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Robb and Tina share personal stories and insights on heartbreak, relationships, and life lessons, offering guidance and comfort for those going through tough times.

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This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email [email protected]. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

Not as frustrated as you, but pretty freaking frustrated with this computer stuff here.

yeah.

Yeah, trying to get everything together so that we could put on this podcast today was not easy. And mostly because I I am not tech savvy in any way. Yeah. Fun times. Sorry, Rob. I'm sorry.

Mm-mm.

It it it is what it is. You know. Yeah. It's it's okay. huh. It's okay. It it happens. I I I understand, but it's it's just very hard when when you you know when I'm like and I'm like it's right yeah, it's right there.

You're there and you don't know what to look for?

But it is what it is. Like you know, at the end of the day we got it to work. So we just have to remember n to make sure that you're not on mute and everything will be okay.

That would be a good start, amongst other things.

Yeah, all right. you know

Life is a is a is a wild thing, Tina. and and the the more that people in my life go through

speed bumps. It the the more I realized like it is difficult to go through heartbreak.

for sure.

and and it can be man. So I have someone in my life who's kind of going through something and they're they haven't been in a ton of relationships, they're young. And I I was they they were kind of like talking to me about it and I and in my head I'm like everything's gonna be fine.

Because I've already lived a bunch of times.

And you've lived through it a bunch of times. Yeah.

Right.

But those words n never ring the same to someone who, for one, hasn't gone through it a lot. And and then second, you you don't want to hear that while you're going through the shit.

Right.

That's so true.

But I think that, you know, it you you have to tell them that, right? And and this goes for people who are going through heartache after, you know, two-year relationship, a four-year relationship, a eight-year, a twenty-year. It's all heartbreak.

How you handle that is different.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I remember when we decided to get divorced, there was absolutely no talking. I mean, it helped that it was going through COVID, but there I didn't tell anybody for the longest time. I don't know that he did, I have no idea, but but I kind of sat with the heartache. Like I really

took it inward. But they say that women give up like after tal talking about it a long time where men don't g they don't give up until the very end. So I just remember being really quiet and and just trying to live day to day without crying. Like that was a hard time in my life. And and

It was heartbreaking. I felt like a failure. I felt like I I could have done more. I felt like what did I do that the love didn't stay the way it did? It was it was torture. And and of course, as much torture as you wanna do to yourself is is definitely, you know

added bonus to whatever you're already going through 'cause you're hurting enough, but then when you add the guilt or you add the the hurt or whatever the hell you want to add to it, it doesn't get any better.

I mean, yes, here's the thing that I I'm trying to because I'm gonna have to go through this again here in the next couple of days. and I'm trying to think like how what do I tell them to to make it better. and and I think that look you know, like you, I can talk about my divorce and say, Hey, this did this.

'Cause I kinda told him about about recent things in my life where because he goes to me and he's like, you know, I thought that this would be like the one. And I was like, Yeah, like that's a you should. I mean, I I I think you should go into a lot of relationships hoping that it's the one.

Right.

But but that being said, I I've put a lot of time into chasing people. Let's just say. I a a lot of time. Like one person I chased them for eight years. Yeah.

And I kind of threw that at them. I was like, look, look what I did. Chased this person for eight years and you know what I got? Nothing. But what I did get from it is knowledge.

Okay.

And and look, no one wants to hear that shit when you're going through, you know, heartache. I mean, yeah, we j you're no, you're a hundred percent right, Tina. We generally don't want to hear it, period, at all. That is a hundred percent true. But that being said, later on it is easier to digest. Right? When you have a little bit of time to to have some retrospect of what you were doing.

At all.

At all.

Yes.

And realize that, you know, th there was there were signs there. Let's just say that, right? You're like, yeah, this or things that they might have said to you that were very clear and you just didn't want to hear it. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Didn't want to hear it. Yeah.

And and this person several times said things to me that that I probably should have really taken to heart.

So like there's there's no blame in this girl. Like I kind of like again retrospect. I I have had time now and going, Yeah, you know, she did kind of say this and she did kind of say that. And now, don't get me wrong, there were also, there were also

To think about it.

don't know what to call False flags. Like, we still had sex and talked all the time and like so it was a very weird gray area. looking back. Let's just say that.

Right.

But this girl also was always going through turmoil. So I think that I would just happen to be that shoulder, right?

I was kinda always there. Where that was kind of my fault too. I was always there. And that could also be the kiss of death if you're the if you're the person who always picks up the phone when you're not getting the reciprocation that you think you deserve. That's kind of on you.

yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't say kinda. It is on it was on me. So Uh-huh.

Well

You know, I jon't fight when somebody says that they don't want something. I'll be like, all right, I'm backing off and and I don't go back to that. I don't I don't like to revisit heartache. I'm like, can we just go through this once? I mean, I have, don't get me wrong, but you would hope that you learn that you don't have to

Uh-huh.

you know, do a groundhogs day on your life with the same shit over and over and over again. I I can't do that.

Yeah. I I totally agree. And look, I I I will tell you that I think I'm getting better with that. When someone kinda says, Hey, you know, this is kind of where it's at, I just go, Okay. I I I don't wanna hang around to see what's gonna happen. If I tell you this is what I want and you're like hesitant, then okay. Move on. Like there's

Right.

Yeah. You definitely shouldn't

It you just can't. It's it's not healthy. And look, do people come back into your life sometimes? Absolutely. All the time. And and I kind of told them that. I said, you don't know. Like people come into your life years later. Like, and I'll and I'll tell you because it happened to me. I dated her when I was 24 years old, and she came back into my life about a year ago.

All the time.

Mm-hmm.

Robb (09:39.032)

So and we only dated two and a half years. So like twenty-six to fifty-five, fifty-four, whatever the hell I was. Fifty-four, 'cause I think I had just turned it. So like

It it it does it weird shit happens. Like I don't wanna you know I don't wanna say that it doesn't, but you know, you also can't sit around waiting for someone to change their mind.

No. No and and why would you why would you want somebody that that they their mind was somewhere else? I mean if you think about it, who who wants to live that life? Don't don't

not want to be with me and then think, I I now I know, fuck that. Like quit not knowing, you know? Or quit knowing. Just go back to being the one that doesn't know and and isn't gonna get any better.

Or

It's it here's the other problem that at least that I find, and I it's I it's my bad spot. you know, this person is very like cut off forever. Like, that's cool, you don't want it, you don't want it to work. Don't ever talk to me ever again. And I'm like, yeah. And I was like, look.

Wow.

On paper, that sounds great. Like, but the reality is that people change and grow. It for the worst, sometimes. Like I don't wanna I don't wanna say that it's always a positive thing. That's not what I'm saying. Cause you might you might meet up with somebody five years later and they're five times worse.

Right.

I would hope not.

I've seen it. Not not personally for me, but I have seen it in other friends. I had a friend who, yeah, this girl came back into his life and she was like five times as cunty. I was like, what what what happened to you? Like he didn't. But he but it he had to re-meet them to see it.

Wow.

that's a shame.

Why would you want to get with somebody again if they're five times as worse?

Robb (11:57.07)

Yeah. I mean he thankfully he didn't put his foot in a bear trap. Like he didn't he he he cut it off f fairly quickly, like a couple of times out. He was like, Yeah, we're this isn't gonna work. Like I it but it was like on a lot of levels too. It wasn't just like that she was a bitch. It was just a lot of other things. Like he she wanted something, he was like, Yeah, that's not me. Like that's

Good.

That's not gonna happen. And she was like, like that's just not who I am. So it was like it was not just a bitchy thing. It was like they just they were different humans. And but and then sometimes you meet up later on in life and you're like, yeah, like this still clicks and you know, maybe we were just immature then and you know, we can see what happens. But my thing right now is like

How do you I I don't know how to tell somebody or how to I mean I do know how to tell them, but I'm trying to to do it with kid gloves because I don't want to ruin somebody and be like, you know, the the easiest thing to tell somebody is life does go on. It and I'm telling you it does. And I even told him that. I go, look, you don't know where you're gonna be living in three or four months.

Y your life might get turned upside down and you might meet the girl of your dreams.

And and that's the hope. I mean, life does go on and you're not only gonna ever love one person in your life. That's just that's just not that's just not the way life happens, right? Because and there's different types of love and you could love you could love people on different levels at different strengths as well. And you know

Yeah.

No.

It's not reality. No. No, it's not reality.

I think to myself, I'm glad I had the life I l I had, because if I didn't, I wouldn't know what love was. You have to experience heartbreak. You have to experience pain. You have to experience the joy. You have to experience every bit of it in order for you to understand it and to live it and to grow with it. And that's just life. You have to.

Yeah.

They're they're

Pain is part of life. It it it gives you I want to say armor. That's the only way that I guess in my head I can can put it. But it it it gives you armor against things that as you get older, you're just less likely to be devastated by it. You know? I

Absolutely.

Well and and I think time and life also teaches you that if it's meant to be, it's gonna come back around and there's nothing we could do to fix that, change that, manipulate that. Like if it's somebody that's supposed to be in your life, you bet they're gonna come around over and over again sometimes. You know, it just doesn't

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

It it doesn't mean that you're never gonna see God when I was young I I I remember my one of my best friends moving when he moved back to El Paso, I was like, I'm never gonna see him again. I've seen him his whole life. Like, come on, like I why would I never see him? He only lives in El Paso. You grow up, if you wanna make time, you make time. But I remember that feeling of like devastation, like my my best friend is gone.

Right.

And and I'm now I think about it, now he's not my best friend. We're not as close as we used to be. We don't have that same connection. And life is still really good. And so and so that you know, that

Yeah.

innocence that you lose with time because that's what happens. You lose that with time. You learn that that there's something else coming right around the corner. Or there's someone else coming right around the corner. Or you don't have to fit a mold that no longer serves either of you. You know, you could get out and and and do more, be more have more like experience is what life is all about. And and

And if it's not working and and y it's time to go, it's time to go. Have another experience. 'Cause there's always one around the corner.

I I agree. And I I also think that for people out there who are going through breakups and divorces and heartbreaks for the first time, you know, it's hard for anyone to think that you're going to wash out on the other side. And and i I thought the exact same thing when I was going through my divorce. I was like

I'm never going to be okay. Because when yeah, because when it's happening, it's it's the most devastating shit in the whole world. You know, because you you think like I've been with this person for a long time. Yeah, I have children with them. I have a house. I have, you know, whatever it is, whatever the menagerie.

Here you are. It hurts.

I didn't I didn't care about that stuff, but I just felt like fuck, I totally failed. I couldn't make it work. I couldn't I couldn't fix it. I couldn't change. It couldn't be what I needed to be to make it work. But man, that was that was a crisis at the time and now I look back and go, it was meant to be. It's just something that wasn't supposed to stay the same.

Right.

But I think part of those things that I'm talking about are those failures, you think. Like because you always think like, we we got a house, you know, we we had a kid, if you had kids, or whatever. Whatever the the things you start a business, you whatever all the monstrous things that you do during a marriage, right?

And you think like I I thought the same. I thought I failed. I thought I failed as a person. That was kind of one of my bigger things too. I thought I just failed.

You know what, my mine was a little different. I felt like I failed my best friend. Like I couldn't I couldn't put into words anymore. Like we we there was nothing to talk about. We we talked. I'm not one to sit and not talk. but I felt like I failed my best friend. Like it it just I never had that feeling of

of losing a best friend that I loved, that I tried everything to support and do for and and I didn't have the ill will. I just God I just w didn't want to do it anymore. And I I couldn't I couldn't fix that.

Yeah, I I think for me I was more what's the best way? I I think that I because I had a young son, I also think that I was looking at like what did I do? Like did I because I mean I I come from a divorced family, so I think that you can get through it.

So it's not that big of a deal, but I just wanted to make sure I didn't damage him.

I th I don't know that experience damages anybody. I think that experience teaches us lessons and some are good and some are bad and some are horrible and some work out to be amazing and you I don't think any one thing ruins one any one person. It's a definitely a group of things. Life does that to them.

I mean f f for for me, yeah. For me I kind of agree just because my parents look, I I tried to mold my divorce after what I remember my parents doing, like

I I knew both my parents loved me. I saw both of them. They both, you know, one didn't treat me better than the other. Like it was they were on the same page. And I wanted to make sure that I did the same with my son. When when we got divorced, I told my ex-wife, like, look, this is we need to have the same game plan. Because I also didn't want him working against both of us.

No, that could be bad too. When a kid gets in in between the parents, that's just all bad.

He tried a little. Yeah. He tried. Well, and then he tried to play like good cop, bad cop. Like he'd come home and be like, She did this. And then she would say the same thing. Like, I'd he'd go there and be like, Dad's being mean to me. Like, so he would try, but she was really good. Like, she would call me and go, Hey, he said this. And I Yeah, this is why. okay. And just keep going. Like, never, it does never we never let it blow up.

Yeah.

So, you know, and I think that that's what everyone needs to kind of do the same thing with when you're going through a heartache or going through a heartbreak and and breaking up with somebody is look, it's it's very, very easy to see the bad times.

And it's really easy to see the good times, right? You can see both as what they are. But at the end, I think that it you know that the good times were good for whatever the reasons were at the time. Like you guys ended you had a lot of money at the time, things, life was great. And then the super rock bottom times we all go through. You know.

You know, it it's it's the in between where you can go, look, we know this was great, she was good, she was she did this, or he did this, or whatever. But we aren't good for each other. Like, I I know several people who are in toxic rel and I mean toxic relationships. Like

Yeah. That's that seems to be a common theme amongst people our our age, just where they're at in their life and what they're going through and how they're going through. It's doesn't seem like a fun time.

It it was wild. There was a friend of mine that I worked with, and her her relationship with her ex-husband was utterly crazy. Like, and I'm talking like bro fighting each other, they drink every night, and it was just crazy. It was just a crazy, crazy, crazy thing.

And now, looking back on it, like we talk every blue moon. and she's just different. You know, she like she got past it. She knows she doesn't want to be in that ever again. And and it takes that and and they were together. I I know she told me it was like high school years. And and and I and I think they didn't divorce until

Was there, I think I left in two thousand and nine or ten. So like, you know, they were together almost twenty years. Like it was just, but and it was she's hell told me it was always that bonkers. Maybe not in the very, very beginning, cause like it never is. But, you know, it went off the rails and it just stayed this crazy train like for fucking, you know, fifteen years. And I was like

How? And then of course, kids. Kids are always this wild answer. like, I want to stay together until the kids are this age. And I'm just like, okay. I mean, sure. I I can understand it. I can understand it on paper. Because yeah, you're trying to like not uproot them and you're trying not to.

Do this, but being in the same house. No, no, I I I don't call bullshit on the uprooting and and like 'cause like look, I know people who I know women who have tried to take their kids out of state. Which is for well, one, illegal, but secondly, crazy. Like, stop. But

Yeah, I th I call bullshit on that.

I'm a I'll tell you for sure that you'll you can be fine and and be part of a divorced family and your kids will be fine. As long as it's being done correctly. So by by saying, I'm gonna wait for them to be whatever, eighteen. Let's just say eighteen, 'cause it's a it's the legal age, right? I I've heard that from several friends. Just

A lot of times. And I'm like, look, it's that it's not realistic. All you're doing is is really showing your kids stay in a shitty relationship until your kids are old. That's all you're doing. You're teaching them. And and here's the other thing. By staying in a shitty relationship, and I mean an outright shitty relationship, you're

I if you're a female and you're s you're in a shitty relationship and it's pretty well known, right? Inside the family. What you're teaching your daughters is

It's okay to stay in something that's so shitty because of whatever. They pay the bills, they they pay half the rent, they, you know, take care of this, whatever it is. You all you're doing is handing that down to the next generation in your family to just do the same shit. And I've and I've seen that happen where the daughter just fucking Xeroxed it.

Did the exact same shape. Like,

Well, and and men with sons will do the same. Like whatever you teach your kid is what they consider the norm. And then, you know, they're gonna have to go through their life and try to figure out what their norm is, which is probably gonna be something completely different than what you had with your person. Hopefully, hopefully they make better mistakes or they make different ones and and and that happens. But they're your

You're teaching them the foundation, period. So whatever you do with that, it's on you.

Yeah, I agree. yeah, I I shouldn't say it's just women. That that's wasn't a very fair statement 'cause dudes will do the same crazy shit.

I think you know, fr in my experience and this has been through my life, I think that men go through they really

eat a big shit sandwich in relationships, you know what I mean? And they're and and they go through it I think even more so than women do because they don't talk about it, because they do stay quiet, because they don't know how to get help to to come to whatever decisions they need to have or realizations or I don't know, I think men suffer in silence a lot more in this situation than women do.

Yeah. I yeah, and I think that more women will seek out therapy. Where where where men won't. You know. I now to be fair to some men, you know, i we I think men do their best to talk to their friends.

You'd hope so. Right.

I don't think men talk much. That's just the vibe I get.

Yeah, I'll I'll agree with that. I because like I I don't wanna say that there's outliers 'cause there's outliers in every you know, there's outliers in women. Like women don't talk to people either.

At times yes.

You know, so yeah, I I would say that mostly that is a true statement. Men don't talk enough. But the I think the thing is too is that w we all try to handle it on our own. And and I think that that that women, yeah, and I'll put it in quotes, like

Look, as independent as we all are, we all have someone to talk to. I think there there's there's a lot of dudes that have female friends and they so they just kinda go, Hey, you know, this

Or they have hairdressers that they'll come and dump all their shit on and you're like, Whoa. Yeah. No, it's not free 'cause I will charge them for that. I tell Is this a therapy session or am I doing your hair?

That's yeah. Yeah. Free therapy. Sort of.

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Or and if it's both, it's really bad.

Yeah, yeah. I better like you.

Yeah. look, I I think that the biggest statement that I can say from this, at least for a lot of people out there, and we've said it on this show a bazillion times because we've talked about our real lives. l life goes on.

It does. It thankfully it does. You're not gonna be stuck in any situation. The worst time I ever felt in my life, I will never have to experience that again. I c I can't even pull all of the hurt that that I had inside of me out to feel that again. I just won't. It just doesn't happen. You grow, you learn, you evolve, life goes on, situations change, the grass does get greener.

It it does. Yeah.

You just have to water it. Like there's so much that's waiting for you after after a breakup. You know, and I I was told once that that got you don't ever know what God is sparing you from by something happening. And I remember thinking that

about someone when I broke up and and I looked at his life versus my life and I was like, Well, I didn't have to go through that. Well, I didn't have to go through that. I didn't have to go through that either. Like I I saw after time how much better my life was not having to deal with that situation. Like it it it would have been a lot harder to to stay there and to deal with it. And

I was grateful to God that I wasn't in that situation any longer. Although I missed the person, I was grateful that I it was over. And and that's just

just how life is. And and I think when you're you're young and you're in love and and you get stuck with devastation you're never going to think about that it moves on or that there's going to be other things. It's it almost seems like it's the end all be all of life. And

I remember I was there, but it's so not the end all be all. There's so many times in your life if you just took a different road, you would end up with a different life with a different person at a different time in a different situation. And and we're just on a path to find our way to get, you know, to to find the answers that we need as a soul and that and we move on and life changes quickly. And if you don't believe that, try to go through an earthquake where your whole life

is devastated and everything is on on the floor broken and and oozing and and dead and what have you and you pick it all up and you throw it away and you start all over again. That's that's kind of how a breakup is. Like it's messy and it hurts and it feels like the biggest loss at the time. But it's not. You'll have worse, you'll have harder, you'll have better, you'll have a more

like intense situation. Life just throws you different things and it's up to you to to just have some faith that you're gonna get through it.

Yeah, you you have to realize that at the end of the day you can battle back from pretty much anything. Yeah.

Yeah. Anything. I yeah, we could talk about that for days, myself, but yeah, you could get through you could get through the the biggest broken heart and still have an amazing life come to you.

And and it's not just, you know, it's not just breakups. Like, you know, is I don't talk to my kid. That's that's a huge that was a huge loss that I had to overcome. Or my mom passing away again. That was another huge loss. Like it doesn't just come in breakups. I I I would venture to say that the breakups were a little bit easier than the other life experience that were harder to overcome, you know? So you just have to put your experience in front of you.

And say, okay, if I went through this, I could get through that and hopefully you you get to where you're okay and you're open and willing for somebody else to come in and fill that space. And if you're lucky, you'll have even better than you had before.

Exactly. The the pain this is how I look at bre I mean any bad thing in your life. It it's all scar tissue. You know, like it it's it's gonna just continuously scar up. Yeah, you can cut it a bazillion times and it's gonna scar up and it's it it it's going to teach you that the

Not that there's always a better thing, because I don't always agree with that statement. You know, like you said, like the the grass the grass is greener on the other side. If you water it or hop the fence. It it there's there's other ways of like finding the green grass. But once you get there, you do have to water it. So for young folks, actually for any folks, but young people.

You know, yes. young heartbreak is the worst. It it'll Yeah, it'll throw you into into a loop sometimes. That's where you have to kind of try to find the big positive of it. That it is, you know.

Hmm. It is gut wrenching.

It it is something that'll go on. It is something that that, you know, you're gonna meet somebody else and and you're gonna go, this is what I was, you know, really missing. Yeah, this is what I was missing because it it doesn't mean that that the other person wasn't giving you something good. It just means that they weren't giving you exactly what you thought you needed. And

This is way better than what I had. Yeah.

Right.

And look, it it being single in today's day and age to some people is better.

Right? I think for me it's it's it I was happy being married, I've been happy dating, I've been happy being single, but

the common denominator is me. I have chosen to be happy. I have chose I chose to look at life differently so that I didn't have all of this hanging over my head. 'Cause I mean, loss could go on forever. You could you could literally torture yourself with it forever and be miserable and not have, you know, your life together and and think of all you lost or or you failed at or whatever. But if you if you want to stay in that you're

just wasting days like go through it feel what you gotta feel but then be open to life moving on because ultimately life always moves on and it's not ever gonna stay the same so just prepare for that and and and get into you what what makes you happy do things that that create a place where you're not sulking and being bitter and stalking people like let them go

Yeah.

Somebody doesn't want to love you, please for everything holy on this earth. Let them go. And if you're supposed to be with them, there's nothing you could do about it. But I don't want to spend 10 years being miserable, not being loved. I don't want to I don't want to go a month with somebody that doesn't want to be with me. Who who needs that shit? Find stuff that makes you happy. Buy a fucking Harley. I'm telling

Right.

Yeah. I I I think that there look there's a lot to that. I I think that it taking care of you i in in the end of the day is the the best suit for the soul. the people sh other companions or you know, whatever you want to call that relationship wise should

shouldn't be the only thing. It should fill voids in you. You know what I mean? Like if if you're if you let's just say young, if you're a gamer and and you're a you know, look, the person who's gonna be in your life has to realize that's what you like to do. If if they're going to bitch and moan about it all the time, it's never gonna work. Let them go. Get yourself a gamer girl.

I I I kinda have yeah, there's plenty. It's kinda like me, like look, I do photography and I tell people, like, look, I take pictures of half naked girls. That's just the way it is. My answer to that is cool, if you're uncomfortable, come to a shoot with me and help me out.

There's a lot of out there.

Then you'll realize exactly what it is, that it's work, it sucks, it's not what you think it is, and it's it's not hitting on girls for two hours. It's n nothing like that. And and I've told somebody that recently, and they were like, you'd let me do that? Yeah. Yeah, and not only that, you're gonna realize you don't like holding a light for fucking two hours. Because it's it's not fun.

You got nothing to hide.

I mean, it is fun, but it's it's more work than people think it is. You know, like I've taken I went and shot pictures of a friend of mine and you know, we're in a studio, there's lights, it's blazing ass hot in there, we had fans going everywhere, you know, and the sweat is rolling down my head.

And here she is, like sitting on the bed with a fan on her, like, okay. I'm like, you ready? She's like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. She's like, maybe you should sit down for a second. I was like, yeah, maybe I should. But but you have to, you have to connect with somebody who's going to be like a puzzle piece. You can't be someone else for somebody else. You'll just be miserable.

You know, it will you bend for people? Absolutely. I think that yes. But if you if you're going to be someone you're not, then you you're going to be miserable for the for the rest of your life. You're going to get the small things out of whatever it is. And then one day you're going to wake up and go, Yeah, I don't like this guy.

And you're supposed to.

You're doing it wrong.

Very true.

I I l I liked him for this at that time, whatever it was that it was filling a void. but you realize you're like, yeah, I can't stomach the way he chews crackers. Like and and I'm not saying that that's a reason to break up with somebody, but

That turns into, you know, he doesn't clean the hair up in the shower. He doesn't want to go dancing with me. He doesn't. It turns in then you realize the bigger picture. And you're like, it has nothing to do with the crackers. It has to do with just we're not compatible. We're not the same. We're not looking for this. And

And I hate to say it, but this is why divorce rates are so high, I think, with with women later in life, because they wake up one day and go, I'm just not happy. Okay. And and I I think I don't want to get into it too deep, but I think men men stay in relationships way too long because we don't realize things are bad. We're just like, whatever, like.

Yeah, this is I can see where it can be bad, but we're just too simple and you guys aren't. So, you know, a and I think that but we I think men love hard. Like and not not that women don't, but I think men just love hard. When we find somebody, we we dig in and we will

absolutely.

Fight until the, you know, last breath. And then even after that, maybe not give up for a little while and then but then I think men when we cut it off, we cut it off. It's a rap rap. And and and I think that's where a lot of men go, I'll never talk to that person ever again and I don't give a shit. And they mean it. Yeah.

It's a wrap, yeah.

I I try to stay friends with people and and and when I mean friends, like I've had people go, Well, they're still your friend. I said, like what is a friend? Like there's I think there's there is levels of that. Like there's people that I talk to twice a year. I send them a Christmas text and a birthday text. Just, you know, because they're part of my life for 25 years.

So I you know, I wanna check in. I wanna make sure she's still okay and she's alive and you know, things are but I'm not I'm not chasing her down either. Like I'm not I'm not going, what are you doing? Like I don't I don't say hi every month. Like life has gone on and we've both chose that. So so my my thing is, you know, I think I'm gonna have some some days ahead of me of of trying to help my friend out.

and do my best to to tell them that it's going to be okay and

It's just it's a rough one. And there's nothing worse than hearing from somebody that was that's on the phone with somebody and they just go, you know, I just need a hug right now. And you're like, Wish you were here. You know, it's 'cause I I've been there. Yeah. That's what I said. I said, Don't worry, when I see you, like, you know, there's there's one here for you and I'm here for you. But I because I've been there. I've been I remember sitting in a empty room.

Well, you got one comin', you know.

with a sleeping kid upstairs and and just being like, Yeah, I really n I yeah, and I really needed somebody. And thankfully, you know, people come into your life for different reasons and an old friend came into my life that I could talk to and it I was lucky and it was a person I could talk to on the phone and then we could talk. So was

Ugh, that's heartbreaking.

You know, even though texting was s big then, it was still helpful. So

Yeah.

You know, just I would I would say be kind to yourself and know that this this isn't supposed to be right now, but if it's supposed to be it will at some point. But in the meantime, find you. You know, do things that make you happy, do things that that bring you peace and you know, we'll see what happens next. But know that there's always another situation, there's always something right around.

Yeah.

Correct. And I think I'll I think I'll take that and that's kinda what I'll say to them. Like, you know, if it's meant to be it will and you know

It'll be okay.

And don't ever beg somebody to love you. Like you don't want that either. So you have to you have to let go and s just you know if they're meant to be, they'll come back around and come back around and come back around. That's just how it is in life. And if they're not, you won't think about it that much.

Correct.

Yeah. That's it's very true. And it's funny, like it's it's you know, you you don't realize how many exes are Australian because they're boomerangs and they'll keep coming back. And and sometimes the harder you throw away, they they come a they come a s coming back quick.

No.

Yeah. I don't you know what's funny is is I don't call people back. Like when it's when it's done or when I've been treated bad enough or or don't like it, I just don't call back. And

It doesn't have to be bad. It's just not gonna happen for a while. And they know like she won't be calling me anytime soon and I don't. Because when you let it go, really let it go. Because if it's supposed to be, trust me, you'll find it'll find you. It will find you. But don't chase it around either. If somebody doesn't want to love you, leave them alone.

I also think that you can you can i if if your relationship was as good as everyone thought it was, right? If if you had a good relationship with somebody and you want to have some kind of relationship in the future with them, it's okay to tell somebody like, I we can't talk right now.

And and I think that that's incredibly healthy. So if it if you're if you're part of that, it's okay to say like not no, we this is not a good idea. Yeah. And and you know, you when when the time is right, we'll both be able to do it. And and and you just never and sometimes it will never be right. And

Not right now.

Yeah. But if I get the chance to do it, you're in trouble.

Yeah. And and look, I I think that there's again, there's positives in a lot of that stuff. Just just just know that like it's gonna be fine. Like I know Yeah. It it's hard, it's not easy, but just you know, and get through it. Just you know, s yeah

Gonna be a bumpy ride. Just get ready.

You'll get through it. You will get through it.

Go just get through the pain. It's sometimes it's better just to take it, you know? It's it it's the surgery thing, right? And like a lot of people don't want to have surgery because it's like, but I'm gonna be in pain and it's gonna hurt and it's gonna yeah. But the end is amazing. You're like, I feel so much better. I can walk again or whatever it is. I can breathe again. yeah.

I could breathe again.

I'm so glad I went through the nose surgery. That was like one of the best ones I ever did. The shoulder one, I'm still kind of like, ooh, maybe I fucked up on that one, but it's just still healing, that's all I. But all in all, that's what relationships are. They're they're things that you you're gonna have to go through some of the shit to come out the

Ha ha ha.

And it's with it's with friendships, like I said, it's with kids, it's with parents. Er you know, er everybody evolves, everybody changes, everybody grows, and you don't always grow together. You sometimes you have to separate. So just just know that shit, just know that it all comes I said that before, they all come back. They will. Give it some time. And don't be a dumbass.

Yeah.

And and someone will fill the void, you know, whether it's a friend, a girlfriend, a you know, a male friend, if if you're a guy, like someone's gonna fill that void for you and you're gonna go, yeah, like I don't know, you know why I was down. So it's it's all part of that. Like I I get it. It's all good.

All right, Miss Tina. We're gonna roll this out. I know sorry we're a day late, but lots was going on. Yeah, yeah. But there's a lot going well, not really. I'm gonna I'm gonna this is it's Thursday. It's gonna come out today. I'm gonna edit it and put it out right now. So we'll be a day late, but there's a lot going on all over the place. life is a happening, but we're gonna

We're a couple days late. Yeah.

Life is a happenin'.

We're gonna I'm gonna do my best to get ahead here for a little bit. I'm gonna sit down with Tina and see if we can't on a on a day record a bunch of them and and get ahead just so we're not stressed out. anyway, it's it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday and keep checking us out. We appreciate it. for Tina, I'm Rob. We'll see you in a week. Bye.

See ya.