Hello there, SHAME

I think we all know the feeling.

it is heavy, it is avoided by most of us, it is the energy that makes us want to dim our light and hide.

The way and the reasons why you feel shame is influenced by your caregivers, your history and your culture.

People feel shame for very different reasons this is why it is such a powerful / impactful experience when you find someone you can open up to about the things you feel shame for.

When you find someone who can truly listen and show compassion for your pain you will know you have a special person sitting in front of you.

you will know that from now on you can walk lightly and embrace yourself fully again.

Shame is when we reject parts about ourselves and now we experience that an outsider can actually love us for things we rejected about ourselves in the first place ..

This is a moment of release and crumpling walls

This is no doubt a very vulnerable place to be in but it is one where you can see and feel deep love between humans …

forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness and understanding our differences in perspectives is so key

with love

A.

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, and I hope you're doing well. I'm very

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happy to be spending some time with you today and to reflect,

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help you recharge your batteries and just relax into being

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instead of doing all the time. Today I want to talk about

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shame. Shame is the emotion that carries the lowest vibration. If

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you want to talk energetics here, it is a very heavy

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feeling. It is a feeling that sometimes and oftentimes even

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makes us want to hide from people makes us want to avoid

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people not connect to people. It is deeper and more destructive

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than sadness. Sadness is very heavy and low vibrational energy

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as well. But shame the difference between the sadness

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and shame is usually directed towards us. There's something

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inside of us that we are absolutely not okay with

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something that we cannot imagine we will ever be able to embrace

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something that we cannot imagine we can ever forgive ourselves.

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So you don't have to be a criminal. To feel shame, I think

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this is very common sense that we all feel shame for something

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that we have done in the past, something that has happened in

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our life, or a situation that we were involved in. And then you

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will also see that people feel shame, for very, very different

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things. It has to do with their religious background, cultural

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background, and how they grew up. So the household if you look

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at children, children at a playground, children at the

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beach, there's some children who just run around topless and feel

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free, totally fine. And then there is children who maybe got

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dirty, a little bit or wet, and they have to be changed. And

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they feel deep embarrassment and shame for taking off their

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clothing, maybe even in front of their parents. So it all starts

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out when we're very little. And we learn from our direct

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environment of what is shame. Shameful, so to say, and what is

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okay? Now, if you look at friendships, or intimate

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relationships, when you look at the people that you want to

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deeply connect with. I think it makes a lot of sense that once

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we know we can share exactly this, that we're trying to avoid

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and run away from a Nazi about ourselves. If we show exactly

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this to someone, and that person does not reject

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us.

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It is a powerful, very intimate place to be. Now you can decide

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if you want to do this little exercise with me or not, I

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recommend you try it out. You just take something doesn't have

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to be the, the worst part about yourself, but you take something

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that you really don't like about yourself can be physical, it can

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be a thoughts that you have can be something that happened in

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the past. pick whatever you want, you can also imagine

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something new.

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And now imagine you talking to a stranger, in a very safe

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setting. And you guys get along awesome. And all of a sudden,

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that person opens up to you about something that has

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happened in the past something that they have done.

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I think I experienced that there is an instant being able to

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relate to this happening. Because at the same time, you

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might be thinking, Oh, yeah, I've done something similar or

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Yeah, there's something I'm not proud of either. So someone

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opens up to us. And it makes us think of our shame.

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And then

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we start to feel compassion for that person, because we keep

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thinking about what happened to us what is what is what,

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like, what if I would

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open up about this, I know how I am going to react to this person

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now with them opening up to me. But how will they react once I

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open up to them. So they continue talking. And you can

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really see that they feel shame for what has happened to them or

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what they've done. And then it's your part, and then you talk.

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And as you know how shame feel, because of what has happened to

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you or what have what you've done, you will show compassion,

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you will maybe even be able to relate to that story. And you

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will make the other person feel safe and good with you. And then

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you will do the same with that person, he will say doesn't have

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to be in the same conversation. But for the future, you know,

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holy This is a safe place. This is where I can open up because

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that person just open up to me. And I can do the same in the

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future. So in the future, you decide to finally open up to

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that person.

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And they hold space for you. They show compassion. They maybe

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even relate to your story. And while I speak these words for

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you today, I can feel that feeling again that I felt when I

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open up to a loved one in the past.

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And when when they showed me like hey, we've all done this,

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we've all been there and it is okay to let go of that shame of

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that pain. It is liberating. It is so powerful and so precious.

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Because I promise you the next time you look into the mirror,

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you will be able to embrace this step yourself sorry, one little

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bit stronger. You will be able to forgive yourself. And this is

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why we are herd animals we need each other so much because I

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feel when it comes to shameful thoughts and shameful feelings.

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We usually get caught up with this we've tried to suppress it

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not see it avoided but it is always there. And then if we

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know that is that someone we can talk to about it is that someone

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who didn't judge us for this, we start to become kinda with

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ourselves too. And you'd be so surprised to find out how for

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some people, some things create deep shame inside of them. And

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you from an outsider perspective, just think what?

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Like, that's what you think is, like, weird. Let's talk about

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somebody else's stuff or my stuff that I see as way worse.

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Now, so dawn story top that, that person or I think you know

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what I mean? I don't know how to say it better in English, but

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you give that person their space. And you keep these swords

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to yourself these sorts of holy, like, that's not bad at all.

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Because we all experience life on different levels, right? I've

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talked about this in season one. Even if you look at your

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siblings, you guys grew up in the same household, yet you

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perceive life very differently. And this is one of the big

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secrets to a great relationship with yourself and with others,

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is that you constantly check in with yourself, hey, am I

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projecting my stuff onto the other person? Or am I actually

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being curious and giving them giving them space or Yeah, space

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to fully develop, and how they want to develop and express

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themselves. So yeah, shame is a tricky, tricky emotion that has

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to be addressed at some point, because it's going to suck life

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energy out of you, or maybe even make you sick. It is very

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important to find people that you can trust, maybe even

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counselors, or therapists, or people who went through similar

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things, you know, in support groups, Facebook is awesome for

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this. If you need to find a group, a support group, and

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never judge yourself for how you feel for certain things. Because

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you are so unique. was your experience here on planet Earth,

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that no one not even yourself, should judge you on how you

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feel. All your feelings are valid, all your feelings have to

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come up, have to be looked at maybe for a little bit, and then

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have to be released again. We cannot continue to carry that

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shame with us. Because it's gonna make us sick. And it is

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gonna make us hide and dim our light. And we need you out

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there. We need you out there more than ever. Because humanity

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is going through so much stuff right now. So we need every

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person possible out there shining their light expressing

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themselves honestly and openly. with good intentions. We have to

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stop to dim our light and to hide and to feel we're not

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enough. Yeah, endlessly precious. You are enough. And I

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don't think that your shame is bigger than others. Thank you so

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much for listening to the Borealis experience. If you can

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relate to this, if you feel that Yeah, my words resonate with

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your heart and your soul. Please share, please leave me a review

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on Apple podcast. It would mean the world to me to hear from you

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to hear your thoughts. And I will be out there very soon