Hello and welcome to the Travelling Introvert. Want to talk
about guilt? Guilt comes up a lot in many different ways and one of the things
I found is it is a real driving force to what people do and why they do it. And
guilt guilt can come up in many ways that can be detrimental but.
Also can be helpful. But a lot of it is cultural.
And what you've been taught to do. And if you're a people
pleaser, this is a huge thing. It's not necessarily about pleasing people, it's
the guilt involved if you don't. So, are you guilty for no reason? Guilt is a
feeling that everyone experiences at one time or another and that is fine. It
is an emotion that tells you that you've done something wrong. But while guilt
is a normal and healthy emotion, there may be times where you end up feeling
guilty for no reason. And this type of guilt is known as irrational guilt and
is often the result of irrational thinking. And what this means is that you are
thinking about something in a way that's not based on reality. The thoughts you
are having are not a fact. There is no data supporting that information. For
example, if you feel guilty because you think you should have known better than
doing something even though you had no way to know about it, you're wasting that
emotion. You end up feeling that guilt. Alternatively, you may feel guilty
because you could have done more to prevent something from happening. As a
result, you just made the wrong choice, which may lead to anxiety and even
depression.
So we need to talk about ways to kind of look at guilt.
First of all, figure out is the guilt based on data or is it just a thought? If
it is just a thought, you need to acknowledge that guilt that you're currently
feeling is irrational. Remember that just because you feel guilty doesn't mean
you actually are guilty of anything. If you can convince yourself or point
yourself in the right direction and reframe and take a look at the data and see
that the guilt is irrational, it will be easier for you to let go of it. Write
down your feelings so you can read them out loud. Take notice of the areas that
are just thoughts and not fact and not based on data and are not realistic.
Circle them or write a note, whatever it takes to make you aware of how
irrational it is, then identify the source. Once you have acknowledged that the
guilt is irrational, it's really crucial to figure out where that is coming
from. What's in your past that might be causing you to feel guilty? Often the
source of guilt isn't even something that you should feel guilty about.
If you can identify the basis of, let's be honest, the
shame, then you'll be able to better deal with it. And sometimes that takes
time and practise, and that's okay. It's not something that will happen
overnight. This is a continual practise. Especially if you're the kind of
person who's been feeling guilty for most of your life and say you're now 2030
or 40 years old.
It is going to take a long time for you to unlearn.
That automatic a lot of the time. Feeling of Guilt one thing
you can do is try to change your thinking patterns. This means learning to
question your thoughts and evaluating whether they are based on data and facts
or reality. If you find that your thoughts are not based on facts, then you can
start to challenge them. Another thing you can do is talk it out. Another way
to overcome that irrational guilt is to find someone to talk to. It could be a
friend, a family member, a therapist, somebody that you trust. Talking through
your feelings and talking about them can help you understand them better and
might help you get answers. It is essential to take action to overcome feeling
guilty all the time. It shouldn't be a habit. And to be fair, a lot of the time
it is just because of the way that we've been conditioned. This might mean
forgiving yourself, for whatever it is you feel guilty about, or taking steps
to make sure that you don't repeat the behaviour that caused that guilt in the
first place. Taking action will help you overcome that guilt and move on. Don't
get me wrong.
Everyone struggles with guilt in some way, shape or form.
You are not alone. It is a common emotion. But there are things that you can do
to overcome it. Talking to someone about changing your thinking patterns and
with mindfulness and time, you'll learn to overcome that irrational guilt which
will help you move on with your life and your career. Thank you for listening.
This is Janice at the Career Introvert, helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.
