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Monetizing Your Message and Your Story
Episode 2615th March 2022 • The Category Queen Show • Kinsey Machos
00:00:00 00:30:09

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In this encore presentation of a Launch It Girl episode, Kinsey sits down with Ayelet Shipley, a High-Performance Mindset Coach. Ayelet shares how her life changed when she attended Russel Brunson’s mastermind while she was in school studying to become a therapist. She shares her lightbulb moment that led her to start her own business instead. If you’re looking to monetize and create a business around your story and your message, this is the episode for you.

Do not miss these highlights:

04:09 How Ayelet’s trip to Denver to one of her father’s marketing conferences, led her to the path of serving not just one, but many people

08:11 Stepping into your own story, and leveraging that to make an impact is what building a brand is all about

09:24 If it feels hard, challenging, or out of alignment, ask yourself ‘Why is this happening for me’ instead of ‘Why is this happening to me’

10:28 How to separate yourself from the traditional way of thinking 

14:06 It's not about you, it's all about the impact that you're making

15:57 The steps and practices that we can do as entrepreneurs to balance everything, and manage feeling overwhelmed.

18:45 Ayelet’s incredible experience on her trip to Alaska with some of big name online influencers

24:40 Ideas can help with your life, but coaching can change it

26:03 Give yourself the permission to break that traditional mold 

Transcripts

Kinsey Machos:

Welcome to Captivate and Close. I'm Kinsey Machos, business consultant and marketing strategist. And I'm going to show you how to attract and enroll high paying claims, using my break through online marketing strategies, all without having to rely on complicated funnels, disingenuous clickbait, or spammy sales tactics. These are the messaging marketing and selling secrets that virtually no one is talking about. So let's dive in.

Kinsey Machos:

Hey, you welcome back to another episode of Captivate and Close. I have a really special little clip for you today and I'm resurfacing an older podcast episode. And this is a conversation between Ayelet Shipley and I, and what's super fun is this was sort of the beginning of our relationship and our partnership. And of course, over the year, it's evolved. And it's so fun to see how that journey has evolved. But I illite story is really powerful. And I think that this is one of our Well, I know that it's one of our highest downloaded episodes. And I want to resurface it because it really does reiterate the importance of your story, your message and where that actually comes from. And I hope that it's a reminder for you to show up in your full self and know that that alone will create so much opportunity for you. So I hope you enjoy this episode. monetizing your message and sharing your story.

Kinsey Machos:

Hey guys, oh my gosh, welcome to launcher girl podcast. I have an amazing guest here with you today Ayelet Shipley and Ayelet is a mindset coach, high performance mindset coach, and I've had the honor of really understanding her and getting to know her over the past what has been four to six months. For him. Yeah, night together. So please introduce yourself to my listeners.

Ayelet Shipley:

Hello,everyone. I'm super pumped to be here. I am I eligibly. I'm a high performance and mindset and anxiety coach. And I have been in this entrepreneurial space for one year from today's date. So it's been a crazy journey. And I'm excited to talk about it. And explain how I got from my crazy normal life to this

Kinsey Machos:

wild adventure. So gosh, so good. I love you. Because a I feel like in my mind, you're you're such a baby, right? Like, we're, what 10 years apart, almost, which is crazy. But you have just this incredible wisdom, this incredible energy about you that literally sets you ahead like years and years apart. When I first met you, I was like, Oh my gosh, like who is who is this woman. And I think it's really important though, that we sort of unpack your history, the traditional, I guess, pathway, if you will, that you took in your education, and what that looked like and so I would love for you to share your journey there and where you are now.

Ayelet Shipley:

Yeah, so I was on the normal, traditional education path, like Kinzie said, of wanting to become a therapist for my entire existence. I mean, since I was 12 year old, 12 years old, I had known that I was going to be a therapist, for people struggling with different mental health disparities. My mom is a therapist, my answer therapist, my other two therapists, you name it, everyone in my family. So it's, it's been I worked every summer that I was not in school, at therapeutic horseback riding centers for kids with special needs at different mental health clinics. And then you know, you go to college and you major in psychology, and then you go and get your master's degree. And so I'm on this normal path of college, and I'm one year into my master's program. So this was one year ago to the date. And my dad had texted me in about in about July saying, Hey, I'm going to Denver to one of my marketing conferences, which I didn't understand the time and it was Russell Bronson's inner circle, and which is his highest level mastermind. So he said, You know, it's geared towards families, and they really want families to go. So will you come with me? Because my sister said, No, she's she's 21. And she was busy doing her own thing. And I thought, Okay, sure. I mean, I'm not in school right now. And it's a free trip to Denver. So sure, I'll go. So I get to Denver. I mean, I have no interest in whatever this this conference is. And I kept meeting people and they would ask me, oh, what business are you in, which makes sense you're at a business conference. And I would say every time I'm not good I am studying to be a therapist. I'm just here with my dad. And one of the first people I met, he's probably the third was a man named Ryan Lee, who runs a business called cashflow tactics, and he is awesome. But he was there with his daughter Kiana. And, you know, he asked me, what do you do? And I gave the same answer. But I asked, What do you do, and he explained what he did. But he said, I'm really here with my daughter. And we'd love to do something to help kids with anxiety and depression. Anxiety, depression was something that I had struggled with for my entire life. But it was never public, I had only told my close close friends and family, so maybe a handful of people know. But some, somehow in my head at that moment, I was like, I came to this realization that, oh, I'm gonna say something back. And I said, that's amazing. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the last 10 years of my life. So that'd be amazing to help kids with that. And he looked at his daughter, who's 12 years old, and he said, See, you're not alone. And something like clicked in my head in that moment where I was giving myself permission to be able to speak about what I had gone through. And what's interesting is in school, to be a therapist, you're told, don't talk about your own stuff, don't talk about what you've been through. And it's, it's really about the other person and you're not supposed to share any of your experiences. self disclosure, is a very touchy subject in studying to be a therapist. So it was weird. All of a sudden, I've been taught my whole career, or studying into my career, I was one year into my clinical work. And they had said, like, don't talk about anything you had been through. But I have been through all of this stuff. And here, I was talking to this little girl who was struggling with sharing with other people. And I was given permission to tell my story. And that was just one thing that happened. And then the next thing that happened is I stepped into the conference, in which they told the pretty much the entire message that was said the whole weekend was Russel saying that if you have a message that's inside a view, you have something to get out to the world. And that's your calling. So why just share your message with someone one on one, but it can be one to many. And there was that moment where I decided this is my path, I don't need to just serve people one on one, it can be one to many. And I can make a living off of this and not work on a $35,000 social work budget a year where I'm living in New York City. And $35,000 isn't going to cut it here. It's just not. And that's how my journey began. And that was one year ago to this date, which is so crazy. I just looked at my camera roll and it said August 18, where I like literally posted and said, Here's my decision. Oh,

Kinsey Machos:

what a cool story. I think there's so much to unpack there. I think well a for my listeners, like the fact that she like you got in this invitation to this inner circle that you're like, well, like Russell Brunson, like whatever, like who's, you know, a leading influencer right in this space. I think that's so cool. It's like the universe was just like, literally like placing you in that room. During that time, it's specifically for you to share that message, right. And secondly, I think this this message about stopping in to your own story, and leveraging that to make an impact. And that really is what building a brand is about, right. And building a business. I think too often so many people like reach beyond themselves and look at other people and try to absorb other ways of being other ways of strategizing. And they're like totally missing the mark, because it's already within you. Right? And it comes from your story. And for you to be able to share your story with one person and have that response. I think it's such a huge indicator for so many that you you are where you need to be right now, in order to change the life of the lives of other people are so great that I don't even think I believed in fate until that one moment in time. And I look back on just the last year of my life. And I'm like, everything has happened for me. And some of the things that I've gone through in in my life might have really stopped going through intense anxiety and depression really did suck in the moment. But it doesn't mean I can't find meaning from it. And that has led me to the place I am today and nothing would have happened if not for that. Oh, so good. I think there's so much to learn from that in like, anything that feels hard or challenging or out of alignment. It's just like okay, what it what is how is that? Why is this happening for me, right? Instead of why is this happening to me? We're our brains, our minds are able to see clearer a little bit more clearly when we just ask ourselves that question. Okay, why is this happening for me? Right? Because it truly is like life is unfolding for us. So I love that you said that. I think also the I love this traditional mindset around this self disclosure right? And I think traditionally, and I come from the corporate background, so it's like we are groomed in that way. So we come from this traditional grooming, whether that's corporate, the educational system, whatever. And there's beliefs. There's, there's ways of being right there systems are, there's processes that really can hinder our ways of showing up and really uncovering that inner magic. And so I'd love for you to like, share with us, how did you? How was that a process for you to kind of unfold in that thinking? Or was it that one moment? How did you kind of separate yourself from that traditional way of thinking and being?

Ayelet Shipley:

Right? I mean, there's definitely not a moment in time where I decided, I'm going to show up 100% as this person, and I'm going to come out, I mean, actually, that's not true. Because I did come out with my story in one moment in time, to the public on social media. But it's true, we've been groomed by our entire society, no matter whether it's corporate, whether it's a social media world, whether it's the social work background that I was in, we only show a certain version of ourselves. And so when I step into a room, and I meet people, I mean, for years, I wasn't showing who I was, even in a dating world, I always talk about this, like, I would go on a date, and I would meet someone, and they wouldn't know, half, three quarters of the things around me because so much of what's happened in my life. And what's come for me has come from my story and what I've gone through. And I remember being on a date, actually dating someone in New York, right before I had gone to this conference. And he was breaking up with me. And he said to me, I feel like you don't have any emotion. And I literally looked at myself in the mirror that night. And I'm like, if this person that I've been dating for three months, I spent everyday with for three months is looking at me and say you don't have any emotion. I'm clearly not showing up as me that wasn't on him. That was so on me. I mean, it did take a little bit of time for me to understand that. But when I started, when I said that to one person, it started making it easier to tell people what I had gone through when I said it to Kiana that day, Ryan's Daughter. And then as that weekend happened, I said it more and more and more. And I was starting to feel more comfortable in who I was. And it felt like I was stepping into who I was always meant to be and my truest version of myself, because I wasn't stepping forward with just a smile on my face dressed really well, presenting super well, it was being honest about who I was, in the night before. I mean, I decided at the conference, I was going into full entrepreneurship, but I didn't realize I had to promote what I was going to do on social media. My story didn't realize I don't have to tell people outside of that little entrepreneurial world. And so the night before my podcast launch, which was about a month after the conference, my podcast coach called me and he goes, Hey, you, you got to go Facebook Live, and start promoting this, like we haven't you haven't done anything to launch this. And I was like, What do you mean, I have to go Facebook Live. I'm going Facebook Live my friends and my family live there everyone that I know, but doesn't know this about me? And he was like, No, you have to you have to go, we have to promote it. So people want to listen so they can see what you've gone through. I mean, I was in like tears on the corner in New York City, like after class. And he said one thing to me. He said, What if this impacts 100 people's lives. And there was a moment there where I was like, You're right. This is why I'm going into this. I'm not, it's not about me anymore. It's about someone I can impact whether that's one person, whether that's 10, whether that's 100 or more. And so that was another defining moment. And I think there are just defining moments in in your life and career where you see that I can share openly with who I am, I don't necessarily just have to put on this strong face all the time. I

Kinsey Machos:

love that I think the more that we can release the pressure to make it about ourselves and make it about other people. Everything becomes easier, right? Like creating offers selling offers building and brand marketing. It's always about the other person on the other side of the table from you, right? It's like it doesn't have to, it's not about you, and it's all about the impact that you're making, and not forgetting that that's one person. That's five people that's 100 people just like you said, I think so many people get stuck in their heads. I need to be perfect. I need to be showing up this way that way. And it's just like you said those baby steps of courage of aligning more with yourself your story and your your mission, your mission right? And really alight aligning that and being okay with like doing it messy, like it feels messy, but it's it's not. I think people feel that though that feeling of like, Ah, this feels uncomfortable because we're always pushing outside of that comfort zone, but that's where the that's where growth

Ayelet Shipley:

happens. Always grew up, like growth comes from uncomfortability from pain. And if everything was just good in our lives and like, super easy gung ho, about things, what what we have learned? Yeah, and yeah, uncomfortable is good, like, stepping outside of your comfort zone is what forces you to grow.

Kinsey Machos:

Yes. Oh, okay, so let's, let's shift a little bit because I want to understand from the anxiety perspective, I think in the state of the world that we're in, and I think a lot of people are feeling overwhelmed. And like I'm there, right, the anxiety, the overwhelm of all the decisions that we're making day to day like, should I even go to the grocery store? Like, should I take my kids to the, to the like, mall, like all these different decisions? And you know, some of the bigger decisions, right, like starting school and things like that? How how, what are some really tangible steps or practices that we can practice, especially as entrepreneurs, right, balancing all the things, what are things that we could do to really not either eliminate, or just bring ourselves at ease so we can manage the overwhelm?

Ayelet Shipley:

I think we're, we're always at the center of the overwhelm, because everything in our lives is going around us. And especially at this time, there is so much overwhelmed, there's so much on the news all the time, and you're listening to everyone else's opinion. And while it's important to be educated on that, I also think zone not zoning out from it, but zoning more into who you are and what your beliefs are, your opinions are, is the most important. And that's often the hardest thing for all of us is because there's so much information coming into us. But we can only process a certain amount of information a day. And I forget the exact number of what like what it is. But what I do to eliminate a lot of noise that surrounds me, I stopped watching the news, I limit what I'm scrolling on my news on my Instagram feeds, I can look at the hours per day, I'm scrolling. And sometimes I look at it and I'm disgusted with it. I'm like, why am I spending that much time scrolling? When that's not doing anything for me. And one of the most important lessons I think I've learned is, you are a combination of the five people that you surround yourself with most, which can often be hard when you're surrounded by kids all the time and that stuff. But if you even on your social feed, if you make sure that like the top five people, or the people you spend the most time with outside of your immediate family are people that are going to positively impact you, your view on everything else will change too. And I noticed that in my day to day life because I feel like I live in 100 different worlds sometimes. And I noticed myself feeling way more grounded when I'm surrounded by people that are lifting me up and making me feel better about who I am and my decisions and letting me be ensure alignment with myself rather than people posting their opinions on me.

Kinsey Machos:

That's so good. That is so so many powerful things there. I think I my business really expanded my business and my brand expanded. When my circle expanded. It's really being intentional with the relationships that I'm building and strategically aligning with the people that will elevate my way of being elevate my ways of thinking and right that's how we became known is because we joined the coaching program together, right? We're always looking to others to guide us, but also what is the commute were the communities I need to be in that are really going to expand me. So I love that you said that. And I believe and I love that you just got to go to a really like an incredible experience with really just some legacies really a big influencers in the online space. You got to go on this crazy trip. And I would love for you to share what that was like I think fishing in Alaska, but there was some masterminding and I would love to hear and these are, again, your business is thriving, your brand is thriving, and you're like in this room full of people that are just killing it not just from a business perspective, but life. And I would love for you to share that experience. But also like speaking of circle, right, what are the characteristics of these six successful entrepreneurs that you noticed? And what is it that we need to be implementing in our ways of being? Also?

Ayelet Shipley:

Yeah, I mean, I was invited on this trip pretty much two weeks before it happened. And you know, with the overwhelm of everything that's going on in this world. I I honestly didn't know how this was happening. How was I going to get to Alaska, two weeks before the trip to go fishing with a group of 30 people. I mean, probably five To 10, of which I knew really well, the rest I didn't. So obviously, there was a bunch of this internal resistance when my friend Marley jocks asked me to go with her. And you know, I know these group of people, they are amazing entrepreneurs. But there was something inside of me that was saying, like, Don't go, maybe don't go. It's easier to just stay in your world. Your friends are going to Rhode Island that weekend, maybe, maybe you'll have fun there. And for I was up till three in the morning, a day after she asked me and I was like, what is up in my brain right now that I'm not wanting to let myself I want to go not even thinking about the money piece yet or any of the logistical pieces. But I said, What if I just drop off my internal resistance right now. And I said, I want to go. And the moment I did that I like opened myself up to I'm gonna make it happen right now. I'm enough just like a part of our minds and everything. But long story short, I get on this trip. We all get there safely. COVID, free testing everything. And we're in a bubble for seven days, in a bubble where COVID doesn't exist, because we are all tested within 72 hours of getting there. We're on an island with no one but us. And like the staff that worked at the lodge that were staying there the entire summer, in everyday would get out at like five in the morning and go fishing, which by the way, I had never gone fishing before. I am a pro Fisher woman now I came back with 50 pounds of salmon.

Ayelet Shipley:

Yes, but the entire time it wasn't about business, which is interesting. It was really about who we were as people and just getting to know each other on a deeper level. And with that comes business in life, because business isn't isn't just a thing that you do business for all of us. We're all of us entrepreneurs. It's part of who we are. So when I was able to step into this environment, where I didn't feel this pressure to talk about how was I thriving in my business right now, what am I doing like it was really about getting to know each person. And that's how I was able to see into how they've come into so much success, and I am levels beneath all of these people. But what is so amazing is I was able to hear so many stories of how they were struggling even a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, and how they got into this space, and what's consistently driving them forward is just being open, open to new relationships, no matter who it was, whether it was me 10 to 15 years younger than almost everyone in 10 levels beneath them. Whether it was that or just open to new offers new ideas, thinking of ways to better themselves, it was consistently about investing in yourself to grow who you are, and that ends up growing your business if you're open to all of that. And I got to sit on on amazing little masterminding experiences, in which I learned like, just five minutes from hearing like Steve Larson, say something to me or to a friend or whatever. And I was like you just elevated what I understand within five minutes.

Kinsey Machos:

So good. Being open that that's so huge. I think I think of new and struggling coaches, they come into this space, they hear about a strategy, they put their blinders on. And they're like, they just grind themselves into the ground. Because it's like they're doing doing doing, nothing's working. But they're doing doing doing and they don't expand their vision. They don't open their hearts, they don't open their minds. And I think it's so important to continue to be open, like you said to new relationships, new ways of doing things being innovative, the great thing about entrepreneurship is we get to do whatever the hell we want, right. But I think people get into this space of like, it has to be done this way. And I think that's the problem with a lot of the coaching products these days. It's like, here's the strategy that worked for me, you know, took me to seven figures, this will work for you. And there's no room for flexibility, or at least the permission to be here's a different way of doing it. But it's the it's the again staying in alignment with yourself and being open. And I love that you said that anything investment piece, right? Like I think about when I invested $12,000 in in a quote unquote, business that was generating $0 At the time, right? But there is no way I could have gotten where I was without that guidance, the mentorship and really somebody like pushing me from behind, nudging me out of my comfort zone. That's so huge.

Ayelet Shipley:

I completely agree and I heard something today. And I was listening to like Matthew Hussey his podcast who is an incredible entrepreneur, but you don't know that you just think of him as an incredible relationship coach. And so he said ideas can help with your life but coaching can change it. And I think that's so, so much in alignment which what like with what we've gone through over this process So entrepreneurship because it really is about that mentorship that can push you to that next level where the ideas have a framework. Yeah, they can, they can help you. But it's really about that push. And it's not about one specific framework. Because I think at first I heard this like, Russell's one specific framework. And I'm like, That's it, one info product will take me to seven figures. And over the last year, I've, I've tried different frameworks. I'm combining frameworks, I'm listening to everyone else's stuff in order to create my own and to create my own path. And it's so so important, like what you said not to be caught up in one framework, one way that's going to make you a seven figure coach, a seven figure entrepreneur, it's about the process in which you're open to things that will take you to the next level internally, not just externally. Yeah,

Kinsey Machos:

so good stuff. What about being the smartest in the room, right? It's about

Ayelet Shipley:

if you're the smartest, you're in the wrong room, the smartest person in the room, you're still in the wrong room.

Kinsey Machos:

So good. I love that you say that? Oh, this is so good. I think there's so many nuggets here. I think one it's like really breaking that traditional mold, mold, right? The society has molded us to be to think in the way I think really breaking giving ourselves to break giving ourselves the permission to break that. I think also this idea that you have this skill, you have this trade, you have this expertise, and you can do it in a way that makes the most make makes you the most happy and really lights your soul on fire, I think you could have definitely gone down that route of the traditional therapy realm. But you are taking your exact expertise and delivering it in this other way that's going to impact more people and make you more money, right. So there's so many different ways to do things if you are being open to really experiencing other ways of doing understanding that other people can have already paved that path for you, like link up with people that know what they're doing. And I think lastly, really surrounding yourself with people that are always elevating you, your mind your heart and really looking at your circle and making sure that those are relationships that are worth investing in. So with so many good things here, I want to know how can so we do have we're gonna do a masterclass are we not doing a masterclass? We are doing. So excited. So we have partnered together, we're going to be delivering this free masterclass on September 3, coming up in a couple weeks, I'll drink I'll drop the link in the show notes. But we're going to be showing you the secrets to building the magnetic brand magnetic business and really how to get cash clients, all the things flowing to you at ease. So business does not have to be hard. So I'm going to link the comments. I'm going to link that in the show notes below. But aside from that, I would love for people to know how can they find you? How Where do Where do you want to send people because I want I think, again, strategy will only get us so far. And you really have to have that mindset, that highperformance mindset and people need you. So I want people to know where they can find you.

Ayelet Shipley:

Yes, absolutely. So you can find me on my social media on my Facebook. That's where I'm really talking about all of this stuff. A yellow Shipley can do have the name and they're so you spelled correctly, because it's complicated name, I get that all the time. And my podcast is get out of bed out of your head, which is where I talk about a lot of these mindset tricks and tools that we can do every day just to be open, and step into who we were, who we are, and be more aligned with who you are internally, externally and have that ability to get to the next level in your business in your personal life. Whatever your goals are.

Kinsey Machos:

So good. Well, girl, thanks so much. It was a freakin pleasure having you here. It's been an honor to know you and really grow closer to you and it's gonna be a good year, is it not

Ayelet Shipley:

together? It's gonna be a good partnerships. It's gonna be amazing.

Kinsey Machos:

So good. Well, it's a pleasure having you on and we'll chat later.

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