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The Path To Purpose with Dana Shalit
Episode 7030th June 2026 • The New Truth • Kate Harlow
00:00:00 01:04:50

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In this inspiring episode, Kate sits down with one of her favourite humans, Dana Shalit - entrepreneur, philanthropist and impact consultant - for a heartfelt conversation about purpose, alignment, and what it truly means to create a life that reflects who you are.

Dana is the author of Pathways to Self: The Path to Purpose, a powerful guide that introduces nine steps to self-realization - a framework designed to help people reconnect with who they truly are and create a life of meaning, authenticity, and purpose. In this conversation, Kate and Dana explore each of the nine steps and how they can become a roadmap for living a more conscious, aligned life.

Together, they unpack the common misconception that purpose is something you have to find "out there," and instead reveal how purpose unfolds through self-trust, courage, and the willingness to follow what feels deeply true - even when the path doesn't make logical sense.

Drawing from Dana's book, lived experience, and years of guiding others, this conversation is filled with practical wisdom and heartfelt insights for anyone navigating change, questioning their next chapter, or feeling the quiet pull toward something more.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Dana's nine-step framework for self-realization from Pathways to Self: The Path to Purpose.
  • Why purpose isn't something you discover - it's something you grow into.
  • The relationship between inner healing and meaningful impact.
  • How to distinguish fear from genuine intuition.
  • Why letting go of certainty creates space for possibility.
  • The courage required to choose an authentic life over an expected one.
  • How living in alignment creates a life of greater peace, fulfillment, and purpose.

This is a beautiful conversation about coming home to yourself, trusting your own path, and remembering that your purpose isn't something waiting to be found - it's revealed every time you choose to become more fully yourself.

About the Guest:

Dana Shalit is an entrepreneur, impact consultant, and philanthropist with over two decades of experience in the charitable sector. She is the Founder and Chief Impact Officer of House of Impact, a strategy and consulting firm supporting the next generation of wealth stewards through values-aligned giving and impact strategy. Her upcoming book, Pathways to Self: The Path to Purpose through the Nine Steps of Self-Realization (August Release) reflects on how a deeper relationship with Self can align us with our authentic purpose and activate our unique contributions to the world.

Website: https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/

About the Host:

Kate Harlow is the founder of The Unscriptd Woman, the creator of The Expanded Love Coaching Method, and host of The New Truth podcast - ranked in the top 1.5% globally. With over 15 years of experience teaching, coaching and facilitating transformational retreats worldwide, Kate has helped hundreds of thousands of women break free from outdated relational patterns, old patriarchal ways of thinking and unspoken rules to live by.

Her infallible methods guide women to release the deeply ingrained scripts that keep them stuck- empowering women to step into their highest, most magnetic, and fully expressed selves. Through her coaching, retreats, podcast and upcoming book The Unscriptd Woman, Kate is redefining what it means to be an empowered woman in today's world, showing women how to stop waiting for permission and start creating a life and love that aligns with their deepest truth.

Known for her rare ability to see exactly where women are out of alignment with themselves, Kate offers a path back to unwavering self- trust, meaningful joy and true fulfillment. Her work is a revolution - one that liberates women from societal expectations and invites them into a life of radical authenticity, thriving relationships and unshakable self-worth.

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Transcripts

Dana Shalit:

You learn how to feel your feet in the ground,

Dana Shalit:

the wind in your hair, taste what you're tasting, smell what

Dana Shalit:

you're smelling, hear what you're hearing, and I think

Dana Shalit:

that's why I also fell in love with Costa Rica the way that I

Dana Shalit:

did, because it's very much an assault on your senses, like you

Dana Shalit:

have no, there's so much happening in nature around you

Dana Shalit:

here that you have no option except to be in the present

Dana Shalit:

moment, anchoring into it, and so for me to become, you know,

Dana Shalit:

to really learn how to express, I had to get quiet enough to

Dana Shalit:

listen to, are these my desires or are these the desires that

Dana Shalit:

have been painted in front of me, and honestly, most of my

Dana Shalit:

desires were not my own,

Kate Harlow:

that's the thing, like so many women come to me

Kate Harlow:

are like, "Sus, what I want. I'm like, "It sounds like the script

Kate Harlow:

that everyone wants. Like, how do you know it's what you want?

Kate Harlow:

And it's like they're fighting, they're fighting, they're

Kate Harlow:

fighting. It doesn't mean you're not going to have those things,

Kate Harlow:

but like, so often, like, we haven't even really tapped into

Kate Harlow:

our desires and explored it.

Kate Harlow:

Hello, beautiful. Before you get into this week's incredibly

Kate Harlow:

powerful conversation and episode. I wanted to share a

Kate Harlow:

little bit about my very special guest, one of my favorite humans

Kate Harlow:

on planet Earth, Soul Sister, powerhouse badass Dana Shalit

Kate Harlow:

who is an entrepreneur, an impact consultant, and a

Kate Harlow:

philanthropist with over two decades experience in the

Kate Harlow:

charitable sector. Dana is one of my expanders in my life. When

Kate Harlow:

this woman came into my life, I was like, oh my god, we need to

Kate Harlow:

spend time together. She is so powerful, always evolving,

Kate Harlow:

expanding, has created the most magical life, lives in Costa

Kate Harlow:

Rica, runs or owns a retreat center, is just like growing and

Kate Harlow:

expanding, and has built so much success, but from her soul, not

Kate Harlow:

from her patterns. So she's just one of the most inspiring people

Kate Harlow:

I've ever known. She's the founder and chief impact officer

Kate Harlow:

of the House of Impact, which is a strategy and consulting firm

Kate Harlow:

supporting the next generation of wealth stewards through

Kate Harlow:

values aligned giving and impact strategy, and she's just

Kate Harlow:

recently written a book that comes out in August called

Kate Harlow:

Pathways to Self: The Path to Purpose through the nine steps

Kate Harlow:

of self-realization. So, in this episode, we go through these

Kate Harlow:

nine steps, and she shares what they are, and it's the most

Kate Harlow:

powerful conversation. May her energy expand you like it

Kate Harlow:

expands me, a woman truly living in alignment with her soul gifts

Kate Harlow:

and with the magic and magnitude of who she is, so that is my

Kate Harlow:

intention of having Dana on again, and women like Dana is to

Kate Harlow:

expand what you believe is possible and to shift you on a

Kate Harlow:

frequency level, so maybe listen to this episode a couple times,

Kate Harlow:

share it with every woman you know who is ready for so much

Kate Harlow:

more. Enjoy. Hello, my loves. I am over the moon exhilarated. I

Kate Harlow:

just told Dana that I every episode that I have an

Kate Harlow:

conversation with a guest, I always say I always start by

Kate Harlow:

saying I'm so excited. Catherine used to say I'm so pumped. Now

Kate Harlow:

I'm saying I'm over the moon exhilarated, because that is

Kate Harlow:

very accurate. I have on one of my besties, soul mates, and

Kate Harlow:

favorite humans on planet earth. This is her second time on the

Kate Harlow:

New Truth Podcast. Hi, Dana. Hi, my love. So good to be here

Kate Harlow:

again. Welcome back. When were you on the new truth the first

Kate Harlow:

time? Do you remember? I do.

Dana Shalit:

It's been about four years, because we were in..

Dana Shalit:

we weren't in Costa Rica at the time, I think. Were we together?

Dana Shalit:

I can't remember. I think we might have filmed it together.

Kate Harlow:

Oh, were we living together at the time,

Dana Shalit:

think so.

Kate Harlow:

I think so too. I recall we were in this house in

Kate Harlow:

Costa Rica. We lived together as a brief, brief time for a month

Kate Harlow:

or something. Yeah, immediate besties, 88% compatible on the

Kate Harlow:

match matrix, which is a compatibility test. It's. I

Kate Harlow:

don't even think it's called the battery matrix anymore, but

Dana Shalit:

the pattern..

Kate Harlow:

oh no, it's not. Okay, we are also highly

Kate Harlow:

compatible on the pattern. No, the match matrix was something..

Kate Harlow:

it's definitely based on astrology and some other things.

Kate Harlow:

But, anyways, regardless, we were 88% maybe it was 90% but

Kate Harlow:

I'll never forget this is important, because also this

Kate Harlow:

episode, yes, it's about purpose, but purpose is equals

Kate Harlow:

alignment, and you know, aligned sisterhood is essential for

Kate Harlow:

women to live a life of alignment, and so I just think

Kate Harlow:

back to all the moments with you, like this moment on the

Kate Harlow:

couch, where I read it, must have been the pattern. I read

Kate Harlow:

the pattern out loud to you, and what our compatibility was on

Kate Harlow:

the pattern. Sidebar, if you don't know the pattern, it's an

Kate Harlow:

astrology app. I highly recommend it. And I was reading

Kate Harlow:

our compatibility on the pattern, and Dan, I was bawling.

Kate Harlow:

I just felt so seen.

Dana Shalit:

By you and by the pattern, and witnessing how seen

Dana Shalit:

I felt in the relationship with you.

Kate Harlow:

Yes, it was just like described us to a T, and we

Kate Harlow:

were both like, oh my god, this is so amazing. If you have any

Kate Harlow:

friends that you are low compatible with on the pattern,

Kate Harlow:

maybe it's a flag. No, just kidding, but, but yeah, I've

Kate Harlow:

just have so many highlighted moments with you. Oh yeah, I

Kate Harlow:

remember Italy. My only downside with Italy was I've had eczema

Kate Harlow:

on my face ever since that trip in 2020 A lot of

Dana Shalit:

gluten, we

Kate Harlow:

ate a lot of gluten, that was 2024 We had

Kate Harlow:

five days of gluten, and then I've had a rash on my face ever,

Kate Harlow:

that's two years ago.

Dana Shalit:

Wow,

Kate Harlow:

that's actually quite crazy, that that's two

Kate Harlow:

years ago.

Dana Shalit:

And that's where we were writing together on that

Dana Shalit:

trip. We did a writing workshop together in Florence. And

Kate Harlow:

okay, so Dan and I did a write, this is classic,

Kate Harlow:

y'all. I know you're all thinking, where's my book? It's

Kate Harlow:

on hold, but Dan, Dan, and I did a writing workshop together, and

Kate Harlow:

she wrote and published a book. When does your book come out?

Dana Shalit:

august 18.

Kate Harlow:

Did you tell our writing teacher?

Dana Shalit:

No, not yet. I should tell her. My

Kate Harlow:

gosh, you need to tell her. So we were in

Kate Harlow:

Florence, and we met up there for five days. That was such a

Kate Harlow:

magical time, and we and I didn't get the eczema till the

Kate Harlow:

very end, so I got to just enjoy the gluten five days. We went to

Kate Harlow:

this beautiful.. that was such a sweet day. One day writing

Kate Harlow:

workshop with, oh my gosh, what's her name? Yes, Lisa.

Kate Harlow:

Lisa, we'll get back to you on her last name. Anyways, it was

Kate Harlow:

an amazing workshop. She does these incredible writing

Kate Harlow:

workshops. It was such a sweet day, and Dana was working on her

Kate Harlow:

book. Your book is called Pathways to Self: The Path to

Kate Harlow:

Purpose. And so we're going to be unpacking the principles of

Kate Harlow:

Pathways to Self today and The Path to purpose, but you were

Kate Harlow:

just in the beginning phases of your book, and here you are

Kate Harlow:

publishing it. Happened like I'm so fucking proud of you. Thank

Dana Shalit:

you, thank you. It's so exciting, it's.. it's

Dana Shalit:

exciting, and it's one of the more vulnerable things I've ever

Dana Shalit:

done in my life. I'd say,

Kate Harlow:

yeah, I get that. Yeah, I think that's my barrier.

Kate Harlow:

It's like every time you sit down, it is vulnerable.

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, and I will say, with five years in the, in

Dana Shalit:

the process, so even when we did our writing workshop, I had

Dana Shalit:

already been working on it quite a while. Yeah, and I had, I had

Dana Shalit:

started, I put my work into a writing competition, which had

Dana Shalit:

me sort of move away, like move towards that desire to actually

Dana Shalit:

get it published, so it was a process too.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, amazing, so powerful. So, I mean, I'm sure

Kate Harlow:

we'll talk lots about your book, but I'm so happy you're here,

Kate Harlow:

and I'm so excited to talk about this topic. This I just did that

Kate Harlow:

Kenya retreat in February. I had six women come out here at, and

Kate Harlow:

we went to Olopangi, and on a magical adventure, and that

Kate Harlow:

retreat, the theme was purpose, and now my, like, I just shared

Kate Harlow:

with you, my oh hi retreat, the theme is purpose, and this is

Kate Harlow:

it's so up for all the women I'm working with now, I feel like

Kate Harlow:

with all the astrological changes and all the awakenings

Kate Harlow:

that are happening now, people are having a hard time forcing

Kate Harlow:

themselves into places that they're not aligned anymore,

Kate Harlow:

like jobs. So, yeah, where do you want to start? Pathways to

Kate Harlow:

purpose take us there.

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, so the way the sort of the subheading that

Dana Shalit:

I call is the past, the path to purpose through the nine steps

Dana Shalit:

of self realization, and so in the book I talk about my nine

Dana Shalit:

steps, it's a teaching memoir, so my very untraditional journey

Dana Shalit:

of, you know, getting to myself, which is where I am now, living

Dana Shalit:

in Costa Rica, living what feels like my utmost purpose, giving

Dana Shalit:

back, and really feeling like the last 20 years of my life led

Dana Shalit:

me to this moment, and it's exactly where I'm meant to be,

Dana Shalit:

and I have no idea where it's going to go from here, but the

Dana Shalit:

first step in all of that started with like a spark of

Dana Shalit:

self-awareness, and it was very unexpected at the time, I was

Dana Shalit:

living downtown Toronto, producing events, working 100

Dana Shalit:

hour weeks, I had my own business and company producing

Dana Shalit:

pretty much charitable fundraisers, fashion shows, very

Dana Shalit:

glitzy, very glamory on Instagram. If we had it back

Dana Shalit:

then, it would have looked incredible. But in real life, I

Dana Shalit:

was suffering, I was suffering a lot, and I had, and I had panic

Dana Shalit:

attacks and anxiety, and it was like the first time in my life

Dana Shalit:

where I said to myself, like, there must be something else out

Dana Shalit:

there for me. I would say that was like the through line of my

Dana Shalit:

journey. And a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to do a

Dana Shalit:

subconscious deep dive, and asked if I would do a past life

Dana Shalit:

regression with her. She was a psychotherapist, and asked if

Dana Shalit:

she could dig me deep into my subconscious, and I was like,

Dana Shalit:

sure. I was a yes person, so I said, sure. And that's how it

Dana Shalit:

all began. Wow, that's so wild to think of you in that. I mean,

Dana Shalit:

okay, on one hand, I totally could picture it, because you're

Dana Shalit:

a manifesting generator, and you have so much energy, and you're

Dana Shalit:

such a badass. Like, you are absolutely one of my biggest

Dana Shalit:

role models when it comes to business and purpose, and, and

Dana Shalit:

just like power, like a woman fully in her embodied feminine

Dana Shalit:

power, and so I can absolutely see you in that too, and imagine

Dana Shalit:

that life for you.

Kate Harlow:

Did people know that's interesting? You just

Kate Harlow:

said that, because I just had a chat with a client, and she was

Kate Harlow:

saying how sometimes she's around these women, and she's

Kate Harlow:

like, am I the only one who has problems? They just seem like

Kate Harlow:

they have it all together. I'm like, they do not. Nobody,

Kate Harlow:

everyone's pretending to have it all together, because we've been

Kate Harlow:

taught to pretend. So, just, just want to unpack that a

Kate Harlow:

little bit, because I imagine a lot of women will relate to

Kate Harlow:

that. Like, even having a job that is pretty cool, you know,

Kate Harlow:

sparkly glitz and glamor. Did people know how you were

Kate Harlow:

feeling? And, like, take us to that time in your life a little

Kate Harlow:

bit.

Dana Shalit:

No one knew how I was feeling. Wow, yeah, no one.

Dana Shalit:

I don't even think I knew, because at that point in my

Dana Shalit:

life, I was like, if I just do the next thing, if I just

Dana Shalit:

achieve, make the next paycheck, if I just throw the next epic

Dana Shalit:

fashion show, or travel to the next exotic destination, then

Dana Shalit:

I'm going to feel whole. It was very external, the whole, my

Dana Shalit:

whole living experience was, if something out there gets fixed,

Dana Shalit:

I'll be better inside. So I just kept trying to fix the outside.

Kate Harlow:

Okay, that's relatable, I'm sure, for a lot.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, like the next, the next thing, it's that, yeah, it's

Kate Harlow:

that like carrot, that dangling carrot that we never get to eat,

Dana Shalit:

and society sets it up like that, a little bit,

Dana Shalit:

right? Like we all, and that's why I think so many women in

Dana Shalit:

midlife, after you know, getting the job, having the partner,

Dana Shalit:

doing the kids, getting the fence, like the house, the, you

Dana Shalit:

know, it's it's like it's the, it's the fantasy of that you

Dana Shalit:

speak so beautifully about, that we all have a version of it,

Dana Shalit:

until we.. I think it was Jim Carrey that said, "I wish

Dana Shalit:

everyone could be a millionaire to know that's not the answer.

Dana Shalit:

It's like that kind of vibe. I wish everybody could get it all.

Dana Shalit:

For me, it was professionally.. it wasn't necessarily as much on

Dana Shalit:

the personal side, but professionally I had it all, and

Dana Shalit:

quotations.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, wild. Okay, so you go down this deep dive

Kate Harlow:

with the psychotherapist, and it is so amazing. I love that

Kate Harlow:

you've always been a yes woman. You're the best. Love you. I'm a

Kate Harlow:

yes girls. I've had yes, like most people in that position in

Kate Harlow:

that job would be like, what? No, that sounds weird, and I

Kate Harlow:

don't believe in past lives, and what is that? But what I've

Kate Harlow:

heard about past life regression, is even if you

Kate Harlow:

don't, because a part of us will never believe, right? Because we

Kate Harlow:

train for that, and you've been trained to not believe in the

Kate Harlow:

unseen world, even though it's literally the thing that's like

Kate Harlow:

creating everything, but we've been trained so deeply and

Kate Harlow:

continue to be trained to not listen to that, so I've heard

Kate Harlow:

that even if you don't believe it to be true, that it still

Kate Harlow:

works if you're open enough to go through the process.

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, it was. It was unlike anything I had ever

Dana Shalit:

experienced. Essentially, she, she was so calm, she said, we're

Dana Shalit:

gonna get into a deep meditative state together, and you're just

Dana Shalit:

gonna allow your mind to wander, and I, you know, and I have

Dana Shalit:

become a, I'm a practicing, I have become a practicing

Dana Shalit:

hypnotherapist since then, and I did study past life regression

Dana Shalit:

work. It's not what I lead with, but I have done it, and what I

Dana Shalit:

do when I work with clients is I actually give them full

Dana Shalit:

permission to make it up. So, like, give your mind full

Dana Shalit:

permission to make it up. If your mind can make up an entire

Dana Shalit:

life on the spot with a, you know, with these huge inflection

Dana Shalit:

moments, with a death scene, with huge aha spiritual moments,

Dana Shalit:

that I'm here for it, even if it's the most creative Steven

Dana Shalit:

Spielberg of all time, I don't actually need to prove that it's

Dana Shalit:

right, all I can speak about was that the experience of reliving

Dana Shalit:

or creating this life that was so different from mine, just by

Dana Shalit:

going into a deep meditative state? She was just asking me

Dana Shalit:

questions about what I'm seeing, hearing, experiencing, and it

Dana Shalit:

was, it was so different that I came out of that regression with

Dana Shalit:

so much lightness in my heart, and things that were so

Dana Shalit:

unexplainable to me before, like this deep loneliness that I felt

Dana Shalit:

was just gone. I can't even say, other than it felt like a

Dana Shalit:

balloon that popped, that that loneliness is not mine anymore.

Dana Shalit:

It's not mine to carry, and so if that's the path to get there,

Dana Shalit:

I'm there for that. I'm here for that.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Amazing. So, that was so..

Kate Harlow:

so can you take us through the nine steps? Like, is that one of

Kate Harlow:

the steps? Was that the first step?

Dana Shalit:

First step is so.. yeah, the knock on the door, the

Dana Shalit:

moment where you start to say things the way they are don't

Dana Shalit:

work for me, there must be something else out there for me,

Dana Shalit:

and you start. You separate between the thoughts in your

Dana Shalit:

mind, the, you know, we say we have 50 to 60,000 thoughts that

Dana Shalit:

go through a brain every day, over 95% of them are repetitive,

Dana Shalit:

that's how our brain works,

Kate Harlow:

right? Not true,

Dana Shalit:

and yeah, they're based on limiting beliefs and

Dana Shalit:

patterns, the societal constraints, and there's so much

Dana Shalit:

to unpack there. So I think self-awareness is that first

Dana Shalit:

spark that says what my mind is saying and thinking is not

Dana Shalit:

necessarily the truth, and the only truth, and so, and even

Dana Shalit:

what I'm feeling is not necessarily the only truth. So

Dana Shalit:

it starts with self awareness, and then it moves into self

Dana Shalit:

trust, and that's, you know, for me self trust was about starting

Dana Shalit:

to follow the synchronicities, and starting to trust that even

Dana Shalit:

though I'm not exactly where I want to be, and exactly where I

Dana Shalit:

should be.

Kate Harlow:

Wait, were those that was two? Yeah, number one

Kate Harlow:

is awareness, number two is self trust. So, trusting this moment,

Kate Harlow:

even if my life looks like yours, where I'm working 100

Kate Harlow:

hours, I'm hanging by a thread. I'm anxious as fuck that this

Kate Harlow:

moment, too, is exactly where I'm meant to be, because you

Kate Harlow:

couldn't be anywhere else, like, and there's that many sliding

Kate Harlow:

door

Dana Shalit:

moments, like in life, and I'm sure you can talk

Dana Shalit:

about so many. Like, for me, there was I speak about a moment

Dana Shalit:

in university where I don't get back into my program by point

Dana Shalit:

zero 4% and there was like nothing I could do about it.

Dana Shalit:

They wouldn't let me back in the program, and so I ended up

Dana Shalit:

taking an art program, and you know, starting to paint as part

Dana Shalit:

of my degree, and I ended up selling all that art and

Dana Shalit:

traveling all over the world. And during that time, I took one

Dana Shalit:

philosophy class, which introduced me to the Celestine

Dana Shalit:

prophecy and the whole theory of energetics, and so, like, if

Dana Shalit:

that point zero 4% hadn't happened, if that door hadn't

Dana Shalit:

slid one way, my whole life could have been so different,

Dana Shalit:

and so trusting those little nuggets along the way as much as

Dana Shalit:

you don't like.

Kate Harlow:

Okay, I don't think I even knew that, that

Dana Shalit:

Assyrian art,

Kate Harlow:

and then it traveled the world. I got this,

Kate Harlow:

like, I still have goosebumps, they're like rippling. This is a

Kate Harlow:

really prolonged goosebump experience that is amazing. And

Kate Harlow:

I actually only watched, if you have not seen the movie Sliding

Kate Harlow:

Doors, watch it. I only watched it recently in Kenya, in the

Kate Harlow:

tent, when I was at Olopengi, and I, because it was for sale

Kate Harlow:

for like 399 or something on iTunes or Apple, so I bought it,

Kate Harlow:

and I watched it, because there was no Wi-Fi in the tent, and I

Kate Harlow:

watched it, and I was like, "Shit, this movie's so good,

Kate Harlow:

because it is, it's that's it, you go this way or that way, and

Kate Harlow:

we can't really make a wrong choice if we're meant to awaken,

Kate Harlow:

life will keep redirecting, redirecting, and maybe some

Kate Harlow:

people never like, they keep going that way, that way, that

Kate Harlow:

way, but yeah, oh my gosh, that is amazing.

Dana Shalit:

It was, it's, and I have a lot of those kind of

Dana Shalit:

experiences I try to touch upon in the book, but I think we can

Dana Shalit:

all look back at our lives and see those moments where we

Dana Shalit:

thought, you know, even you work with, you know, so many women

Dana Shalit:

who have these, you know, these horrible heart-wrenching

Dana Shalit:

heartbreaks in their life, and thinking that, you know, you're

Dana Shalit:

never going to recover from these inflection points. You

Dana Shalit:

know, I thought I was never going to recover from that

Dana Shalit:

point, point zero 4% I didn't tell my parents about that for

Dana Shalit:

over a decade, that's how shameful I was, and they were

Dana Shalit:

like, they didn't care, ultimately, but because I found

Dana Shalit:

another way back in, but it was so big for me in my 20s, I

Dana Shalit:

thought my life was going to end, you know, and so those

Dana Shalit:

moments I have the tattoo on my arm that says this too shall

Dana Shalit:

pass, you know, the good, the bad, it all will pass, so that's

Dana Shalit:

what that is about for me.

Kate Harlow:

Oh, that is so amazing, and I feel like a great

Kate Harlow:

little practice could be for women listening, could be like

Kate Harlow:

write down those moments, like for me, like not being able to

Kate Harlow:

get on the airplane. Okay, I've told that story 4 million times,

Kate Harlow:

but to go to Costa Rica, I was supposed to go meet my parents

Kate Harlow:

in California, and then go to Costa Rica for the winter in

Kate Harlow:

2022 and I couldn't get on the plane because Covid red zone

Kate Harlow:

blah blah blah, and then ended up moving to Greece, and like

Kate Harlow:

those moments happen all the time. I even think like you miss

Kate Harlow:

an elevator, like even think about 911 like all the people

Kate Harlow:

that didn't go to work, or just felt like skipping work, or had

Kate Harlow:

some reason why they, they didn't go to work that day, so

Kate Harlow:

many stories. So, I think that would be a great practice for

Kate Harlow:

this step, because I know most women don't trust themselves,

Kate Harlow:

and don't, in my experience, when I start working with them,

Kate Harlow:

because we've been taught to not trust ourselves, but all, and

Kate Harlow:

don't trust life, but all those moments that life redirected

Kate Harlow:

you, and you, and you ended up on a path that was, you know, so

Kate Harlow:

much more aligned for you. I think that'd be a great little

Kate Harlow:

practice.

Dana Shalit:

I love that. I love that. I can't wait to hear the

Dana Shalit:

comments of the people who talk about their experiences, and

Dana Shalit:

it's also something to be witnessed in that, because,

Dana Shalit:

like, someone. Say to you, what, that's crazy, and you're like,

Dana Shalit:

yeah, that is crazy. Now that I think about

Kate Harlow:

it, yeah, yeah, because if you just keep it

Kate Harlow:

inside, you might not even realize how amazing it is, but

Kate Harlow:

those are like the guy that broke your heart, but then you

Kate Harlow:

ended up attracting much healthier love, or whatever,

Kate Harlow:

like there's so many of them, yeah. Share them, and then I

Kate Harlow:

mean, I don't go to the New Truth Facebook group very often,

Kate Harlow:

but I can if you share them in there or send us a private

Kate Harlow:

message. I would love to hear those stories.

Dana Shalit:

I love that.

Kate Harlow:

Okay, what's number three?

Dana Shalit:

Self discipline, so you know it's about to me, self

Dana Shalit:

discipline is still it's the practice of doing the things

Dana Shalit:

that are as easy not to do as they are to do, and I really

Dana Shalit:

think it is an important, integral part of achieving

Dana Shalit:

anything we want to achieve in life, and definitely in terms of

Dana Shalit:

coming back to our authentic self, because it's, you know, I

Dana Shalit:

think so many of us, when it comes to some manifestation

Dana Shalit:

practices, it's a very passive experience, and so for me,

Dana Shalit:

self-discipline, the path towards finding my purpose, and

Dana Shalit:

that included, you know, leaving that company that I built

Dana Shalit:

behind. For me, it meant moving into - I actually moved into the

Dana Shalit:

network marketing industry for over a decade, where I saw at

Dana Shalit:

that time that that was going to be my path to achieving my

Dana Shalit:

purpose, which I really thought was going to be, which was

Dana Shalit:

always philanthropy and giving back. I always wanted to be a

Dana Shalit:

philanthropist. I just didn't know how to get there, and so

Dana Shalit:

when I found network marketing, I learned that self-discipline

Dana Shalit:

was actually the path for me to not only have success in that

Dana Shalit:

area of my life, but all areas of life, so things like morning

Dana Shalit:

routines and evening routines and gratitude lists and

Dana Shalit:

self-full practices, meaning giving to myself that which I

Dana Shalit:

seek from the outer world. All of those became part of my

Dana Shalit:

self-disciplined habits.

Kate Harlow:

I love that. You know, I remember in a human

Kate Harlow:

design reading a long time ago, I was told I don't have, like, I

Kate Harlow:

have undefined willpower, heart, which in human design is

Kate Harlow:

willpower, and they're like, oh, it's going to be harder to

Kate Harlow:

commit to yourself, or like, have willpower, that is okay,

Kate Harlow:

maybe it was true, because it used to be hard, but now it's

Kate Harlow:

like, the more I find, the more you do it, the more you want to

Kate Harlow:

do it, because it feels good, so it's like I've then become

Kate Harlow:

addicted, for lack of a better word, to my meditation

Kate Harlow:

practices, to going to, I mean, here it's Dojo, before it was

Kate Harlow:

Pilates, before it was bar, but it's like having those things

Kate Harlow:

and doing those things that actually feel good. It might be

Kate Harlow:

hard to commit and devote and discipline in the beginning, but

Kate Harlow:

once you like hit the I don't know 21 days to build a habit or

Kate Harlow:

whatever, once you go through the the more challenging first

Kate Harlow:

beginning of the journey, in my experience it becomes so, so

Kate Harlow:

much easier because you become addicted to feeling good rather

Kate Harlow:

than feeling shitty,

Dana Shalit:

and it's like a muscle, like everything else, so

Dana Shalit:

like you're exercising a muscle, and then that muscle. I love

Dana Shalit:

actually using the word addicted. I've had to become

Dana Shalit:

addicted to becoming a gym girl. This is only something I've done

Dana Shalit:

in the last two years, and one way I did that, because one

Dana Shalit:

thing I know, but the mind is that it's always going to move

Dana Shalit:

towards something joyful and away from something not joyful,

Dana Shalit:

so when you are building a habit, there's always going to

Dana Shalit:

be this moment of, like, actually doesn't always feel

Dana Shalit:

good to be at the gym, because I'm exercising my muscle. So I

Dana Shalit:

started listening to books at the gym, but like fantasy books,

Dana Shalit:

so that, like, I can't wait to know what is coming next up. So

Dana Shalit:

I'm like, oh, I have to go to the gym to listen to my book,

Dana Shalit:

and all of a sudden I'm two hours there, and I'm just taking

Dana Shalit:

my time, and I'm loving my life, so you know, creating habits

Dana Shalit:

that are joyful, so you don't necessarily want to do it, but

Dana Shalit:

your morning routine is so joyful, because every part of it

Dana Shalit:

is so curated for your joy that you can't even imagine not doing

Dana Shalit:

it anymore,

Kate Harlow:

like your butter coffee with protein in it. Oh my

Kate Harlow:

gosh, every time I've ever stayed or lived with Jana, I

Kate Harlow:

wake up to this little, what's it called, what's the coffee

Kate Harlow:

thing called, the percolator? Yeah, it's like, and she's got

Kate Harlow:

like the butter, it's.. I don't know if it's cinnamon, and it's

Kate Harlow:

like protein, and I love butter coffee. Some people think it's

Kate Harlow:

disgusting, but I feel like you haven't tried it. If you think

Kate Harlow:

it's disgusting, it's so good, and it stops this coffee from

Kate Harlow:

spiking your blood sugar. So, actually, it's way better for

Kate Harlow:

you, because the coffee, it likes the caffeine, doesn't hit

Kate Harlow:

your system in the same way, so you don't crash after. But,

Kate Harlow:

anyways, that's a little education about buttercup, but

Kate Harlow:

that, like that ritual, like you do, you have all these like

Kate Harlow:

little morning rituals that are sacred, that are non-negotiable,

Kate Harlow:

and I love that, that's the best about the fantasy books at the

Kate Harlow:

gym, that's so smart,

Dana Shalit:

it works, so the mind will always move towards

Dana Shalit:

what, towards joy. So, when you make your routines, or your

Dana Shalit:

habits, or the disciplines, when they become a devotion, so,

Dana Shalit:

like, mornings are for delicious coffee, and meditation music,

Dana Shalit:

and lighting an incense, and 10 minutes on your own, if that's

Dana Shalit:

all you have, it's really about reclaiming the discipline, is

Dana Shalit:

not reclaiming your actions, it's about reclaiming your

Dana Shalit:

power, of like, I can actually bring what I want into my life.

Dana Shalit:

It's, it's not more about doing, it's about the being of it all.

Kate Harlow:

Yes, and having the discipline to, I mean, that

Kate Harlow:

word's used so much in martial arts, right? That in how

Kate Harlow:

connected martial artists are, or monks to their meditation

Kate Harlow:

practice, to their, to their help, and how present you have

Kate Harlow:

to be, and I mean, really, disciplines about presence too.

Dana Shalit:

It is, you think, about like professional

Dana Shalit:

athletes, like it's not about any end goal, it's about the

Dana Shalit:

consistent action, the things that are as easy to do as they

Dana Shalit:

are not to do. It's in the book, The Slight Edge, I think it was,

Dana Shalit:

they talked, they showed like a graph where the same actions

Dana Shalit:

every day can align, but like that point that 1% will start to

Dana Shalit:

skew the the arc over time. That's what discipline is about.

Dana Shalit:

So, when I talk about business coaching, for example, I say

Dana Shalit:

like you create your discipline and you choose something that is

Dana Shalit:

just stretches your muscle just enough, but it is like you can

Dana Shalit:

absolutely do that every single day. It is like it's just a

Dana Shalit:

choice at this point if you're doing or not. Sometimes when we

Dana Shalit:

said those really big goals and you're like, I'm gonna make $100

Dana Shalit:

million this year, it like really it paralyzes us, right?

Dana Shalit:

So, like, what is the goal that you know without a doubt you can

Dana Shalit:

hit and you can work towards it every single day, and then you

Dana Shalit:

start increasing that goal.

Kate Harlow:

Love it. Okay, so let's review. One is awareness.

Kate Harlow:

Hopefully, you're aware after this episode, if you're not

Kate Harlow:

already aware. Two is trust, trusting

Dana Shalit:

yourself, trusting life, trusting your path,

Kate Harlow:

trusting your redirections. Yeah. Number

Kate Harlow:

three, discipline. Yeah, yeah. Love it. All right. What's

Kate Harlow:

number four?

Dana Shalit:

So, this one I call selfishness, and I think this is

Dana Shalit:

especially important for women, I would say, like me, that have

Dana Shalit:

definitely had, you know, I would say influenced to believe

Dana Shalit:

that being selfless is the path towards value, and you know, I

Dana Shalit:

had this story where I was really burning out. I had been

Dana Shalit:

in my, my network marketing business for over eight years,

Dana Shalit:

and I had reached the very top, and I was talking on stages, and

Dana Shalit:

I was training, and I was making amazing income, and I was just

Dana Shalit:

so, so, so burnt out, and I started to collapse, and I

Dana Shalit:

started to not show up, and I like couldn't get out of bed,

Dana Shalit:

and I was having all those classic burnout symptoms, and

Dana Shalit:

one thing that happened was that I had a friend who was very used

Dana Shalit:

to me being there all the time and giving, giving, giving, and

Dana Shalit:

she exploded on me one day, and she said, "You're just so

Dana Shalit:

selfish, and I, I sat with it for so long because I had spent

Dana Shalit:

my whole life running a charity, giving back my time, my money,

Dana Shalit:

my energy. This was like there couldn't be a worse insult that

Dana Shalit:

she could give to me at that time, and I wasn't selfish, I

Dana Shalit:

was just tired. That was my experience, and so I started a

Dana Shalit:

really long process of really going inwards and reclaiming

Dana Shalit:

selfishness, which I now call self fullness. The whole

Dana Shalit:

practice of putting your own oxygen mask on first, of you

Dana Shalit:

know, pouring from your overflow versus from your breadcrumbs

Dana Shalit:

that are left in your system, from the want to versus the have

Dana Shalit:

to. So that whole time of my life I had to redefine all of

Dana Shalit:

that, and I did. I lost people in my life. I don't know, you've

Dana Shalit:

heard the phrase, I know you have, that the only people who

Dana Shalit:

have issues with your boundaries are the people you need them

Dana Shalit:

with in the first place. And I absolutely had that experience

Dana Shalit:

where I lost really close friends during that time in my

Dana Shalit:

time of self-reclamation, of choosing self fullness over, you

Dana Shalit:

know, selfishness. It was the most selfish, selfful thing I

Dana Shalit:

could do was actually give to myself first.

Kate Harlow:

I love that. And as you're talking about, like,

Kate Harlow:

selfless, selfish, which they're on the polarized side, I think

Kate Harlow:

women do, women that are selfless, which is everyone I've

Kate Harlow:

ever worked with, like it's huge part of our programming for

Kate Harlow:

centuries, so I think swinging over to selfish, like actual

Kate Harlow:

selfishness, men do it really well, so like take a page out of

Kate Harlow:

their textbooks, and and then you practice the extreme side,

Kate Harlow:

which will feel so uncomfortable, so you can feel

Kate Harlow:

it in your body, and come to. Place of balance, and then the

Kate Harlow:

fullness is the place in the middle where you do give to

Kate Harlow:

others, but from fullness, not from emptiness. And another

Kate Harlow:

thing, when that woman said, the you're so selfish, I, for every

Kate Harlow:

woman who does this after this episode, and somebody calls you

Kate Harlow:

selfish, I want you to say back to them, Thank you.

Dana Shalit:

I've been.. I, it was something I had to.. I

Dana Shalit:

started to say, thank you. I've been working really hard at

Dana Shalit:

that. Thank you for saying that. And it was true. I love that.

Kate Harlow:

Like, don't even say I've been working hard at

Kate Harlow:

it, because it's like, let them short circuit. They'll be like,

Kate Harlow:

what the fuck? I just insulted you. You're not supposed to say

Kate Harlow:

thank you. Like, let them short circuit, because we have to

Kate Harlow:

rewire, like, how women are out there in the world, and I think,

Kate Harlow:

like, to start to see it as a compliment. One thing that

Kate Harlow:

Abraham Hicks said a long time ago that really stood out is

Kate Harlow:

that I'll never forget, is like when someone else calls you

Kate Harlow:

selfish, they're basically saying you need to choose my

Kate Harlow:

selfishness over your own, because I'm being selfish in

Kate Harlow:

saying you need to do this thing, or you're selfish, and

Kate Harlow:

then you're being selfish by saying no, and so I'm saying I'm

Kate Harlow:

basically saying you need to choose my selfishness over your,

Kate Harlow:

no, obviously choose yours, because like, thought, what was

Dana Shalit:

happening during that time, that is absolutely

Dana Shalit:

like I had been dedicating my life over to this human being in

Dana Shalit:

so many ways, and so it was just like I was absolutely short

Dana Shalit:

circuiting, and one of my mentors at the time, this will

Dana Shalit:

you love, that is a woman named Mama Gina, and she, she says

Dana Shalit:

when you give, like she really wants you to receive, so it's

Dana Shalit:

like this whole practice of receiving is you don't just say

Dana Shalit:

I'm gonna be self full, like you actually have to practice

Dana Shalit:

letting things in, like help and compliments. So, one of her

Dana Shalit:

famous, favorite famous phrases is when someone gives you a

Dana Shalit:

compliment, God, you're so beautiful, you say thank you,

Dana Shalit:

it's true. And that was something I had to practice

Dana Shalit:

again and again, because it's like you're not only receiving,

Dana Shalit:

you are like owning it. So, what you shared reminded me of that.

Kate Harlow:

Love her, Mama Jean is such a great example of a

Kate Harlow:

woman, like fully in her power, but from such joy and pleasure

Kate Harlow:

and receptivity. And, oh my god, I love

Dana Shalit:

it.

Kate Harlow:

Thank you. It's true. Yeah, because that, in my

Kate Harlow:

experience, that is the when, when you're really in alignment,

Kate Harlow:

though, like, and people do compliment you, that's how it

Kate Harlow:

feels. It's like, thanks, like, thank you. Yeah,

Dana Shalit:

and why can't we? Why can't we own that? I don't,

Dana Shalit:

you know, why can't we own all these things, right? So, yeah,

Kate Harlow:

yeah, women have been taught to be like, no, no,

Kate Harlow:

no, you're beautiful, no, no, no, you're this, no, no, like,

Kate Harlow:

put it, push it away, push it away, which keeps us small and

Kate Harlow:

alone and sad, yeah. yeah, amazing. Okay, so self boldness

Kate Harlow:

is four.

Dana Shalit:

That's right.

Kate Harlow:

I love it. I should write them down. I'm like, I

Kate Harlow:

think I'm memorizing them pretty good, but I'm writing them down

Kate Harlow:

just in case.

Dana Shalit:

I was like, am I missing? No, I'm not missing

Dana Shalit:

anything. The fifth step is self acceptance, and it's a natural

Dana Shalit:

part after you're being, you're starting to choose yourself with

Dana Shalit:

selffulness. When people leave, and they do, again, it does

Dana Shalit:

happen when you change yourself. Your relationships do change.

Dana Shalit:

It's, it's part of it. I think the next step for me was about

Dana Shalit:

accepting myself wholly in my selfishness, so okay, let's just

Dana Shalit:

say that's the truth. Maybe I'm selfish. How do I accept that

Dana Shalit:

part of myself? So, Mama Gina calls it pushing all 88 keys of

Dana Shalit:

the piano and learning how to love every key on that piano.

Dana Shalit:

And for me, I had a crazy experience, so once I started to

Dana Shalit:

go down this rabbit hole of what I call subconscious work, so I,

Dana Shalit:

you know, I did my first past life regression, then I started

Dana Shalit:

learning about hypnosis, and through the network marketing

Dana Shalit:

industry, I dove deep into personal development, and I read

Dana Shalit:

1000s of books, and I went to seminars, and I just started to

Dana Shalit:

learn and learn and learn, and I went back to that same past life

Dana Shalit:

regressionist after a few years, and it was to learn about this

Dana Shalit:

guilt that I had been feeling inside of me, that was just so

Dana Shalit:

not explainable, and in that experience, which you can read

Dana Shalit:

about in the book, I actually, you know, you walk into a deep

Dana Shalit:

meditation, and on the other side, she says, you know, start

Dana Shalit:

examining your feet, and who do you see, and what are you

Dana Shalit:

noticing, and it's like a movie starts to play out in your mind,

Dana Shalit:

and in this case, I, and again, I don't, whatever you believe,

Dana Shalit:

this is just what I saw, I saw myself as a soldier in France in

Dana Shalit:

the 1800s and this whole, and I was a man in this experience,

Dana Shalit:

and this whole story unfolded with really deep spiritual

Dana Shalit:

lessons, and I actually, as much as on paper, this man lived a

Dana Shalit:

life that was, he hurt a lot of people, let's just say, leave

Dana Shalit:

that, I actually came out of it feeling empathetic towards this

Dana Shalit:

human being. And that in that story was a very hurt again a

Dana Shalit:

lot of people and I I started to see that even that all things

Dana Shalit:

can be true and that everybody believes their own truth and is

Dana Shalit:

doing the best they can with the tools that they have and that

Dana Shalit:

there's always opportunity for atonement and every part of our

Dana Shalit:

journey, and that big spiritual lesson in that life was about

Dana Shalit:

atonement, and about when you know better about sharing that,

Dana Shalit:

and just doing as best as you

Kate Harlow:

can, and so

Dana Shalit:

self-acceptance came from, except you know, Carl

Dana Shalit:

Young calls it the shadow side, accepting the shadow side, the

Dana Shalit:

parts of us we wish were just not there. It was, it was the

Dana Shalit:

work of accepting every key of my own piano.

Kate Harlow:

I love that. I've never heard Mama Gina say that.

Kate Harlow:

That's beautiful. I love it. I accept every key of your piano.

Kate Harlow:

Oh,

Dana Shalit:

I know that's why I cry. All the..

Kate Harlow:

you saw all the.. we went through all the waves,

Kate Harlow:

and I love you so much, and yeah, I think the beauty to

Kate Harlow:

this, this step, self-acceptance is the more, in my experience,

Kate Harlow:

the more we accept ourselves fully. When we accept ourselves

Kate Harlow:

fully and are in relationship with all parts of ourselves, and

Kate Harlow:

really have deep love and, and understanding, I mean, our

Kate Harlow:

parts, like the protective parts of us are there protecting us

Kate Harlow:

for a reason, there's a good reason, and you just need to

Kate Harlow:

know how to be in relationship with them. But when we're in

Kate Harlow:

that place of loving and accepting our all these parts of

Kate Harlow:

ourselves, we attract people who love and accept all parts of

Kate Harlow:

ourselves, like that's you end up attracting that. It's it's

Kate Harlow:

like everything we attract is just a reflection of what's

Kate Harlow:

happening inside and how we're treating ourselves internally.

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, and you know, we come into this world thinking

Dana Shalit:

that we're perfectly whole, like, you know, we express

Dana Shalit:

ourselves, we share our truth, we do what we want, we cry, we

Dana Shalit:

scream, we get mad, we laugh. It is just like who we are. And

Dana Shalit:

then, you know, these things happen that make us feel like

Dana Shalit:

something's wrong with us, like my anger is something I need to

Dana Shalit:

be processed alone in a room until I put my smile back on,

Dana Shalit:

and that my body is inherently wrong and faulted, and that I

Dana Shalit:

need to act this way to make other people feel okay in my

Dana Shalit:

presence, which is usually about shrinking, and you know, and,

Dana Shalit:

and you know, I'm very good at that, by the way. I can make

Dana Shalit:

other people feel comfortable just by, you know, putting all

Dana Shalit:

my energy on them. I learned that very, very young as a

Dana Shalit:

survival strategy, right? So self acceptance is that process

Dana Shalit:

of just learning how to love and accept ourselves just the way we

Dana Shalit:

are, with nothing to fix or change.

Kate Harlow:

I'm hearing a song now. I love you just the way you

Kate Harlow:

are. Oh my god,

Dana Shalit:

I miss your voice in your singing. You're an

Dana Shalit:

amazing singer. I don't know if everybody heard that in this new

Dana Shalit:

truth world.

Kate Harlow:

I don't. Okay, I love to sing. I love to sing.

Kate Harlow:

I'll say that. Thanks, babe. Thank you.

Dana Shalit:

It's true.

Kate Harlow:

Thanks for accepting all my singing.

Kate Harlow:

Sometimes it sounds horrible, sometimes it sounds good.

Kate Harlow:

Although I think the new truthers that have been here a

Kate Harlow:

while have heard me sing many times. Definitely, the heroines

Kate Harlow:

that have worked with me at the immersion, I was always nice.

Kate Harlow:

Actually, the last immersion I lost my voice, and I was, we

Kate Harlow:

were doing, I was like the most singing group I've ever had,

Kate Harlow:

which is like my dreams, and actually recorded a podcast the

Kate Harlow:

day after the immersion with no voice, so but I was like trying

Kate Harlow:

to sing still with them, and I sounded so tone deaf because my

Kate Harlow:

voice would just squeak, it was like

Dana Shalit:

interesting, yeah,

Kate Harlow:

yeah, we'll, we'll assess that in a past life

Kate Harlow:

regression, all right, self acceptance, what's next, I love

Kate Harlow:

it. This is

Dana Shalit:

me move into self-expression, speaking our

Dana Shalit:

truth, even when it's uncomfortable, and part of that

Dana Shalit:

is singing. How many women I've worked with specifically that

Dana Shalit:

are so scared to sing? I know I had that experience that I sang

Dana Shalit:

in front of a group when I was young, and I totally bombed it,

Dana Shalit:

and I never sang in public again. So, like, I think a lot

Dana Shalit:

of people have that again. Expressing our truth can be very

Dana Shalit:

uncomfortable, and more than that, expressing our needs and

Dana Shalit:

desires, you know. We just had this conversation, Kate, before

Dana Shalit:

we got on the podcast, as like just owning the fact, what we

Dana Shalit:

actually want when we're scared we're not going to get it, and

Dana Shalit:

like how vulnerable that feels, but then asking for help, so

Dana Shalit:

like using our voice to actually say the thing that we're so

Dana Shalit:

scared to say, and you know, express our voice even when it's

Dana Shalit:

imperfect, without having the script, if you will, that's part

Dana Shalit:

of, you know, deep communication, if you will.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, I think I feel like the script is actually

Kate Harlow:

what makes people so afraid to express, and it's like, if we,

Kate Harlow:

because when we're home, plugged in, connected, we're all like

Kate Harlow:

enlightened, or all, we all are a channel, we all have a vessel,

Kate Harlow:

we all have a message of a. Words we all have the perfect

Kate Harlow:

words to say in the non, non scripted version of that word,

Kate Harlow:

right? The exact precise words to say when we're home, when

Kate Harlow:

we're connected, but we've been taught to script. Even I had a

Kate Harlow:

client once that was like, okay, I'm going on a date, I just want

Kate Harlow:

a few, like, give me a few questions, because I want to

Kate Harlow:

make sure we have real conversation, real connection,

Kate Harlow:

and I wanted to be deep, and so I was just like, give me a few

Kate Harlow:

questions just to help, and I was like, I will never do that,

Kate Harlow:

because then you are in your head in a script following these

Kate Harlow:

questions, if you do some somatic practices, do some

Kate Harlow:

meditation, do some self-leasuring, do some breath

Kate Harlow:

work, show up on your day, present in the moment, you'll

Kate Harlow:

know exactly what to say, and it'll be coming from your heart

Kate Harlow:

and soul, and like that's true expression. I think we all have

Kate Harlow:

the ability. So then, for you on your journey with acceptance and

Kate Harlow:

then expression, how did you access that?

Dana Shalit:

How did I access that expression? A lot of the

Dana Shalit:

work for me happened in the work with Mama Gina, so again, I have

Dana Shalit:

had so many incredible mentors along the way, and I've invested

Dana Shalit:

a lot of money in the learning. It's, it's, it's what I'm here

Dana Shalit:

for. So, you know, I would say a lot of people came out of Mama

Dana Shalit:

Jean, as we did some pretty radical stuff in her courses,

Dana Shalit:

and they came out of there super, like, I am like out with

Dana Shalit:

the world, and I'm like, sexually expressed, and like,

Dana Shalit:

and I was watching it all unfold in front of me, and as someone

Dana Shalit:

who has actually been single a lot of my life, I actually had

Dana Shalit:

the complete opposite experience. I went completely

Dana Shalit:

inwards, and this is something that you know about me. I chose

Dana Shalit:

sexual sobriety for a long period of time. I didn't date, I

Dana Shalit:

actually went, you know, I came from a place where I had a lot

Dana Shalit:

of relationships and constant action, and I was never really,

Dana Shalit:

even though I was single, I was never really without something.

Dana Shalit:

I went completely insular, and so part of my expression of

Dana Shalit:

learning how to express was actually about going inwards and

Dana Shalit:

getting quiet enough so that I could listen. So, learning how

Dana Shalit:

to be, if you will,

Kate Harlow:

isn't that interesting? It feels like kind

Kate Harlow:

of counterintuitive. I get it for sure, but, like, I feel like

Kate Harlow:

that would sound counterintuitive. Like, in order

Kate Harlow:

to express, which is so outward, you need to go inward and be

Dana Shalit:

and listen. I had an amazing practitioner work on

Dana Shalit:

me. She was a Chinese doctor, and she said, 'Wow, you're

Dana Shalit:

really good at doing, but you have no idea how to be. And I

Dana Shalit:

was like, 'Yeah, that's hilarious. And I was like, 'Oh

Dana Shalit:

my god, that like action. Look, how do you do that? What do you

Dana Shalit:

do to be? And you know, how do you do being? What's what's the

Dana Shalit:

answer there? And she said something that I've carried with

Dana Shalit:

me for over a decade. She said you anchor into your senses, you

Dana Shalit:

learn how to feel your feet in the ground, the wind in your

Dana Shalit:

hair, taste what you're tasting, smell what you're smelling, hear

Dana Shalit:

what you're hearing. And I think that's why I also fell in love

Dana Shalit:

with Costa Rica the way that I did, because it's very much an

Dana Shalit:

assault on your senses, like you have no, there's so much

Dana Shalit:

happening in nature around you here that you have no option

Dana Shalit:

except to be in the present moment anchoring into it, and so

Dana Shalit:

for me to become, you know, to really learn how to express, I

Dana Shalit:

had to get quiet enough to listen to, are these my desires,

Dana Shalit:

or are these the desires that have been painted in front of

Dana Shalit:

me? And honestly, most of my desires were not my own. That's

Dana Shalit:

the thing, like

Kate Harlow:

so many women come to me, are like, "This is what I

Kate Harlow:

want. I'm like, "It sounds like the script that everyone wants.

Kate Harlow:

Like, how do you know it's what you want? And it's like they're

Kate Harlow:

fighting, they're fighting, they're fighting. It doesn't

Kate Harlow:

mean you're not going to have those things, but like, so

Kate Harlow:

often, like, we haven't even really tapped into our desires

Kate Harlow:

and explored, and that's it. The being, God, you just took me.

Kate Harlow:

Remember my deck? Remember the house with the bugs that the

Kate Harlow:

bugs fell from the ceiling? I had, okay, I had the super cute

Kate Harlow:

on Airbnb. She actually, that woman reached out to me, saying

Kate Harlow:

she was selling it, and asked if I wanted it, and I was like, no,

Kate Harlow:

thank you. But it was so beautiful. It was such a cute

Kate Harlow:

house, but it had a thatched roof, and these black bugs at

Kate Harlow:

night would fall from the ceiling, like 1000s of them.

Kate Harlow:

That was like a horror movie. But the daytime, I would spend

Kate Harlow:

hours.. remember the deck with the two chairs with the on the

Kate Harlow:

river. Oh my god, I would spend hours having a cacao and

Kate Harlow:

meditating and singing and journaling, and it was like my

Kate Harlow:

spot. Costa Rica is that it is like senses overload. It's so

Kate Harlow:

beautiful, the birds, the smells, the lusciousness. It's

Kate Harlow:

amazing.

Dana Shalit:

And so many people come here and they sign up for

Dana Shalit:

paradise, and it forces you to be. And you know what happens

Dana Shalit:

when you're being is that all your stuff comes up, and oh my

Dana Shalit:

god, I

Kate Harlow:

went through a lot,

Dana Shalit:

and I feel like I'm, you know, I'm over five

Dana Shalit:

years in now, I'm almost six years in, it's like I've sort of

Dana Shalit:

found my flow a little bit more, but even coming from North

Dana Shalit:

America, I was just in North America for work, and it takes

Dana Shalit:

me two weeks to like land again, and I'm sure. You feel that way

Dana Shalit:

in Kenya. There's so much less happening that you have no

Dana Shalit:

choice. Yeah,

Kate Harlow:

yeah, to feel it's amazing. It is, and it's

Kate Harlow:

similar, actually. The coast of Kenya, I don't know if I told

Kate Harlow:

you this, I went to the coast and it felt like Costa Rica and

Kate Harlow:

Kenya had a baby. It's on the Indian Ocean, so the ocean is

Kate Harlow:

the warmest ocean in the world. It's like a bath, and this, the

Kate Harlow:

sand is white, is so beautiful, and it's so luscious with

Kate Harlow:

monkeys everywhere, like just like Costa Rica. But then,

Kate Harlow:

Kenyan people, it's the best. It's amazing. I'll have to take

Kate Harlow:

you there when you come visit me. I can't wait. Have you been

Kate Harlow:

to not,

Dana Shalit:

not there, but I have been to Kenya, but not

Kate Harlow:

Kenya. Yeah, okay, taking you there. Okay, so self

Kate Harlow:

acceptance, self expression. Actually, I'm going to go back

Kate Harlow:

to the beginning: awareness, trust, discipline, self

Kate Harlow:

fullness, self acceptance, self expression, which comes from

Kate Harlow:

being and feeling and really getting to know your soul,

Kate Harlow:

because otherwise it's fake expression. If you're trying to

Kate Harlow:

nail it, you nail it. Yeah, and you feel

Dana Shalit:

that when people express them authentically, you

Dana Shalit:

know. So I

Kate Harlow:

used to work with speakers, and we'd have ones

Kate Harlow:

that were like seven figure business owners, like had huge

Kate Harlow:

following, and they get on stage, and like we could feel

Kate Harlow:

like it was like a micro change in their voice, and it was like

Kate Harlow:

the performance they were really good at it, and audiences

Kate Harlow:

usually fall for it, but it was a show,

Dana Shalit:

you're nailing it, and that's part of the

Dana Shalit:

discernment of being like something's off in myself, like

Dana Shalit:

I

Kate Harlow:

feel

Dana Shalit:

that's part of the listening. So, the last step,

Dana Shalit:

the eighth step, before moving into the ninth step, which is

Dana Shalit:

self-realization, is the step of self-love. No, wait, that's..

Kate Harlow:

we're on the seventh, we're on the seventh.

Dana Shalit:

Oh, let me see. hold on,

Kate Harlow:

123456,

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, self. oh, yes, that's right, self love.

Dana Shalit:

And there's one more. You're right, my bad. So self love is

Dana Shalit:

next. This is so much. I feel like I can't talk too much

Dana Shalit:

because everything you talk about in your work is about self

Dana Shalit:

love, but this has been a journey for me, and I would say

Dana Shalit:

the epicenter of that journey happened, where again I got

Dana Shalit:

everything I imagined I wanted, and then it was in my experience

Dana Shalit:

all taken away, and for me it all got taken away as life, when

Dana Shalit:

life is lifeing. I lost a few people really close to me in a

Dana Shalit:

short period of time. My business changed, so my company

Dana Shalit:

closed down a big arm division of the business that I was very

Dana Shalit:

much steering forward, and in another country, and then they

Dana Shalit:

closed it. They actually closed it while I was sitting beside my

Dana Shalit:

grandmother, saying my final goodbyes, and she died two hours

Dana Shalit:

after that. So it was just like everything happening at the same

Dana Shalit:

time. My cousin passed away, my uncle passed away? My friends

Dana Shalit:

were like, we don't know who you are anymore. Get back to us when

Dana Shalit:

you're feeling better, like they actually said that to me. Yeah.

Dana Shalit:

Oh my

Kate Harlow:

god,

Dana Shalit:

no. Because they were so used to a version of me

Dana Shalit:

that I had spent eight years perfecting, and so self love had

Dana Shalit:

to come into the forefront when I was no longer the job slash

Dana Shalit:

that my identity as that job, my identity as in my family

Dana Shalit:

shifted. My whole life was dedicated to visiting my

Dana Shalit:

grandmother during that time, and my cousin, who was sick, and

Dana Shalit:

all of those things, and my identity with my friends, which,

Dana Shalit:

in fact, like in fact, impacted my work. And so, Who am I

Dana Shalit:

without all those things? Am I willing to love the version of

Dana Shalit:

me that is not achieving I am that I am. Wayne Dyer used to

Dana Shalit:

say, I am that I am. Wow, it's a journey, but it's worth it,

Dana Shalit:

because you know, Wayne Dyer used to say, I always have holes

Dana Shalit:

in my pocket, so I remember that when I put change in them, like

Dana Shalit:

I'm only coming with what I came with, and I'm leaving with what

Dana Shalit:

I came with, like,

Kate Harlow:

none of it comes with you when you die, so don't

Kate Harlow:

get too attached.

Dana Shalit:

That's the work, isn't it?

Kate Harlow:

Yeah, and he knows that he's like, you know, on the

Kate Harlow:

other side now. So there you go. Okay, so, so during that time, I

Kate Harlow:

could feel that so deeply, especially that, like, going

Kate Harlow:

through so much vulnerability and pain, and your friends being

Kate Harlow:

like, this is not who we know you to be. You're the strong

Kate Harlow:

one, you're the manifesting generator, badass businesswoman,

Kate Harlow:

and we don't know how to be with you, because probably imagine

Kate Harlow:

you attracted people like you that were more in their sort of

Kate Harlow:

controller,

Dana Shalit:

masculine doing.

Kate Harlow:

Yeah,

Dana Shalit:

like, what do you mean? I'm sitting around and not

Dana Shalit:

doing

Kate Harlow:

right, what does

Dana Shalit:

that even mean

Kate Harlow:

wild? So, what? So, how did you.. how did you access

Kate Harlow:

self-love during that time? How did you learn

Dana Shalit:

time? Just time. And fortunately, I wish I had a

Dana Shalit:

better answer. I really dove into being during that time, so

Dana Shalit:

it was the most painful time in my life, and I think it really

Dana Shalit:

prepared me well for the pandemic, actually, because when

Dana Shalit:

the pandemic came, I was thriving. I already knew how to

Dana Shalit:

spend a lot of time alone, and I did. You know, I was single at

Dana Shalit:

the time, so I was in at my apartment in downtown Toronto,

Dana Shalit:

and I was just, you know, doing pilates every day. I took a

Dana Shalit:

degree in Native Studies, and I studied to become a

Dana Shalit:

hypnotherapist, and I rode my Peloton, and I cooked healthy,

Dana Shalit:

and so all of the quietness before in my life prepared me

Dana Shalit:

for the pandemic, and you know, the time really made me be like,

Dana Shalit:

I can fall in love with the minute by minute of my day, not

Dana Shalit:

who I'm going to become on the other side of it.

Kate Harlow:

I love that you said the being too, because I'm

Kate Harlow:

just feeling like it's like the, the, the more we can learn to be

Kate Harlow:

and sit with ourselves and sit in front of the mirror and sit

Kate Harlow:

and feel, sit meditation and sit and feel everything that's

Kate Harlow:

there, and like you said, accept everything that's there, and the

Kate Harlow:

more we can like get out of the fucking story, just love

Kate Harlow:

everything that is there, the feelings pass, they're there,

Kate Harlow:

they're clouds, they change form when we actually just feel them,

Kate Harlow:

and I'm just picturing like the gift of that of you learning

Kate Harlow:

how, and it's a learnable skill that we all came into this world

Kate Harlow:

having, and then we were trained out of it, and so you know,

Kate Harlow:

especially with devices nowadays, people's attention

Kate Harlow:

spans are so short, their minds are busier than ever, like I

Kate Harlow:

think in Africa it's crazy, people's minds, they're not, I

Kate Harlow:

mean, obviously I'm not inside of their minds, but I think,

Kate Harlow:

like, the women that I've helped, when I share with them,

Kate Harlow:

like a tip, or like a journaling practice, I was one woman, I

Kate Harlow:

shared a journaling practice, gifted her a journal, and she,

Kate Harlow:

every time she saw me for the next, like, three months, she

Kate Harlow:

cried, and was like, "You changed my whole life, you

Kate Harlow:

changed my kid's life, and I'm like, "Wait, what, I didn't do

Kate Harlow:

anything for one, for two, you did it, but she actually did it,

Kate Harlow:

and she implemented it, and she every single day she did the

Kate Harlow:

practice I gave her, because I think they have a lot of trauma,

Kate Harlow:

but there's less noise, because they're more, because life is

Kate Harlow:

simpler, not of course in all of Kenya, and different in the

Kate Harlow:

city, but life is simpler, life is slower, they work a lot, but

Kate Harlow:

they're on the earth, most a lot of people working with the

Kate Harlow:

earth, and so there is, it's, it's less noise, but in North

Kate Harlow:

America and Western world, we just have more noise than ever

Kate Harlow:

before up in our minds, so to learn how to be,

Dana Shalit:

and also to learn like you're only lovable if,

Dana Shalit:

like, there's so much, you know, in hypnotherapy school we

Dana Shalit:

learned that there's five main limiting beliefs: I'm not

Dana Shalit:

worthy, I'm not enough, I'm not lovable, I don't belong, and

Dana Shalit:

what I want is not available to me. Those are the main five. The

Dana Shalit:

idea that I have to earn love is imprinted so early on in our

Dana Shalit:

school system, it's like it's like you're only lovable if you

Dana Shalit:

get an A on your what grades you know to English class, I don't

Dana Shalit:

know, it's just

Kate Harlow:

and if you put up your hand and you don't express

Kate Harlow:

yourself and you don't share and you don't

Dana Shalit:

exactly, and so self love is again about like

Dana Shalit:

learning to love yourself the way you are without having to

Dana Shalit:

perform for love in any way, like really tuning into the

Dana Shalit:

magic of who we are as a vessel with, you know, trillions of

Dana Shalit:

cells and neurons and abilities to feel, and like the magic,

Dana Shalit:

like we're pure, pure magic incarnated to learn, you know,

Dana Shalit:

the to learn love, really, and to learn love, we have to learn

Dana Shalit:

the opposite, we have to understand the opposite, and so

Dana Shalit:

there's going to be no life without its challenges. There is

Dana Shalit:

a theory in past life regression that when you are new lives into

Dana Shalit:

this world, you will have less contrast, because you're just

Dana Shalit:

learning to live in your expression and your senses, and

Dana Shalit:

as you incarnate again, whatever you believe many, many times,

Dana Shalit:

there's going to be more and more contrast, because you're

Dana Shalit:

learning to hold the full gamut of expression. I think some of

Dana Shalit:

the, you know, the hardest experiences I've had, or, you

Dana Shalit:

know, even working with clients, is that, that are, you know,

Dana Shalit:

have it all, that have all the money, and on paper they're

Dana Shalit:

right exactly what they're used to, is that we feel like the

Dana Shalit:

only way life is worth having, as if we're happy all the time,

Dana Shalit:

like something is wrong if I'm not happy, like it's so

Dana Shalit:

everyone's chasing half that, those dopamine hits of

Dana Shalit:

happiness. It's not about happiness, it's about contrast.

Dana Shalit:

It's actually about the 88 keys,

Kate Harlow:

yeah, the it's the fullness, and, and okay, so, so

Kate Harlow:

for the woman who has that busy Western mind, that like

Kate Harlow:

incessant mind, and believe she can't be and meditate, like, how

Kate Harlow:

did do you have any tips for her to go from that woman who was

Kate Harlow:

like so busy, but and to just being and feeling, other than

Kate Harlow:

like when life rocks you, and then you can't do anything but

Kate Harlow:

feel, but but how did you navigate that part?

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, so it's the practice. So the best thing I'm

Dana Shalit:

attached to is the morning routines, the evening routines,

Dana Shalit:

how you start your day and how you end your day, the things

Dana Shalit:

that are so it really is okay now I have awareness that I want

Dana Shalit:

something else, then I'm going to move into trusting my journey

Dana Shalit:

and then doing the discipline. Habits and taking the time

Dana Shalit:

selfishly to give to myself that which I seek from the outer

Dana Shalit:

world, which will ultimately result in acceptance and

Dana Shalit:

expression, and then you know, real love for who I am, not what

Dana Shalit:

I achieve, which then moves into real authentic self-confidence,

Dana Shalit:

which is the eighth step of the journey,

Kate Harlow:

real authentic self-confidence,

Dana Shalit:

exactly. And you know, I look at my life now, and

Dana Shalit:

how much it changed, and how many sliding doors there were,

Dana Shalit:

and I can say that I'm exactly where I meant to be in this

Dana Shalit:

journey, in this moment in time, and I am a philanthropist. I

Dana Shalit:

have an amazing business that it took me 15 years to get to,

Dana Shalit:

really, of like donating my time and learning what I needed to

Dana Shalit:

learn, so that I could be an expert in this really niche

Dana Shalit:

category of helping founders and athletes create their own

Dana Shalit:

foundations, but I needed those 15 years of learning to get

Dana Shalit:

there to be able to have that really unique skill. I'm hosting

Dana Shalit:

people in Costa Rica now, and welcoming people into a space.

Dana Shalit:

I'm developing a retreat space, which is, you know, going to be

Dana Shalit:

sharing very soon. So, why this? By the time this podcast comes

Dana Shalit:

up, I'll be talking about it, but that is like, there's so.

Dana Shalit:

there were so many nods to the fact that this is how it was

Dana Shalit:

going to go, including 10 years ago I had a fortune teller tell

Dana Shalit:

me I was going to leave and live in the jungle and I was going to

Dana Shalit:

have a space where I'm going to let people and host people and

Dana Shalit:

bring people into my world, and like my god,

Kate Harlow:

and that is crazy, and Dana is just like renovating

Kate Harlow:

this retreat space, she like this, and we talked about this a

Kate Harlow:

long time ago, because I have similar desires. Maybe for

Kate Harlow:

Kenya, you're gonna come help me after you figure yours out, but

Kate Harlow:

we're definitely planting the seeds for New Truth Retreat in

Kate Harlow:

Costa Rica one day when it's ready. But this, yeah, and

Kate Harlow:

you're planning on opening in the fall, yeah, of this year.

Kate Harlow:

20s, crazy. This is so badass. So, you're living in Costa Rica?

Kate Harlow:

She moved during Covid. She's one of the many Canadians and

Kate Harlow:

Americans that are like, 'See ya moved to Costa Rica.

Dana Shalit:

I came on vacation and I couldn't leave because I

Dana Shalit:

had my dog. So, another one of those sliding door moments

Dana Shalit:

where, yeah, yeah, the that's a day after I arrived.

Kate Harlow:

You were at Dave and Brooke and Heather were all

Kate Harlow:

living together at that house, and I came there for my 40th

Kate Harlow:

birthday.

Dana Shalit:

That's right, yeah.

Kate Harlow:

And you were, you were stuck there then?

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, I was stuck. It was, I couldn't get back to

Dana Shalit:

Canada with Lucy, my dog, at the time, because the rules around

Dana Shalit:

dogs and animals had changed, and so I could get back to

Dana Shalit:

Canada, but I couldn't if I wanted her to come with me, and

Dana Shalit:

she was 11 and a half at the time, like I obviously was not

Dana Shalit:

leaving my dog behind, and she lived, as you know, to 15 and a

Dana Shalit:

half, she just passed away a few months ago, 16 and a half,

Dana Shalit:

sorry, so yeah, it's I just couldn't, so I was just waiting

Dana Shalit:

it out for the first year of my time in Costa Rica. I was just

Dana Shalit:

waiting to see when this whole thing was going to end.

Kate Harlow:

Oh my god, and Lucy was your angel to actually keep

Kate Harlow:

you in Costa Rica, because you were meant to stay in Costa

Kate Harlow:

Rica, ride all the waves, literally and figuratively, and

Kate Harlow:

open a retreat center and bring people to Costa Rica. Oh my god,

Kate Harlow:

that is so amazing. And then your business with the athletes

Kate Harlow:

and the creating their, their charities, like you're so

Kate Harlow:

badass. And then Dana also is a hypnotherapist. So, are you

Kate Harlow:

open? Because I certainly know I've had a lot of clients that

Kate Harlow:

I've sent you that are like it or interested in hypnotherapy,

Kate Harlow:

want to explore more about hypnotherapy. If someone wants a

Kate Harlow:

session, are you actively taking clients? I know

Dana Shalit:

very little hypnosis clients, and I don't

Dana Shalit:

really do past lives anymore, but if they reach out to me,

Dana Shalit:

I'll direct them into the right place. Often, when people come

Dana Shalit:

to me for hypnosis, they want it like sooner than later, and

Dana Shalit:

because I'm working a lot into the future, it's not always

Dana Shalit:

ideal, so I have really strong referrals I can make, especially

Dana Shalit:

for past life regression. I speak about this woman who

Dana Shalit:

worked with Wayne Dyer; her name is Amira Kelly. I write about it

Dana Shalit:

in my book, and so I was just speaking to her yesterday, and I

Dana Shalit:

said I'm going to refer people to her, anyone who wants to try

Dana Shalit:

past life regression, because she's just magical.

Kate Harlow:

Is this the woman you worked with at the beginning

Kate Harlow:

of the story?

Dana Shalit:

No, a different one. So, yeah, I, in the, in my

Dana Shalit:

book, you'll see I worked with a lot of different practitioners,

Dana Shalit:

and Mira Kelly Wayne Dyer writes about her in his book. He had

Dana Shalit:

his past life regression with her, so I got to work with her

Dana Shalit:

about three or two or three years ago, and I write about it

Dana Shalit:

in the book.

Kate Harlow:

Oh, amazing! I cannot wait to read your book. I

Kate Harlow:

cannot wait to also have a session with her too. And so

Kate Harlow:

your book is called Pathways to Self: The Path to Purpose. We'll

Kate Harlow:

obviously link it below this. Oh, wait, Kemp, is there a

Kate Harlow:

pre-order or no?

Dana Shalit:

No, august 18. But there's a way to sign up, so

Dana Shalit:

I'll send you the link. Okay,

Kate Harlow:

we'll get you the link for the book, and we're.

Kate Harlow:

You'll be able to get it where

Dana Shalit:

Amazon,

Kate Harlow:

Amazon, Amazon. Okay, amazing. And yeah, this is

Kate Harlow:

amazing. Wow, I wanted

Dana Shalit:

to talk to you.

Kate Harlow:

I'm so blown away. So, if anyone is interested in

Kate Harlow:

hosting a retreat in Costa Rica, and I imagine you'll host like

Kate Harlow:

gatherings as well, or just retreats,

Dana Shalit:

gatherings as well. We know my business, I work with

Dana Shalit:

a lot of businesses, and again, family structures that are

Dana Shalit:

really looking to make an impact on the world. So, that's, you

Dana Shalit:

know, who I love to work with, bring them into this magical

Dana Shalit:

space, and show them another way of life, and, and see what

Dana Shalit:

happens when we calm our nervous system, what that creates for

Dana Shalit:

our mind, and the possibilities that we have. That's why

Dana Shalit:

retreats are so powerful, as I know you know,

Kate Harlow:

I love it. That's so amazing. You are such a

Kate Harlow:

legend, like I was gonna say, I forget, that's totally untrue.

Kate Harlow:

You're, you're.. I never forget, but I just am so inspired by

Kate Harlow:

you. You're such a legend, you're so powerful, and these

Kate Harlow:

pathways are frickin amazing. And definitely run and get the

Kate Harlow:

book. What are your.. what are your final.. like your final

Kate Harlow:

words to a woman? So, of course, this comes.. this.. the title of

Kate Harlow:

this episode is the path to purpose. So, for a woman who I

Kate Harlow:

would say, for the woman who's feeling off purpose, who's

Kate Harlow:

feeling like she just, like, doesn't know what's the point,

Kate Harlow:

why am I here?

Dana Shalit:

Yeah, which I think is going to happen multiple

Dana Shalit:

times in our lives, I don't think it's just one, so if it's

Dana Shalit:

like that call, I just said it to myself a year ago, like there

Dana Shalit:

must be something else out there for me. It's.. it happens every

Dana Shalit:

time an identity shifts. When my dog passed away, I had the same

Dana Shalit:

inner conversation. I'm like, Who am I without walking my dog

Dana Shalit:

every morning? I would say it's going back to the basics. It

Dana Shalit:

really is to the disciplined habits of yourself, so I have a

Dana Shalit:

menu that I create, and it's one of the practices I share about

Dana Shalit:

in the book, so a menu of things that make you feel like

Dana Shalit:

yourself, a list of stuff you've been wanting to do that I've

Dana Shalit:

been putting off, the things that are as easy not to do as

Dana Shalit:

they are to do. For me, it was going surfing at a moonrise that

Dana Shalit:

I've been wanting to do a long time, booking the trip, you

Dana Shalit:

know, really doing a puzzle, like you know how much I love my

Dana Shalit:

puzzles, doing the things that I don't have time to do, but like

Dana Shalit:

they're really just about me, and selfishly taking the time to

Dana Shalit:

do that, knowing that on the other side, if you wait long

Dana Shalit:

enough, if you do the action long enough, there will be pops

Dana Shalit:

of inspiration, and you will know exactly why it took you

Dana Shalit:

this perfect amount of time to get where you are, but only in

Dana Shalit:

hindsight, it's never in foresight, unfortunately,

Kate Harlow:

totally, so true, and the mind always wants to

Kate Harlow:

know what the foresight is, but you, but you see it in

Kate Harlow:

hindsight. Beautifully said, my friend. Wow, you are amazing. I

Kate Harlow:

love you. So, love

Dana Shalit:

you. I, we with people new, as like, we could

Dana Shalit:

literally talk for two hours, easy, right? Yeah, we get,

Kate Harlow:

and yeah, we will, and Donna will be back for sure.

Kate Harlow:

Oh, my gosh, you're set. Yeah, just so much wisdom and so much

Kate Harlow:

alignment. You're just magic. And your story, I mean, I know

Kate Harlow:

there's 10 million more twists to your story and pieces to your

Kate Harlow:

story. And how fucking inspiring. Like, you're just

Kate Harlow:

such a badass.

Dana Shalit:

Thank you. With the biggest heart, thank you. It's

Dana Shalit:

true.

Kate Harlow:

It's true. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Love it. All right,

Kate Harlow:

as always. Share this episode with every woman you know who's

Kate Harlow:

ready to feel more on purpose in her life, and listen to it over

Kate Harlow:

and over again. Go run and get Pathways to Self on Amazon,

Kate Harlow:

August 18, and I think you can sign up for the wait list and

Kate Harlow:

love you so much. We'll see you soon.

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