yourself.

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Who needs what you've been hiding?

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Because I promise you, someone

out there is starving for exactly

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what you bring to the table.

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All right, let's take a breath.

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We've covered so much today.

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We've covered why burnout feels like

it's hitting harder after 40, how

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to rebuild your energy reserves, and

how to turn what you've been told are

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weaknesses into your greatest strengths.

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If you're feeling overwhelmed, remember,

this isn't about fixing yourself.

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You were never broken.

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This is about building a

life that works for you.

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And hey, if you're ready to take the

first step, I've got something for you.

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Why don't you head over

to www.femmeonfire.com

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and grab your free

burnout audit checklist.

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It is a quick five minute tool to

help you pinpoint where your work

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and your life might be draining

you and what you can do about it.

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Next week, we're diving into

more leadership superpowers.

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Trust me, you don't want to miss it.

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And before you go, let's

keep this conversation going.

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Share this with a 40 plus neurodivergent

woman who needs to hear this.

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Let's normalize thriving and

not just surviving together.

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Don't forget to like and

subscribe and thank you for

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spending this time with me today.

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Take care of yourself, okay?

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You deserve it.