Your name should be enough. And it will be when who you are matches how you show up.

What This Episode Is Really About

Confidence is not something you construct. It is not the result of the right stage, the right association, or the right credential stack. For fast thinkers who have spent years leading with borrowed authority, that pattern is not a strategy. It is a ceiling. The moment you are no longer adjacent to the thing you borrowed, you are back at square one.

Confidence is a byproduct of two things working together: clarity and presence. Clarity is knowing your North Star so well you do not need to borrow someone else's to navigate by. Presence is showing up genuinely curious about the person in front of you before you try to offer them anything. When those two things work together, you stop trying to be recognized and start becoming recognizable.

This episode builds directly on Ep 4. Getting into the right rooms is only half of it. The other half is who you show up as once you are there.

In This Episode

• The Venn diagram recognition story: three ecosystems, one introduction, zero credentials required
• Why borrowed authority has a ceiling: it belongs to whoever you borrowed it from
• Over-explanation as insecurity wrapped in data: why name-dropping is a substitute for self-trust
• The reframe: confidence is not constructed, it is uncovered
• Clarity defined: knowing your North Star as a lived orientation, not a brand tagline
• Jess's North Star stated plainly: connecting people with the knowledge, tools, and resources they need to live their most impactful life
• Presence defined: genuinely curious before contributing, decisive without performing
• The Wild Courage callback: what it looks like when tenacity is alignment, not performance
• The ADHD disclosure: pattern recognition as a gift deployed in service of others, not as proof of worth
• Why slowing down to ask the question first is harder and more powerful than leading with all you know
• How your name becomes a simple introduction over time and what that actually requires

The Big Idea

Confidence is not loud. It is not borrowed. It is you, clearly. When you know who you are with enough conviction that you do not need external proof, the way you move in rooms changes. You stop scanning for recognition and start offering presence. You stop performing competence and start trusting that what you carry will be evident. That is not a mindset shift. It is the result of doing the actual work of clarity.

Memorable Lines from This Episode

"Confidence isn't constructed. It's uncovered."

"Over-explanation is insecurity wrapped in data."

"Tenacity feels natural when you're not auditioning."

"Confidence doesn't come from having all of the answers before the questions are asked. It comes from being intentional enough to ask those questions first."

"Confidence isn't loud. It's not borrowed. It's just you, clearly."

"Your name becomes the simple introduction. That is not something you manufacture. It is something you earn. Not by trying harder, but by being clearer."

Resources

Book: Wild Courage by Jenny Wood — https://amzn.to/4vaGVNp

Your One Thing This Week

Ask one question before you offer a solution. In the next room you walk into, in the next conversation you have, resist the impulse to lead with what you know, what you have done, or what you think they need. Ask a real question first. One that is actually about them. Not as a tactic, not as a networking move, but as a genuine act of presence. You have done enough work on your own clarity that you do not need to walk into the room proving something. That frees you up to be actually interested in the person in front of you.

Connect with Jess

If this one landed, come find me at BigIdeasMadeSimple.com. That is where the newsletter lives, where everything I am building is taking shape, and where you can connect directly. One idea in your inbox every week, nothing else. And if you know someone who is in a season of figuring out who they are outside of titles or roles or borrowed credibility, send them this one. The right idea at the right time changes everything.

Follow Jess: @thejesswebber on Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, and Facebook

Key Themes

• Confidence as a byproduct of clarity and presence, not performance or credential collection
• Borrowed authority as a ceiling, not a strategy
• North Star as a lived orientation, not a brand statement
• The ADHD pattern recognition gift deployed in service vs. deployed as proof
• Genuine presence vs. performed presence in rooms and conversations
• The Venn diagram of consistent identity across multiple ecosystems
• Becoming recognizable vs. trying to be recognized

Hey there, I'm Jess Webber and welcome back to Big Ideas Made Simple.

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the show where we take ideas that feel layered or abstract and make them practical enough

to actually use in your real life.

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Before I get into my episode today, I do want to do a really quick recap of last week

because that episode has set me up for today's and this one is a continuation.

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And I want it to land whether or not you heard the last episode or if you're just joining

me for the first time.

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So,

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Last week, I shared that perspective is a proximity play.

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That your environment and the rooms that you're in, the people you're around, the

structure of your schedule, shapes your identity more than your willpower ever will.

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Getting in the right room changes you.

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And so today I wanna take that one layer deeper because getting in the right rooms is only

half of it.

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So let me start with a moment from the exact same event I was telling you about last week.

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I was standing and talking with someone I have known for years.

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Somebody who's got a regional leadership position in the real estate world that we're in.

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So he's got way more visibility than just a singular office, but he's not what I would

call a top tier celebrity type status in the company.

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So anyways, we were mid conversation, just catching up on life, talking about a book, all

these things.

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And I

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noticed another well-known regional leader kept glancing at us.

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And she and I don't know each other personally or didn't at the time.

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And it wasn't a rude stare,

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but more like recognition trying to place itself, right?

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And so finally she called my friend over to her who happened to be in the same region,

right?

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And asked who I was.

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She wanted to know why I looked so familiar.

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And he just said casually, oh, that's Jess Webber, And her reaction was immediate.

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I mean, joyful almost because the recognition wasn't based on a title.

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held or a stage I'd been a name on or even a name I could drop.

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It was recognition based on overlap because Our worlds had collided in a beautiful Venn

diagram of not one

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not two, but three different ecosystems.

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And that intersection at the center, the shared presence across multiple spaces, had built

something before we'd ever even formally been introduced.

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It created automatic authority and trust.

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Kinship,

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And so the conversations that we had following the introduction were easy and real and

generous.

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And what I've come to reflect on is the fact that not once did I feel the need to

credential myself.

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I didn't feel the need to...

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drop a past title or reference a borrowed association to earn my place in the conversation

with this leader.

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I just showed up as who I am.

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And you know what?

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That was enough.

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And so what I want to talk about today is your name should be enough.

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And I truly believe that it will be when who you are matches how you show up.

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And so that is what my episode today is about.

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Not the room that you get into, but the person you show up as once you're in the room.

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Because confidence isn't something that you construct or perform your way into.

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It's something that emerges as a byproduct of two things, clarity and presence.

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And when those two things work together, you stop trying to be recognized and eventually

become recognizable.

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And so here's the conventional belief that I really want to challenge in this episode

today, that confidence is built by being seen.

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We live in a world that tells us get on the right stages, attach ourselves to the right

names, collect credibility markers, whether that's titles or associations or follower

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count or rooms we've been invited to.

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And eventually, the confidence will follow.

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Eventually, people will take us seriously if we earn the right.

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But you know what?

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That's not confidence.

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That is borrowed authority.

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And borrowed authority has a ceiling.

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I mean, it truly is a container because it's not yours.

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It belongs to whoever or whatever you borrowed it from.

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And the moment you're no longer adjacent to that person or that stage or that title, you

end up back at square one, reaching for the next thing to prop you up.

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And I say all of this uh with the deepest of conviction because that was me for years.

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In previous spaces, whether it was conferences or networking events or industry

gatherings, I led with my proximity.

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I name dropped, right?

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I'd reference the roles that I'd held.

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I'd weave in context that was designed to make me legible to

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whoever I was talking to.

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well, I used to work with so-and-so, or I was part of this, or back when I was doing this

thing.

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And here's the thing, none of those were a lie.

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Those connections were all real and truthful, but I was using roles or names as a

substitute for something I hadn't found in myself yet.

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over explanation is truly just insecurity wrapped in data.

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I said that last week and I mean it even more this week because when you're constantly

reaching for external proof of your worth, you are telling yourself,

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and the people in the room that you don't yet trust what you bring to them on your own.

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And the exhausting part, it's never going to feel like enough.

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You name drop once and then wonder if that landed.

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Do you need to pull another name out of your back pocket?

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Or you list part of your credentials and then scan their face for recognition before

checking the rest of your

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You perform competence and then leave that conversation wondering if they actually got it.

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And all of that comes from deep down internally.

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You know, and they can often feel that something underneath that presentation that you

were just giving is still trying to earn, right?

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Now,

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Contrast that with the moment that I just described.

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My friend said my name, four words, right?

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Oh, that's Jess Webber.

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That's it.

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And the recognition that followed wasn't about what I'd done.

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It wasn't about who I'd been connected to.

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It was about who I had been and shown up as consistently across rooms over time.

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And that kind of credibility,

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does not come from a pitch.

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It comes from presence.

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So the reframe that I really want you to sit with today is this.

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Confidence isn't constructed.

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It's uncovered.

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And it gets uncovered by not being seen, but by being so clearly yourself that the right

people recognize you.

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And I want to be really careful here because there's a version of this idea that can go

completely sideways.

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This is not about making your entire identity how useful you are to other people.

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Your worth is not sourced from your usefulness.

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That's a trap in the opposite direction.

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And I've been there too.

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What I'm talking about is something different.

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It's about being so rooted in your own North Star, your own clearly defined impact or

purpose, That the way that you naturally engage with people happens to be generous and

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contribution-led.

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Not because you're performing generosity, but because that's genuinely who you are.

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and you don't have to perform at all.

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So let's talk about what actually builds this kind of confidence, because I don't think

it's a mystery.

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I think we've been looking in the wrong place the whole time.

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Confidence is a byproduct of two things working together in tandem, clarity and presence.

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And I want to walk through each of those because again, I think they're both necessary and

neither works without the other.

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Clarity is knowing your North Star so well that you don't need to borrow somebody else's

to navigate by.

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For me, I've said it before and I'll say it again, my North Star is this, connecting

people with the knowledge, tools and resources they need to live their most impactful

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life.

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That's not a tagline.

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That is the thing that has lit me up since high school when I first decided to be a

history teacher.

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When someone can take a big idea and actually use it to make their world more simple, more

aligned, or go out and serve somebody else better, then I am energized by that.

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That's not a brand position.

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It's truly

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the core of who I am.

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And when you know yours with conviction, not as a mission statement on a website, but as

lived orientation, something shifts in you in how you move in rooms.

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You stop trying to be everything for everyone.

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You have the ability to start filtering.

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Not everyone needs what you carry.

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And here's the thing that used to scare me now and feels like freedom.

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That is not rejection.

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That's discernment.

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So when I walked into that conversation at that event, I wasn't scanning for the most

important person in the room.

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I wasn't calculating who could give me the greatest return on my time or energy

investment.

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I was just present with the person in front of me.

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genuinely curious about where they were and whether our worlds had anything to offer each

other.

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And that kind of filtering, that clarity about what you carry and who it's for, only

happens when you're not scrambling to prove yourself.

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boldly in the identity you've built.

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not the identity you've inherited or the one that you've been auditioning for.

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Through proximity and showing up consistently through the evolution that happens when

you're in the right rooms and let those rooms do their work, that is identity that has

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credibility.

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Not that borrowed kind, but like the earned kind.

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Secondly, presence.

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What that means to me is showing up

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in the room genuinely curious about the person in front of you before you try to offer

them anything.

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Not as a tactic or a networking strategy.

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Not as performing curiosity because you've read that asking questions makes you more

likable to people, right?

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This is actually wanting to know where they are before you decide if what you have would

be beneficial to them.

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And so this is where I want to bring back the book that I referenced in episode four, Wild

Courage by Jenny Wood.

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She was one of the speakers at the event I attended and I had read her book in advance.

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her central idea is that serendipity isn't found, it's made.

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And that wild courage is what separates the people who wait for opportunity.

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from the people who created.

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So during her keynote, she asked the audience to share something they'd done wildly,

courageously recently.

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And I raised my hand.

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She called on other people and not me, but instead of shrinking, I called out to her

across the room and asked her to sign my book.

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Now, on the surface, that probably sounds very bold to most people or attention grabbing,

but here's the thing.

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I didn't feel bold.

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I felt aligned because I had read her book.

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I understood her message and what she was teaching.

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And I acted in congruence with that in the moment while she was delivering it.

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That's not a move, right?

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That's presence.

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And so tenacity, as I said last time, feels natural when you're not auditioning.

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That's the thing about presence.

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It's not passive.

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It's not about being quiet or low key Or staying in your lane in some diminishing way.

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It is decisive.

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It's bold.

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It acts, but it acts out of alignment, not from anxiety.

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It acts because something genuinely resonates.

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not because you're trying to get something.

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And I mean, let's face it, people feel the difference, In every room, in every

conversation, the people around you can feel whether you are with them or you're trying to

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work them.

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And the ones who feel genuinely met, not managed or pitched to or leveraged, those are the

ones who remember you.

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are the ones who describe you to the next person they meet.

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Those are the ones whose recognition, when it comes, means something.

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And that's how a name becomes an introduction.

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I

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I want to get honest with you about something because this episode would be incomplete

without it.

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Everything that I just talked about, everything I described, clarity, presence,

contribution, led connection, I believe all of it.

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And I live it now more than I ever have.

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Yet I still have to actively choose it every single time.

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And a lot of that I think has to do with my wiring.

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I may have mentioned it before, but I have ADHD.

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And one of the gifts that comes with that is pattern recognition that runs on hyper speed.

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So I can walk into a room, have a five minute conversation with someone, and my brain has

already connected 17 dots, spotted three overlaps, generated four new ideas, and is ready

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to hand all of that to a person before they've even finished their next sentence to me.

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And

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Truthfully, for a long time, I thought that was my value.

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The speed, the connections, the ideas.

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I verbally process out loud, spewing insights and observations and opinions because I

believed that those answers would make me credible.

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And if I could show you how much I saw, you'd trust me.

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If I could show you how fast I think, then you would know that I was worth your time.

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But here's what I've learned slowly, sometimes painfully.

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Confidence doesn't come from having all of the answers before the questions are asked.

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It comes from being intentional enough to ask those questions first.

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When I slow down long enough to seek genuine understanding, when I ask where someone is

before I decide what they need, something changes in that room.

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I I literally see the dynamic shift.

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They don't feel like a target or an opportunity or a connection that I'm trying to make.

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They feel like the point.

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And that shift, that's where that real connection happens.

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I mean, the kind that lasts or that builds the Venn diagrams that lead to the moment that

I was describing earlier in the episode.

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And I do want to be clear.

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This isn't about suppressing who I am or what I bring to the table.

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I genuinely believe that my ADHD is my superpower.

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My pattern recognition is a gift and the ability to connect ideas quickly and see where

things intersect

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is incredibly useful in my line of work.

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my goal isn't to turn that off, but it's to deploy it in the service of the person in

front of me rather than in spite of them.

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And I believe there's a version of using your gifts that says, look at everything I see

and know and can do.

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And then there's a version that says, let me understand where you are and let's see what I

carry that might actually help you.

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That second version is harder.

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It requires patience that I personally don't honestly always have naturally.

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It requires trusting that my clarity and my contribution are going to be evident without

me forcing them.

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It requires believing that I don't have to earn my place in the conversation.

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I've already earned it by becoming who I am authentically.

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And hopefully this gives you a little bit of insight into the self-talk that I still have

to do all the time, every time.

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I mention it here because I think a lot of you are probably in that similar place.

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You have so much to offer.

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that the impulse is to lead with all of it immediately.

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And the invitation is to hold it just a bit longer.

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Ask the question first.

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Trust that what you carry doesn't expire if you wait 30 more seconds to offer it.

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Confidence to do that, to slow down.

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to ask, to be genuinely present before you contribute, that confidence is a byproduct of

knowing who you are clearly enough that you're not threatened by the pause.

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So here's your next step, and it's just one thing, Ask one question before you offer a

solution.

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In the next room you walk into, in the next...

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conversation that you have, resist the impulse to lead with what you know, what you've

done, or what you think they need.

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Ask a question first, a real one.

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One that's actually about them and what they are, right?

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Not because it's a tactic, not because it's a good networking move, but as a genuine act

of presence.

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Because you're curious.

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you've done enough work on your own clarity that you're walking into that conversation

looking to prove something.

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that frees you up to actually be interested in the other person.

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So here's what changes when you do that consistently.

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You stop trying to be everything for everybody and start being the exact right thing for

the right people.

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You don't have to be a Jack or a Jane of all trades.

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You can stand clearly in the identity that you have built for yourself.

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through proximity, through clarity, through showing up as yourself across the rooms and

conversations and ecosystems over time.

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And over time, your name becomes the simple introduction.

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That is not something that you manufacture.

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It is something you earn.

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Not by trying harder, but by being clearer.

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clearer on who you are and what you carry and who it's actually for.

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So old Jess walked into rooms leading with everything she had done, hoping it would be

enough, scanning for recognition, earning her place in every conversation before she

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actually said anything of value.

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New Jess walks in curious about the person in front of her.

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Clear on what she carries.

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Trusting that the right people will recognize it.

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Not because she made sure they saw it, but because she's been consistently herself long

enough that her presence speaks before she opens her mouth.

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That's the arc that I've been thinking about the last few episodes.

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And I hope you feel it landing.

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Get clear.

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Get in the right rooms.

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then show up as someone worth knowing.

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Confidence isn't loud.

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It's not borrowed.

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it's just you, clearly.

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And if this resonated, I would love for you to share it with someone who might be in a

season of figuring out who they are outside of titles or roles or borrowed credibility.

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Because that season, it's not a setback.

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It's the work.

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And if you're in it right now, I see you.

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Keep going.

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Clarity isn't loud.

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It's steady.

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It's powerful.

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So if I can do anything for you, please head on over to bigideasmadesimple.com and send me

a message.

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Thank you for being here, and I'll see you next time.