Vulnerability takes more strength than staying tough, and a man who learns to share his fears can change his marriage. My guest Anthony Garcia grew up incredibly poor and carried what he calls a Hispanic machismo mentality. In his mid-twenties, his first business closed because of bad money habits. His first marriage ended in his late twenties, and he felt ashamed, like he was failing at life. He went back to work and poured years into corporate sales leadership. Reps he coached grew from $60,000 a year to over $350,000. That showed him his value came from how he treats people. Today he's a regional sales director and the author of Catapult Commissions. Early on, his wife Carla told him she was a mom first. She wouldn't date casually in front of her kids. Anthony thought about his own young daughter and the example he was setting. He told Carla he was scared of another divorce and of breaking up a family again. She told him she was scared too.

Anthony borrows from his business brain to run his marriage. Carla once told him he's fully coachable at work and asked if he could be that coachable as a husband and father. It took him a few days to stop defending himself and answer her. Now he runs choices at home through a risk and reward check. What would he gain by changing, and what would he lose by staying the same? He and Carla have seen a marriage counselor through good seasons and hard ones. They also get away regularly, sometimes for one night and sometimes for a longer trip. That habit grew out of reading The Five Love Languages and learning that Carla's language is quality time. Anthony believes the most important decision in business and life is who you spend your time with. For him, that starts with his spouse.

The fruit shows up in his kids. His stepson's grades collapsed during his first year away at college, and he spent months at home embarrassed. After watching his parents get back up from setbacks, he returned to school at Arizona State. Anthony's daughter froze and lost her last taekwondo tournament before earning her black belt. Now she spars older girls and gets back in her stance after taking a kick. She told her dad she hates when he misses training because he's her motivator. Anthony says a family believes it can beat adversity when its leaders believe it first. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that a man should quit trying to fix himself by himself. Anthony's change came through a wife who challenged him and a counselor they kept seeing. Husbands and fathers who'd rather stay tough than open up will hear themselves in Anthony. They'll also hear what it took for him to change.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize why showing your fears to your wife takes more strength than staying tough and closed off.
• Use a simple risk and reward question to decide whether to change at home: what will I gain, and what will I lose?
• Learn how regular time away as a couple, even one night, keeps your marriage and your whole house in sync.
• See how a failed business or a divorce can shape who you become without defining your worth.
• Understand why your spouse is the most important person you'll ever choose to spend your time with.
• Spot how your kids learn to get back up after setbacks by watching how you handle yours.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:46 - how bad money habits closed his first business

00:05:02 - why a divorce doesn't make you a failure

00:06:44 - how to bounce back when your identity is tied to work

00:11:36 - thinking about the example you set for your daughter

00:13:04 - admitting you're scared of another divorce

00:13:49 - why couples counseling helps even when things are good

00:15:14 - how machismo keeps men from opening up

00:18:01 - why vulnerability takes more strength than being tough

00:20:47 - using risk versus reward to make decisions in your marriage

00:26:38 - helping a teen get back up after failing out of college

00:32:20 - choosing generational legacy over generational wealth

00:38:43 - why regular getaways keep a marriage in sync

Connect with Anthony Garcia

Website:

https://anthonypgarcia.com/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/anthonypgarcia99

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/anthonypgarcia99

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike