You don’t become sexy. You reclaim it.

In today’s tea time sesh, Amanda gets real about her “sexy 27” chapter—and why it’s been one of the hardest seasons of her life.

What was supposed to feel fun, confident, and carefree turned into something deeper: healing out loud. As Amanda unpacks the impact of a past violent relationship, she shares how trauma shaped her self-image, trust, and relationship with her own body—and the truth she’s learning now.

This episode is your wake-up call to stop letting trauma, society, or anyone else define your worth, your body, or your power.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself, struggled to feel confident, or questioned what “sexy” even means for you—this is your permission slip to take it back.

Amanda breaks down her Own Your Sexy guide with four pillars to help you rebuild that connection.

From setting boundaries and choosing yourself to movement, self-expression, and creating a life that feels good—this is about owning every part of your becoming, even the messy ones.

No shame. No shrinking. No asking for permission.

Just power, freedom, and confidence—on your terms.

🎧 Press play and start reclaiming your sexy.

Iconic Episode References:

Hot & Healing: How To Turn Pain Into Power

Freedom Looks Sexy: Designing a Life That Serves You

Connect with Amanda:

Follow Amanda's DTBI Journey!

Secure your spot for our next Empowerment Event!

Grab your Breakup Journal!

Explore the DTBI shop today!

Discover your iconic signature scent with Oakcha!

Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic

03:03 Sexy 27 Reality Check

04:19 Trauma & Trust

07:49 Redefining Sexy

11:30 Freedom at the Core

15:41 Reclaiming Your Power

16:19 Four Pillars of Owning Your Sexy

16:49 Pillar 1: Mindset and Energy

18:44 Pillar 2: Body and Movement

21:49 Pillar 3: Expression Rituals

25:38 Pillar 4: Pleasure and Joy

30:52 See you next week!

What's up, Radiant Icons and welcome back to Dare To Be

2

Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

3

I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,

and for today's tea Time sesh, I

4

have been dying to spill the tea on

this very topic, radiant icons since

5

I introduced it last year in our

national Amanda Day Tea Time sesh.

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So without further ado, radiant icons.

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Today's tea time sesh is dedicated to

owning your sexy because it's getting

8

sexy and iconic up in here, radiant icons.

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And as you know, in our National Amanda

Day episode, I spoke about sexy being

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my intention for chapter 27 of my life.

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And within the first few months of my

sexy 27 journey, a lot has happened.

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A lot has happened.

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I have learned a lot and well.

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I can't wait to spill the piping

hot tea with you all because I

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know that's why you are here.

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Okay?

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Okay.

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I know we love some good tea here at Dare

to be Iconic, and I will always deliver.

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But before we get into that radiant

icons, I dare you to connect with me

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on socials on Instagram and TikTok.

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It's @amandapaolicelli_

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and @daretobeiconic_.

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And if you're on LinkedIn Radiance icons,

you already know what I'm gonna say.

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Make sure to connect with me on there.

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It's Amanda Paolicelli.

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All of my socials are linked

in the show notes below.

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And speaking of show notes, radiant icons.

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I know I may have, you know, shared

a little, a little secret on my

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Instagram story the other day that

there will be a very special DTBI

30

announcement revealed on Friday April

3rd, which is two days from now.

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And I did say on my Instagram that

if you are watching the YouTube

32

version of our podcast, then you'll

be able to see a little sneak

33

peek of what that secret will be.

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So if you're watching it, you're welcome.

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I hope you enjoy it.

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But anyhow, anyway.

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Oh my goodness, radiant icons.

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I have missed chatting with you all.

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Oh my God, it's good to be back.

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It's good to be sexy and iconic with you

all as we dive into this month of April

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that is dedicated to owning your sexy.

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So without further ado radiant

icons, let's get into it.

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Are you ready for your tea time sesh?

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Because it's starting now.

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Oh, radiant icons, I have a lot to say

about owning your sexy, and I think the

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first thing that I do wanna lead with is

that Chapter 27, sexy 27, has been one

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of the most challenging and difficult

chapters of my life, a thousand percent.

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And we're only five months in.

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Like that's the crazy thing is

we're only five months in and

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I am having so much difficulty

navigating this chapter of my life.

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There's a lot of things that are coming

up, a lot of emotions and feelings that

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I didn't anticipate coming up for me

when I chose this intention of sexiness.

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Like when I chose this intention of

sexiness, I truly was like, oh, this is

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gonna be such a fun, flirty light chapter.

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It's going to be this va va voom energy.

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Like, oh my god, nothing can break me.

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I'm not gonna cry all the time.

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I'm not gonna have this

rollercoaster of emotions.

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It's just gonna be a fun chapter

and I can't wait to have some fun.

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Right?

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I was wrong.

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I am having a lot of fun, but I'm also

going through a lot of heartbreak if

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I'm being so, so for real with you guys.

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'Cause you know, I tell everything.

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I have been going through a lot of fun,

but also a lot of heartbreak, and that is

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what is so surprising to me, is that I'm

experiencing this pain, I'm experiencing

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this sadness, I'm experiencing this

anger almost, and I know there is

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another extra layer added to it because

I am actively healing out loud from the

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trauma I have experienced in my dating

violence relationship at 18 years old,

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as you guys know, in February in Hot and

Healing: How To Turn Your Pain Into Power.

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I publicly shared my truth for the

first time that when I was 18 I

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was in a very violent relationship.

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Also known as intimate partner

violence or dating violence.

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If you were a teen, and I was a

teenager at that time, I was 18

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years old and now being 27, so

that's like what, nine years, right?

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I am now dealing with it nine years

later, which means a lot of wounds

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that weren't healed, that were

opened are being dealt with now.

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And there's a lot of things that I

apparently didn't deal with, and sometimes

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you forget that trauma sticks with you and

it bleeds into every area of your life.

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And that's been really frustrating

is coming to terms with, oh,

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this incident, this relationship.

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Everything that happened within

that relationship really has

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affected a lot of areas in my life.

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It has affected how I view myself.

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It's affected how I view my body.

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It has affected how I view my friendships.

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It's affected how I view trust.

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It's affected how I view sexiness for

myself, and it's affected how I view men.

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Point blank in period.

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I'm a man hater all day.

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I think we all know this.

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I think we all know this.

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I'm a man hater with a lover girl soul,

and I have not found a man that can change

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my mind otherwise, you know what I mean?

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And so I'm a man hater.

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I'm a man hater because I can't trust

men because of what has happened to

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me, because how I have been so violated

by men in my life that has affected

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me and how I view relationships.

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It has affected my outlook on life.

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And a lot of times this year in

chapter 27 of my life, I have

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been more negative than positive.

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And that isn't me.

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That isn't me not to find the

silver lining in things and

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see how beautiful the world is.

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It's not me to be gloomy and doomy

and honestly negative and angry.

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I've been angry so much in this healing

process, and I have been so sad.

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Because of what has happened and

what I have dealt with and how it

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has affected how I view sexiness

when I just wanted this damn chapter

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to be fun and free radiant icons.

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But the matter of the fact is when

I look at sexy, right, and I think

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of owning your sexy, I have to go

back to that definition of sexiness

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that I set on National Amanda Day.

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Right?

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And for me, my personal definition of

sexy, because sexy is a personal journey.

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It's very intimate, it's very personal,

it's an individualized experience.

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We all go through different things.

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For me, sexiness is accepting

all parts of becoming.

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And.

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Maybe just, maybe I need to

accept this part of my becoming.

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That is why this chapter of sexy

is hard to navigate because I need

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to accept this part right now.

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I need to accept this

part of hopelessness.

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I need to accept this stagnancy.

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I need to accept the anger.

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I've never let myself feel angry for

the amount of times I was violated in

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a relationship by someone I trusted.

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You know what?

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I need to feel it because

that's part of my becoming.

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That is how I embrace my

sexiest most iconic self.

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This is all a part of my becoming.

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All of these emotions and feelings

that I have not felt are coming

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out now because I am stronger now.

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I am safe now to process

it and to deal with it.

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And you know what?

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It's just gonna to be part of the sexy

chapter for me because if we're also

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going to be so, so for real radiant icons,

there is so much trauma, just not only

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for myself and my personal experiences,

but for young women in general when it

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comes to the topic of sex and sexiness,

we are told from the day we come out

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of our mother's wombs, that we cannot

embrace these feelings of being sexy.

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That we are not sexual beings, right?

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Or we can't be sexy for ourselves, we're

told not to embrace our sensuality.

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We're told that we can only be sexy

when it comes to the pleasure of a

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man and how they view how we look.

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Right?

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If we're hot and we're sexy to

them, that's, that's our worth.

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That's a bunch of fucking bullshit if

I'm being so fucking honest with you.

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And it's like.

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It's just so, it's so messed up.

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It's so messed up.

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And I know I'm not the only young

woman who is constantly battling

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what this idea of sexiness is or what

does it truly mean to be sexy, right?

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And embrace our sensuality.

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I know I'm not the only young woman

who has difficulty really comprehending

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what it even is or what it even means,

or how do you, how do you begin?

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How do you begin that journey, right?

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Of defining it for yourself.

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Because we are constantly fighting what

society tells us sexy is, or what men

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tell us sexy is, or what religion tells

us, or it's our experiences, right?

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It's our trauma that has defined

it for us, and then it's us.

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It's how do we see it?

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And sometimes we don't

even know where to begin.

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And when I was crafting my own

personal definition of sexy, which

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is sexy, is accepting all parts of

becoming, I truly had to think of what

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was at the root of that definition.

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And when I thought of 2026, I knew

I wanted my word to be freedom.

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I am letting freedom and sexiness lead

me this year and every decision I make.

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And at the core of sexiness for me

personally, and accepting all parts

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of becoming even the really shitty

and really hard parts of becoming

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like I'm experiencing right now.

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It's based in freedom.

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It's based in this, this freedom, giving

myself permission to make decisions, to

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use my voice, to think creatively, to

think outside of the box, to do things

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my way and my way to be sexy, is to

heal out loud and accept every part

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of becoming, which includes the anger,

which includes the pain, which includes

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the heartbreak and the sadness, and the

agony of coming to terms with what I have

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experienced in life and how has trauma

affected me in every area of my life,

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especially this journey of sexiness.

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I truly just want to be free.

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I want to be free.

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I want to be sexy.

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I want to be iconic.

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I want to be hot and healing radiant

icons, but I can't do any of that

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if I do not take the risk to own

my sexy and I gotta break it down.

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So the first thing that I learned in

this own, your sexy, sexy 27 chapter

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of my life journey, however you wanna

phrase it radiant icons is thinking of

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what is at the root of sexiness for me?

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What does it truly mean for me?

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What is the core?

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What is the stem?

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What do I wanna get out of this

chapter of my life of sexiness?

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That is what I encourage you and challenge

you to look at when you are defining

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sexiness for yourself, what do you want

to get out of this chapter of your life?

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Truly, genuinely, what do you

wanna get out of this chapter

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when it comes to sexiness?

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How do you see it for yourself?

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How do you see yourself letting

sexiness lead you in every decision

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and area of your life so that it's

an energy that you possess within?

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Because sexy is an energy, I'm sure I

said that in the "freedom looks sexy:

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designing a life that serves you."

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Episode from earlier this year,

which I will link in the show notes

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below, but sexy is an energy, okay?

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It's something you carry with you

that you exude, you radiate out.

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You can't radiate out sexiness if you

cannot define it for yourself and get

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to the root of what you want it to be.

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So for me, I wanted to be free.

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I didn't want my pain

to define me anymore.

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I didn't want my trauma to define me.

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I didn't want society to define me.

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I wanted to define sexiness for myself

and figure out what the hell it means.

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What does it mean to be 27 years

old and embrace what makes me sexy?

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What makes me hot?

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What makes me iconic?

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What does that mean?

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The core of that is freedom.

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Having the freedom to do whatever

the hell I want to do it, the Amanda

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way to do it, the Amanda way to have

freedom in my voice, to have freedom

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in my choices, to have freedom in

my decisions, and so much more.

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Giving myself the permission to

just be free, to just be sexy.

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I have to accept every part of my

becoming in order to get to that,

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that is what I wanted to get out of

sexiness and this chapter of my life.

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So even if it's really fucking hard

right now, and it has been some of the

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most like emotionally draining months of

my life, it's all part of my becoming.

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And another thing I've learned on this

"Own Your Sexy" journey radiant icons,

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is that there is nothing sexier than

feeling powerful in your own skin.

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When I think of power, I want

to get to the root of it.

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Right.

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And for me, the root

of power is reclaiming.

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Reclaiming ownership over your

sexiness, reclaiming ownership

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over your body, over your voice,

over your story, over your energy.

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The list goes on and on, radiant

icons, the root of that is reclaiming.

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You are reclaiming

ownership of your sexiness.

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Now we are putting it into action so

in good old Amanda fashion, because

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you know I love myself, a guide.

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I've created your own,

own your sexy guide.

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This is what I have been doing

on my own your sexy journey,

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sexy chapter of my life.

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I've broken it down into four pillars.

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So let's, let's just get to it.

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There's no time to waste, okay?

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We, we all just wanna be

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So the first pillar right,

is mindset and energy.

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There is something so sexy about

reclaiming your mind and your energy when

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you are on this own your sexy journey.

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And it can look something like this.

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It can look like affirmation work.

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It can look like journaling.

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You know, I know a really good journal.

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It's called "Breakup with the Past,

Fall In Love with the Future."

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It's by this really great

business called Dare to Be Iconic.

250

You may have heard of them.

251

Um, I've linked in the show notes

for you, radiant icons, but any who?

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Anyway, let's get back to it.

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Um, it can look like

setting boundaries, right?

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And upholding those

boundaries, radiant icons.

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We've spoken a lot about

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Okay?

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It can look like choosing

yourself, putting yourself first,

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doing what is right for you.

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It can look like taking a course or

a certification on something that you

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have always wanted to dive deeper into.

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I know for me right now,

personally, radiant icons.

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I am doing this course on Coursera.

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Um, it's from Goldman Sachs.

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It's the 10,000 Women course,

and it's all about business

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development and I'm loving it So far.

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I think there is something so beautiful

about pouring into your mindset and

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your energy as you are on this own your

sexy journey and reclaiming sexiness

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for yourself and that ownership of it

'cause it all starts with your mind.

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How do you see sexiness for yourself?

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How do you do that mindset switch

that, you know, I love talking about

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here on Dare to be Iconic, right?

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You are making the active choice to

see sexiness the way you want to see

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it, and not let any external factors

determine how you are going to do that

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which again leads into your energy

because then you'll be radiating

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that sexy energy and your personal

definition of sexiness throughout.

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Now let's get to pillar

number two, radiant icons.

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Pillar number two is body and movement.

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There is no surprise.

279

That this is on here.

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You know, I love a good movement

and I feel like there is something

281

so beautiful about healing out

loud, physically through movement.

282

And um, I do that by again, no shocker

here, going to heels class every week.

283

I love me some heels dancing.

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But truly this pillar of body and

movement when it comes to this own

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your sexy journey that you are on

truly just comes down to finding

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movement that feels good for you.

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Again, owning your sexy is a

personal, an intimate journey.

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It is so individualistic, right?

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What works for me in body and

movement may not work for you.

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Dancing.

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You may hate it.

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You may be like, Amanda, I can do it.

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I have two left feet.

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I find no joy in it.

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I blah, blah, blah.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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radiant icon, I got you.

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It's not for everyone.

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I personally love it.

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It's changed my life.

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It's the most beautiful form of art to me,

to me personally, that I get to reconnect

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with my body and radiate my own personal

definition of sexy through movement.

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But that is not for everyone.

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So find movement that feels good for you.

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This could be a Zumba class.

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This could be weightlifting.

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This could be a hot girl walk.

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This could be Pilates, solid core, a pole

fitness class, whatever it is, you know?

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Now there's their, um.

311

What's it called?

312

My sister showed it to me the other day.

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She keeps wanting us to do it.

314

It's like the bungee fitness classes

or the trampoline fitness classes.

315

It could be something like that for you.

316

It could be ballet.

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I did a ballet class once with my

good friend Rebecca from college.

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I'm never doing it again.

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It reminded me why I hated

ballet when I was younger.

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But you know what?

321

There are some girls who love

ballet and that allows them to

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heal out loud through movement.

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Cannot be me.

324

But you know, I'm the first one to go to

heels class, but you know what I'm saying.

325

radiant icons.

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It is such a individual experience

in this own your sexy journey.

327

So you need to find things that light

your soul on fire and allow you to

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embrace every part of your becoming and

experience every emotion and just be in

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tuned with your body, right, and move it.

330

It's just so important to move your

body when you are owning your sexy.

331

So please, I encourage you to find

movement that feels good for you and

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try new things because that is also

how you build up your confidence and

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step outside of your comfort zone.

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You may just fall in love with

it like I did with heels dance.

335

Okay?

336

That's the last time I'm

gonna say it for this episode.

337

Probably not, but like any who.

338

Anyway, let's get to pillar

three, and that is expression.

339

So expression for me when I

think of this pillar is beauty

340

and fashion combined, right?

341

I'm thinking rituals that make

you feel like that girl, that

342

make you feel like the icon that

you are radiant icons, right?

343

Dressing for you and not others.

344

So for me personally, when

I think of this pillar.

345

I think of, this is such an Amanda

thing, but it makes me feel sexy, right?

346

It makes me feel good.

347

It allows me to radiate that

sexy energy that I have.

348

And so here's, here's

what I'm doing, okay?

349

Okay.

350

Some of them I haven't done yet,

and I want to do, that's why,

351

that's why it's on the list.

352

But for me, in the expression pillar, it

looks like keeping my nails manicured,

353

whether that is doing some press ons.

354

'cause you know, I love me a good presson,

radiant icons or just painting my nails.

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I just need to have my nails done.

356

It just makes me, it just

makes me feel put together and

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sexy and just, just iconic.

358

It could also look like

exploring a skincare routine

359

that makes you glow, right?

360

This could be like a

red light therapy mask.

361

You know, like those are all the rage.

362

I have been dying to try one.

363

Maybe that's something that

I add into my routine, right?

364

Maybe it's doing my gua sha that I keep

on saying I'm gonna do and I never do.

365

Maybe I actually do that, right?

366

Like, maybe I actually add that it can be

investing in matching sets that make me

367

feel confident, like a little cute workout

set, or even like a little like hangout

368

set around the house, or maybe some cute

little lingerie, a cute little PJ set.

369

Like just something cute like that, right?

370

It's like my fashion thing.

371

Um, a robe.

372

I love a good satin robe.

373

I love walking around in my robe.

374

It's just, it's just like a.

375

It's just like a great thing.

376

I just love it.

377

See like that?

378

It's just so me.

379

It's so me.

380

And it could look different

for radiant icons.

381

I also have on here that I wanna

learn how to do a blowout at

382

home, like with the rollers.

383

You know, like those curlers that

the girls have like on Pinterest and

384

stuff where they're like looking at

magazine and their hair is like in

385

curlers or rollers and they just like

look so like, they just look so chic.

386

I want to do that.

387

I want to learn how to make

my hair look like Victoria's

388

Secret modelva va voom boom.

389

And I think it has to

do with those rollers.

390

Can you imagine my cute little set

of like my, like, um, what is it my.

391

You know, I was a Victoria's Secret

angel for Halloween, so I have my, my

392

striped pink robe and my little curlers.

393

Like, you can't tell me that's

not giving, like I should be

394

a Victoria's Secret model.

395

Like, you know what I mean?

396

My God.

397

It's like, come on.

398

Like, that's so cute.

399

But like for me, that is what

makes me like, I'm literally

400

smiling ear to ear right now.

401

Like, I, oh my God, I love it.

402

Things like that are how I express my

sexiness in a beauty and fashion sense.

403

It's the little things that light

me up that make me so excited,

404

that put a pep in my step and just

make me feel put together and sexy.

405

Right?

406

When I put my signature lip on,

I know I'm that girl, right?

407

When I have my nails done,

I just feel together.

408

I just feel like there's

another energy added to me.

409

When I have my robe on,

I feel luxurious, right?

410

Those are the things I encourage

you to think of radiance icons.

411

When it comes to pillar three, it's

beauty and fashion and ways you

412

can express yourself and express

that sexy energy that you possess.

413

And the last pillar, radiant

icons, is pleasure and joy.

414

And when I think of this pillar,

I specifically think of growth and

415

experiences, and I break it down like

this, going on solo dates that force

416

you to go outside of your comfort

zone and do things that you've always

417

wanted to do, but were too scared

to do it alone, so you never did it.

418

That falls into this section, okay?

419

That falls into pleasure and joy.

420

You are doing something for you that is

giving you joy and pleasure because you

421

are expanding yourself as a human being.

422

Another thing that you can do

for this specific pillar is like

423

attending a workshop or a masterclass.

424

Dare to be iconic, also has great

master classes, like I'm just saying.

425

It could be a course, it

could be an event, right?

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Things like that that again, allow you

to stretch yourself as an individual

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and allow you to learn and to grow.

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It could be traveling, like going on

little mini trips that allow you to

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explore new environments that will

make you feel alive because there

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is something so beautiful about the

experience of travel in itself, so

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of course that's gonna fall under

this pillar of pleasure and joy.

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You are doing something that

is going to bring you joy.

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It's going to bring you pleasure by going

somewhere new, by pampering yourself

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with this experience of a little mini

trip to plug away from reality and

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really get in touch with your sexiness

as you are on this own your sexy journey.

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the last one is volunteering, and

that is something that I have been

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dabbling in a lot more recently and

I'm very excited to share some very

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exciting news in the next couple of

weeks when it comes to volunteering.

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And for me personally, radiant

icons when it comes to this pillar.

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Something that I have done and implemented

is, my uncle actually told me about

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this, and it's something that has

really stuck with me, is to plan a mini

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trip or a mini experience that you are

really looking forward to each month.

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And so I did that, and that's how I

relate to this pillar in particular

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of pleasure and joy is travel, or I

create these little mini trips that

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make me feel alive and allow me to get

back in touch with myself and unplug

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from my reality, my everyday life.

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So in January I was, I was, you know,

coming back from being really sick.

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So we didn't do anything in January,

but February I went to Boston.

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I went to Boston and I saw my best

friend from college Deandra, and we saw

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Jade from Little Mix and we ate all the

good food and I saw snow for the first

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time, and that was such a great trip.

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It was so healing for me and I

felt so alive even though I was

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in the middle of a blizzard.

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It was just such a beautiful experience

for me to feel pleasure and joy.

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In April, this coming month, I'm going

up north for my cousin's wedding and

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a lot of cool things are happening,

and then in May I'm going to the

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Miami Grand Prix and I'm very excited

to see the cars go vroom again.

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Even the Lando is not

doing good this year.

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Like what whatsoever?

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It's okay.

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It's okay.

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It's fine.

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It's fine.

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At least we have one world

champion, but like, it's okay.

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It's fine.

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But like those are things, right?

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Those little mini trips are things that

I am really looking forward to that I

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relate back to this pillar because it

allows me to own my sexy and the way

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it allows me to own my sexy is that I

am reclaiming ownership over my voice,

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over my choices, over my decisions.

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I am doing things that I once

told myself that I couldn't do.

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I am reclaiming it for myself.

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I am taking the power back for me.

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And that's how you feel powerful in

your skin, radiant icons, again, there's

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nothing sexier than feeling powerful in

your skin, and I am reclaiming that power

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in the little things that I do in each

pillar for myself, so that I can radiate

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my own personal definition of sexiness,

which is accepting all parts of becoming.

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Welcome to the Fashionably Single

Podcast, where single life meets

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real talk, hosted by Hannah.

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This guy is sitting next to me and

this was like a no shoe kind of house,

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so he had to take his shoes off.

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They were playing cards, drinking, and

then all of a sudden he starts rubbing his

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foot on my leg and her co-host Jessica.

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So he leaves me at the table, he gets

his food, he goes back to his car.

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I'm thinking he's

dipping out on this date.

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I just told him I don't want to marry

him and I won't let him kill me.

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So two millennials in

Austin, Texas, navigating.

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Independence and becoming your best

self with confidence and style.

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Amanda Paolicelli: All

right, radiant icons.

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That is your Tea Time session for today.

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I hope you did enjoy today's

episode on how you can own your

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sexy because in 2026 we are owning

our sexy together radiant icons.

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It's time to get sexy and iconic.

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And you know how else we can do that is

by tuning into next week's tee time sesh.

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Absolutely.

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Absolutely.

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radiant icons for next

week's tee time sesh.

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We are joined by a very special guest,

the co event partner for Dare To Be

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Iconic's first empowerment event of 2026.

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Our first in person event of the year.

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Oh my goodness.

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Dare to move where we are healing

out loud through movement.

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This event includes a Pilates class

and a first ever premiere in person of

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our masterclass at Dare to Be Iconic,

break up with the past, fall in love

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with the future and so much more.

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JJ, the owner of the Movement Lab,

spilling the tea with us on the power

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of healing out loud through movement and

how that allows you to own your sexy.

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Because again, in April we're

locking in on owning our sexy

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and we're doing it together.

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Alright, radiant icons, I'll

just chat with you next week.

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Remember Dare To Be Iconic Bye.